Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
(00:35): Hey there everyone. How are you? Welcome to episode 10 of find your fierce where we are going to talk about being relentless, what it means and how you can be unstoppable. So I'm pretty fired up today. Let me start off with giving you the definition of relentless. You know, with what relentless means. I mean, I looked it up as I wanted to get the exact definition because relentless sometimes conveys a mixed message. I mean, it can be a good thing or not so good thing, but when I looked it up, it's persistence, determination, being unrelenting, it's continual, nonstop. I mean, that sounds pretty good to me. Sounds pretty positive to me. You know, when I hear that I, I like the sound of that. Especially when you're going after something you desire. It's like don't ever back down and give up mentality. You know, being relentless is a state of mind that can give you the strength to achieve, to survive, to overcome and to be strong.
(01:30): But you probably know our type, you know sometimes those type A's, those the goal driven, not that bull in a China shop, that unstoppable whirlwind of a force. I mean we take the world by storm and we take no prisoners. I think I even remember seeing our high school football team have tee shirts that that said that you know and you know that the ambition, the fanatical drive, you know, we visualize the prize, we strategize, we execute, we dominate and we won't take no for an answer that is called being relentless. Truly of all the women I've worked with over the years, to be unrelenting or to be relentless, it's a good attribute to have. I mean it doesn't matter what you do for a career, what goals you have set, you know, to be constant, to show up everyday determined. Unbending persistent. I mean let's get real here.
(02:16): Some people have it, some people don't. But the ones that I've worked with that were successful in what they were wanting to achieve, they had it or even better. I think they worked at becoming better at being relentless. They worked on that skill because ultimately it is a good characteristic to have. It's a positive thing. But, but here's the thing, even when we use it as a positive, there are some negative overtones that comes along with that. I mean we, we gave some bracelets out at our latest find your fierce retreat and one of them was relentless and the gal, she didn't want it or she didn't like that one because of her view of what relentless meant. There's this harsh side that kind of hovers, you know that words like severe remorseless unmerciful I mean it comes to mind when you are relentless. You have your eye on the goal, you mean business and you're not taking no for an answer.
(03:13): I laugh because I think of our kids and how relentless they can be with each other, you know? So being relentless does have its pitfalls. It can be a blessing. And a curse and we can carry it too far and it can actually hinder us from moving forward. So today I want to share with you how one can be relentless and be relentless in a positive and healthy way. Now, of course with anything we need to have a strong why. I'm not going to go into that today, but demanding more of yourself, raising your standards, having a strong why. It's essential. I mean, having a mission, a purpose beyond yourself. Just know that you can go back and catch episodes one and two to set you up and fill you in on that strong why? But let's go beyond the strong why today. Let's talk about being relentless, how you can be relentless.
(03:59): And I'm going to share with you three things. So one, you got to decide to decide. We need to make a decision that we're going after it. Whatever that it may be, you know, make the hardcore decision. You know, until you're committed, there's a hesitance. There will be a chance to quit when the going gets tough. You need to decide for real. You know, we can't just pretend to make a decision because what you have really done is just signed up to try until it gets too uncomfortable. You know? Your vision needs to be more than the small thinking of others or any of the roadblocks that will, we'll for sure and to be guaranteed to come along our way. You know, someone tells you that you're crazy for starting your own business or the people who always know better, right, says that it can't be done.
(04:44): Or if it's a cold, rainy morning and your alarm is set at 5:00 AM to work out because you want to fit into a pair of jeans that you haven't been able to wear. You know, my question is, have you made the decision that you will go ahead and start your own business, go after that dream or will you roll over and hit the snooze button and not work out and convince yourself that your life is fine just the way it is. I love the stories when people were flat out relentless no matter what. I mean, think of Michael Jordan. I know we've all heard the story, you know how he was cut from his high school basketball team, Steven Spielberg, you know, a high school dropout and was rejected from film school three times or Thomas Edison who was told he was too stupid to learn anything by his teacher and he tried more than 9,000 experiments before successfully creating the light bulb.
(05:31): Obviously they made a decision and never wavered. You know, we can't just want it, you know, we need to be all in all out like full out crazy and have made the decision to be relentless to go and push through all the major obstacles to reach your goals, to decide it's drawing the line in the sand, no wavering back and forth or feeling paralyzed from self doubt or fear or thinking you made the wrong decision. Make it commit to it and don't look back and we can't be in indecision mode. I mean we will just stay stuck within these boundaries of what is safe and familiar and deciding to me is a non negotiable. For example, you want to train for a marathon, decide and register for the race. Get to work, you know, no more tiptoeing around the process. I mean, you want to start a side gig, make the decision, stop wasting time and move forward.
(06:24): Don't spend time figuring out how to get out of the decision that you need to make, you know, and fit in fears. We talk all the time about being unstoppable. You know, you see, most people are willing to settle for good enough, but if you truly want to be unstoppable, settling doesn't even make sense to me. Right? Being your best means showing up in your life so that you never stop working on yourself. Your mindset, you never stop learning. You never stop growing. You never stop believing you never quit on your dreams. You know, be relentless in the pursuit of being the best you. So make the decision to decide. Number two, be willing to fail. You know, understand that failure is part of the process. Everyone who is successful, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty competent, failed at something and failed at it. Often. True success is nothing more than having the willingness to mess up time and time again until we have the patience to make it happen.
(07:21): Being relentless is just that. I mean, having the courage to get back up and trusting and having the faith that it's a matter of time until you get your big break, whatever that big break will be. You know, I go back to Michael Jordan again. Okay. He famously said, I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost all those 300 games 26 times. I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed. I love it. You know, I think of all the times we know where things have not gone my way at the time I wanted them to, or telling myself if this works out then or when I come up short. You know, I think back, you know, at the time I got cut from the seventh grade volleyball team, you know, never playing before in my life.
(08:06): But to put yourself out there, to be willing to fail, you know, or to miss the game winning shot or to strike out when the game was on the line. Or think of the times we've all missed out on that big opportunity or not to get hired for that dream job or to not get that promotion and whatever it may be. Think back to all those times the mistakes, the failures or whatever we want to call them. I mean all that we've ever made, you know, we could sulk about it or we could let go of the ego, the pride, get back in the game, shrug it off and work twice as hard when the next opportunity comes around. I mean, we can be relentless, you know, we need to make the mistake, realize it really isn't failure. Figure out the lesson we can take from it and use it as a learning moment release and let it go and quickly move past it.
(08:50): And you know, guys, we got to get back out there and keep pushing forward. Now I gotta add this in there. You may be tempted to play it safe so you can avoid the failing or looking bad or making a mistake. How many times have we held back because of that? When some, they argue that never putting yourself out there, Lisa says that you have a safe and comfortable life, right? But I have to disagree with that. You know, you may not regret it today, but someday you will come to realize that all the opportunities you missed along with avoiding the failures, I mean, you're going to miss out on the great successes and the boatload of adventures that you can be on. So be daring and be that person to go for it versus the one that's on the sidelines and for you to go live the life of your dreams.
(09:32): It's going to require us to make those mistakes that knock us down, but at least you can say that you're playing the game and you're headed in the right direction. I think back to all the side gigs I've started over the years and there's been quite a few of them. A few of them did not work out, but it provided the foundation. It provided that strong base for all my other breakthroughs. We gotta be willing to fail time and time again. Put yourself out there and if you're not failing on a regular basis, then you're not trying hard enough. You're not taking enough risks and you're not growing. And it's the only way for any of us to discover anything. Great. You know, I love challenges and this is something that I do. I want you to envision the stronger version of yourself who is waiting on the other side.
(10:16): Whether you win, whether you lose, you have experienced something new, something difficult, something scary, something challenging, and at the very least, it's going to help you grow and help you Uplevel. So bring on those challenges. Be relentless and be willing to fail. Now, number three, okay. When it comes to being relentless in a healthy way, be willing to adapt. One of the hardest things to do is change the course. Once you've set your goals, especially once you decided that you're not backing down, that you made a decision that you worked for it, that you're not going to take no for an answer, but for whatever reason is not going the way that you plan. This goes along with what we just talked about with being willing to fail. What happens when things don't go the way that you want them to go? Part of being relentless also means understanding or recognizing when is a time to shift.
(11:07): If it's a time to shift directions that we may need to consider other options and adapt. Making the decision to never give up and being relentless means being willing to adapt along the way. So we have to be willing to change course and attack your goals in new ways. And if you hit a brick wall with that original plan, it's okay. Change the course. It's just an essential part of the success process. And life has a funny way of forcing us to adapt along the way. No matter what roadblocks and obstacles, no matter what they're going to show up, you know, and it's sometimes ignores the fact that oftentimes ignores the fact that we are not gonna take no for an answer. And understanding that change is a constant that we need to strive. They'll kind of lean in and adapt and embrace that change that there's always more to learn that there is more than one way to get there and life's going to require us to adapt and make those needed shifts.
(12:04): So go after it, adapt, go after it again, tweak and modify and then go after it again. This is the process for achieving your goals and that's what it means to be relentless. We have to have the ability to bounce back and when we can view the change and view the challenges as an opportunity, an opportunity to learn or to improve herself or our surroundings. I mean this is where the relentless pursuit of greatness kicks in. Many times you don't know where that change is going to lead you, but wherever it is, it's probably going to be better if you face it head on. And have a whole lot of faith. I want to go a little further here. Adaptability begins with a willingness to adapt. Having a mindset that is ready and open to accept. If we are willing to fail, then we need to be willing and ready to overcome and adjust.
(12:53): When that uncertainty at any time finds us, I mean how you frame the problem, how you frame the failure through your mind's eye is what determines your reaction, your response. So if you redefine how you see the problem, then you can set yourself up for success. I mean, being ready and willing to adapt is half the battle on this quest of being relentless. And I have to add this in here. It is so easy to imagine that successful people have always had that magic touch when everything they do or touch turns to gold. But the reality is that they too have screwed up that they've had the up and down journey and they have failed. I cannot tell you how many times I have failed so many times. It's crazy. But the amount of times I had to adjust my sales when the storm start rolling in, that's how many times I had to adapt.
(13:40): I had to adapt just as many being relentless. We are not going to give up easily and goals are often adjusted. Think about bill Gates, his first company was a complete failure, but he was able and willing to adapt and try again with Microsoft and we all know how that has turned out. So readjust, reassess the plan of attack and your skills to see what needs to be improved, what you need to spend time on, seek wise advice and continue to push your boundaries. Know when to slow down, when to take a break, when to speed up and when and how to regroup, be on the mission always to grow and learn. So you were ready to adjust and adapt when need be. So as you can see here, being relentless can be such a good thing when we decide to decide and make a decision to go after what it is that you want.
(14:28): Don't settle like the majority of who's out there and in the society. I mean raise your standard, expect excellence from yourself. Everything you need to be great is already inside of you. Stop listening to what everyone else is telling you and push forward. Decide and just go for it and we are relentless when we are willing to fail because what if you fly? What if you sore and three, be flexible, be willing, adapt, be willing to adjust your sales and then get back at it and attack again if you're wanting some support when it comes to being relentless, if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need that extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to beef and fierce.com and become unstoppable with us. Or if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated, grow in your faith. Join our just brief Facebook group heads up on the next episode. Do you really want to change? We all want and we dream of things, but are you willing to change to make it happen? It's going to be good. Thanks so much for joining me today. Please subscribe. Share this episode, link on your social media as we all know, someone that could benefit and I would love it if you would give some feedback and a review as well. Talk with you next time. Beep it. Be fierce. Be unstoppable. See ya.