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Show highlights include:

  • Why How to removinge society’s masks to reveals your true purpose (2:45)
  • How the external world programs us (and how to recognize this “fake truth”) (6:00)
  • The “fFake it till you make iIt” technique that can lead you to a life of disaster (6:50)
  • The “Highlight-Reel” comparison that leaves you inauthentic (9:30)
  • How to recognize God’s path so that your life flows naturally (10:25)
  • The world’s definition of “Success” and why this is a formula for an unfulfilled life (11:00)
  • Why striving for the world’s definition of “Success” leaves you miserable and unfulfilled (11:00)
  • What true prosperity is and how to achieve it (12:30)
  • How to have it all and maintain your relationship with your soul (13:25)
  • How to communicate with God so that he doesn’t turn you away (15:35)

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up here: https://jillallencoaching.com/just-breathe-sisterhood/

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://jillallencoaching.com/be-fit-and-fierce/ and become unstoppable with us.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen, and this is Find Your Fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock an unstoppable mindset, build unbreakable courage, and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week, I will bring ideas, methods, and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce, and unstoppable.

(00:34): Hey there, gang, Welcome to Find your Fears. So glad that you are here with me as we dive into a brand new episode. As always, I'm super excited about these next few minutes of our day, but even more so because we have a special guest with us and she always brings the fire that you are needing to break through, become inspired, or maybe a little straight talk followed up with love that will kick you into action. But before we go any further today, I have to ask, are you needing a speaker for an upcoming event or conference? If so, I am your person. I would love to bring the fine, your fierce message to your next function to book your event. Message me at jill jill allen coaching.com. And I love that you are here listening in and spending time with us. So honored that we get to be a part of your day. You're just also amazing, and I thank you for your love and support and so I appreciate your feedback, your reviews, and I love that you share this podcast and the set for your message with your friends and family. So if you could keep on doing that, that would be incredible because you are helping this movement as it helps reach more women and it impacts more lives, and that is certainly what life is all about. So thank you again. Okay. So my friend Liz is back.

(01:34): Hey. Oh, well, lot has been happening in her world of late and I'll, good and exciting things. I just love, uh, her perspective on life. So excited that she is with us. Liz, welcome back my friend. How are you? I'm doing awesome. Thank you so much for having me. I love being here. This is gonna be good. Well, we were kind of brainstorming about what we could chat about. I know we usually don't have a problem talking. We had a plan for one thing and then like this morning, just something popped into my heart that I thought maybe we can kind of dive into a little bit. And it was about self image and what we portray and what we put out into the world and, and how we're walking in truth. Yeah. Well, and sometimes not truth. Sometimes we're walking in a bunch of lies as well, but just that, that battle that we wrestle with day in, day out, what do you have on that? Well,

(02:26): When you were saying, you know, talking about truth and sometimes we're not walking in truth and we're walking in lies and stuff like that. I think personally, I feel like a huge part of, like a starting point is I just kept hearing the term your truth. So even when you're walking in lies, it's actually acknowledging your truth. Like, I'm gonna acknowledge that this is where I'm at and what I, what I'm thinking. Like this is, this is what I'm believing about myself. And it has to start there. We have to get honest and real about where we're at so that we can then, Well, I always look at it from a faith perspective, being honest with the Lord about where I'm at, what I'm believing, how I feel, so that I can then weigh it against what the word says and what he says. So just having honest conversations with the Lord about where I'm at, and then it opens the door in this opportunity for him to reveal the real truth.

(03:15): So there's my truth, , but my truth isn't always the truth and it doesn't always line up with the truth. Um, but I, we don't even acknowledge that our truth isn't the truth or we don't recognize that until we acknowledge what our quote unquote our truth is. So that was just one thing I thought of. It just starts there, it starts there, get really real with the Lord, get really real in your prayer time and you're talking with him and then, you know, taking time to listen and let him speak the truth in, into you, but also wait against the word, what is the word say? Most of the time our truth does not line up with what the word says the truth is. But again, if we're not honest about where we're at, I don't think we can really fully receive the truth because we've not gotten the junk of our truth out. Does that make sense?

(04:02): Yes, it makes complete sense because I think the thing of it is, is we're all walking around and with me, me, me and, and how I feel and what I think and what my belief is and what, you know, I, how I wanna show up without aligning it mm-hmm. with, there's a confusion. We skip apart, we're walking around and when I say we the world Yeah. The world's walking around with their truth, you know, be, do, do you, it's all about you accept me for who I am, all that good stuff, but we're not aligning it. That's the missing piece. We're not aligning that Right. With the ultimate truth and allowing him to speak that into us.

(04:44): Into that. Yeah. And what's beautiful about when we actually do is that's when we can begin to walk in all that he created us to be like, if you think about it, like, God, he created us and he made, He knows exactly what he put inside of us. He knows what he made us for. He knows who he made us to be and what he made us to do, but sometimes we're stuck. We never, we never walk in the full fullness of that. We never see the fullness of all that he made us to do and all that he made us to be because we're stuck in this place of my truth and not evaluating it against his truth and what he says, Using him as the standard. Yeah. And, and I think if we, if we can do that more, and I know it's a process. We're on a process, it's a life journey. It's a lifelong journey of constantly having relationship with the Lord. Like here, I'm here now, I'm honest about where I am here now, let him reveal to me the truth and lead me in truth. And so it's just a lifelong process, but I think that's when we begin to see us walking more fully in our potential too. So Wow.

(05:49): That Yeah. It's, it's pretty darn good, I think to, you know, the measuring like, it, it's hard. It's hard. It's so easy to just then fall back into what the world says. I mean, it's hard to align our truth up with him because of the noise, the distractions Yeah. Watching for telling us how we should behave. I mean, you, you, you turn on social media. I mean, what we should be watching, you know, all number one hits out there, you know, how we should look, how we should talk, what we should be reading all, I mean, all that stuff is out there. So of course there's this utter confusion mm-hmm. Yeah. And battle that we go through because the majority of what we see and what we have in right in front of us is not necessarily his word. I mean, and again Right. We can change that Yeah. You know, and alter what we listen to or what we see and what we watch and, and what we put in front of our eyes, but at the same time we're in this world.

(06:49): Yeah. And to be part of it. Um, another term I just keep thinking of is like the fake it till you make it. I'm sure everybody has heard that. I know I have, especially when it came to like being in sales and you know, like, I don't know what I'm doing. They say fake it until you make it, you know, like pretend like you do until you get there. And I think so many times we can take that approach in our own life too. We hear the things that we should do or say or think or believe or how we should feel and all that. And we live life trying to fake it until we make it. But then we've lost the authentic, the authentic piece, the authenticity. Whereas if we get again, real with ourselves and real with God, he can begin to transform that. And then we're no longer faking it till we make it. We actually become, what is the saying is become what you behold as we are honest about where we're at and we behold him. You know, like we, we fix our, we lay out before where we're at and our truth, and then we fix our eyes on him and his truth. We then begin to become what we are holding so we're no longer faking it till we make it. This is our real authentic true self As we're you mean, molded and transformed. Exactly.

(07:54): It's crazy when you mentioned the word authentic. I was at the church women's group last week, and we had these questions that we had to answer and uh, we drew quadrants on the piece of paper and, uh, everybody was asked the question, and then we all responded on that piece of paper, no one knowing what anybody else was saying. And one of the questions was, What is it that you want to get out of this group or church or, um, you know, this, uh, time together. And every single person wrote down connection, truth, and authentic relationships. And it was so, I mean, just to know that I think there were eight women at the table Yeah. You know, of how much we're needing that realness, that authentic piece of it. And so that just tells you how many people are walking around, you know, projecting an image pro, you know, projecting that everything is all, you know, great. And, and, and we're struggling wrestling in our closet or a battle within our mind of every single moment. Yeah. I don't know, I just think that speaks volumes of what people are looking for in needing and, and we're all doing the same thing. Yeah. Like these lost souls, you know? Yeah. Trying to pretend to be something that maybe we're not Yeah.

(09:19): Are trying to take it till we make it. And that's Exactly, So We feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's so cool. Cool. I agree. I think that we're kind of in a generation of starving for authenticity. Mm-hmm. just the real, because then we start to think, we see what somebody else is projecting, and we're like, Oh, man, I'm not, internally, we have these mind games of I'm not there, I'm not as good as them, so there must be something wrong with me when the reality is they're probably wrestling with the same thing. Yeah. You know, like everybody's, we're trying to, we're competing and comparing each other to each other's, um, what highlight reality.

(09:50): And, and, but we're all like thinking and feeling the same thing. Not does that mean like you're just constantly airing your dirty laundry? No, not at all. It's just, there's a, there's a fine line between that and then just being authentic with yourself. Mm-hmm. , maybe with your close circle on just the internal dialogue or struggle or like, Man, I'm really questioning this, or I'm wrestling with this, or, I really feel like this right now. Is it truth or is it not truth? I don't know, but this is, this is really how it is. And then, and then creating space for that to be transformed and for him to change how we feel, honestly. Yeah.

(10:25): I think that's what needs to be aligned because then everything else flows Yeah. From that place and the way that we show up. And so, you know, naturally that would be authentic if, you know, if we're lined up with his word and what he says about us, and you know, what our next steps should be, and, and, and he guides us. I mean, everything then will flow from that. And ultimately you will be showing up the way that he creates you. Yes. So, yeah. Yeah. You really become that. That's good. So what kind of things do you think that we can do to help someone that's wrestling with I I just think back, like of where I was even like, gosh, five, six years ago, where I was projecting that I have it all, you know? And I ultimately, I, I mean I do. I mean, like I, that's where my heart is. I feel that I have it all, even on my bad days, life is good, but when you have that striving and that pushing and you know, you're chasing, you know, whatever that dream is or what, uh, the world describes as success. Yeah. You know, we had the family and, uh, you know, great marriage and a home and career, all that good stuff, but yet in my heart I was drowning, but still showing up in the world. Yeah.

(11:38): Yeah. Like, man, you know, this is great. And, and that's, I felt like almost, I, I, I don't wanna say fake, I felt well hypocritical or that there was that hypocrisy and of, um, not that, that I wasn't like having genuine Yeah. Relationships and pieces like that, but my heart was Dying a little bit. Yep. That was, that was off. And I think there's so many out there that their life is great. Mm-hmm. , when you look at it and you put it down on paper, you can have a gratitude journal, you can write everything down. Yeah. But if there's that missing piece, Yeah. I don't know. Um, Well, that reminds me, there's the scripture that's been playing over and over in my head the last couple weeks. What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? That's like a perfect picture of that. Like, we can have everything exterior and on the exterior and it looked just right. And, you know, we've got a family and the kids and the house and the career and all the things, but inside we're dying. And I think it's in the New Testament, I wanna say Paul, but I could be wrong on that. Talks about, like he says, I want that you would prosper even as your soul prosperous. So the Bible actually talks about like prosperity of soul, in other words, being healthy and so healthy internally that your internal world would be healthy. And then naturally everything from the outside will follow from that.

(13:02): And I think it's easy to do, and we don't mean to, you know, I mean, and, and one thing I thought of when you were sharing, like, you know, had I had it all, and I, I, I thought I had it all and I did have it all, is I think that speaks a lot to your perspective. I mean, there is a gratitude, I mean a perspective of gratitude of like, it could be way worse. I could not have a house, I could not have a job, I could not have a loving husband. I could. So there's nothing wrong with living in a place of gratitude and seeing what we have as enough, or having it all. So I just wanted to say that too. Like, that's not a bad thing. It's, that's a good perspective to have. But then also remembering it's not about we, he, he never asked us to lose our own soul, our own internal world over portraying something on the outside and how much better is it to gain our soul, Like to, and, and honestly the soul is our relational piece of the Lord.

(13:53): You know, it's like, it's our mind, our will and our emotion. It's, it's, that's, it's just how we're, how we're relational with the Lord and being real and having authentic relationship with him and stuff like that. Um, as far as like action steps, my very first thought is get in the word, you know, like, see what the word says about who you are and, and the life that he says is possible and like how he thinks of you. I think a big starting point is just really getting a hold on who he says that we are, who he made us to be. And he says, you know, through the blood, we're redeemed and, and sanctified and, and all the things. And that's just a great starting piece. where his child Yeah. Or you're made for a purpose. I think that's something that so many are, you know, they're just going through the motions. Yeah.

(14:46): And they, their, their purpose is, is falling to the wayside or that we just settle maybe. Um, yeah, that was a huge piece for me that, you know, when you're living life for his purpose that he has created for you, it's like total, it's game changing. Like, you wake up differently. You, you show up differently. You, your heart is on fire for, you know, what he's calling you to do. I don't know, I just, I think that's something that so many are trying to figure out Yeah. As well. I mean, that's a whole other rabbit hole that we can go down. Yeah. But that's part of transforming is, you know, just changing your heart to where you do show up and your potential is lived. So. Yeah. Yep. It's so good. It Is. I don't know, do you have any other words of wisdom?

(15:31): I just encourage people, There's no, there's no shame. Be real with the Lord. He doesn't turn you away. He's longing for that space with you to be able to be really like real and authentic with him. He's not afraid of your struggles. He's not afraid of your mess. He's not afraid of how you're feeling on the inside or what you're wrestling with. And, and he would love to get down in there with you and the nitty gritty and work through, work out some of those things to transform our hearts and to transform our minds so that we really can show up as our authentic self just, and know the love of God there. I think sometimes we're afraid to do that, but scripture says that perfect love cast out fear. So if we know it, it's really getting to know and experience his perfect love for us, that even in that place, I'm afraid he doesn't turn you away. Um, and he just wants to love you there so that he can remove that fear, I guess. So that's my, I don't know, biggest word of advice is just get real with the Lord. And there's no shame. And no fear and Well,

(16:36): Considering the fact that he already knows anyway. Right. . So yeah. We're, we're lying to ourself or we're trying to pretend that it's not happening or going on or the way that, that we feel. So yeah. Get, I mean, what I took from everything and then it's just, it fires me up, is we have to become so self aware and spend that silent time first with getting to where our heart is. Yeah. And then pairing it up with what he says. What he says. Yeah. So good. It is. I, I can't thank you enough for being here. I love it. Thank you so much for having me. I love it too. . That's good. Guys, if you're wanting more fire in your day, there is so much for you to do. So you can follow me on Instagram, snag a copy of my book set free on Amazon. Join us in the Fit and Fierce or the Flip the Script, one on one nutrition and the next retreat 2023 destinations are drop in here soon. So stay tuned. Or if you're wanting to do your own road trip, you can hop in Arter Sprinter van that sleeps up to five and hit the open road. Be sure to go to jill allen coaching.com for all updates and join the Just Breathe Facebook group. We would love to connect with you. Heads up on the next episode. I think Liz is gonna be back and we're gonna continue our chats, so be sure to pop back in next week.

Thanks so much for joining us today, and I pray that we filled your heart with joy. If you could let us know before hopping off here today, that would be incredible. Subscribe, Share this episode link on your social media if you felt encouraged or inspired as we all know someone that can benefit. And I would love it if you would give some feedback and a review as well. Talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable. See ya.

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