Welcome to the “Making of a DM.” Confidence will make you rich AF, and I mean rich in every aspect of your life. So, with that said, let's get started.
Mark: Hey there, it’s your host, Mark Evans DM. Today I’m in a different location as I’m sitting here talking to you. I’m at the crib here in Mentor, Ohio, in the cigar bar, looking at my snack area. I don't go in. Humidor. If you have to see some pictures, you can go online. You’ve got the coffee maker. You’ve got the beer tap, all that good stuff, and the most important thing, the money counter up there. That's all we need. [01:08.5]
But I want to just say, thank you, guys, very much again. I know I always like to start to show off like this, but it is important, getting all these shares and all these comments and people saying, Hey, man, I was able to leave my job because of you. Hey, man, I’m at 15k a month now, started off making 2,000 a month following you, and just hearing that makes me excited. That's why I show up. That's why I do these things for you. I have a million other things to do, but this thing is important to me.
I love the concept of one-to-many and all that, and also today the show that I’m going to be talking about confidence will make you rich as fuck, and when I mean rich, I’m talking to every aspect of your life. I want to talk to you about that today and doing the show, writing books, different things I do on a daily basis and a weekly basis, etc., are things I do to give me confidence. [01:59.0]
The truth is, like I shared last week, when you guys are posting, we all have bad days, but when you're posting positivity on a iTunes review or on an Amazon review with one of our books, maybe shoot me a private message in Instagram or Facebook and let me know some good stuff, that helps us that we all win. You win because you get to share something positive. I win because I get to read something positive.
Today I want to talk about this confidence thing and, like I said, confidence will make you rich as fuck. In relationships, it's almost cliché to see, again, I’m using real talk with you guys as I always do, but it's always cliché to think, Hey, that fat guy or that short guy—I’m this guy, by the way—from high school, ends up with the hottest chicken town. Why do you think that is?
One thing I’ve discovered as we get older is that it’s because these guys have embraced who they are and they own that shit. They become confident in who they were and are, and as you know, that's a very attractive trait to see someone confidently walking, confidently talking, and making moves. [03:05.5]
You could put a homeless guy in a $5,000 Tom Ford two-piece suit, and as you know, he'll still walk around with his rounded shoulders to avoid eye contact with anyone and everyone around him. You toss Donald Trump and a pair of sweatpants and wrinkled t-shirt and he'll demand your attention and respect. What's the difference with what I’m talking about here today? It's simple. It's confidence.
I had a buddy of mine that owns actually a fairly decent-sized company in the multi-millions of dollars per year and he's having a confidence issue. He’s not a bad guy. He's got great confidence everywhere else, but right now his business has taken some hits and he's overthinking. He's going down the non-confident ladder, the whole of non-confidence, and when you do that, you start doubting. You start fearing. You start playing to protect, not playing to win. A lot of things change drastically when you go down this hole, and we all do this, by the way. [04:00.5]
The key is recognition, recognizing that you're losing the edge, the confidence factor in the game of-- Again, this is for everything we're talking about, from health, wealth, relationships, etc. In your health, too, have you ever noticed, once you start to see results, you get more motivated? When you show up to the gym, the hardest part is showing up. It's easy once you show up, but the work is done when you actually get out of bed and commit to show up.
When you commit, you show up and you execute. You get more motivated. For the first 30 days, the seven days, you're just kind of picking up some steam. But once you start seeing, maybe the pants are fitting a little bit easier, maybe the shirts are fitting a little bit looser, and you start looking at yourself in the mirror and you start visioning something a little bit different. It's going to give you a lot more confidence because you're doing something that's finally starting to pay off. Your efforts are being recognized. [04:58.5]
We can say the same thing in business and life, right? If you have KPIs, by the way, KPI is a scale. KPI is fat loss and what weight, but in business, it might be that maybe I’ve got to make 100 calls a day. Maybe I’ve got to put three more people on the board today, per day. What are your KPIs? What are your confident numbers that you need to be marching towards daily?
The good news is, when you start seeing this, results start happening. It starts getting easier. The truth is now the next cycle to all this is complacency. It's starting to get so easy, you actually think you can get away with certain things that when you're deep in the confident part, you're focused and you wouldn't steer off. You would stay on track no matter what.
“I’ve got a birthday party.” Okay, so stay focused. “Oh, man, you don’t understand. I’m hanging out at my buddy's bachelor party.” Stay focused, right? And every time you go off that unfocused opportunity, that's an opportunity, by the way, when you're in these moments. It's an opportunity to make a decision, the decision that’s either going to serve you for where you're going or take you away from where you're going. [06:01.0]
I’m not saying not to have fun and do stuff and all that, but trust me when I tell you, when you're focused on these health things and wealth things and all that, dude, I’ve missed many family reunions. I've missed many family events. I missed many things in my life because I was focused on my wealth, focused on building my businesses. I’m not saying that's right or wrong. I’m just saying, when I’m focused, I’m focused. Nothing can derail me. “Mark, we’ve got a problem.” That's your problem, not my problem. I’m focused on my business, next, and I just stay focused and focused and focused.
Don't get me wrong. Relationships, I’m very focused on relationships. I talked about that last week, relationship capital. It's one of my biggest things that I focus on daily. It is something that means a lot to me and it makes me confident knowing that I could literally text. I don't even have to call them. I could text 20, 30, 40 people and say, Yo, I’m in a pinch, I need 100 gees. Don't ask questions, and a percentage are going to send me 100 gees, no questions asked. [07:02.2]
I’m that friend, by the way. I would do the same thing. I would send the money, if they're my boy, I’m connected with them, I trust them, I believe them. I’m not rolling with anybody that I don't trust, believe and like anyway, right? I’m confident when I come into connection with someone, if they need help and one of my guys or gals that I know can help them, I’m going to simply connect them and execute. That makes me feel confident in my strides.
Wealth. This is a true story. Back in 2001-ish probably, actually from ’96 to 2003 or 2004, I cold called sellers every single day, seven days a week, and one thing that was funny actually when I was 18 years old was that I still lived with my parents. They'd get the newspaper, the Sunday newspaper, The Sunday Dispatch. It would arrive at 10 o'clock at night. I’d go straight to the home section. This is pre-internet, by the way. Pretty much the internet wasn't like what it is today at all. I would literally pull out the paper. I’d go to the “homes for sale” section and I’d start calling people. [08:03.4]
I remember my parents were like, Mark, do you realize it's 10 o'clock at night? and I’m like, Yeah, but they want to sell the house. Why wouldn’t they want to talk to me? Literally, you’ve got to understand the psychology of the seller. They had to figure out what to write. They had to pay $50 for the ad spot and then they're like, Oh, my God. Keep in mind, these are not marketing people. They put it out there and they're like, Wonder what's going to happen. Who do you think would win the deals? I was the first guy to call them late at night.
They're like, H-h-hello, hello.
I’m like, Hey, Steve. I’m calling about your house you just listed for sale.
He's like, What? You already know about it.
I was like, Yeah, I’m looking at The Columbus Dispatch. Have you got three minutes? I have a couple of questions.
I wasn't worried. I wasn’t going, dude. You can't call after nine. If someone is advertising something, you can call whenever you want, in my opinion. I’m not making the rules here for you, but my rules are, if you're advertising, I call people at 4:00 a.m. I call people at 10:00 p.m. I call people when I need to call them, right? [08:55.0]
But anyway, there are times when you're cold calling and grinding it out and you're not getting a good connect rate at all. I’d get a hundred no’s or 50 no’s back then, and no one is answering. I’m like, Dude, what the hell is going on? So, my confidence is starting to deteriorate every time I’d push a call. Every time I pushed a call, Hello, hey, Steve. It's Martin. Leave me a message. Leave me a message. Before you know it, nothing is happening.
This is a true story. I still do this today. When I don't have good connect rates at anything I’m trying to do, I stop and I hit my mom or dad up, because mom and dad always answer, right? I’m calling someone that's going to answer the phone, and when I do that, it breaks the cycle. For me, it resets me. It gets me excited. I get to talk to someone for a couple of minutes. My mom and dad are excited because they get to say hello, what's up, again because I’ve already talked to them in the morning, but I’m back to work. Hey, Dad, got to go, appreciate it. Talk to you soon, later. Boom. That's a small win, but it's a huge win with a small conversation and it helps me boost my confidence, and like I said, I get back to dialing, smiling and dialing. [10:07.5]
All these examples have one thing in common, confidence, and confidence breeds more confidence, and it snowballs and it gets bigger, and that's why winners keep winning, because they realize that this is a confidence game.
Now, the key to building confidence or breaking out of the slump, falls into several pieces. Small daily wins, it never fucking stop. Never. That's the tough part for most people. But what's interesting for me, I’m very hard-headed. My buddies are kind of the rebel guys. We don't quit. We do not quit until the cool has been accomplished. We realize, if you quit, it's the only way to lose. Quitters lose. There are so many quitters out there. [10:58.2]
Another true story. I run a lot of e-comm stuff and we have a lot of partners. No, all partners are not created equal. I’m always amazed that people are so optimistic getting into an investment, and when the investment flutters or side-steps or takes a hit for a minute, the first thing they do is go to negativity. “You fucked me. This is a scam. I knew this wouldn't work. I need a refund.”
It's like, dude, one, we're partners. I’ve never called a partner of mine and said, Yo, man, I need a refund because that's not partnership. Do you think that he works for me? He doesn't work for me. We're partners. Big, massive difference. Then, number two is, dude, we're the operating partner. You're the capital and partner. We're working on this together. There's nothing at all one hundred percent, nothing personally for me that wants to not make money with you, because if I’m not making money, I’m paying all these people every day, I’m talking $100,000-plus a month in salaries to not make you money? It's insane to me that a knucklehead would think that that's how real investing is. [12:11.8]
Investing. This is going on right now because the stock market took a pretty big dump yesterday. But that's like saying you put 50 grand or, let's say, 100 grand for easy math, $100,000 into Apple on Friday and you wake up and that 100,000 is now worth $50,000. What do you do? The majority of the people bail. It’s called fear selling. They get scared, like, I’d rather have 50 than nothing. It's like, dude, that's a 72-hour trade, 48-hour trade. Are you in it for the long haul? Are you in it for the short-term gain? Why are you locking? Because, again, keep in mind, everybody that's online say, “Money isn’t everything,” but every fucking thing they talk about an action they do is about money or lack of, everything. They're so unconfident. [13:04.8]
It's very interesting. They're very confident in their brain going into a deal, thinking everything is rainbows and unicorns, and then any inkling, any subtle hiccup, they fucking go berserk. This is where winners are made. They quit. By the way, when you say, “I want a refund,” first of all, it's not fucking happening because the refunds in partnerships don't happen, right? Please. I’ve never ever seen a partnership have a refund. Hey, man, if I wake up one day and I want a refund, that's how it would work. No, dude, we're investing. This is an investment. We're partnering, right?
What happens is, when you say that you're, you're triggering your quitting mentality. There's a reason most people don't have money. They're fucking consistently quitting on everything. See, a big lie. I always say you're either consistent or non-existent, and we’ve got to add an extra layer to that because consistency can breed confidence as long as you're consistent on the right things. [14:06.4]
For example, if you're working on your health and you're consistently at the fucking cheeseburger aisle or hanging out drinking beers with your buddy, you're consistently going to get the bad results, right? If you're consistently showing up, eating 2,400 calories a day on a time schedule, eating good food, not bad food and processed bullshit, showing up to the gym at least once a day, taking care of your mental health, taking care of your physical health, etc., do you think, if you're consistent with those actions, you're going to have a more confident, consistent result?
Folks, this is what I’m saying. People are consistently stopping. They consistently complain. They consistently talk about the same bullshit. They consistently never succeed. I’ve made tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, actually hundreds of thousands over the years, calls to people that want to invest and make money, people that want to sell property, people that want to buy property, people that want to sell business, people that are buying a business, people that have millions that they want to invest, people that don't have so many millions and they want to invest. One thing I’ve noticed is that people are consistently losing and they are okay with it. [15:18.1]
When I’m talking to them, here's what I mean. “Mark, I want to join your program.” This is when I used to sell, showing people how to make money in real estate because it's easy for me. I understand it, the psychological side of it. I understand why someone would sell a house at a discount, even in a hot market, stale market, not so. It just makes sense to me because I’ve been in the game for so long. But, again, people are consistently creating excuses, but I’ll talk to them and I’m like, Listen, have you ever bought a course or gone to a seminar?
Absolutely, Mark, I went to five of them.
Okay, so how many deals have you done?
I haven't done any deals yet.
Why not?
They don't work.
I stop and I say, Okay, I know many people who have been through all five of these companies you've just told me about that have succeeded on many different levels. What doesn’t work exactly? [16:06.4]
They're consistently looking for the magic pill. What they haven't had is a realization that they're really seeking confidence and putting their bullshit on other people. I can help you become more confident, by the way, if you're standing side by side with me and you're talking, negotiating a deal. That could give you a sense of confidence in having that conversation. It’s going to scare you maybe, but you'll have confidence because I’m going to be there to back you up if you start stumbling, right? I can step in and take over the conversation and close the deal out and move forward, right? So, confidence comes in many different forms, but why are so many people consistently looking for a reason to fail?
I always think about this, because the truth is, why I’ve got out of the education business on that side is I genuinely wake up wanting to help people become better financially, right, and in their business, period. It's one of my biggest joys in my life. [17:07.5]
At the end of the day, if you come to me and you've paid and made an investment in yourself and you ask for help, and I give you exactly what to do and you don't do it, that pisses me off because I’m telling you what to do. Not only do you get the results, but you also start building up your confidence muscle.
See, confidence is a muscle, right? We don't treat it as so, but like I said, a lot of people are very confident in losing, competent in failing. They're confident at it. It's almost like they wear it like a badge of honor. The guys I’m rolling with, not to say we don't get deterred, not to say we don't lose a little bit of confidence here and there in our step once in a while, but I always know, based on the way they look, what they say, how they move, what their team does and looks like, about their competence level. They don't have to tell me I can read it. Confidence is actually a very powerful force. [18:03.8]
That’s why I like doing these podcast shows. It gives me confidence when I go to speak to large audiences. Right now, as I’m speaking to you, I’m looking at my humidor. It says “DM” on it etched in glass and I imagine that as being the state where I’m standing on, sitting on stage or standing on stage, whatever, and I’m talking. I’m presenting a conversation. I’m striking up thoughts that I hope would inspire you to become better.
I’m going to piss you off because actually being off is not a bad thing if I’m guiding you down the right path. It's a great thing because sometimes you’ve got to be rattled. Sometimes you’ve got to be shaken up to stop dicking around and start getting focused.
See, confidence is little wins every day. I can wake up at 4:30 in the morning, win. I’m very confident of waking up. I don't need alarms to wake up. Very rarely will an alarm go off before I wake up. I’m up before the alarm. It's like I’ve programmed my body myself. My brain has this internal alarm clock. I very rarely ever want to get up, but I have this game I play with myself and it's this: [19:09.8]
Mark, it's 4:30 in the morning. You're going to get up at 5:30, let's say. You feel pretty good right now. How much better or worse will you feel at 5:30?
At 5:30, I’m going to be more anxious because I was up at 4:30. I should have stayed up. At 5:30. I’m going to feel like I’m an hour behind now, right, because I’m behind the eight ball because I’m typically up at 4:30 and I feel pretty damn good right now. So why not just get up?
Every day that I do that, my confidence rises, and when I fall off track, which everyone does—no one is a fucking hundred percent perfect—when I fall off track and sleep until 5:30, 6 o'clock, heaven forbid, 8:00 which I can't remember the last time it has happened, but let's say 8:00, I’m going to wake up and my body, my mind, everything, my confidence are very shaken, because I like to control my day. I like to control when I get up. I like to start the day off with control and control gives me confidence, because I can control that, the controllable. [20:06.8]
Guys, let's be honest, there's going to be a day I don't wake up. That's very serious to me. I talk about that all the time. I want to be confident when I’m alive. I want to make moves. When people come to me and they start to bullshit, I’m very confident in sticking up for my team. I’m very confident in stepping up and talking about the real issue. I have nothing to hide. I’m in the game very deep in life and in business. I’m confident in my conversation to you as I speak to the audience, right? I’m just there to share my message. I’m not there to make a friend of you, even though it'd be cool if it happens. My job is not to be friends. My job is to help. If a friend happens to come through this conversation, great. If not, it's no sweat off my back, right?
But I’m very confident in knowing that I’ve been where you're at. I’m very confident and, again, if you're in the trenches, you have no money and you feel like nothing is working, I can tell you this. Don't stop. This is where people feel like they want to stop. [21:11.0]
I wanted to stop two Thursdays ago. I literally was crying. I have a lot of companies. I have a lot of cool things happening, but a lot of pressure is happening. I talked to a person today. She's awesome. She literally almost checked herself into the hospital because she was having a nervous breakdown. Her company is expanding so rapidly. It feels like it's out of control.
Folks, if it was always in control, that means you're not growing to the capabilities because you're trying to control the uncontrollable, i.e. growth, and when you do what you say you're going to do and your marketing and people are sharing their message to their audience, your business is going to grow bigger than you ever thought of. That's confidence. [21:54.0]
And who do you call when things get shitty? What do you do when things get bad to get back on track to become more confident? I’m talking when you walk into a room, I want your shoulders back. I want you to stand up tall and I want you to look at people in the eyes and shaking the hand like a fucking man. Yes, ladies, you need to shake hands like a man. We all do. I see a lot of people out here, fucking little dead fish handshakes. It's silly. That's a confidence thing. Own your shit. Be confident in you.
By the way, you create the confidence. Get around other competent people. I’m not saying cocky. I’m saying confident. A lot of people like to use this. “I’m not cocky.” I’m not saying you're cocky, dude, but I love fucking confidence. I love people that know their shit. I love people that can stick their neck on the line and shoot straight with you and know that they own that shit, because that's confidence at the highest level for me in business. I don't care about your problems. I want to hear the solutions. That's confidence. [22:59.0]
See, the thing is, a lot of times, people are too pussyfooting around about how to deliver something to their team. You know what I say? Say the fucking message and be real and authentic. That makes me confident. I’m not there for your feelings. That's on you. I’m not there to make you hurt or happy. I’m there to have a conversation with you. How you interpret that is on you. How can I be confident walking around worrying about what every fucking person thinks about it? Share your shit. Talk. Be genuine.
The more genuine I become, the more confident I become. I'm not playing multiple split personalities in life, like, Oh, I have a lot of people working with me, a lot of great people. I’m very, very honored to have the people I get to work with every single day. A lot of them I very rarely talk to, if ever, but I do get to connect with them through the directors, the marketing directors, etc., business people, the other team members that are working with them.
I know what's going on because I pay attention and I’m very confident in my team. I would fight for these fuckers because I care about every single one of them equally. Some people are new on the team. If you're on the team, I’m in. That means you've passed the filtering. [24:09.8]
But back in the day, pre-2005 before I started traveling around the world with my wife, my girlfriend then and now my wife, I literally was living multiple personalities. It's a true story. I’d literally walk into the office. I’d wear something nice. I’d have two or three pairs of clothes in the car, different changes of clothes. I’d have my work clothes, my workout clothes, and my nice super $100 JCPenny suit clothes, true story, and depending on where I was going, I would change. Depending on where I was going, I might even change my car that I’m driving to get there.
Then one day I just said, “What the fuck is this about? Why do I have to change because you're worried about what the fuck I’m driving or you're worried about the way I look when I show up to work?” and I started thinking about this. I threw my Kangol on—I wore pink way before it was cool for a guy to wear pink—and I said, “This is who I am. I'm in my flip-flops on a construction job site. I have hundreds of people on projects with me all over. I’m driving a Chevy 2500 4-by-4, back in the day, and people are like, Who the hell is this guy? [25:16.8]
But what happened was that it bred confidence? My team became more confident. We became more productive. We became more profitable, because confidence breeds confidence. We were doing okay, but I personally wasn't doing okay because I felt like I was trying to be someone I wasn't and that's what was happening. I’m like, Okay, I’m going over to this place and I’ve got to change my outfit.
Dude, I used to go to Hyde Park, dressed up in a $100 JCPenny suit, thinking I was a big King Ding-a-ling, just trying to learn, just sitting and listening at the bar by myself for hours and hours on end. Once I started changing, I started walking in. Everyone was dressed up. I didn't realize a lot of these people were employees, right? I’m a business owner and their employees. Then the business owners, I always started noticing they dressed a little bit differently. More importantly, they dressed how the fuck they wanted to dress and I started liking that. [26:08.2]
Then I started showing up in my flip flops and shorts. Actually, I wore closed shoes back then, too, because I was on projects. I didn't want to get my feet all messed up. I’d be in there hanging out, pink long-sleeve shirt, Kangol, nice khaki shorts or white shorts, and a nice slip-on shoes, and it's interesting. I was more confident in that uniform, if you will, and people would come to me and talk to me because I looked different. I wasn't afraid to stand out. Why? Because I was confident in me.
Confidence breeds confidence. Your family will breed it. You're going to start, and if they don't like it, they're going to filter themselves out just as easily. Why do I want to be the guy hanging out with a bunch of unconfident people? I have team members that I actually gain confidence from them all the time. They're looking at me for confidence in certain things and I’m looking at them for confidence. [27:05.6]
This is the beautiful thing about confidence. If I’m confident, it doesn't mean you can be less confident. With confidence, we all can be more confident. I’m unconfident, and a lot of times, I don't like certain situations, but focus on the controllables. How do I get confident in the moment? How do I get confident through the process to get to that moment?
Before you know it, you get up on the stage and you share your real message. Before you know it, you go to that meeting that you've been putting off and you finally step up and you make it happen. You hire that person. You lead your team with confidence and dark moments and your team gains confidence with you. You get more confident. They get more confident, and then we get more results, because, folks, people like me and you that want results, that's why you're here, because you're looking for solutions. You're very solution-driven. Sometimes the problem is, again, a lot of people are consistently solving small problems. [28:02.0]
My job, the higher I get up in the game of life, the bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunities to solve it, because a lot of people quit before they even get to that laddering. They think, Oh, man, I just can't do it anymore. I’ve just got to throw in the towel. Dude, it's a weak move. But I always thought, too, when I’d hang out and I go to all these places, me and my wife, and I’m thinking, Man, this guy is very confident clearly. He doesn't look confident, by the way. Confidence comes in all shapes and sizes, right, and different looks, everyone. But confidence, it's an energy, if you will. It's an energy. I’m confident in my lane. I’m confident knowing what I know.
This is one thing I realized. I became confident telling people that I don't know the answer. Sounds crazy, right? Because I didn't have to front and act as if, i.e. lie, that I knew the answer. When I started hiring my team at the new levels as I started getting bigger, the teams, I should say, the infrastructure and team structure started getting bigger, I literally just told people like, Yo, I need your help. I don't know how to do this part. I heard you're the best and that's why I want to hire you to make us the best. [29:15.5]
See, a lot of times, most people, what I realized is they'd never got talked to like that from their employers [who would instead say], Based off your résumé, Steve, this is what I think we need to do. Dude, I was just genuinely raw and real. I was confident in telling them, I don't know what the hell I’m doing right now, but I need your help.
I realized that I can gain confidence by asking for help. I’m not talking askhole stuff, asking just because you're asking, but I’m talking when my CFO, when I have bookkeepers and accountants, I genuinely [ask]. Her name is Katie, she's awesome, and there’s Stephanie. I have a lot of different bookkeepers and accountants and CFO stuff. But when I’m going to them, I’m like, I need your help. I see all the numbers. I’ve read many P&Ls. I know what they kind of say, but there are different things. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed. Sometimes I get busy. Sometimes I’m not paying attention. So, I lean on them just like they would lean on me for vision and direction possibly, right? [30:13.8]
I’m leaning on them for their core abilities, their confident abilities, and when I do so, it helps everybody. We all win, because what I’ve found out is that a lot of people, pretty much everyone I know, genuinely loves to help other people. Everyone I’m rolling with loves to help other people. Sometimes to their demise, right? That's how I grew up. I saw a lot of great people not taking care of themselves, but helping everyone else around them.
But I digress. I believe, when I leaned on them, it opened up. I learned this when I was about 25 years old, by the way, because I used to hire people. I’d rent a nice office, a rental office place, Regus-like, and I’d have him come into the office and I’d play the big shot. I'd be all dressed up and I’d be like, You're hired, and I’d walk out, go to Roosters, get a couple of beers, act like I’m a King Ding-a-ling. Then I’m like, Shit, all right, we've got to get to work tomorrow. [31:12.0]
Then I meet them the next day when their start date is or whatever and I look totally different. We're in a job site, and the way I talk, the way I look, everything is different and they look at me and they're like, What the fuck did I just do? Right? That's a true story, by the way.
Then I realized, dude, this is who I am. I was never really confident in hiring people at a high level because I knew I was fronting, right? Because I thought that's how success looked. I thought you would never take me seriously because I was young, and if I didn't have an office and it wasn't nice and I didn't look decent, you wouldn't take the job.
But the truth is a lot of people never did take the job with me. A lot of people were like, Dude, this just doesn't feel right because my confidence or mojo was off or something clearly. But when I started showing up dressed the way I told you I dressed and told people, like, Yo, I need your help. I’m a business owner. We're growing like crazy. I have a lot of great people in the team. I’m looking for someone that specializes in blah-blah, project management or book management, whatever, and they'd buy in. They’d get excited because I’m sharing real, authentic shit with them. [32:19.6]
Before you knew it, the team was pumping on all cylinders. I was confident. The team was confident. There was no bickering. There was no like, Don't worry. Be careful, Nancy might get a little upset if you cuss around her, or don't say this or don't say that. Instead it was like, Dude, fuck you, this is how it's going down today, and they're like, No, fuck you, this is how it's going down, and we’d get excited because we're all passionate and we're all confident in our field. We’d lean on each other. We snowball. It gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
I just thought this was a very important message because I’ve talked to two very cool people today, specifically today, that are suffering from confidence issues. They're shooking. They're shook. “Shooking”? They're shook, right? Because they're off kilter a little bit. [33:10.5]
One, he's building this massive company. It's starting to grow a little bit bigger than normal and the profit margins are shrinking, because with growth oftentimes comes shrinkage of profit, net profits that is, and when that happens, you’d better be cool with the long haul, because, if not, you're going to get shook and it could rattle your cage.
Then you start creating doubt. Doubt starts creeping in and you start slowing down your cadence. You start overthinking. You start protecting instead of growing. You start literally creating fires where fires don't exist. Then, before you know it, you're either Donesville or you're in massive, massive chaos in your brain, misery at the highest level.
Then I talked to another gal. She's very upset. She did something very emotional. She's an emotionally-charged entrepreneur like I am and probably you are as well, just saying what she's saying and didn't put much thought into it. It just kind of backfired. Potentially, it could be a big deal. Actually, it is going to be a big deal. It's in the works as we speak. [34:12.4]
But as I’m talking to her, she's realized that and she's acknowledged it. By the way, acknowledging when you fuck up gives you confidence. I’m not saying go out, mess up, and acknowledge it, but when you really do it, not on purpose, and you acknowledge it and just say, Hey, man, that's my bad. I shouldn't have done that, but where are the lessons in this? you're going to gain confidence. It doesn't feel good, by the way. She's upset. She was crying. I'm sure it's crying a little bit here, frustrated with herself, asking herself, Why did I do this? What was I thinking?
These are all questions that you don't need to be asking. These are things that happen. These are things that happen with scale. These are things that happen with emotionally-charged entrepreneurs and people pushing the limits every day. But her heart is in the right place. Her vision is getting bigger every day and things like this are going to happen. But who do you call? Who do you connect with when you're shook? Because I truly believe this is one of the biggest things. [35:07.0]
By the way, athletes have coaches. Businesspeople have coaches. Everyone I know has coaches for moments like this. They will happen. The question is, what do you do when it happens? How do you act or react? How do you gain confidence in the process? If you ever hear me talk about trusting the process, fall in love with the process, that to me gives me confidence in growth, because most people are so focused on the end result that they forget to take care of the process.
The process is what's going to get you the end result anyway. Not to say you shouldn't look at what you want at the end or actually what I like to call checkpoint through the destination. Destination is death, by the way, but that's the end, right? That's when it all comes together. But, for me, for the legacy and the growth and a confidence factor, I’m putting these pieces in place. I’m putting people on my team that I could call upon that I can support. [36:01.3]
By the way, I love to support my team. If there's a charity thing going on, recently, one of our partners was raising some money for their kid to get homecoming king and all this stuff, some cool things. The company pitched in money. It was cool to see the team pitching in money. We care. I’m confident to tell people. When someone comes at me about our team, I will literally fight tooth and nail for our team because I know where they're at. I’m confident in where their heart is at, where their vision is at and what drives them. My team is not driven by money. I’m not driven by money. They want it just like I want it, but that's not what drives us. What drives us is helping people succeed.
It gives me confidence when I get that call from you and you say, Mark, I started working with you 18 months ago and now I’m generating an extra $7,000 a month on average. This is epic, life-changing. We could even take it to a different level.
Mark, I learned about this through you, through a YouTube presentation you did. I’m making an extra $300 a month. It pays for my car payment. Thank you. [37:04.4]
This is amazing. I don't care how big or small. I just care about seeing people knowledge up, execute, and get results, and it's really cool when they share the results with me as well. But it's not needed because I know that the more content I put out, the more information I share with you, the more opportunity I have to help you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but trust me, don't fucking listen to my words. Pay attention to my actions. They're much more powerful than words.
As you know, most people out here talk shit every day. I’ve made a commitment. Commitment gives me confidence to show up and share with you weekly. I do these shows because I gain confidence. I gain. I start finding my words. I get better. I've done thousands of podcast shows, thousands of webinars, thousands of tele-calls over the years, I haven't learned a 10th of where I’m going. [38:00.6]
I want to hit the notes higher. I want to hit them harder. I want to connect with you deeper, and every day I’m working towards that, it gives me confidence knowing that I’m working towards a better me to help become to help better you, and that's the truth. I can tell you that my team can vouch for that because I want to see them better. I want to see them in the grind. Not just better in the company, but better human beings. They're reading books. They're knowledging up just like I am every day. They're in the trenches. We're all in the trenches. We're connecting. We're growing and we're driving.
The thing is I want you to be the most confident motherfucker out there. I want you crushing life at the highest level, and wherever you're at, you're only at a microchip of where you could be, a micro percentage. Life is so abundant. We are so light years ahead and beyond where we're about to be. I trust that you'll take this information, implement it, write a book, start a podcast show, get out there and do it. Just get out there and start the one-to-many concept. Connect. Tell people what's up. Let them know. Be thankful. Be grateful and just drive. Drive. Drive with confidence. [39:14.5]
Before you know it, your confidence is breeding more confidence. You're going to pay attention to people around you with their head up a little higher, their eyes looking right at your eyes, your shoulders back and walking with a walk that is almost as if they're on clouds because they own their motherfucking space—and that's what I want for you because that makes me excited. That gives me confidence, knowing when I’m rolling with a lot of confident people, we're all confident. Not cocky. Confident in where we're at and where we're going.
If I’m starting to falter a little bit on where we're going because things are starting to get a little murky, starting to get a little foggy, I need you confident fuckers around me to make me more confident, so I can get out of my own way and see a bigger picture. [39:59.2]
Just like when you're going up in a plane, you hit the clouds, you kind of can't see anything, you’ve got to trust what's in front of you through your confidence of training over and over and over through the instruments that you've learned, and then, boom, it's peaceful. Above the clouds. Everything is crystal clear and now we're off to the races, to the destination, to the checkpoint in the moment.
I trust that you will take this, like I said, and run hard with it. Keep me posted. Share this if it helps you. Give me a heads up. Give me a high five, a virtual high five that is. Let me know that the show made an impact in your day, in your life. If it did, I appreciate that.
Thank you, guys and gals. Let's go kick some ass. With that said, make today count. Peace. [40:42.2]
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