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Pornography is bad. We’ve heard this time and again and we know it’s bad. Companies like Fight the New Drug spend a lot of time bringing awareness to this fact.

But is awareness enough? What if pornography isn’t the problem but instead it’s just the wrong solution to a bigger problem?

In today’s show we will discuss the root cause of pornography addiction and how being in control of our emotions can help us control addiction. Let’s take action!

Here Are The Show Highlights:

  • All talk and no action will not help anyone (3:21)
  • Is pornography the problem? (7:13)
  • The bigger problem and what to do about it (9:33)
  • The skill all humans must learn to find freedom (15:50)

If you or somebody you know is looking to drop the ‘F’ Bomb of freedom in your life and break free from addiction, depression, anxiety or anything that’s making you feel flat-out stuck, head over to www.liberateaman.com and book a call where we can look at your situation and give you the roadmap you’ve been missing.

Read Full Transcript

It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the "F Word" here - Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same, and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it.

Bob: The film begins with a crew, leaving in Haiti – I think it's in Haiti – they're leaving a truck. They've got guns, they're armed with guns, and they raiding this house, this brothel as they're taking down this lady who has done a lot of human trafficking over the years. This a documentary called Operation Toussaint by Nick Nanton, who directed it. It was funded by Russell Brunson and a bunch of other people who are trying to help Operation Underground Railroad to stop and combat a lot of the human trafficking that has been happening, and to take the people who have been doing this into custody and in some way remove them from the streets so that these young kids have a chance at life. [0:01:10.0]

Sadly, the hunger for this has come from the United States, a lot of it. We're the number one consumer of pornography, I think of child pornography, and I'm not sure about human trafficking, itself. I know there's a lot of it that happens inside the United States and a lot of Americans who go elsewhere to participate in it, and so today I want to give you a glimpse inside of the real cause of human trafficking and where it comes from because even in this documentary film, as good as it is, it doesn’t address it at all. There is a shot in the movie where Tim Ballard, who I love the man for what he's doing in the world… Oh, my goodness, it takes courage, it takes guts. I don’t have the skill set he has to be able to do something like that, and I'm glad that there are men like him in the world who are willing to step up and help these young kids and help these people in ways that I can't help them. [0:02:07.6]

So there's a scene where he's in the car, and the movie camera is kind of alongside of him, and it's looking across his face, and he's explaining how he's interviewed all of these people who are serial rapists and people who have been doing human trafficking, and people who have been caught in it where they've been imprisoned, and he's interviewed lots of them, and he says the story is always the same. As a kid, they ran into a Playboy magazine or some pornographic material, and they looked at it, and it got exciting to them, and then the Internet came around, and it was more accessible almost immediately, which is what happened with me, and they started getting excited by it, and pretty soon what they were seeing wasn't doing the job for them. It wasn't as exciting, so they kept looking for deeper and deeper stuff, more extreme stuff, and then pretty soon, the pictures and the videos and the images weren't enough, and so now they needed human bodies, and eventually it moved into human trafficking, maybe prostitution, and then eventually young kids and other things, and they would fly to different countries and whatnot, and so he says, look, the story starts the same way. [0:03:12.8]

It starts with pornography, and a lot of people want to do this, we want to vilify the pornography industry for creating what's going on with human trafficking. Now human trafficking has been around for a long time, and Glenn Beck, who is in the film, he makes this amazing point that hit me so hard between the eyes, that I want you guys to really grasp this. It's free on Prime Video right now, as far as I know; by the time this airs, I don't know if it will be still, but you can see it, Operation Toussaint, but he makes this point. He says I've heard a lot of people talk about anti-slavery, which is what human trafficking is, right? We're buying and selling humans for whatever use, whether farmhands or whether it's for sex, which is what is happening a lot these days. So he says a lot of people talk… 'cause he's political and he's heard a lot of people talk about slavery and how they would have been there, they would have been abolitionists, they would have fought for slavery and everything, and he's like, they're talking about it, they're talking about it, but they're not doing anything about it. [0:04:09.5]

It's so easy to talk about wanting to end slavery, wanting to end human trafficking, wanting to end the pornography industry, talk about how bad it is, how evil an institution it is, and let's be honest – talk and awareness is needed, so that's not a bad step – but Glenn Beck's point was they're just talking about it and nobody is actually doing anything, and he wanted to step up and do something about it. He helped fund some of their initial raids and some of things that they did. And that hit me between the eyes because I realized the same thing has been happening in a lot of different places, and we sit here and point to the cause of all this as pornography. Now, there is at least one organization working on human trafficking. There are a lot of other people that are looking to end human trafficking. There is at least one organization working on fighting the porn industry, either saving people from it like XXXchurch, who have some programs, and they've actually been ones who've gone into porn expos and handed out Bibles to porn stars and saying look, Jesus loves porn stars too, trying to increase more love, but then there's Fight the New Drug that's trying to increase awareness of what pornography actually does to human beings, to relationships, and also what it does to the actors inside the industry. [0:05:19.4]

The industry, itself, has been a place for a lot of human trafficking and a lot of stuff like that as well, so there are organizations like that, a lot of them. They're all over the place, people are cropping up. There are counselors that are up to try and help people who are struggling with these addictions to pornography and whatnot so that they don't go too far. There are social services that are in place to protect families if it does go too far. There are a lot of organizations in place, and we've looked at pornography as the problem. It's not. Porn is not the problem. Porn is the solution to the problem that is much deeper, and as long as we're focusing on pornography as the problem, we're missing what's really going on, and what's really going on isn't just leading to pornography addiction and all of these wrecked lives and human trafficking. [0:06:06.5]

What's going on is also leading to depression and suicides and anxieties and alcoholism and other types of addictions. What's going on is also leading to broken homes and really poor political battles and bad health decisions and all kinds of other stuff. What's going on is at the core and center of human wellbeing, and it needs to be addressed, and it needs to be addressed as young as we can get kids learning it because until they learn this, then we're going to continue having to put Band-Aids on and try to solve the problem by solving it's symptoms instead of really getting to the root cause. So what is this problem that you see, Bob? Why is this the case? Look, we've worked with, at the Freedom Specialist, hundreds of men. I've spoken with probably well over a thousand of them, some of them on the phone. Not everybody jumps on as a client. Not everybody is in a financial space to do that, which I totally get. Investing a bunch of money to have a team of people come in and really turn your life around in a couple of months… Not everybody is in a spot to do that. [0:07:07.1]

They've got other priorities, or they don't really want it that badly or whatever else it is. I've spoken with thousands of people, men and women, and we've helped people outside of just porn addiction, depression, anxiety, OCD… We've helped people with food addictions and some substance addictions, behavioral tics; even health issues to a certain extent. Business problems, where they're just self-sabotaging, and they can't figure out how to wrap their mind around all kinds of stuff. So, I've spoken with a wide array of people, and in every single case, porn is not the problem. Porn is the reason that they're still alive. I remember it was 5 o'clock in the morning – I may have shared this already, but I'm going to share it again – it was 5 o'clock in the morning. I was in San Diego, Laguna Beach, California at Dana Point, somewhere around there, and it was a Marriott hotel, I was there for a business conference with this sort of paramilitary kind of business guy who was really harping on a lot of things. [0:08:11.0]

I was up at 5 o'clock in the morning, the fog was coming in off the ocean. We were up on a little hill, and it was like covering the grass in a little bit of dew, but you could see these rabbits hopping around, white rabbits, black rabbits, and stuff. I had just finished a morning workout, and I was going through some of the mental work that I do frequently and that we teach our guys to do to help kind of re-frame what's going on in their life and to see what's really at the bottom of things, and I had this moment of realization where I realized, oh my gosh, I like porn. I really like porn, and I had a client the other day who was like, but I really like it, and for the first time in my life, when that happened to me, I was like, oh, crap, I'm dead, I'm doomed, like God hates me, I'm broken, there's something wrong with me. Obviously, there's like… I'll never be happy in my life, I'm messed up, I'm a pervert, there's something wrong with me. But what happened next, was the next question, which is why? Why do you like porn? And I realized it's because I lived my life in misery, bland, kind of boredom, numbness to what was going on in life, just coping with things that were happening in my head, and in the moments I was looking at pornography, my heart beat faster, there was adrenaline, I could feel the chemical rush in my system. [0:09:17.8]

I had like laser focus. I could feel little massive tension patterns in my face, and my hands would tingle and buzz. I would feel these like cold sensations, I would feel a sense of escape and power and freedom, freedom that I couldn't feel any other place. Now, it didn't last. It wasn't a long-term solution, and it created way bigger problems in my life, so I am not advocating this as a solution, and that doesn't even take into account the millions of lives who have been ruined and wrecked because the industry, itself, the people who have worked in the industry and now have to recover from it. So I am not advocating pornography as a solution, but I was using it as one because I hadn't figured out one simple thing, which is that how I feel in my life actually comes from somewhere. It comes from me. It's not because of my circumstances. It's not because somebody said something. It's not because I don't have money. It's not because I do have money. It's not because I'm overweight. It's not because I don't eat right. It's not because my wife doesn't want me one night. It's not because she does want me one night. It's not because my kids love me. It's not any of this stuff. My emotions come from me, and that means I have a choice in how I feel, and when you have the skill to make that choice, you really are free, indeed. This is not being taught in our country. [0:10:32.1]

If you, or someone you know, is looking to drop the F Bomb of Freedom in your life, whether that's from addiction or depression and anxiety or just anything that's making you feel flat out stuck, but you have no clue how to shake it and just want help doing it, head on over to LiberateaMan.com and book a call, where we can look at your unique situation and give you the roadmap you've been missing.

Bob: So we point to pornography as the problem that's leading to human trafficking, but the thing that's creating the hunger for pornography in the first place, the thing that's creating the problem, the problem that needs the porn solution is human misery. Yes, guys are wired to respond to female bodies, females are wired to respond to male bodies, but maybe not in the same way exactly. I don't know, I'm not a girl. There is some biology at play, but if you're craving it, if you need it in order to be whole and complete in your life, there's a problem, and you're solving that problem with the pornography, and that root problem is what we focus on, so we specialize on, we've got a really powerful method of helping people, coaching them through a process to help them drop these root problems that are causing some of their deepest misery. There are some other things that go into it, associations with what pornography is, and how it controls them, their future, beliefs about whether or not they can change, that stuff, but ultimately the source of the need for the solution is their biggest misery. [0:12:02.7]

The beliefs they have about themselves, their world view, the bus they got on when we talked about Keanu Reeves a couple episodes ago, their world view, and where they got it, how then internalize it, and that's what's causing the problem, that these kids are growing up, and they're believing things about themselves and their life and what's possible for them that is negative, and they are using video games and drugs and pornography and sex and vandalism and law-breaking activities, but then also other not so helpful things to cope with that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with video games. They've fun, but if you can't stop, there's a problem because it's owning your life, and you're not using it as a tool anymore, and so this problem starts when people are young. They develop a world view about themselves, and it makes them feel miserable. Well, what would make a person feel miserable? Have any of you ever been to junior high? Would any of you ever want to go back to junior high? It's an awkward time. Kids are growing up. They're gangly, they got arms going every which way, legs flaying akimbo, like all kinds of weird stuff going on in their system. [0:13:08.9]

They’ve got zits popping off their face. Their friends make really mean, nasty comments at times 'cause they think it's funny. They're trying to figure out pecking order and where they fit in the world… There's so much stuff that happens in junior high. It's a nightmare! I can't imagine who would want to go back through that! Oh, my goodness! And in the middle of it, a lot of kids pick up this idea that they're not good enough or they're not pretty or nobody likes them or they don't belong or they're worthless or they're a failure or they're a disappointment or if they don't do what other people expect of them, then bad things are going to happen, or that they always have to work hard and that life isn't meant to have a lot of fun, that they don't get to have fun with their friends, that that's a negative thing. They can only do that after all the work is done and the chores are done… I'm not saying these are bad lessons, but they're internalized, they're internalized in a way that's very, very detrimental, and the kids pick it up and believe it's a fact, and they've been picking it up since they were one, zero, two… you know? [0:14:06.1]

It's not like it only happens in junior high, but they get cemented along the way, and the kids believe that this is the way the world works. So if a kid is growing up in a family and sees a husband and wife who have no spark, no connection between them, it's not that something bad happened, it's just that the kid is now growing up believing that the ideal marriage is a marriage where dad is checked out after work, mom is doing her own thing, stressed about the kids, they come together and they work together and whatever, on occasion they kiss, but there's really no spark, no fire between them, and then that's what a real marriage is. So he grows up or she grows up believing that and either not liking it or liking it and either trying to create it or trying to create something totally different, but that's what they've been given. And can you name for me, the number of adults… Can you name more than on one hand the number of adults that you know of that are legitimately happy? Like as a personality? There are not that many of them, and even a lot of the ones that we know of, if you look at them, they have depressive bouts, and they have other things too, right? [0:15:06.4]

So kids grow up watching this, thinking this is what life is like. As a kid, it's all fun and games, but then when I get older, it's work and misery. It's no wonder kids want to hide in video games. It's no wonder kids want to go find things that are more exciting. It's no wonder kids don't want to work. It's because life that's being presented to them is miserable, and the only things they find excitement in are the things that make them come alive. All the rest of it just feels like a chore. I'm not saying that there's an easy solution to this. I mean, in my mind, there kind of is, but there is a lot of moving parts here in a society that's built on this. But these kids grow up without knowing that how they feel is in their choice, so they see their parents, who don't know how to change their emotions. Honestly, ask yourself, how many of you know if you're angry, exactly how to turn that around in 10 seconds or less? Look, I don't want to be angry anymore. Cool. Let me switch it. Okay, good, done. I'm super happy now, and it's not fake. [0:16:04.0]

It's not about fake it till you make it, it's not about stuffing anger. It's legitimately shifting, letting go of the anger so it's no longer there. Do you know how to do that? If you don't, that's a skill. These kids don't know that that's possible, so they grow up believing things about themselves that make them miserable, and they need something to fix it. Now a lot of kids that get involved in a lot of activities, that's super powerful for them because they're getting a lot of positive chemistry that's helping them really balance out their lives. It's really good. Physical activity is great, but the thing that no kids are being taught in school is (a) that their emotions are a choice, and they can choose it; and (b) they're not being taught how to make that choice. And so as I was watching this documentary, which was such a powerful documentary, but as I was watching it and seeing it, I was sitting there thinking about all of the places on the planet where nobody is really addressing this. That there needs to be a program in place in all the schools, all over the world, where we raise a generation of people that know that how they feel is 100% their choice, and that they also know how to make that choice for themselves so they never have to be bound by and a victim to any emotion every again, whether it's depression and anxiety or whether it's anything else. [0:17:21.7]

What kind of powerful society and community can we make, guys and girls, if we could have a generation grow like that? If adults could learn it, but we would stop to put Band-Aids on it? Imagine what kind of political conversations we could have, if we're no longer being governed by our emotional state, if political campaigns aren't being run to try and make people emotionally angry at the next candidate because they realize the population will no longer be controlled by the government… It's not just the government, but by campaigns, by emotion, but people can put their emotion aside and look clearly at the facts and make better political decisions. What kind of health decisions would people make if they're not emotionally eating? Or they're not making decisions based solely on their money, like, oh, no, we need this health practice in place because if not, then I lose a job. What kind of money decisions would people make if they weren't so frantic about needing money, if they weren't emotionally charged, and they could just look at the situation in their life. [0:18:21.2]

What kind of domestic abuse situations would vanish almost completely if husband and wife know, like dude, I'm angry right now, let me just go handle that, I'll be back, and then we can actually have a real conversation and then afterwards maybe we can snuggle – that's code folks! But what kind of amazing relationships could we have? What kind of father and son relationships could we have if kids knew that they could handle their emotions? How much more quickly could kids do their homework? What kind of educational reforms and political and legal progress could me make if we're not busy arguing in heated emotional states and really we're just looking at what was going to be best and moving forward with clear vision instead of being controlled by our emotions? [0:19:01.6]

And yes, how quickly would an entire industry that supports addiction vanish if everybody left the industry? It's not about fighting against it. We need people who are working with human trafficking 'cause it's around, and it will still probably be around for a long time. It's not about trying to make people feel bad about it. We do need people who are raising awareness about what pornography does and what alcohol does and what drugs do so that better education and better decisions can be made for sure, but if we really can help people figure out how to live happily, and if you could give your gift, that gift, to your children, how much better of a life could they have than anything you or I were able to achieve? Because nobody taught us how to stop feeling depressed, how to stop beating ourselves up, how to stop getting angry at everyone on the street, how to stop taking out our emotions on other people, how to stop letting our emotions control our performance. [0:20:05.2]

What would life be like if we could give that to our children? And I'll have you consider that the best gift you can give to your kids first is that you become a happy person, and when they feel that from you, there's hope for the future. You're going to learn how to control your emotions, learn how to have the choice and have the tools to make the choice, and then let's pass those on to the next generation. I'm working with my team on ways to do that. We really want to build a program that, if possible, we can get into schools. I don't know how long it will take, but if you're interested in supporting that, contact us. You can send me an email, Bob@thefreedomspecialist.com. Email me, contact us, if you want to donate, if you want to help fund things. There's like movies we need to put in place for awareness. We need to talk to legislators, if you've got connections… Any way, shape, or form that you can help us to shift what's going to happen on the planet so that addiction doesn’t even become a conversation that is a widespread conversation anymore, then let's talk! [0:21:05.3]

Because this needs to happen for humanity to survive in the next coming decades; otherwise, emotion is going to cause humans to make really poor choices. I mean, even when it comes to ecology, how much more carefully would a human treat the planet if they weren't emotionally consuming all kinds of stuff just to try and feel better, and they could actually see what the ramifications of their consumer decisions are. Everything in our lives is being affected by our emotional state, and all of the other animal species on the planet are being affected by it too, and if we really want to shift the world, it's going to be raising consciousness, and one way to do it is teaching children (a) emotions are a choice, and you can always make it if, (b) you know how. So let's make this happen, and it was a good one. We'll see you next time.

And that's it for today's Alive and Free podcast. If you enjoyed this show, and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcast from, and while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you, plus, it's just nice to be nice.

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