Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • How “Dad-Envy” causes you to abandon your children (4:24)
  • The “Daddy Saturday” secret maximizing your time and forging unbreakable bonds with your children (6:36)
  • Why you can spend time with your kids, but still be an absent father (7:41)
  • How to continue to be there for your children when they no longer want you around (10:10)
  • An almost magical way to learn more about your children in a few days than you were able to learn over several years (15:45)
  • A morning routine that helps you become a better parent (18:51)
  • The “four bucket” system to eliminate meaningless distraction from your life (leaving more time for your family and your passions) (20:15)
  • How the current health crisis makes you a better parent (22:31)
  • The huge difference between provision and presence and how making the wrong choice can destroy your family (24:54)
  • A “top 1%” skill you can give your children to help them succeed in life (33:17)
  • Why cleaning up after your kids can be a blessing in disguise (41:46)

Want to connect with Justin? Visit DaddySaturday.com or DadBoss.com. You can also find him on LinkedIn.

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

Hello, this is Corey. I'm excited for you to listen to this interview. I have with Justin batt, Justin batt is doing fantastic things for dads and parents as a whole. So I look forward to learning from him and what he's talking about. We talk about dad and VI and how to overcome it. We talk about ways to optimize our life. He's very good about the ideal day, the ideal week, and we can learn from him, talk about being comfortable, being uncomfortable and what that looks like.

(00:51): Having courageous conversations in our home, as well as having movement will give us momentum. So many good things. I know I left this conversation with inspiration and a lot of ideas to try to implement. So hope you enjoy this episode as well. Thank you. Hello is Corey Carlson. You're listening to Win At Home first podcast. I'm excited have Justin batt on the call today. And it's interesting how I actually learned of him was, was actually via LinkedIn. And it was, it just showed up in my feed and it was you holding hands with your sons, bringing them to Christ. And I was like, that is so cool. Someone who is bold enough to put that on LinkedIn, which LinkedIn still is trying to find out. When do we talk about home? You know, verse all obviously always talking about work and here you are putting that out there.

(01:46): I was like, who does this? And who is this guy? So it caused me to look into you. And at the time I didn't, I was unfamiliar with some of the cool things you've done from daddy Saturday, the book, and then that whole mission you've done, which led me to watch the TEDx video. That's had about 5,000 views, which is pretty cool video and in your talk and just hearing your heart, and then plus obviously dad boss, which is a new module that you've launched for it to help equip, empower dads. So just a lot of neat things that you've done and it all became because of your boldness to post on LinkedIn. And so I'm excited to have you on the show and just to learn more about you and what you're doing and what you're going after and share with the winter home first audience.

(02:29): So thank you very much, Justin, for being on the podcast. Well, thank you. It's you didn't know of me, but I knew about you in the podcast and, and certainly I've seen you and, and what you're doing as well. So it's, it's a great guide. Doesn't work by coincidence, right? And there's no, there's no coincidence in while we're having this conversation today. So excited to be here as well. Yeah, well, that's cool. Well, you know, one thing in looking into a lot of your things you did, I mean, it, it's going to cause me to have to up my game as a dad as well, you know, which is so interesting. That's part of the thing I'm excited about talking on this podcast is what I do here at different times is when our listeners and you and I being included of other podcasts we listened to is to not feel the guilt of man. I'm just not doing well as that guy or that leader or that dad. And, but instead it's not about that, but it's teaching and equipping to be intentional. So love to just hear kind of a little bit about your story and how you got to this moment that you want to share with the audience.

(03:34): Yeah. I'd love to, and I'll even start with the fact that what you just hit on is so important. And I think that as I spent the last couple of years, really trying to reach men and reach dads and help them up their dad game. It's interesting because I've learned a lot along the way. And I made a lot of mistakes in terms of that outreach, because there are, there's so many walls and barriers and obstacles that we as men put up in front of ourselves in terms of self improvement. And there's this thing that I've found it's called dead envy. And it's actually interesting because at points I mentioned it in the book that he, Saturday, I talk about the fact that there are times where I try to actually insight that because sometimes men are also competitive, right by nature. And if you can get that competitive spirit going a little bit, it causes them to move forward.

(04:16): So for certain types of men, it can be a positive thing for others. It can be a negative. So, you know, it's interesting as men is, as we think about this and, and my evolution as a dad has been an interesting ride in and of itself. And God's brought me to a unique point for a very unique reason in the time that we're in. I started about a decade ago, in fact, 12 years ago. And my wife was going into the entrepreneurial journey that she was going to go on and left teaching and decided to open a couture bridal boutique wedding dresses. And our daughter was born at the exact same time. She opened the store, her name's Hayden, Olivia. We named the store after her Hayden, Olivia bridal. And I found myself as a dad of two weeks old or a two week old baby at home with her all day on Saturdays.

(05:01): When my wife worked her store and then fast forward, we added three boys to the mix every two years. So now I had four kids at home all day on Saturday. My wife's working. I'm a corporate America dad. So I'm traveling a lot during the week, you know, burning the candle at both ends. I'm stressed out, I'm overwhelmed and overcome feeling inadequate, insecure on many of those Saturdays. I want to be there for my wife. I want to have a great time with my kids, but frankly I'm just like burnout out. I'm tired. I had what I call a dead hangover, many points on those Saturdays. And we were just, weren't having the day that I wanted to have with my kids. I had this blessing of this time with them and I wasn't making the most of it. Wasn't maximizing it. And so I just had that kind of calling from God to say, Justin, like I have more in store for you as a father.

(05:44): I have more in store for you and your role with your kids and your family. I need you to step in and step into what I've called you to. And so I just started to plan those days together. And I would start during the week, I'd be intentional. I'd a game plan. If you will, for what we're going to do, I get the kids all hyped up and then we'd go into, I keep it a secret. We go into those Saturday mornings and they'd wake up. And it was like running into a stadium. They'd come running out of their rooms. What are we doing today? Dad I'd have it all set up on the table and then we'd go and do our adventure. Many times. It was just what we had around the house. Just being silly and doing challenges or obstacle courses or whatever we could do in our backyard.

(06:22): Sometimes we'd go places. But what I found was that by being intentional, by being engaged and being fully present with my kids and creating that, what became known as daddy Saturday, that time with them, the relationship changed. Everything changed my relationship with my wife, my relationship with my kids, our communication and their desire to be with dad and have that time together. And it also changed far beyond Saturdays, right? Because daddy Saturday is about being daddy Saturday every day. And so that intentional engaged attitude went into my week and started to change the way that I approach my kids as a whole. And it was a short time after that, Corey, where I had found a, a mixture of success of formula that was giving me success with my kids and putting them and us on a trajectory to where I knew that we could go as a family and help them get to where they needed to go as, as adults.

(07:15): And so I was asked to do a TEDx about two years ago on fatherlessness. And I learned about this epidemic in our country of all these dads that are not in the home biologically, but then also all these dads that are physically present, but emotionally absent. And man, I was like, gosh, that was me for awhile. And there's all these other dads that I know that are struggling with the same things. I've got something that can help them. And so I wrote the book as a field manual to help dads just a practical guide to help them be engaged and intentional. And then we created an entire platform and now it's an international movement and we've got a daddy Saturday, Kenya, we've got a nonprofit established, we've created products and lots of tools. We have many more plan to help, help dads continue to be intentional, to be engaged and to change the next generation.

(08:00): That's awesome. And congrats, congrats on your boldness of hearing that or feeling that nudge from God,

(08:06): Jumping into it with both feet. And you've been doing it now with 12 years. Is that right? Yeah. So 12 years officially, right. As a, as a dad and doing these daddy Saturdays, I think the, the evolution is really been the last seven years or so where we've been fully engaged and then, you know, daddy, Saturday itself as a platform just launched really last year with the, with the announcement of the book,

(08:28): You just passed your one year anniversary for your book as well. And a w which is pretty fun. You got another book in store for you,

(08:36): Right? I do. I do. We've got another one that's in the works and it'll be out most likely in 2021. So we're excited.

(08:45): That's great. So Hayden, Olivia, how old is she? She's your oldest.

(08:49): Yeah, so my daughter Hayden, Olivia is 12 and then the three boys in a row, 10, eight, and six. Gotcha. My oldest

(08:56): Is 16 and I know other listeners have those that are in those teenage years. How are you starting to see some pushback already for us listeners out there that are we've, we've got those teenage dynamics. Dad, I don't want to do it this weekend. I'd rather play with my friends. Are you starting to see that now? And what is your advice for us navigating through some of those tough waters of some pushback?

(09:21): Yeah. You know, I think that I certainly seen that change happen. Hayden, Olivia is not interested in doing the slime challenge anymore. You know, the boys are all in on that all the time. It gets so easy with the boys. Cause if it, if it involves physical activity or some kind of dare challenge, like they want to do it. So yeah, she's pulled back a little bit and she's got a will learning, working to be a professional dancer. And so, you know, she's really focused on dance and a lot of her Saturday, she has dance. And so that's okay. And we've supported that. And you know, she's not involved in every daddy, Saturday or at full capacity. And there's a lot of time with just me and the boys. And so what we've done as a family is say, okay, how can I meet her, where she's at and how can I do two things?

(10:04): One is, I want her to always know that she I'm there when she needs me. And there's been plenty of moments where, because we've worked so hard at establishing those open communication lines, that when she's had challenges or she's feeling down, I can walk in a room and say, Hey baby, feeling okay before bed, I'll go in and have a conversation with her and, or pray with her. And she will open up and we'll have those conversations or we'll go for a walk. And so I think that's really important just to be there when she needs it the most. And to know that you're there for those, those times, we've also done things like daddy daughter, date nights. We've continued that since she's three years old, we don't do them as frequently as we used to because it is harder, but those have been a game changer.

(10:42): So any dad with a daughter, especially a teenage daughter, even if you've never done those, that's one of the biggest keys that I've found to creating a great relationship with your daughter. And you're doing a couple of things there. One you're showing her what a great man should treat her like. So you're setting a standard and expectation for having manners, opening doors, right? Treating her with respect, all those things that are lost in a lot of our society today, you're going to set the standards. So when she meets a guy and he's not doing those things, she's going to go, man, like this guy doesn't have it figured out. My dad did. He showed me the way. So that's one thing. I think the second thing is it really opens those communication lines. And when we're kind of not, not jiving or not clicking out to say, Hey, let's do a date night and we go and do that.

(11:23): And it's like a reset. It resets everything. Quick story, Cory, I had a dad who contacted me on LinkedIn. He was suicidal. He had lost his job financially. They were struggling. Yes, three kids. His wife has a business in the middle of all this COVID stuff. And his oldest daughter's going off to college next year. And he's got zero relationship with her and he just really wanted to reunite it. And I said, listen, do a date night. So he's like, man, I'm so nervous about this. And I, I know, just do it though. Planet asker, I keep moving towards your shoulder. Move towards you. He asked her, she said, yes, they went on this date night. And she loved it. They had a great conversation and she agreed to do those once a month until she leaves the house. And so it's a slow process.

(12:09): She's 17 years old. They've never done anything like that, but he's not rebuilding this relationship with his daughter. And it gives me chills even think about it, that now she's going to go to college and they have a relationship. So I think when you're whether boy or girl, a teenager, the important thing is they're going to start to pull away. And that's a natural thing to happen in. You want that to happen because they're moving into adulthood when they're going to be on their own by themselves. I think the important thing is to focus on how you have set up the relationships that you continue to move towards them as they're pulling away. And then when they need it, they'll come back when they need you the most.

(12:45): Man, I love that. And so neat. You were able to help that individual. We did an identity ceremony for our 13 year old daughter. Well, she's now 16, but when she turned 13 and I've had the opportunity to speak about that a lot. And I would also have individuals who had older daughters and be like, I wish I would have known that then when my daughter's 13, but now she's not. And just like you did, I have consistently said since then, it's not too early and it's not too late to do any of these things that we're talking about because the power of the earthly father to say something to their son or their daughter has so much weight of them just getting known. So as you talk about someone going to college, I've had a similar story of someone in there. The daughter was in the twenties that just to get that. And so for anyone listening, obviously a little too young, if they're an infant, you're not doing much, but when they start playing games, if you're complimenting their character over their competency, how they played, how they're a team player versus how many goals they scored, you're starting early. And that's awesome. And then are two examples of you can, it's never too late to start. So, so powerful.

(13:52): Yeah. That's a, that's a great point. I get, that's probably the number one question that I get asked is a lot of fathers who have, or later on in the game or have had kids are grown and gone, that they'll look at me and say, this is great. I wish I would've known this five, 10, 15, 20 years ago. And what I'll tell them is it's never too late to start, right? Again, you start moving towards your kids. They're going to eventually move back towards you. And you never know, they may leap back towards you because it's what they've always wanted. They want that natural relationship with their father because it's the relationship they want with their heavenly father. So that's the example of the same thing happening here on earth. And so it's a natural occurrence that they may move back to you.

(14:27): It may take some time. There may be some resistance, but eventually they will. And so it is never too late to start another great tip for your listeners that we do. I was given this by a dear friend. It's called winner's travel. And we just believe that winners travel with their kids. And so we do something at 10, 13, 16 years old, where I take each of my kids one-on-one on a dad trip and it's just the two of us and we, anywhere they want to go and we do whatever they want to do. And we're blessed to have the means to be able to do that. We'll even go do some international trips along the way, but I've done two so far with Hain. Olivia Blaine just turned 10. So he'll have his trip this year. And we've been to New York and LA for Hayden had the most amazing times.

(15:11): And I'll say too, those were, those are milestone markers in our relationship because we always go back to those two trips. We talk about those two trips and we will talk about those trips for the rest of our lives together. I've learned more about her in 72 hours and built a relationship with her in 72 hours on those trips than I have in years of being at home with her. And so I think that there's a really key point to traveling with your kids. Doesn't have to be expensive, extravagant or extraordinary. If you go camping, it's just getting out of the house, getting out of your rhythm and creating that one on one time together. And that's a pivotal thing to do with your kids.

(15:48): So awesome. What were the ages? You have it set, what'd you say? 10, 13, 16,

(15:53): Yeah, 10, 13, 16. The way that we've done it, 10 is anywhere in the U S 13 is anywhere in the U S the surrounding islands and sixteens anywhere in the world. And that's, that's awesome. So I've got my work cut out for me.

(16:05): You do, you got to keep hustling so you can afford to do all this. That's great. And you're right. It doesn't have to be expensive. We went camping a few weekends ago with a we went in another family and I happen to bump into a buddy who is there with the son. I go to a big church here in Cincinnati. We do a lot of this, you know, camping and man camps. And the father son trip got canceled because of the quarantine. And so it totally changed everything, but his name's Jeff. Jeff's like, no, it's not stopping this father son bond. So we're going to go have this camping, you know, night out. So pretty cool. I love that. What's also impressive about you, Justin is you would think that this is your full time job. You know, you've got nonprofit, you're busy, you've talked about international. You talk about a second book coming out, but it's not, I mean, you're director of business development for a healthcare company. And so for those listeners out there, and even myself, it's help us understand how, how do you get it done? Like how do you do it all and still have success at work that you've not been fired yet. They still like you and want you around, but yet you're still having a, an amazing impact for the kingdom and as well as winning at home. So how have you done that?

(17:27): Yeah, it's you know, that's one of the things that I would say about me that, that I talked to people about when I say, why I, why they should listen to me or even hear what I have to say. It's because I'm a dad who is in the mix. I'm not a PhD. I'm not some person prescribing theory. Like I literally have three jobs and a nonprofit and a foundation I'm trying to run all at the same time and being a data for kids. I'm in the mix. So I'm doing this thing just like everyone else have the same challenges, the same struggles, the same obstacles. And I just tend to put mine out there. Right. And we have transparency for the world so they can see it. And I feel like that's how people can learn. So for me, a lot of it comes back to optimizing my life.

(18:10): So my mornings are the catalyst and the key pivotal thing to the rest of my day. It's the only way I get all this done. I get up early. I'm typically at 5:30 AM. It's my time. I'm by myself. Now we're on a farm. I've got this place called the prayer pavilion that overlooks the back farm. And it's got an amazing view. It's this little stone patio. And it's where the boys actually were, were giving their lives to Christ right there in that perfectly. And I go out there in the morning and I read my Bible and I pray and just spend time with God. One-On-One I then go exercise and get in my Spartan training. And then I'm ready to go. I'm in the house and I'm greeting the kids when they're waking up and I'm ready to get my day going. So I've met with God, I've engaged my spiritual health, my emotional health, my physical health.

(18:52): And now I'm ready to approach my day. I think that that morning routine time has been the catalyst to how I can do all of this. Otherwise I'd be stressed out. I'd be freaking out. I'd have all that on my shoulders. So I'd get it all off my plate at the beginning of the day and get it done. So I've invested in me. I've connected with God and now I can approach the rest of my day with tenacity. And then from there, it's really about organizing my day. So I planned my ideal week. I've planned my ideal day. I back into that. I know how much time I can allot to everything that's on my plate. And I've also set my life up so that anything that I do doesn't take away from my time with my family. So when I do Spartan training, right, I get out of the way in the morning before the kids wake up.

(19:33): So again, no impact on my family. Like they don't, if I'm up at four 30 and I'm doing that, they're sleeping, doesn't impact them at all. I've also focused on bringing them into things. So if I miss a morning or if I have to do something later in the afternoons, or we're doing something together, they're involved in that, they're a part of it. So I'm not doing things like, I'm not saying anything it's golf, but I'm not going away and golfing for five hours and leaving my family because my time is so precious. My time is so scheduled that I can only do things that are going to either move me forward, move my business opportunities forward to move my family forward. And that's how I've organized my life. I've got buckets, faith, family, fitness, finance. Those are my four buckets. If it doesn't fit into those buckets, then I don't do it.

(20:15): And I've become better. I'm not perfect by any means at saying no and saving my best. Yes. For those, those four buckets that I just mentioned and laying my life out like that, I think I've used the Michael Hyatt has a full focus planner. In fact, we white labeled it. We have the dad boss planner that people can purchase when they join dad boss. For the very reason for that, I needed something to help me schedule my time, schedule my day and all of that ladders up to my, my bigger goals that I've set. So my tenure goals, my five year goals, my annual goals, those daily occurrences, all ladder up into those goals. That's how I've done it. And I make it sound like it's easy, or like, I'm good at it. It's not half the time. It's a mess. Right? And you get interruptions, you get emergencies, things, blow that whole thing up.

(21:04): You don't sleep well at night. So you miss your morning schedule, you oversleep. Like those things happen to me, just like everyone else. A kid gets sick in the middle of the night and comes in and then, you know, you don't get sleep. So like that stuff happens. It's not perfect. But what I would say is that because I'm planning and I'm organized, I'm optimizing my day on the regular, then more days than not, I'm moving forward with serious momentum. And that's how I get everything done. So when those, those disruptions, those emergencies, those interruptions do happen. They're not complete disruptions to the long term progress. I'm hoping to make. Absolutely.

(21:37): And by having the ideal day, ideal week, when you get off track, you've got something to recap

(21:42): Where

(21:43): Your old self, I know my old self before I did some of those plans. I had nothing to read

(21:47): Calibrate too. I mean, I just was just basically good bouncing along the water,

(21:52): Trying to figure things out. But once I got the things in place and it's like, alright, now I can

(21:56): Start to steer the ship. You know, now that it's moving, I can redirect it. So, so much easier. A hundred percent. That's right. And I think too, the one mistake that I made for a long time, and we talk about this a lot in dead bosses, you plan your day on paper, on purpose, and you do it at the beginning of the week and you don't make two separate schedules for business and for personal or family. I think that's the one positive thing that's happened with COVID now is it's forced people to be at home. It's forced the integration of work and family. And so now I've joined my kids now for three meals a day, right. Ate breakfast with them. I ate lunch with them. We had dinner together as a family. And we do that every single day. Like that is so awesome.

(22:33): And I'm kicking myself going, why didn't I go join them at school more often? Like I could plan that time into my day and go join them at school and have school lunch instead of the little kids table and, you know, have that moment with them and their friends. Like those are priceless moments. And I missed out on that because I was like, well, it's an interruption in my day. Right? At the time I drive down to school and had lunch, it's an hour, hour and a half out of my day. I've missed the time. Well, yeah, I've also missed that time with my kids and opportunity. So there are things like that that I want to get back to, but I've been very good about scheduling that time with my kids, date nights, you know, events, all those things are on my calendar.

(23:10): And I treat them just like a business meeting. I'm there on time. I don't miss it when I'm there. That's what I'm doing. Right. I'm not checking my email, not sitting on my phone with my kids or doing those events. Because just like you wouldn't do that in a normal meeting, like in our time right now, like I'm engaged with you do the same thing with my family, my kids. And I've put that on paper. And when you do that and you treat it that way, it makes it much easier to integrate work and family together. Yeah.

(23:34): One of my greatest pet peeves, you look over at that father or mother and they are on their phone, right? When a kid is there. Oh, I mean, it could get me boiling. Pretty good. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson, to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning boat at home and at work and living a life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you. You know, the enemy will come at us. And just to your point about, I got to go work. The enemy comes at us.

(24:28): Hey, dad is, it's all about provision. You know, our kids want our provision. And so often it's like, no, they want our presence. Like they want us right there. And they want presence or provision. I mean, yes, our kids do want the, you know, the goods too, but man, time and time again, the devil just come at us about his provision. You gotta go work. You gotta go see if you can grow the business. Especially you being business development, which has been, you know, I've always been business development as well. On the sales side, you can always work. There's always another email to send out. There's always another connection to make on LinkedIn. And so to have those boundaries to know, I gotta stop and pivot over to family, or I got to pivot over to the nonprofit and to have those time blocks, otherwise you could spend forever on each of your entities you're involved with.

(25:15): Yeah. And that's where I've come to realize that. Especially with kids, you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present. And as a dad, I think if more dads could just understand that and have that release, like there's only one perfect person. That's Jesus Christ. So clearly we're not Jesus. So we've all been released from that perfection that we're trying to attain. And for some reason, as a dad, like we have that private ego that arrogance, that we're pursuing towards that. And once you release yourself from the thought that you have to be perfect, especially with your kids, you just need to be present. Everything happens. I also love what you said about the provision piece. And I found so many dads that, that also they use that as an escape clause. They're like, well, gosh, you know, I worked hard today or I provided for my family.

(25:57): Like I did what I needed to do. That's my role as a father. And I'm like, man, that's just the beginning. That's where it starts. Your real role is to connect as the father to connect your kids to the father and to model that for them. Like, that's your actually your first job providing for them. Yeah. That's important. You need to put a roof over their head and provide for their four walls, clothing, shelter, food, all those good things. And a few, a few nice things along the way. But then like that's not where it ends, right? That's just, again, that's the beginning step. The next step is to be present with them and to help model for them what this looks like and to engage them so that when they leave the home, they have that basis. That foundation is an example to become great adults.

(26:38): And the other thing that I've also noticed is there's a lot of parents are reticent to let their kids fail. And they feel like failure is a bad thing. And they also feel like failure as an individual is a bad thing and they can never let their kids see them fail because they want to have this aura of again, maybe it's perfection. Maybe it's the results driven. Cause that's how they were raised, but they don't let their kids see them feel. I let my kids see me fail all the time. My kids laugh at me. They've learned more lessons from seeing me fail. And it's also far more is caught than taught. So I've helped them understand that it's okay to fail. And what do you learn from failure and how does failure move you forward? And in doing so, our kids experience failure at a young age.

(27:19): So guess what? When they enter into adulthood in the real world, they're going to come up against some significant obstacles. The enemy's going to come at them. They're going to have failure in their life, but are they capable? And do they have the mechanism to deal with it and deal with it in the right way and to move forward in the field faster. And I always, I like to say failure at eight is far different than 28, right? When you fill at eight, you, you fell off your bike or your ice cream cone fell off the top of your ice cream. And you know, you have no more ice cream. So you're at 28 is you lost your job because you weren't engaged and you weren't doing what you're supposed to do at work. And now you're depressed. You're stressed out. You're trying to figure it out. And if you don't have that mechanism to deal with failure, because you've never dealt with it before it comes up a big challenge. So I think that's another thing with fathers and this whole provision mentality is that you can't just be a provider, but you also need to let your kids see you fail as a part of that process. And that's one of things that you can provide for them at a young age. That'll help them out and adulthood. Yup.

(28:17): That's fantastic. Yeah. I haven't failed now. The consequences are so much smaller.

(28:22): Right. And seeing our, having our kids see us fail, what I've loved about the course

(28:30): Warranting in this whole COVID deal. Like I know in our house,

(28:34): My income was significantly hit because of public speaking engagements, they were all canceled.

(28:40): And so now some of them have, you know, came back via zoom or whatever, but to actually have those conversations in our head

(28:47): Of the ups and downs of money and what that looks like and yeah,

(28:53): Talking and having real conversations with our kids about business entrepreneurship and the ups and downs has been so fruitful in our family. And I assume for you guys, there's been a lot of conversations around it with intentionality,

(29:10): You know, this whole scenario between COVID and then black lives matter and all this going on in our society, we have had more, I would say, substantial or significant conversations in the past couple of months and we've ever had as a family. And my kids are also at the age now where they're getting old enough that we can have some of those conversations as a family and as a group. And we've had those dinner time, we call it kitchen table conversations. And you know, they've been some deep and challenging conversations. In fact, we, we filmed one that we did on, on racism and what racism is and defining racism with our kids. And it went viral all over all Facebook in particular. And it was, it was really me just having that open dialogue with my kids in a raw unfiltered fashion.

(29:54): And those have been huge conversations. I think the conversation around finances is another one where again, it goes back to failure. We as fathers don't want to let our ego and our pride down and say, Hey, look guys, as a family, like things are tight right now, right? Dad can't do speaking engagements because of covert or what's going on. So we've gotta, we gotta restrict the budget a little bit. It means we're not going to able to do some things. It means we're gonna have to be creative and other things. But as a family, you have that conversation and your kids come to understand that when they don't see that, or you don't give them a glimpse into it, then they never learned from that. So then when they get in that situation and they're older, they never saw mom and dad model that they don't know what to do when it gets tight or how you manage that process. And so again, it goes back to far more is caught than taught and having those examples, especially right now are so critical,

(30:43): Man. I love that I had a similar kind of eyeopening experience myself. My sister-in-law's African-American. So she's been my sister-in-law probably about seven years. I probably should know the exact date, but I don't, but never have had a deep, serious conversation about it until this summer. And I was on a run and it just kind of hit, I was just kind of praying thinking through what do I do in all this black lives matter? You know, how am I supposed to do and use my platform or whatever it may be. One of it was one of the promptings I had was do actually have a call, a zoom call with my kids, with Ashley. And it, we did the zoom call. And in part of that admitting failure was to Ashley as well as to my kids. I should have done this a long time ago.

(31:33): And, but we're going to talk about it. Now, we're going to have this conversation. She also pointed us to some other resources. One was a podcast of white parents teaching their kids about race. So we all listened to it. As a family, talked about the pros cons are not pro I mean our takeaways, if you will. And it was awesome, but it's things like that. Whereas a dad, I just had to swallow my pride of, I screwed up. I maybe should have done the sooner I did it, but here we go, we're gonna learn this together. So it was awesome. So our house has been similar to just, and I know others as well, where it's just, let's roll up our sleeves as a family and figure this out.

(32:07): Yeah. And it's not comfortable, right? Those conversations, or even a minute failure, it's never comfortable, but there's a reason why it's not comfortable. And if you can push through that initial barrier, the outcome far outweighs the discomfort you feel at the beginning. And it goes back to no daddy, Saturday principle of putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, often enough that you become comfortable being uncomfortable, right? So like I've done that so much. I've done it through, through Spartan training and cold showers and all those things. It's also come from having uncomfortable conversations with family, with friends, with, with strangers. And I've learned how to experience discomfort and be comfortable in that environment. And it's something I'm working to teach my kids as well. So when we have to have one of those conversations, whether it's as a family or someone else, it's easier to have, or to get through that initial barrier because we're used to being uncomfortable.

(33:00): And so it's another principle that your kids can get out of this. And the ability to have courageous conversations is a, is a lifelong skill set that you want your kids to be in the top 1% of society. This help them be able to have courageous conversations and communicate well like that in and of itself is a game changer for your kids. And the way that they see that happen or learn that skill is by watching you model that I'm going, it can be a crate. And just conversation between you and your wife. It can be a courageous conversation with one of your kids. It could be in a different situation where you just tell your kids about the scenario and they hear that as an example. Yeah.

(33:37): Yeah. That's fantastic. So we've talked about quarantine, COVID lots of changes. It's caused all of us. We know that. Are there things that you in your family, or maybe just you even personally in your own life, that because of the quarantine, you've changed new mindset, new perspective that you are coming out of this, you're going to do things differently.

(33:59): Yeah. A hundred percent. When I looked at my, I have my nice little routine, I had, you know, I was training for Spartan races and events. So my physical fitness, I had something to look forward to. We were going to church every Sunday, you know, and experiencing church in a physical environment. It was one of our goals was not to miss, you know, a physical week of church the entire year. We said that as a family goal we had a mission trip set for Africa as one of our family goals this year. So we had all these things on our, on our goal board and we're going after, like we always do. And the year we're starting off great and business goals and personal goals. And it was like this massive pivot. And so everything got disrupted just like everyone else.

(34:43): Right. But we had to sit down and say, okay, instead of we did this early Corey, and I think this was a key piece, we changed our mindset as a family and said, okay, we can look at this. Like a lot of other people are looking at it where it's like, I just can't wait for 2020 to be over. Or we can look at it and say, Hey, we're just getting started. We're just gonna have to redefine what it looks like. We're gonna have to make a substantial pivot, but 2020 is not lost on us. 2020 can still be the best year ever. We can still hit our goals. They're just gonna be different goals. And that's okay. And so we've done that and I have actually increased my income during this time. I've made a decision to leave the corporate environment and go into full time consulting, just announcing that. So that'd be the first piece on your podcast.

(35:26): And I've, I've done that to, again, free up my time to be able to allow myself to one, do what I love, but to contribute more to this platform and be there for my family in a different, we sold our house during the quarantine in five days, made a decision to move from Charleston, South Carolina, to outside of Nashville, Tennessee on a 15 acre farm and change everything for our family. We just did that over the last two months. Like it's been a two month thing where God prompted us for that. For a long time, we felt the call. We made the decision and he opened the doors and it happened. So for us, like we didn't stop. This has been a constant forward movement, equals momentum as a family. We always want to have momentum and be moving forward toward the calling that God's given us.

(36:10): And so for us, it was just pivoting, redefining our goals and moving forward as a family. Now, again, I say all these things and it sounds easy. There was a ton of struggle. And a lot of there was a lot of anxiety and a lot of challenging moments about selling, you know, selling a house is never easy. Buying a house is never easy, especially doing that in the midst of the quarantine and Cove and all that was going on and moving your family. Multi-State, you know, it's not a fun or easy process, but we got through all of that. A career change right. Is difficult. Why just look back at the last couple of months. And instead of looking at it and saying, gosh, we sat still and we're waiting for things to happen to us. We happen to COVID we as a family, went up against it and have gotten through it and are super excited about what's to come when the rest of the 20, 20 and beyond

(36:56): Man, I love that's so encouraging to hear, you know what I mean? We can allow the crisis to define us, or we can define the crisis for us. And I think that is our, you know, we too have been boulders a w I kind of hit a low spot in March after we talked about her earlier on the economy economy, I was pointing to a verse in Hebrews 12 about how God will allow a shaking so that the unshakeable rule remained. And it was just so eye opening to me and helped me get off my butt and get moving again, is that all those unshakable things, I was valuing my busy-ness and my schedule or whatever. It may be, those shake and crumble. So that the unshakeable, my relationship with God, the family, and some other things, it's like, no, that's what will remain. And so I love how you guys have just been so bold this year amongst the CRI crisis.

(37:53): Well, I think that, you know, again, going back to scripture, as I started to look at some of my biblical heroes and you look at David, you look at Paul, you look at Peter, you look at Joseph, you look at anyone that was in the midst of, of a challenge or a crisis. They all face barriers before their breakthrough. And the more significant the barrier, the more substantial the barrier, the bigger the breakthrough was on the other side. And so when we looked at this, we're like, gosh, the deck is stacked against everyone right now, it's stacked against us. And then we took some choices and made some decisions that actually stack the deck even more against us, right. That, that caused more potential for failure or for risk or for, for, and, and yet we have now started to experience a breakthrough on the other side of, of some of that by pushing through those barriers and allowing God to work through it, that like, we're just getting started in the blessings that we're starting to receive are so substantial.

(38:49): And those blessings, I'm not as talking about finances, like some of the blessings or just peace. Some of the lessons are reconnecting as a family. Some of the blessings are changing our environment and changing the way that we approach each other as a family. Some of those blessings, my wife and I reconnecting have just been incredible blessings. And the joy we've experienced from those has been, it's the peace that passes all understanding. And so when you're sitting in the midst of a crisis and everything's swirling around you, and you feel like you're surrounded by your enemies and all sides, it's so important to remember that while your enemies surround you, God surrounds your enemies. And, you know, right on the other side of that barrier, there is a breakthrough waiting for you. So that'd be my encouragement to any data ring listener on this podcast is just to say that, look, we're all going through this together. We all have barriers that are against us, but remember your God is bigger than any barrier. And the size of your problem is determined by the size of your God that you serve. And those barriers are there, but man, he's right behind those barriers waiting to give you a breakthrough and a blessing.

(39:46): Oh man. Oh, that's awesome. And so encouraging, you've had many pivotal moments as you talked about on this podcast, a phrase that I've shared with listeners is this, then they've enjoyed hearing just from guests. Is, has there been a time where you just felt, God said, you need a hand over your story for a greater story. And you've had those pivotal moments throughout, you know, your career, but is there something, as I say, that, that God is calling you to say hand over your story for a greater story, something that just kind of resonated like, yeah, this was a time where that happened.

Yeah. When I was two moments. So one was when, early on in daddy, Saturday reframe for me personally, that then I connected with other, other fathers around was we had had a daddy Saturday and my kids were tired. I was tired. It was the end of the day. We'd had, you know, an eight hour day together just going at it, having a blast and the remnants of our day together, restroom all over the yard. Like we had stuff everywhere. They're inside watching TV and I'm outside picking up all the toys and all of our fun from daddy Saturday. And I'm thinking to myself, why am I doing this? Every time I bend over, pick up a toy, like my back hurts. And I'm like, that's why I had four kids. So they could help me do this stuff. Right. I'm to labor in the house, let's go, that'd be right.

(40:59): I'm like, what are y'all doing? And you know, I'm too tired to go in and get them to come out. We had a fun day and part of it and I'm picking them up. And all of a sudden, God says to me, he says, Justin, you're viewing this all wrong. Every one of those toys, as a reminder of the time that you just had with your kids, the investment you've made in your kids. And the time that I've given you with the four precious children that, you know, have, you can view that as a blessing and you can view it as a burden. The choice is yours. The outlook, the mindset is so important and you have a choice in what you're, how you're going to view this. And so then every toy became a reminder of the time we had together, instead of a burden of me out there picking up my yard, right?

(41:37): Not saying you shouldn't have your kids help around the house and all those things. It's not the point here. The point is that it's how you view your role in your relationship with your kids. So that was one of those lightning bolt moments where God spoke directly to me. And I thought about that. And I'm like, how many other dads struggle with the same thing? So easy to be critical. It's so easy to see your kids as an inconvenience or a distraction, especially when you're working from home. But can you flip that mindset around and view it as a blessing instead of a burden and an assignment rather than an inconvenience. And it's something that I struggled with for a long time, I'm such a driver motivator. So God really spoke to me about that and, and felt that that was something I could take to other fathers.

(42:14): And then that was one individual thing. And from a larger perspective, God gave me a vision early on. And he said, you know, Justin, this isn't about you and your four kids in the backyard anymore. And he challenged me in the platform. He said, I'm going to take this thing around the world, but I'm going to do it one day at a time. So your responsibility is to connect with the father that's in front of you, connect with the person that's right in front of you. That needs you, that I need you to speak through you, to that person. And stop trying to be on a stage and make this about you. If the moment you make this about you, it's not going to go anywhere. The more you keep it about me and the person right in front of you, I will take this thing and spread it across the world because it's my platform.

(42:48): And you're just a steward of what I've given you. And so that's how I've tried to do daddy Saturday. That's what this is all about. And you know, it's not about me. It's about God working through me and using this platform. And he gave me a vision of a stadium, kinda like promise keepers back in the day of dads all gathered together. And they're all learning to be better. Dads learning how to help their kids be successful, learning how to connect to the other and connect their kids to the father. And that vision was so strong and powerful. That's kind of been my rallying cry for this platform. And it's the, it's the background image of the book. Daddy, Saturdays got that stadium filled with people. My four kids are like running in the middle of it. That's that vision that was God-inspired of one day having that happen. And people like you being on that stage, speaking to men, helping them become better men, husbands and fathers,

(43:36): No joke, but no. And just your boldness even share that big dream that many people would say that's, that's crazy. That's a wild idea. And so for you just to continue to be bold and just throw that out there is awesome, man. I, I love talking to you. I could do this longer, but I want to, you know, respect our listeners time. Heck we'll do a part two. When you have the, your next book come out. I love to just stay engaged and get you to talk. So thank you very much. Two fun questions to end with is what are you reading right now?

(44:08): Oh, great question. Bob Goss, new book, dream, big phenomenal book. And I just love Bob Goff, everything he's about. And again, right now, everything we just talked about right now is the time to be dreaming big. Now's not the time to be dreaming small and crawling into a hole. And so that book is shaken my world and I'm great book, highly recommend it. Awesome. Second, what are you most excited about in the next 30 days? Ooh, that's a good one. Spartan has, has reopened. So I'll get to do a Spartan race in either Utah or West Virginia in August. So I'm super pumped about that. I I got stung by a stingray literally the week before we moved from Charleston was my last trip to the beach, surfing with the kids. And then I had to get surgery in Nashville on my ankle. So I've been out for five weeks, longest period I've ever been down . This silly thing has tried to heal.

(45:02): And so it's been rocked my world. It's part of that. The barrier is that I've had to go through and I get to reengage in that, which has been a big release for my family. And, and for me, it's having an event or something to look forward to. So that's one thing that we're, we're extremely excited about in the next 30 days. That's awesome. Well, best of luck. How can my listeners reach out to you? Get engaged, learn more about what you're doing. Yeah. Thank you for that. I would say two things. One is daddy, saturday.com is the hub for all things, daddy, Saturday, you can also go to dad, boss B O S s.com and learn more about the dad boss course and the curriculum to help fathers. And then you can catch with me at Justin batt on LinkedIn as well. Awesome. Well, thank you so much. I'm excited to share this with the audience and great to connect. Thanks Cora to you as well. Appreciate you very much.

(45:53): I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

This is ThePodcastFactory.com.

Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles


Copyright Marketing 2.0 16877 E.Colonial Dr #203 Orlando, FL 32820