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Time for a little truth. Most of us are so ingrained in a ‘fake it till you make it’ mindset that we bury our struggles as far under the surface as possible. We keep up appearances. We downplay, rationalize, and hide our fears. We project such a sublime life to everyone around us – but inside, we could be quietly deteriorating.

In today’s episode, I’m going to be showing you how to become a better person every-single-day as well as the epiphany that has quite literally changed my life and how I interact with those around me.

Show Highlights Include:

  • Why surrounding yourself with the right people changes everything (1:50)
  • How to become a better person every-single-day (4:25)
  • A life-lesson I learned about ‘appearances’ from the world leader in email marketing (6:45)
  • How I’ve been screwing up and doing YOU a disservice (10:00
  • How to avoid one of the greatest motivational traps when going after your goals (13:50)

How would you like to spend more time with your family and less time in your business? Go grab yourself a copy of my Digital Daddy’s Toolkit where you’ll get my top 3 speed-influence tools to make you a trusted expert in any market. FAST. Go to www.daddysworking.com/ddt

Read Full Transcript

No don't go in there, Daddy's working.

Jonathan: Look, I'm not ashamed to admit it. The other day I found out that someone who people thought, actually even he may have thought - he was a competitor of mine - found out, he went out of business and got a job and inside, I was a little joyful. I was a little… I smiled. I was happy. Said, another bites the dust. And I don’t want you guys to think that I'm this negative all the time, but I'm competitive. I'm competitive against myself. I'm competitive against my competitors. Anybody who thinks they're like me, who wants to be like me, who is imitating me, I want to knock their dicks in the dirt, because that's the kind of guy I am. [0:01:09.9]

Now I don’t want this to be confused with just being one of these crabs in a bucket who is always trying to drag people down and you know them. You've got them. They're your family. They're your friends. They're the people that never really did anything after high school and they think that the best days they ever had are behind them. You know the ones I'm talking about? There are so many people that are going to drag you down in the world. We, the Daddy's Working crew, we don’t need to be like that. Yes, it's okay to be competitive against people who you are competing against, but there's also the need to be around good people, people who build you up, people who level you up, people who help you think bigger. And you've been hearing some of those people that I have in my life in the interviews that we have been doing here on Daddy's Working, and that's something that you definitely want to surround yourself with is other winners. [0:02:12.3]

And by the way, I'm driving in my car, so if you hear signal lights and truck horns and everything, I'm trying something new here for Daddy's Working Podcast, taking a zoom on the road with me to record, to see what it ends up sounding like, see if I can do this, see if this is another way that I can be productive and share my thoughts with you. But that's a total side note that we didn't even need to talk about. But, I was … here's the reason why I am telling you about this. The other day, my buddy invited me to dinner at his house and he just got a new house. It's magnificent. He is on a lake. He's got this, I don't know how big it is, it must be like 4000 square foot, 2 story, subdivision. He's got a dock. [0:03:03.1]

He keeps his boat out there and a jet ski out there now, and he's really, for all intensive purposes, the dude is living the dream. He's living the dream. And when I went out there for the first time and saw this house, I was overcome with joy. I was so fricking happy for this guy. I've known him for years. We have been snowboard buddies, and if you've ever watched one of my snowboarding videos, then you've seen him in the videos, because he's almost always with us - him, his wife, we have traveled with them for years, been friends with them for years, and I watched this guy. I watched this guy go from a landscaper - he had a landscaping business, had this big giant beard and was always in jeans and dirty and killing it though, killing it. He killed it in that landscaping business, so much that he was actually able to sell it and sell it for a tidy sum, which he rolled over into being, into actually being a real estate investor and a realtor, and now he's killing it as a realtor. [0:04:11.4]

It's like four or five years later. Dude did like 150 transactions last year. This guy hustles. This guy works and this guy deserves this house. That's why when I saw it, and I know the work that this guy's put in, I was so happy for him . I love it. I love to see my friends win. I love to see the people around me win, and I love to see all of us winning. Because that's an environment where growth happens. That's an environment where you can become a better person, every single day, and when you're not doing your best, you have the best people around you to help lift you up. So that's why I wanted to tell you, I wanted to just straighten things out because it was funny that I did see that competitor of mine take a job and not be a competitor any longer, but I'm about the people around me winning. [0:05:06.4]

So if you're one of my people, if you're in with me, if we're down together, I want you winning. It's the way it is. So, we're sitting out by the lake. The girls are inside talking. I think they popped a bottle of champagne or something. The kids are running around together, playing on the couch. And you know, I am sitting by the lake looking at it and I'm just thinking, man, this is awesome. This is amazing. And he begins to tell me about the bad week he's had. And how down he is. And how he is struggling. And I thought, man, you seem like you have it all together and I'm surprised to hear this, but it's actually not surprising. And this is actually what I want to talk with you about today, is something that I've been struggling with and it's something that if you've got some pride, if you've got some ego, and if you have, if you don’t have the right friends, the right people around you, you might suffer from this too. [0:06:17.5]

But I, I don't know if you guys have ever listened. I have done, or I did a show, with my man Ben Settle. I've talked about him on this show. You can find him on our website, ThePodcastFactory.com/client-showcase. In there, you'll find the Ben Settle show, along with all the other shows that we produce, but one of the things that everybody always loved on the Ben Settle show was this thing, this series he did that was called Email Players Rules, and they were maxims - rules, rules to live your life by, to be successful and to be a better person, and one of the rules that he had in his later show, I think it was in the second hundred. We did, him and I, he and I, did like, I don't know, 250, 230, 230 shows together maybe. So there are a lot of them, and I wouldn’t know where to find this. [0:07:17.6]

Alright. So listen. Gotta pay the bills. So here is a quick advertisement for your ears that I think you're going to find useful. How would you like to spend more time with your family, and less time on your business? Before anyone chooses to do business with you, they need to know one important thing - can I trust you? The only problem is building trust can take forever, and I know you don’t have that kind of time, but what if there was a way to build trust in minutes, instead of years? You'd want that, wouldn't you? Good news, buckaroo, that's exactly what you'll get inside my Digital Daddy's Toolkit. It's got my top 3 speed-influenced tools to make you a trusted expert in any market, quickly. Go to DaddysWorking.com/ddt to grab your copy today.
But he talked about Email Players always keep up appearances, like whether you're down and out or whether you're doing great, it doesn’t matter - you keep up appearances. You don’t let people know what's good or bad. You just keep up appearances, and it's like that in parenting, too, for instance. Like, what Rachel and I do with the boy, is we have the unified front, whether we agree or not, unified front. Keep up appearances. And then we go talk about it later. But in front of the boy, we keep up appearances, and so this is what I struggled with. My whole life, I've been in this world where I feel like I have to keep up appearances and when anybody is sharing emotions or sharing downtime, I feel like, boo hoo, who cares, so sorry for yourself, and it's not like I'm a sociopath or anything, but I think people do that for attention. [0:09:09.5]

And that's why I struggled to share the hard times that I've gone through or the low periods because look, I don’t, I'm not always going all the way up. My trajectory is all the way up, but there is up, down, dips, fun, sad, happy, terrified - all that. There's a rollercoaster of emotion in life. There's a rollercoaster of emotion in your business. It's not a straight trajectory. And so I've struggled with sharing the down times. And when I heard my friend talking about how he was in a bad place and his week was really terrible and I seem - he told me I seemed like I always had it together and I was always happy, and that's when I realized - holy crap, I've been screwing up because I don’t share some of those down times, and I don’t want to share like boo hoo, look at me - I want to share it as life lessons. [0:10:10.3]

I want to share it as part of the struggle of being great because if you're listening to this show, I know you want to be great. I know you want to be great at being a father, at being a husband. I know you want to be great at your family, finances, fitness, faith. But greatness doesn’t come easily, and greatness doesn’t come in a straight line, hockey stick trajectory. There's going to be dips and so when he told me that, I realized that I was not sharing those lessons with you. I was not sharing those lessons with him. And it was a huge mistake, and so, I let it out for him and not in a boo hoo kind of way, but I told him, bro, I'm having the best two months of my life, yes, right now, I am waking up every day and saying, good God, this is the happiest day of my life because I figured some things out. [0:11:06.6]

But two months prior to that, I was on a deep, deep downward trajectory where I couldn't find happy. I couldn’t find direction. I couldn’t find purpose to my day. I was hurting. I was in pain. I didn't know what was going on. I had a terrible, huh, I had the worst streak of calls where I couldn’t close any business and I started rethinking everything, where I was talking to Cupcake, saying, eh, maybe we need to rethink our business model, maybe we're out of touch, maybe we don’t know what people want. I was doubting myself. I was scared, and every time I got on the phone, I thought, ohhh please, I can't take another rejection, and then I go into a call - what do you think is going to happen when you go into a call thinking that way? People are going to pick that up. They're going to smell that all over you and they're not going to want to work with you. [0:12:02.9]

So it's no wonder I had that losing streak. It's no wonder I was down in the dumps. I couldn't figure it out. And that happens to all of us. I haven't shared that with you and I apologize for that, sincerely. Because I've done you a disservice by always talking about the up, but you need to know about the down, too. You need to know that we all go through the downs, and if I can help you understand that the downs are normal and there's a way back from them, then I'm actually doing you and me both a favor by being more honest. I didn't understand until a couple of weeks ago when I was in Ohio with Mark Evans and the DM Family - he had a guest speaker, Sean Whalen from, I believe his site is Lions Not Sheep, something like that, I don't know - look him up on Instagram. He's a totally cool guy. I loved him. I didn't really know him before the event, but when I heard him speak, he got to me and he talked about this vulnerability and he talked about how he was such a bad ass for so many years and doing hundreds of deals and thought he was invincible. [0:13:13.4]

Then his life fell apart. His marriage fell apart. He nearly lost his daughter, alienating his family by just being addicted to work and it wasn’t until he lost just about everything that he realized what it meant to be vulnerable and when he said that, I heard it but I didn't understand it. And then in that moment on the lake with my friend, I realized - oh, oh. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is what I haven’t been doing. And this is what I owe you guys. You need to know about the ups and downs and how to come back from them. So I'll give you a quick tip here, and this is from Dan Sullivan, not from me. I wish I came up with it, but he has this exercise. We have talked about it on the show before, but if you're new here, maybe you haven’t heard this. It's called The Gap. [0:14:06.4]

And essentially, we are achievers. If you're listening to this show right now, I know you're just like me - you want to achieve. You want to be better. You want to be great. And in your pursuit to be great, you're always chasing your goals. You're always chasing your dreams. You're always chasing what you want. And those goals, those dreams are like the horizon. You can keep moving towards it, but it keeps moving away from you, and that can get very, very frustrating. That can be a nightmare because it seems like you can never reach it. So what you have to do is when you get to that point where you're thinking, God, I can never reach this and I'm so far behind I don’t know what to do - you need to stop. Then you need to turn around and look back. Look at where you came from. Look at where you were. And look at how far you have moved. [0:15:02.1]

And that prevents you from falling into the gap because the gap is you chasing that horizon and never reaching it. So when you turn around and look back, you can see the bridge, the path that you have built from where you were to where you are now and you can see all your achievements right before your eyes. So that's really, that's, I wanted to be a little vulnerable today and share this idea that we are, we all have ups and downs. We are always going to be moving towards our goals and we're going to think that we're getting burnt out and the way to avoid being burnt out is to look back, see where you came from and notice the path that you have built, how far you have come, the trajectory you're on so that it can energize you, reinvigorate you and motivate you to keep going forward. That's really it. That's what I have for you today. [0:16:02.9]

It was on my mind and I wanted to share it with you. Yeah - we all have ups and downs. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is batting a thousand, so to speak. But, you're not alone. That's what I wanted you to know today. So that is another episode of Daddy's Working Podcast in the can. This one's coming to you from the car or the truck, the Expedition, flying down the highway. I'll be back with you next time. thank you for tuning in. And here's what I have to say is if this is helpful, if you know somebody that is in a gap right now, if you know somebody that needs to be uplifted, share this episode with them. Give it to them. Give them a couple of words of encouragement and tell them why they need to listen to it. Thank you and I'll be back in your ear buds next time.

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