It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.9]
Bob: All right, welcome back. So we defined emotion in perhaps a new way for a lot of you people. Now, if you've been around me long enough, you know, many of you are probably like irritated with me talking about emotion and be like, okay, we get it, Bob, would you please move on? But then we uncovered the first two of five masks that emotion carries they're called masks because underneath the masks, there's really only one true emotion, but we can confuse certain things in our life for emotion. And that means when we're trying to fix them, we might be trying to fix the wrong thing. And my whole goal in this is to give you the ability to see through what's going on a little bit more clearly, so that you're not so stuck when you're stuck emotionally. Is it really something deep inside that you got to go and handle? [01:19.2]
Or is it simply, Oh, Hey, as we discussed last time, Oh yeah, It's that time of the month or my hormones are a little bit off or I'm going through puberty or I'm pregnant or is it possibly also, you know, what, the things I've been taking into my body have not been the greatest for my system. And now I'm feeling that really in a really big way. And it's changing my chemistry in a really big way. So hopefully that was enlightening for you. And hopefully over the last week, you've gotten a chance to look at your emotional state and ask yourself these kinds of questions, you know. Where am I at with this? If you're a guy you can skip category one, usually I mean, unless you're actually going through puberty or sterility, even, you know, there's probably a lot of different areas where hormones are shifting around in guys at a subtler level. And you know, that's a possibility. [02:08.3]
And then of course, in terms of looking at what you're breathing in the air, you breathe, the sunlight, you're getting the food you eat. If there's medicines and things you're taking, or if you're going off and testing new substances in general, like drugs or something like that. Well, those are going to affect your chemistry and your chemistry is really the heart of what your emotions are. But Bob, how can you say that emotions are just chemistry? Well, what else would you call them? Because anytime you're having an emotion, your chemistry is one place to clearly pinpoint it. Your electricity, your brain activity, which is going to create chemistry, there's no two ways about it. And that's, what's going to happen inside of your body. Now where the source of all this stuff comes from, that's a deeper, perhaps more theorial discussion and yet, and we'll get to a little bit of that toward the, and yet, if you really look at it, what else would you call it? Your experience of something, the emotions and the feelings you have about it. What that boils down to is this is my experience of that thing. And your experience of that thing happens within a body. And the way that that is communicated is through the fluids of the body and the nerves of the body, which is chemistry and bio electricity. [03:21.8]
So in the end, the message, the meaning, the feeling that you have about something, ultimately it boils down to, well, you can find it in your chemistry and if you can find it in your chemistry, that gives us a concrete, practical place to start working. So we don't need to get existential here, we don't need to go off the books and try and like really pin it down. Cause emotion is a word that was made up by mankind to describe certain kinds of experiences that they couldn't figure out. I mean, there's one thing to have a broken bone and there's another thing to feel bad about it. Well, how do we talk about that? And we talk about an emotion. Okay. So the first two masks, we covered mask number three, and we're going to go through three, four and five today and really round out your understanding of this mask. Number three is illness. This is sometimes related to nutrition. In fact, often it's related to nutrition and yet it's something a little bit different. [04:16.0]
If you have bacteria or viruses inside of your system, they'll change your chemistry. They'll change, what's going on in your cells, they'll change how your white blood cell count and they'll change the pH in your body, they'll rise it a little bit more acidic or a little bit less acidic and all these kinds of things. Now it's funny because as your pH goes into acidity, what happens? Well, it starts to match what happens in stress responses. And so your body feels stress, but that stress isn't coming from like, Oh no, I'm stressed out about a deadline. That stress is coming from your body, dealing with and combating a certain level of illness. If you have chronic illness and there's a lot of that going around in the world. A lot of that, you know, may be coming actually from our diet and the way we're our body doesn't have the raw materials to build the right kind of cells, so it does the best we can. And then those sales become a breeding ground for certain types of bacteria, viruses, and other types of chronic ailments. [05:06.2]
So one way to work with that, and obviously it's to look at your nutrition, if you haven't looked into nutrition at all, simplest easiest way to start is to go to amazon.com and get Belldon Cole me's book C O L M E is his last name B E L L D O N, his book is ‘No One Ever Got Fat from Calories.” Okay. And I'm giving this to you because it's the simplest way. He was on a couple of months ago and we talked about it's all about the chemistry, right? And we talked a little bit about nutrition and chemistry, and what's really going on inside the system. You know, go back and listen to that episode, go grab his book because it's the simplest easiest place to start to get a different understanding, different viewpoint about nutrition. And he gives a very simple kind of clear way to understand ratios and food groups in such a way that you can fairly easily move forward in life without complicating it and having to count calories and weigh out food and all this other stuff. So, you know, he's all about eat as much as you want, as long as you do it in the right proportions, your body will function great, Okay. [06:03.2]
So, but you know, illness is something different. If you get the flu, have you noticed that you're a little bit more irritable or your, your, your winey, or maybe you feel more like a victim than you do typically do. This is an important thing to note, and everybody knows this, right? When you get sick, how are you when you're sick versus how are you when you're good? Some people, you know, they're fine and they just shut up and they're really quiet other people are complainers all the time. And if you know, many older folks, you get to see this playing out because their bodies are in a place where now they're having to deal with environmental impact in a different way, a lot of times. And a lot of them have bodies that are, you know, more susceptible to disease, just because of a lifetime of eating a certain way or living a certain way, or because they're just getting older and that's just how it's going. And so what you'll see is a range of different people. And if you notice among the older generation, and there's no disrespect for them, obviously, cause I'm not in their shoes. I don't know what it's like to be them neither do I know what it's like to be you dear listener. [07:02.4]
And so we don't really know what it's like under somebody else's skin, but you notice that my grandfather, when he was going through his bows and he went through pancreatic cancer and he went through a couple of different kinds of cancer and he eventually died. I think it was from cancer. Some, maybe it was eight years ago now and I remember like he was a lot more crotchety at the end of his life. And that was the time when he was dealing with the most, you know, his back and whatnot, wasn't functioning as well as he would like, you know, so he had some aches and pains there and then on top of that, he had some more illnesses and his emotions were the same. And people sometimes talk about others who get this way as if they're like really crotchety mean people. They're not, they're, chemistry's off their bodies, dealing with stuff and as a result, they're expressing it in a certain way. It's an expression of what's going on, on the inside. And yes, they may get irritable at times, they may have some things that generate true emotion of anger, but it doesn't take much to tip the pH of the blood for instance, over a little another tick in order to make it happen into anger. Right? [08:10.7]
So maybe they're a little bit more irritable or something. There are others who are sweet as can be, you know, so it's not just like, this is a chronic, Oh, well, every old person gets crotchety, I'm just giving an example here. So when you're dealing with illness, if you're sick, give yourself a little bit of a break in terms of your emotions and perhaps give yourself the chance to look at it and go, huh? Maybe this is just, I'm a little bit sick, a little under the weather and so I'm likely to be a little bit more emotional, so to speak and have the, my moods go up and down and that's totally normal. Cool. That's my buddy working on it. How can I help my body return to optimal health? That's the question you want to be asking yourself anyway. Because optimal health in the human system, wellbeing at a deep physical level, when your body is simply at ease, it produces a capacity for you to handle things that you normally wouldn't be able to handle. Have you noticed that? The days when you just feel great, everything goes great. The days when your body kind of aches, well, now it's like irritating as all heck. [09:12.4]
Imagine this, you've got a 600 pound backpack. You're walking down the street, okay. Maybe not 600 pounds, let's say 200 pounds or 100 pounds. So it's pulling on you, it's kind of heavy, you're walking down the street, it's a little harder to walk and somebody like bumps into you. How do you respond? You get irritated, you get knocked off balance maybe. And if they knock you over, boy, does it take a long time to get up? But if you weren't wearing a backpack and somebody bumped into you, maybe you get knocked off balance a little bit. But how has your emotional reaction to that? Have you ever noticed something like this in your life? That you're just not as reactive to things when you feel great. And when your load is lighter, that happens. Well illness is a big load on your body and so it's natural that there's, it takes a lot more awareness to not respond in an emotive way against things that are happening like that. It takes a level of, of awareness that you are not, that your body is simply an experience and it's not you. Okay. [10:11.5]
So that's the third mask, the fourth mask of emotion, this one is ‘messages from the body.’ And I think this is a really commonly overlooked one. And I wish people understood this more. You ever heard the term hangry? A person is hungry, their body is sending them a message that says, Mayday, Mayday, we don't have enough food, or we don't have enough this, or we don't have enough of that and we need some more nutritional, whatever. And please, please, we just need some food and so now you're starting to get irritated cause you're getting this message from the body over and over again, and your pH is off. And so now persons hangry, they are not emotional in the sense of they're having some feelings about something they're just, there's anger that shows up. Okay. That's one message of the body. Some of the messages in your body might include itches, right? [11:02.7]
If you're itchy all over, that could fall into the illness category, but it could just be like itches or para stuff on your skin. And like that can irritate a person to the point where Hey and your body's itching because Oh, it's standing on something that's, that's an irritant or something like that. And it's a message from your body going, Hey man, Hey dude, did you, did you notice there's some stuff here that probably not a good idea, right? So itches, skin rashes, things like that. Aches and pains, meaning, you know, your muscles, something's going on. If you had an injury, your body might be telling you all about all the good stuff that is doing to heal that. But like, Oh, you've been sitting in one spot for a long period of time. Did you know? And I mentioned this briefly in another episode that the very structure of the body, the position you sit in is itself conducive of chemical states. It'll put stresses on your organs and, and stretch and strain, connective tissue, it'll stress joints. And a lot of us sit in a very slouched position, most of the day, a lot of us do. [12:04.3]
And I used to do this in the car. You know, we'd go on long road trips and have you done this like long road trips, you sit in the car all day long, you get out and you stretch and hold, the stretch feels so good. That's amazing. And then you go back inside that you go inside the house you got there, you unloaded the car, you talk to other people and then how many of you sit down on the couch after that? Because you're tired, you're tired from a trip in which you did nothing, but sit. Why is this? Because sitting is kind of an advanced posture. You know, the entire systems of yoga are built around the idea of working the geometry of your system, it's alignment and everything else in such a way that a person will be able to sit for long stretches of time in any bodily position in total ease, but especially sitting with a back, straight up and down in a meditative posture for long periods of time so that they can experience things within the human body that just aren't that accessible to people sitting any other way because of the geometry, right? Because of how the body is structured. [13:04.9]
So if you sit in a certain way for a long period of time, how long do you tolerate that? Have you noticed that when you have your computer on your lap and you're looking at it and it's kind of an awkward position for your neck and whatnot, but you're trying to get something done. Have you noticed that your body hates that? And that, you know, it wouldn't take that long for you to just be like, you know what I'm going to get my body into a more comfortable position. And now I can actually focus and not have to be trying to power through before my body falls apart or you're thirsty or you're hungry. Right? And you're like, no, no, I got to get this done. Why is it that we've put mental work, meaning stuff that doesn't exist out in the world over our own comfort, over our own wellbeing in such a way that we're willing to let our body go into a chemistry that is poisonous to it and is killing it by degrees rather than just take a pause and get ourselves into an optimal state so that life can flow through us more readily. Why, why is that the case? Our society was built around it. Could it possibly be, be, be because of some of the chemistry we've included in it. Like we talked about last time with caffeine and other types of things we ingest on a regular basis that we've literally hijacked our chemistry specifically. That's made our brains work in a certain way [14:16.7]
Tto where now we can't get off of that. Like, Oh no, no, but this is how things have to be done. Just a thought, right? Other messages from the body, our tiredness, we already mentioned hunger and thirst, we already mentioned joint like pains or aches and pains, or just discomfort in any way, shape or form. You can also get like instincts and gut feelings about certain things. And there's also these things called mirror neurons.
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [15:09.7]
Mirror neurons, as far as I understand them are things that are, are basically very, very receptive to your outside world and very, very receptive to what other people are feeling, particularly. Meaning another person comes in the room, they feel a certain way, your neurons mirror them and that's how you know how they feel. Because some part of you went there and you might ask yourself, this is what people who are empaths or highly sensitive people. You know, they deal with this a lot and my contestation is that everybody is very highly sensitive, some of us just don't pay attention to it. But your body's doing it no matter what your body is, that sensitive, we just haven't dialed it in. So these people they go in and they're just soaking in everything and they're aware of everything that they're soaking in from other people. So they walk into a room. They can't handle a room of a lot of people because everybody else is having like all these emotions stuff and their body goes haywire. [16:04.1]
Now, if you didn't know that that was something going on in the world, you didn't even know that was possible, you might start to think that you're emotionally unstable or that there's something wrong with you when there's not. And you might ask yourself, is this my emotion or is this somebody else's? You know, when somebody comes up to you, I read an article a while ago, and the article was busy discussing this notion of when somebody comes up to you or when you have this thought that you want to share with somebody else or a thought about somebody else that you want to complain or something did that thought come from you or did it come from them. And it makes you see conversations in an entirely different way, because you have this thought about this judgment about someone and then all of a sudden you recognize, wait, maybe this is something they're insecure about. And they projected it to me. I picked up on it. My thoughts created that in my head and I wanted to spit it back out to them and thinking that I'm the one thinking that, but I wasn't thinking that before they came, they showed up and suddenly that thought arose in me. Maybe that's something that they're dealing with. You'd be surprised how much compassion you have for people. [17:03.2]
So these mirror neurons pick up things and they're showing you the world in many, many ways, and that can be mistaken for your own emotion. And if you mistake any of these messages from the body for your own emotion, it becomes a very confusing battle because you're constantly trying to work on your emotional state. You think you're depressed, you think you're angry, you think you're sad, you think you're struggling. Are you actually? Look deep into your body, check all over? Is your butt cheek struggling? You know, is your right nostril really having a rough day? Are you feeling that chemistry in your, in your own body or is it just something that you, that just kind of came as a wave? Is that your own? Is it somebody else's? Is it a message? Oh, maybe I'm just hungry. Maybe I'm thirsty. You know, maybe, Oh, maybe I've been sitting in a weird position for a long period of time. [17:52.0]
I had a client a number of years ago who was dealing with depression and she came and I only gave her one assignment over the week, was to keep her chin up and her chest up. Was it? So it was just a postural thing. She came back the next week. She said it was the best week of her life. We hadn't done anything. I even told her if she wanted to watch a sad movie, that's great. Just make sure the TV is above eye level so that you keep your chin up. And so she sat there for a week focusing on just two simple things, changing her body posture in such a way that her emotions changed. There's power poses and all kinds of other things that we've looked at you can find on, on Ted talks and YouTube and people discussing this, that the body shape, the body position is conducive of certain emotional feelings, conducive of happiness, conducive of joy, confidence, power, all these other things, because a person held a body position for a couple minutes before going into a job interview. So ask yourself this one Yes, obviously, how am I feeling? But two, is that actually my feeling? And if it is, is it actually an emotion or is it just that you know, my body's been, I've been slouching all day long, or I've been in this weird position or I'm hungry, or I'm dehydrated. [18:59.6]
Asking yourself that frees you of the need to go looking for some deep psychological trauma. And you can simply go and take care of what your body needs and in so doing, you develop a kind of friendship and it all starts to produce for you more even emotions, further down the road. All right the fifth mask of emotion, once you've handled the first four and I outlay them here, I lay them out here specifically to give you a way to start to fulfill these needs. One, obviously the hormonal thing, there's a little bit of that we can do to change like exercise and nutrition and things like that to have some say in, but then the second one, obviously what you ingest in your body, you have some say in that, and once you start getting good things and more of the good stuff in, then your emotions will be less erratic. Two illness, well, as you're getting more of the good stuff in, you'll be less ill. And so you'll have fewer of those things going down. It's been, I don't get ill that often, like it's been a while, been a long time, you know, maybe once in a year or maybe once every couple of years, you know, it happens and Belldon Colme in his book, you know, that's once every eight years has been eight years since he got sick. Right? So just because of how he handles the things he's putting in. Okay. [20:08.6]
So illness, once you started to handle that and you operate with your body's health in a really powerful way, and then you've also started to listen to your body's messages and hold it in a way that allows you to be with ease and grace and how you breathe and all these other kinds of things. Now we can look at real emotion. We take all the masks off and the fifth mask is the one that's the real emotion, which is ‘your thoughts and your feelings about something.’ You cannot look at the world right now in the state that we're in without having an emotion about it. Because the filter through which you see things, is the way you think about it. As you look at something, all of the, in your head that are associated with it are there until someone has come along and dismantled them, which is what we do with our company, The Freedom Specialist. And if you need help with that, especially if you dealt with past trauma or big things in your life, or you just feel stuck, you know, some of the coaching programs we take people through, or even some of the smaller programs, really powerful in helping you figure out how to dismantle your thought processes around things, so they’re not so sticky. [21:09.7]
When you think that thought, then your body creates that as a chemical and physical experience. Meaning when you look at something and you say, I hate that your body goes into the Superman booth comes out and has its t-shirt on that's like hate, hate, hate. And when you have mixed feelings about it, like, I hate that, but I'm supposed to be happy. Then it's got hate and a smile on his face and your body changes, your breathing changes, all kinds of other things change because of how you think and feel about things. This is a true emotion and the source of this has to do with the way that you see the world. And what we deal with at my company is, you know, a lot of the people that are dealing with addiction or dealing with depression and chronically and anxiety; they have a bunch of beliefs about life that feel like their truth. They feel like it's like, just as sure as the sun comes up in the sky, money's hard to come by or just as sure as the sun comes up in the sky in the East, but the only way to get money as hard work. [22:07.1]
Or nobody likes me, or I'm an introvert, or I'm not good at that. All of these beliefs that we build up in our life around what is right, what is wrong? What is, what is appropriate? What, what is what we're supposed to do? What are our responsibilities? What are we not supposed to do? How do we fit into society? What career is the best career? All of these things are beliefs we've built up around society based on evidence we've gotten. And we've only seen our own view of the diamond. And those of you who are seekers, cause I know there's a bunch of you out there. Maybe if you explored a couple of other facets of the diamond, but still our views or our views. And most of them were formed as we were growing up, trying to figure out how to navigate the world as survival techniques. That's all it was. I need to survive this, so let me, let me, let me make an educated guess based on what I know as a two year old about how this works and if it works great, we figured it out and we move on and we don't, we don't question it anymore until it breaks down again. Okay. [23:03.5]
So these thoughts and feelings really come from our whole core set of beliefs and perspectives about two things, one ourselves. These are things that at my company, we call them turbos, so the underlying real big one, right? That's the acronym turbo. And we call them that because they're usually about, they're usually about the person or the underlying real big ones, by the way, they're usually about the person. So it's a worldview about yourself, how you fit in the world, who you are, what your definition is of yourself, which we tried a little bit to dismantle, you know, last episode and the episode before, as we're talking about definitions. But now also the other things that we see are what we snarls at the freedom specialist. Snarls, it stands for silly notions about real life. In other words, things that we believe about life, which aren't actually the case, they don't exist in the creator's creation as the way that we're thinking about them. And because we think about them a certain way, we create our own limitations. [24:01.5]
If I really believe that it's a fact that it is impossible for mankind to do something like a four minute mile, which has been said, which has been, has been said in history and this is a common example, or break the speed of sound to break the sound barrier. If I believe that as a fact, my body will not do it. Only a person who was open to the possibility who is willing to ask themselves the question, what if I'm wrong? Only that person would have the capacity to have a body that would allow them to do it. Now, sometimes we do get surprised by things and we're like, Oh man, I thought that was impossible because you know, you have a good friend who was like, just shut up and do it. But those are things we believe about real life. These are beliefs are the Genesis, they are the filter through which we see the world, which means we don't even see other possibilities. And then all of the stuff that made it through the filter, then our brain goes, Oh my gosh, this is what's really happening. What do I think about that? And then it creates another thought. And then we have an emotional state. So you've got two things going on. You have your worldview, which is already creating a mechanical respiratory, electrical, chemical state inside your body. [25:10.9]
And then you have your thoughts about it, which add to that and compound that in a certain way. I don't like this. This needs to stop everything else going on. And when you have that chemical cocktail going on, can you see how it's a little bit difficult to simply sit by yourself and relish the pure fact of being alive? I can't tell you how many people I've met, who can sit still by themselves for long stretches of time without getting antsy and needing to do something in order to feel happy. They get bored, they say. Boredom is not a positive emotion. Nobody I know ever wants to be bored the rest of their life. There's a negativity that's starting to show up because they believe a lot of them that you have to be productive. That it's lazy and laziness is bad. You can't just sit still and do nothing that's bad, right? And that belief creates a chemical state as soon as it's perceived. Oh no, we've been sitting still and doing nothing, right? Those beliefs create a problem for you and I to sit and enjoy just how beautiful life really is, right? [26:18.6]
This is the final set of masks, this is the final mask of emotion. This is what it really is underneath the surface has to do with the worldview. So when we're helping people, we help people from all kinds of different places in life. Past traumas, abuse, depression, addiction, and everything else to identify and dismantle these things, these core issues, and then to retrain their emotional reflexes in such a way that they can do anything in life. Anything that's required of them and still be happy. Now I'm not a hundred percent of the way there. I don't know, I mean, there may be a couple people on the planet that I know of that might be a hundred percent of the way there. But I'm not a hundred percent of the way they're still working on it. And none of the people that I have ever encountered us have any level of the capacity to do just that right? To really just be perfectly 100% happy all the time, just being alive without having to be anything else to anybody else, or even having to have some definition or meaning or purpose or mission in their life to be happy. [27:22.7]
Because if you need to have a mission in your life in order to feel valuable, that means you don't feel like you're valuable unless you have a mission. You weren't born that way. That's something you learned later on, and that is creating a filter through which you see the world and that's creating your thoughts. And those thoughts are creating the, all the changes in your body and that's creating your health. It's creating your wellbeing. It's creating your ability to find and execute on opportunities. It's creating all of the stuff that's going on in your relationships, the good, the bad and the ugly, whatever it is and the beautiful we might as well, even it out is creating everything the way you see the world, that's it. So the real true cause of emotion is that. And if you really want to be free, I highly recommend you start with some of the emotional skills we teach, go to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out our, choose your own emotion program. Like it's simple, it's 20 days and it'll do some amazing stuff. [28:16.4]
But if you really want to get deep and dismantle things, you may have been on a seeker's journey for a long time, have been going through all kinds of different programs, so really dive deep into yourself and really discover what's possible. What could blossom out of you? And you just want to go to that next level. Let's schedule a call. Schedule a call, let's get on the phone. Let's look at your situation and let's figure it out what's going to be the best solution for you to really dismantle some of those things so that you can experience life on a level that you never even imagined possible because the way you see the world didn't even allow for that. [28: 48.5]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [29:07.3]
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