It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.6]
Bob: All right, guys, welcome back to the Alive and Free Podcast. Last week, we told you the subconscious doesn't exist, that all you have to deal with is this one moment in time. And this week we're going to turn around and we're going to look at it from a different angle. And I want you to get this like it's too often that we, we live in a world where we believe that our way of looking at things has to be the right way, but you know, the Jews, when they were looking at scripture and they were thinking about scripture, one way of looking at the way that they thought about it, and the way that they wrote about the truth, “ reality” was to think of it more like a diamond, a diamond is a three-dimensional object, right? And if you hold a diamond a certain way, and you look at it a certain way, you will perceive to the best of your ability, everything that's in front of you. [01:15.3]
And there will be certain facets, certain colors that are coming off of it, certain aspects of it that are intriguing and whatnot. And then if you turn the diamond a different way, you will see different things. And if the diamonds blue on the back and red on the front, for some reason, then you're going to have a very different experience of that diamond. If there's an inclusion or a, or a lack of clarity in one area versus another area, then you're going to have a different experience of that diamond. And it's funny that I have any knowledge of this. This comes from just being a guy who had to propose to a girl once. So, but the point is everywhere you stand looking at that is going to give you a different experience of that diamond. But too often we say, no, what I see is the way, this is the truth. This is all that there is. And there is no other way to look at it. And the moment that you do that, the moment you decide that your one unique percent perspective is the whole of all truth is the moment that you, you really stand on shaky ground. Because now you have to defend your view. If anybody comes with a different view, you're going to get into trouble, hence politics, and the amount of emotional vitriol that comes out of that. [02:23.1]
All because you got married to one way of perceiving things, one way of making sense out of things and the sense we make is not the thing itself. We see something and then we make sense. That's all that happens. And so when we're looking at the subconscious, I gave you one way of looking at it, one facet of it. And today we're going to give you a different facet, right? [02:43.6]
And we're not going to talk about it in terms of conscious or subconscious are just going to talk about it in terms of belief. But I really want to talk to you about like the wheat and the tares and the big lie. Okay. This is our, this is our topic for today. Now in the New Testament and those of you that aren't Christian, this is a brief story, but this is a good story. Frequently, Jesus used the concept of there being wheat and tears and someone sneaks in at night and they sell a bunch of tears in with the wheat. So wheat being the thing, that's going to give you food and nourishment and support you and give you life. Tares, being weeds that when they're there, they suck the life out of the wheat, they steal the nutrients from the wheat, they grow on their own. [03:27.0]
But the problem with the wheat and the tares is they look so much alike when they're growing that it's really difficult to tell them apart. And so in the parables at the time, Jesus would talk about waiting until it's time to harvest. And then at harvest time, you picked them all up and then you separate the wheat from the tares and you keep the wheat and you thresh it and you do all that other stuff and you store it. And the tares you throw away to be burnt and whatnot, right based on the time when the fruit has come from them. So when it's harvest time, when the fruit has come, that's when you know. So what is this particular parable or this particular idea or practice have to do with what we're going to talk about in terms of mental health, in terms of happiness on earth, and in terms of living a life where you are alive and free. I want you to consider this from the beginning. [04:17.0]
The human mind is designed to work from one perspective in a certain way. It gives instructions and the body being an extension of the mind plays them out. So the mind just takes action. And part of that action is thought and a thought that is repeated frequently or is done with enough, intensity begins to become something a little bit more solidified. Like it's not, it's not questioned anymore, it's not, it's just sort of taken for granted. For instance, when you were born, the sun was rising in the East and setting in the West and probably the first few times that you encountered that it was just an all new experience where your brain was going, what is this what's going on? Whatever. And whatever babies do. I mean, they're obviously not speaking English in their brain because language wasn't a thing. In fact, all babies, when they grow up are able to, to process all languages. And only after a short period of time when it's recognized, maybe it's just a few months when it's recognized that certain sounds don't exist in the language being spoken around them, does their mind start to filter out those sounds? [05:28.3]
In other words, it says, Hey, those are words. And then it says, Hey, those aren't words. And so I'm going to filter them out. So suddenly we filter out, sounds like bird calls and dog noises, to a certain extent. We, we filter out Chinese and Portuguese and Italian, if you're an English speaker or you, you filter out Russian and South African, and I don't know all the names of all the languages, no, Tagalog right, because you're, you're the you speak is French. Whatever the language being spoken around you, those are the sounds that your brain decides, Oh, those are important. So I don't need to pay attention to the rest, right? The rest of the sound's not super critical until you go to a foreign country like I did. And then you have to learn another language and people are using sounds that you're like, Hey, I don't understand. And so now you have to get accustomed to that. You have to open your mind to them and you start to question them and what do they mean? And what's going on with those, right? [06:25.6]
So you develop early on a way of deciding which things you need to pay attention to in which ones you don't anymore. The ones you don't anymore those become a sort of belief structure. With that set of beliefs, Oh, the sun rises in the East. Okay, cool. You don't question it anymore. It's not that it's, it's not there, if it's, if it rose somewhere else, you'd look at it and be like, okay, what's going on here? Right. It's not that you would never question it it's that until there arises something in your life, AKA the fruit from the wheat and the tares that would cause you to question it, you would just assume it's fine, it's perfect. That's the truth. That's the way that it goes. Okay. So when you're born, you don't have any beliefs. You didn't come preformed with a way of seeing the world. All of that was something that you developed along the way, partly based on internal tendencies, you know, maybe a personality that you had and a lot of it based on the environment that you're in and what those people believed and how you interacted with those and whether you liked that or not and so you develop certain beliefs about yourself. [07:25.7]
Now we've talked about this to a certain extent in a number of episodes about your name, your name is given to you at first, it's just a sound. Then it becomes a sound linked with someone's going to pinch my cheek. And then it becomes a sound like, Oh, someone's trying to talk to me. And then eventually in grade school, they say your name and you go, that's me. It isn't, you, it's still just a vibration in the air. It's not even a sound, if you listen to the episode on sound. But you make it into a sound and that, that sound is you. And so if somebody starts to mistreat that sound, it feels like they've mistreated you. What's going on here? Your mind has created a certain belief about the sound, the creation of sound. When I make this sound in my mind, meaning the vibration comes and I'm put it together this way and it's my name. That is me. And I must protect that because if I don't protect that I die. Okay? And so we have these beliefs, that form, and there's your sound, your name, your name, your family, name, your family, history, your religion, your nationality, your political party, your, you know, all this stuff. And you just pick up all these little identities and your brain, your mind is its only job is to live. [08:31.5]
So all it's going to do is figure out what it needs to protect. If there is no identity, there's nothing that needs to protect, right? Have you, how many kids have you seen are completely reckless? They have no sense of public decorum of personal safety, they just jump off stuff, whatever. Because their identity with things in the world and with ideas is not very firmly solid yet, at least not for the first couple of years. Then the more they become identified with the things that they have, the more their worries show up, the more their mind starts to operate, the more their behaviors change in order to protect those things. So this is where a lifestyle of minimalism becomes really useful, right? Maybe you don't have to get rid of all your belongings, but the idea of a minimalism of identity is critical because the more things you believe you are, the more internally your mind is going to run ragged, trying to protect those things. [09:22.0]
So here we are in the beginning of life, and one of the biggest things that can happen is when, when we're talking about root causes and core issues is that you can develop a thought or a belief, a guess about reality, that isn't super helpful. And I want to call it the big lie, right. One of the biggest lies. And there are many, maybe I'll talk about both of them, a couple of them today, but I'm definitely one, right. One of the biggest lies that people all over the place pick up just by nature of growing up in the world is there's something wrong with me or there's something wrong with the world. Let's think about that for a minute. A little baby grows up and mom and dad are correcting it. And the more often it gets corrected; it's like, Oh, okay, cool. Oh, I did that wrong. I maybe I always do something wrong, might be a variant on this. And so, Oh, I did that wrong. Oh, I did that wrong. Oh, maybe there's something wrong with me. I'm not big enough, why? A baby's tiny parents are huge. I'm not strong enough, why? [10:20.0]
A baby is not so strong as a parent, they have a certain strength that's pretty incredible a certain tenacity. But you know, dad can still beat him in an arm, wrestle by a long shot and pick them up and throw them around. So I'm not big enough. I'm not strong enough. I'm not fast enough cause they're slower. I'm not clever enough, right. Because people keep outwitting them. I am not smart enough. I am not old enough. I'm not tall enough. Like these are all things that a baby can pick up really simply and really readily as they're trying to make sense of the world. Oh, I can't do that. I can't do this. There's something that's wrong with me that makes it so that I can't live life in a big way. Here's the problem with that? Your mind is a little bit like the field of the wheat and the tares. It is a fertile field for everything planted. And if every belief that you plant there grows because it's watered by repetition, it's watered by ruminating on it and thinking about it and all that other stuff. If everything, every belief that you plant there grows and some of them aren't going to bear good fruit, you might not know in the beginning, because as a kid, you really aren't big enough for some things, you really aren't strong enough for something. So it seems like that's not a problem, it looks just like wheat, but then you get to a certain phase in life and you are big enough for certain things, but you still don't feel big enough. [11:41.6]
You are smart enough for certain things, but you still don't feel smart enough. You are strong enough for certain things, but you still don't feel strong enough. And so you find yourself trying to prove it or going overboard, trying to make it make sense or avoiding things because you just can't handle it and shutting down. And in every single one of those cases, all that has been happening is that the tare is finally starting to show its fruit and it's containing and it's causing your behaviors and the belief that was planted in that fertile ground, that there's something wrong with you. That you're just not enough that, you know, you have your limitations and you've got weaknesses and there's nothing you can do about it, and that's just who you are, and that's the way you are. You start to defend that because it's an identity. Someone tells you no, yes you can. You might be like, no, I can't. [12:29.4]
How many of you've heard kids do that? Even if the parent knows full well that the kid can do it. I can't tell you how many hours I have spent watching my son say he can't do his math homework. And when he finally sits down to do it, guess what? He does it maybe not perfectly every time, but he still does it, he still learns from it. He still improves and he still moves on. There was absolutely 100%, nothing wrong with him. He's perfectly smart enough, but his belief is he can't do it. And because that belief is there, it's creating an action where he's losing a couple of hours of playtime sometimes, and his life is miserable and he hates school because most of his time is spent defending to the death. His belief that he can't do it. We're still working with him on that one, subtly but you know, kids, don't like to be addressing some deeper issues like this so I have to get super creative, but that happens. It happens with kids. It happens with adults. It happens all over the place because what was planted in the field of your mind has been watered and is growing. And in the beginning, you didn't know if it wasn't going to be helpful. [13:31.8]
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [13:59.3]
If you, like I mentioned in another episode, create the belief that life is hard that may be helpful to a certain extent. Like it may help you like really identified possible dangers, but then later on in life, when you recognize it's also deteriorating your health, Oh, the fruit is finally starting to be shown. And when you finally harvest it, you can toss out the tare and only keep the wheat. One of the biggest lies that you and I have been given through the personal development industry, through the entire like therapy industry, the whole idea of Western medicine has diagnosis and disease and you have this and there's something wrong. Unintentionally I mean, these are all industries that have been created to help people. One of the biggest lies is that there is something to fix about you, that you're not equipped and that you're not capable of handling what's in front of you. And I want to give you a couple minutes of a dose of a splash of cold water in the face of that thought so that you can really see the difference between the wheat and the tares and you can tear the tear out. [14:58.4]
From the beginning of your life, how many events and moments in your life have you handled? How many of those have you handled successfully? Here's a definition of success. If you died, then you didn't handle it. Now maybe nowadays you look back and knowing what you know now would handle it differently, but that's you now at the time, you simply stepped up to the bat and you handled it in the best way that you knew how. Period end of statement. And how many of those things have you handled? If you are listening to this podcast, I'm going to hazard a guess that you're not dead, which means that a 100% of your life, every moment to you, that it felt like something you couldn't handle, you handled. Your failure rate is a 0% failure rate. You have failed at absolutely nothing, your entire life. You have stepped up and handled every single thing that's coming your way. And as you move forward in your life, the same thing will happen, right. And you will know if there is something that you cannot handle because you will die. And even death is a way that your body handles overwhelm rather than sit there in pain. it just keels over. [16:02.6]
So even death is handling it, which means that in this very moment, wherever you are on the planet, doesn't matter what life is throwing at you, you are 100% capable of handling it. And the reason you can know that is because you're still alive and you've been handling it. And at this moment, unless there's a tiger attacking you, which if there is, you should probably pause this podcast and deal with the tiger at this moment, unless there's a tiger attacking you, or unless there's really something happening in this moment, there is nothing happening. You are fine and you've been handling and you've handled it perfectly. Now, if there's a disease in your body, guess what? You're still handling it. And you have been 100% successful to date. Even if you've had a chronic illness that has been difficult from the time you were young, you handled it and you've made it to this point, handling it in the best way that you know, how. [16:52.8]
And might you be able to learn some different skills moving forward to handle it? Yes. But have you ever been not up to the challenge? No. Have you ever failed? No. Maybe life didn't go the way that you wanted it to, but if you look at every life, every single person can say that. Because we make up beliefs about what is going to happen And we have, we don't see everything that's going on. At the beginning of this year, a pandemic happened, this is the year 2020. Last November, maybe some people started hearing about it. Last October, September people were ending quarter three of last year, making projections for quarter four, planning for the next year. Do you think they plan for a pandemic? All of them had like, Oh yeah; I really want my business to grow in this way. And this is what I wanted. This is what I want to happen. And then they left the door and Facebook changed its algorithm. So their ad stopped working. Google decided to do something a little bit different. A pandemic hits, gov, state government, shuts some things down. Now you're getting hate speech everywhere else. And like all of a sudden there's an up and arms thing. Businesses have to pivot, some, have to close their doors. People have to change jobs, there's tax reforms and all kinds of other stuff. Obviously I'm describing the United States. [18:02.7]
Did you predict any of that? No. Did you handle it? Yes. Have you been equipped to handle it up till now? Yes. Every single person on the planet has had their life not go the way they wanted it. And they have still been successful at handling it up until now. You've handled it. There is nothing to fix about you. You have the intelligence, the brilliance, the wisdom, and the capacity to have handled everything life has thrown at you to date and you will never be able to lose that. So instead of sitting there worrying about what's wrong with you, step up and acknowledge, dude, I've handled everything to date and there is zero chance of me not handling it because no matter what happens, I will handle it to the best of my ability. Period, end of statement, knowing that take what we talked about last week, about the myth of the subconscious and recognize that all that exists is this moment and that's all you ever have to handle. [18:52.3]
When you can really see that what there is now in this moment is all that there is that it cannot be any other way because it's already shown up this way. Not even God can change what's already showed up, cause it's already showed up this way. And if he created it, it was already here. He can go do something else with it if he wants, but that's what's next. In this moment, nothing can change. In this moment what there is is all there is, and it cannot be any other way, which means this moment is the only thing that you have to deal with. And so, instead of saying poor pity me, or instead of blaming that darn guy, if you step up and you say, okay, this is what I can see, what do I want to do now? And you just continue moving forward in life that way, not only will it be easier, but you will be able to see just how capable you've always been. There has never been anything to fix about you never at all. That was a lie that was planted in the field of your mind. It was nourished over time because it may have helped you navigate certain environments. And at certain times it may have been true that you couldn't do certain things and that people expected different things of you. [20:04.3]
But if you really look deeply at it, did you ever ever see in your entire life any time where there was something to fix about you? Because what you think is you is just an idea you have in your head. Haven't you discovered new things about yourself since being born. Those were there the whole time; they were just waiting for you to discover them new skills, new capacities. It was always there. There was never anything to fix. You've been buried in tares and it's time to harvest and take the fruit of what has been amazing in your life and use it and then throw out the tares and burn them. Because the beliefs that you've been carrying that say, you're not good enough or that there's something wrong with you or that there's something wrong with the world or that the world's out to get you. Those very beliefs are holding you back. Those very beliefs are keeping you stuck and you don't need to nourish them anymore because they're just sucking nutrients from the roots of the wheat. [20:58.3]
And that's why we do this belief work. And that's why we help people root out these things that are no longer helping them, because it gives them a capacity to really nourish the wheat and see better and better fruit in their life. So I'm going to end with a poem that I wrote a few days ago, about a week ago. It's called
They taught me to be where the world as if a threat to life itself,
The sinful world, the real world, the cruel world.
The weight of the world, the afflictions of the world.
But every time I take a peak, the world has never looked that bleak.
This planet is our past to life.
Every tree and grain of sand has made a living place for man.
It's given us the air we breathe, even while we kill its trees.
It has no teachings, it has no sins, has no evil moral scheme.
It hangs there weightless as it spins,
A place for us to live our dreams, and yet the blame has gone to it.
The world, a source of woe, when all that it has ever done is hold us as we grow.
The only weight we ever feel,
The only threat we sense is the one we make believe when life gets too intense, The world did nothing to us, we did it to ourselves.
We planted those beliefs as a way of trying to survive.
And now it's time to let them go. [22:12.1]
Are you with me? Are you ready? If you need help with that, by all means, go schedule a call at thefreedomspecialist.com/schedule. Come to one of our retreats, that's like the most efficient way of doing it. Four days and your life will radically change in so many ways. And it doesn't matter what it is that you're dealing with. If you're ready to no longer have to deal with the weight of those beliefs and the big lies that you've been carrying come to one of these events, they are exceptionally cheap for the kind of events that that are, that we running. Most of them, if you were to go to any events of this caliber in the world, you would be spending six to $10,000 just for being there. And you'd still have to pay for your room and board sometimes. And then that doesn't include all the extra support that you get around the outside that we give, because we really want you to help you really leave these things behind. [22:58.1]
So as you're moving forward, if you want help, come, go schedule a call, let's chat and let's get you going to a retreat or some basic programs that will help you out. If not, if you're like, no, I got this now, Bob, I see that these are lives that are, that I'm looking at. And I realized that I've been, I've been capable of my whole life. I may ask you, what would it have felt like to have known that when you were a kid, when every time somebody kind of made it seem like you weren't good enough, or that there was something wrong with you, you had a friend who was there like, Oh man, look what you just did. You handled somebody telling you that, man, not only were you strong enough to handle your life, you were strong enough and capable enough to handle somebody sitting there telling you, you can't, you've always handled everything. So have they. And they're just feeling sad. And they're trying to find a way to make themselves better, feel better and their way of handling is to try and put other people down. But your way of handling it's been different. Congratulations! What would that have felt like? Imagine a world where you don't have to carry this stuff. It isn't just human life. You don't have to carry this stuff forever. You really can step away from it. Just set it down and finally get a fresh chance at life where you consciously get to choose what you plant in the field of your mind. [24:08.5]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [24:26.6]
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