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In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How to channel your ambition in a Godly way that improves all areas of your life (3:46)
  • The secret to setting solid boundaries that separate your work and home life you can be present for the people that need you the most (9:12)
  • A bulletproof method for scheduling your days in a way that makes you more productive than ever before (11:39)
  • The “Paul Tripp” method for helping your children find their identity in God (25:29)
  • How to guide your children through failure in a way that makes them excited to keep trying (26:22)
  • The importance of “coming of age” rituals for helping children become healthy adults (29:17)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(00:24): Hello, this is Corey. I'm excited for you to listen to this episode with Brian Berg. Before we get to the episode, two things first is if you are looking to buy a gift for black Friday coming up or Christmas, you should consider getting a bag from a Aroona Aroona is the organization that Ryan bergs executive director of I'm also on the board, but these bags are made by women freed from sex trafficking in India. They are not a pity purchase. It is matter of fact, they are high quality bags. I have bought in a handful of them, myself for a friends and family. And then secondly, this episode is awesome. And we talk about ambition, comparison, identity ceremonies for our kids being intentional, lots of good stuff, and hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thank you very much.

(01:18): Hello. This is Corey Carlston. You're listening to the winter home first podcast today. I'm joined with a good friend, Ryan Berg, who is the founder of the Aroona project, which is a nonprofit that provides sustainable employment to women freed from sex trafficking. And I've been on the board for probably about five years or so, maybe a little bit longer, but it's just been incredible to not only be a part of this, but to watch Ryan as a leader, how he has been the executive director of this nonprofit and his business insight and wisdom, he's a non-stop learner, but at the same time, he's winning at home with a strong marriage, intentional with the three kids. And so he's just the perfect guest to have on here to learn from. So Ryan, thank you very much for coming on to went home first podcast.

(02:04): Thanks so much, Corey. Thanks for invitation. And and, and even thanks for starting this podcast, I think I think the topic that you're going after is, is so key and critical so well done.

(02:16): Well, cool. Thank you very much. It's been fun. It's been a one-on-one fun parts of my job. Just need to figure out a monetize it, but I love it. It's been, it's been fun. I look forward to all these conversations with leaders like you and kind of unpacking how you guys are successful. So for you, Ryan, what is that key trait that you believe business leaders need to have in order to win at work and went home?

(02:42): I think I think one is when I think of ambition, when I think of the idea of entrepreneurs and business leaders and things like that, we're, we're often driven by ambition and oftentime ambition gets kind of a, a bad name, which I think it rightly should if it's undergirded by envy and jealousy and identity, that's found in all the wrong places and all the wrong things. And so I do think there's sort of a redeeming aspect to a godly ambition that would say I'm going to strive as best I can at work. And in the, in the things that I do at work to help serve employees and, and serve the people that we're serving and do that really well for God's glory, but in the same way to say, and I'm going to make sure that, that I'm ambitious with the things that I'm called to do at home, that I should love my wife as Christ loves the church, that I should, you know, father my kids in the way that that reflects a heavenly father. And so I think there has to be that sense of sort of a redemptive ambition that that's on both sides to say my role, isn't just simply a business leader or an organizational leader, but it's, it's also to make sure that I'm loving and caring for, for my wife and my children.

(04:04): Glad you said ambition, because this is one that I can lose sight of, even though I kind of know that, say the textbook answer of a godly ambition, I've also witnessed you do it where you're consistently checking your ambition against that godly ambition. And so how do you, I mean, how do you do it, right? Because I would love to learn from you because as I, as I grow my coaching business and has a kingdom impact, there are some days I do a great job of it. There's other days it's like, you know, it's, it's more about it's greed and I want to make sure revenue higher this month and last month or whatever the metric may be. So how are you growing a RUENA you are ambitious. You are successful year over year. We've seen growth with a Rona, whether it's in product sales or it's grants and, or sponsorship or donations, but yet how do you check yourself?

(04:57): You know, it's, it's really hard. I, I because I am, I'm very driven and and so it's, I have to check myself a couple of different ways. So internally, just individually, I try to make sure that I'm interacting with Jesus on a consistent basis as best I can, whether it's in the morning, you know, getting into the word, whether that's throughout the course of the day, just just saying, man, Lord, check my heart on this. Cause I can feel something stirring that doesn't seem right. You know, and then, and then when I'm aware of it, just confessing and say, man, Lord, this is not right. What's going on in my heart. You know, thank you for forgiving me, dying on the cross to take this in from me and, and, you know, fill me with your spirit and let me live a life that's honoring.

(05:42): Even in this moment, I think that's critical just individually, but then also having other people in my life that can kind of check me and say, Hey man, your heart didn't seem right in that meeting. Like we're, you know, where are you at? And just being able, give them the authority to actually check me and to not get defensive and to say, Oh, thank you for that. I needed that. I needed that check. And then I do think at the heart of it all for me, and this is just me, I, I, I don't know. Maybe other people don't struggle with this, but I assume they do at the heart of it. For me comes down to the glory of God versus the praise of men. And and it is so easy in, especially in our instant sort of world where it's now, now, now, you know, results.

(06:28): Now results are results now. And then you can take those results and throw them up on any sort of social media platform. And that helps to garner potentially even more results. And, you know, it's kind of that sort of lightening effect of one person sees it and shares it across. And then all of a sudden you've got this great impact. And so you can kind of get pulled in easily to this idea of the praise of men. And I just say praise of men, meaning humanity, as opposed to the idea of, I want to be able to stand before God at the end of all things and say, I have poured out my life for your honor for your glory. And that, that is greater by far than, you know, this, these momentary moments in time where there's, you know, the praise of, of people. And so I would, I would rather at the, at the end of all, things, to be able to stand before him and him to say, well done, then, you know, to have a bunch of people who don't really even know me saying, Hey well done. So, so I have to be very, very careful that I don't get pulled into one versus the, the ultimate of bringing God on her.

(07:39): So whether it's in the morning, your quiet time, but also throughout the day of just kind of recalibrating say I'm getting a little off track.

(07:47): Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Yep. And, and for me, it's just a, it's sometimes I'm not aware of it and I need to get checked by somebody else. Other times I can, you know, I can just send some of my heart, you know, as I'm frustrated because something didn't happen the way that I wanted to. And so I can fire off kind of a sharp email to someone or something like that and go, wait a minute, that's Lord check my heart. Why, why am I responding this way? You know, show me, it's, it's kind of like what David says in Psalm one 39 where he says, you know, search my heart and know me, see if there's any offensive way in me. And and that, that kind of draws me back into going, okay, let me, let me see all of these things as best I can with my limited perspective that helped me see it in light of eternity, not just right now in this moment,

(08:35): Executive director of a Rona, how have you set up boundaries? Because there's always another email to send, there's always another donor to pursue, but yet you've got boundaries to know, Hey, it's time to throw the football with, you know, my son's, you know, or it's play, you know, play with Stella, your daughter, or, or have a date you've done a good job of doing that. So what are the boundaries that you put into it?

(09:00): Yeah, I've, I've basically just said when I get home I'm I'm done. And so I work, I work really hard through the day. I don't, I don't really take many breaks. I don't really, you know, spend frivolous time, you know, playing around on social media stuff or anything like that. I mean, I, I, I tend to crank it pretty hard through the day. And then at the end of the day, I have, I've basically put in my best effort that I possibly can. And for me to be the best that I can, the next day at work, I need to call it quit. And for me to be the best that I can at home, I need to be able to call it quits. So I try to be very firm with that. And others there's times where, you know, even just last night, one of our teammates, you know, texted me really quick and says, Hey, somebody created a fake account on Instagram and they're, they're, you know, they're posing as, as a Ruina. And they're trying to, you know, it's a phishing scheme to try and get people's information and, you know, so I had to, I had to attend to that a little bit, but for the most part, once, once I'm home, I'm home, I'm locked in and I keep my, I don't pull my laptop out. I keep my phone in another room. Like I, I stayed distant from the work stuff, so I can focus in on family stuff. That's good.

(10:16): Do you have structured during your day in a way that allowed whether you're batching time or you're thinking of your day in a certain way that you found to be, get you more efficiency so you can get things done from eight to five better than maybe you're old.

(10:31): Yeah. And I, I actually work a little bit, a little bit more than eight to five and it just works out really well with our family schedule, you know, because our kids aren't home from school sports and stuff like that until about six. So we're about six 15. And so usually I'll, I'll get into the office early. I'll usually get home maybe around five, 15, five 30, and then exercise and stuff like that. So right about the time we're all, we all eat dinner together almost every night. But throughout the course of my day, what I usually do is the first portion of the morning. I've kept my own little like system where I keep track of all the things, my whole to-do list and what dates I need to get them done by and things like that. But I usually review that. And then I schedule most of my meetings in the morning, and then I can make sure that I'm hitting most of my meetings when I'm fresh and when things are sharpest on my mind.

(11:23): And then I do a lot of my admin, like cranking through working on things in the afternoons so that I can, I can focus in on certain tasks that I need to follow up from my morning meetings. So that's just the rhythm that works well for me. And then Fridays, I use for the planning for all of my things into the next week, so that I don't have to do a bunch of work on Sunday. So I usually spend my Fridays developing out all of our team meeting stuff, or a U S teams are our online team meetings for our two overseas entities. And then I'm working through reviewing a lot of, you know, sales, projections, financial projections, all those sorts of different things on my Friday, that's given kind of a look into next week so I can plan accordingly.

(12:09): That's, that's great. I'm, I've done different time management along the way, but I'm trying to get better now about badging that time, kind of, you said mornings for some activities, the afternoon's going to be for different activities and thinking through that. So it's neat to hear that that's what you do. Part of ambition to me is also a scarcity versus abundance mindset and understanding competition many years ago. You and I were in a room together and let's say one of your nonprofit competitors was on stage talking. And I remember afterwards, I had this scarcity mindset of, well, it looks like they're already in India, we're too late, you know, and, but the way you responded to think there's plenty of room for all of us. And you've consistently always had that abundance mindset. And as I love just to hear a little bit about that, because I think I go back to that conversation a lot. When I find myself drifting towards scarcity is a, you know, the way that you were able to view what I thought to be a competitor that would not allow a ruiner to be successful yet, you were like, no, we'll be fine. And so how have you continued to manage this abundant mindset when all of us have competitors in the marketplace? And, but yet you've had an ability to say almost like I'm just focusing on Ruina, kind of not worried about all the other. Yeah.

(13:32): Yeah. And I'll, I'll first qualify it with this. You know, that I am not a rich person and I didn't come from wealth. And so, so I'm going to answer this as someone who doesn't have a ton of wealth, who's going to speak on, Oh, you don't have to worry about it when my wife and I were first married, just so the listeners know, we, you know, we served in a, in a service organization where we may have very little money and we would do a lot of work overseas to where we were trying to help build out infrastructure to help developing communities and things like that. And so, so we got to see, and I, and I say, God, cause I really do think it was a privilege, a significant amount of poverty and its impact. And so we got to see, you know, that, that poverty side of things and by God's grace, we're, you know, we make a great salary now or, you know, we're, we're in a good position, but I would say that that when, when I look at that idea of abundance versus scarcity, I usually walk away from it and just go, I, I don't have the ability to control things.

(14:38): Like I can not control if a donor donates a certain amount of money to that organization that you are referring to that was on the stage, or they choose to donate it to a runner. I can't control that. I can do the best job that I possibly can to say, here's why I think you should give to a ruiner here. Here's why, what we're doing, I think is very unique and very effective. But at the end of the day, you know, I can't control that person's choices, but I can trust that ultimately the God of the universe who is entrusted that amount of money to that donor, that, that he, he owns everything he can, he can do as he chooses. And so if he wants Aroona to, you know, and this may sound, and I hope it doesn't sound like overly spiritual, but if, if he wants to be glorified through, Aroona being faithful with a little and us continuing to be faithful, even though it might be really tight and really lean.

(15:45): If, if he's honored through us being faithful and perseverance through that, then that's, that's my assignment. And I'm going to go after that assignment and do it the best that I possibly can if my assignment is that he fundamentally and overwhelmingly blesses us to where there's just huge profit margins and huge financial gains, then I'm going to be faithful. And I'm going to be persevering through that. And so I kind of look at it like, it's, it's the Lords, and I'm just here to be faithful with the assignment that he's given me, and I'm going to do everything I can to try and influence people to, you know, to give toward Aroona and things like that. But, but my role is to simply be faithful.

(16:27): Yeah. I mean, it's a fantastic response and one that I need to continue to, to not only remind myself, but even just sharing with, with clients that I work with and in 2020 has had its ups and downs and I didn't, and Aroona has had his challenges just due to lock downs and the lock downs that have not only effected the, you know, the, the work in the States and you guys getting to the office, but also in India, because India has had much more extreme circumstances. And so watching you kind of navigate just through the 2020 piece, knowing that there was going to be a dip in production or dip in certain efforts, but yet pivoting changing things up to try to go after online marketing and Facebook ads. And so it's been neat to see how you have that you and the team have done both those things.

(17:21): Yeah. And honestly, I mean, we had I, I had created an economic downturn plan prior to the pandemic, just in case, you know, we start to, we, you know, we saw things start to slide. Cause we had been in a, in a, in a bull market for a quiet quite a while. And if I, you know, this, this may be you know, there may be a time where we need to have this in place. And so we put together this economic downturn plan. And then as soon as the pandemic hit, I think I went through the first 19 steps of that thing, you know, in a matter of like two or three weeks. And it was, it was you're right. I mean, we had to, and this is what I mean, like we're going to work really, really hard, but at the end of the day, we're going to leave the results of the Lord.

(18:00): And and so we're working really hard and as smart as we possibly can to try and position things beneficially for RUENA and, and when we did make some of those pivots, we decided, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna actually pivot toward making sure that the women we're serving are best cared for first, then we'll, then we'll take a step back and try and figure out, okay, organizationally, how are we able to really secure the organization? And and so far we've made it through this far. So we'll see, we'll see what 21 holds. How does God want to be glorified in 2021?

(18:39): Yeah. Hello, this is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning both at home and at work and living the life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you

(19:19): Shared is a, God says, handover your story for a greater story. And for anyone who's read, the book went home first. This is Ryan Berg that I talk about where putting together your life, vision, and one of the P's and yours is potential. And part of, I know you've got many parts of your story where you've had to hand over yours for God's, but part of it was you decide to leave crew to start a Rona and love for the listeners. Just to hear a little bit about that, because that's when you were like, there, there there's something greater here and I feel called to pursue it. And I talked just a little bit about, about a paragraph of it in the book, but yet I think the story is just so compelling for all of us to be open-handed to what God has for us.

(20:07): Yeah. I mean, I certainly didn't go looking to start a Rona except for there was, there was a, so I was headed India to do some work initially. And so on CNN, a little ticker line that made reference to 12 children being rescued from a brothel. And it floored me. I had never heard of sex trafficking before didn't know that it existed. I mean, I knew that it existed, but not nearly at the scale and mentioned April my wife, when we get there, I said, I'm going to, I'm going to find this, if this is happening, I'm going to find it. We've, we've got to figure out if we should do something. And, and you've heard this before. I've shared this before that I, when I first found this particular area and stepped into this particular brothel, I mean, smell of stale urine, and there's rats everywhere.

(20:56): And as I move up the stairs, I can start to hear the sound of abuse. And it basically at the top of those stairs opens into a long corridor. And there's just woman after woman lined up with, with nothing more than just this little closet sized rooms with a mattress and a pool curtain. And I hit, never seen slavery like that face to face. And I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I was so naive. And if I could be honest, I, I, I left that place cause I can, I'm not a, I'm not a slave. And I wept in the street, thought somebody has to do something. And that really became the wrestling match for me. It was like somebody got to do something and it even became more of a okay Lord, you know what, if we do this little thing on the side and try and help build it and then hand it over to somebody else that can really do something.

(21:51): And the more and more we pressed into it, the more it was just, okay. If, if, if you want us to press into this thing, then, then we'll follow you into it. But someone has to do something. And the more we prayed about it, the more we felt like, okay, maybe we're that somebody maybe that's us. And so that essentially became the process where we, we went back to India, April and I, and the kids. And we embedded in the area for a number of months, we did started doing a bunch of research to try and understand why is this happening? We interviewed companies and government women, and all these other things just asked a hundred questions, mission, vision, values, methods, constraints, anything we could to try and get our arms around the problem and to see are there, are there gaps where we could potentially offer a solution? We had no idea we just needed to learn. And quite honestly, the more that we learned, the more that we realized, okay, we, we, we think we can help. And so we decided to take that step to, to try and help

(22:57): Story I have heard before. But one part that I don't really remember hearing before, and you said it numerous times is somebody has to do something. Has that been since then even a rally cry for you almost every day sense? Or was that just a moment in time that you heard that phrase or has that been something that continues to motivate, inspire you to go?

(23:19): Yeah, I think it's more now we've got, we've got so many faces and names of women that we know that, that, that has become what compels us, you know, to, to be able to say, okay, we're going to serve for God's glory. And to be able to actually see the women, know the women, understand the exceptional difficulties and, and in many torture situations that they're, they're being put through and to be able to actually see them freed and then empowered through the counseling and then provided employment in our business, the for-profit side of what we do to where they've got living wages and retirement healthcare, and, and to actually see them thriving. That's, that's the thing that really drives us to say, okay, we know, we know that what we're doing is working. We can see it, we understand it. And, and to be able to say, okay, now how can we get to many, many more? How can we get to far more to help them free that that's the thing that starts to really, really motivate where we're at. And then, then even to see the sort of corollary impact on children who used to sleep in that brothel that no longer have to. So they're no longer at risk for being trafficked or siblings in the village who are no longer at risk for being trafficked. And those are the sort of things that really motivate where we are now. It that's great.

(24:45): Switching gears. Now, talking about how you lead at home, we talked about how you lead at work. So well, I know you're very intentional with your

(24:53): Kids and

(24:56): We know two boys and teaching the boys about boy demand. And then obviously you have a daughter and, you know, young lady to, to, you know, to, to a woman and having those conversations, as well as drawing them closer to God, Ryan, what does it look like in your house and how, how are you intentional with your kids and, and helping them grow into beloved sons and blood?

(25:20): I would say what we try to do is I remember Paul Tripp, great author that talks a lot about the gospel and a lot about families. And he basically said some of the best homes for children to grow up are, and you kind of talked about this in your, you know, your high challenge, high invitation. He, he talks a lot about there being kind of like the same thing, like high challenge and high warrant is kind of the two, the two things that he talks about. And, and I look at that and I basically say to me, that's the gospel where it's, we're gonna, we're going to set the bar really high and say, we want to strive for excellence in the things that we do. But we also understand that, that we're, you know, we're gonna fail, we're going to screw up, we're going to mess up.

(26:08): And so there's going to be an extension of grace. There's always going to be this sense of warmth and grace and acceptance. And so, you know, I even, I even with the kids since day one, when they were really small and I'd be heading to India sometimes for two weeks, sometimes for two months, I would tell them, I would say, you know, going to serve these women, but you need to know that you are my daughter, you are my son. And there is nothing that can change my love for you. And just because I may be gone for this period of time to serve, that does not change love for you. You are the most important person, you know, in my, in my little world. And so to try and communicate to them at a very young age, that they are deeply loved, deeply accepted, no matter what we're trying to basically lay that foundation.

(26:59): And then up through the years, just to continue to try and reiterate that over and over and over to the point now, where as teenagers, I, I love my relationship with my kids. I mean, they're, it's fun. And you know, and there's different things that we do. I, you know, we, we talk about Jesus and things like that. Not like in a forced way, but just in kind of a natural way as it is, it comes up. But then we also talk about other things like we've got a, we've got a little phrase that we just use is, is, you know, people are leaving the, leaving the house. We basically say, you know, protect the weak, love your neighbor, and honor the King. And I usually say that, and then the kids are usually respond with Soli, DEO, Gloria. And then I respond with Shalom Shabbat, which those are just some, some old sort of old language phrases for saying it's about God's glory.

(27:50): And then I'm, I'm basically saying, okay, you know, peace and prosperity to you as you go for God's glory. And it's, it's just what we're, what we're trying to do is weave in those sort of themes of, you know, you're going out into the world, but let's not live like the world let's, let's live like, like we're children. And we came and and so for each of my kids to, and not to draw the long, drawn out, answer for free, each of my kids too, at the age of 14, I, I get a necklace made with with a little pendant that actually has on one side of it. It has the P for protect the weak, the L for love your neighbor and the H honor your King. And then on the backside, it actually has a little phrase from Romans where it refers to being more than conquerors through him who loves us and on the backside, it has a different, so for Carter, for my oldest, it's got a a little image and then for Brody, my middle son, which I'm wearing that one right now, and then per Stella, she'll have a different one.

(28:51): And so I, I get it made at the age of 14 for each one of them. So Carter, at the age of 14, I would, I wore it for two years. And at the age of 16, have like a little ceremony where it's kind of a coming of age, where I handed over to him, I'm wearing Brody's. Now when he turned 16, we'll do the same. And then when Stella turns 14 off, get one made for her, wear it for two years and then hand it over to her. And my wife's involved in that process too. And we kind of make it a whole family thing to say, you are now, you're starting to enter into adulthood and starting to become somebody who's going to be making decisions and, and living for something. And so the whole idea is what, what are you going to live for?

(29:33): I like how you also say you have a great relationship with your kids now. And, you know, so the Bible must be right when it says we need to discipline our, when they're young and showing title meant, and living in a bubble is not the right way. I don't think so. The, that verse I'm referring to it's, it's where it talks about. We want to discipline, you know, our children, but actually in the footnotes for those that still kind of use that paper Bible, especially in ESV, it talks about discipline them at a young age. And I had a buddy point that out to me and man, it's, it's such a game changer in parenting. And so I agree with that, you know, challenge, verse warmth. The, how I learned was challenger's invitation. And for us as parents, it's inviting them into relationship. Hey, let's hang out, let's have fun and enjoy each other, but no, we've got to challenge them and responsibility.

(30:27): And I love that phrase you have is what are you going to go live for? But challenge in that given day. One other question from a parenting standpoint, love to get your take on is you and April are both collegiate athletes. Your kids are all very good athletes in their own individual sports. And how are you leading them with through identity and not having it tied to sports or even performance in the classroom, you know, for the academic side of it. But how are you leading the identity conversation in your house of where sports rank and who they are?

(31:08): Yeah. You know, it's, it's I think it's really, really hard to be quite honest. I mean, there's, there's so much going on right now. I, you know, I feel like that I didn't have to deal with as a kid growing up. I didn't, I, I wasn't, I didn't have to be present on social media platforms and I, wasn't getting kind of this sort of measurement of how many people liked that post or not that I feel like those are really challenging things that kids have to grow up with today. And, you know, and then if you just say, Oh, you're not allowed to be on social media stuff. Then they start to feel really excluded and cut off from different friends and things like that. So it's, I feel like it's a really challenging to navigate. That's very different than when you and I grew up.

(31:51): So we're still trying to learn our way through that and just basically have open conversations with our kids about it. But one of the things that we consistently try and come back to is to say to our kids, that your acceptance is already in place. You are already deeply accepted, deeply loved, liked, enjoyed, like you are the beloved son and daughter of us as your parents and of God is the King. As you know, I'm putting your faith in Jesus. That's what matters most everything else out of this is living in a way to actually reflect and honor the gifts that God has given you. Because it's really interesting. First, first Corinthians four, seven, I believe says that Paul is talking to the Corinthian church and he says, what do you have that you've not been given? And if you've been given it, why do you boast as though it's somehow your own thing?

(32:53): And the whole idea that we're, we're basically trying to help instill in our kids is that you don't go out onto the athletic field to try and earn somebodies acceptance. Because if they accept you, just because you have a good game and then they reject you because you have a bad game, it's going to be a terribly difficult life. You know, you don't go out into the academics and if you get all A's and then you're accepted, but if you get a B, then you're not, you know, we're trying to help them understand that you are already fully accepted. So the whole reason why you go hard and the reason why you're driven, and the reason why you want to Excel is because out of a freedom to be able to go do it, and out of a love for the fact that that God has created you with these gifts.

(33:41): And so we, we tell our kids, you know, we tell them all the time, where does confidence come from? And we say, basically confidence comes from the fact that God has gifted me to do something. And I've worked really hard to try and maximize that gift. That's where confidence is. So whether you succeed or fail, you keep on going. You keep on persevering. So I don't know if that gets quite to the heart of your, of your question, but it's, it's what we're trying to do at this stage of the game is we're trying to navigate all this, you know, craziness.

(34:15): No, I think it's great. The open conversations around technology and just anything. I think that's a huge takeaway for listeners is that open conversation. And I know some people just kind of shut it off, like, Nope, we're not talking about it. It's over. Well, our children will go figure out the answer elsewhere. They'll go sneak around her backs or they'll do something. And having that open conversations is a key to what we've talked about. It is relationship inviting relationship doesn't mean you have to conform and give in to everything, but it's let them understand your why you don't want them doing something and how you can also weave in God into those conversations. So I love the open conversations and absolutely the identity piece was so helpful.

(34:57): And I would even add to that too. Corey is I, you know, there, there is a sense of which we, we try and approach it with a sense of humility, even just to say with our kids, when, you know, we get into a conversation about, well, how much time on your phone is too much, how much is too, you know, all those sorts of things we tell our kids, we're like, look, we were learning this. We, we didn't have this growing up. So we're, you know, you're the first generations that are actually having this thing fingertips and it's all accelerating so quickly. We're trying to figure it out as we go. So we don't have all the answers. And, you know, some people might think, well, that's a terrible thing to say to your kids, but, but that's, that's essentially what we try and tell our kids. And then we'll, you know, so far it's worked

(35:38): Yeah. With us in our house. It's also open cars, the conversations of, you know, we don't know the answer and also going through the journey with them, our phones out can track screen

(35:47): Time. So I'm also sharing

(35:50): My screen time results with my kids and talking about it, like, Hey, I'm down this week. Oh, I'm up this week. So in the journey with them, but yet still authoritative, but yet it's, let's do this together. As we all figure it out. That's good. And your identity piece on sports academics, whether they accept you or reject, you love that you and I both and our leadership at home take that back to God, beloved son. And you add some other great parts. When I read the everything store with Jeff Bezos, even in a secular context, he talked about, do you feel better about yourself? If the stock market or stock price goes up, 30% will eat better. Not because you're going to feel 30% less when it drops 30%, you know, something along those lines. And I was like, that's fantastic because whether it's a secular piece or, you know, more of that faith driven is we can't have that ebb and flow based on circumstances. And so I love that identity.

(36:50): I genuinely think of it this way. Jesus, to me, is the unchanging constant in a constantly changing world. And to me, he is like the, he is the absolute anchor to know that his, he doesn't change. He's the same yesterday, today and forever. And so the fact that who he is his character and who I am in him because of his work on the cross and the resurrection that is foundational and absolutely stable and constant. And so that doesn't change. And that's so, so huge and helpful in terms of identity when there's, when there is such volatility within, within the world, whether it's our individual world or our business or the world at large,

(37:38): I can I keep going, I appreciate your friendship. I appreciate your wisdom. And how can listeners get a hold of you? And obviously we got to share the Aroona. Yeah,

(37:49): Yeah. We're in a website is just a Ruina, a R U N a project.com. And and we've got great products. I will say this Corey, because I got to say this, the products on there are, are, they are made to compete within the U S athlete or Marcus. They're, they're really high quality, really good stuff. They're not, they're not petty purchases by any means. As far as con contacting me. My email is R Berg at arena, project.com and people can reach out that way

(38:20): And you are correct. They are not pity purchases. We've we have lots of bags in our house that we purchased, or we've given them away as gifts. And they are always a hit. Absolutely. I'm still waiting for the man bag to come out. I've been very disappointed in the speed of which we brought this to market.

(38:36): I know, I know. Well, there was a, it was supposed to release this year, but then we had a little, a little global issues come into play. Well, I know there's only one other person who wants a man bag as much as me at you. And since you are at the helm of this company, I know it's coming as soon as, as a can. So that's awesome. Thank you for this conversation. Absolutely. Thanks for having me, Corey. I appreciate it much, man. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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