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Show highlights include:  

  • The Newt Gingrich way to keep moving towards success (even after you feel defeated). (2:47)
  • How to avoid self-sabotage with these 3 ‘Forward Thinking’ steps. (4:25)
  • How to get rid of the fear of the unknown and find new opportunities in your everyday life. (5:24)
  • How to move past your biggest competitor and find success in any circumstance. (9:05)
  • The Proverbs 23:7 rule for finding strength in hard times and embracing your true purpose. (10:00)

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Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

(Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:34): Hey there, gang. Welcome to find your fear. So glad you're here. Today's chat. We are actually wrapping up one of my favorite series of all time when it comes to find your fierce called strength in hard places. And I just have loved where this journey took us is taking us and it's continuing to do that. I just, I am excited to see and hear your feedback when it comes to the series, just because I know it hits home for me. And especially when I was preparing this for each and every one of you and I am, as you can tell, I'm pretty fired up about it because I have mentioned time and time again, over the course of six weeks that I talked with. So many of you, and I know that you're feeling like you're on a rollercoaster ride filled with all these ups and downs and the twists and turns.

(01:15): And instead of moving forward with peace and purpose, our lives spin out of control. Hopefully we're getting a grip on all of that. And then we're flipping the script when it comes to life being hard, because here's the thing. Life is hard. I mean, it's going to happen, but we're also happening to it. And I know that we find ourselves in some hard places and some tough places, but the chaos and the uncertainty, they do not have to threaten us to make us feel helpless. And we are flipping the script. And that's what we've done here in this series. And so know that your problems do not define you, but they actually refine you. But before I go any further here today, I have to say that I just love that you are here once again, listening and spending time with us. I'm just so honored that I get to be a part of your day because you are also amazing.

(02:01): And I thank you for your love and support as always. I just, you know, your feedback, your reviews, and, and how you share this podcast in the set free message with all your friends and family. And so if you can keep on doing that, that would be absolutely wonderful because you are helping, you are a big, huge part of this movement, as it helps reach more women and impacts more lives. And that is certainly what life is all about. It's definitely what find your fierce is all about. So just want to say thanks again for being with us here each week. So I do want to retrace her steps. I love how we can start like that and just kind of walk back through that journey that leads us up to where we are today, because I know that we've covered a lot over these past few weeks.

(02:39): And so just know if you've missed an episode. No worries. Just go back, catch up the next time you're driving in your car or you're out for a run, but I know that we've talked about how clarity of our vision can help us not only overcome, but to prosper from the problems we face. We've talked about perspective and how we can change the way we look at things. And we talked a little bit about our strength in our purpose, how it empowers us to add value to the world and our why, and that it trumps any obstacles that we come or we're faced with. We dove into perseverance about being true to who you are and being able to identify some of your greatest challenges. We talked about our attitudes and where they will take us. And today we are going to wrap this up and dive into how we can move beyond self-defeat.

(03:23): Now Newt Gingrich said, once that perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. That sounds like truth to me. I love it. It's pretty powerful, especially when it comes to our behavior and moving forward or not to continue to move forward. It gives us a lot to think about it's the hard work that we do after we get tired of doing the hard work we've already done. So let's reflect on these questions. We can ask, why are you the way you are? We can focus on how you can change right now. And I know it's like, where should we begin? And I think about today, I want to focus on what can we do right now with self-defeating mindsets, with thought patterns and emotions that impact our forward progress. Let's talk about the behaviors that sabotage our success.

(04:19): And if we want to do the hard work of persevering and hard times, there's a few things that we have to do. Number one, we have to embrace the problem as it is in this exact moment. In this present moment, we have to embrace the problem. We don't need to hang out there. We don't need to marinate in it. We don't need to justify it. We don't need to shift blame. We just simply need to embrace it to, we need to identify the specific behavior that must be tweaked or adjusted to resolve the problem. What is the one thing you have the power to change that would result in the outcome you desire. And three, we need to actually systematically change our behavior. We need to change that action. The way we show up, we need to focus on what you can do, not what you can't.

(05:07): We need to magnify the future solution over the present challenge or hard obstacle that we are facing. The key here is to be proactive, to be forward thinking, not backward, thinking to be decisive and willing to take immediate action. When we want to change behavior, we will have to change how we think and feel. And as we behave and think differently, we're going to begin to feel differently and we're going to gain more. We're going to gain a more positive perspective heads up though. I totally get that when we start changing, it can cause us, I don't know about you, but I always thought it, but like it can cause feelings of anxiety. It can cause feelings of doubt or uncertainty. And I'm just here to tell you that's going to happen. Especially as we move out of the old and into the new. And I know we talked a little bit about how, how we need courage and that it takes a lot of it and that we need to muster up some more here guys, like today, as we begin to look at your life, honestly, and freedom comes when we act by choice rather than habit, we need practice.

(06:08): So things become a little bit more natural. And the biggest thing that we need to overcome here is to get rid of all the fear that we have because of change, because fear is going to try to grip you. And it's going to be your, one of your most restricting factors when it comes to making that final push over that finish line. And if we fail to confront our fears, guys, it's just going to become more and more debilitating. I mean, it's going to hold us back from everything. So I want us to take a step back first and take a look at any of the fears or doubts that are keeping you from making any type of change when it comes to your behavior. Is it fear of rejection? Is it fear of failure? Is it fear of success? And I want us to identify and confront that fear for what it is.

(06:52): And I tell you why it all comes down to the fear of the unknown. And once you can identify what you are truly afraid of to actually give a name, guys is no longer unknown is sometimes all it takes is exposing a certain fear to reveal how unfounded it really is. We're flipping the game here, changing the fear of the unknown to now something specific, because guess what? That means that we now have the upper hand. It can't take advantage of her life anymore. It can't hold us back. It can't hold us in anymore. Chained up. We just need to consider both the negative and the positive consequences of the change. And it's liberating. It's empowering. I mean, what would be the worst possible outcome? How would such a change in your life? Whatever it may be improved your life, what are the pros and cons of the change?

(07:46): And when we can realize that a change is worth the risk, then we can take that leap of faith. While focusing on our strengths, we can take action to think differently, to choose differently. We can choose to focus on the strengths over our weaknesses. And in turn, we're going to see new options, new opportunities, things that we didn't ever see before. And on the flip side, if we choose to focus on the weaknesses, guys, it's going to prevent ourselves from moving forward. So we got to stop being mean to ourselves. We've got to stop abusing ourselves. Are you being kind and patient with yourself or are you self criticizing? Are you bombarding your world with negativity? Which I gotta be honest. Of course, it's going to influence every single thing that you're going to experience in your life. And when you approve of yourself, you will experience change in your life.

(08:40): That is positive on the upswing, and you will become who you believe yourself to be. And that will be that foundation when it comes to your habits, your thoughts and your actions. So I want to make it even more clear. Basically, I'm saying you are the key to your success. It is not your circumstances or other people. It's not your status. It's not your position. It's you, you have the choice to exchange your bad habits for good ones. And like I mentioned before, it's going to be super hard. It's going to be difficult, just like training for an endurance event. And you're training for peak performance. You're working long and hard for those small little improvements. We must condition our minds and strengthen our power of will through that self-discipline which is going to enable you to push through your own inner opposition and your self-defeating limitations that keep you from competing with yourself and winning you are your only competition.

(09:33): I always say, it's you versus you. Self-discipline is going to move you beyond self-defeat and you can choose. You have the power to choose, to do the hard thing. Even on the days, you don't feel like you can choose your heart. It's not a complicated process. I know we tend to do that. We tend to over-complicate things. It's just that what we repeatedly do is what we're going to become, how you will feel, what you believe. It's like this cycle, your actions determine your feelings as much as your feelings determine your actions. So how do you perceive yourself? What do you believe you're capable of achieving Proverbs 23 7 1 of my all time favorites. It says a man thinks in his heart. So is he, all I can tell you is that if you're willing to adjust your attitude, maintain your strength of purpose, persevere without wavering, you will be empowered to experience all beyond your wildest imagination.

(10:30): So I encourage you not to give up. God has great plans for you. There are miracles, there's inventions, there's innovations, there's new relationships. There's opportunities, there's success, there's prosperity and breakthroughs waiting for you. Let nothing you face. No problem, no obstacle, no challenge to make you not believe that God has great plans for you. And I encourage you as we wrap all of this stuff up, use every challenge as that catalyst and that stepping stone to the life of your dream, embrace the hard places. Find strength in them. Look at your problems in the eye and say, now just how are you going to make me the person God has destined me to be today? I still hope you enjoyed this series of strength and hard places. If you could let me know by leaving a review before you hop off here, that would be amazing.

(11:20): I know there is so much to reflect on after these last six weeks, so much good, so much fun. And if you're wanting more head to Instagram, follow Joe Allen or join us for our next retreat, we have been everywhere taking on these epic adventures that allow us to step outside our comfort zone. So be sure to go to Joel Allen, coaching.com for all the updates or join the just free Facebook group, we would love to have you join us. And I have no idea what the series, the next series is going to be about. I will get to pray in that, but all I know is that it's going to be so good and worth you coming back to listen in next week. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and review as well, talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable. Ya

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