Welcome to the “Making of a DM.” How being bullied has made me millions of dollars. You heard me right. So, with that said, let's get started.
Mark: Hey there. It’s your boy, Mark Evans DM. Hey, thank you very much for being here today. I'm doing something different here, something I’ve never, ever, ever done on my podcast. What is that? The show you're listening to right now is actually the third version of it. [01:00.0]
The reason is I want to make sure that I hammer home the point properly, so you understand where it's coming from. I typically do one, and done, that's it. I just say it. It's going to be good. It's going to be whatever. I just get it and move on. But this topic is a very important topic to me and I have two little kids—Mark is about to be six in august. Dria is about to be two in April—and I’m very conscious of the subject matter for many reasons and I’m talking children.
I’ve mentored many thousands of people over the years at all levels from beginners to people making $50,000, $60,000, $100,000+, $1,000,000 a year in their businesses. There are some common traits here and I hope that this show today can open your eyes to a lot of things, and/or maybe they're open. Maybe there will be a lot of yes, you're shaking your head yes, as I’m talking about what we're about to embark upon today. [01:59.7]
As I’m talking to you today, to give you a quick viewpoint of where I’m at here in Parkland, Fla. It's beautiful out. I just got back the day before. We were out on the yacht for the whole day with some friends, talking about life, business, success, goals, in Miami, and it was just really cool.
The guys I was hanging out with actually generated over $3 million. We, them and I, generated over $3 million together in four months, which is good, and I’ve never met them in person. That was actually the first time I met them in person on a yacht. Go figure, right? It's pretty cool. At least I think it is. There are a lot worse places to meet and hang out. Our wives were with us. We were just talking and just kind of mingling and all that good stuff, and where we're at, where we're going.
Before I start the show, too, if you're brand new listening to the Making of a DM, thank you very much for being here. I will be talking very directly. Oftentimes when I’m talking like that, I’m going to be saying cuss words, so if you have children around or you don't like cussing, I’m definitely probably not the guy for you. If you like cussing, you probably would not want to follow me. [03:01.2]
I'm not trying to be a dick. I'm not trying to say the F-word a hundred times. It's just sometimes I just get into a thought process and I’m just saying what I truly believe, and I’m not trying to edit myself to make you feel better about how I say it or whatever. Just genuinely, this is like if you're sitting in my office or we're hanging out on the yacht or wherever we're hanging out, this would be me, the way I would talk directly to people that I’m helping, and that's why I’m here. I want to help you. I do this. Thank you for being here.
If you have been listening to show, simply get over to iTunes, leave that five-star review. Give me a shout out. Tag me on social media and we'll hook you up with something if I see the tag.
Let's do this. I want to start this off today and tell my dad thank you very much for being an amazing human being in my life. My dad doesn't listen to my show, but I just want you guys, again, I’m setting the stage for what I’m about to talk about to help take a lot of anxiety out of people's lives, help you make a lot more money. That's my ultimate goal. [04:02.5]
But my dad was…he is, he’s still around. He's only 62 this year, but he has taught me so much about this subject matter and I’m kind of embarrassed to say the least. I look out. As I’m talking to you, I look out my window and there are a lot of beautiful houses, millions of dollars of houses everywhere, cool car collections, whatever, and I think about how many parents are such pussies these days.
Yup, I said it, pussies. It's embarrassing. Their kids are coddled beyond belief. They get a fucking hangnail. They start crying to Mommy and Daddy, and Mommy and Daddy go buy some ice cream and rub their back and lets them watch cartoons or some kind of bullshit Disney show with some kind of sick-ass weird stuff going on. That's a whole other story, but it's disgusting to me. It actually pisses me off so much, I don't even go out in public a whole lot because it drives me nuts and I only like to work in environments I can control, and so I’m not. It is what it is. [05:04.4]
But as I’m sitting here thinking about this, I hear this word “bully” thrown around everywhere or fat-shaming or ugly-shaming, whatever, skinny-shaming, whatever. Everyone's got a problem today and the real problem is if you're fat-shaming, I’m guessing the person they're fat-shaming is probably fucking fat, let's be honest. If not, why are they fat-shaming?
See, the thing is it's until you address the real problem, mom and dad coddling the child, first of all, the child shouldn't even be fat unless their parents are feeding them bad food all day long. Right? Well, they have a bad thyroid. Bullshit. I used the same excuse when I was in my thirties, started gaining a lot of weight. Man, I think my thyroid is bad. It runs in my mom's side of the family, blah, blah, blah. No, you know what it was, Evans? You're a fat fuck and you know it. Stop lying to yourself and stop making excuses to the world. [05:53.7]
I could have said I’ve been bullied, because on social media, people would see me and be like, Jesus, you're fat, man. You're fat, blah, blah, blah. I get stuff like that all the time still today. People say you're ugly. You're stupid. You're a scam. You're this. You’re that. Dude, delete. There are so many people that I say so many mean things. It reminds me of my mother who is an amazing person as well, she'd always say, “Mark, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.”
I believe, actually I know for a fact, I’ve been bullied, for real bullied. I never went home and cried to my dad. Actually, if I did, my dad would have smacked me across the fucking head and said, Go, kick that guy's ass, period. For real, that's what he would do. Kind of did that actually.
I’ll share some of these stories with you and kind of why I’ve been successful in life. It's allowed me to accept responsibilities for my actions. It's allowed me to set responsibilities for being a knucklehead and all these stupid things I’ve done in my life, and as well as all the great things I’ve done in my life and I’m just getting started.
I remember this one time in school, this kid, Ryan, and I promise you, this has something to do or this has a lot to do with business and where I’m at today and where I’m going, and I’ve seen this as a common trait in most guys I’ve worked with over the years. [07:08.2]
This kid, Ryan. I grew up in a small town of 650 people, keep in mind, and everyone knows everyone. But this kid, Ryan, was always a dirt bag, always hung out with all the dirt bags and just kept fucking with me. My aunt was my babysitter, so we'd walk about five blocks from the school, me and my two younger sisters, and his kid would non-stop mess with me. For weeks on end, this went on, and he lived next door, so I had to deal with it. I didn't have to. I did deal with it all the way through for about four weeks, let's say.
I would go in my room and I’d get mad. I'm like, Why is he treating me like this? He's saying mean stuff. He's knocking the books out of my hand. He's pulling my tote bag off. He's calling me a wimp or pussy, or whatever he was calling me back then and whatever. It got me in my room. It got me to think, strategize. How can I defend myself? How can I stand up for myself? How can I get my confidence back? [08:03.5]
I didn’t go and cry to Mommy and Daddy, my aunt and uncle or his mom, tattletale or whatever the shit is called. I stood up for myself and I had to uncover. By the way, I’m talking, I’m about 11 years old, 10 years old.
The truth is I couldn't tell my dad because I was embarrassed to tell my dad, because my dad would say kick his ass. That's the beautiful thing about my dad. He's always roughhoused with me, so getting a bloody nose, cracking my leg or head or arm or whatever, I never really cried because I was too embarrassed to, because I didn't want my dad to think I was a pussy, straight up.
Anyway, I didn't even tell him my dad, because like I said, I didn't want to be embarrassed. One day as we were walking home from school, this Ryan kid was on me and he said something mean to my sisters, and as he did that, I snapped. I stopped and I was like, Yo, man, one more time and I'm going to beat your ass. I probably didn't use those words because I didn't really cuss back then. I’m going to fight you or whatever I probably said. [09:07.0]
Sure enough, he said it again. Lesson No. 1: if you say it, you’d better fucking mean it. I said it. If you say it again, I’m going to fight you. I meant it. More importantly, I followed through with what I meant. These are lessons in life and in business, by the way.
Too many of you fuckers out there are telling your kids, Don't do that, Johnny, and if you do that, you're not getting blah, blah, blah. Sure enough, they go do it and guess what? Three minutes later, they get exactly what you told them they're not getting.
I do this with my son, Mark. If you do this again, you know it's wrong. You're going to get a spanking or you get this taken away. Sure enough, he does it. Guess what we’ve got to do? I don't want to spank my child. I don't want to take his shit away, but he knows right from wrong. That's my job to teach him that shit. More importantly, it’s my job to correct him, to make him a better fucking human being for the future generations. [09:57.0]
But as that kid did that, Ryan, I’ll never forget, if you ever remember that movie, the Christmas story where that little boy is there, beating up that redhead kid, just punching them left and right, that's kind of what the scene looked like. Maybe not as bloody. I don't think he really got bloody, but we got in a fight and I took the shoe. I remember I had one of his shoes and I just started beating him in the head with it. Somehow his shoe fell off because back then you never tied your shoes and I just started beating him in the head with it. Another lesson. Kid never fucked with me again ever, ever.
See, in life, bullies are weak people inside. Bullies don't like to be stood up against. Bullies use their words and their actions, fake actions most of the time, or their crew to intimidate you to not take action on it. Very few times has a bully fucked with me that I fucked back with that peacocks up. They literally usually back down because they're not used to people talking back to them or standing up for themselves. That was a mental note I noticed when that happened. [11:03.5]
Fast forward to a year later, another kid, Chris, starts messing with me, and this is the beautiful thing about my dad, by the way. I’ll tell you two quick more stories and the lessons in here, and this does have real utility to this conversation in your business and life.
By the way, in business, people are going to fuck with you. I have grown men telling me, Mark, I want to post this. By the way, they could change the world. They could change their life and change other people's lives with their content, with their message, but they're too afraid to because of bullies, what we call haters. By the way, a hater is a bully. It's the same shit, but it's okay to go talk shit about people online without having a face behind it, right? See, 99 percent of these haters would never say the shit they say online to your face because they'd be knocked out, clearly. [11:55.0]
But this kid, Chris, kept messing with me. I remember basketball. We'd play basketball in the indoor arena, the gymnasium, and then whatever before school started, and he kept kicking me. Now, this kid was a little different and he was actually Ryan’s cousin, by the way, which is kind of funny. Like I said, dirt bags hang out with each other and he had a crew of five people. He always had a big kid, I forget his name, but there were always about five kids together. They always rolled together.
They were obviously on a team and I was on a different team, and the kid kicked me and I was like, Dude, stop. You can't kick me, and I was bigger than this kid, not much, but I felt very confident that I could smack the shit out of this kid and knock them out with a slap, let alone a punch. Anyway, he does it again. I'm like, Chris, dude, second time. Third time you're going down, man.
Now, keep in mind, I was huge into WWF wrestling. I loved wrestling, Hulk Hogan, André the Giant, “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan, the Ultimate Warrior, all these guys, right? So, what does he do? Probably three minutes later, he's kicking me in the shin, and again, they're all laughing. Ha-ha, he ain't going to do shit, do blah, blah blah. [12:57.1]
Sure enough, again, I said it and I implemented what I said I would do if he did it again. I punched him or smacked him, I don't remember exactly. I know he was jolted and then I grabbed them and I did a pile driver, cracked his head on the concrete. Again, I’m not recommending you do that. This was when WWF I thought was real and I thought, Oh, those guys don't get hurt or die, so, okay, I could probably do this in real life.
Anyways, the principal runs out, blah, blah, blah, throws me in the office and he’s like, You're suspended. You can't do this. What are you fighting for? I'm like, Dude, I’m not fighting. I'm standing up for myself. See, there's a big difference. I'm not out trying to pick a fight. I'm not out trying to fight. I'm standing up for myself and, by the way, this has been going on for a long time. Again, I’m not telling the teachers. I’m not telling the principals. I'm not telling anybody. I'm sitting here, trying to figure how to cope with this shit. I gave him multiple chances and he did not listen. I executed and this happens, and I’m in the principal's office and I’m like, Call my dad now. [14:01.4]
See, the beautiful thing about my pops was he had my back and the first question he asked was “Mark, did you start the fight or did you finish the fight?” That was the first question. It's not like he wasn't mad at me like, What are you doing, you little heathen? You're fighting in school, blah, blah, blah. He asked me a very clear question, “Did you start the fight or did you finish the fight?’ and I said, “Dad, I finished the fight. I told him two times not to do it. If he did it again, I had to finish it.”
He said, “So, Mr. Principal, there's clearly no problem. My son did nothing wrong except defend and protect himself.”
“Well, we’ve got to suspend him for three days,” this and that.
He was like, “You're not suspending anybody. Here's what I’m going to do. I'm going to come across your desk and I'm going to punch you in the face multiple times. Are you going to defend yourself or are you going to let me sit there and pulverize you?”
“Well, I’m not saying this and that.” Again, it's easy to talk shit when there are no ramifications, but when you're put in that situation, which I was in that situation, and I defused it by knocking this kid out. [15:02.0]
What was cool about it? My dad stuck up for me, props to my dad, like I said, amazing, and he was proud of me. It's not like he was bragging like I kicked some kid's ass. Again, I was not trying to fight anybody. I never have really looked to fight anybody. I'm not trying to. But I am prepared to kick someone's ass. By the way, I’ve had my ass kicked, too, right? So, it's not like I’m just out here beating people up. That'd be cool for my ego, right? But the truth is you get your ass kicked.
What's interesting about that is I didn't get suspended. I only got detention. More importantly, the principal knew Mark's dad was not around. I really didn't get in much trouble in school other than those two situations. Then one time back at home, again, small town, these two brothers kept messing with me.
This was when you, most of you listening probably don't remember this, but we used to have phones in the house with these long 40–50-foot cords. I was hiding in the bathroom and was like, Josh, you’d better…you can’t…you want to fight, I'll fight you right now, and whatever, talking smack. I was probably 12, 13 years old. [16:08.2]
My dad overheard the conversation. He grabs the phone. He's like, You two get over here now. Three minutes later, they show up at the house. I'll never forget the scene. It was epic. My dad told me, “Mark, you're going to kick their ass. Get out there and enough is enough. Settle the beef and be done with it. You guys are buddies. Why are you fighting? But either way, we're going to fight and I want to see what you’ve got.”
He opens the back door. He has his left arm on the door jam, smoking his menthol cigarettes, Salem cigarettes, I'll never forget. He doesn't smoke anymore, but he did. It's kind of dreary out, a little wet in the ground, muddy, and sure enough, I’m taking on two brothers. Again, we're young, so we're probably punching, scratching, poking each other's eyes out or whatever, so no one is getting hurt, but what we did was we got it off her chest. We dealt with it. [17:00.4]
I miss these days, by the way, just punch someone and get punched back, like, Let's talk about it. Let's do it. It's very freeing, for real. I'm not trying to sound silly here. But, again, I see and the better part of that story is my mom pulls up and she's freaking out, “Oh, my God,” because I’m her baby boy, right? It was like, I don't want to see you get hurt. But literally we got up. We're all muddy as hell. My dad is laughing. Smiling, actually, not laughing, smiling ear to ear. He's just proud to see it happen and my mom is like, What the hell are you guys doing? Get out of here, David's kids, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, we go in the house and I get yelled at and my dad gets yelled at more than I do for letting it happen. But, again, my dad stuck up for me. He believed in me and he was there to monitor, if you will, right? And this is kind of how I grew up. Not kind of, this is exactly how I grew up my whole life. My dad would and I had my uncles around my life and we were tough, so it gave me confidence. Like I said, I was never trying to fight, but what I realized in the fight was that I was prepared for fighting. [18:01.8]
I didn't know my dad was doing this. I don't think he even did. He just was roughhousing with me. Like I said, he would elbow me in the nose by accident or on purpose, who knows? And I could take it. I wasn't crying around like a baby and/or I would fall hard, or he would snap my arm or whatever. I kept going. I didn't stop and he gave me confidence. I knocked that kid out. Boom, okay, I got confidence. Again, I’m not saying confidence walking around to fight, but confidence in life in general.
See, too many people are too pussified to realize that we have to. If you're feeling a weird way, address the situation. I did not like the way these kids talk to me. I didn't like getting punched. I walked away many times. By the way, I know some people listening are like, Dude, why didn’t you just walk away? Fuck, I walked away probably a hundred times. That's the problem. I kept walking away with my tail between my legs like a little baby and I ended up, like I said, gaining confidence when I stood up for myself, because, by the way, if you can't stand up for yourself, why the fuck would anybody else stand up for you? For real. [19:04.2]
When I started getting fat, I started thinking of, plotting, by the way, just like I did when I was 11 years old, plotting how to get in the best shape of my life in my forties. Who do I need to be around? What do I need to be talking about? What should I be intaking? What should my output look like, my workouts, this and this? Fistfights are some of the best lessons in the world.
See, the beautiful thing about it is confidence in business. Depending on where you're at in the journey of your life, you have to gain confidence. If you're not confident in business, you are screwed, right? Putting the deal together, confidence. Making that phone call, it takes courage. It takes confidence to keep going when you don't want to keep going.
But y'all know that there are bullies everywhere, if that's what we want to call them. I think the truth is they're not bullies. They're just dickheads everywhere and what's crazy is they act like they're not dickheads, but everything they do, all the things they say, every action they take is terrible human being situations. [20:06.8]
The reason this is important to me is I have kids that I would do anything for, anything, but it's my job and my duty to raise amazing human beings, to give them the encouragement, encourage them, to give them insightfulness, to give them confidence, to show them grit, show them how to be better at drive, how to drive harder.
Another thing is we talk about the world we live in today, everyone's getting a trophy. That does not go on in my house. If you did not do a good job, you will be addressed as you did not do a good job, but we could do better. It's not like we're talking down to them. We're showing them, Here's what you did. Why do you think you deserve a trophy, first of all? [20:55.7]
And, guys, you realize kids know when they do wrong, right? You do know that, right? If you've done any sort of parenting, your children know when they're fucking up. I sure in the hell did. I got my ass spanked multiple times, many, many, many times, and I’ve always appreciated it. I didn't like it, but every time it happened, I knew it was going to happen. If I got caught. Oh, wait, so you mean there are actually repercussions to my actions?
See, that's the problem. These fuckers don't have any repercussion to their actions because of you, the parents that aren't doing what they say they're going to do if the kids do something bad. There's good repercussion and bad repercussion. If I eat like shit all day long and I’m complaining I’m fat, that's the repercussion. I'm gaining weight. Then when people start talking to me, why is it their fault? They're just saying it out loud. [21:55.3]
I can't control them, by the way. I can control me. Get in the gym. Reduce your calories. Start working out. Taking these action steps gives you courage and gives you confidence. The more you do it, and then before it, they don't even acknowledge you anymore because they can't beat you up. You look way different. You're not fat anymore. You're healthier. You're more productive. But, again, this all takes you have to accept responsibilities for your actions.
When I got my ass kicked, I had my jaw broken, by the way, when I was in my early twenties, because I was being a dumbass. I was the jerk. I've been the bully, too, saying stupid shit. I was lacking confidence at certain points in my life. I would say mean stuff to get a laugh out of the group that I was hanging with, king of the dipshits. I was trying to make everyone laugh at someone else's credit. I'd hurt their feelings. I'd say mean stuff to be silly. That's how I justified it. My parents raised me better than that. I'm saying silly stuff to fit in. I'm saying silly stuff because I have a problem, not them. They were totally fine. I was just being a dick, trying to fit in, trying to get in the cool group. [23:12.5]
You know what's funny? I wouldn't even think about being in that group ever again, knowing what I know today. But as we evolve, us as parents, we have to take this stuff seriously. Our children will become adults and everyone out here is like, Dude, the generation before, man, it's different these days. Let me ask you a question. Who the hell is raising this generation? It's you.
I know you didn't like it when Grandma and Grandpa put soap in your mouth because you were cussing like a sailor. I know you didn't like the spanking by the switch off the tree, but you know what? That generation is fucking solid because you knew you'd get your ass spanked, and heaven forbid, you picked a stick or switch that was going to break and you’d know it. What's wrong with the good old fashioned ass-spanking? What's wrong with the good old fashioned browbeating, if you will? [24:05.0]
Guys, real life is real. This is why you see these fuckers, amazing human beings, by the way. These are children. These are kids that crave—crave—growth and yet we keep giving them little “Good job, Johnny.” They're lying on their bed, playing a video game. “Hey, they're amazing.” How? They're overweight. They have Type-2 diabetes by the time they're 12. How are they amazing? Why are we doing this to our children? Why are we doing this to our world?
And yet we sit there and we say it's everyone else's fault. They're shaming. They're doing this. You can't even call fucking Mr. Potato Head “Mr. Potato Head” they say. That's not happening in my house, but that's what they say. Dude, you're a fucking girl, you're a girl. You're a guy, you're a guy. If you're confused, you're fucking confused. Don't make your problem my problem. I'm not making my problem your problem. I couldn’t give two fucks what you do, but why do they always have to have a voice? Why do they always have to be heard? Why do they always have to think we're against them? [25:15.7]
Listen to my last show. I talk a lot about this as well. We're under attack as human beings right now, for real. They're pegging against each other. Oh, I’m straight and you're gay, so now we're fighting. No, I don't give a fuck about you. Dude, I want you to be in love. I don't care who you love. What does that have to do with my life? By the way, I don't give a fuck if you care about what I fucking love either. It has no weight to you or me.
But the beautiful thing about media is they could create a peg against each other like, I hate you or you hate me because of the way you look or what you believe in, or whatever race you are. Do you understand everyone I know doesn't give a about that stuff? Money is green. That's what we care about. [26:04.8]
We want to serve people. We want to make a lot of money. That has no discriminatory. We don't discriminate against money. We want to make a lot as long as we can provide great value. But the media is procuring all this stuff, bullshit stuff, by the way, thinking that if you're white or black, or you're gay or straight or you're transgender or whatever you are, that it's a problem to the average person. Maybe it is to some people, but it isn't to me and it isn't to the people I’m rolling with. Genuinely, we don't care.
I just want to raise amazing children. I want them to be very thoughtful, very grateful, very loving for themselves, first and foremost, and then to others, because if you don't love yourself, you're not going to love others. I want you to stand up for yourself. Stand up for yourself. If you don't, no one else will. Have a voice. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. [27:15.0]
By the way, you can ask my kids, they fight now all the time, right? They’re wrestling around, screaming, yelling, whatever. They're kids. “Daddy, daddy, oh, Dria bit me, scratched me, oh, Dria is bad.” Dude, you guys figure it out. Solve the problem. Don't be the problem. Solve the problem. Don't be the problem. Don't come to me when you're fucking with your sister and she smacks back. Figure it out, i.e. don't smack her, don't hit her, don't pull her hair, don't pull her shirt, whatever. Figure this out, and vice versa. Dria gets hurt.
Obviously, she's my little baby girl, right? I don't want to see these kids cry, but, dude, she does mean stuff sometimes. There are repercussions to that shit. You scratch Mark or punch Mark, or smack Mark in the head, he's probably going to [give out] repercussions and smack you back or hit you back or throw you down or whatever. I'm not advocating this stuff. This happens. This is children playing and wrestling and fighting. [28:16.0]
I can tell you right now, my kids are tough. I see it, and I’m not just talking physically tough. I'm talking mentally tough. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying when the kids get hurt, we don't cuddle, cuddle them up and say, What's going on, buddy? or Dria bear, what's up? But I’m talking about how it's happening every step to most people. I don't understand it.
I love my children, but I love them so much, I'm willing to teach them the uncomfortable parts of real life. There's going to be adversity. There are going to be challenges. We all have this, but what we all don't have is a coping mechanism of how to deal with it, because a lot of you have been to overly coddled and/or you're coddling so much, when your kids get out of the nest, they go straight to drugs, straight to alcohol, straight to whatever bad stuff is out there, and then now that's a whole other bad cycle. [29:19.3]
I’m not talking shit. I'm telling the facts. I'm just being honest and real as I always am. There are amazing human beings, children, that are dealing with massive drug addictions, alcohol addictions, not because they're bad people, but because their parents didn't give them the coping mechanisms of how to deal with real-life situations. “Oh, my boyfriend broke up with me. I’ve got to go do some heroin.” Dude, teach your kids how to be around good people. Teach your kids. Again, I’m not saying this couldn't happen to my kids. It could, but the probability of it happening is way less than if your kid can literally run free. [30:03.8]
I see kids 10, 12, 14 years old around my complex fucking run in the roost. They tell their parents what they're going to do. They tell their parents to shut up. By the way, if my kids ever say that, please, I don't want to talk about this. I can't imagine if they do, it would not be pretty for anybody. But we have to realize, us, as adults, need to get together and step our shit up.
And don't blame your mom and dad. “I never was raised like that” Dude, you can go on YouTube; you could buy books on anything you want in the world; you could go on YouTube for free [to learn] how to raise kids properly, how to correct my children, blah, blah, blah.
All this has to do with business for me because my confidence, I’m very real with myself. I'm very good at solving problems, very good, because when you solve problems in business, you make a lot more money. Most people aren't good problem solvers because their parents solved all the problems by coddling them. Therefore, they don't have the skill set to solve a fucking problem. They get a hangnail, they don't know what to do. [31:16.6]
In business, there are lots of challenges. There are really highs and really lows, and this all could happen in a day, 10 times a day. You’ve got to learn how to control your emotions, how to control your mental capability. You go super high and then take a big hard hit low, you might end up drinking that day. I'm not saying I haven't done that, by the way. Maybe I’m like, Dude, screw it, it's 11:00, it's five o'clock somewhere. I’ve got to get a couple of beers and relax. I've overdone it many times, but I’m aware of it and I knew there were repercussions of it. Awareness is what we're really talking about here today. [32:00.3]
You, as a parent, need to be aware that you're raising the next generation that's going to be running the world and you see clearly that the fucking time-out and non-spanking culture is fucked. Seriously, just look around. You don't have to take my word for it. Just look around. It's a bunch of pussies everywhere, sheep galore. I'm embarrassed. It's disgusting to me.
In my world, I have a new book coming out, The ME Economy, I'm very deep into this stuff because I’ve created a massive bubble in my life. Financially, mentally, physically, with my family and myself and people I care about,
I'm building an eff you wall so big, you can't see over it. The bubble is so strong to penetrate, it's going to be pretty tough. There are frontlines. We have people. [33:00.7]
My group of people, we're talking about how to take over and grow and build and not be involved in the Me Too world. Fuck your Me Too world. Me Too. Dude, no one really cares, at the end of the day. First of all, I don't want to go down that path, but it's never been more acceptable to do whatever bullshit you do, period. The world doesn't care anymore, but the media does because it allows them to control your brain, get you amped up and pissed off at people, so they can control you through fear. That's what their job is to do. You know that, right?
But my kids will be more successful in life because of bullies, because I teach them how to deal with it, how to navigate it, not like, Go tell the principal and if they don't do anything, we'll call channel 6 news and get them out here, and blah, blah, blah. Dude, stand up. Defuse the situation if you can. If you can't, knock the fucker out, period. Done, end of story. [34:13.5]
We live in a world where people aren't taking responsibility for their actions. This is in your life, in your children's life, etc. I deal with grown adults every day in business and that want to get in business. I see amazing people that will never, ever live to their level or to the level they could because they don't take responsibility. Everything is not their fault. It's someone else's fault.
You don't understand, Mark. Yes, I do. I don't give a fuck. I don't need to understand your bullshit thinking or bullshit excuses that you have in your head. There's nothing to understand. You're lying to yourself. Right? They're rich. “Oh, I know how to do everything.” Cool, show me your bank account. If you're in business, show me your bank account and show me how good you are. [35:05.8]
By the way, if you're in business and you're so good, your bank account reflects that, FYI, period. There had better be a lot of money in there and I’m not talking hundreds of thousands. I'm talking millions, many millions. I want to see your P&Ls. I want to see your balance sheets. I want to see what you’ve got going on. See, you can't lie to someone that can call your bullshit. My job is to help you. I don't help you by coddling you. I help you by identifying the real problem, not your problem, but the real problem, the underlying core problem, and addressing that.
Everyone is very surface-level problem-driven. Mark, I can't find deals. Okay, what's the problem? I can't find deals, I told you. That's not the real problem. The problem is you're too big of a pussy to spend any money on marketing to get leads because you think it costs money, because you're too busy buying the new “Jeezy.” I don't even know what they're called, “Jeezys” or whatever, and new Louis Vuitton bags, and yet you can't go invest money in or spend three grand a month on your marketing to build your business, so you can have more money and make more. Oh, yes, so it's definitely more leads then, huh? [36:13.6]
Dude, do you not see a problem with that? You're a thief to yourself, to your business and to your future self if that's how you operate. See, we’ve got to always be thinking how to build a better operating system. If you do not have what you want in all parts of your life, it's not because it doesn't exist. It's because your operating system is not properly aligned with where you want to go.
You need a new operating system. We could call these mentors. You could read a book, many books. You could watch lots of videos. Get around great people. Hire coaches. Retrain the brain to get a better operating system, to get a better output, a better outcome that you're seeking. [37:01.3]
Bullies helped me come up with this. Bullies helped me get to where I’m at right now in my life. I appreciate all bullies that bullied me. I'm not a victim. I'm a motherfucker victor in my life. I don't know if you like it or not. I don't give a fuck, because I know what it's done for me as a person, as a man, to be the person I am today. I would not be where I’m at if I didn't have bullies in my life, most importantly, if I didn't have my dad in my life, my mom. I don't take financial advice from them, but my parents are amazing human beings that would give the shirt off their back, and they didn't just talk the shit, they actually did it.
Too many of you use this, do as I say, not as I do. If you want to lead, lead the fucking pack. Don't talk about leading the pack. Lead it. Get uncomfortable. Have uncomfortable conversations. Sit down with your spouse and tell them, Hey, I’m going places. Are you on the boat or not? It's uncomfortable. [38:11.4]
The truth is you're bullying no matter what. In your brain, you might be bullying yourself. Retrain your brain. Get a better operating system. You have time. If you woke up today and you're listening to this, you have time to reprogram. It's not easy. Why should it be easy? You're unprogramming years of programming and you're trying to get it done in a day, in an hour? I'm still dealing with it. I still deal with my old shitty behaviors and habits and all this stuff that I’ve dealt with in my life to get to where I’m at today.
I just want nothing but the best for you. I don't want nothing but the best for your children, the people you care about and the people you love. Why are you doing all this bullshit that you do all day to get to where you want to go? Because you care, too. [39:00.0]
I hope this message is hitting you directly in the jugular in a good way. This isn't to hurt you. This is to help you. My goal is not [hurting you]. I mean, there's nothing here that I would think about hurting someone. We have to step it up. We have to lead by example. We have to get our confidence intact by stepping up. Fight for what you believe in. Stop tattletaling. Teach your kids how to solve problems. That's a good thing. Show them. Guide them. Let them sit in their room for two days with a pen and paper and figure it out. Go through the journey. That's what this is.
My business is grateful and the people's lives I’ve impacted, and my family is grateful for all bullies. I still have bullies today. You call them haters. Some people call them bullies. They are what they are. You know what they are to me? Nothing. They're inspiring. The more hate mail I get, the more I know I’m moving in the right direction. [40:06.0]
You go left. I'm going right. I don't follow the masses. Never have, never will. Masses, we know what happens to that typically. I’d rather be an independent thinker. Think on my own, have my own goals, not what my mom and dad told me I should do, or my grandma and grandpa, but my own shit. If I did what my grandma and grandpa, and my parents told me to do in life financially, I’d be doing the same shit they're doing, barely getting by. You’ve got to be an independent thinker. Teach them that. It's an amazing skill set to have.
You think it's normal. It's not, trust me. I've talked to tens of thousands of people that are not independent thinkers. They're so worried about making a move because of their mom or their dad or their cousin, or how they'll be judged and this and that. By the way, judgment is bullying, if you will. I don't judge. Dude, listen, I don't care. I don't have time to judge. I'm too busy building my shit. [41:05.3]
I hope you conquer the world. The biggest world is your world. That's all that matters. When I come out with the new book, The Me Economy, I hope you grab a copy. One hundred percent of the profits are going to a charity that we'll share with you guys later. I'm so excited to announce it. It's big. Big, big, big. It's a different charity than any of my other books ever, but I’m excited to share it with you.
Bullying—use it as fuel or use it as an excuse. One is going to serve you and one is not. It is a choice. You have to be willing to make it.
I hope you have an amazing day. With that said, make today count. Peace.
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