Some children grow up in war zones, sleeping in shelters, surrounded by danger.
Others grow up in mansions with trust funds.
Yet the research is clear:
The first group often becomes more grounded, courageous, and emotionally stable…
while the second group can grow into anxious, brittle adults who look successful but feel empty inside.… READ MORE
It’s easy to look at some of the biggest villains in history (both real and fictional) and assume that they were evil incarnate. It’s easy because it frees you from the burden that you could become just like them.… READ MORE
Most people say they support sexual freedom. But when a woman—or man—actually lives it… they turn on them. Judgment. Outrage. Moral panic.
So here’s the real question: “Can you be sexually free and morally good?” And if you can, why does it trigger so much shame in others?… READ MORE
Ambitious people fall into a trap: You’ve learned from a young age that achievement means love, and so, you chase achievement and other external markers of success only to realize the gnawing void is still there.… READ MORE
Most people spend their lives performing.
Pretending to be who they think they should be — polished, composed, and never too much.
But underneath, they feel like frauds.
Because the parts of themselves they’ve hidden — the anger, the neediness, the shame — are still alive, whispering, “If they really knew you, they’d leave.”
That’s why being yourself feels unsafe.… READ MORE
There is a seductive and destructive lie many people fall into: Learn the best tricks and gimmicks and you can have complete control over your relationships – romantic and business.
It’s so seductive because it promises control and success, but it’s even more destructive because it delivers fear instead of control and breeds insecurity instead of success.… READ MORE
In pickup artist culture, men see women’s natural defenses as tests and shields. Pass these “shit tests” and break through her “bitch shields,” and you win her love and affection.
But women aren’t sitting around scheming elaborate tests or plotting shields.… READ MORE
There are two strategies men deploy when they’re dating, but insecure. Either they try the “Nice Guy” approach or its opposite, the pickup artist approach.
But even though these strategies are polar opposites, they suffer the same moral flaw of concealment.… READ MORE
What do you do after you fall short of your values? If you’re like most of us, you deflect, you hide, and you collapse into toxic shame that severs your self-trust and self-respect.
But there’s another way to deal with your failures that can actually improve your relationship with yourself and others.… READ MORE
Most people walk around fighting an invisible war inside themselves.
On the outside, they play the part of the “good person.” But behind the mask lurk the emotions they’ve been told are unacceptable—envy, lust, anger, cruelty, shame.… READ MORE
