There's two types of people who hear consensual sales in the first go, Oh, Eww, Shawna, that is not what you want to say. There are better words to use and the second type here, consensual sales and say, you know what? You're right. I don't want to talk my way into the sale. I don't want to memorize a script. You just want to work with clients who are excited to work with you. Now that's consensual sales.
All right, we're recording. Hello moneymakers it is me, Shawna. I'm so glad that you made it and before I give you all the sweet ways that you can make money and book clients, I need to tell you that I created something really special for you and it's available at. She speaks sales.com and she speaks sales.com there's an interactive conversation guide for those of you who feel like you freak out or freeze up when you're turning a potential client into a paying one.
(00:51): Me and my very amazing special, talented graphic designer created an interactive guide for you to take all the thinking work out of what to say when with a push of a button. Literally you just say, this person is here and this happened and what do I do next? Push a button and I'll tell you. Okay, so it's really, really cool and it's available for you actually speak sales.com okay, my husband, let's talk about him. He bought this boxing reflex, ball reflex, boxing ball. I think that's how you say reflex boxing ball. My husband bought and you'd wrap this thing around your head and it's attached to like an elastic cord and you gotta punch it right. And it's super scary because the ball is flying right at your face and even though the ball is soft, do you have this instinct to just close your eyes the moment that the balls flying at you, but you gotta like punch it, right?
(01:45): And the faster and harder that you hit it, the faster the ball and harder it hits you goes. It's just, ah, it's like this crazy little head game and I'm sharing this with you because you have to train your body and your mind to fight that resistance, to fight that urge to close your eyes and close up, right? And this happens in your sales conversations. This happens when you are doing the selling work. When you're putting yourself up there, you're experiencing that same resistance. So I just want to talk to you about what is happening and then how to do the reverse. So when you are following up with a client, right? Like let's say that you have to follow up with somebody because they never signed the proposal, which by the way, do never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever send your emails, send your proposals in an email, okay?
(02:37): That this is a different type of for later. But it's so important. I need to just stop the show and tell you please, for the love of God, do not send your proposals over email. You instantly lose all leverage, okay? You cannot do that. The proposal is literally all that you have already. It's confirmation of what you have already agreed on. It's like, Oh, just send me a proposal and I'll look at it. No, you only send the proposal when you have already agreed to the terms. Okay, the proposal is what you have agreed upon already and then when you do send it, if you can't quite get to that point where you can't quite have that agreement, then you'd go through the proposal together. You walk through it together. Okay. Anyway, back on track. Let's say that you've got this client who just like disappeared at the face of the earth and you haven't been able to reach them and you're going to send them an email.
(03:29): What ends up happening is you send the email and you only feel good when you get a reply or you'll feel like shit if you don't get a reply. Okay? Now another example is you send maybe like a cold pitch, right? Maybe you found this brand or this company or these people that you like want to work with and collaborate with in some capacity. So you send them an email, you feel like shit. If they don't respond and you feel amazing if they do respond, okay, are you following me here? Do you hear what I'm saying? So what ends up happening is that you are doing a behavior and the emotional response is it tied to somebody else's behavior? And what ends up happening is that when, how you feel about something depends on what other people do or don't do, means that you never are in charge of your life.
(04:34): When everybody else dictate your emotional response, you are not in charge of your own life. That's a serious problem. So if you want further reading on this, you need to read the power of habit. But this guy I think is Charles D something. It's like Charles dig. It looks like the word dig in my mind's eye. So then what ends up happening is when you do the behavior and let's say you don't get a reply, or let's say you get a negative reply, what if you hear no, it creates bad feelings. Okay, so now imagine that you have to do the same thing tomorrow or a couple of days later. You got to send out another cold pitch. You got to send them another lukewarm follow up. What are you training your body to do? You're literally training your body resistance. It's never going to feel good.
(05:28): It's going to feel horrible and absolutely shitty. You're not going to want to do it, and I don't blame you because what you're doing is now you're saying, when I do this, when I do this cold pitch and I do this lukewarm follow up, this is what happens. I feel like shit, you're creating a trigger in the sales process that is absolutely negative, okay? If you want sales to feel good, how you feel cannot be attached to whether or not somebody says no. So what do you do instead? Okay, you got to send out a call back. You got to send up that lukewarm followup, you hit send. Now you celebrate. Now you gave yourself a Pat on the back. You do fist pump, you add a sticker to your sheet, you cross that thing off your list. You give it a little check Mark, you color it in.
(06:18): If you're into those grid planners, I don't know those grid things. You know what I'm talking about? What are those called? Bullets. Bullet planners. Okay. You tie your behavior to a positive reward that you give yourself. One that doesn't rely on other people. I know it sounds totally bizarre, but I know, you know what I'm talking about, how good it feels when you make a list and then you add something to that last, even though you've already done it just so you can cross it off. That should feels good. Right? And so what you need to do is you need to feel good. The action that you're trying to do more of has to feel good, okay? And for eight to feel good, you have to give yourself all reward that isn't attached to another person. Does that make sense? Every behavior that you're trying to create has to have a positive reward.
(07:13): And that reward in the case of selling cannot come from other people. It cannot be outcome dependent. I mean this is a topic for later, but I really think that the way that we think about goals is wrong. There's a really great article by James clear that's like goals versus system and basically talks about how when we romanticize the goal, but really what we need to do is we need to fall in love with the system that makes the goals possible, right? And this is kind of what we're doing here is we're trying to fall in love and create a system where if we do it enough consistently and we feel good and excited about it, the goal becomes inevitable. But how many of you actually have that system in place? Probably none. That's why you have resistance. And what I need you to do is go at it again and again and again and again.
(08:08): Like every day you should be putting an offer on the table in some capacity. Somebody should know about your offer today that didn't know about it yesterday. Someone should know you today that didn't know you yesterday. If you can do those two things, somebody who knows me and somebody who knows about my offer, like if you could do those two things, that's a system worth falling in love with, that will absolutely get you to your goals, but we don't. We've got that resistance, right? We're emotionally dependent on what other people do or don't do, and that means somebody else is in charge of your life. Okay. I'm sort of driving the point here home, but this is all I need you to think about is what can I do that would make the action that I'm trying to do more of, more fun and more enjoyable. Yeah. Does that make sense? Okay. I think I've driven this point home far enough. If you want to join us in consensual sales after the shell party, go ahead and find me on our Instagram feed, AKA Shauna may where we have live Q and A's. Ask me anything and discuss these episodes. Thank you for listening. You're amazing. Go do good work.
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