It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.6]
Bob: Welcome back folks. It is time to get rid of the speed bumps to your success. How many of you today right now at this moment are sitting there having something that you want to achieve in your mind and you've ever had the question come across your mind, but like, I don't understand how I'm going to do that, or I don't see how that's going to work. Have you ever had that happen before you make a decision before you take action, you take some time and you're like, I got to see how this works. I got to figure this out. I need to take some time to figure this out so that I can figure out what I need to do. How many of you have done that? If you're anything like me, that at least that used to happen a lot more, it still happens today, but it used to happen a ton more. And today I want to help you get over that speed bump in the fastest possible, most effective, possible way. Are you down with that? Cool. All right. Is if you're not, you probably turned off the podcast. Okay. Here's the deal understanding what is it I'm going to have, I'm going to start this. The title of this show is ‘There is No Why’. [01:30.7]
And we've been talking about this kind of peripherally for the last couple of weeks, but I want to like take it a little bit further, right? We've talked about this a few weeks ago, about humans being the only, only species on the planet that makes sense. That sense doesn't exist in the world. You can't, it's not lying on the ground. You don't go pick it from a tree. Oh, look, sense. You don't make it like you don't like build it with wood and tools. Hey mom, I made you some sense or embroider it on a pillow. Look Mom, I drew some sense or draw it, right? You don't paint sense. Sense is something that we make as human beings. That's why we say we made up our mind. It's totally made up. Like, it's not real, like you made it up. And in that sense, that's what we want to talk about today. Understanding being what needs to make sense. So I want you to take a step back and I want to give you a scenario, right? In order for your car to drive down the road, what needs to happen? [02:28.9]
Now most cars are automatic transmission, so we're going to eliminate the clutch pedal and everything else. What needs to happen? Well, okay, cool. You get in that has to happen first. Close the door buckle or no buckle, the car was still drive without the buckles. So that's not necessary to make it go, though it is one of the laws of the land so, you be aware of that, right? You got to stick the key in the ignition and turn it. But some cars have a push button ignition where all you have to do is have the key fob close by and you can just push the button. So in whatever the ignition has to go on, the foot is on the brake, you put the car in gear to drive. And then from there you grabbed the steering wheel and you push the pedal. Now you don't have to grab the steering wheel to push to pedal. Cause all I'm asking you is how do you get the car to go forward? Right. This is assuming you're on a flat ground. Obviously if you're on a hill pointed downhill, or even just put the car in neutral, you don't even have to turn it on and off you go. So this is just one scenario. Okay? [03:27.0]
Get in the car, turn it on, put the, put it in gear and push the gas pedal or just release the brake, I guess and you'll idle forward, that's all it'll happen. If you don't do those things, will the car go forward? No. If you do those things, will the car go forward? Yes, assuming the car turns off, right? If you do do those things and you're a miserable, horrible human being with lots on your mind, too many things to do at work, you yell at people, you scream at them, you have all kinds of issues. You know, you ordered an assassin from another country to, you know, execute a murder on someone who you've had an arch enemy relationship with for the last decade. Ahh…it doesn't matter if you get in the car and do those things will the car go? Yes. If you get in the car and you're like mother Teresa, I mean, you've dedicated your life to helping people, to helping people heal and helping them in their time of need. And to making sure that the poverty impoverished folks or the, I don't even know all about her life, right. But they've, you've dedicated your life to that and you love people and you're a religious figure of some kind and you've you pray lots and all that other stuff. [04:33.2]
If you get in the car and you don't do those things, will the car go? No. If you do those things, will the car go? Yes. Why? Because that's the way the car is designed. It does not matter what you feel about it. It doesn't matter what you think about it. It doesn't matter how much you like it or dislike it. If you do those things, the car will go true or false. True. If you said false, you're just, you hate being pegged into a corner like me and you're trying to find that hole in every argument, right? But if you do what is needed for the car to go, the car will go. Period end of statement. If you do not do what is needed, the car will not go. And that's how it is. It doesn't matter how you think feel or anything else about it, right. But the problem is we've assigned a lot of values to things like that. Maybe not car driving, but when you start talking about earning a lot of money in a business, we've assigned a lot of personal value to it. Oh no, the only the people who are, you know, righteous and don't have a love of money, will the universe protect and govern and help in the prosperity realm. And that those are the people that God will bless with prosperity and wealth. And he will protect them in hard times, right? [05:41.2]
Versus, Oh no. If somebody who's evil and they're doing poor things, even if they make a little bit of money now it's eventually going to go away from them. And this is a common view. it's not like I'm trying to make this into a vilified view. This is one that's pretty commonly done. I grew up in church. I was paying tithing. And a lot of the promises around tithing were, if you pay your tithing faithfully, you will always, you like, God will open up the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing was such that there was not even room enough to receive it such a huge blessing. He'll open up the windows of heaven, and this is in Malachi chapter three it also finds its it's reference in the book of Mormon. I grew up in the Mormon faith and like it's there and those promises are there. [06:23.3]
But if I look at my history of paying tithing, what can I tell you? And this is personal interpretation too. Cause I'll give you my wife's viewpoint as well so that you can see this. If I look at myself paying tithing, what happened? Well, I paid tithing my whole life. In fact, I paid tithing on everything that was my increase. So I got student loans and I got scholarships and I later was like, Oh my gosh, that was a blessing from God, so let me pay tithing on that, and I would go and back pay tithing on things like a student loan and on things like scholarships and whatnot. So I paid a lot of tithing beyond just what a paycheck was giving me. And I paid for offerings as well, donations as well. And I paid it the whole time. And here is what my financial status looked like. We never went hungry. We never went without food, at all. But the whole time I paid tithing, I sold a couple of paintings when I was doing painting as a, as a career, very early on. I had students come to my Kung Fu school, when I was running a Kung Fu school. I got jobs when I needed jobs. We never went without food, but in that time it was scraping by scraping, by scraping by and then we went bankrupt. [07:27.8]
And we went bankrupt and even while we were bankrupt, we never went without food. You know, things worked out and we had enough to go on and we had enough food there. And then after that, you know, I had some business coaches and some other things that I've been investing in and whatnot and things worked out. And then we started actually making enough money to put food on the table where I didn't need to rely on my parents or food stamps or other types of things to go on. I look at that and my life I go, I don't see any correlation between my paying of tithing and my finally figuring out how to run a business in such a way that I made money at it. I didn't see anything. What happened was money operates on certain principles in a given economy at a given time in the, in, in the history of the world. And it flows here and there it's flowing everywhere all the time. It's at the grocery store, people are passing money by like there's money everywhere all the time. And it's constantly moving from one place to the next. And if you learn how to be, to stand in the flow, so to speak, then more of it can come your way. Not so you can hoard it because you're going to pass it on and pay people for other things too, just like we do. [08:31.5]
Been a lot of money that's come through our life in the last several years. But at the same time, there's a lot of money that's gone out of our life. We've paid people for services and helped other people with jobs and employed people and whatnot. So it's not like the money just stays around, it's constantly flowing. And when you learn the principles by which it operates and how it's passed from one person to the next and you just do what's needed in order for it to come your way, then more money comes your way. So I look at that and I go, look, I paid tithing all this time and I went bankrupt and I was on food stamps. And then I also made a bunch of money and I don't see any correlation between the me paying tithing and that happening. What I do see is when I learned how to run a business better, which I'm still learning. But when I learned how to run a business better, then suddenly there was more money involved and more money came my way. So I did what was needed. It didn't matter how good a person I was or how bad a person I was more money came my way. My wife looks at it on the other end and says, look, we have been blessed. And I know a lot of people will look at it this way. And that's totally a one valid way of interpreting. [09:34.2]
It is yes, because we paid tithing. That's why we always had enough food to eat. And we never had to worry. Even though we did worry, we never had to worry. And those are two different viewpoints on the same thing. But what I look at is when I learned how to operate a business in a way that produced income, then the income could come when I didn't operate that way, it didn't matter how good a person I was, no income. And I would get so upset at the people on the other side, who were making a ton of money. And I was looking at them like, you know, we vilified Donald Trump and we vilify, you know, all of these millionaires out there, Mark Zuckerberg. And we vilify, who's the guy that owns Amazon, I can't remember his name, it escapes my mind. We vilify all these people cause they have all this money, you know. And you know, the Gates foundation, bill Gates, we vilify him. And I don't know anything about him personally. I've never met him. I haven't read up a ton on him. So opinions aside, the dude's figured out how to work with money. They figured out how to use what they had in order for people to pay them and monetize on it. And if you've watched the Netflix documentary, the social dilemma, that's, that's one good example of how they figured out how to have money come their way. [10:41.5]
And whether through ill, evil means like some people get on some of these conspiracy theories and point people out evil means or whether through good means the people who figured out how to make money, they make money. The people who haven't figured it out, they don't, the money doesn't come their way. And then we use these ad hominem attacks and try and attack their character to try and say, you don't deserve that money. But just like learning how to just doing what is needed for the car to go is what makes the car go. Doing what is needed in order for money to come your way is what makes money come your way. In the same vein, doing what is needed to accomplish any goal in your life, you want to get rid of depression while doing what's needed to get rid of depression, to make your mind and body no longer create that experience for you is simply doing what's needed. You're not a good person. You're not a bad person, you're simply a person who figured out how to get rid of depression. I am not a good person or a bad person, I'm just simply someone who figured out how to work with the mind and the body in a way that gets rid of depression, anxiety, addiction, OCD, like a bunch of mental health struggles, anger, stress, overwhelm, burnout, all kinds of stuff. I just figured it out. [11:47.8]
I'm not the one that created the body and the mind. I didn't design them. I'm not the genius behind creation, in that sense. I just figured out what was there. And I started working with it. It's not a mark of my intelligence that I saw what was in front of me. Oh well Oh, that's how it works. Okay, cool. Maybe it's a mark of intelligence that I've decided to use that and like actually use that to benefit my life, but that's it. And you're just as intelligent when you see something that works, you'll use it, that's just how it works. So it's not a mark of intelligence, it's not a mark of me being a good or a bad person. It's simply a mark of learning to do things the way that they're designed, that's it. [12:24.6]
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [12:52.5]
When you say, Oh, when I do this, this happens. Perfect. The problem that gets in the way then is understanding. The problem that gets in the way then is that we put all of these moral issues and these other things and these roadblocks, because we're so afraid of failure that we feel like I need to understand this thing and if I can't understand it, then there's a problem and I can't move forward. You ever felt that way. You're assessing a new program to help you like which coach is going to do it and is going to help me in my business. Okay, cool. So you call a bunch of them and the one that seems to make sense to you like, Oh, that makes such sense. Yeah, that's the answer for me. Then you go and do it right. Or you're looking for an addiction recovery program and you're looking at it and you're like, no, no, I've been taught the 12 steps, that's the way it's supposed to go. That's the only way it's supposed to happen, despite the fact that the 12 steps didn't exist before the 1940s, pretty much and now, it's certainly not worldwide. And before the 1900s, like what were people doing in order to recover? And yet some people in the planet were recovering, so clearly it's not the only way, but somehow I've been taught it's the only way. [13:54.1]
And so, because I don't understand how something can happen, where is God in the healing? Like we talked about a few weeks ago because I don't understand that, then I can't give myself permission to move forward in it. And we put this little barrier of understanding in the way. So the first thing you need to understand is the only thing that's needed to get you, what you want is to do what's needed for that. And it doesn't matter how you feel about it, think about it or anything else if you do what's needed, you'll get that result, eventually, right. It might take some time it might not take some time, whatever, but if you do what is needed, you'll get that result. Period end of statement. That is just the way it works. But the second thing is if you delay doing what's needed because you need to understand it first, all you're doing is delaying the result. So what is understanding then? Understanding has nothing to do with what's happening, right? Understanding is when you have a thought and another thought, connecting your brain and you have a firework of synopsis…buufffff….And you have this moment where you go, ahhh haaa and you have an aha moment. And you're like, Whoa, I get it now. You didn't get anything, nothing changed in your material life. [14:55.9]
All that happened was you had a brainwave. That's all that happened. Yes, maybe, it did help you see clearly. Maybe it did help you change the facet of the diamond you're looking at so you can see it from a fresh perspective and that gave you an, a different option, right? If you're looking at stage props, head on, they look like a big obstacle, but if you look at them from the side, Oh, okay, it's a piece of cardboard. Okay, cool. Not a big deal, right? So sometimes that's helpful, but understanding does not make things happen. Doing what's needed is what makes things happen. Doing what's needed is all that makes things happen, right. Understanding, it is just a nice experience. So when those synapses fire, you've connected some idea that wasn't connected to your little thought tree up to the tree…..puffff….And you're like, Whoa, that feels so good. Like I get it now. You didn't get anything, but we say that. And so there's a lot of people that come and they go, okay, tell me how you handle addiction. Tell me how you handle depression. Tell me how you help all these people. And I explained to them as clearly as I can, what root issues are, how to eliminate them, what you do about that, then. What's going on and they go, okay, cool. I think I got enough to go on. I think I get it. [16:06.2]
And they didn't get anything. They just connected some ideas in their head, that’s all that happened. But they use that as a means to give themselves permission, to move forward, you see. In in that case, maybe they use that as a means to go, to give themselves permission, to move forward on their own, maybe they want to do it on their own. Some of them, they go, okay, I get it. And then now they give themselves permission to do what's needed by joining a program that we have and, and signing up for coaching or for an event. And so that's the way that they move forward. But in the end, all of this like mental gymnastics that you and I do to describe why things are happening and how things are happening and everything else, it's all BS. And yes, I said that here on, on the air, all of the descriptions of how everything works is all BS, laws of nature. What are those? BS. Those are human beings, wordy descriptions of what they think is happening. It's all BS. Now, it might be very sophisticated BS and it might be useful BS. Right? We're bluffing that we know when we don't know, but at least it's getting us points in the poker game table. [17:07.8]
Not that I really know how poker works. Okay. But it's just BS. We're just bluffing that we know. That's it. Okay. So all of those scientific descriptions. Yeah. It's just a laws of nature is our way of bluffing that we know what's going on. For some reason, a bumblebee is still flying. It's not like he's running around breaking the law and there's some cosmic policemen coming around. He's not even worried about it. He's simply flying and we're saying the laws of nature, Oh man, it's not happening. He's not breaking the laws of nature. Laws of nature don't exist. What is happening? Nature exists. And it is doing its thing, laws those are just our assumptions about it. And the same way with, okay, how do you get rid of addiction? It's just a story that I'm telling in very practical terms. Some people tell the story in religious terms and they talk about God and Jesus and repentance and how you need to do that and if you don't do that, addiction, won't go away. Other people talk about it in psychiatric terms and they talk about addiction. They talk about treatment and they use certain drugs and medications and whatnot and imbalances and chemical imbalances and stuff. [18:07.4]
I sort of straight line run down the middle and I kind of throw both of them out under the bus from time to time. Because for me what's been most helpful is a more practical, kind of do this and this happens. When you do what's needed, you'll get the result. Period. And what I've found are certain things that when you do them, they change; they change your experience of life. They let you release tons of suffering. They radically alter your internal state and give you access to joy that maybe you can't even imagine is possible right now. We had a guy on the phone yesterday who was talking to one of the guys I work with and he said, I have been happier and felt better in these 20 minutes than I have felt in the last 20 years. Really, that's it. And so my, my, the guy that I'm working with Brad, he just did one of the things that we do with him on the phone. And he felt incredible. And there were tears of laughter and it's so much hope and all this other stuff, just from doing certain things. And that's all that's happened. When you do what's needed, you get the result, that's it. [19:05.3]
And so all of this description about how it works is just a way of getting you to do what's needed. So people often ask me, what is your methodology? What's the method you use? And I always tell them, I do whatever is needed to get the person, the results, that’s really my method. For some people, deep, heavy, intense, physical work has radically altered their life, for other people, a simple conversation for some people, deep breath work and processes that they can do on their own radically change their life for other people, a simple belief work and some writing processes, if we have people go through certain things. In the end, all of the description about why it's all BS everywhere on the planet. Even religion to a certain extent is a bunch of people trying to describe how the cosmos works without having seen it. They're bluffing that they know because it helps them make sense of things. And it's been very useful, but they don't actually know by direct perception. They haven't seen it. They believe it. And it's powerful for them. And I have nothing against it, nothing against it at all. [20:04.6]
But it is in a sense, that's just one way of talking about what's happening in the world. And the more we can get past all of this my way is right and your way is wrong. 12 steps are the only way. No, my way is the only way. No religion, it has to include the name of Jesus or not, or No, No, it doesn't. It's just practical. No science is the only way we can get past all that and recognize that basically we're speaking different languages. And if we could come to terms with saying, you're looking at that side of the diamond, I'm looking at this side and we're still both looking at a diamond. How about we enjoy that, instead of sitting here arguing. Or as the Zen phrase goes, ‘these are all just fingers pointing at the moon.’ And we're busy arguing about whose cuticle looks best and who has the best nail polish and we're missing the moon, right? So understanding all it is is a tool. It's a way of connecting synopsis to give you an idea, to let go of like, Ohhhh great. Now I can move to get you do what's needed. Cause the only thing that's going to get you, the results is when you do what is needed for those results, that's it. [21:03.3]
It doesn't matter if you're smart, dumb, anybody who pushes the gas pedal will cause the guard to go forward with its on and in gear. My two year old could do it. It might not turn out well, but it will make the same thing happen to the car. So it's not a question of qualifications. You don't need to be qualified to find freedom and to be fully alive, you don't need a certain set of certifications. You don't need anything like that. You simply need to do what's needed. Now people go to understanding for two reasons, one, they want to replicate what happened? Why did that happen? Let me do it again. Let me figure that out. Right? In my case, what I did was I just, people do the same thing I did. And when it didn't work, I would have them do something else. And all of my descriptions about why it worked were things I made up afterwards to try and make sense of it into my own mind because human beings like to make sense of things. I don't have to make sense of it in order for it to work for people. It'll still work for people. But when I do other people, more people will try it. And so I explained to them in ways that seemed to make sense to me, the best way that I know how what's going on, but nobody on the planet really knows why things are happening. [22:04.7]
We know for instance, with water, a lot of things to do with it, but we still don't know what it is. We don't know what it is. We really look at, we can describe all the things happening inside of it. But if you were to try to find what water is all you're going to do is describe the process that’s happening around it. It's like trying to define a human. What's a human? You're just going to talk about what it is, does not what it is. We don't understand. We pretend to understand because that gives us permission to move forward, but you don't need it. All you need to do is what's needed. And when you see that something works, keep at it. Another place people look for understanding is they go, why did you do that? And that's useful. It's a useful tool. I use this as question or I say, what were you thinking? Or what was, what were you after? Things like that. There's a couple of ways to ask that question, but why did you do this? And a common one in landmark forum is to ask you, okay, cool. Do you want chocolate or vanilla ice cream? And people will give one answer or another. You say why? And they'll give you all their justifications for it. It tastes better. But why does it taste better? Well, because of this, that and the other and the texture and whatnot. Okay, cool. [23:06.3]
Well, why does that make it taste better? Why do you, why do you want that? And in the end, what it boils down to is because I want to, there is no reason why we make up reasons after the fact to justify what we feel. We justify our behavior. You don't need to know why you do everything. You do need to know that you did it and you do need to know that. Well, in order to get a certain result, I've got to do certain things. And if you simply do, what's needed, you'll get the result. I know I'm like a broken record today, but I want you to get this, all of the roadblocks in your way, all the stumbling blocks, all the speed bumps that are keeping you back from the things you wanted, most of them are you thinking about morals and judging yourself for whether you deserve them or not, or you simply not understanding and holding yourself back from doing what's needed. Most of them are that. And sometimes you say, well, I don't know how to do it. Guess what? There is no how Nike had it, right. Just do it because you figure it out later. You don't know how, because there isn't, you don't, you don't really know. It's just, that's just an explanation. [24:06.1]
All you need to know is what's the first step. And sometimes that first step isn't in your brain. So how do you do it? You go find out what the first step is. That's how you do it. And if that doesn't work, you find a different one. If that does work, you double down on it and you do some more and so on and so forth. So as you're looking forward into your life and you've got goals ahead of you and things that you want, and they feel like, Oh my gosh, there's so much between here and there. And it feels like, it feels like it's so far away. I want you to recognize all of those feelings, BS, all of it, all of your explanations, about why it's hard BS, all of it. The only thing that's needed, whether you deserve it or not is simply to do what's needed. So you can have some of the most miserable despicable people in the world have some of the most money in the world. And you can have some of the most saintly people in the world have some of the most money in the world. And what qualified for them was simply that they did what was needed. And if you can simplify it, that that much for your life, you'd be surprised what you can accomplish and how easy and simple it is instead of all the extra energy you put into this mental game.If you want help with a mental game come to one of our retreats, man, that'll reboot your life in some serious ways, but just recognize it's not needed. The mental game, understanding all that stuff is not needed. You can do that in your spare time. If you're bored and you want to figure out why, but if you really want to resolve, just go get the results, figure out why later. [25:23.3]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [25:41.1]
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