Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • Ego management secrets that allow you to win at home (2:09)
  • Why your current success sets you up for future failure and how to change it (5:34)
  • A simple “Chipotle Method” to make every person you come in contact with feel cared for (10:16)
  • The “Lean In” trick for creating beauty from the ashes of adversity (16:15)
  • How limitations can make your life more full and interesting (23:41)
  • The “Mind Movie” technique that lets you make the most of every situation in your life (27:58)
  • A morbid exercise that will improve all your personal relationships overnight (31:21)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this is Corey. You're going to enjoy this episode with Alex Harbin. We talk about a lot of different topics. Some of the highlights today were what's the other movie in your head. This idea, we have a lot of negative thoughts circling our brain. What happens if we start to look at the positive ones we discuss, how characters first exposed before then can be built and made stronger. We talk about the idea of serving other people, people in our home, people in our employment, people at Chipola.

(00:52): I mean, it's a great discussion. There's so many other good takeaways. I look forward to hearing the feedback from this episode. I hope you enjoy. Thanks. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Welcome to winter home. First podcast today. I've got Alex Harbin on and excited to have him on he's here in Cincinnati, a gym owner of iron sharpens iron, a former NFL player, but I consistently have heard about what a great guy is, how inspirational he is. Not only learn more myself, but also just bring that to the winter home first audience. So I appreciate you being on the call, Alex.

(01:26): Hi, thanks for having me. I'm excited to to have this conversation with you and see where it goes.

(01:32): Yeah, very cool. Yeah. You never know where they go, even though I've got some scripts, some ideas, sometimes I go off script, which probably makes for the better ones. That's right. That's right. Well, you know, diving in, you have a new young family, plus you have surround yourself with other leaders. What's a key trait you believe is required to win at home. First.

(01:52): I, I can, you know, I try to speak from my own experience, but then the things that the game changed for me when I started to embrace humility and not the false sense of humility, but kind of letting go of my ego and understanding what I'm really good at, what I'm not so good at. And then back-filling in and surrounding myself with people that can kind of see my blind spots and help me in the areas that I'm not so good. And I don't think maybe I ever will be good in them. So having that honesty, that humbling moment and being, you know, having the humility about yourself and what you're good at, that's when it changed for me.

(02:28): Oh, that's cool. I love the idea of humility for sure. I mean, that makes all the sense in the world. And I think people can say that humility, but how are you, sir? You said surround yourself with other people. What does that look like in your life? I mean, that gives you the opportunity to, for people to speak into you.

(02:47): Well, I mean, I can start, you know, we can start at home. I can, I can speak about, you know, trying to understand myself as, as well as I can. What are some of my quirks, right? Like what are some of the, that make me a difficult person and being really honest about those things? What are some things that are different than the way that I prefer them and maybe how my wife refers to them? Like, you know, for instance dinner, or who does the dishes, or, you know, just little things like that, that add up that are, that are really big parts of our day. Do I leave my shoes at the front door, just that small of a thing and allowing my wife to speak in to me and say, Hey, can you do this? Or can you pick up in this area?

(03:31): And then also understanding, and being able to vocalize that, like, I'm not very good at the little tiny, what I would call the minute details of things like paying the bills and all that stuff. I'd love to make the money. I can't remember the face of the bill, you know what I mean? So it's that kind of stuff that task oriented, the detailed list of things to do. So being able to voice that and speak that out and really say, Hey, I need help in these areas. And I think that that's something that I can I can do at my home. And then the same way as the gym with the business, I'm a big vision guy. I like to think about the next thing. I don't, I don't feel super content standing still, but I surround myself with people that are thinking a little bit more in terms of how will this actually play out right now, as opposed to how I'm just thinking about the future, if that makes any sense.

(04:26): Oh, it makes all the sense. I mean, I like I talk about at home, you gotta be vulnerable to say, I need help as well as you're giving your wife permission to speak into your life. Like, Hey, if you see me kind of going off the rails here, you know, you've got permission to, to talk me back onto the road here and then at work it's you understand your strengths. You're the visionary. You, you can see forward, but Hey, I'm giving you also permission coworkers. Hey, let's, let's talk about the day-to-day help poke holes into the strategy so it can get stronger.

(05:00): Absolutely. Yeah. I like to move forward. I like to take new grounds. So that can feel for someone that isn't oriented that way, that can feel like a lot of change happening all the time. So I have to understand that people experience change differently than I do. And some people are looking at it and saying, Hey, it's working. Why would we change anything? And I'm a big believer of the biggest enemy of our future success is our current success. So we've got to continue to think about things in a new way, innovate ourselves, get more out of our resources. And again, like I said, other people that aren't thinking that way, that feels like cheap, like day in and day out change. So understanding how to bring my strengths and to have somebody spot my weaknesses for me.

(05:49): Yeah. That's awesome. In the book, win at home first I divided into four different sections, but the first one is you like got to understand yourself before you can lead well at home and then lead well at work. So in that ups, a lot of it's around identity. And for you, your identity of mixed in with NFL player now, a gym owner, a beloved son, how has that looked in your life? Because I can only imagine there's been ups and there's been downs where you tied your identity, the temporary thing, and then it was gone. How have you handled identity in your life?

(06:27): Man? That is, that is probably my number one. Like if, if there was a, if bags come in different size, that's the biggest baggage I carry is my identity and trying to tie myself to things. I think it comes from growing up biracial. So I'm half black, half white. However you want to say that, always feeling kind of like the minority in any room that I was in. So that was something that I struggled with. I didn't know, am I, this am I that? And anytime that I've tried to put myself into a category, it kind of fell apart. So instead of trying to shove that, I just would attach myself to somebody new. So like you said, football player, well, okay. Now I'm the football guy at every family party, every event, anytime I see somebody out there asking me how the season is going, you know what next year looking like?

(07:19): And then it came a time where there was no next year I was no longer on a team. I was no longer a football player. I didn't know what people were going to talk to me about. Right? So it's like you said, I mean getting to try to attach my identity, the only here's the only identity that I've found that is never going to change. I am a servant and I know that that's a hot take, but I'm actually a servant and no one can ever take that from you. So anybody that I encounter, I can find a way to add value to their lives, through my service.

(07:48): So when did you realize I'm a servant? I'm no longer the football player.

(07:52): I think it comes down to that ultimate commandment is to love God and to love others. And in that way, it's like, how do we love? Well, love is the verb. It's not just like this idea. And we love people by essentially taking action and trying to help people out wherever they are. So I've decided that whether I was playing football or I wasn't playing football and no matter my, my race or my gender, no matter how much money I had in the bank, no matter what my physical abilities are or aren't. So no matter how old or young I am, I can always willing to help. And I think when I'm walking around the world, looking at the world through that lens, sometimes the helping hand is just saying hi to someone and make eye contact with them. Right? Like I love using the Chipotle they line I'm in line at Chipola.

(08:41): There's 11 people in front of me, 11 people behind me. And it's finally my turn. Well, I have the one thing that poll worker wants to know what is my order? So they say, Hey, what can I get for you today? I don't answer them. I at them and say, Hey, how's it going today? How are you? And I get them to kind of make eye contact with me. It reminds them that they're a person, not just a means to an end. And from that moment, hopefully in that moment, I was able to just add a little bit of levity to their day and really make that eye contact with them. And like I said, give them a reminder that, Hey, we're all just people. We're all ladies and gentlemen, just serving other ladies and gentlemen. And that's what it's about.

(09:21): Yeah. The world would be a better place. We all thought that way. Isn't it.

(09:25): I'm not perfect at it. So don't, don't think that I am, but that's, that's my aim.

(09:29): Yep. No. And I love that aim and I found it as it was, we all wear masks walking around now how people don't even want to say hi anymore. It's just, it's, it's almost like someone's going to get a virus if you say hi. And so I think it's always been important, Alex, but I think right now it is so spot on to do that because people are feeling more and more isolated. We already know loneliness is up, blame it on social media, blame it on whatever, but you throw it to another level when you start throwing on mask and isolation and zoom calls and all of those pieces. So I think you're challenged. All of us invitation, all of us of, Hey, let's start making people feel like human. Let's figure out how we can serve. Part of my story is feel, you know, God's saying hand over your story for a greater story. Alex, when in your life did you kind of feel that it was all right, I'm going to kind of undo my hands, release everything about my life. It's yours. God let's, you know, figure it out. Put me in coach. I I'm in. When was that been for you?

(10:32): I would say it was about a two year process from the year 2010 until about 2012, 2010 was the end of my football career. You know, I was, I played football for more of my life at that point then I hadn't, and that was no longer a reality. I was starting to try to get, you know, the quote unquote, a grown-up job with the benefits and that didn't seem to be working for me. So then I got into the training world and I was learning as much as I could. I was finding some enjoyment. I was finding some passion and purpose in that. And then I decided that I was going to open my own gym. And this was with a lot of encouragement from my older sister. And she kind of called my bluff one day and actually gave me the seed money that I needed to actually start my gym.

(11:21): So I'd been complaining about how I would do things differently if I was here, if I was, if I was running this way, so it would be different. And she finally said, well do it yourself. And I gave her all these excuses on why couldn't. And she said, well, let me eliminate some of those excuses now, what are you going to do? So I had to, it was in about 2012 where I decided that I was going to open my own gym. I found a place. It was rundown, it needed some renovations. I signed a lease. I went back and it felt like it was the same day. It wasn't quite the same day, but I told my sister, Hey, I found a spot signed the lease. I'm excited. I was actually living with my sister at the time. And she said, that's great.

(11:59): I have good news too. I'm quitting my job and moving to Colorado. And I said, well, where am I going to live? She said, well, you'll have to get your own apartment. So now I had a, I had a business lease a commercial property lease. I had to take on a rental and I did not have any income because I was, I hadn't opened my gym yet. It was just, you know, I was just moving in that direction and being in that space really just kind of was like, okay, if this is going to work, it's not going to be because of anything I did. And that's where I just had to kind of take every kind of lead in any direction. Anybody that would take a meeting with me, anybody that could give me some advice, I just kind of had to lay anything that I thought was going to happen down and be open to whatever God was going to bring my way in that moment.

(12:46): Wow. That's great. And I even like that 2010 to 12 as a two year period, I mean, there is no overnight success. I mean, it was a two year for you to kind of get on your feet, figure out what was next, talking to other people, your sister, or other mentors and people in your life to kind of figure out that next move. So many people think it's the snap of a finger. And so you just explained it's good stuff. The standpoint COVID has affected all of us differently and good and bad. And w we can get to both of those. But one of those pieces you talked about in 2012, where you had some different just dependencies on God. Like I got all these leases and all these things to do and not no money coming in and God let's go. I love that. I love the parable of the 10 minus. It's been kind of my rally cry this last six months. And that's how you were at that time of God. This is your minors. And not mine. Can you explain for getting myself, but also just to listen, I was like, these last six months COVID has affected you pretty bad as it has other people and how you've navigated that. And it's, it's a, it's a fun story. I mean, I know it was painful for you, but it's, it's got some good points.

(13:59): So, you know, like you said, like everybody, I received news that we were going to be entering a shutdown. Everything was going to be shut down anything non-essential I didn't have any say over wovens essential, Krista me, my business and my family that was, felt pretty essential. And I, and I know that I'm not alone in that sense. But you know, I got the news that I was not going to be able to operate my business legally. And there was really no end in sight of when I would be able to reopen. So immediately, you know, it's one of those moments where it's like, this has the ability to build character in times like this. Definitely do. But what they're going to do first is exposed character. I mean, that's going to expose you. This is going to open you up and it's going to say, Hey, what have you been doing the past 10, seven to 10 years to prepare for something like this?

(14:52): So we had been open for seven years. We had just moved into a brand new location. We had just celebrated our one year anniversary in a new location. And within about 12 days after that celebration, we had to shut down. So, I mean, it was, it was it was a, it was a shocker to say the least, but in that time, I mean, you know, faces kind of like a muscle. So in that time I had to go back to my training and there's many different times other than not just in 2010 and 12, where faith was the only thing I kind of had in that moment. And as you build that muscle, as it gets stronger, it doesn't mean that you don't have those faulty moments. It doesn't mean that there aren't moments of weakness, but that muscle memory kicks in and you can kind of go back and say, okay, the last time I was in the spot where all of the circumstances, all of the evidence pointed to destruction, what actually came out of that.

(15:48): And I can never, I just can't say I can't, I'm not going to tell you that I haven't had hardship, but I can't tell you that I've ever came out on the other side of adversity, worse off. And that's because you just lean into it. You lean into it. I don't, I don't believe that we were ever promised a life of no problems of no struggles of no sickness. I just don't think that that was anything we signed up for. And sometimes I think people think that that's how life should be or something's wrong, or something's bad.

(16:20): There will be problems.

(16:23): Right? But I take refuge in the fact that I believe, you know, it takes, again, it takes believing that God is who he says he is. And then believing that you are who he says you are. And if you can do those two things, if you can go back to that. So for me, I believe that God is good. And he tells me that he's working all things to the good of his people, according to his purposes. Well, I believe that I'm his people. So therefore I can believe that no matter what's coming, it's going to be good. And it may not be good right now. And it may not be good by definition of what I was thinking was good, but it will ultimately in the end work out to be good. And so I have to kind of be in the world, not of it. I can't let what I'm seeing with my physical eyes determine the course of my life.

(17:16): Oh, that's so good, Alex. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning boat at home and at work and living in life to the full. So thank you very much

(17:50): For listening and back to today's episode. Thank you. And even in your story, it's for all of us is that combination of faith and works. Like I have faith, God's going to get me through this. I have faith that God will turn all things to good, but I also know there's works involved. And so you do not sit on the couch during this time and say, well, we're not essential. I guess all this wait until the governor or the president, or whoever goes first opens up the doors, you got to work. And I think that's part of it. That's so fun

(18:22): Work. We, we, we built a studio. I was still allowed to go into my gym. I just couldn't operate the gym the same way. So we built a makeshift studio using a cell phone, using some lights and we started to record videos and we started to just kind of act like there were a hundred people in the room and we were bringing as much energy as we could. And we just started uploading them to YouTube. And we just shared the link. And we said, Hey, use these. If you can, if this is something that we'll, you know, we'll keep you guys feeling a sense of normalcy. It allowed us to feel like we were connecting with the same people. We're still able to, like I said, serve, how can I be, how can I still have my identity? Even when it seems like all the opportunities to be, that person are stripped away.

(19:03): So even in that moment, I wasn't a gym owner. I wasn't a gym operator. I was just still a servant. And what that I have at my disposal, what resources that I have to still be able to stay on mission to serve those people. Well, I had a cell phone. I had a lot of exercise equipment. I had, you know, I had Facebook, I had Instagram, basically. It was it wasn't about the method of the mission. It wasn't about the mission itself. We were still married to the mission was about the method. So the method change, we just had to be willing to be open to the changing of the methods.

(19:36): Yep. So good. Today you're open because businesses are open. Gyms are open and I thought gyms are essential. I was so excited when they opened it back up. Now, granted, I can't lift as much weight as you, but I love the gym as well. I was talking to a few clients earlier this week, just talking about routines and what are we doing? And, and there's, there's people out there throwing that excuse of, I'm not getting the gym, you know? And, and I said, Oh, really? I've been going to gym. I think since June, I can't remember when it opened up. I think their gyms are cleaner now than they've ever been. It's like, get in there. No more of that. Excuse. I'm sure you're seeing that same thing where you can attest your gym's cleaner than it's ever been.

(20:20): We keep a really tight ship. You know, that was one of the things that I think helped us when we came back again, this type of stuff exposes you. So our clients came back and saying, Hey, this is Jim has always been clean. One of the things that we love to do is we love to be cleaning equipment before people even leave the classes they came. So that was something that we did. It was, it was kind of part of our culture. We want people to catch us cleaning. It's kinda, you know, the, they used to say, let your kids, you praying well, we wanted our clients to catch us cleaning, not just as a gesture, but it's a, it's another reminder that, Hey, we, we care about this place. We want you to be able to touch the weights and not feel like you have to immediately wash your hands. So all we've had to do is we we've had to just pick that a little bit. It wasn't necessarily a huge change to our culture to keep these cleaning protocols up. So,

(21:11): Yeah, that's good. Well, we've talked a lot about COVID change different things. What has changed in your life of COVID?

(21:19): Yeah, man, there's really in a strange way and it almost feels illegal to say it, but there's a lot of things that, that came about in this time. You know, there's new practices that we've gotten inside of our home. There's I had more opportunity to do more of the things for the household and, and to take up a bigger role. And what I found is that actually had the, you know, we always think our capacity is lower than it actually is. Right. I mean, would you agree with that? Like even before I had kids, I couldn't understand how anybody could have kids and, and still do the things that they do. And now I got one kid and I'm looking around, like, I can't understand how anybody with two kids, it happens like people did this stuff. Like we, we are capable of a lot more than we have.

(22:05): And I think that's what the quarantine and the shutdown actually showed me that I have more room to do more things. And I don't actually, they don't empty my tank. They actually fill my tank up because again, I can serve my wife in different ways that I didn't even know that she would appreciate. So even though it takes something from me to do it, when I see my wife and I see my daughter benefit from it, that actually is a, that's a tank filler. And when it's all said and done, so I do a lot more of the grocery shopping. I do a lot more cooking. You know, I do a lot of that stuff that I was doing before, but it's kinda like, no, actually this is, this is my thing. Like I like doing this. I like the,

(22:46): No, my wife does not hear this part of the podcast. Be careful. It's all good. I've been on many doghouses because of these conversations. That's awesome. What other cool rhythms you made? You said there's new rhythms in your house that you guys are doing just to give myself and other listeners ideas. What are some neat things that you guys,

(23:09): I think our creativity of like, what can we do? It has grown, right? Because like, there were so many limitations and actually that's almost where creativity actually comes out of, right? Like necessity is the, the father or whatever of invention. And it's like, okay, we've been using our parks a lot more. So it was like Marsha open. So we go to the park more, we go outside more. We look at, we started a garden, you know, we got tomatoes grown and we got herbs. And you know, there's just some things like that because, you know, you think you're busy, you realize you're not busy. You're just busy being busy. And some of that stuff gets Freund away and you fill it in with things that you actually enjoy, you know? And your day feels more rich. It feels more full.

(23:51): It's the disciplines that we're all gonna need to have going forward. As our schedules start to ramp back up calendar, start to get fuller, to, to hold onto some of those pieces that were so fulfilling during this time. I mean, so many people talk about family dinners and how they never used to do them. And now they are, it's like, don't lose that. Or I understand he can't do it every night going forward. Cause you know, dance, gymnastics, soccer, it all starts back up. But why don't you find one night? It's a non-negotiable that everyone's around the table or maybe you have to do it on Saturday morning breakfast or something. Yeah.

(24:25): Learn to value your no, because this isn't an original quote, but like every time you say yes to something, you're actually saying no to something else. So it's not so much that you don't have the time. It's just which one are you holding at a higher regard. And I think, again, the shutdown in the quarantine gave us a taste of something that maybe we didn't even realize we wanted. So hopefully it makes it easier to say no to the other things, because we want to continue to say yes to these new found opportunities,

(24:59): Man. It's so spot on. I had a friend say, you know, the season's given us a permission to say no, and I love that. And then a mentor just had always said, and I love this quote is the quantity of our nose will drive the quality of our yeses.

(25:17): Yes, man. That's great. Cause we

(25:18): Used to, we say yes to a hundred things and we'd show up tired or just not focused or not present, but let's just say now dial back. And it's the only 40 things. Now we can be there and it's, it's just good stuff. So Alex is you're going about it on your bad days? Things aren't going, well, maybe there's some, you know, an employee left the gym and now you've got to find a new employee or maybe you just had a random turnover of a handful of clients that are now leaving. How do you recalibrate and elevate your mindset to get back on track? Because I know a lot of leaders are a lot of volatility emotionally and mentally right now. And what do you do to recalibrate?

(26:00): So I think there's two things I have every day. I have to be making decisions that I'm at peace with. And again, that I think that goes back to knowing you, knowing yourself, knowing who you are. And then for me, my faith plays a big role in that. So I, in those moments, like say a bunch of clients leave or we do have an employee turnover or something like that. I can immediately having that humility of going okay. Was I part of the problem? Was there something that I did or could have done differently to keep this? If I say yes to that? Yeah. It was something I did or something I could have done. Then I immediately direct my energy into that, into that area. If I can honestly do an honest assessment and say, no, there isn't anything that I would have done differently or could have done differently that would have allowed me to continue to have the piece about myself and my mission and where I'm, where I'm trying to take the gym. Then in that moment, it's just a realization of what's for me is coming. What isn't for me will leave. And I got to keep my hands open. I want to, I don't want to be a body of water that doesn't have flow. So just because one person leaves does not mean that tomorrow three people can't show up.

(27:08): Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And sometimes we just hang out in that negative zone of, Oh, it's over, they're all leaving there. I might as well just keep the door open. Cause they're just gonna leave.

(27:17): Yeah. And, and not, not to say that I don't have those moments, but like you said, it's those, what are the sobering thoughts? When I have that, maybe it's five seconds of clarity amongst five hours of, you know, just dreadful, inner talk, that five seconds of clarity that says, but three people could come up tomorrow. Right? We, we spend all this time making movies in our brain. Right. We spend all this time making movies, movies that these are movies or pretend there's work where we're writing the script for them. We're setting the scene. Right? Like these, these things haven't happened yet. That takes a lot of brainpower. I've just tried to over the past two years to say, okay, what's the other movies, right. Like, okay, we played that movie out. What's the other movie let's put the same amount of energy. This let's set the script.

(28:01): Let's let's envision the positive side. What's, what's something good that can come out of this because what we're doing now is we're saying hypothetical situation. So I don't think there's anything wrong with having a quote unquote, negative hypothetical situations and playing them out. I think that there's a level of wisdom that happens with that, but also do yourself a favor and do the ultra positive, play out, doing both, just doing both and then try to, you know, see how you feel after that. See, see what type of actions are invoked from having those two movies just in your brain and then see what happens from there.

(28:36): Yeah. Yeah. What's the other movie in our head. That's fantastic. We may just have to title the podcast. That's great. You know, I was doing some reading and saw that there was a study done that 70% of our thoughts are negative. And in a lot of the reason being is, you know, we're made to survive. It's it's fight or flight. It's that whole mentality. It's, fear-based, we're trying to survive. So I, I w I understand, we all understand the root of it, but 70% just happen of, you know, what, if this happens, what if that happens? What if they all, all the clients leave and I gotta shut down. Well, what if this? And I agree, we, it takes intentionality, but let's figure out how to get that other 30% to go up. What's that other movie in our head to get that replaced and get the mojo back.

(29:20): Yeah. I think a lot of times, like, that's what Jesus, his teachings are like, he's, he says stuff that like, sometimes you'll hear it and you'll read it and you'll be like, Oh, that sounds cool. And then you'll be in the moment where it means everything, right? Like, it's the only thing that you needed to hear in that moment. And because he's saying things and speaking to people different that are in different places in their lives, and they're in different, they're run a different movies to their own head. So he's, he's coming in with some ammunition. I think that's why it's important that we dwell on those things. We, we allow our mindsets to change, right? That, that concept of neuroplasticity of we can actually create new brain tasks. And when we continue to have these same thoughts, our brain again, is acting like a muscle, and we're just strengthening these negative pathways.

(30:06): So we have to be intentional about spending 10 minutes, just dreaming, man. Like, you know, one of the big exercises I did and it's kind of a morbid exercise, but someone challenged me to imagine myself at my own funeral, a funeral I'm watching my own funeral. Maybe you've heard of this, but pick three people in your life, and they're going to give a talk at your funeral. What would you want them to say? Not what would they say today based on your current relationship, but if things could be ideally how you wanted them, what would you want them to say? And I actually sat down and write, I wrote these speeches out and it was incredible how much that changed my relationship with these people. It exposed the values that expose what I wanted, and it made me kind of go in and go, okay, if this is what I really want, what do I want, what do I have to do now to make this

(31:02): That's fantastic. When did you do that exercise?

(31:05): It was in 2012, right before I opened the gym. And I haven't but I know them, like, I just, like, it was such a, it was it's right there. I mean, it's in my brain, it was such a re such a surreal. And like, you know, I was in this really vulnerable point in my life. Like, it was just such a passion filled thing. Like I don't forget them. And I look at those three relationships that I there's three people in how our relationships are. They are thousand percent better, you know, thousands of percent better than they were in that moment. And again, it's not just because I did this little imagination exercise, but because I came out of that exercise and I started to do things differently and apply myself in that relationship differently.

(31:52): Yeah. No, that eulogy exercise is very, very powerful. Anyone who's done it and spends the time on it. There's, there's some good fruit that comes out of it. Cause it has it change your view on that individual, but it also changes just man, I don't want to waste another day just in the Monday in the minutiae instead I, every day has got to matter. And how can I make that?

(32:15): Yeah, none of them, none of the people said I really enjoyed his car. It was beautiful. And they, you know, they didn't say, man, he had this many homes and you know, we really miss that money from his, but none of this, none of his talks had that in it. So I'm not saying don't enjoy those things and don't don't have those things, but I'm just saying when it comes down to it, I don't think that that's the stuff we think that we would want people saying about us when it's all said and done.

(32:40): Nope, Nope. And it's such a good reminder. I've started incorporating pieces of that and those a different ideas into action everyday routine. I didn't use to do that. My previous morning routine was just more scripture and just kind of journaling on that. And now I've weaved in both and it's, it's been pretty darn powerful cause it's, it's, you know, a spiritual, you know, foundation woven in with some different mindset pieces. And it's, it's been very, very helpful and impactful in doing that. And I think that even if you were to do that, like with your eulogy pieces, pulling that in, it sounds like it's pretty front of mind anyways, but that is just so helpful to help me each day say almost like it's almost like put on the uniform, like you used to go on the football field. It's armoring up. As Paul talks about in Ephesians, it allows me to armor up to then go out and be prepared for the client, be able to handle adversity, whatever it might be. So that's awesome. Well, man, I could keep going. This is fun, but you know, for the, for the sake of our listeners, you're probably doing a workout right now as they listen to this, let's hope, let's hope they're in the gym and in your gym and not doing something else. How can listeners get ahold of you if they just want to learn more, get in touch. What's the best way.

(33:56): You can follow me on Instagram at underscore harps underscore that's underscore H a R B, Z, and then another underscore. And then from there, you'll find all my different, you can find the gym Instagram from there, but that's probably the best way to kind of keep up with what I got going on.

(34:14): That's awesome. Well, thank you so much, Alex, for being on the podcast. I greatly appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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