Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How to avoid burnout when people expect more from you than ever (3:09)
  • The “Lone Wolf” mistake men make with their communities (4:53)
  • A must-have app that lets you create a virtual Bible study when you can’t get together in person (10:30)
  • The one letter that prevents adversity from destroying you (22:55)
  • One aspect of your identity that can never be taken away from you (25:15)
  • Why your resume is irrelevant to what you will accomplish in the future (27:13)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”


Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this is Cory. You are in for a great episode today. We're talking with Todd wilKowski. I'll introduce him in a minute, but he went from the air force Academy. Now he's an attorney. So we talked about the identity of what that looked like between those different parts of his career. We talk about ego and how ego has played a part in all in his life, but mine as well. And what the story behind that, we talk about adversity, how it's either going to make you bitter or better great discussion along those pieces, as well as identity and how we are not defined by what we do as well as talking about having community and the importance of community. It's a great episode. I can continue going on about the different nuggets that we talk about. I hope you enjoy the show as much as I do. Thank you very much.

(01:12): Hello It’s Corey Carlson. You're listening to the Win at Home First podcast today is Todd wilkowski. And I have spent some time with him over the last couple of years and in every time just impressed with not only his business knowledge. He also does coaching consulting through his work and as well as just a father of four and just lives out his faith and just neat to have him plus he's in the air force. A very grateful for your service through the military, Todd, and then just neat to have you here. And you're currently a partner for a law firm here in Cincinnati, and just making a big impact with small business owners and look forward to talking to you today. So thank you for being here, Todd, likewise, Corey, thanks for having me here. Well, the get started, what is a key trait that you're seeing not only in your own life, but also the leaders that you're influencing, that it takes to win at home and at work, the leaders that I get a chance to, and I'm blessed to be able to advise is they're tired.

(02:10): They're trying to keep their teams together. Their teams, largely many of them are still at home. They're trying to keep them motivated. They're trying to give them a vision. They're trying to make sure that they're transparent and regularly communicating with them to communicate that vision and the plans and you know, and, and it's just, it's really hard. And so when I'm communicating with, and that's also happening at home, I mean, people are obviously at home and they're, they don't have a lot of typical scheduled parameters where they go to work and they come back to, they come back home. It's like, everything gets morphed together. They're, they're playing teacher, they're planning, you know, stay at home parent. And meanwhile, they're being expected to get their work done. You got to get people around you, you know, because you are giving out so much of who you are and if somebody is not pouring into you on a regular basis, then you're going to get burned out. And frankly,

(03:00): You know, the enemy wants leaders to get burned out because if he can burn out the shepherd, the sheep are really just are going to scatter. And so I think, you know, I think it's really critical to have, you know, to win at home obviously, and to win at life and to win as a disciple, which is what we're all called to do that we've got great accountability. We have people asking us really, really hard questions as a leader, how we're doing, and the response is not, I'm fine, I'm good. But you know, really being able to dig in and really call you out on things and love because they've got relationship. And then, you know, I, I love the imagery from the old Testament where in a Moses was leading, his was leading God's people into the unknown and he was tired. He had already gone through plagues.

(03:43): He had already been, you know, he already felt way out of his element. He was called to be a public speaker and he was a stutterer and, and he was tired and his brother came alongside of him and he lifted his arms up, you know, and I think that's what we need. What leaders need at home or at work is somebody who's going to get to come alongside of them. And then also to be that person who's cognizant that there's other leaders in their circle that are going to need them to come alongside and lift their arms up and support them. Because again, we don't know how long this is going to go on, but we know there's going to be an end eventually. And so that's what I'm seeing. That's what I'm hearing

(04:16): A great response, Todd, because I've asked this question well to every guest and now that I'm going to continue asking it every single time, because I always get a different answer, which is fun. But what I like about your answer is so many of them are intrinsic focused. Like, and I don't disagree with what other people have said, but it's neat how your response is about community. It's about who is around you, who the people you surround yourself. And I think that's very critical as you kind of mentioned, the lone Wolf gets taken out. And it's neat that you're thinking of, Hey, who's pouring into you. Who are you pouring into? Who is a community that you, that will help not only hold you accountable, but lift up your arms, as you mentioned, Aaron and Moses. So, and that's, that's fantastic.

(05:02): Good. Yeah. Well, you know, the other thing I wanted to point out that I'm seeing and that I've been encouraging people since March and this whole thing started to happen is how can we be beacons of hope and beacons of light to society. And we knew we didn't know how long this was going to be, but man, there's so much fear and anxiety and despair in society right now it's paralyzing, right? I mean, fear to me is never good. And we'll talk about that hopefully a little bit later, but you know, the fear that is gripping society, the fear that is preventing people from getting back and getting after it is unbelievable. And if the leaders are not going to lead folks back out to engage in society at work, who's going to do it. We as leaders don't know where this is going, we don't know what the future holds, but we know who holds the future.

(05:54): That's pretty good. You know, and we also, as a Christian leaders, this isn't our home. And so what are we fearful of be prudent, but what are we fearful of? What's keeping us from going out and showing society. It's time not to survive. It's time to thrive. And it's time to be a beacon of hope to people that really need hope right now, because there's so many things, not just COVID, but you know, racial unrest and injustice and, and, and, you know, I mean, I've been, I'm 53 years old. I've never seen the world as divided, especially in the United States as it's been and how polarized it is. And there's only one solution in my opinion, for this. And that's the God that we serve the God that it was yesterday, today and tomorrow. So we've got the message. So why are we carrying in fear and not getting out there and being beacons of hope?

(06:47): And that, that strikes a nerve with me because I, whether I'm talking to clients or I'm talking to friends, it's little things of go to the gym. Well, I'm not going to go to the gym because, you know, just COVID and things like that. It's like, you got to get to the gym. I've been going back to the gym since June and, you know, you need to get back and then it's talking about, Hey, you need to go on dates with your spouse. Why can't, you know, there's, you know, just, can't go out in the restaurants and things like that. It's like, no, you can go out on dates. And since the place opened back up and maybe June, you know, how had, I've been able to go on dates about every couple of weeks or just bring food in and eat in the back deck or something like that. But you're so right. If we're going to be leaders, we need to get back out there.

(07:33): And again, we lost an amazing woman and friend in our CHC community who was the wife of a beloved teacher. So I'm not making light of the fact that this thing is real, that this thing is happening. I actually had it myself six weeks ago. My son had it. Thank God we recovered relatively quickly. I know a number of others, largely teenagers that have gotten it and have recovered one, you know, had at about 12 days where he was really seriously impacted. So we have to be prudent about and protecting folks. But frankly, we, we gotta get, we gotta get back after it. I mean, I was in a restaurant again today. That's normally packed on a Friday morning that just serves incredible meals. It's a great place to connect. And there were three, there were three boosts full, you know, and it's kinda like, you know, the vast majority of society, right.

(08:22): It's just not, it's not going to have the kind of impact that, you know, we've been told. And so I'm not trying to make this a political discussion. I'm just trying to be encouraging. And, and frankly, it's been encouraging to a number of my friends who didn't know that I've told them I had it, you know, because at that point they didn't know anybody who had had it. And so they, some of them were just kind of like this, this is a fallacy, but it's not, but we can't go to further extreme and just make it something that is, you know, for the unforeseen future, going to be something that continues to shut us down. Why did not know you COVID either. So

(08:56): That is interesting. And it's sorry you had it, but it's neat to hear you had it. And it's like, let's get back out there. So it's fun that you're leading the charge and I've had it unlike someone like myself who leading the charge and they're like, he's being naive. So it's good that you've you've faced. And here you go. So in the quarantine, a lot of things have changed. What have you pruned out of your life that you are glad you have, and you're not letting them back in.

(09:24): I will tell you, rather than I'll focus on before, proning, I'm going to focus on what I started doing again. And it really is, again, we talked earlier about accountability and we talked about people coming alongside of us. And I've got a partner at my office in Westchester. Who's been a dear friend and, you know, honest, we, we come together every week and we pray for the firm and we pray for the people in our office. So we pray for our families and we just, we just get it out because it's important, you know? And he started about a week into it. There's an app where you can invite your friends to a particular study. Not only can you, you know, you, you go through it together. And a lot of these things incredibly relevant and, you know, talking about hope, talking about overcoming fear, talking time and faith and the type of UPenn DEMEC.

(10:13): And so you, you read the devotional, you read the scripture and then what's really cool is everybody shares their kind of thoughts and how it talked to them personally. And so it really is getting me back into the discipline of starting every day with him, right? Because we have our own agendas, we have our own schedule, but you know, what I've learned is, and I hopefully everybody's learned if they didn't know it before we have so little control over a lot of things, but we know who is in control and if we can concede and we can surrender ourselves to him, particularly, you know, I think what I have learned a lot more is, you know, my agenda needs to be surrendered to his agenda because of I'm so tied into what I'm planning to do for that day. I might miss an opportunity in terms of what I'm going to prune back on. I would say a lot of what I do. I, I thought before and again, this is no hit on, on, on office stuff, but I can bring a lot of flexibility and a lot of blessing to my wife, if I can be more flexible. And, you know, we both work full time and being able to pivot on my schedule and be able to help her more with, with our kids.

(11:23): That's neat how you are pulling in prayer with the coworker and really kind of starting your morning that way and realizing that we don't control the impact. And that was a big lesson that I had this spring when COVID hit and things were shut down. I ended up losing about 40% of business revenue at that time. And thanks to God's provisions came back, but the time it really impacted me. So the parable of the 10 miners was a big scripture for me, that helped we're talking about your minor, not mine. You know, the idea of it's it's God's money, not mine. And I've always thought, Hey, it's, God's timing. Not mine. God's plan, not mine, but I never really got my arms around the money piece of provision piece until COVID hit. And I realized, wow, I don't have control. I thought I was controlling things. But when that happened in 40% of all, all speaking engagements went away, which resulted in 40% of my revenue. It's like, Oh boy, I don't have control. So let's let's reset.

(12:22): When I talked to my the folks that I'm able to counsel and work with, I said, what is it that you did pre COVID? That is the essence of who you are in your organization. And as your value add to the society and that you need to absolutely continue to do what are the things that you were doing prior to COVID you need to stop doing, because they're diverting your attention and your resources from your core essence and where you bring value to the market. I E if you went away tomorrow, would it even matter? What even would people even notice that your company had disappeared? And finally, what are the things that you, you know, hopefully leaders in white space, they're thinking about this, they're thinking strategically, because frankly, people are counting on them to do that. So they can cast vision. Nobody else's, you know, nobody else is doing it. Everybody's really focused on the day-to-day things. And one of the things you can start and that you've been doing that you need to keep doing,because you've learned that it's a way that you can pivot to be increasingly relevant and, and afford yourself of opportunities, because there's a ton of opportunities during this time. And there will be,when it's over and, you know, for playing defense all the time, and we're scared and we're paralyzed, we're going to miss that. So have you

(13:38): Seen any common themes with people are going back to like that non-negotiables

(13:43): Well, first of all, people are redefining and they're restructuring and they're retooling. Here's the reality of it. If you're not, if you're not growing in a very healthy way, if you're not providing opportunities for your, you know, your a players, I'm not a prophet, but I can tell you in about a year or two, they're going to be gone, right? So, so you invest in hiring, you invest in them, hopefully, and you're growing and developing them. But if there's no place for them to go, right, because your staff, then they're going to leave you because they want to have impact and influence. And if they can't do that with you, they're going to find it. And frankly, here's the reality of this market in all markets, people are always looking for great talent. And then the other thing is, you know, you, you need to be looking at who are the individuals, you know, God bless them. They're, they're good people, but they're just not the right fit. You might've not grown them. And,there's, there's a, there's a better place for them to be. They know it they're, you know, they're struggling and, and to make some of those hard decisions to launch them to their next opportunity. And then you'll be aware of talent. That's on the market. That's culturally that works well with your company to be able to bring them in, to,

(14:52): To be able to have the structure to grow. So it's really thinking introspectively about that. And also it is thinking about how can you define a value added message that you can articulate, like the elevator speech, if people are going to be mindful of how you're differentiated from another lawyer, a plumber and executive coach, whatever it might be. So you don't end up commoditizing yourself and then you have to compete on price, which there's nothing fun about that. So there's a lot of discussions that I believe my folks are having and thinking about. And also here's the other one I love Simon Sinek. You probably do as well. Yes. What's your, why w why are you doing what you're doing? Because if you've got a really compelling story, you're going to build relationships a lot quicker. You're going to build trust a lot quicker, and you're going to differentiate yourself from your competition.

(15:44): Most of whom don't even know why they're doing what they're doing, and if they're just doing it for money, that's going to shine through. So getting into that white space and thinking about that as heat. Yeah. Yeah. Todd, a lot of good things there. And I, I love the idea of the why. And you talk about the value. Add one thing, we'll work with our clients a lot on is, you know, how can you be distinct from your competition? And then how can you connect your customers both in unique way? And then usually with our clients that are strong in their faith, we'll take it one step further, you know, how can you connect with people like Christ did, but yet be distinct Christ-like right. And so there's just two fun lenses to think about as we're working with our leaders. And you also mentioned employee retention.

(16:27): And at the beginning of COVID, I don't think anyone thought about retention because, you know, some people had to have reduction in forces or furloughs, but fast forward to now, it's changed. I have a client who just yesterday was telling me that he, his company he's is now going to do a retention bonus every six months. If you stick around, you get a retention bonus. And that's a significant game changes for other employers where they've got to bolster up their culture, and I'm not talking about Friday afternoon, you know, gags are being bombed. That doesn't work anymore. That was kind of a flash in the pan for a while, but now it's, Hey, how are we healthy? Are we productive? Are we moving forward? Can we speak truth to our team? Do we celebrate wins? I guess it's going back to, you know, it seems soft skills, but man, they're critical now. So

(17:18): It's interesting. Your, your leaders are talking about that same stuff as well. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you, and it can help you

(17:50): Start winning boat at home and at work and living in life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you. Part of the story that of mine that I've brought into other podcast episodes and had fun and getting good feedback from and loved. It just asked, you know, has there been a part in your life, part of your story where you just felt, God say you need to hand over your small story for something bigger. I got something bigger going on and want to invite you into it. What's that look like over your career, over your life, where there's been a moment, what Todd was doing, he decided, all right, I'm handing this over. I'm going for something else.

(18:29): Well, yeah, we talked about it briefly before you know, started the podcast. And so I was raised in an air force family. My dad was the sixth class to graduate from the air force Academy. He, his eyes were not what they had hoped to be. So he was a navigator, which is, you know, a very worthy endeavor, but he had hoped to be a pilot born in the Philippines, grew up all over the place, Panama canals, you know, that, and then really top gun was coming out when, you know, when I was graduating. So that age has made. But I mean, I was so focused on and I went to the Academy to be a pilot. And I mean, Chris you're at the Academy, you've got parades formations, you got planes flying over here all the time. I mean, you're jacked up to be a pilot and did pretty well at school.

(19:13): Got my choice of pilot training base and, you know, went down there full of my stuff, ready to go. And I spent, I was there for, I was watched you know, the term is washed out. I washed out of pilot training into a months and that was bad. Right? Cause that was really devastating to my ego, which would needed to take a hit honestly. But then I was there for another four months and I was the person that had to check in every one of my classmates when they were going to training and the look that they would come by and give me was just a pity, you know? And, and I felt pretty pitiful myself. And, but it was that time where,uI just really remembered. And I said, man, I said, God, I kind of had my plans. And they were pretty cool plans and I don't know what to do next because all I've ever thought about since I've been in the Academy is be a pilot. And that's when he, he was, you know, initially I thought I'm going to go be a navigator. I'm going to be an, a navigator and a fighter pilot. And I'll show those guys and I should have been a pilot.

(20:17): And what ended up happening was I got picked for intelligence school, which is actually was perfect for me as an, I was an international affairs major. I have a Spanish undergrad, frankly always wanted to be James Bond. So I ended up going there and and then getting stationed at the Pentagon, which is like where I came from and where I met my dad, you know, where I had grown up like my high school years. But then I ended up getting involved in the we had overseas drug interdiction mission and I got assigned to Peru. So I got to spend a lot of time down there on that mission, you know, kind of undercover, which, you know, now I can talk about I couldn't then, but it was, it was really, it was cool. It's amazing. More importantly than that, I went home and I was able to, re-establish a really healthy relationship with my dad and my mom who had struggled with alcoholism.

(21:11): Eventually, you know, she's passed now, but she, she got sober, which was really cool, but just and then I got back into my faith man, cause I, I was really, you know, again, when you get puffed up in pride and you think you got everything in control, then you it's called ego edging God out. And that's what I had done. I kind of just, you know, I knew him. I believed in him. I really did love him, but man, I just didn't have time for him. And so he got me involved while I was back in, I had gone through young life and I'd gone through a CYO, which is Catholic youth organization. And I decided, man, I was going to invest. I loved kids. I loved relational ministry. And so I got involved in young life and then ultimately use that relational concept.

(21:55): A couple of us formed something called new life at, at our Catholic parish to reach out with kids, you know, and, and do life with them and get in there, you know, go to their place and go to their games and get in their junk. And here they're here their issues. So we could love on them and just be Christ to them. And what I knew at that time, four eight was if I'm going to get up in front of people and I'm going to talk about this, I'm not going to be, there's not going to be duality. And so it really would cause him to bring me back to my faith because I knew, and I should have been held accountable for that and that I wasn't going to get up. Hey, I'm not perfect. It's all by grace. But if I was going to get up and speak to them, I really had to start running after God again, so that, you know, course correction, which was a pretty significant one.

(22:38): It really changed everything. And I will tell you, I had other friends, they did make it through and it absolutely destroyed their lives because of the way they responded to it. So, right. I mean, you have adversity. It makes you, it makes you bitter or it makes you better. And the difference is one letter, but the difference is everything. And they became bitter. And because their identity had fully been in that and when it was taken away from them, it cost them their marriages down the road. It was some guys got into it. You know what I mean? Pretty heavy duty alcohol and stuff like that. And I just, by the grace of God, it wasn't by my own doing. I was able to refocus my identity, surrender to him and that he put me on a course that has just been, it's been awesome. It's not been without challenge it's without adversity. And frankly, if you have, you don't have that. You're not growing and you're not developing. So that's that, that would be my big, I had others, but that was the big one.

(23:35): That's a big moment. And I did not know that about your stories. So thanks for sharing all those pieces and

(23:43): The adversity either makes you, or better than That. One letter is everything. I mean, that's, that's super good. And I think all of us are taking different blows. And just to know, our identity is not based on whatever that blow is. Our identity is being a beloved son or beloved daughter of God and is not being in the air force. Pilot is not being in the corner. Office. Executive is not being the CEO or president and that's not our identity. That's our mission for the moment. But then that may change, but it's not our identity. So man, this story's pretty darn powerful. So thanks for sharing it.

(24:19): You bet. Well, there's a lot of, you know, especially right now, bro, you get it. I mean, I've got a real passion for meeting with people that are in transition. And the reason why is because I've been in transition a couple of times and a lot of the people that I meet with, and they're largely men, but I meet with women, but men struggle with this more than anything, you know? Right. And then the company for 20 or 25 years now, my job's gone. My identity was in my job. My whole network was in my job. I just got my identity stolen. And it it's really the, you know, kind of talking when we talk about, you know, winning at home, you know, one of the things that I definitely do not do everything perfect. But one thing that I try to install in my instill in my kids is this, your identity is you are a child of the most high King and that can never be taken for you. So it's not in what you do. It's not in who you're with. It's not in the accolades. You know, it's in who you intrinsically are. And I think that's super important, especially, you know, for people right now that are going through that and trying to figure out who they are because what they did and how that defined them doesn't exist anymore.

(25:29): No, that's good. And I know when I meet with individuals also in transition, even just speaking those words to them, it can be such a breath of fresh air, even if they kind of walked into the meeting knowing it, or, yeah, I've heard that before, but something about when they're in that moment to hear. So I think for any of that listener to actually just know exactly that that's for them as well is if you are in transition it's to know that you are that beloved son or beloved daughter. And you know that God's got a better plan just as we've talked about this whole kind of episode. We control the inputs, but not the impact, which has been a big, big piece, man. That's

(26:07): That's great. Yeah. And people, people like before the meeting, they'll send me their resume and I'm like, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in your resume because that tells me what you did. And I don't want that to define you. I said, I want to know about your strengths and if you don't know them, this is the time to get introspective and figure out what those are. I want you to think about your passions. I want to think about how you were fearfully and wonderfully made and spend this time as a gift to figure that out because you may end up in some place you would never even expect and certainly much happier than you were instead of being so many men, particularly because they find their identity in their work are living lives of quiet desperation because they're in something they don't love and it's just for comfort and they just don't think it's anything better. So that, that that's really like you say that that's what I try to encourage them to think about because then they can open their minds to all kinds of new possibilities instead of, well, I'm this and I'm going to be this

(27:04): So good. Just what do you want? Not what not, what did your parents want for you? You talked to you about the pressure that your family just generation has put on that air force, whether they ever said it or not, you were kind of starting to think that that was a path you had to take. And man, just as parents, it's good for us to remind ourselves, to encourage our kids, to pursue what they want to do and not the pressures of what's going to pay a good salary or, or any of those components. What are you reading right now?

(27:33): I'm digging back into my Bible, man. There's nothing better source of wisdom than that. And I just finished Exodus now what a cool book. I mean just amazing story of perseverance, of overcoming adversity of trust. Despite, you know, not even seeing what was ahead of you, but just trusting that God was in it and Lord knows we need that message right now. So yeah,

(27:56): Absolutely. Yep. Yeah. I mean just fall on Moses a lot. I mean, you know, you talked about Moses and Aaron and what I love is when Moses is exhausting on his team and when he goes to his father-in-law Jethro, he's like, Hey, you need to start delegating. You're going to wear your team out. You need to start delegating. And that's been a big piece I've had to work with leaders now is just to delegate, to not do as much of like the, to do's, but pull the team in. And there's been a little bit of this, I think even in the working from home environment where, well, I don't want to give them too much. They're already busy or they're almost playing, you know, mr. Nice guy or nice woman, because they don't want to burden their team and sort of taking all this on. Well, that's not helping, it's not raising the leadership capacity organization. If you're doing all the work as the, you know, whether it's the owner CEO or just a leader of a team. And so yeah, talking about Moses and with Jethro encouraging delegation was I loved when I got to learn that lesson from leadership from the Bible. So yeah, I agree.

(29:00): And I think the flip side of that, that's true. Like I knew I had a, I had an assistant when I was at Baker and I was, I'm not an organized person. My wife would be happy to tell you that as, as my assistant would tell you, so I was trying to do all this stuff. It was mounting up on my desk. She came in one time and she goes, why don't you let me do that? And of course my thought was, Oh no, nobody's going to want to do this. She goes, I actually really love to do that. So could you let me do it for you? So there's that right? Where were we? We don't want to delete stuff because we hate it and then there's the other, and it gets back to control. So nobody's going to do it as well as I can.

(29:35): So I've got to do it myself, or maybe there was some time that some trust got broken, you gave it to someone screwed it up and you got the shrapnel for it. But, or again, you just have such a lofty idea of yourself that nobody could do it as well as me. Well, here's the reality. Charles de Gaulle said eloquently, the world's graveyards are full of indispensable men. So, and if you're a true leader, your whole thing is to become dispensable right? In your current role, because ideally there's a role ahead of you and your whole legacy, just like as a parent, right? I mean, there's the analogy is to develop our people, right? So hopefully they will out shut in us. Well, what does a parent want more than anything? That's what my dad told me. And I tell my kids, I want you to do better than what I did.

(30:23): Now. It's changed as I've come to new realization, I'm now the yardstick and what I've done, right? Just like their friends are not the yard, stick, the yard stick. And I love this as a Matthew Kelly ideas to become the very best version of yourself because you are uniquely and wonderfully made for a mission. And if you're going to achieve your fullest potential and be a wise steward of the life that God's given us, you've got to figure out what that is. And the cool thing about that is you can't figure it out unless you're in communion with creator because he created you and he knows the answer. So there's always an utter dependence on him. If you're truly gonna recognize what that is and not use your benchmark as well. I'm not as a good of an athlete or I'm not as smart or I'm not as wealthy. No, you gotta be the best version of yourself. And then the audience of one who has God is going to be

(31:14): That's good. You know, comparison has been something I've always struggled with, no matter what field it's been in, whether it was playing soccer growing up, or then in engineering than in the sales. Now in the coaching, there's always comparing something to someone. And then when I read John the end of John 21, I continue to go back to that where, you know, Peter just finds out, he's going to die. Jesus tells him how he's going to die. So it was Peter and Jesus were walking along the beach. He looks over and Peter sees John. And he's like, well, what about that guy? And Peter and Jesus says, you know, what is it to you? You follow me. And so for me, it's that reminder of who knows what else is going on with all these other people I have, I have to follow God, I've got to do my thing to follow. So that yardstick or you follow me, whatever that is, is so impactful that we are, you know, kind of staying in our own lane and stop looking around and comparing. So that's very, very helpful. So thank you. I could keep going for sure. But what is the best way for listeners to get ahold of Utah?

(32:18): Probably, you know, by email and I, I typically I'd like to say I checked my email off and I don't, and that's a T as in Todd wilKowski, w I L K O w S K I at F V T, which is https://frostbrowntodd.com/, my law firm, law.com.

(32:35): Thank you so much, Todd. Thanks for what you're doing in the community. And thanks for being on the home first podcast.

(32:40): Thanks for having me brother. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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