It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.6]
Bob: All right, welcome back to the Alive and free podcast today. Today, we gonna talk about sexual energy folks. Isn't that exciting? This is what you woke up in the middle of your weekday to, to listen to. There's a lot of confusion in the world around sexual energy and so, I wanted to lay this bear from a purely observational standpoint, from my own experience, my own understanding of things. This may be a short episode. It may be average,it may be long. We'll see how it goes. [01:00.9]
A while ago, I'd probably shared this story before, but I think this particular element of it is, is pertinent. A while ago, I was training with one of my martial arts teachers, Martin Wheeler out in Beverly Hills. This is a guy who has fought with some of the elite MMA fighters who has trained with them, who's gone out and trained in Navy seals and stuff. I'm totally padding my resume right now. Basically, he's very, very experienced. He's been inside of this type of elite training for a long time, worked with personal protection, bodyguarding, as a bouncer, boxing, you know, all kinds of stuff, done Russian systema for a long period of time and is exceptional as a martial artist and hits hard. Meaning what I mean by that, usually what we think is something that get hit hits you hard is the fist hits as hard as it hits, but then there's the fear associated with it and he can do both. [01:50.9]
So, at one point in time, I was doing some private instruction with him. And I just told him, look, I'm afraid of getting hit still. Like, I'm still afraid of it and I wanna learn how handle getting hit or taking a punch so that I'm not as afraid of it anymore. And so, he is like, okay, cool. So, he had me stand there and he is like, okay, what I want you to do is I'm gonna punch you and I just want you to recover from it, we'll see how it goes. So, he swings his fist toward me and I'm freaking out already. I'm like, pfff…oh, okay, let's do it again. So, he swings again and when I finally am not flinching, then he kind of unloads one right into my belly. And I double over and I'm like, who, who, who? Huh? hufff? And I'm breathing. And I'm like, phfff, who? And I get up? And I'm like, ah, huh? He's like, how did you feel? I'm like, I, that feels like death. He's like yeah, did you notice that I hit you? And immediately you got sucked into that and you bent over and all of your mind kind of went inside and you couldn't, you weren't paying attention to me at all. I could have done anything I wanted with you because you were so focused on that one sensation. [03:00.6]
I was like, yeah. And I'm like, what do I do? He says, here's the thing. A punch is nothing more than energy. It isn't, it isn't a punch per se, it's just energy going from one body into the next body. If you're resisting it or you're afraid of it, then you'll end up just holding all that energy in one place and you'll experience that as pain. But you can also just move that energy. You can have your mind put it in a different place. And so, he's like, what I want you to do is I'm gonna hit you again. I'm like, oh great, thank you. But this time, what I want you to do is just lightly close your fist, just lightly close your fist. And keep your mind kind of in your fist. And what I want you to do is when you get sure you need to bend and breathe or whatever, but as you do, just keep your fist closed and I want you to build yourself up and take that energy and fill your body with it so that you're ready to fight. I was like, okay. So, he hits me again. It still hurt folks but I kept my eyes aware cause I was breathing. Whew, whew..who…whooo…[03:59.1]
And I felt this heaviness start to run down my arms into my fists. They were like heavy. They felt much different than they had before because my body was relaxed so all the weight of my arms could now sit in my fists and then I stood up straight and tall and he looked at me and he kinda gave me a half grin and he smiled. And he is like, see, now you're ready to fight. Now before that incident, I would've called what had happened to me pain. But in that incident, I had a literal physiological experience that showed me that it wasn't pain that I was experiencing. Pain was my reaction to what I was experiencing. But what I was experiencing was just an influx of energy in the body that I actually had the ability to move on my own command. And that started changing some things radically for me and how I understood what's going on in the body. [04:51.7]
We often confuse our reaction to something as the thing itself, right? She made me mad. No, she did something, you made you mad because of it. That made me happy. No that happened, you thought some things about it and you made you happy as a result of it. There is no one on planet earth that can make you feel anything in terms of emotion. Yes, they can inject horse tranquilizer into you and other kinds of chemicals that can, that can give you feelings that you then respond to in an emotional way. You can go through puberty and that can also create some imbalances chemically, but that's not true emotion. That's just imbalances chemically. And your reaction to it is again of your making. No one can make you feel any particular emotion when you really learn how to operate the mechanism. So, meaning now maybe that's happening where it's, you are not in conscious control of how you are making yourself feel one way or another. [05:55.6]
This is really, really powerful because most of the people we deal with that I deal with on a regular basis are people that coming to me with some kind of behavioral addiction. It could be gambling; it could be food. Often, some of the people we work with are dealing with pornography and lust and sexual addiction. And their feeling is that I have this thing happening in my body and there's nothing I can do about it. It's making me attracted; it's making me horny; it's making me really lustful and there's nothing I can do about it, except try and fight it off as best I can and cope with it. Like I did with the very first punch. Most people are dealing with their bodily sensations as if it's a punch to the gut, as if it's something that they're a victim to. Well, if you treat something inside of your body as something that you are a victim to, how fast do you think that's gonna change? [06:55.2]
Exactly, there is no reason to treat your anything in your body as something that you are a victim to. That it may be happening. Yes. Are you a victim to it? No. So let's look at sexual energy per se. Whether you're a guy or girl, when you find yourself lustful or attracted to someone or turned on, even that phrase by the way is, is one that makes you a thing that is acted on that makes you into a victim. Oh man, that really turned me on. Really? No, you looked at it. In order for you to be turned on by something, you have to look in that direction. You have to know what it is that you're looking at. Meaning you can't just be sitting there zoned out thinking about something different. It's not gonna turn you on. Then you have to think about it in a way that makes some, makes it mean something about you, which can come from previous conditioning and all kinds of other stuff. And then your body will start responding to it in a certain way. But if you're not doing the other things, there's no turning on, they don't just come in and turn you on. You have to respond to it in a certain way. [07:58.4]
So, when you experiencing attraction or you're experiencing some kind of what people call sexual energy, all you're actually experiencing is just a certain level of aliveness that happened in your body somewhere. I think this is a really important point. So, I I'm gonna repeat it. When you are experiencing attraction, all that you're actually experiencing is not sexual energy, but a certain aliveness in a certain area of your body. It's just life itself, it isn't anything more than that. [08:30.5]
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [08:59.9]
Too many people wanna call it sexual energy and when they do that, then they think, oh no, well, what do I do with sexual energy? Well, the energy is a sexual kind so, I have to do something sexually with it or have to transmute it, or I have to turn it into something else. And there's plenty of practices for that. It's not sexual energy. It's just energy. Energy, meaning ‘en’ meaning into and erge or an urge is just a unit of like propulsion or compulsion or some kind of direction or velocity similar. So, you have, have an urge inside of you. You have energy. Well, when you have an itch, you also have energy, right? You also have an urge to scratch. It's the same. It's a certain kind of aliveness or awakeness that motivates some kind of action. That's all it is. [09:51.3]
When you learn to consciously move the energy that you experience as attraction or lust to a different part of your body, it ceases to become lust. You experience it differently. So right now, I know for guys, a lot of you experience in the nether regions, not just in the groin, but also in the lower abdomen and certain sensation in the fingers and legs, depending on how much attraction there is, heart rate shifts and all that other stuff. But the bulk of the energy is down in the hip region, right? The lower belly, the groin, the hips. When you experience that, if you move that same energy up into your chest, you will no longer be exp lust. You'll be experiencing some level of possible connection to other people, possibly emotional connection, energetic connection, because the electromagnetic field of your heart extends somewhere around 16 to 20 feet around your body. Meaning a good 10 feet in any good direction. That's there, when you end liven that with more life, with more energy, what happens is that your sensitivity and awareness and perception grows in that arena. And you start to be, feel like you're connected to other people. You feel a deep sense of connection. [11:11.3]
If you were to move that energy into your hands and not into your groin, which admittedly is a little bit more difficult or into your feet, then you would be experiencing something very different, very, very different. If you were to move that energy up into your head, then you can start to enhance intellectual stuff. If you're to move it into the center of your spine, you can experience something different. Depending on how minutely you are aware of your own anatomy and your ability to really direct energy, instead of being a victim to it, to that extent you are the master of what experiences you have. There is no such thing as sexual energy. You can't bottle it, buy it or embezzle it from anywhere. There's no such thing. It is an idea. A concept made up by people to describe just energy that is felt in certain areas of the body. [12:05.3]
When you describe it as sexual energy, you start to become intellectually captive to it and it narrows what you can do with it. When you just see it as a sensation and that's all that it is, we don't even have to call it energy. It's just a sensation. Oh cool. What if you move that sensation when it's just a sensation and that's all it is, and it isn't lust and it isn't attraction and it isn't horniness, and it isn't all the labels that you put on it that make you feel guilty or ashamed or anything else like that, when it's just a sensation and you can move that or change its nature, now you're in charge and you didn't, you're not experiencing less than the first place and you are experiencing a different sensation now. [12:50.5]
We teach people how to do this inside of our retreats, because it takes a little bit of finesse on one way to start to shift and move the energy around through the body, energy sexual energy, I should say, or the energy that's experienced as sexual energy, by most people. That takes a little bit more practice or a little bit more finesse to teach it only because it's such a big, powerful urge, right? Getting an itch in your arm is a little easier to kind of move around, getting a tickle in your fingers and trying to let that sensation travel through your hand and up to your elbow and stuff. You can do that. You can practice by like tickling your hand or your forearm or something, and then try and get the sensation to travel all the way through your forearm. Guess what, when you do this and you learn this, not only does it allow you to control where energy goes, but the depth of your experience of it can also be enhanced. [13:41.2]
So, if you are having intimate experiences with a partner or a, a spouse or something like that, even that you can move the sensation into your whole body, so you can experience it with your whole body. This depends on your ability to focused in the mind, or in a sense to have faith as we described it in the episode on faith, but really, it's not incredibly difficult. It just takes a little bit of practice and you can practice by simply tickling your forearm. Then moving that sensation, trying to fill it in some other areas. So basically, you're charging up one area of the body with movement, and then seeing if you can mentally give it another target like I did with my hands in that punch, I clenched them. I used the physical action to help my mind stay focused. So, I, I didn't clench I'm tight just enough so that I had to pay attention to it. And that allowed me to like focus my mind in that area so that when he punched me, I had something I could focus on because there was my hand clenched a little bit, and that gave me a physical sensation. [14:41.7]
So, if you tickle your arm and then try and wiggle your other finger or big toe or something and try and move that sensation to your big toe, how does that work or move it up to your elbow and then up to your shoulder, or just one piece at a time, see if you can spread it or have it go thicker or something like that. So, it is something that you can practice at home, but I just wanted to take a moment today and disabuse you of all of the hyped information that's out there in all of these books, in all these areas where people who claim to know what they're talking about are using concepts that are not rooted in a direct observation of reality. What you and I have observed is not sexual energy, but simply sensations in the body. If you're willing to just be honest about how little you actually know, like we do talked about in another episode, and simply just be honest about what you are perceiving you can work with what's there, you can't work with the fantasy in your mind about it. That's why it's been so hard. It's just a sensation. That's all it is. [15:45.4]
Move the sensation. Will that take practice? Well for some sensations, yes, for sure. Is it a lifetime of awesome exploration? Sure. Because you can really enjoy every sensation from eating food to driving on the road with your hand out the window to talking even, and the way that, that reverberates in your body and changes things. All of this is a possibility when you start to pay attention and stop imagining that all of the stuff that's happening inside you is rigidly stuck in place and there's no other thing that can be possible. You really have a lot more say in your experience than you have believed. And that starts with recognizing just how much, you know. There's a lot of pop culture books on Tantra and sex and sexuality. And they throw around like masculine, feminine energy words, which I've talked about in another episode. And they talk, they throw around ideas about sexual energy and spiritual energy and all kinds of other stuff. And these are concepts and ideas that they're using to try and talk about different experiences is all they're doing. [16:49.5]
But all they're really having are experiences and sensations in their body, that's it or related to their body, that's it. It's that simple. All your root issues, it's just a sensation in the body. All of this energy stuff, it's just a sensation in the body. All these urges, just a sensation in the body. When you stop calling it and urge when you stop calling it something that it isn't and pretending you have triggers, and that you're a, a victim to something that's out of your control in that moment begins a whole new life. Sometimes it happens quickly. Sometimes it happens slower, but as long as you're taking steps down the road of just calling things for what they are, their ability to control you and have power over, you starts to go away very, very quickly. It's the same as with emotion, depression, anxiety, trauma, all of that stuff, as well as with sexual energy urges, lust, compulsions triggers, all of those things. When you begin to learn that you actually have a say in it that all it is is a sensation in the body or a thought in the brain and that's it. [17:53.7]
There is so much that you can do with it. And if you want help with that, I built a huge online process that you can do on your own. And if you really wanna accelerate how quickly you learn this stuff and learn about shifting some of the sexual energy in a different way, it and want to come to one of our retreats. Even if you're not dealing with addiction, we've had many people, we do retreats for businesses. We've had many, many people come to these retreats for all kinds of different things, whether they want to enhance their sales skill and like really step into the world in a big way, or whether they're dealing with depression, anxiety, or traumas or anything of the sort. So, it doesn't really matter why you wanna come. If you want to come and have that level of experience and really accelerate how quickly you can start to make some of these changes, you can go to thefreedomspecialist.com/schedule, schedule a call. And and we'll talk to you about your situation, see if that's something you wanna do, or if you just wanna check out the online process where there's plenty of support there and take yourself through a whole bunch of different things that can teach you how to be in charge of the sensations in your body, the emotions that you're feeling and everything else, you go to thefreedomspecialist.com/freedomformulaonline, and check it out. Let me know if you've got questions. [19:01.0]
But until then, until then start small, practice tickling your arm or your hand, and practice moving that. And so that sensation really fills up your entire hand, your entire arm. And so, you start to get the sense of just how much you are in charge of how good you really feel. [19:21.3]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [19:39.3]
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