Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • Why your “Emotional Intelligence” is the key to winning at home and work (and 2 ways to boost your Emotional Intelligence today) (2:43) 
  • How appearing weak is actually the best way to signify strength (6:41) 
  • Why apologizing when it’s not your fault instantly defuses tension and helps you become a fun family again (8:04) 
  • The “Right or Free Question” that nukes your stubborn ego and makes it easy to apologize for your mistakes (8:33) 
  • Do you avoid pain? Here’s a morning mantra that helps you welcome and transform pain into an opportunity (11:109) 
  • Why you’ll never achieve work-life balance (and why striving for harmony instead brings you closer to your family) (29:33) 

If you’d like to learn more about how Justin helps you create content that connects, check out his agency at https://guildcontent.com. Or you can find his LinkedIn page here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-ricklefs-a4748a191.

If you’re feeling stuck, are lacking confidence, or you’re inconsistent, I want to help you. I’m launching The Confident & Consistent Leader Program on June 7th to help you grow in the four main areas of your life: You, marriage, parenting, and business. To check out this program before it launches, head over to https://www.corymcarlson.com/leadership/.  

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times when your work is now in your home, check out my book Win At Home First on Amazon. Forbes Magazine rated it one of 7 books everyone on your team should read.

Read Full Transcript

Hey, this is Corey. If you feel stuck, are you lacking confidence or maybe even lacking consistency? I'm excited to tell you about a new program that I am rolling out. It covers the four main areas of your life. You marriage, parenting, and work. The reason I developed this program is because so often in my one-on-one coaching, I find myself repeating the same stuff over and over. And so what I want to do is put together a group program that includes video group calls some community. So it gives more access to more people who are stuck, whether they're stuck in their personal life or their professional life. And so I'm excited to launch this out. It comes out on June 7th. You can sign up now, go do Corey M carlson.com forward slash leadership. And from there, you'll get all the details on the program. What's included what you'll get out of it, all the benefits and features. So go to Corey M carlson.com/leadership to learn more about this program called the confident and consistent leader. Now on to today's episode.

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Cory Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(01:33): You're listening to winter home first podcast today is to have a fun guest, Justin reckless, who go all the way back to high school, where I first met him and then to watch him grow in his career, he worked for the Kansas cheese for a long time. And then he also launched his own business Guild content is what he does now. And he also has five kids. He's married is just busy in all areas in his life, but yet having success and so want to bring him on the podcast today. So Justin, thank you very much for your time, man. Thank you for yours. It's good. Good to be with you and certainly a pleasure to share and chat with your audience for sure. Yeah, man, this goes back to the North. My man. That's crazy to think about. Yeah, that's right. And neither one of us thought we'd be doing what we do now. We get degrees in existed. Yeah, exactly. So Justin, what is a key trait that leaders need to have in order to win at work? And when a home question, man, I, you wrote the book. So you know, that actual answers, but for me, the, the ways that I'm learning really about the, the emotional intelligence, which frankly is a challenge for me and my brain waves would show that broke this week. Doing,

(03:00): Starting some very early neural feedback work, which is interesting. And again, an area I didn't know existed, but anyway, long and short, the brainwaves left the right don't talk very well. So like there's just for me. And it's the story kind of, even of how things got off the rails and sideways in my, my own personal life, but a few years back is the, the emotional intelligence piece and the awareness, I think both self and the awareness of what's really going on from a culture perspective with your team, with your family. And again, I'm, I'm wading into these waters right now as a 40 year old. Right. Like trying to figure all this stuff out. So yeah, I mean, I, there's lots of practical pieces too, but I'd say in that, in that realm around emotional intelligence, vulnerability, having the bravery, to be honest and authentic I think that's where, you know, really strong and contagious and captivating leadership exists is in that vein. And again, man, I'm, I'm a rookie here, but those in those waters, I think are some of those answers for sure. So how are you growing in emotional intelligence?

(04:09): I mean, honestly, there's, there's parts of it that are, that are more academic and, and head in knowledge. Right? So in terms of books and practices around habit formation, daily practice and meditation, some of those, those pieces. And again, I think for me, some of the struggle is translating the, the head knowledge. And I know you're an Enneagram fan, but as a, as a seven on the Enneagram head head is kind of where you live, right? Like for me to, to think about the future, to plan for the future, to be excited about the future comes really easy and naturally Matthew McConaughey his book. I don't know if you've read it yet, but he talks about the, the auto bond between the head and the heart. And that, that language really resonates because for me, it is sometimes too big of an auto bond, right?

(05:00): Like it's too big of a, a gap between the head and the heart. So I think to integrate those and to answer your question directly, I think, you know, people around having a wife who is very intuitive and discerning and can, can spot the, the BS in me or the ways that I stay in my head to have a team, you know, we're, we're, we've kind of soaked this language into the culture and fabric of our team around and we, we, everyone has taken in Enneagram assessment. So we kind of have some common language there. And I think, man, I think it's just bumps and bruises. I think it's the, the, the continued conversation that continued ownership of the continued practice of trying to put yourself in someone else's shoes, trying to see someone else's perspective, trying to be self-aware and then, you know, raising your hand going, Hey, I blew it. I didn't do it well this time we forgive me, let's try again. So I think in again, in those, those veins are kind of where, at least for me personally, as a leader, trying to figure out how all that comes to life and is done in somewhat of a consistent and healthy way.

(06:03): I've not read Greenlight's Matthew McConaughey's book yet. But one thing on that head to heart, I had a mentor say it's only 18 inches apart from your head to your heart, but it's the hardest 18 inches to travel. And that's always been so impactful to me. You talk about having the humility to raise your hand, say, Hey, I messed up. I screwed up. Do you find that more difficult to do at work or at home?

(06:29): Man you know, three, three or four years ago, version of me would have, would probably have said at home. I think that today version of me is, is, is a little more balanced in, in not, not making the mistake right, to be clear, but the, the quickness that to have the awareness to raise my hand I'd say is, is, is become more balanced. You know, apologies at work are weird, right? Like if they're not common, you don't see them a lot. There's typically lots of posturing or defending or convincing or excuse making or, or whatever. But even in the interview we had with a candidate today, she was quick to kind of say, Hey, when someone on the team messes up, it's my responsibility to own it to the client. It's my responsibility to, to kind of raise my hand. And so I think, again, those are the traits that signify it's, it's actually strength, right?

(07:21): To be able to admit and, and show the vulnerable parts that are like, eh, didn't quite have it altogether there because that's human. That's real. And I think the opposite when, when I'm in my unhealthy places of either convincing you're defending or protecting something, it's because I'm, you know, I'm scared or I'm afraid to admit that I kind of blew it. Right. So, yeah. I mean to get again, to get back to your question, I think for, for me, that journey has, has become a little quicker in both areas of my life, but certainly, you know, personally kinda hurts worst after, till your 17 year old daughter or your wife or someone that shares your last name that you that you screwed up.

(08:03): Yeah. I find it so much easier in the longterm though, once we say, Hey, we're sorry, we screwed up. I mean, there was a point where I would be too prideful and say, I'm not going to cave in going to fall on my sword and new drag on for days. And now it's just like, you know what? It's also just more efficient. Not only is it the right thing to do at some more honorable thing, but man, it's a lot more efficient. We can get back to being the fun family. If I just say, all right, I screwed up. I'm sorry.

(08:32): Totally, totally. And you know, there's so much good language around this, but one that's helped me. There's an author, her name's Byron Katie, and she has this brilliant quote. At least I liked it that she said, Hey, do you want to be right? Or do you want to be free? And it's such a, such a profound, like, is it, am I going to like really dig in and let my ego try to tell everybody that? Right? Or is it worth just saying, Hey, you know what? Like, I don't see it the same way, but here's how I kind of contributed to the, to the mess. And I'm sorry, let's move through. But yeah, you're right. It's also more efficient.

(09:06): Well, that's the Enneagram three and me, I go by your being a seven on the three. I, I just want to get stuff done and get a little bit, yeah, that's good for you. And your grandma's seven one, the things that I work with any grams seven to talk with them, it's running from pain. And so, so often it is, I want to go do this or I want to go do that because it's running from the pain is not sitting in your feelings, not sitting in your heart type mode that you just mentioned, and it's, it's the off to the running. So do you find yourself running from a, from pain running from the heart running from the feelings?

(09:41): Yeah, man, it's, it's it's hardwired in there. It really is. And, and it's, that's not an excuse. It's I think it's the reality for me is that, and I've, I've talked about this before in other contexts, but you know, I, I tried to outro, I really did like subconsciously tried to outrun my feelings for a long time and wore the masks of success promotion. Cool job, you know, cool family, pretty pretty wife, five kids, you know I didn't know that, that I was doing that like logically, right. But the, the current underneath was trying to outrun the pain. And for me, the pain was dialed all the way back to, you know, early formation, you know, or family of origin stuff, where there's lots of trauma there. And I sprinted as fast as I could to outrun that stuff and hunted me down, man.

(10:37): And, and literally, you know, almost took me down because I was, I was so oblivious to it and, you know, so through again, a really profound, loving, and faithful wife through therapy, through great friends through just my own work and starting to recognize those instincts of how quickly I want to hit the eject button when something's painful, as, as easy as like I don't want to let the lawnmowing service guy down that we're going to make it switch. Right. all the way up, you know, the, the, the real meaningful stuff. I mean, that, that instinct to avoid and, and, and the, and try to outrun the pain is real man. And what's, what's interesting. And I, I say this now out loud every morning, the pain is actually a welcome gift. Like it actually is where it gets a blessing, right? Like it's a precious gift because in the pain is where you find it to Missy is where you find growth. It's where you, you push through things. And so that run it or to try to avoid it is actually, it's actually a disservice to, to grow.

(11:43): You made comments a couple of different times about a few years ago, and it caught up to you, what did that look like in your life? Yeah, man, We share some similar, similar paths in the past for me the way is that my man I'll just say it this way. The ways that my dysfunction was compartmentalized, I was shoving places of my soul into corners that I was hopeful. No one would ever see and live the very compartmentalize then this integrated life. Right. And specifically how that played out was at work, having a, an identity at home, having an identity have at church, being a certain person in that the bar being a certain person, right. And, and those, I say this lovingly, like those charades caught up to me and manifested itself in ways that were, you know, it sucks to say it out loud, but like there were areas of my life. I was hiding from my wife. There were areas of my life. I was lying to myself and to others about there were warning signs all over the place that I was smiling and trying to out run.

(13:00): And so it caught me actually the same year, my dad had open heart surgery for a clogged major, 97% clogged artery and proverbially. Like that's the same year. I had my kind of open heart surgery of like, Hey man, there's a, there's a better way. There's a more whole way. There's a way that you can live with authenticity and honesty. And I remember standing, you know, sitting actually in my therapist's office and of shaming the hell out of myself, right. I was like, Hey, I'm 36 years old. And I'm just now learning how to tell the truth. And he, he was so gracious and gentle and he was like, Hey man, you know, there's 76 year old guys sitting in this couch that are just learning how to tell the truth. And so like add edits, you know, there are lots of like practical ways, you know, I kind of betrayed trust and hurt people around me, including myself. But the, but yeah, those are the themes man. Like the themes were this really kind of compartmentalize and segmented identity. That was again, back to your question, all, all designed with the intent to outrun pain, as opposed to knowing like, Hey, this pain is not going to kill me. I don't have to outrun it. And it's actually okay. Hard lessons, you know, easier to say five years later, but in the moment it was certainly very dismantling and unsettling.

(14:25): Yeah. Thanks for sharing. What are you doing now, Justin, to live an integrated life versus having a compartmentalized, as you said you did for a while, what does integration look like?

(14:37): I think at its most basic core, there's, it's a freeing way to live with no secrets, right? Like the, to have, you know, for, for me and my personal kind of journey here, like there's nothing hidden. Like there's nothing, there's no conversation. I would be afraid of someone listening to, there'll be, there's no emails. I'm afraid of someone reading and there's no text messages I'm deleting like the, the, the, the integration is kind of this, you know, and the pandemic did that to us, like in a, in a macro level, right. Where all of a sudden work and life and home and marriage and parenting and teaching all like became one blended mess. Like I think that's actually more human is like, we all on this journey towards like finding our own true self. And that true self is the same individual or human at like the soccer field or the boardroom or the like, you know, bathroom as you're getting ready for the day. And so for, you know, again, practice wise, like just, you know, I hate to quote Matthew McConaughey all day long. Like, he's my buddy, because he's not. But like, but it is it's that Autobon is that 18 inch gap between the head and the heart of like, that's where the integration it starts to soak in. And, and bro, like I got along a long way to go on that journey, but that is the journey. I think

(15:58): It is a journey and, and I do you know, continue to grow and get better. And I mean, obviously all of us do right. It's as Paul talks about and second Corinthians, we're all growing closer to God, one degree at a time. And so it's what we're doing. And I like our therapist made that come about you sitting there versus 76 year old. And what I do for a living I'll get executives at all different ages and parts of their career. And they just open up to the stuff that they're battling with. And so much of it is all similar. I'll have guys all the time on the, on our coaching call say, now I'm probably the only one telling you this. This is, you never know. I hear this all the time. And so my encouragement to you, and just to other that I talk with is a lot of those painful mistakes that we've made.

(16:48): It's got to release them, got to release them. They're not tied to our identity. And that was a big problem I had for a long time, as I just figured I can never be a good husband because I did this. I could never be a business owner, this successful business owner because I almost filed bankruptcy. And so it just became this point of it held me back. But the freedom, not only was it emitting the pain, it was confronting the pain and then just moving forward with it. And so to release it as there's such power there. Yeah.

(17:22): And you're, you're, you're so right. It's so true. And it's, so it'd be, because you know, on one hand it's like, yep, we're wonderfully made, you know, we're unique and we're we're individually identity type folks. Right. But on the other hand, it's like, we're not special snowflakes. Like you're, you're a guy who just said that. And I mean that in a loving way of like the things I'm experiencing, if I'm holding them in and close, I may think it's like this super weird thing. It's like, nobody else has experienced it. So I have to like protect it and I'm ashamed of it. Right. But to live open in it and to admit it, then you find the harmony in the community of people who are like, Oh yeah, for real, me too. And Oh yeah. I went through that. I know a guy who went through that or I'm struggling with that too. And whatever the case might be, I think there's, there's such value in that connection. But the, but the withholding of it prevents that connection. And again, learning that these lessons in real time. Right. But I think that's where that's where that trust and that connection gets built is when someone has the bravery to be open and say, Hey, have an issue here.

(18:25): Yeah. Yeah. There's a moment in my story where God told me to handle her, my story for a greater story. And for me, the story I was holding on to is keeping the affair and private and not wanting to come clean of it. And when I did now in Holly, I mean, I talk about this a lot in the book and other things. I mean, it obviously wasn't easier we made through, but the other part of that would God was getting to in that was not only did it improve always in my marriage. And I'm already talking to my kids about things like that, but all the leaders I've talked to since that day where I came clean, because now it's like an open book, it's vulnerability and, but helping people get there. And so, so many people, I think if I would have never shared that story, well, one I'd probably still be in corporate America, but the other is even if I was to get in coaching somehow some way, man, it'd be so much more veneer and trying to look like I had all my crap together, as opposed to just being honest and open with everybody.

(19:30): When you do that, man, that's when real breakthrough can happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's, what's, what's profound, you know, Corey, the 10 year ago version of, of you and you use the word, I'm not picking on you, but like the veneer version of that looked cool. It looks shiny, look neat, but probably lack the approachability and the honesty of like, eh, I don't know if I really trust that guy now. It's like you lead with, Hey man, like read the book, all the messes in there. And it, the paradox of it all is it's actually so much more attractive, right? It's so much more trust-building and, and inviting because in, in your struggle, we can all resonate with our own. And, and that, that's the great paradox of all. This is the authenticity is actually the gateway into something deeper.

(20:18): Yup. And it was just true for every single leader out there, man, they're just more open, more vulnerable and that their team will want to follow them more because they are that much more engaging. And if authentic and all that good stuff. Thank you very much for listening to today's episode. I hope you are joining it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very much for others of you. You have. And I encourage

(20:48): If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work and what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read in the book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas and tips to help with your marriage. Third is parenting and the last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional resource, I encourage you to check out my book went home first. It is available on Amazon as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much.

(21:40): It's an identity along the way, Justin, and you had a cool job with the chiefs. And then obviously now you're a business owner and running, running a company. How have you been with your identity now? Not taken to the business owner, man, it's hard. I've got like this ongoing kind of chicken scratch list of blog posts and things I want to like share and write about. And one of them is, is that it's, you are not your identity. Your job is not your identity. And it's really like all writing for me is like therapy for myself. I hope hopefully it's helpful for someone else too. But, but that, that specific topic is very real to me because that, that was kind of like, Oh, you work for Mizzou, you work for the university of Memphis, you worked for the chiefs. And, and, and it was hard to show up at the bus stop and not be like the guy who man, you know, Camden's dad works with the chiefs.

(22:36): That's pretty cool. And I put legitimately like played the like, Aw, shucks kind of humble card. And inside I'm like, right. I am. You know, and, and that, that, that was a disease man. Like it's it's not their fault. It's my own. They didn't do that. They didn't ask me for that. When the identity got wrapped around my heart and my soul and became something that tethered me to something that ultimately could give what I was asking it to give, it became pretty, pretty difficult to unwind. And so, you know, my, my journey now, same thing, like even even four years now into this journey of of running this agency, or sometimes it running me the, how I need a coach, right?

(23:25): The the, that the reality is like, let me say it this way. I think the temptation is to attach identity to something that feels like significance, right? Like work or marriage or family or whatever. But all of it is really just a signpost to like a truer and deeper identity. And so it's hard, like even a therapist, you know, my, my counselor a couple of months ago said to me, he's like, Hey, what if you operated from joy? What would it look like for you to not be tied to the success or failure of this company, but what if you pursued what you were meant to pursue? And, you know, it's like, it's, it sounds okay to, it's awesome to hear that when you're on a couch, right. It's a little bit tricky when the bullets are flying in real life, but it is.

(24:12): I think that is the journey of like truer and deeper identity. Where, where, where, where, where am I looking now for something of, of, you know, short-term significance to give me something that it won't ever be able to provide. Like, and, and again, I'm, I'm a junkie on some of that stuff in a bad way. Like I want, I want to attach to these other places that ultimately can't deliver. And so, yeah, man, that's a, that's a journey. It's a journey. But one that I think we all need to listen to of like double your counsel of, Hey, you're not, you're not tired. Your identity is not based on whether you made a million bucks or one buck this year, your identity is given to you in a much deeper way. So that for me all comes back to like, do I really believe that I'm God's son? I don't really believe it that really let that like, that Jesus' identity soak in or do I let the, you know, outside stuff, try to give me my identity. Cause it never, it never can. Even as many times as I look forward to,

(25:13): Yeah, we get that dopamine hit at the bus stop or wherever it may be when they call you out as an employee for the chiefs. But yeah, those temporary identities, I mean, they don't last long and they're not there in times of pain for sure. And that is when love son or beloved daughter is helpful. One thing is, you've mentioned therapists on by the joy. I know one thing that I've had success in my own life and then working with other people to do is not everyone has to leave their job to go have joy. Sometimes it's just a mindset shift. What are you doing with that job? Maybe it's being intentional with those that you lead or your intention with your customers and finding joy in what you're doing because not everyone is called to always leave. And this is part of your Instagram seven. You can't always just go leave, go do this, go do that. Sometimes the joy is right there. It's just doing it differently. And, and using the name that calling that God has for you and just seeing it through that lens, as opposed to this is just a job, eight to five, let's go.

(26:19): Yeah. And I think, I think you're right. And I think the, when that truth sinks in, you've got the ability to be the best. You know, we work with a plumbing glide. Like you can be the best plumber. You can be the best banker. You could be the best executive. You could be the best teacher when it's not like this, you know, I'm, I'm looking for it to give me something that it never can give. But if in the right perspective, in the right place, it actually frees you to then go be you in those places, wherever those might be to find kind of that, that again, the deeper calling, the more intentional purpose, it doesn't, you don't have to start a company to find that, in fact, like maybe don't, it's really a terrifying journey. Right. But it, it, I think you're spot on like, if, if, if you can reframe some of that perspective and the identity, you know, what one practical phrase that I kind of like to hold on to these little nuggets, but one that always hits me every time is, you know, operate from love, not for love, like when I'm starting to operate for someone's approval for someone's affection for the applause, man, I get funky pretty quick.

(27:28): When I'm operating from love, like, man, I can, you know, cook dinner or lead a board meeting. Like those two extremes, like are both from a place of love, not like me looking for someone else to tell me I'm okay. You know, so,

(27:44): So similarities for sure. The drive and use it for really by the last decade, when I first learned it was work from a place of approval, as opposed to for approval. And we work from a place or approval because we are beloved sons and below are beloved daughters. And therefore we can work from a place of approval as opposed to what I used to do is always striving for it, whether it was from working really hard and my accomplishments, my achievements, or is through little approval of, I hope this person thinks I'm cool or they think I'm the best employee or best husband or, you know, whatever it may be putting that temporary identity around

(28:22): That's right. That's right. And for me, at least the, the, the struggle is like knowing when I'm tending back towards those times, right? Like it's, for me, at least not as black and white as like, man, I'm now operating from level all the time. It's like, Oh shoot. There. I am like, there, there he is again, like chasing the approval or chasing the opening head of somebody else telling him he's okay. Versus like, yeah, just keep coming back, come back to true love. Come back to true ideas. Come back to that, that deep foundation, which is for me, pretty tricky.

(28:53): Well, it was fun talking. I didn't, I, wasn't not Blanton talking about it that long, but it's just good to get a lot of good insight ideas. One thing I always find fascinating is business owners who have lots of kids and you have five and a wife, how do you lead well at home with, I mean, you guys have different predictable patterns or anchors you put throughout the week or things that kind of bring that the reckless back, back around the table and yeah,

(29:18): Such a, such a great question, man. And I could enjoy help here. Cause again, it's, it's just hard. It's a hard when kids are going to diff a million different directions and business, isn't quite as like eight to five and predictable one, one theme I'm trying to employ here is like harmony over balance. And balance is tough because some nights it's like, like last night we had a video shoot that went til eight 30. Right. And that was gone late. And so finding times that, that are frankly like as simple and silly as this sounds like screen-free like, can we have 20 minutes where the phones are in a different place so we can play around poker together or, you know, something that just, you know, centers the thing a little bit. And, and yet we've got, you know, 17 year old thinking about college and all the way down to a 19 year old who is in third grade.

(30:10): And so Brooke does such a great job of like being in tune and in touch with the emotional kind of rhythm of, of what's going on. And so for me personally, trying to like get into that river with her as deep as I can and, and find some anchors where we can hold on to, for us, like getting away is, is good. We just went to Florida for spring break and it was just this kind of nice reset. Not that it fixed everything by any means. Like there's plenty of drama on vacation too, but just find, find in like little ways to get to be together. And, and gosh, darn like we're, we're probably, I'm probably screwing up more than I'm getting. Right. But I think that intentional effort to connect intentionally, trying to get away from devices in particular is just is a huge centering moment for us at least.

(30:57): Yeah. Do you guys have a family mantra or vision that you guys use and I, we, we we, you, you mentioned that your, your friend that you met at the airport, who, who wrote the one word book, we did that one year, frankly, man, like I haven't given and that's one of my counselors challenges to me, he's like, Hey, be as creative with your family as you are at your work. And it's hard cause it's like, Oh man, it's easier to, you know, brainstorm a video project idea for a client than it is to like create a schedule for home. Right. So the, the, the raw answers like, no, we don't, we need one. But I mean there some guiding kind of core stuff that we, we believe in we're about, but B we're, we're in the middle of, you know, this interesting season with three teenage daughters and one son and then a girl bringing up the rear. So I need some help there.

(31:48): Yeah, for sure. Well, I do know you are so creative and not to pile onto the, the identity you may add in writing, but that's how I found you again, if you will, is obviously our Passman different directions, but handcuff few years ago, whenever it was, you had a, a blog or a writing that, you know, did pretty darn well, I mean at a whole bunch of likes and I, I found it and start reading and therefore kind of followed you. And then now, now here we are. So yeah. That creativity and applying that to your own life, I think that's a fantastic idea. I always find it so interesting and you're not alone in that, but how many things that we require at work that we allow to slip at home. So at work, Hey, what's our vision, what's our values. And I want to make sure I have one-on-one meetings with all my direct reports and we've got to have a, a monthly meeting on, Oh, we're also once a quarter, we're going to have a strategic meeting.

(32:44): Like all these work things that we do do, and then come home. It's like, Oh, let's just wing it. Let's just hope we can get through it that way. And as one of the things that I, well, we use doing it for sure. And then it was like no more, no more. And instead got intentional and really spend time with, Hey, what are the predictable patterns and help you put together that, that vision statement for the family and, and go about doing that because it makes a big difference. Do my kids know my vision, our family vision statement? No, not very well, but they know we have one. They know that we are, you know, we have some structure, they know the predictable patterns we have. They know that there are some different family nights we have where one night, one kid will cook with Holly and then the rest of us, you know, all eat together and have fun with it. And we rotate, who's doing the cooking, just goofy, things like that, that they know. And they look forward to.

(33:39): Yep. Yep. You were, it's just brilliant and beautiful man for us. Like when, when COVID hit last March and that shut down was terrifying obviously, but, but it threw us into this like, Oh, we need some predictable patterns. Cause now there's nothing. I love that language. You use predictable patterns. And that, that was a period of time where we did have more dinner together. We did have these like cool, you know, we did theme nights and dressed up and the costumes and random stuff. And it's like, gosh, darn it. Like here we are a year later and I'm already forgetting, you know what I mean? Like I think that's the drifting part of like, Oh gosh, darn it. I'm doing it again where I'm giving better parts of myself to other areas and not being as consistent there. So this is a helpful conversation. The reframe for me, Justin, what are you hearing from God? Right now?

(34:30): I literally took a breath. Cause I think for me, he's always there, right? Like whispering. And I think it goes back to this notion of, you know, my seven, this when I'm, you know, ad it's unhealthy, it's pretty manic in my running and in my speed. And so to get to your question, the, the, the whisper of the spirit really for me is like, Hey, it's okay. Like, you're okay. I love you. It's okay to be, you know, the journey of a seven is to learn how to be content. And it was just such a biblical concept too. But I think this contentment of Hey right now, today is enough like the presence and the practice of awareness for me has been a big journey these last couple of years. And so I think that, you know, in those, in those whispers, he's talking about things like slower, quieter, less distraction, more depth, more, you know, connecting the head and the heart man.

(35:33): Like it's more of that. And unfortunately it's like, cool, all right, next thing, like what's the next zoom and what's the next deal. But in those whispers, and for me, it's in the morning, but in those whispers, that's where God's kind of doing his is reminding he doesn't, he's not teaching anything new. All his stuff is ancient. Right. And it's profound. And so he's whispering those old truths in my, in my spirit when when I'm quiet enough to listen, which sounds like what you need here is slowed down and absolute you're enough, all those pieces, which I will get as well at different times. Yeah. A hundred percent. Justin, thank you so much for just the conversation and a lot of great stuff around identity. What's the best way for people to get ahold of you. So I'm, I'm posting daily on LinkedIn.

(36:21): So just Justin, Rick lifts, we've got a blog that all the same stuff goes there, but my, my name.com and then our company Guild content, G U I L D content.com is the work stuff. So that's where we're creating a ruckus and making videos and projects and, and graphics and all sorts of fun things. So yeah. But, but anywhere in there feel free to email me or whatever. What's the quick blog on guilt content for the listeners. Yeah, man. I mean, we're in the, like the tagline is we create content that connects. And so we're an agency based in Casey doing a lot of cool work with, you know, telling brand stories. So we're doing video graphic, design, storytelling, social media, content development, all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, we're fortunate. We've got an amazing team of 12 and it's just it's been a blast and the journey to try to figure out, man, how do I lead this group looking around, Hey, there's nobody else here, man. Like, I'm the head of the ship even at the top, for sure. For sure. Well, thank you very much, Justin. I appreciate this conversation.

(37:28): Thanks for having me, man. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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