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Show highlights include: 

  • Why life isn’t determined by the cards you’ve been dealt (no matter what you’ve experienced in the past). (2:19)
  • How to stop living life on repeat and find what makes you thrive. (4:25)
  • Using the Two Brothers tale to defeat addiction and break bad habits for good.  (7:14)
  • How to get over your biggest roadblocks in life with the ‘English Ivy’ approach. (12:00)
  • The Bible story that lets you face your problems and find solutions that make and keep you happy. (17:02)

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up here: https://befitandfierce.com/justbreath 

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://befitandfierce.com and become unstoppable with us. 

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:35): Welcome to find your fierce so glad that you are here. Today's chat. We are continuing a series called ignite the fire, and that is exactly what we're going to do here today. That flame inside of you, we're going to get that blazing so strong so that you are fired up to walk with purpose each and every day. But before we dive in, I pray that you will join our set free book club that begins in August. I know so many of you have snagged your copy and read the message of set free there on Amazon, but we're going to be doing the work and digging a little deeper in the book club, a six week journey, which is going to be absolutely amazing. So be sure to join us@jillallencoaching.com. If you feel led to be a part of the set free book club team, please reach out to me personally, I would love to hear from you and would love to lock arms so we can reach and impact more women in our lives.

(01:25): So that's pretty good. All right. So we're talking about the fire that we have within. I know that it is so needed taking that time to reflect and to drown out the chaos and everything that our day throws at us. And so we need to be intentional and be able to carve out that time so that we can slow down to speed up and, you know, whatever level God is taking us to, we need to be able to have that time. So we can do that. And I know we talked a little bit about playing it safe and the potential that God gave you and how so much of that potential has gone untapped. And I know last week we touched on your uniqueness and your identity and who you truly are. And this week it's all about strongholds and the stuff that has been holding you back from all that it is that you are being called to do and become.

(02:14): So I'm pretty excited. So I got to ask you, what stronghold do you have? What runs in your family? What has been passed down? What habits, beliefs, what dysfunction has been carried down through the generations, through your family and is now your normal. Like you don't know any different, like that's just the way that it's always been guys. That is how the enemy grabs a hold and works in our lives, works in our family's life. And he comes in with this stronghold disbelief and it convinces everyone else. Everyone within that belief system, that is just their lot in life. That it is what it is that has always been like this, right? It's the hand that you've been dealt. And so it's who they are, who they've always been and who they will always be. So they grab a hold of this concept, not realizing that's just the way the enemy is there to hold you back.

(03:14): And with that belief, what had a strong hold on one now has a strong hold on, everyone around you, because they believe that that is what is to be normal. Right? Remember last week we already talked about, and we uncovered the truth on that. You know, we are not our past, we are not our parents. We're not our grandparents, right? We, our kids are not us or what has happened to us or what lies others have spoken over us guys. These are strongholds. It's a stronghold. It's like, it's a place of strength, but it's not of good strength. And that's where that enemy, that's where the doubt, that's where the evil hangs out and it sits. And it's like entrenched right there. It's like the enemy likes to build off of that makes us question, makes us doubt everything. And it takes that strong hold and it uses us.

(04:09): It uses us. It's like hook, line, and sinker is like, we take that bait and it reminds us of whatever it is that is not of God. And it uses it to hold us back. Right? So here's the good news. Here is the ultimate best news ever. We have the ability and the power to squash and demolish all these strongholds. So is there a strong hold in your life, something holding you back, something that has power over you, keeping you from stepping into the life that you have been created for. And here's the tough part. Will you call it out? Will you name it? Okay. So I want you to look back. Maybe it's been running in your family for a long time. Maybe it's been passed down for generations. And by that time it came to you, right? It's just been kind of normalized.

(04:59): It's just an accepted part of life. And I know in our just sisterhood, we are doing this 31 day prayer on freedom and to grab a hold of that fact, that Jesus came to actually set the captives free, free of every single thing that has ever held us back. The strongholds will no longer hold us. That's the part about being free? Okay. So yes, it may run in your family until it ran into you. And so the question is, will it end with you? You're the one that's hearing this. You're the ones whose eyes are being opened right now. Your ears are open to listening. You're the one that's being chosen. You're on this podcast right now. You're the one that is being called to fight this battle. But here's the thing the battle has already been won. God has already declared victory for you.

(05:45): And so, but the thing of it is we have to fight. We have to fight for our marriages. We have to fight for relationships. We have to fight for our kids, our addictions. What about the anxiety and the depression and the anger, the bitterness, or what about the long to-do lists that we think that we have to check off because of all the beliefs we have to fight for our time fight for our destiny fight for our life, fight for the dysfunction guys. I know that I probably just painted an awesome picture for you and kind of like pulled and hit some trigger points. And it doesn't seem always so good. But until the day we decide to break that repetition, to break the cycle, to break the autopilot type of living that we're living in. It doesn't have to be that way. Think about everything that we don't want.

(06:33): The mission for us is to create the opposite of what that chaos is trying to destroy and what it is that we're choosing to live with. And I know it sounds like, well, it's not that simple, Joe, yet. It's guys, it's it's with a decision it's a daily choice to seek better for ourselves, seek better for our family. You know, the stronghold, once I started breaking strongholds, I now know exactly what thriving looks and feels like. And sometimes we're missing all of that because we're hanging on to the stronghold that has been holding us back for years. And I know I mentioned this like a while back, but, and we talked about it that you know, that the two sons with the alcoholic father one turned out alcoholic, I guess he was alcoholic and he was abusive and there were two sons and one son grew up and he was an alcoholic.

(07:24): He, he repeated the cycle, he just had dysfunction, you know, not very good relationships. He was also very abusive, homeless. I mean, it was just, he was just down on a different path, but the, the brother, the other son, thriving marriage, great relationships, how to relationship with the Lord. Non-alcoholic holds down a job, an amazing family as a father figure to his kids. And so the question is like, how did that, what happened? How did one stop the cycle? And one continued the cycle. Well, the one that decided to break the strongholds was the one that said, okay, it's not for me. It's not for my kids. It's not for our family. It's not for our home. And so it ended. So how does the strong hold end? How do you break? What has always continued before you are? What has always been, how do you sever the chains of a belief that you've always had?

(08:21): And guys, this is the great part, because to think that we actually have this divine power, that we can actually squash and demolish strongholds, and it only comes down only I say only, but it only comes down within our thoughts guys, when we think this is how it's always been for me, then that's, what's going to always continue. Oh, my mom was this way. My, my grandma was this way or my dad was this way and my grandpa and then his grandpa, it's always been like that. Right. And if we continue to do that, then guess what our kids and our future generations are going to think and, and believe and continue the same thing. So we need to be able to change our thoughts. Think about that, our thoughts, we need to get them in line or aligned with what God has been trying to tell us all along.

(09:12): Think about the things that are keeping us captive and the prisoner that we have become because of the lies that we tell ourselves. Guys, you don't have to be overweight because your mom and your grandma were, we don't have to have the anxiety and the depression and the overwhelm because we have a family history guys. When I think of family history, you know, when you guys go to the doctor's office and you have this long list of paperwork that you have to do to, to complete, and it's right on their family history, you're filling out physical forms for your kids, family history. And we're checking these boxes of diabetes and heart disease and depression. And you know, and it goes on and on and on arthritis. And you get, you get my point, but we check these boxes of like, yep, that's it. Imagine choosing a different path.

(10:03): Imagine if we can break the cycle, break the chains. If our grandma and great grandma and everybody in our family has an app, has a history of anxiety and depression. Does it have to be that way for you? If we're battling obesity? My question is, does it have to be that way for you, right? You don't have to be consumed by worry because that's all that you've ever been taught. You don't have to battle addiction because addiction has surrounded you in your family, in your circle, in your life. You don't have to live in this darkness just because other people did. And we talk about being illuminated. We talk about shining our light. We can turn that power on, right? We flip the switch. We can flip the script. We can say, okay, we're turning the light on right now. We don't have to live in the darkness anymore because we are chosen.

(11:03): We are loved. We have been forgiven. We have been set free. We have the ability to change. We've been created for amazing works. He can turn all of this, all of these strongholds. And here's the best part. You can turn all of these strongholds into the good, he can use it for the good, we don't have to play the victim anymore. We can choose to pivot and turn around and turn that light on. But we have to set our mind on these things. We have to make our thoughts aligned to what he says about us. And so we can actually pull those lies and those curses and those beliefs, we can pull them out of the ground roots and all, we can't just cut them down, whack them. I mean, they're going to continue to grow if we don't get to the root of the problem.

(11:53): Right? And so they have to end with what we tell ourselves. Okay? So here's the thing. We've all heard. Like we can't put new wine in old wine skin and things like that. But if we can become a new person because of our identity in Christ and change our ways guys, to think about this, the old life is gone. The old life has gone and a new life has begun. Repeat that with me guys. You are a new person. You can draw the line in the sand right now that old life has gone. And a new life has begun. The addiction done. It ends with you, the bad habits that the negative beliefs gone, it can end with you. The strongholds. They do not have to. When the dysfunction does not have to continue, the worry ends with you. The negative vicious cycles can end with you.

(12:50): The obesity that runs in your family can end with you. It can be torn down, but it happens right here with your thoughts. Our thoughts need to change. They need all the, all the negative and hateful and yucky thoughts need to be released. And so we can make space for all the good and when the good fills you up, right? There's no way there's no room. There's no possible way for the enemy to S you know, come back in and settle there and use those strongholds as the battleground, because you're inviting the love and every space, every corner, every secret, hidden spot with all the shame and the guilt and the regret. Guys, I don't want you to allow the enemy to steal any more of your power and your joy and your future. And with that, the guys, the strongholds can be broken. The old life can be gone, and a new life will begin.

(13:47): So I want you to think about strongholds as, I mean, let's be honest. Here is a major obstacle in our road, right? That has stopped us from all the progress, all the forward momentum. And if you let that sucker grow long enough, right? It's going to allow all these roadblocks, it's going to be, you know, it's just going to be all weedy. It's all going to be like, grown up. And it's going to take over, think about like the English, Ivy, you can never kill that. Right? You can't just trim the Ivy back. You have to rip out it out from the whole, like the entire ground. Okay. But when we let it grow and take over, it becomes so big and so overwhelming and so daunting. And it shuts us down guys where humans, I mean, as, as human nature, we tend to give up when it seems like it's so impossible to change or switch routes.

(14:37): Okay. So think about this. Are there people in your way, was the door shut? Was there some difficulty? Did it get too hard? Right? Were there boundaries, were there guidelines that you had to follow where you wrapped up in what others would think or say something's caused you to stop in addition to these strongholds? And it can be totally shut down right now, if you were given permission to do the things that seems so crazy, the calling on your life, the purpose that nudge that the Lord is calling you to step out into D you know, for you to do, would you say yes. Imagine if we can fix that for lack of a better word right now, your potential, your gifts, guys, you're meant to use them to tap into all that you've been given to make an impact. Isn't that who God's looking for.

(15:31): He's looking for you. He's, he's looking for people who are willing to overcome. And I mean, overcome everything. Even if the odds are stacked against you guys, he's looking for people who's going to lead the way instead of like, stand in a line, get in line and wait for something that they don't even know that we're waiting for. Have you ever done that? You're like, oh, what am I in line for? And you're just following the people. Okay. Just because that's the way that it's always been done or has been because we have to break these strongholds. We have to break the routine and the habits we have to divert, we have to make an exit. We have to pivot everything that is standing in your way of your purpose. Are you willing, right? Are you willing to overcome? Because here's the thing. You're not a victim.

(16:14): We have to tear the strong holes from the root knocked down the walls. We need to get back up. And if you fail, get back up again, we have to stop getting discouraged. We need to actually toughen up, right. And step into the light that you're being called to live, because it's not going to be easy facing these strongholds. There's going to be pain. There's probably going to be some tears. There's going to be like, oh, some like yucky feeling like, oh, I don't want to go there because it's uncomfortable, but we have to do something different. We have to change our thoughts, change our routine, rewire our beliefs, choose a different path. And that's what it's going to take. It's not instant success. It's not a quick fix. It's going to take some work. And we have to be willing to climb the wall, get over the roadblock, or we're going to continue to stay stuck and held back.

(16:59): So I was listening to this story on one of my runs and it's so it's too good not to share this and pass this along to you. But it was basically sharing the power of what happens when people drop excuses and overcome these limitations. And there was a story in Matthew, mark, and Luke, and of these men who were so desperate to have their friend get to Jesus, right. And to show them, to show him the way. And so think about this one, you got to have friends like that, that are willing to wake you up and do everything and fight for you and be there for you instead of hopping in on your pity parties. Okay. And I hope that you guys look at me like that. I w I would love to be your wake-up call moment to help lead you to what God can do in your life, what he has already done.

(17:50): And so I get really excited about this, but these guys, they had their friend who was paralyzed and they put him, they knew Jesus was going to be in town. They put them on a bed and they're like, okay, we're going to take you to him. And that's what we're going to do. He, they had so much belief. Okay. And so I, I imagined this and it's like, okay. Their strongholds had to have been broken, right. These men who were willing to do everything, to do the crazy, to put their friend who was paralyzed in a bed and drag him, walk him into the town, into the city to go find Jesus, think about there is no way that they had strongholds. That would hold them back because it sounds crazy. It sounds ridiculous. And so that's what, that's what they did. They loaded them up on the bed and they walked into the town and there were people everywhere.

(18:37): They could not get into the door. They couldn't even get close to Jesus. Okay. And so it, it, what they tried, it didn't work. So I want you to think about the problems that you may have had in your life, the things that you were going through when maybe a door shuts in your face, the crowds big and everything that you actually see, it's like, there's no other option. There's no other options. Like you were desperate. There have been times in my life where it's like, okay, what I'm doing is not working me, trying to control my way through. This is not working. I can plan out everything in my day in my life. And it's not working. Doors are being shut. Arrows are being fired and you're getting hit. And there's no other way. But here's the thing. This is what these guys did.

(19:28): They look up. And when they looked up, right, they saw this wall that they could climb. And they knew that Jesus was inside that home. And so he was clear. They said, we're going to climb. We're going to climb the wall. So here they are climbing the wall and they tore the roof down. They tore the roof down. They tore a hole in this. They lowered the bed into the home and had their friend right there with Jesus. Now think about this guys. Are we willing to do that? Are we willing to face all our problems? Are we willing to not be a victim anymore? Are we willing to climb the walls? Are we willing to break free? Here's the thing, guys. They would not have been able to climb these walls. If they were chained down with the strongholds that would have held them back, that would have kept them a prisoner.

(20:24): Are you able, that's a question I got to ask you. Are you able to climb these walls that we've probably built ourselves? Think about this. We've probably built our own prison. Every brick is a lie that represents a lie or a belief or something that has been passed down from generation to generation. Our thoughts one at a time, we just kept building this. I hate to say that it was probably self-induced that we've built this prison cell around us, but yet, if we looked up, we can just be released. We can be free. There's a different way. Are you willing to climb the wall? Are you willing to tear down that wall? Are you willing to dig a hole in the roof, rip the roof off?

(21:19): Are you willing to overcome our excuses and stop caring so much about what others think or say? Are you willing to seek God no matter what it takes to the point where you're willing to do crazy, ridiculous, amazing things that he's calling us to do. Are you willing to give yourself permission? That's the biggest thing, guys, are you willing to do whatever it takes to get through the pain, to go through the uncomfortable? Are you willing to show up? It's going to cost you, but it's also going to cost you if you don't. So I encourage you to weigh those options. What are you waiting for? We get one life and God is calling you to do something special and calling you to do something with it. And the fact that we don't have time to waste or looking for an easy way out guys, the paths are opening up.

(22:20): The passer being cleared. The doors are being opened. We have the ability and the strength and the power to climb the walls and tear the roof down. Give yourself permission to take that step, give yourself permission to do something different. These are the questions I want you guys to reflect on this week. I hope that you guys are journaling. All this stuff. I know I sometimes get fired up, but I get excited about things when, when the fire is blazing and I want that fire to be so strong in your life. Okay. So what strongholds do you have? Are you willing to sever the ties? Are you willing to dig them out by the root? Are you willing to overcome the obstacles, tear down the walls? Are you willing to choose a different path and look up to actually give him a try? And what do you need to give yourself permission to do?

(23:12): What will it cost you? And more importantly, what will it cost you? If you don't take that first step I'm fired up guys. I hope you absolutely love this reminder. My book set free. It's on Amazon. Go check that out and join us in a set free book club. As we walk through that journey together, go to Joel Allen, coaching.com or the just breed Facebook group, and also save the date of September 18th. It's the next gathering it's called the wilderness. And you do not want to miss it. It's going to be exactly what you are needing in your life at that exact perfect. So heads up on the next episode, we're going to continue the ignite your

(23:48): Fire series. So be sure to come back and check that out. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk to you the next time. [inaudible] the Unstoppables.

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