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In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • The counterintuitive way you become more courageous (3:12)
  • The “P-word” that lurks in your mind and fills you with fear (5:19)
  • Why you should want to fail more often (5:29)
  • How to harness the full magic of failure instead of feeling defeated and embarrassed (6:00)
  • How to banish feelings of insecurity, doubt, and anxiety before they creep into your head (8:00)
  • This is the only person stopping you from achieving all your wildest dreams (12:00)
  • If you do these two things, you’ll have more joy and confidence than you ever imagined… (23:26)

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://befitandfierce.com and become unstoppable with us.

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:36): Hey there, welcome to find your fears. This is episode 20 and I so love this topic. We are going to dive into courage. We're gonna talk a little bit about what it takes, what it means, and what happens when you finally take the leap. A faith. As I know this world needs people with courage that lead the way, that inspire others in a big and small way. And to show up as their most vulnerable self. There are unrehearsed self where their heart on their sleeve. So I mean, that's the kind of thing that the world needs right now. And that's exactly why I invited my dear friend Jody reneger here today to talk about courage. And you're going to love her passion that you're gonna love her heart and you're gonna love her love for helping others. Welcome Jody, how are you?

(01:24): Great, Jill. And thanks for having me here this morning. I'm excited to be here with you.

(01:28): Yeah, well tell us a little bit about yourself. You know, who are you, what the day in a life, Jodi?

(01:33): Well, I'm a mom of two boys, grown boys. One's 28, one's 18, getting ready to graduate. I'm an administrator for a school district here. I've been doing that for about 10 years. Love my job, love the people I work with. And outside of my regular job, I've been working the last two years helping develop a nonprofit organization that's a leadership program for girls and working with leaders here in our community to establish this program, a one day retreat for girls to help with confidence, courage, and resiliency. So it's been a lot of fun. We've had some twists and turns. Our first event was canceled this year due to, you know, the current situations, but we're pivoting and trying to come up with some new content and virtual content. So it's been an exciting process and process in which I've grown a lot and made a lot of good connections.

(02:20): That is awesome. That's the thing like you talk about with the inspire, you didn't, you're not just working, okay. You pioneered this, you developed it. You are paving the way. You actually, this is exactly why I had you on this episode to talk about courage because that's exactly what it had to take for somebody to kind of step up and lead the way and then to pay it forward to help girls have and develop courage is absolutely amazing. I mean to tell us in your terms, define courage.

(02:50): Okay. So courage is living through our fear and embracing that enough to where we face it and not let it paralyze us from living our life. And I think so many of us right now feel that if you want to be a courageous person, that you are a person that is sort of born fearless. And courage is actually something that is learned. Courage is something that grows in us. And each time we put ourselves in situations where we might be in a fearful situation and we overcome that, we become more courageous. So I think steps to becoming more courageous is embracing fear and walking through your fear. That's good. I love it. You know, we talked a lot about the fear. We've had prior episodes facing those fears, embracing that fear. But I sometimes think of being courageous is it could be risky, it could be kind of like foolishness.

(03:47): It can be walking into the unknown, getting away from our comfort zone, the stability and what's normal. I've heard recently everyone's saying, you know, I just want to get back to normal. Okay? And I'm not sure if I'm, I'm in that boat because to me, I'm thinking this is a time for us to step into that unknown, embrace it, be courageous, and do something completely different and be brave. And so let's talk about a time where you had to be courageous. You walk into the unknown, but yeah. Okay. So well, I say, you know, even like right now doing a podcast with you, you know, when you first asked me, I'll be honest with you, like I sort of fear gripped me and I started thinking of excuses and reasons to tell you, yeah, I don't want to do this. Or I even started doubting myself.

(04:36): Like what would I have to share that would be a value to share with others. But then I realized that that is stopping me from growing as a person and taking as possibilities come embracing them and going with it. And so I think, you know, each time when we put ourselves in situations and we find that after the fact we've been in a courageous moment, it suddenly makes you more brave and you're willing to do it the next time. And you find that courage becomes contagious. And that's where I think the beauty of courage is that, that, that piece of courage where it is contagious for others or even for yourself, that you want more and more of it and you realize that it's okay to fail, which I'm still working on, that it's okay to let go and letting go of perfectionism. And that comparison is a big piece of just embracing failure and being courageous. Yeah, failure is definitely not a negative thing. Like to me over the years, failure is not even like scary anymore to me. And that has come from personal growth, you know, without risk, without courage, without that leap of faith, there's no growth in that. And that's where I think we, you know, can become stagnant or you know, just stay back in our comfort zone without growing. So I think risk, there's no

(05:58): Growth.

(05:58): I agree. Failure is a lot of us trying to protect ourselves from situations that would, where we would experience failure. We associate failure with being shameful or embarrassing, but it's actually the opposite. That's when we grow up. Just what you were saying there, you grow through those moments of failure and failures unavoidable and we need to stop thinking that or seeing failure as a definition of our own self worth. And when you realize that and you embrace that freedom comes with that. But you know, we can be our own hardest critic in the areas of that.

(06:32): I remember a time, I don't know, it was about three years ago and I remember, you know, a lot of my stories, it seems like that goes back to crying, but my crying moments were the ones that were breakthroughs and it was, and I cry maybe when I get overwhelmed or stressed or whatever, but I remember saying that if and when I show up as my most true authentic self talk about the freedom in that, in the power of the impact that can be made when someone becomes vulnerable and real and in tune and aligned with who they really are. And when that happens, it just, things can like basically you're showing up as to who God created you to be. Let's talk about risk. I mean we have the risk because sometimes being courageous can be risky, right? It can seem foolish. It can be seem, it could seem like where it's, it doesn't make sense. And then faith, because I don't think you could have courage without faith and I don't think you could have courage without risk. How can we link those two together? Or have you ever thought about it that way?

(07:43): Oh yeah. Especially here lately. You know, you and I are doing the Bible study that Priscilla Schrier with armor of God and she talks a lot about faith and putting on that armor that shows faith and carrying that and how the enemy shoots his fiery darts at us that are a lot of times fear. And we need to realize that fear is a distraction. Like the enemy uses that as a distraction against us and keeps us from moving forward and being victorious with our own goals or ambitions or even our walk with the Lord. So when we let those fears creep in, that's when insecurity, grips, ass doubt, anxiety, worry, hopelessness, or even leaves us questioning our own abilities. And that's where that fear can have us. Even that field of shield of faith that we have, we'll drop it and run and it's crippling.

(08:32): So you know in scripture we're reading here in the Bible study that fear has mentioned over 300 times in scripture. So God knows that fear does have a significant impact on us and the enemy uses that against us. So if you look at all the scripture together, it collectively says, don't be afraid, just don't be afraid and clean to your faith. And that's essential. So I think all that goes, it was back to courage and that we need to practice courage daily. It's that everyday courage and understand that courage is not just a given, that it's, it's developed, that it's learned, that it gets strengthened each time that we use it. And to just remind yourselves of that daily and it goes back to letting go, getting out of our comfort zone. I'm not worrying about what other people think. It just walk in our faith and practice courage daily. And when you start listening to all of that and you keep that shield of faith up there, that's when you become more courageous each day.

(09:32): That's where it begins. Yeah, it's definitely a choice to pick up that shield. Yes. A choice to be courageous. Just I, I think about that time and I remember when we were in Sedona and I asked you guys to jump off this ledge.

(09:53): What do you think about 15 feet? Yeah,

(09:56): It was about 15 feet. The water was really cold that time of year. I see the icy, icy, cold, cold water. It took your breath away. But I wanted to have this moment where to me having that, I just go back to that again. That leap of faith, of that freedom of what happens. And I remember I asked you guys, what is it that we need to let go of? What is it that we need to have the courage to do? What is it that God is asking us to do? What is it that we're being called to do and what is it that we need to do, like to bake, make it happen. Cause it doesn't make sense for me to ask you, okay, and this is me. This isn't even God asking you this. This was me asking you to, Hey, let's just jump off that. Okay. And have this pivotal moment

(10:41): To where we can Be free and have that courage to be able to do that and everything is going to be okay. So you did that with me through that and the courage that it took for you to be able to do it.

(10:54): And that was a moment for me, happened to be my 50th birthday. I don't know if you remember that, but when you were setting all of that up and talking about being courageous and letting go, I was right there with you. I was hooked in ready like I am. This is a trip. It's going to represent a pivot in my life to be courageous. And then you pitched out, I did not know you wanted to pitch out. Let's go up on this big rock and jump into the water. And at first I was, you know, in the past I probably would have been really afraid to do that. And it was, the fear was not because of jumping from the height. My fear was jumping into that water, that cold water, and then coming out again. This is letting go of perfectionism wearing my hair was going to be wet for the rest of the day.

(11:37): I clothes were wet. I had no change of clothes and letting go of that perfectionism, which to some that don't struggle with. That may sound silly, but I know there's one thing that would relate to that. That would not jump for the very same reasons. I was not jumping, but I, you know, I go to one of my favorite quotes is leap and the net will appear and I realized that I had not always lived a life of courage. If anything, I've struggled with it a lot and I would find myself saying, I wish I was courageous enough to lead a Bible study. I wish I was courageous enough to run a half marathon. And I realized that the only thing that was stopping me from doing all of those things was me and my own fear within me. I mean, nothing was stopping me from doing those things, but I was letting things hold me back from worrying about failing, worrying about what people would think, worrying about seeing the race if I'd be the last person to finish the, the across the finish line.

(12:27): But then I realized who cares, you know, it's about doing it, stepping forward and, and letting go. And when I did that, you know, that was a game changer for me. And that moment jumping in was a game changer for me. And just being around that, I think women need to really surround themselves with other women that lift them up or put them in situations where they're supported and encouraged because that really does help give you the strength to overcome your fears and then to walk into your boldly into your purpose. So that to me was really a moment in time that I do look back on and realize the change that I have had in my life and how I'm continuing to working to B more bold and courageous and living

(13:11): Well. And it was a brave moment too, you know, to show up cause you knew that you were going to come up out of that water as your true self. And to be brave on that and you know, I want to ask you, you know, who's listening here? Think of a moment that made you feel brave recently or a moment in time where it requires you to be brave. You know, and I think back to those moments and the growth that came from it because I think it's really, really powerful when it comes to living a life of purpose of greatness and of showing up as exactly who you are. Let's kind of shift gears here a little bit. You mentioned everyday courage. We can talk about the big stuff and this is where I was like saying, Hey, let's show up as it could be big courage.

(13:56): It could be small courage. I know I asked you, but you're being called to do what God is asking you to do. I know we've talked about in our past episodes where we're slowing down enough to really listen to what is being spoken over us. You know, and taking that first step, but let's just take it to something a little bit more simple. Every day. Bravery, everyday courage being spontaneous. I mean it could even be going into a path that that you know, normally follow. You guys could be going out for a jog and you guys changed the course and you know, the courage to take the road that's less traveled. Let's talk a little bit about that in terms of how do you show up in everyday courage? What are some things that you do that maybe you can share with us for us to be able to show up?

(14:45): So I think a little bit with just being courageous, like in your every day life is just rolling with the punches, embracing, you know, the, I think everyday courage is just facing each day as it comes, being you not maybe overthinking things to actually know, I know Jill, you know that that's my life that I need to work on. And Jessica is going with it. Stop worrying about being so perfect or that comparison. And just I think comparison right now everyone's looking at how different people are handling situations and arising and you just have to be you and pull off of your strengths and roll with it and not maybe second guess yourself all the time. I fall into that trap quite a bit daily. I and you just got to keep pushing forward, showing up for you to show up for others and not be so hard on yourself.

(15:40): I agree on that. We as women can easily be ourselves up over things and the courage to maybe be yourself and actually show your heart. I think that's something that women need to hear is that we know we're placed here in people's lives for a reason. It has become even more apparent to me. You know, I've thought about a lot here these last few weeks and more now than ever, people need women who are walking in truth showing love, being courageous, being true to who they are, do who God wants them to be and that requires a whole lot of courage and a whole lot of faith in that. And yeah. What is it like to think of a time like, okay, women need, and you guys can answer this on your own too. What is it that you want in your life that is even more amazing, more wonderful that is going to require a risk that's going to require courage.

(16:42): What in your life I think is to keep showing up and this is where it gets real, right? It is. And I think guys, I want to let you guys know it's so easy, Jody and I are seriously made from the same mode it seems like. And I totally get it. I want to give you guys a heads up here guys. If someone asks me to do something several years ago, just several years ago, I can not tell you the amount of growth that I have had and that's, and this is why I get so excited. I love making people step outside of their comfort zone. Okay? That's my mission in life is did make help and encourage and be there for people to Uplevel, okay. In all areas of their life. And if you had asked me just a few years ago, guys, every single thing I remember being on a trip. Okay. In Jamaica. Okay. I think it might've been my 40th birthday and I was striving so much in my business that I ruined the trip in Jamaica because I was over. I was just, I didn't have the courage to just take a step back and just show up

(17:49): As myself. I was trying to have everything scripted within my business. And I remember working while I was in Jamaica. Okay. Now I think back and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can't believe that. But guys, Jody turned off per script here. She turned off her script because here I am. She knew I was going to ask her questions that I said like, this is just going to be a conversation. It's just her and I talking back and forth. Okay. You talk about courage to be on here. I'm making her get out of her comfort zone right now. So these questions that I'm asking, I'm, and this is for you, cause I know you guys can all relate to this right now. Okay. You've been in a spot where you are facing the unknown, you are on uncharted territory, you're not liking that feeling. There's that, that feeling in your gut.

(18:40): You're like, man, I know I really want to do this. I know I should do this. But then there's something stopping you for whatever reason. And so when I ask you what is it that you want more in your life that's going to require courage and risk, what is it that you're going to have to do? What area of your life are you going to have to be more courageous in? And this is a question she didn't know I was going to ask cause I don't forget the script we're showing up. Real honest. Perfection is gone and it's just that Jill, it's, it's letting go. And he knew that and I do appreciate, I do appreciate you pushing me out of my comfort zone and, but it's, it's, you know, I come in here for, we sat down, I have a script and I'm like, what?

(19:22): What do you mean you're not going to write down the order of the questions you gave me. And that throws me way off because I'm somebody, I'm going to be very structured and sorta fall back into that perfectionism and worried about, you know, where I'll fail, what won't be right. And so I do like the fact that you're like, okay, let's, I knew I had to cut the script and go with it. Go from the hip. And actually I know that's when I'm more genuine. I'm more real and more authentic and that's when I'll connect with people in the way that people want to be connected with. So that's definitely, I'm in this whole place with you on this journey that I am growing to and that's where I went. Hoping a woman listening or anyone listening that we're all growing through this together, going through it and growing through it together.

(20:04): And so I encourage you to push yourself and to throw the script out and just go with it. And Jill, I appreciate what you're doing, what you've done with me and my life and what you're doing with other women in their life to step out of their comfort zone, to really become more courageous, to, to step forward into their purpose. Because that is where the magic is. That's where you really start to become you. And honestly, it's, it's, it's so freaking exciting and you just want to do more. So yeah, here's the thing guys. We like to rationalize everything guys, but I get it. We're all like one minute here and we get it. We try to think, overthink, rationalize, justify everything,

(20:48): And we try to move forward in this structured, rational decision making. We're sometimes, well forget sometimes every time we need to walk forward boldly in our faith and you said it, the net will appear. There's no net. We don't see the net, right? That's the courage. That's the faith. That's where they collide, that risk taking. And it seems crazy. We can sit here all day and talk about it. And it could be about writing a book. It could be starting a new business. It could be, you know, hiking the Appalachian trail. It could be taken five kids cross country, you know, to explore. Think about the things that you want in your life, more in your life and the risk that you're going to have to take. The courage that is going to require for us to be able to step into that cause it's not going to make sense.

(21:41): Right? I get it can be applied. It needs to be applied to all areas of her life. Whether it's our faith, finances, our relationships, just our personal development. It's just go with it. So I guess my lesson that I didn't realize was gonna get out of this today is that the darn scrapped, you know, I'm so guilty. I have a short tail. I think you've seen it. It's, it says wait, let me, well let me overthink this. Like I just, I just do. And so that does hold you back. So courage people rip up the script and just let go.

(22:11): Yeah. Yes.

(22:15): Yeah. It's a beautiful thing when you get to that place. So we're still growing every day. I think it's an everyday process.

(22:22): Yeah. And being yourself, I'm telling you girlfriend, that is why like your love, your passion, your, your heart shines through in that. And that's why I know that I'm attracted to you. That's why you're my friend and I know that feeling. I've been there like I said three years ago crying cause it's like I just want to be me, you know, and that, that freedom that you get knowing you've been created for a reason, you've been created to stand out. All of us has been, you know, and I think we need to just answer that call say yes and have that courage to be who we are. Yeah. Now back to the everyday living seriously. I think about being courageous today and having the courage to, you know, maybe pick up a phone call and for someone that you haven't talked to in awhile, being spontaneous, hitting the trails, doing something different. So yeah, I think we've touched base on the big and the small. Is there anything that you want to add in? Like any tips. If you could give, let's say your top, your top two, your top two tips to share with someone about the courage

(23:26): Talk to him. I think just as we said, know it's about letting go and being you. You just have to be, you be authentic. You and when you do, you can't go wrong. I mean that's where, that's where it's at.

(23:38): Yeah. No, I love it. Nope. Follow your heart. Follow the lead. Be the person that takes the risk, the world needs to show up and be you and grow. That's where the risk, the risk and the leap of faith is. It's a, it's part of the growing process that we all need to do when it comes to life. And when you do that, you become more courageous. That's that courageous living. What was it that someone said it was the goddess. Oh, I love that. And that comes by, you know, being faithful and being strong and jumping when there's no net. I think that's really good guys. If you want to be courageous, join us in our journey. Okay. And to keep that going in your life. If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle a crazy busy life, then head on over to BeFitandFierce.com and become unstoppable with us.

(24:33): Or if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing your faith, join our just brief Facebook group heads up on the next episode. We are going to talk about discipline and when we have a heart that is full of love, the discipline will begin to show up in our life. So join us next week. Thanks for joining us today. Please subscribe. Share this episode link on your social media as we all know, someone that can benefit and I would love it if you could give some feedback and a review as well. Talk with you next time if it be fierce. Be unstoppable. See ya.

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