Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll learn… 

  • The reason you’re constantly stressed out, anxious, and lashing out at everyone around you (and how to fix it today) (1:18) 
  • Why trying to be a “supermom” will erode your relationship with your kids and make you feel you worse about yourself (3:27) 
  • How to feel deeply alive and fulfilled every day in 5 minutes or less (5:58) 
  • The 5-minute Self-care method that gets you feeling deeply alive and fulfilled (5:58)
  • The counterintuitive reason being selfish strengthens all your relationships (even with God) (7:13) 

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://befitandfierce.com and become unstoppable with us.

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:36): Welcome to find your fierce. Love it. That you're here today. We are going to continue the what to be striving for series. This is part two, and we're going to pick up where we left off from last week. And like I had mentioned before, this is something that I had to really grab a hold of. I was on the path of strive mode yet. I was striving for the wrong things. And I have to say, I am thankful that I was on that path and experience that because I would not know what I know today. So it all worked out for the greater good. And as I get to share with you what I had discovered, I had found that oftentimes we don't even realize that we are seeking approval from everyone, but the one who ultimately matters and what it is that we are striving for.

(01:18): And a lot of that stress and that anxiety that I had was self-induced. And I had these expectations based on all these worldly values and ideas, the stressed out anxious short-tempered me was the result of striving for the wrong things and the things that were not aligned with me and who I was created to be. And if you have not listened in, on part one of this series, be sure to go back and download that. So you can add it to these next bike things that I'm going to share with you as to what we should be striving for. So this is part two of three in the series, and I have found that we should really be going after in our life. Number six, surrendering control. I get it. We have so many plans and ideas, and we think we know what's best for our life, right?

(02:10): We plan, we strive. We try to be in charge, but we are ultimately not in control. And that is so hard to even get a hold of that concept. And when we're holding onto these ratings, white knuckling, it, it only brings on the anxiety and the overwhelm in our lives, in our hearts. And the thing is we truly believe our plans are the best that they are really, really super good. And we try to force it all into this pretty packaged, boxed up life. It's like we're jamming a puzzle piece and that just doesn't fit. And we have to let go of what we have planned and allow God to do his work, that we cannot control the results that we hope for. Sometimes that we have to surrender and trust that it's all going to be okay. And if not, we will be looking side to side, comparing, worrying, stressing about things.

(03:06): And then ultimately unhappiness will start settling in with everything, with everything in our lives. And so I'm here to ask you, what is it that you have to let go of? What things do you need to just surrender in your life strive to let go to have ultimate faith, number seven, make yourself a priority, strive to make yourself a priority. Get yourself off the back burner that we are constantly pouring ourselves into others. That we are being that superwoman, supermom, that super wife, that super friend, super daughter, but we need to move ourselves up on that list. That priority list that I know that we all have. We need to fill ourselves up with the things that bring us joy that bring us love happiness, creativity. We need to exercise. We need to move. We need to fuel ourselves with healthy foods. We need to get enough rest, get enough, sleep, laugh with friends.

(04:04): We need to take care of ourselves every day to strive to make yourself a priority. Number eight, we need to strive for a real good life. Somewhere along the way we have been told, or there was a moment that we started to believe that we were not good enough. Hence the striving addiction we're going after something to fill a void that you need to be more or do more, to be loved or be accepted or to be approved of. This is what started this whole entire series. We need to be striving for the real good life you are worthy of it all guys, you don't have to have it all together. What is the life that you've been longing for? The one that is simple yet. So amazing. The wonderful joy that is rich, real and flawed. The one that is true, the one where you are totally free strive for that kind of life.

(05:00): Number nine, strive for grace. Get off the hamster wheel of striving for more, whatever that more is for you. That impossible standard that you have given yourself to live up to and give yourself some grace, give up the cake that you're wearing. Hang it up for a day. Do what you can, where you are with what you have. Give yourself some love. Give yourself the okay to take a break, get refreshed, forgive yourself, give yourself some patience, kindness, and some empathy. And then we can give grace to the people in our lives. When our hearts are filled with these things, we can pay it for them. We can pass it along. We can deepen our relationships with the love. We can deepen our relationships with sincere patients, gratitude and acceptance. And what about that impossible standard for others, right? That we place on others. Sometimes you just got to jump into the crazy ring with them versus fighting it and give them some grace and number 10 strive to be deeply alive.

(06:01): I encourage you to fill your days up with the things that make you feel deeply alive. Even if it's just five minutes a day, fill your days up with moments of joy that will add to this huge, massive shift in our hearts. Wake up early saver that time alone time for devotions. And self-care snuggles with your kiddos. Maybe it's a good cup of coffee or a glass of wine with a friend or a spouse. What is it that you love? What is it that you need in your life to feel deeply alive? That fills your heart. Stop, striving to jam up your days with appointment after appointment and meetings after meetings that ultimately edge out what you need to feel alive and awake with the people you love the most, our hearts should be on fire. Our day should be filled with things that truly fire us up.

(06:46): Don't tell me it can't happen. Don't tell me it is what it is. It is time to create the steps you need to take it to the next level to make it happen. Live a life where you feel alive. Ladies, this journey is continuing. There's still so much more to this. And to recap here, be sure to listen in on the first part of the series and we need to be able to let go and surrender that control. Just let go and know that God has us. All of us be selfish. Take care of you. Make yourself a priority, strive for the good life. Focus on what matters. Give some grace to you, your family, your coworkers, friends, and strive to be alive, to truly be awake. Not with your eyes, just open and merely surviving, but to be truly alive. I love it. I love it.

(07:34): I love it. This fires me up before you go. If you want to break free from what's holding you back from walking in your true identity, connect with me on Facebook and we'll catch up. And if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability for women who know what it's like to juggle a crazy busy life, then head on over to be fit and fierce.com and become unstoppable with us is just 20 bucks a month. And if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to grow in your faith, join our, just breathe. Facebook group heads up. We are going to finish up the series on striding and what it is that we should be striving for on the next episode. Join us. And I thank you for joining us today. Please subscribe, share your episode, link on the social media. As we all know, someone that can benefit, and I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable. See ya.

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