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In this episode, you’ll discover…

  • Dramatic ways the world has changed what it takes to win at work and at home (2:56)
  • The first step to achieving the best possible balance between work and family (6:49)
  • How to know exactly the right time to leave your job (11:40)
  • 3 red-alert signs that your job is ruining your life (14:35)
  • Why trying to control your life is a fool’s errand and what to focus on instead (23:35)
  • Why tying your identity to your job is a one-way ticket to a breakdown (and how to turn things around TODAY) (31:05)
  • The surprising way you prevent yourself from getting what you want (35:47)

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this is Corey. I'm excited for you here. This interview today with Julie Bauke. She owns a company that helps people find the best other career, maybe even a new job as well. What was fascinating about the interview is some of the things she's seen in her career, what from maybe a couple of decades ago of what people wanted out of their job to now, they want different things and it has to do with better home life and, and better just personal life. And so it's a fun conversation regarded that she talks about the number one question that she asks her candidates, which is what is the most important to you right now.

(00:59): And we talk about how that looks as well as control, how a lot of people have such a difficult time releasing control and how that's holding them back. So a great interview, a lot of good tips for someone who is helping prepare people to have a better career. So some great insights that we get to learn. I hope you enjoy the episode. Thank you very much. Hello is Corey Carlson. Welcome to win at home first podcast today I'm with Julie Bauke and she is the chief career advisor of the Baki group, which is a strategic career advisory firm. That's located headquartered here in Cincinnati, just an incredible woman that I've had a chance to engage with a great speaker. I've seen her speak. She's a trainer, she's a coach as well. She also has a radio show on 700 WLW and that's in Cincinnati. It has a lot of listeners, as well as her own podcast called the evolved career is a, her career has been about human resources and those different leadership roles that she's had as she's worked with just a variety of different individuals, helping them find their right next career move. And so I'm excited to have her on today, as we talk about what does it look like to win at work and at home for these leaders and what she's seen across the board. So, Julie, thank you so much for being on the show today.

(02:15): Thank you. I'm excited to be here. You know, I'm a big fan of you and your message. So I'm excited to add my 2 cents.

(02:22): Oh, that's awesome. Well, I guess let's dive right into, in those two sense is what have you been seen now, maybe even for the span of your career, say of what leaders used to do winning from work at home. And now what you're seeing now, like the, the change that you've seen that is required for a leader to win at work at home now, versus what maybe used to be the case.

(02:46): It was really thinking about back the way work used to be the way the worklife and the home life was so separate. You know, sixties, seventies, eighties, you really had that, you know, joked about nine to five. You know, we had the nine to job and because we didn't have the technology or work was just different. And a lot of people were in the type of jobs that truly ended when the bell rang at the end of the day, you could go home and be with your family and engage with your family. So the possibility and the opportunity was there to spend time, energy on both places for a good parts of our days. But if you think about how work has changed over the last several decades, and more recently, since March of this year, the line continued to blur from decade to decade.

(03:36): As technology came on the scene and we could do work from home. In fact, sometimes our employers required us to do work from home to where we are now over the last few months where so many of us, the vast majority of us who can have been forced to work at home. And so where there used to be a fairly defining line. We're now in a place where there is no line, the line is blurry if it exists at all between work and home. And so even back in the day, when you had a really bad day at work, it was very difficult not to bring that home. And if you were not happy at home, it was very difficult to bring it to work now because so many of us are we're living in a world. We're working home happens simultaneously under one roof. If you're unhappy any place, it's not a matter of leaving it at the front door. It's a matter of carrying it around with you inside of your four walls all day long. And that I think it just, it exacerbates, it really makes obvious when things aren't going well in either place. And that can just cause a huge ripple effect really in every area of your life.

(04:47): Yeah. That's so true. So what are you recommending? I mean, in your own life, but with those that you work with, of, Hey, how do you separate the two, even though you can't, but how would those blurry lines? What's the recommendation you're giving to leaders to help them be successful at both places?

(05:04): So the first thing, really, when we talk to somebody, we will ask them what is most important to you right now? And it's not just the question. When you, when you coach someone on a career move or a career change or a job change, you can never just operate in the vacuum of work. And so we start with a high level holistic conversation, which is about what is important to you right now, because what's most important to you will drive how you work or it should, for instance, let's say that you had a job where you were doing a lot of traveling, you know, back in the day when we traveled and you had a job where, you know, you were traveling a lot and then all of a sudden you had twins. Let's say, you're a man and your wife gave birth to twins.

(05:50): And now you've got little ones at home, your ability and anti hope, what you say in answer to that question, most important to you would be your family, your children. I hope you'd say that on any day, but all of a sudden you've gone maybe from an empty nest to two little ones. And so if you're in the process of saying, I need to do my work differently, the first question is what's most important to you right now. You can't work like you did any more because your priorities have changed where you might say before, my job's really important. Now you've got these little mouths at home who need you. And so you take a look at what's most important to you in the whole picture of your life. And then you decide how does work need to play into that so that everything works together because you're going to have problems.

(06:36): If you travel the 60% of the time, the two little ones at home, you're going to have trouble, not only as a father with your children, but also with your spouse. And so understanding what your priorities are, is your first requirement. Likewise, when the kids go off to college, that's the other end of that spectrum. But the kids go off to college. All of a sudden, maybe you can go back to work. Maybe you can work more wave. You can travel more. Maybe you and your spouse can pick up and move to a different place. And so your life priorities have to come first and what you figure out what you want in your life. Then you figure out how, what work needs to look like for you right now. And the beauty of all this is really is that it does change. And so your, your life priorities change because it could be because of children, it could be because of a health issue that you and your spouse have, or your partner have, or your parents have. It could be because you've had a big aha or something happened in your life. That's caused you to shift your priorities around. And so, as a result of that, once your big priorities shift, you have to look at work in the context of those changing priorities.

(07:50): Oh, that's good. Have you noticed a shift in your clients answers from say 10 years ago, if you were to ask the question a, what is most important to you right now where their answers more work-related and then if you were to fast forward to right now, and you ask that same question, you find it being more personal, more family. I mean, have you seen a shift in your client's answers over the years?

(08:13): Yeah. You know, I'll tell you what the big, yeah. So I've seen a few shifts because I've been doing this for about 25 years. So I've seen a lot of shifts and probably the first one was nine 11. That was probably our first collective wake up call about what's important. And that a recession followed that and people were just, you know, they, they really were forced to deal with what is most important. And when you see some of the horrific images, just even if all you saw, even if your only experience with nine 11 was seeing the horrific images on television of people, jumping to their deaths from their, you know, that had to affect you. And we saw that affect people as they looked at. Wow. You know, I've been way too immersed in work. And I have just gotten a wake up call as to what is important.

(09:11): So nine 11, for sure. It was a ship. What happened there? What we saw happen there was before nine 11, and it really wrecked the economy. As you may recall, there was like, you either had to, there were people who were like, well, I think I might want self-employment or consulting. I think I might want to work for a company. And I tell people that in my experience, after that, it all changed. I mean, that changed and it became more acceptable to look for work no matter who paid you for it, look for work. That compliments what you want in your life. So back then before nine 11, if you were to say, I might want to become self employed, but I might want to work for a company. People looked at you as if you were indecisive. And at that point we coached people, pick a path.

(09:59): You have to pick a path. Well, in the comeback, after nine 11, in my experience, people weren't expecting that anymore. It was just, there was just a shift. So then basketball or would, you know, people are getting back on track. People are getting back to work. Things are starting to come. Then we have the recession of 2008, which had a similar effect where people were saying, Oh my gosh, you know, I thought I was invincible at work. I thought I could never be laid off. I thought getting laid off was for losers. And you could see people who had always been at the top of the food chain, performance wise, also getting laid off. And they were like, Whoa. And so the, one of the things I saw then is that there's the shift around. And it was just, it was like that seven year later reminder that work is not what it's all about.

(10:55): They can go away in a heartbeat. And one of my favorite phrases when I, that I use, when I'm speaking or talking to someone about maybe they want to change jobs, but they're afraid, or they are afraid of being disloyal to their company. It's interesting. This has always been one of my favorite phrases in my work, but it resonates more after a few of these big tragedies work company wants you until the day they don't and you need to act accordingly on the other side of that is you should stay with your company as long as it is in your best interest to do so. So people who, you know, just coached a woman recently who really wanted to leave a really nice job for an even better job. And her company had given her, I mean, they had done a lot for her and she felt guilty if she felt horrible about leaving.

(11:47): And I said, look, I said, they didn't do those things for you out of the kindness of their heart. They did those because you earned them. And this next move I, and I said to her, do you really think that if your company hit, you went in the tank, that they would think more than once about having to lay you off? Well said, no, it wouldn't trust me. You know? So you have to do what's right for you. And that's, you can operate with integrity, but your loyalty should always be to yourself and your family and your own career and your own job security and stability first, not to your, to your employer. And that's really, especially for baby boomers who were really raised that way. And, you know, being the company, man or the company woman. And I certainly fall in that category that can be seen as disloyal, which I think is just silly. So, you know, through the T through the early two thousands, we really started to embrace that. And now, and then on top of that layer on top of that millennials, so these generations are like, what are you? People thinking? You know, they look out for themselves. Number one, and here

(12:54): They've seen their parents lose their PRI you know, they're there for one day or they've seen their parents lose their pension, whatever it may have been. They've seen the disloyalty that their parents received and I'm like, forget this.

(13:07): Exactly. And it makes me laugh because they're like, well, you know, I really want to be happy and satisfied at work. And what our generation wants to say is you have to pay your dues. And what we're really saying, when we say that is you haven't suffered long enough. Right. You know, we want to be happy at work because we've earned it. Well, I gotta tell you, I think the millennials absolutely have the right idea. We all should want to be, feel satisfied with our work yet year after year after year, the survey say that up to 70% of us are not, and that hasn't changed that a number is not budging. So now here we are in the COVID wake up call of 2020. And it's just so interesting to see. So those last, I hope that those last vestiges of I have to hang onto a job.

(14:03): I hate because darn it. I should just be grateful to have a job. I hope that that is on its way out because the, the thought, and I know there's a lot of still people think, well, you know, well, gosh, there's a lot of people out of work and I should just be grateful. I have a job. No, no, no, no, no, no. If you are miserable, if your relationships are suffering, if your health is suffering, if you hope every Sunday that you get the flu during the day. And if you are in any of those places where you are really kind of wasting time until the Workday's over, and then four more work days, then you have a weekend. You have to take a serious look in the mirror and decide that you deserve more than that. And these younger generations are, I think, giving us a nudge that way and the coming behind him.

(14:52): Absolutely. They're like, yeah. So that for them think about it. So your millennials are the ones who want to take a take off in the middle of the day and go work out. But they want to work on a project at home when they get home at night and we've been like, Oh, you can't do that. Well now COVID and, and work from home is telling managers, you can't watch your people every minute. What you need to do is manage to results, not time in chair. And so it's, I think COVID has given us that extra nudge over that line. So the blurs

(15:23): And truth be told some of those old school managers have enjoyed working out in the afternoon themselves. They've been joking. Don't talk about that. That's right. So if you were, obviously can't make a prediction, but as you talk about that, nine 11 shifts with people start to wake up. I need to start doing work that I like then in 2008, it became a I'm disposable, unfortunately, and kind of need to shore up. What more about what I care about in control of my career with COVID the prediction that you would make, or maybe even you're starting to hear it from your clients. What, what do you think this next shift is going to be when with people what's most important to you right now? That question, what do you see that answer becoming if not, are here in an already?

(16:06): Yeah. I think that I, a lot of people are, you know, it's funny Corey, the first month or two of coven, our business froze up because people were scared. They were paralyzed into inaction. They were just trying to survive day to day, whether it was fin figuring out how to get the kids educated, figuring out how to work at home with a spouse working or with just a lot of noise in the house. And they were really focused on the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, getting that stuff in order. Then what happened is, so that was probably I'm going to say that was March, April starting it. And then may it started, we started to get, and even may was a little slow. We started getting uptick and we started hearing from people who said being forced out of the workplace, either laid off or furloughed or forced into the home to work, seemed to give people the mental and physical space to ask themselves some hard questions.

(17:16): So you had people who in the past could say, well, I'd love to change jobs, but I'm so busy at work. I don't have time. Well, now all of a sudden you're not commuting. Maybe you do have more time to think about what's next. And maybe you're in a situation where you're actually enjoying being around your family. You've got it all kind of figured out now. And then we've got people who I've talked to. Some people who live in really big cities who have said now why exactly my living here so expensive, I'm not able to save for my future. And by the way, my company is going to a work from anywhere. And, and so are a lot of other companies. So what if I move to where I want to be? And then it's, let's see, I want to live in a very small town in Iowa because my family grew up there, but there's no companies there because of COVID. There are more companies available for you to apply to who don't care if your butt's in a seat. Yup.

(18:20): As long as your face is on zoom.

(18:23): Yeah. And so I just, this is a friend of mine sent me or tag or no, it was on Facebook. She's traveling agent and there's some resorts in Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Mexico that are offering workplace getaway. Yes, please, two weeks. And you go and they have all the business connect, all the business stuff set up, you have a fully functional business center. They're going to feed you. In other words, they want to take you out of all this work at home stuff. You're probably still gonna work. Cause it's the idea is it's a working thing and they want you to come to the resort and they will wait on you while you work. So all you're doing is changing your place. And I have heard that from so many people who've lost their jobs and are thinking about, they're like, well, wait a minute. Especially people in their fifties are saying, well, you know, we kind of wanted to live in the Southeast anyway, might this be a good time for us to move? And so I think people were hearing, people's thinking opening up, not only in T in terms of how they work, but what they do and where they live. And it's pretty exciting, especially for people who, if you have kids at home, there's still an, you know, instill in school. That's a much harder. Right. But there's a lot of us that don't. And so I think we're going to see much more, you know, much more movement around the country and then from company to company.

(20:00): Yeah. It's so interesting for sure. Oh, fascinating. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at quarry M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning boat at home and at work and living in life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you. So, as you mentioned, the quarantine, the change you're seeing how the changes affected you personally from habit you've dropped off, you've added in things is just a leader that you are wanting to make sure that you keep going forward.

(20:55): So we have a physical office, but it's funny because my two people that work with me, they go to the office, the physical office more than I do. And they've been a little bit hesitant to do coaching by zoom. Well, now that they've had to they're like this isn't that bad. No. So we've said to our clients, it also, I think it also opens up because my two people felt that way on my staff and we know that so did clients. And so there used to be sort of this trend toward, well, I just want to meet, meet with you in person. You know, I want to, we need to sit down and meet in person. So it really opens up our client pool to people. I mean, we've had clients in other cities for sure, but more people understand that they can effectively be coached on career change and career transition on zoom. Because again, we've all been forced into it. And so personally I love it. I don't like the confines of having to go into an office. I always say, I'd make a terrible employee at this point.

(22:02): That's why you became the boss.

(22:04): Exactly. Yeah. And I think I always tell people in their forties, in their late forties, I said, you really need to start thinking about what your, what your fifties and up job is going to be, because I promise you as you get deeper into your fifties, the crabby, or you get, unless you're willing to take direction, frankly, for stuff that doesn't make sense. You're just like, wow. You know what? I've paid my dues. So, so yeah. So I, I actually like it. It's, it's done nothing but positive.

(22:31): Oh, that's fantastic. And my book went home first. I have it in four different sections. If you will, the first one's on you, like, how are we doing with our self care? Maybe our dependency on God, whatever it could be. And so how are you doing on, on you, especially as a business owner, you talked about the beginning of quarantine being slow for the business, and now there's an uptick, but how have you navigated these times for yourself? Like what have been the things you've been putting in place that maybe other leaders or other business owners can learn from you of the things that you did that have worked as well as may? It didn't work.

(23:09): Yeah. So, you know, I think, well, here's what a trend. Here's what I've noticed among the people I'm closest to. There are people who like to work toward having control of everything around them, in their lives. And those people are really, really struggling. I don't, I know that even when we think we have control over things, we don't. And so it's an illusion. And so I keep reminding myself that as sort of a natural optimist, I keep reminding myself that great are going to come out of this and that there is opportunity out there in almost every sector of life to take advantage of the new reality we're living in. And that if I just focused on what the opportunity and the possibilities are and keep reminding myself that, you know, it's kinda scary to think. We really, you know, it's sorta like we hadn't before COVID we had the illusion that we knew that we thought we knew what was going to happen in September and October and November, because we've gotten into these rhythms.

(24:18): And we knew well back to school time and like August, here's a great example. August is a real, is a pretty slow job search month because people, generally people are getting the kids back to school, going on vacation, et cetera. But September and October always rock. And so every year, because people have the kids back, they can start thinking about their career. So every year we know we're going to have an uptick in September and October. Well, this year we have no idea what's going to happen in September and October. And I keep reminding myself that any thought we had that we had control over September and October was simply an illusion. And we don't know what's going to happen from one minute to the next, let alone one month to the next and any attempt to control our environment. It's out of our control.

(25:09): And so trust God, trust life, trust the universe, trust that good things are going to come out of this for those of us who are looking for them. And because that's just kind of the way I'm wired anyway. So for me, it's not that hard now. I love being out and about, and I'm definitely one of those people who've been to restaurants and appropriately masked and everything. But I do miss going to reds games. I miss live music. I miss all that stuff and it doesn't quite cut it online. And so for me, it's keeping that the zoom meetings and the online stuff to a minimum, I don't read. I, I just, I try to stay away from bad news and dark things when I'm in it, when I'm in a down mood and just read and watch happy light things and novels and fun stuff,

(25:58): I take your mind off the stress for sure. Yeah.

(26:00): Yeah. Cause it's, if you put the news on and keep it on all day long, I'll have a breakdown. So I try to just, you know, and some days are easier than others, but for me, it's really just keeping, reminding myself that we're not in control anyway. So if we thought we were, this is an illusion, and I'm hoping that, you know, people, this has taught people to take a deep breath and recognize that someday we're going to be back at it. And we're going to wish we had some of this time back

(26:28): That's for sure. Yeah. I work with a lot of clients and just even friends where control is such an issue to the point, maybe they don't delegate. So it's not even a COVID or what's happening to the world is even just in their own domain that they don't delegate as well because of control. It may not get done as well. Or the harder I work, the more I control the revenue, which is obviously not directly connected. How are you helping your clients who have the control issues? I mean, it sounds like it's very easy for you to say, Hey, depending on other things, not just a being in control, what are you advising some of your clients and others just to help those leaders who are like, man, I struggle with control. I just can't let go.

(27:10): Yeah. Well, my first question back to people who are really struggling with that is let's get really clear on what you can and can't control. And let's start with your, you are the locus of control and the only thing you can control is your reaction. And so we'll say, I'll say it. So if someone's really frustrated with something like something that's going on in their search, I'll say, okay, let's focus on the things. We can do something about what are those things? And I make them tell me what those things are, you know, because I could say, well, it doesn't, you don't sound like you don't have any control over that. But of course, when people come to that conclusion on their own, for instance, you know, in one of the biggest frustrations with job search is people don't hear back from companies even after sometimes. And this, this drives me crazy too. Frankly, clients spent an entire day with a company interviewing and never hear from the company again. And I'm like that isn't professional.

(28:04): Sure. It's one of their values. Right. We respond to clients. Never.

(28:08): Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, so I'm going to go spend a day. I'm going to spend a lot of time preparing to be interviewed by your team. I'm going to go spend the whole day. And then I hear crickets. So after a while, I assume I didn't get that job, but you bet I'm going to tell everybody I know about my horrible experience. So let's say I'm going through that. So let's say I have a plan, we'll say, okay. Or, you know, these, you know, I've reached out to these 12 people that I thought were my great contacts and they're not calling me back. Okay. I'll say, all right. So what can we do about that now? Here's, here's some actions we can take. First of all, let's give them the benefit of the doubt. They didn't, you know, they're overwhelmed as well. And sometimes when we're in job search, we really do forget that it's all about, it's not all about us and that our job search is not everybody else's number one priority.

(28:54): And so we get really prickly and sensitive. So we'll say, okay, all right, we'll say, remind, okay, we'll go back and say, all right, this is your first priority. It's nobody else's. And so how do we stay appropriately present and on people's radar screens without bugging them? What do we have control over? Well, we don't have control. We can remind them. We can follow up and nudge them a little bit, but we can't control their response. If a company's looking to fill a position and you've applied to the position and you'd really like to have the position again, you can't make them hire you or want to hire you, or you can't even make them move forward. You don't know what else is on their desk. And so what can you do? What can you do to work on yourself, make yourself a more attractive candidate.

(29:39): So we're constantly bringing you back into can't control, especially where this really becomes a challenge. Corey, especially is with clients who are used to being really successful, who are used to picking up the phone, get an immediate response because of their title or their position. So let's say you're a C level person. And all of a sudden you're looking for a job or you've been like, go, you already feel bad about yourself, regardless. We just do. And now I'm reaching out to some really good friends of mine and nobody's calling me back. People aren't calling me back. Like they used to, when I was a CFO, kind of a hard pill to swallow for people. Right? Because you lost your position.

(30:21): Do you do a lot of coaching or helping your clients through identity where they've tied their identity to being that CFO?

(30:28): Oh yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's actually, my team has been doing this for 50 plus years between the three of us. So we can pretty much recognize that right away. It's the people who have the hardest time when work has been so much of your life. And that is how you, and that is how you identify yourself. That's where you get your jollies from losing that job is like losing your arm. And so the good news is with most people after they go through that, they don't do it again. Yeah. They learn.

(31:02): Then they start winning at home. First, we've got to flip the script. So we started doing that first. Right?

(31:07): Exactly. I mean, how many people, I mean, you run into them all the time where, you know, they're, you know, they're kicking butt at work, but you know, it's, it's ice cold at home. The kids don't see them. The kids don't know them. And you T you shake your head because you just know that someday they're going to regret it and it's going to be too late. It's heartbreaking. But I'll tell ya, you know, it's interesting when you, one of the, so one of the things I say to people, when I meet people, I'll say, well, what do you do? And I love listening to their answers. Anything that smacks of, I work for Proctor gamble, or I work for TQL depending on their circumstance. I will say, that's not what you do. That's who pays you to do what you do? What do you do? And they'll go, Oh, I'm like, yep. Self identify with your profession and your expertise and your skills, not your employer.

(31:57): Wow. That's interesting. I never heard it framed that way to identify with yeah. What'd you do and not the employer.

(32:03): Yeah. I mean, because if you get, let, go from TQL on Friday and Monday morning, you still have the same capabilities. You just have to go find somebody else who wants those capabilities, find them a value. Right. And they're out there, they didn't strip you. I mean, all you, the only thing, you know, you're between opportunities. There's no shame in that. We've all been there, especially. I mean, by now, we've all been there. And so I think that that to close an association, if all of your, when you think about the top five things you're proudest of in the last 20 years, if all of them are work-related things, I think you've got to step back and reevaluate that, you know, the, the, the big integrated life that you, that you that's much healthier.

(32:49): Yup. And so interesting just as you even talk about the span of your career, how you've seen that change amongst clients, which is neat that it's, it's headed back to taking care of yourself, worrying about your family and, and not just the job. So it's neat to see that, but it's, it's still hard. It is still very hard for people to figure out how to balance the pressures, the demands of our work job, as well as, as when at home. And we can just wait in our personal life as a whole.

(33:14): Yeah. And I think, you know, we all, so one of the things we will ask clients is, you know, tell me what you want to do. What do you want more than your next job? And most people can't answer that. What they'll do is immediately go to what they don't want. And I think that we are not as a people, we are not used to talking about what we're good at, what we want, what we value about ourselves. We aren't used to it because we're told don't brag. Yeah. So when you say to, somebody will say, what are your priorities? You know, I do this talk to women's groups. I call you can have it all as long as you know, what your it is. And our, it changes like, like, you know, w w my, it now is very different because my kids are launched.

(34:06): They don't need my it, you know, I, can't my number one priority. Give me my kids. They're gone. You know, of course, they're my number one priority, but that's not where I spend my time. I don't need to. And so I can sit around all day waiting for them to call me, need me, but that's, I don't want to live like that. And they don't want me to live like that. So, understanding what is most important to you right now, and then making sure that you are pouring into that and assessing that, you know, how you get a performance appraisal at work, how would you, and, and a lot of times before that you have to do like a self appraisal, which we all hate. What if you did that at home? And this is what you talk to people about, obviously, but what's going to matter in five, 10, 20, 30 years. And it doesn't mean you shouldn't do a good job at work, but you've got to learn. You've got to learn when to be on and when to be off and develop strategies that work for you and your personality and how to do that.

(35:04): Yeah. And so good. I do think the corn team, plus everything you just mentioned does give us permission, should push us into the, what do we want? Because when we do what we want, we come alive. We come where we're happier at home. We're happy at the office, the way we engage with other people, we could have more empathy for coworkers. If we like what we do. But if we are just miserable, then it just contributes to a toxic work environment. If people don't like being there. And so, and that's, that's really good to start identifying what we want and push towards that.

(35:38): I think we're so afraid to say what we want. No, we are. And we're, I don't know if we're just afraid that if we say it we'll feel like a loser, if we don't get it, or if we just don't know what we want, and I find it's probably more the latter say what God has to do, you, what would your ideal next role look like? Well, I'll tell you what I don't want. You know? Okay, great. Now, what do you want? And we just get really like, weird, like, well, you know, maybe this let's say you don't, if you can't articulate it, you're darn well, never going to get it. So let's start by you being able to articulate it. Then let's figure out how to get there.

(36:23): Now, I like that a lot. And then even scripturally where Jesus said, what do you want? And, you know, and first words out of his mouth in the book of John is what are you seeking? And then when you sees a sick man, it's what do you want? He'll like, what do you want? And it goes back to that. And we've lost sight of that. So not only we lost sight of the spiritually, we've lost sight of it, vocationally. And so I do think it's, it's kind of digging down deep, figuring out what

(36:50): Yeah. And if those are really scary questions and we've not been trained to think that way. Yeah.

(36:55): Yup. No, that's good. Well, this has been, this has been really fun. I could keep talking, but I we, we obviously can't talk forever, but I've enjoyed this a ton. How can listeners get a hold of you, Julie? What's the best way to reach out to you to learn from you? And

(37:11): You can connect me on LinkedIn. You can check out our webpage, the bulky group.com. I also have a Juliebauke.com page Instagram, Facebook about key group. I'm all over the place. And on a 700 WLW every Wednesday morning at 10 35 was fat Sloan kind of hard to miss me. I want you and all your listeners to believe that you deserve the best in life and the best in your career and have the courage to go for it.

(37:38): That's fantastic. We'll have to close on that right there. So thank you very much.

(37:45): I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@ corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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