Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
(00:37): Welcome to find your fierce. Love it. That you are here. Super pumped to have the special guests with us today, we met at a game-changing retreat a few months back, and her fire is absolutely contagious. And I absolutely connected with her. She is a former public accountant and a now a children's author and a leader within the rights and set ministries. My friend, Abby, DePaul. How are you girl? So glad. Good. How are you? Good. Good. Tell us a little bit about yourself. I mean, just who are you? I mean, I know your fire is seriously. I absolutely love it. Your smile, your energy. And I think so many women are going to be able to connect with that here today. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Okay. So she mentioned I was a former public accountant, so growing up, I was always the overachiever, just always ready for the next step.
(01:29): So I'm, as in high school, I was ready for college and I was in college. I was ready for my career. I was always just ready for what was next. And so just overly planned. So I went to school and I got a degree in accounting and I was in a really good firm. And just at a young age, just started to really accelerate, you know, an upward trajectory and just was so determined to be a CPA, to get all these credentials, to be a partner that would one day make a lot of money and run this firm because the pathway was so clear to it. And I was really blessed with the department and the people I was with the partner I was under and he was getting ready to retire in a few years, like at the point where I quit. So I was doing all that.
(02:12): I was working hard, long hours. I didn't have any children. I wasn't married. So the better I did, the more they seem to give me. And the more I was just running so many jobs, flying everywhere, traveling everywhere. It just seemed like I had a never ending to-do list in my mind. And it was just like overwhelming. I would go to bed with so much, like I have to do this, this, this, and this the next day. And after 10 years of that, I just burned out. But I just thought, well, that's what I've worked so hard for. That's all I'm going to do. Like, I'm just going to be a partner. This is going to be my life for 30 more years. You know, like, this is what I've worked for, but it was so anti-climatic. So I made it all the way to senior manager, which is the one level below partner.
(02:56): And I was just a couple of short years away getting named partner. I was in the succession plan and everything, but as it became more real, I was like, don't like this. I don't really like what I'm doing, but I didn't see a way out. But at the same time, I was in a very toxic relationship. I was engaged to somebody. I met him when I was 22. I ended up leaving him at 29. But in that time, that was the whole time I was working hard for my career. And because I didn't really have a great romantic love life at home because I was carrying him. And I felt more like his mom, like it just, we were just not a fit. It was very toxic. I threw myself into my career and that's where I got all my self worth. My whole identity was wrapped up in my accomplishments and my body cause he was a bodybuilder.
(03:41): So all I did was work out and was in a magazine and you know, like it was all that, like I was trying so hard to adorn myself and everything of the world that would make me feel good. The clothes, the car, the BMW, the, that big house, you know, it was everything that I could try to achieve that I thought I was supposed to go for in life. That would make me happy. And so as I'm getting these things, I've got like a, I don't know, I think it was almost a three carat diamond ring on my hand. Do you know what I mean? Like, it was just all these things. Like everything you could think of that I thought I wanted,
(04:13): This is crazy because the last few weeks we've been talking about striving, I'm telling you, God can not line this stuff up. Even just like this, because we're tiling everything. And then now we have a real life person that is sharing this story and was in the midst of this.
(04:32): Yeah, because I set goals, you know, I was this goal setter. I had this picture for my life of what I thought I wanted and what it looked like. But what I really wanted was love more than anything. And it was the one thing I li I had the least. And so I was so torn. So at the same time, all this sabotaged my career. So I left him, we ended up breaking up and I moved. My firm had another location in Ohio. I was in West Virginia at the time and I transferred to Ohio. And in that time I had all the friends, I was traveling on trips, skydiving, hiking, the grand Canyon. I mean, I'm talking, I've tried everything to try to find fulfillment. And in that time I was like, I still can't find this love. Like I had a couple relationships, didn't work out.
(05:16): And I was like, I'm the common variable. So maybe I have some healing that needs to be done. So I went and talked to a counselor for like five months in that process. I didn't realize God was working on healing me and moving me closer and closer to finding him. So I came across a YouTube video on five keys, identifying your soulmate. So I'm like, I need to know this stuff so I can identify because I'm clearly like not doing the right thing here. I ended up really getting pulled in by this preacher. And he was so charismatic and so entertaining to watch. And it was just like the anointing on him. I didn't know what the time it was. The Holy spirit was just like, totally like speaking to my spirit. And I was like, what is it? I was so drawn. And then, you know, you know, you have like additional items, like our options and YouTube, like, so I kept clicking and watching more and more videos.
(06:02): I was so hungry for the truth. And I was so open and it was in that moment, I started to watch like so many sermons and it was like, everything I needed was one after the other, after the other to the point where I completely got on my knees one night in a hotel room while I was on the road. And I just surrendered, I was crying out to God, is that I can't do this anymore. I feel like I have no direction. I thought I wanted this it's so anti-climatic, it's not what I see myself doing for 30 more years. I just kept feeling like I had purpose that wasn't what I was doing instead.
(06:36): Well, but the accolades and the success ladder, it was what's next. What's more what's right.
(06:41): Cause I, you know, I was fueled off the striving. I was like, okay. I had like four credentials. Like I kept in the firm. It was like, take the next step, go up the next rung on the ladder per se. And then it was like, okay, you're a certified public accountant. Why don't you be a certified it professional? Okay, you got that one. Why don't you be a certified fraud examiner? Let's just keep specializing. So you have all these, you know, it was like one goal after another, after another striving. And I'm like, okay, I'm achieving all of this. I have everything. Like on the outside it would look like ahead everything. And I was like so empty because what I learned was that there was a hole in our hearts. They only can be filled with God. And so if you don't have him, you're trying everything externally to try to fill that place.
(07:26): That's why you have addictions. That's why you have love issues. You have all these problems because you're trying to get something that can only be, be received in one place. And it's a love issue. And so in that moment, when I was on my knees, I felt the power of God. Like the Holy spirit overcome me. It was the first time I really felt how real God was. It was an entire encounter where I felt completely wrapped in a blanket. Like his love was over me. Like my whole body was just bumped. I was crying because I was weeping at the love that I felt in that moment. I knew he was with me and he was going to guide me. So it was, that was like in June. So I could not stop seeking God all through July. And then August came a busy, busy time in a year in our firm.
(08:10): And all of a sudden I get baptized in the Holy spirit, in my apartment, all by myself. I'm up for like three days. I hear the Lord audibly. I'm seeing all these visions. He's giving me visions for this children's book series. Cause I'm like, I know I'm supposed to help kids. Like I'm going to be a writer. And I'm like, this is so crazy. This is so opposite of what I'm doing. What's so cool. Is it in all of that? I had friends that would come to me and be like, like, how are you getting so far at such a young age? What do you attribute that to? So I was like, man, like what if we could teach kids some of these skills that I garnered at a young age from starting out like working young 14 years old, like life skills. I was like, what if we can teach kids early? Cause they're like sponges, how to develop these skills so they can be better adults, like your better, like through their adolescents and their change to their college years into adulthood. So God started really just kind of fueling my creativity when I'm in this place of pure love in his presence. So he was showing me all this stuff and that I'll leave it for a minute there and let you know.
(09:15): Oh, I, I mean, and just having that massive shift and this is what I'm taking from this is that instead of saying, what's next, what's more in your professional life. It was what's next for me. And the focus was him more and it kind of like, tell me what I need to do. And you were learning and it just kind of, yeah.
(09:37): Yes. I shifted it shifted. I was like, Lord, you show me, I can't take this anymore because I'm done trying to figure it out myself. Like I've come to the end of my ideas. I've come to the end of what I feel I should do because I've exhausted those avenues. And I know how I feel at the end of what I set for myself to do. So I was getting so much fulfillment when that flipped by him guiding me. And I'm like, Oh my gosh. And you know what? I'm, I'm a person that loves truth and like figuring things out. So as he's revealing things to me, I'm like overwhelmed by wow. And he's opening up my mind and my perspective and expanding my capacity to see things that I never saw before that I was like, wow, I never even, I never even entered my mind as an option.
(10:21): And he's like, I have this stuff for you, but you need to come to me for me to open it up and show you and then we'll have a process to get there. But you know what I mean? Like he showed me kind of the mountain top end goal. And then he's like, okay, now let's reel it back in. We got to walk through this process. I got to strip everything away from you. And I've got to work on your character where I'm the priority and your foundation is on a rock solid foundation on sinking sand, like it was. And so I literally heard him say, when I'm in my apartment, I want you to lay down your earthly crown for a heavenly one. And I was like, what? So I was like, Lord, I know in my heart of hearts, like I know that I'm not an accountant.
(10:58): Like I know I'm not supposed to do this. I know I have a bigger purpose, but help me because I need a clear answer that I'm supposed to lay down everything. I worked like the last, what almost 15 years for through college and through my professional career, I need you to help me. So he gave me like a gift of faith and I had a wonderful partner. I worked for, there was a believer and I look back retrospectively now and I'm like, wow, God really lined it all up. I went out, I went in and I quit the same day that I went in the office. They had the meeting, they allowed me to quit the same day. And they were like, if you ever want to come back, you're more than welcome to come back into this world with us. Like, we know that we're not going to get in the way of God, but they knew that I had had such an encounter that completely flipped me. So 15 crying. We were all crying. Cause I knew like I knew what I had to do. Well, you're showing them too
(11:54): That there is more yeah. Each and every one of us that we have access to that. It's funny. I was talking a little bit about contentment and that was always a big thing for me. It's like you know, be, you know, be content, be happy with what you have, but at the same time, you know, I always looked at that as settling, like, Oh, I don't want to be lazy. I don't want to settle. I'm supposed to do more, be more, but I don't think that's that at all. It's being content with the journey that I think that you've been placed on.
(12:24): And the step that you're in right then it's not, is this like, cause you can always, we can always do more. We could always be more. But if we get that revelation from God that you're doing and you're at exactly where I have you, you can be so fulfilled in that moment, knowing that God's leading you to more places. Like there's never an end with God. Like there's always going to be more like stuff that you never imagined you do. He'll take you there. If you rest in him and get the blueprint from him. Yeah.
(12:52): Yeah. And it's so much better than what we could even imagine. And what are things that we think our plans are like so good and so awesome of what we're doing, but his eyes are even better.
(13:03): Right. And I think that's where it like hit me too. Cause I'm like, here I am. I planned all this out. And I thought, this is what I was supposed to do. According to the world standards, to have a job that's stable, that I can make money and then all this stuff. And then, cause it was always my goal to make six figures as a woman, you know? And I was there and I just like set all that myself without even thinking or considering what else God had for me. And now I'm in this place where I'm helping people. I'm so fulfilled by giving. And I was I was a selfish person. Like he saved me from myself and I would never like, I mean, there's so much disease done now that like, I'm telling you, like he's stripping for everything. So I went from a BMW to a bicycle. I went from boardrooms and suits and Gucci bags and Lou Baton shoes to wearing paint all over my clothes. So I work with my dad and my brother and I'm able to just do like project based painting. Cause I, I painted with my dad growing up and the skills came back, you know, working with them and I'm doing this jobs here and there, but covered in paint,
(14:05): Right? You back even having more of a connection with your family and the time to have that time with them when you were working, who knows how many hours a week.
(14:13): Right. And in that 10 year period, when I was in my career and I was in a relationship, he kind of pulled me away from family. And then my career also pulled me away too. So I felt very disconnected from them. I only saw him on holidays and special events and it's like, God brought the important thing back family. I have such a good relationship with my dad, with my mom, with my brother, with my sisters. I have gotten to work with my dad and my brother, like who gets to do that? Like it's so amazing. We have so much fun. We listened to sermons. We praise together, worship together. My brother got saved shortly after I did. So we were like the two, not, we don't want anything to do with Jesus. Like that's another part of my story too. I remember calling my mom like mom, I was always crying and she's like, Abby, you've tried everything. Why not try Jesus? And that is one thing that stuck out and never went away in my mind. I'm like I have tried everything. I don't really try him. Not because of someone else's faith, but why don't I really open my heart and seek him for myself and see what I find. I'm an intellectual person. Let me do my own research is kind of how I felt about it. And I ran right into him. They countered him.
(15:23): We've said, I've said this before. I mean it, because it sounds crazy because we'd want to fix things ourselves. We want to go to other people to, you know, help and for them
(15:32): To believe that the answer no.
(15:34): And for you to walk in leaving a six figure job. Yeah. Everything that you have worked for and what you have believed to be what we were supposed to do, you go in, you quit and then you go write a book and leave everything that, I mean, that, that could be, that is risky. Mean you look at it as risk or you could look at it as 100% faith that the Lord got your back.
(16:03): He had to encounter me powerfully because I never would have walked away from that. I would have stayed miserable. He had to be so clear and counter me in such a way that I w I was able to take the leap of faith because I knew what I knew in my spirit. Like I, I had to, I was like, I cannot say no to God. And if he is taking it away, it's because he's going to replace it with something better. Because that's how, that's his character. When I grew more into understanding where he was, I was like, God is good. He's not just going to take all this away from me just to keep me like what I think suffering, you know, like he's going to do something and, and he has, it's beautiful. And right now I'm starting to see what he's adding back to my life after he took things away and got my foundation. Right.
(16:44): And healed your heart and healed your entire, my soul. Yes. That's it
(16:49): To make me whole, yeah. I was very broken, insecure, rejected, sad. You know, like just confused. And when you don't have God, you don't have the truth. So you can believe any lie, deception, worldly idea ideology, if you don't have that plumb line of truth. And so when he opened the light, it was like, the lights came on and I was enlightened to the truth. I was like, wow, nothing else matters. But Lord, let me do what you want to do your way, because I know your way is the best way. And there's so much proof, you know, like I'm watching these miracles all around me now. And it's just so cool.
(17:29): So did you look at it as a risk? I mean, I know you use the word that it was like a hundred percent faith, but you know, for someone who's listening right here, I mean, it sounds so risky because we're supposed to be stable and have that, you know, the retirement set up and we bills and
(17:50): I'm telling you even right now, I still get freaked out every once in a while. And I have to come back to like, Lord, you told me to do this. So if you told me to do this, like, I'm trusting that you're taking care of. And honestly he's provided the whole time. Like, I've never had to worry, like he's stretched me, but he's literally provided me with a place to live. You know, a car I got rid of my car, went into that bicycle and then boom, like my mom and my stepdad gave me a car. Cause they got another one they already, so I have no car payment, you know? So it's like, I saw the miracles of God that were working out in my favor because I did what he asked me to. So it was such a risk and you know, what's so crazy is I went skydiving in may like May 3rd of right before I had that encounter with God in June.
(18:37): So I was already in this place of, I look at it now and I feel like it's a prophetic sign because I went skydiving. I jumped out of a plane to take a leap of faith. And it was like, it was a foreshadow for what I was getting ready to do with my spiritual journey to take a leap of faith with God, to leave everything behind. It's kind of like when he called the disciples, he encountered them and their commission on the encounter and they left everything in that moment to follow Jesus. And I feel like even like Mary, with the alabaster jar where she poured out her expensive perfume, it was worth a year's wages. I always identify with that story too, because it's like, I poured out everything I had basically and said, Jesus, that you were, if you were this real to me, it's not mine to begin with. You gave me the talents, the giftings, the abilities. So I'm pouring it out on you, knowing that you're going to do something, that's going to be so much better than what I'm doing.
(19:29): People judged. They have their opinions there.
(19:31): I went through a lot. They thought it was my family wanted to me to be checked out in a mental hospital. They were like, we just want you to get checked to make sure, okay, you're not on drugs. Like what's going on? You know, like no one in my family really walked in the power of the Holy spirit like this. And no one knew what was going on. And they thought I was crazy for wanting to lay my career down. But now they see the fruit and they realize like when I'm in a ministry, they see what God's doing. And they realize like, okay, she wasn't off the rocker completely.
(19:59): Let's talk about some of the things that the fruit that has come from this. I mean, you did write a book, ambitious Abbey. Yes. The visions that you had, the visions that were placed on your heart and that dream, you ran with it.
(20:12): Yeah. And I wrote a book. You have to go to schools, read to kids, see the book, just touch kids. Like I've read, I've written another one. So I've got a whole series I'm writing. But yeah, that happened. And the book just came supernaturally. Like in two hours I had never studied poetry, rhyming meter, all that. And I knew it was supposed to rhyme. And I was like, Lord, I'm just going to seek you. And then, you know, one day I just felt like he was saying, sit down at your computer. And I started writing and it flowed right out. Like it was perfect rhyme, perfect grammar, like the meter. And I sent it to my editor and she's like, man, you've really been working. Cause I had, I had a six month writing block in the midst of all that. And I was like, no, I'm thinking, no, I just sought God. And he gave it to me. And that place of presence that's when you know you're aligned. Yep.
(20:55): With what it is that you're called to do when you're, when everything just flows. Yeah.
(21:00): Yeah. So that's how it came out in the ministry.
(21:03): Yes. It's taken off and impacting lives. Let's talk a little bit. Oh, heads up before we forget though, is it ambitious Abby? Yes.
(21:12): Abby a, B, B E Y. Ambitious Abby. All one word.com is the website.
(21:17): Yeah. And then let's talk a little bit about rise and set ministries because now it's like, okay, you're helping children. And, and you're, you know, getting in with the schools and making an impact there, but you're also making an impact with women who need this breakthrough that you had as well.
(21:32): Right. And it's so cool. Cause we're all human and we all face the same issues regardless of where we're at. And I just, it's so awesome because God keeps bringing people that need to hear what maybe I went through or what my friends have gone through. And as I left my job and I ended up moving back home, that's where God was pulling me back to. I ended up getting connected to all these women. I did not know them before. And you're one of them that she'd shared with me. But the rest of them, I had no idea who they were. It was a, God was just divinely bringing these connections and he always blesses us. And so all of a sudden we thought we were having a Bible study and ended up turning into the note. God had other ideas. If this whole ministry that starts to get birth and we're able to go out and pray for people, we've seen healings.
(22:14): We've seen people get delivered that free, just working on root issues of what's going on. And it's just like totally freeing people. And I got to go to Israel, get baptized in the Jordan river. I've gone to Haiti three times. I'm getting ready to go back. I'm going to be a leader. They're taking trips like every year with a team doing mission work. I mean, I, wouldn't never done something like that. Like you're talking to someone who would not get dirty and now I'm like, you know, that's, that's just a testimony of how much God has transformed my heart. Like I cannot wait to get back and pick up the kids that are in these slums that don't even have drinking water. Like it just love on them. And so, yes, we're doing that. I mean, we've got t-shirts we just launched. I mean, there's a store. That's going to get birthed here soon. Like there's just so much that God's doing it's and I could have never envisioned any of this. There's like no more selfish Abby. Right
(23:08): When I'm on this, because I was selfish as well. I mean, I think a lot of us are it's what's in it for me. What's in it for me. And the thing of it is when you shift that focus, you still are getting blessed beyond measure. Right?
(23:22): And it's like, when it means nothing to you personally, like selfishly, that's when God gives it all to you because he has to redo your foundation. What's he's all about character, which I think is so funny too. Cause then it's just, Abby is all about character building life skills. And I'm like, God, you're funny. Cause he's all about character and getting us to like accelerate and the principles and the values of God and loving others. And it's just, it's amazing. But these girls are so awesome. And like we've all been on this path of healing and training and you know, being taught by God and it's just, God is bringing us opportunities and we're getting to do some incredible things that we could never even orchestrate. If we tried,
(24:06): Well, you're waking women up, you're helping me be awake and live. There is more and there is a what's next. It's just not the what's next that we have been taught or right by the world of what's next.
(24:21): Yeah. Like you're worldly. What's next is get a career, have a marriage, have babies. And that's it. God's like, no, there's so much, it never ends. Like that's not where it stops for you. Even if you've been married and you have children and you're sitting here listening to this and you're thinking, man, this is it right now. Like there's I don't see anything else. Or it's just the mundane routine. No. Like God wants you to seek his heart because he has stuff that he wants to open up inside of you. There's potential. That's unlocked that, that you might not even have thought of before. That completely gives you a new spark and a new fire. That's why she says I'm on fire. It's just because I'm so ignited about the possibilities of what he's doing. Because I feel like every day is an adventure living in this place of all like a little kid.
(25:06): He says, come to me like a little child because in a little child, they don't think of like the scary things that could happen or were not what's the word skeptical or critical. Like we're just in a place of, okay dad, you said it you're going to do it. You know, like here's sitting there in this place of all in wonder as a child. And he wants us to be like that as adults. And that's where that healing comes in. So we can sit up, please. God, I don't know. But you do. And you're good. So show me what's next because I'm excited about it
(25:34): And you'll get me there. I love it. It's like stripping that hardness away, the blinders off and stripping you from everything that you think that you have to have for that approval and love and right.
(25:52): And speaking of love for three years now, I've been totally consumed by God's love and to a place where it's so healthy and I'm whole. And he took loneliness away from me, took my desire to have a mate away from me because I was so focused on what God wanted to do that. Now he started to bring me into a place where he's adding that desire back because I know that he's bringing in my partner who will be whole, and that he's been preparing for me so that we can come together and do whatever he wants us to do for his glory. So, but I haven't sat around like pining away, like, Oh my gosh, my husband, I need to go look on Christian mingle and I need to do, God's like, no, I will not let you miss one another. Like what's for you is for you stop worrying.
(26:35): And so he took all that away from me. And because you know, today, like women are trying to find that love. And I'm telling you, I want to encourage anyone listening to allow God to be your everything for him to completely fill you. Because even when you're with somebody, you can't expect to get that from that person. That's a pressure you're putting on them that they're not intended to carry. And so if you're so fulfilled and you have this amazing life someone's going to want to come into that life, they're not going to look at you as a drain. That's going to suck the life out of them. They're like, wow, life is opening up by being around this person. So I just encourage you to become, just be, and in being you'll receive, and God will make sure the right things come to your life and aligned the way they're supposed to girl.
(27:18): This is good. I think, yeah, you definitely impacted some lives today. Where can they find you covering a lot? I know you, I know they want to follow you and connect with you. Where can they do that? So you can follow residents at ministries and you can see what we're doing on there. We do, we do teachings and lives and different things on there. Whenever God put stuff on our hearts that only have an Instagram or Facebook for sure. Our Instagram page isn't live yet, but as inset ministries and it has the ampersand, like the, the ants on the rise and set ministries, you can follow my personal Facebook page. Just happy to plug up. I'm on Instagram too at [inaudible]. And you can also follow ambitious Abby or you can go to ambitious ivy.com. That is awesome. I love it. I cannot thank you enough for being here.
(28:06): Thank you for having me. I love talking to you. This is so good. I think I'm going to probably smile all day. You know, just, this is really definitely kicked off. You know, my week I do want to connect with you guys. If you want to break free from what's holding you back from walking in your true identity, connect with me on Facebook and we can work together. And if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle crazy busy life, then head on over to be fit and fierce.com and become unstoppable with us. And it's just just 20 bucks a month. And if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing your faith, join our just brief Facebook group heads up. We are going to have another special guest and friend Belinda. Ginter a success and mindset coach next week. So be sure to join us. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. As we all know, someone that can benefit, and I would love it. If you would give some feedback and review as well, talk with you next time [inaudible] be unstoppable.
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