Welcome to the “Inner Circle Podcast”, the place where patriot entrepreneurs create, build, and play. Each episode will help you move forward to the place where we all want to be, a place of total creative freedom, personal freedom, and financial freedom.
My name is Mike Fallat and I am your host. I’ve started a bunch of businesses, helped to write a couple of hundred books, and interviewed lots of millionaires. I will be your guide as we enter the Inner Circle.
(00:15): This episode will help you understand your shadow. My question to you is how well do you know yourself? Think about that question for a little bit. You probably know a lot about the good stuff, you know, your strengths, what you like to do, where you are going, what brings you satisfaction? How about the, the bad stuff? How about the stuff that maybe you consider a weakness, maybe you consider it something that you are working on and you kind of hide it. It's almost like that closet in your back room. I I'm thinking of this because this is specifically in my life. I have one room where it's sort of like a, it's the most unorganized little closet of my apartment. Everything is super organized except for this one room where I just, yeah. You know what? I'm just putting clothes in and it's, I just kind of forget about it. I close the door. Nobody else sees it. I really have to worry about it being super organized. Maybe there's something like that in your life. What if it's a habit though? What if it's a thought? What if it's something that maybe scares you to death? If so other people found out, if you're like most people, you probably have a decent idea about your own desires, values, beliefs in a opinions, and you have a good idea of what being a good person is.
(02:11): Right? But what if you are unsure what a good person is? It's a great way of looking at you know, good men and what is a good man growing up? I used to think, and I was taught this. This is so teaching me this, that a good man is someone who's super nice. Right? He's super, just easy to push around. That's a good, that's a good man. Well, it wasn't until Jordan Peterson explained in one of his podcast or interviews or in his books that good man is a very dangerous man who has it under control. And he chooses to be good, cuz if you're just good and you can't grow teeth and you can't fight back, are you really making its decision? Is there anything that you're doing internally that that is making you, you know, choose good. I just think that's weak and maybe the shadow, the dark side of your life, what you were born with thousands, thousands, maybe millions of years of human existence potentially has been pushed. So deep down that you might not even know who you are anymore. What if much of what you have come to believe about yourself, your morality, and what drives you is not an accurate reflection of who you truly are.
(03:42): Have you ever said, or done something really shitty, mostly on an impulse that you later regretted after that damage was done and the other people saw that or they were hurt by it? You probably say, why the hell did I say that? You're probably looking at your life saying, man, what, what was that? If you, you, you came out of a bad moment and you just responded in a way that just holy shit, that wasn't me. What was that? I don't even know what that was. It was just, was it just a, an irritation? It's that? What happened to me? Why did I say that? It's the question that indicates the presence of a blind spot in your life. And I'm gonna be getting into this because of Carl Young, Carl Young is a was a psychiatrist, probably one of the most, I guess you could say one of the most important psychiatrists ever.
(04:41): I mean, he's up there with Freud and if you look at their history, they're they probably didn't get along too well. Carl Young is one of the guys that Jordan Peterson looks up to and he has a wildlife. If you go into some of his stories, he's back in the twenties and thirties and forties just CR he had a crazy life talking about UFOs in 1958. Like this dude just thought about, you know, what was going on in the world and asked a lot of questions and came up with a lot of good answers. And so going back to the shadow, Carl Young, Carl Young is the one that came up with this and I'm gonna read off a formal introduction. What the shadow really is. This is something that he wrote in 1951. The shadow is a moral problem that challenges the whole ego personality for no one can become conscious of the shadow without considerable moral effort to become conscious of it involves recognizing the dark aspects of the personality as present and real. This act is the essential conditioning for any kind of self knowledge. You go back to what is it? The, the hierarchy, self actualization, knowing yourself all the way through and through, and people talk about energies, whether there's a very bright energy, if there's a very bright energy inside of you, there has to be a dark energy, right? There has to be wherever there's light, there has to be dark.
(06:10): And so this dark energy, if you don't understand it, it will control you. But if you can control it, or if you understand it, then you can control it. Remember that phrase, if you can understand it, you can control it. So there are people out there who are maybe born into wealth, or maybe he had just an easy life. They were never put in a situation where they had to scratch, crawl, figure everything to eat, to pay the bills. This dark energy is what will bubble to the surface in the fight or flight moments of your life. And until you have to get into that arena or that situation, you'll never understand it, which means that it'll pop up at, at times in your life and it'll control you and you have no control over it because you don't even understand what it is. And I experienced this in 2015, 2016, when I went out on my own, completely on with my business completely on my own.
(07:10): And my credit cards were already like maxed out. Basically wasn't able to borrow another dime. I mean, it was, you know, scary time of my life. I went out and, and I got very vocal online and I started to lose friends and I started to just push the limits internally, financially, physically my body was, was changing because I wasn't eating properly. I was eating like heart boiled eggs nonstop throughout the day, cuz it was the cheap this way to live. And so like when water pipes broke in my place I didn't have the money to fix it. So I was out of water in my house. You can just imagine what for over a year, not being able to shower or run any faucets or anything flush toilets, just imagine what you had to do. And that's what I did. But here I was just totally solo.
(08:02): This is whenever the darkest thoughts came to my mind. All right. And, and these dark thoughts were, man, how can I get revenge on people who put me in this situation? And all the people who screwed me over and all the people who were trying to stop me from making it, all of these dark thoughts just came into my mind. That's when I realized what happens to the human mind when it's pushed to the very end and then I started to wrangle with it and fight with it and then put it in its submission almost where I was able to control my mind. That's when I, I was able to understand that. And, and by the way, I didn't read about Carl Young. I didn't read about Jordan Peterson at this time. This was just me figuring out myself. I was able to figure out that I was able to run through hell.
(08:53): I was able to push myself through absolute insanity that I know. And I know this for a fact, very few of people, very few people would've put themselves through that. They would've they would've checked out, went right back to a job or did something to make it a little easier because you're kind of putting yourself into a world that is, is so painful that you could eject at any moment. And that means the dream dies, but you live on and that was not good enough for me. So during this wrangling of, okay, this dark energy, all this mental thoughts, all this, I'm going to use this. There is something here, this energy, I'm gonna figure how to use it for good. I'm gonna use all these negative thoughts and rather seek revenge on them. I'm going to get so fucking wealthy. I'm gonna get so free.
(09:50): I'm gonna put myself in a, in a world that I will never have to worry about this ever again. I'm going to break the generational curse. I'm going to use it all for, for the vision. And so if it's the dark force of trying to make you do something very evil, think about it as this. There's some type of fuel here. There's some type of energy. I need to control this because this means that once I'm able to come, it, I'm not able to get off my path. If some hater comes my way and says anything on my wall, if they save anything bad on Amazon reviews, I won't lose it. Cuz you can control it. Or if someone says your speech sucked or you're a terrible person in, in person, all of this, you can basically manage years before it even happens. And so all this negative, dark energy that came my way, wow.
(10:45): I was able to handle it. And that's when I figured out who I was. So I was this one person who I thought was this likable guy and easy to get along with. But what happened, what I really realize is that society suppressed all of the bullshit, all the dark energy. And I tried to forget about it. My dad was a and he still is you know, his ability to have short tempers. I used to think that, man, I can't be like that. I know I have it inside of me, but I got just eliminated it completely. Well, what if you use it in a way that, okay, well I know that's there. Well, why don't I use that for a small burst of energy every once in a while to get things done, to get this podcast done, to close a deal, to get a job done, to make sure my team knows where we're at to get a, a client.
(11:36): So they're happy I will get it done. If it's two in the morning, this short burst of energy, you gotta get it done so you can use it for good. And if it's in you, you cannot repress it and you have to use it. It's part of who you are in the moment. You see everything, then you start to understand your life and therefore you can control your life. And so all of this stuff that man, you agreeableness, there are many people who are super agreeable. I guarantee if you're a super agreeable person, you're not gonna make a lot of money. I guarantee you're gonna be pushed around in life. I guarantee you're not gonna go after that dream. I, I guarantee friends and family will all kind of put you in this, this circle, this bottle. And just say, that's the type type of person you are.
(12:23): Anything outside of that. That's not who you are. And you're gonna say, well, I guess, because they said so I don't wanna piss them off. I'm an agreeable person. Jordan Peterson does bring up that I, agreeable people will always make less money always. And if you look at the archetypes out there, people who are very agreeable, they don't go into sales. They don't put themselves in line. They don't start businesses. You have to have a sense of disagreeableness, but you, you have to analyze all of that about yourself, that, okay, maybe you did repress all of it because society or your told you to do that. Oh, well you can't be an angry person. Don't put that aside. Oh, you can't be disagreeable. Put that aside. But repress that eliminate that from your life. What about all the other stuff that, you know, maybe who you once were you repressed?
(13:11): Oh man, I'm a dreamer. I'm a go getter. And then society maybe pulled that out out of you or repressed it. And so you almost like lose your identity. And so I'm gonna go back to for one reason or another, we'll all have parts of our lives that we don't like or that we think society won't like. So we push those parts down into our unconscious psyches. It is this collection of repressed aspects of our identity that Carl Young referred to as our shadow self. If you're one of those people who generally loves who they are, you might be wondering whether this is true of you. I don't reject myself. You might be thinking, I love everything about me. However, the problem is that you're not necessarily aware of those parts of your personality that you do reject. And it's important to analyze those pieces. What are some things that you did reject in your past?
(14:00): According to Carl Young's theory, we distanced ourself psychologically from those behaviors, emotions, and thoughts that we find dangerous. You know, it's always those things that like, oh, what will put me in a dangerous situation? Well, I can't speak up at this meeting or I'll lose my job. Oh, I can't say this. Or I'll lose my friends. Oh, I can't do this because then I may lose that significant other, you oppress everything. You oppress everything. And all of a sudden your identity, this true identity that was God given to you is now not the same. It's morphed. It's transformed. Now I will tell you that there are some people out there who are just plain evil. So you say, you know what? There is this dark end energy or to these people who are using it, this energy they're using it for bad. I'm talking about, there is a difference between using this dark energy for good and bad.
(14:47): You are who you are, but you do make a decision. Whether you choose the light or the dark to use it for dark energy comes your way. There are things you can do with it. That is just so evil, so wrong. It's so bad. You can't do that. This is where morality comes into play. And most people in the inner circle are very much believers of God. I'm not here to preach religion or anything. But what I will tell you from me personally, the ability to believe and, and, and know that we're not alone gives me this sense of I need to do what's right. It's a right and wrong issue. And I think there's a lot of people out there that have it without, you know, believe even. But what I believe my belief in God has given me this morality, which when energy comes my way, whether it's good energy or bad energy, it's still energy has to be used for the output of good, whether that's wealth creation, business creation, being a, you know, doing something that helps the, the community, the environment, the world, whatever, rather than confront something that we don't like.
(15:56): Our minds pretend that it does not exist. Aggressive impulses, taboo, mental images, shameful experiences, some moral urges, fears, irrational wishes, unacceptable sexual desires. These are all few examples of shadow aspects. Things people contain, but do not admit to themselves that they do contain. Now, here are a few examples through Carl Young's book here, If you like what you hear and you are a Patriot entrepreneur go to Mike's inner circle.com. Remember you are only as strong as your circle. We'll see you there. Couple examples of the common shadow behaviors, tendency to harshly judge others. Especially if that judgment comes on an impulse. How many people out there that you know that, oh, it's, it's always that person's fault or, oh, they're doing it because they're scammers. These people have not understood themselves. They don't understand the shadow aspect of themselves. It's in them. It, it automatically comes to the surface. They don't know how to wrangle it. They don't know how to control it. They can't comprehend it. So they lash out and, and they blame others. They criticize others. Okay. They point out one's own insecurities as flaws in another. Okay. So you see someone and, and you know, and you maybe don't know this because you don't want to admit it. But like people who hate Trump, this is right. This is directly in line. They point out one's own insecurities as flaws.
(17:25): Another. The internet is notorious for hosting. This. Think about a, oh, that person's stupid, or that person's a moron. That person's a brainwashed. That person's a scumbag. You point out the own insecurities. Now I will say, I say a lot of this stuff to be on. I'm reading this. There are people who are brainwashed. The people who are just turned on the media and they don't think for themselves. So I know these people are brainwashed. So I'm not gonna say that anytime you point out insecurities, but it's really about it's the insecurities and that, you know, that's in yourself. So it's the hypocrisy of this is what they're saying is that when you point out something that someone else is doing, that you think they're doing, but it's really you. This is it. So I've seen a lot of people, comment, Joe, anybody who's a Trump supporter is brainwashed.
(18:12): And that's insane to me because Trump is saying, don't watch the news, do your own research, all this other stuff. And the people who are saying this stuff are the ones who just watching the news, right? So like it's pointing out the hypocrisy like, oh, number three, here, a quick temper. All right. Quick temper with people in subordinate, positions of power. And so, so this quick temper thing that I was telling you about, it's in me, there's no doubt about it, but I'm able to wrangle it cuz I understood what it takes to do. So it, and it only took me two, three years of pure, absolute insanity and pain to figure out my identity. 2018. I, I think it started to formulate 2019, started getting a little stronger. 2020. My identity was formed, which means whenever all the insanity hit, I knew how I was gonna act.
(19:03): I was ready for it. There was chaos. There was blood in the streets. I was ready for this. I knew I was gonna respond. Or I, I now understand what it takes when you see all this stuff too. All right, calm down. Figure out. If you make this too emotional, you are gonna make bad decisions. And your instinct would be to lash out and to say this and to do this, but that's wrong. You've now managed the darker energy, the darker side of you and you propel to it. You shifted it. You aimed it towards something good. And now you got fulfillment. You have this extra energy, both the light and the dark on your side, going in the right direction. Rocket fuel. There are people out there who are playing the victim card. These are people who have not understood anything about their past, anything about their life.
(19:49): Maybe they put themselves in that situation, but this dark energy, these people will use this victim card forever rather than admit it. Wrongdoing people go to amazing lengths to paint themselves as the poor, the innocent bystander who never has to take responsibility. This is that bubbling to the surface of this dark energy. Not knowing what it is not being able to recognize it. Can't control it. Oh, it's someone else doing it to me. I'm the victim. Here's number five. A willingness to step on others to achieve one's own ends. These are people who cannot control their dark energy because they're willing to do whatever it takes evil in an evil manner to hurt others to. So as long as they live on, well, guess what? I've had tenants that did this they'll lie to me. They try to cheat for me. They don't give a shit about me.
(20:34): They don't give a shit about my, the other people in the building. They don't give a shit about anybody else except themselves. When they do this, this dark energy inside of 'em will only make their life more about living in hell down the road. They're always have to look over their shoulder. They're gonna realize they screwed a lot of people over. They're always gonna have to be like, get shifty with the credit statements and, and phone calls. If they're gonna have any type of referral, background checks, all this insanity, the dark energy, put them there. And now it's kind of closing in on 'em. The walls are closing in energy will do that unless you master it. And there's a few other things where there's an a Messiah complex. Some people think they're so enlightened that they can do no wrong. They can screw everything they do as an effort to save others, to help them see the light so to speak.
(21:20): This is actually an example of spiritual bypassing. Yet another manifestation of the shadow self, the Messiah complex don't understand what that takes there. But what I think it is is those is like false profits. And these people who are on TV, raising money, I think these are the people who are evil as hell. What's his name? Copeland Ken Copeland, or his name is this dude is so evil. So awful. You could just tell as a person he's just full of dark energy saying that he's doing it for the Lord and for Jesus and for Christ. And, and it's just obvious that he's full of just scary energy. Please just can Copeland. Google him, pull up his face. Look at that. That's to me is just a man who didn't confront the dark energy and master it. The dark energy is taken over using him to, you know, reign in money.
(22:17): And if you see his life, it's just, it's pure evil. He, he asked for money and then goes out and buys private jets. He says, he's giving it to the church, just awful stuff. But that's the Messiah a complex at work from what I believe from what I'm reading here. But anyways, all of this stuff, this shadow self I'm gonna pull up a few other pieces of this shadow self. So seeing in others, what we don't admit also lies within is what Carl Young calls projection, okay, first we reject. Then, then we project. That's a great statement right there. What are you rejecting? And then projecting 2005. I hated Trump. I was a guy who was, you know, struggling financially. I was struggling with women. I was not doing well in school. I was just miserable as a person. I remember saying, oh, Trump, is this there?
(23:09): Because he, I was so jealous of him. I was one of those guys. So I now know this. When I meet with people, I'm like, oh, you're living in life. Like I was in 2005. You means you're weak. You're insecure or you're jealous. I get it. Cuz I was there in 2005. So first we reject. Then we project. So I would look at Trump and his family. Remember them being on TV for what is it? The apprentice I'd watch that. I'm like, oh, look at them just because they're born in the money. And it was just projecting. And this is me not understanding this dark energy inside of me. It's just taken over my life. And now I'm just pissed off all the time. And it wasn't just with the apprentice in Trump, it was with everybody, anybody who had more than me, I was always projecting, oh, they're just to, because of this and this person's because of this.
(23:53): That is such a weak stance in life. And it'll only screw you up and that if you don't master it, if you don't control it, it's gonna take over your life. And Des joy, everything in front of you, everything, if you hate a person, here's another psychologist. If you hate a person, you hate something in him. That is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. Oh man. Think about how crazy that is. So the shadow self, and I don't know where you're at in your life, but there is something inside of you that you may be repressed or you pushed away. And it bubbles to the surface every once in a while. And every once in a while takes over. My recommendation is become friends with it. The only time that you will ever find out who you truly are is by leaving the world of total comfort, to leave that corporate job, to put yourself in a situation of getting on a podcast, to getting up on stage, to putting yourself on the line, that's gonna scare that hell out of you.
(25:08): And that scary feeling is going to boil up to the top. And it, that fear is going to just come to the surface. And that's when you are the protagonist, you're the one with the sword fighting the dragon. What you do in that moment is who you really are. Are you a runner or are you a fighter? Are you the person that goes after the dragon and defeats it? And now because of your ability to take the sword out of your sheath and go after it, it defines you as a person that goes after what scares you. Having a sword? Sheath is one thing. Having a swords, sheath, and never being willing to use. It does not make you a good fighter. Doesn't make you strong. It doesn't make you moral. There's a great quote out there as morality, as cowardice. I don't know if I believe that exact statement, but even the person who said that, I, I forget who it is.
(26:07): It might be someone associated with Carl Young, but morality is cowardice and a reason why is because people think that by doing some things in life, they are being moral. But what if they're just being coward? What if they're afraid to say certain things that they truly believe and they rub it off as, oh, it's be you guys I'm moral. No. What if you're just afraid? What if you're more afraid than anything else to say? What you really feel? Does that make you moral? No, no, no, no. That makes you a coward. So morality is knowing what's good and what's right and doing it. And so by having your sword sheath and not being able to use it, doesn't make you a great warrior. It makes you someone who is not willing to figure out who you really are, has not willing to use the shadow within.
(27:07): And so when it comes time to the real fight, because guess what? That dragon, that Dragon's in that layer somewhere out there in your life. And that dragon is only getting bigger and getting bigger and getting bigger in that cave. And that dragon is, is guarding some gold, right? It's it's guarding. And maybe it's the princess. Maybe it's the barrier between you and what you want. And as you live in your little apartment or house or white picket fence location, maybe you feel like, well, I don't need to go out there because that's not coming my way. What scares me is not coming my way. But what if it does, sometimes you you let go of the fighter. It's like almost in the, the movie, John wick, you let go of who you once were and you get a little soft and you think about maybe even getting back into the routine of, of fighting.
(28:01): It's your muscles ache a little bit, your hands need to become more callous and all these things that you, you let go of who you were in the past, all of that will start to come to the surface again. And sometimes you're gonna have to use it. Your shadow self is a part of you, whether you like it or not, it's part of you. And yes, you could lie to yourself. All you want that it once was who you were and you let it go and all that. But that's the not mastery. Mastery is being able to use everything. You were born with everything that was given to you. So if you can control it, then man, that makes you powerful. You will now know. Whenever that dragon is is, is, is getting older, getting bigger, getting more unpleasant to deal with the, the shadow inside of you will say, Hey man, you have to go out and get that dragon.
(28:52): It's coming your way. It might be coming your way when you're 50 years old, but the longer you wait that Dragon's going to just keep kidding stronger, which makes it a little scarier to deal with later than it is to deal with it now. So get your damn sword out, go kill the dragon, get the gold, save the princess. Now your shadow self is in. You use it, master it, understand it, control it because then whenever it comes to the, the big deals, the big money, the big vision you'll now know that you have both and energies on your side, you'll know yourself all the way. And if there's something about your life that scares you, you go running straight at it and you figure it out and you manage it. You, you put it together and you say, I know what this deep dark hole of my life looks like.
(29:50): Now I can control it. It's that closet it's organized. I know it's inside of it now. And when I need it, it's there and I'm gonna use it when I need it. But the fact of pushing it to the side, not looking at it, not knowing what's inside of it. That's not doing me any good. I need to go to the place that scares me. I need to go to the location that scares me most. And once I'm able to do that, once I'm able to do it second time, a little bit easier. And when I really, really need it, since I understand it, I can, it, your shadow self is who you really are when push comes to shove. So rather than repress all of it, rather than let it all go, use it to your advantage. Get so fucking wealthy, do so much great in this world. Use it to propel your career, your family, your, this, your team, your vision forward. So you can win this game just because you have let it go. Doesn't mean that it's not inside of you. Your shadow self is out there. Find your shadow And control it.
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