Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How imagining your entire family in a car on a road trip helps you build stronger bonds with every person in your family (even if you never go on a road trip together) (4:42) 
  • Why you should take your family on a vacation this summer — especially if everyone in your family is constantly busy (5:49) 
  • The case for being unapologetically selfish when it comes to how your family spends its time together (7:50) 
  • Why your faith always takes the backburner in your life’s priorities (and the quick paradigm shift that instantly puts your faith before every over responsibility) (9:06) 

If you’d like a sneak peek at my soon-to-be-released book, Set Free: A Woman’s Guide to Clarity, Freedom, & God’s Endless Love, you can download the first 5 pages here: jillallencoaching.com

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up, click on the just breathe link at jillallencoaching.com

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to the Fit & Fierce link at jillallencoaching.com and become unstoppable with us. 

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:36): Welcome to find your fierce. Love that you are with us once again, or if this is your first time joining us, I welcome you either way. We're just glad that you are here today. And before diving in, I always have to thank you for your love and support. Appreciate all your feedback, your reviews. And I love that you share this podcast with your friends and your family. And if you can keep on doing that, it helps reach more women and it impacts more lives, and it's certainly a team effort. So thank you so very much for all that you do, and for who you are. And for listening in each week, we are actually continuing to dive into the upcoming release of set free, and I cannot wait as may, is quickly approaching. And I want to make sure that you are able to grab that sneak peek of my book@joellencoaching.com.

(01:21): And I have to say today's episode, I'm pretty excited. It's going to make a lot of people think about how we spend our time, our days, our weekends, and our summer months. And it may just inspire many of you to take off and travel. Here's the thing, an opportunity came up for my daughter's basketball team this summer, and it took me back to a few summers ago, and I wanted to share this with you, but here's the thing. There's, there's this team camp in July. And we had a decision to make a decision as to whether Harper would join the team and, and joined them. And now here's the thing. It would be so much fun. It would have so much value. The coaches are absolutely amazing. The players are so good. Just great group, great group of girls, but we have claimed July to be our family time.

(02:07): And it is a non-negotiable. And I have to say it wasn't always like that. We used to have the mindset that we would do whatever it takes so that our kids would not miss out on anything. And I know that sounds pretty awesome on the surface, but for our family, I felt we were the ones missing out on things that we didn't even realize that we were missing out on. If that makes any sense. So long story short Harper is not joining the team in July, and she's okay with it. The coaches respect our decision and there's no guilt on our end. So it's a win-win for everyone. But I want to explain, I wrote a blog a few years back titled, always take the trip. And when I wrote it, I was trying to comprehend how it was even possible that our kids were entering third, fifth, seventh, ninth, and 11th grade, and how crazy it was and how fast our kids were growing up that another school year that had passed.

(03:01): And it was just, it was time to think about our summer trip and to kind of catch you up to speed. Our kids are now a freshman in college, a junior and freshmen in high school, a seventh grader. And our baby is in fifth grade, her last year in elementary school, which is actually our last year too. And it's crazy and bittersweet because we have had kids in the elementary school for the past 13 years. And so I can honestly say that time does fly by, and this is why I want to share this message of how, of how selfish I was. And I was grasping for more time. I still am. If I'm being completely honest for the reason that reality was sinking in. And I was stressing out that we had just a few summers left with all five kids under one roof as the entire Allan gang was home.

(03:48): And we had two summers guys too, and that was it. Before oldest graduated to spread his wings. And as always another school year flew by. And it, it was just so hard to comprehend. It just couldn't be, there was just too much that I still wanted to do with our kids and our family. And it felt that time was all too quickly slipping away. And I was thinking about all the places we wanted to see the places we wanted to explore and all the things that we wanted to do, because showing them what was possible, showing them what is possible, showing them the world and all that. There is out there experiencing and creating moments with them was everything to me. And it still is. And most importantly, I wanted that time with them. I wanted to be able to spend those precious moments with them and create those memories.

(04:35): That last a lifetime life is way too short. And I know several years ago when I got super excited, I started mapping out like this road trip, right. And I, and I was envisioning like the Allens and, and our entire family, all seven of us crammed in a car for two weeks. And I want you to picture that. I want you to not just picture our family you know, in a car, I want a picture. I want you to picture your family in a car. It sounds fun, right? Where should we go? What should we do? Thinking of all the destinations that were a must. And so we zoned in, we zoned in on the Northeast coast and the new England States, right? With the major stops being like DC, Philadelphia, New York city, Boston, the Cape Maine, and then swinging back through Niagara falls on the way back home.

(05:25): And of course, the places that we were trying to throw in on that trip, where some of the places that I remember that I went when I was their age. And if I remember right, my brother and I think we complained, we probably fought the entire car ride. And so I just kinda was thinking about, think about all the fun that we would have, right. And all that, and how our kids could experience the exact same thing. And so what I was thinking about that trip, here's the thing three summers went by and we were still talking about it. There's never a good time to take off and hit the pavement. There's always something. So I said that year, that year was going to be different that summer, we were going to make sure it happens. And so super excited. I pulled out the family calendar.

(06:12): And let's just say, and I don't know if your calendar is the exact same way as mine, but it yeah. Filled with stuff. Okay. Filled with activities. And, you know, I had a major breakdown guys, baseball practices, the baseball games, the baseball tournaments, baseball camp, basketball camp, golf camp, everything that was, and it was just, just jam packed the schedule that were completely full. And it was taken up every single day between now and through the end of July. And then when you think about it, like, okay, wait, we'll go in August. Well, you can't right? Because that means August practices. That's when school sports have mandatory practice and the summer's over before it even starts. So, and my mind started spinning my heart started racing. I think tears were flowing. When is there time for family trips and having a conversation with myself? I do that sometimes asking, what do we do?

(07:12): If we leave for two to three weeks while our kids be behind, of course they will. Will they make the team? Who knows? Will they miss out? Absolutely. Will they let their team down? Will they let their coach down? And I know speaking as a former three sport, varsity coach, we knew who put the time in and who didn't during the summer months. Does that teach commitment? If we just take off commitment to what the means only time or sports schedules come first, will they be punished for not attending practices and games possibly. So what is the answer? What do we do? When should we go? Should we go? Remember I'm selfish. And I wanted that time. Our family needed that time precious. And I wanted to spend it traveling with five kids in a cramped car where my husband said that I will probably need a tranquilizer traveling the country, creating memories that we can laugh about 50 years from now, guys, it's simple.

(08:10): All the stressing and the solution is really simple. If you're in the same boat. And I can bet that some of you guys are take the trip, make the memories, spend the time. It doesn't have to be over the top. It could be tent, camping, drinking coffee in the morning, watching the sunrise, campfire games and storytelling out of state park in the evening. But realize that there was always going to be something on the schedule. And as a result, something will always happen. Be missed. If not, we're going to look up and another year will go by another summer. We'll go by. And then before we know it, our kids are gone. And so above all, be selfish and take the trip, our kids or family or friends, they're going to think of someday. I want to share with you a passage from my book, set free a woman's guide to clarity, freedom, and God's endless love.

(09:02): And it's set to release in may. Okay? So I wanted to share this. I pulled this. We often tell ourselves that our faith, family, friends, health and career are our focus, usually in that order, but let's get real. How many of us just say, that's what we value? Do we really live it? When it comes down to it? When we are faced with the everyday demands, the list ends up being a little more complex, career laundry, cooking, cleaning kids, family, you time, faith ends up getting put on the back burner and we revisit it when it's convenient or we have a free five minutes to even think or to breathe. Life is short. I know we've said that, but I want to tell you with deep conviction, that it really is true in the blink of an eye. All your moments are adding up, creating a beautiful life, and it is preparing you for eternity.

(09:54): The heart of it is that we only get one shot. We will cross the finish line at some point and it'll be here before we know it. So I want to encourage you to truly live each day and every day for him, I encourage you to live fully awake, fully present, and fully for the Lord. We need a revival in our souls. We need to wake up. We need to be on fire for God. Every day. He is chasing us down in pursuit of our hearts, but it's up to us to slow down, just breathe and let him catch us. And guys that is just a glimpse. Just a glimpse. Life is short. Take the trip. I cannot wait to share with you more in my book, set free. If you ever felt like something was missing, either within yourself or in your life as if there's a void that you can't define.

(10:37): And yet can't escape. You've been trying to find your purpose. And sometimes you even question whether you have one, I will help answer those questions and share how I discovered the way to show up as the woman. You want to be the woman, God designed and created you to be. I will share with you some of my darkest struggles and moments, and I'm going to trace the path to where I am today. And I'm going to give you every step I took along the journey that led me to God's unconditional love. So you can take these exact steps to freedom and enjoy his peace too. I pray that you realize that with God, you can overcome anything. I invite you to take a sneak peek of set free and joined the set free book club to go, go to Joel Allen, coaching.com, or you can find the link in our just brief Facebook group.

(11:16): Again, it is such a release in may, and I also know that you are being called to rise. I want to invite you to the just brief sisterhood, a 12 month mindset and accountability experience rooted in biblical truth for Christian women like you, who are ready to rise up head to the just brief link on Jo Allen, coaching.com heads up on the next episode, I'm going to continue to set free journey, come back next week because my husband Rob is hosting. As we unpack back a little bit more, that's going to be a fun day. Looking forward to that. And thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired beyond know someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable.

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