Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How a bad home life swallows the joy from even your biggest financial wins (6:40) 
  • Why having a non-negotiable deadline for when work ends improves your family life and helps you make more money (even if you have a to-do list longer than the Eiffel Tower) (7:59) 
  • The “3 Questions Formula” that helps your entire family reach their full potential at home and in their careers (9:47) 
  • How taking advantage of your kids brings your family closer together (12:32) 
  • 3 words that instantly shatter all of your biggest self-limiting beliefs (22:25) 
  • How watching The Mandolorian every week with your kids helps them get closer to God (35:50) 

If you’d like to learn more about how Jonathan can help you get your message out to the world, check out his website at https://marketyourmessage.com. Or if you’d like to grab a copy of his book, Your Message Matters, head over to https://yourmessagemattersbook.com.   

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times when your work is now in your home, check out my book Win At Home First on Amazon. Forbes Magazine rated it one of 7 books everyone on your team should read. 

Are you stuck in your business, your marriage, or with your spirituality? If you are, I’m launching the Prioritize Leadership Academy in April — designed to help you break through your financial, family, or faith-based rut. You can learn more about it here: https://www.corymcarlson.com/prioritizedleaderacademy/

Read Full Transcript

Hello, this is Corey. Before we go today's episode, I have some exciting news. I want to share with you. Think about it on a scale from one to 10, how important is it for you to get this next year? Right. For many leaders, the answer is they can't afford to miss the Mark in 2021 because of the impact 2020 had on their business, their personal life or their home life. They can't afford to miss that Mark in 2021. So in light of all the tools that we already have at our fingertips, what else can we do to ensure success? We have found that one of the biggest blind spots of helping leaders and organizations reach their full potential is misaligned or mismanaged priorities. For example, when that CEO says, it's all about the people and culture, but yet all they're ever talking about is profit.

Or when that business leader talks about working at a healthy pace, but yet their expectations, you work 24 seven. When you have misaligned priorities, your best leaders leave. This is why we excited to announce the prioritize leader Academy. We recently launched this Academy in Cincinnati and do the early success. We want to take this virtually to impact leaders outside of Cincinnati. This mastermind will bring together a few key components. The first one is content. This 12 month program will be centered around the prioritized leader framework. This is a proven framework that we've used for years with leaders and organizations. Second is community. We all know we don't want to be the smartest person in the room. And so this mastermind will surround you with other leaders that you can learn from. The third component is coaching in between our mastermind sessions. There will be one-on-one coaching to help you implement the learnings into your personal professional life.

And the last component is this will be faith centric. We will be bringing faith and scripture into our meetings, into our content and conversations to make sure that we are all Christ centered leaders going forward. So if you were looking for accountability outside perspective, and this sounds like it'll help you reach your personal professional goals, then the prioritized leader academies for you. We launch in April, we've got limited capacity. So visit corium carlson.com for slash prioritize leader Academy to learn more as well as some upcoming free webinars that we will be having to do any Q and a to help answer any questions that you may have for this. So thank you for listening on today today's episode.

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Cory Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(03:00): Carlson. You're listening to the win at home first podcast today, I'm joined with John again, Milligan and met him through Chad Allen, who was the helped me write the book, went on first being the writing coach, and he spoke highly of Jonathan. During that time. I actually even signed up for a few of John's courses along the way and learn from him. And now we're actually meeting in person. I've watched some videos of you, Jonathan, but now I'm actually talking live to you. So this is awesome. And, you know, successful in being a professional blogger, which some listeners have no idea necessarily. That means you'll share that with us, but you're also married. Have two kids launched a book this fall about how your message matters. Obviously that's the title, but what it means is so just a lot of neat things that I care about, and I know our listeners do as well. So thanks for coming on the podcast today.

(03:48): Hey, Corey, I'm so excited to be here, have this discussion and I love what your podcast is all about and the premise of it. I think we need that out there more than ever so congrats to you.

(03:59): No. Well, well, thanks. Just on the timing of that, when I started all this, this was way before winning home. I mean, working from home and it was just this idea of, Hey, I struggle with this in my life when I was traveling and, and now everyone's coming home. It, it, it's a, it's a message that is, is needed from a time perspective, but that obviously was not the plan. Very similar to your book as well, where people are trying to figure out, Hey, I've been chasing this dream, working in the corporate America, but does it matter? You know, I'd rather kind of have my message matter as opposed to maybe some other you know, company, but may already excited to dive into a lot of different questions. I want to talk to you about, but let's start with the first one in your life. Plus working with different leaders. What have you found that key trait to be that takes to win both at work and at home?

(04:46): You know, this is, there's so many answers to this. There really is. But if I had to narrow it down, I would say that if you don't win at home, it doesn't matter if you win at work. That's how I feel. Yes. And it's almost like, it's almost like it's got to start there. I think so many times what we do is work, especially sometimes for us men. But I think it's, it could be true for ladies as well. Sometimes what happens is if you were to word cloud or map out our week work is like this big thing it's in the middle and then life just kind of fits in around it. And I don't know necessarily that that's the way it should be. And that's why in my journey, I kind of questioned that through my process of going from a high school teacher to working as a corporate, you know, executive recruiter, which sometimes required lots of hours to what is it that I really want from my work?

(05:45): And in fact, we may get into this, but that was part of it is one day I actually sat down and said, what am I actually trying to accomplish with all this work? Because if the, if the work's not supporting the life I want live, it's the wrong work. And so I think that's kind of the first premise. If you, if you're kind of wanting to win at both, I feel like you gotta make sure you're winning at home. And I remember hearing a speaker once said that we all have balls that we juggle. You've probably heard this speech before. And they said a lot of them are rubber balls, the kind of rubber balls that just bounce. But there's some very few, but there's some that are glass in the glass. One is your family. It's your home. Don't drop that one. You might be able to drop your work and recover from it. Maybe you had a failed business and you recovered from it. Don't let the home drop.

(06:38): Yup. No, it's, it's very, very true. And you're right. I mean the, the work winds don't feel as good of home is not good. I mean, I know if I have a say a successful month financially or whatever it may be, I, it's not really fun to come and tell my wife that if she's mad at me and she can say, well it's because you worked all the time. It's because you were never around. And so it definitely, if you're not winning at home, there is no, there's no fun celebration in those wins anymore. And so absolutely true. So that's good. And Jonathan, how are you going about, you know, your, your work, you are, you're a business owner, you have a growing business, you launched a book. I mean, there's a lot of demands on your business and on. And so what are the boundaries that you are setting up in your life? So work doesn't take over because as a business owner and it's, it's hard to stop working. Sometimes

(07:35): It, it really is. It is. And I think it's especially true when you love your work too. Right? So you love it. And so it's like, sometimes you can be on annual leave Saturday, if everyone's preoccupied, especially if you work from home, like, well, maybe I should just get some stuff done for work. And so there's that temptation. There's that challenge there? I think, I think what's been helpful to me is to put a few hard boundaries in. So always having dinner with my family, even if I'm working from home, it's almost like I can I'm in a two-story home, but I'm sitting here and I'm working. I can smell the food. It's kind of like, it's about time to shut down. And when it shuts down, I shut the door, I shut the door with my equipment in it. And like, I'm done for the evening.

(08:27): You're never fully done, but you have to decide. So it's setting those hard boundaries. I think another thing for, for us has been every Friday morning for bread, we have breakfast. So we're recording this right now. It's Friday. We did it this morning where I actually, at first it was just my wife and I having that consistent weekly check in with each other. And we have kind of a simple formula. We follow, we can get into if you want, but it helps us stay on the same page. It helps me know what's going on. It helps her to know what's going on in my business. I know what's going on with our kids. If I've kind of been a little disconnected with my work. And then we started including our kids in that, that breakfast. And that's like, I value that so much that Friday morning breakfast at home. And sometimes it's an hour, so there's this two hours, but it's, it's one of the most valuable things we do as a family every week.

(09:18): Mm mm. What time is that breakfast? Cause you do have teenagers and, and depending on the day, they, if they're not at school, they want to sleep in, they got school, they got really classes. So what time are you doing it at?

(09:30): Yeah. So right now it works out well because our son he's homeschooled daughter is working online. She's home from college right now. So but typically we do it around nine o'clock in the morning. And usually it goes for about an hour stumps. It goes longer if we have things to discuss, but it's kind of a great time for us all to check in and a real simple formula that somebody else can use. If they want to do something like this is we do three, we got three questions. Question number one is what are your wins from this past week? What's something we can celebrate together. That was a win for you. And each person goes around and we share that number two it's what's on your mind, what's kind of on your mind right now. What's kind of been the thing that you're mulling over in your head.

(10:15): You've been thinking a lot about that. We can help you think through it. And then question number three is what's coming up. What's what's going on this next week. So that we're all on the same page. I know. Oh yeah. Well, you know, we've got this or that, or I need to rearrange my business schedule a little bit because my wife needs me for this or that. It's just amazing when you do that, it's, it's like everybody gets back on the same page and it's a, it's a wonderful practice that we just don't want to miss.

(10:47): Yeah. That's neat. I love the formula. Thanks for sharing it. I know myself. I know other listeners will do some what what's high, what's low. Then we get some other pieces in that I know there's variations. How do you handle Jonathan? The, the rolling of the eyes or not today, dad, or I don't want to do it. And so how have you handled some of the pushback? I mean, cause anytime you do those neat things that are expanding the kingdom in the home, there's a spiritual warfare. And so how do you handle that in your home? What's that look like?

(11:17): Well, and we've had that and you know, to be transparent, I think it's gotten better as the kids have gotten older. To be honest with you now that my daughter's 18 son 16, I think that it's gotten better. They kind of know it's coming. So it's not like we're popping it on them. Right? And so they know, you know, Friday morning, this is what we do. And they, they kind of fall into the routine there. That being said, and my wife has had the, these conversations the last couple of years, as our kids moved into the teenage years, it's been, how do we capitalize? Especially today when there's just, there's so much pulling at the family right there, everybody's got their own phones, we've got our own rooms, we've got our own friends, we got our own devices. We can watch our own TV programs.

(12:04): Like you could live in the same house and there's no communication going on. And what we came to the conclusion of is when we find those moments where the kids are, who were all down in the living room and for whatever reason, it brought us here, like capitalize on those moments, don't be distracted or especially me as the dad. It's easy for me to say, well, the big game is on. I want to watch the game. Or like as parents it's being in tune to wait a minute, all of our kids are right here in the living room. In this moment, we need to be present right now. Don't miss out on those moments. And so sometimes you have to look forward organically if you can't schedule it. And when you find it happen, organically capitalize on it. Quick, quick story on this. So we noticed when the kids came home Wednesday night at the church, they had their own youth program.

(13:00): And we hosted a small group Bible study in our home and then everybody left and then our two kids would show up, well, whatever they showed up, they would plop down on the couch and start talking. And we started using that, whether they realize it or not as an opportunity to communicate, to share, to laugh, to talk before they got distracted doing their own thing. And we saw that as like, that's a moment we can capitalize on because it happens every week, whether they realize it or not, we're going to take advantage of that.

(13:33): Yep. That's good. I love, I love all those stories. One piece of that is, you know, we've got to lead, like you said, capture that moment, but I mean, the kids are just like us. They're going to grab the phone. They're going to stare at it. And if we see that moment of, if we get to put down the phone, it always cracks me up. When you hear adults talking about, Oh, the kids these days, they're always on their phone. Really? What about adults these days? Right? They're always on their phone. And so, yeah. And they're following our example. I mean, there's some times if I'm on my phone, my kids will just grab theirs. You know, they don't want to interrupt me. Maybe it's out of being polite. They think I'm doing a work thing. So they're being polite. Maybe it's out of just frustrated.

(14:16): They came to tell me something and well, that's not going to pay attention. Same thing that we do with our kids where we're like, Oh, there's going to ignore me. Well, you know, you weren't giving them attention. So they're going to go do the exact same thing we do when we're in line at a store or whatever, we just grab our phone and just start, you know, messing around. So I think it's neat to, for you to challenge us all in that way to take the lead. And if everyone's in the room, figure out how to put the devices down. I know in our house, when we're watching the show, it's no devices as we all watch that show. And that goes for me too. So the, you know, back in the day, I used to have my laptop on my lap during shows. I don't like I haven't done that in years because it's not sending the right message. I want, because if my laptop is on my lap, I'm mentally not in that room. And so it's this whole idea of be present where you're present.

(15:09): Absolutely. We do that to Cory with dinner. So we tell them no phones at the dinner table, because it's so easy for everyone to grab their plate, sit down, and then you're scrolling, doing your thing. And we just say, Nope, you gotta go place it on somewhere else. There's no phones at the dinner table. And sometimes, honestly the kids have caught us in this challenge. Hey, why are you on your phone? It's like, you're right. I wasn't being, I forgot. Or I wasn't paying attention. You're right. But see, they know that this, that the standards are there and we hold each other accountable.

(15:41): Yup. So good from a any kind of time management hacks or things that you're doing during your day to make sure you got that 9:00 AM guarded on that Friday morning as you've talked about. And you've got some other pieces guarded. So before you know it, Oh my goodness. It's dinner time. I didn't get enough done because I just, I scroll social media or I was too busy. What are some of the things that you're doing to make sure that I'm only working in this office during this moment? And then the other times I'll be out with the family, with the kids, things like that. What are some of those pieces that you've adapted now that everyone's at home?

(16:20): Yeah. Well, I think it goes back to that calendar and forecasting the next week. So when my son was playing basketball and my daughter was in volleyball a lot of times, especially when they were in junior high, their games were like at three 30. And so I would actually schedule those in first. So those became the things that, you know, I was at every game out of, you know, going out of town for a tournament in Orlando, cause some in Florida or so I'm in Jacksonville. So they would go to Orlando a lot of times for tournaments, we get that on the calendar. Like that was important to us to be there at those games. So I think first of all, it's really starting with kind of the hard things, the hard edges that are in ink that you decide are any on your calendar.

(17:07): So it starts there. Right? And then second of all, for me, you know, my work is all online. And so for me, working from home, it is, I kind of had this simple formula. I fall, I follow it's maker, mornings manager afternoons. And so in the mornings is when I typically don't have any appointments. I don't do appointments. It's my time to do the thing that I enjoy. And for me, it's, it's a creative outlet, whether it's writing a book or it is working on the next course that I might sell working on a webinar or a membership site of a membership site, I might be preparing for a class I might teach that's my creative space. And then in the afternoons is manager afternoons where I've got meetings, appointments, I'm doing interviews or I'm handling administrative tasks. And I find that works well for me because the mornings is when I have the most creative energy afternoons handling, the admin tasks are, you know, a little bit easier for me to handle setting it up that way. And so that's a simple formula on top of, in the very, very early morning, doing things that kind of sharpen the saw with, you know, maybe we can get into if you want with the spiritual, the mental and the physical setting yourself up for a successful day.

(18:35): Yeah. I'd love to hear what, what you're doing as well. I like your simple formula, make your mornings manager afternoons. I have been doing something similar for a little while. Revenue generating activities before noon and then afternoon would be, you know, some other things that aren't, you know, that way. And I think for all listeners, no matter what their businesses and to understand it's all about blocking your time in the calendar. What I used to do would be, Oh, I'll do that Thursday afternoon. I'll get to it on Thursday afternoon or even Thursday morning. It doesn't matter. But I would say I'll get to it. But before I know it, someone pops something in my calendar and Oh, crud, I can't do it. I now have this meeting at two. And so now I've blocked out. My counter is, I know you have as well blocked out my calendar to do those certain activities throughout the day. So if someone's going to have a meeting with me or for those listening who maybe have a coworker, that's putting meetings on it, they can't do in certain areas because those are blocks of time that are guarded. And I've just, I've loved that. So it's neat how you do that. Very similar.

(19:38): Yeah. If you get it blocked off, then people can't schedule it. I mean, it just shows that you're not available. I think it's it's, it's important that we do that. I learned this hack in corporate when I was there about seven years ago or so, and I would have strategy meetings. And after that I like Todd Henry. He talks about the big three. And so I would block out time for the big three and people at corporate and say, Hey, we really need to have this meeting at two o'clock. Can you do it? And I'd be like, well, let me go talk with the people involved, see if I can move it. And then I would move it. If I could, even though the meeting was just with myself, I just would move it because there were, at that particular time, I was having an hour a week dedicated just to strategic thought on a particular project I was working on. And so I started that in my corporate and now I've really expanded it and really blocked a lot more. My counter faced off that. So that's cool that you're, you're doing the same thing. Thank you very much for listening to today's episode. I hope you are joining it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very

(20:48): Much for others of you. You have not. And I encourage if you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work and what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read. The book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas and tips to help with your marriage. Third is parenting and the last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional resource, I encourage you to check out my book went home first. It is available on Amazon, as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much.

(21:43): You launched your book, your message matters. I love the title and I love the idea behind the book just because it's, you know, it's getting your passion, become your platform. You know, a lot of what I believe in, in leaving corporate because of just brokenness and home and work, figuring out that balance now, actually saying, Hey, let's, let's go do it. So I love that. What made you decide, Hey, I'm going to actually write the book. You've you've been a professional blogger for, you know, it's been 12 years you've been doing this and now you brought book to market. What was the reason for it?

(22:14): I think for me well, I I'd done a self published book. I'd never done one traditionally published. So there was it partially, it was a little bit of a, a goal to have a traditionally published book. But beyond just that it was this reoccurring message that kept coming up as I worked with people. So a lot of times I'll work with people at the very beginning stages where they have a story, they have a passion, they have a skillset experience, but for some reason there's a block to getting started. It's, you know, snaps, we call it the imposter syndrome or it's, there's too much competition out there. But really what I discovered was people weren't being stopped because they didn't have what it took. They were being stopped because they did not believe their message mattered. And then there's the first time I realized this was one of my courses that I open in the spring and fall.

(23:09): I decided to do a live chat all day. And I said, I'm going to be in the live chat because I had a software where I could have like six to 10, you know, instant messaging things going on on my, on my computer. And I was inundated with people talking to me all day long. It was 12 hours of nothing, but live chat with like five different things going on. And this is when I was hit with it the hardest. Okay. So I have a program, teaches people how to start a business online. It was the last day. So I was prepared for questions that were going to be like, well, how could, how do I know this is going to work for me? Or what do you teach in this module? It was none of that, Corey, what they said over and over again is that they doubted themselves.

(23:54): Like I walked away that day and said, they doubt themselves more than they doubt my product can help them. And I think for a lot of business owners, that's something we don't think about is we got to help our potential customers or clients believe this can work for them more than just the product or the widget or the features or whatever. We've got to help them see that. And I became more and more convinced that that was the message. And so the book is a, I think it's a unique book in that it's got two parts. Part, one is more of a self development, self discovery. And then part two is more the marketing tactics, the things that you can apply to your message to build that audience in that business.

(24:43): Yeah. That's neat. Before I knew of your book before I knew of, you know, some of the things you just mentioned, I had made a modification really in my sales script, as I would talk to prospects because for a long time, I was just, this is my, you know, this is the program and these are the four different pillars and this is why it works. And kind of that, that piece, I added a part of almost asking questions and figuring out ways to weave in encouragement that they could do it almost kinda like anyone can go through this program because you're exactly right. That the self limiting beliefs that people have are really holding them back. And we, we, we always continue to hit it, hit that new ceiling. You know, I know glass ceilings is definitely a super big buzz word right now, but I think all of us have those glass ceilings that we put above ourselves that, Oh, I can't do it. Or he is supposed to be that online success. I'm not, she is supposed to be, you know, the next person for the title. I am not whatever it could be, that it really holds us back. And it's so much of the mind. So that's neat. That's a neat resource you put together,

(25:52): You could learn all of the marketing tactics. She could learn all the sales techniques, but if you don't fundamentally believe that you have something to share or your product can make a difference, then it doesn't matter what marketing tactics you have. You're not going to use them.

(26:06): Yeah. Well, that's good. Well, thanks for putting that message out there because so many people need to hear it. Part of my story, Jonathan is this moment I heard this phrase, Hey, you need to hand over your story for a greater story. And I love talk with leaders like you of, Hey, how's that look like in your life, but those moments where you were closed fist on something, and then you're like, don't forget it. I'm open-handed to whatever you have for me. God. What, what was that in your life? Was there a particular moment or maybe there's been a few that you would love to just help you know, share with us that help us see into your life?

(26:40): Yeah, there there's been a few, you know, I've been on a, since I was probably 17 of the dominating question that is re has been repeating in my mind is what's God's will for my life. What is my calling? What is God's will? And that caused me to go on a journey that when you first look at it, you see a guy who seems like he's all over the place, but looking back, I can also see how God I was at work at each and every step of the way, guiding me when I did it. No it, and you know, it's interesting because like what I do today, I couldn't have even studied for in college. It didn't exist. So I think we all are on a journey. We have to stay open to some degree. So for me, it was both, my parents were, were educators.

(27:28): Dad was a high school teacher and a basketball coach. My mom was an elementary teacher. I'm married and elementary teacher. I started as a high school teacher and coach. So it's like, you know, continuing the family business, right. This is the, this is the thing. Yeah. And in some ways, you know, I kind of had it right, because I still teach today. I do it in a different way, but it was the wrong context for me. It was, I had more of an entrepreneurial spirit. I had, you know, other things, aspirational things I wanted to do. And so I had to go on that journey of like, what is that calling there? And one of the things I talk about in the book is that was a great discovery for me personally, was that my calling wasn't in a thing, a title, a job, a business, my calling was act actually right under my nose all along.

(28:23): It's how God uniquely created and wired me the unique gifts that he had given me and me that he wanted me to steward and to use those, to do good in the world. That is what my purpose is. And that was hugely in an encouragement for me because what it told me was that in my life, my passions may change. The thing that I'm doing now today may not be the thing. I'd, you know what, at my original blog was a career coaching blog. I'm not doing it not anymore, but how I show up best to help people. What I believe is the purpose God's given me has settled me because I've, I've been able to uncover, what's changed less about me regardless of the economy, regardless of the context, regardless of the situation what's changed us about me is how God has made me how he's he's caused me to view the world.

(29:20): And I need to show up, filled up doing that thing. Yeah. And as long as I continue to do that on living out, God's calling for me and staying in tune with what he wants for me. And so that's the beautiful part of the journey. Corey for me is, is like, I I'm open, my hands are open. You could do whatever you want. Like if, if I'm convinced you want me to go plant a church and start a church, and you want me to, to sell this or stop doing this, and my hands are open because I know what you've given me as unique gifts, that everybody has a unique gift. It's not that I only I have this and everybody else, you know, some people get it. Some people don't, I don't believe that. I believe everybody has a gift. And once you uncover it and you know what that is, that's when you can begin to live out your purpose. And so once I discovered that Corey it's settled me on my journey to help me to know that if my passions changed, that's okay, because my purpose remains and that God has given me a work to do, and I need to stay in touch and in tune with him on where he's moving.

(30:27): Yeah, that's great. And I love how you explain that in your, your answer. And I align with a lot of those pieces as well, but how, how do you in your life and to help the listeners and heck I'll take it any ways to continue to improve, but how do you take that? You know, very nice answer, 30,000 foot level and say, and you zooming into the tactical of you had a rough prior month. Oh, what do I do this month? Is, is this still what my, my, my call and what I'm supposed to be doing them? Or am I supposed to pivot change direction? Okay. How do you and the tactical that day to day continue to say, all right, guy, what's your will for my life. I feel like I'm getting distracted. I want to go make another course or maybe I want to jump ship. How do you do that in your own life?

(31:12): Well, I think for us Christians, it's, it's staying in God's word really is because, you know, as the, the, the Holy spirit works in your life and in your heart and guide you and direct you and moves you forward, I think that's, that's kind of part one to that. And then there's, there is, I think there is a responsibility for us as well. I think if you're going on this journey, you gotta be willing to do what you gotta do to take care of your family at the same time. So when I started my business, I didn't start full time. I started her on the side and built it up over time. I think God gives us wisdom from other people. So who the other safety in a multitude of counselors. So who are you letting in your life that has the ability to be candid with you in a good way to, to help you and to guide you?

(32:06): I have those people. I have certain friends that also own businesses that they've been able to speak directly into my life. And I have a CPA. I just got off the call with the CPA, who she can talk directly with me on, Hey, I'm concerned about this. Or, you know what? We need to change that, or what do you think about doing this next month? So again, I think it goes back to listening well to the Holy spirit. What is he saying in your heart, in your life? Are you staying in God's word? And then number two, who are the people you're surrounding yourself, your other friends who have to build these, speak into you financial advisors, like create that group to help you because it's hard to read the label when you're inside the bottle and it's very difficult to always make. It's, it's always easy for us to like, look at other people's situations ago. I see exactly what you need to do, but we can't, we can't do it for ourselves. And so we have to have that outside perspective.

(33:06): No, that's great. What are you hearing from God right now in your life? You know, the thing that he has probably been teaching me the most is and maybe if we get to this, I'll go ahead and tell you. So I like reading, I like having these little scripture journals in the morning. You can buy just the, the specific book of the Bible, where it's got the scripture on the left side, and then just blank, you know, lined and note note, paper for you to write and the other side. And so I've just been, you know, taking one book of the Bible and just studying through it. And the thing that has been probably the dominating thing for me that has really stuck out is in the scriptures where it talks about how the writers of the new Testament were moved by the Holy spirit or guided or led by the Holy spirit. I looked up the Greek word and it's actually the word where we get the word fairy.

(34:10): So like a ferry boat. And so the here's the idea, the concept, or the idea is here's these apostles. And we know that they were fishermen. They were some were scholars. They have, they come from all different places, right? And here they were doing what they could do. Like we are, we're just kind of doing what we think we, we are trying to contribute, right. But little did they know that while they're driving in their individual car that are actually parked on God's ferry about, and he's taken them all to a destination that he has predestined. And it reminds me of the scripture that he, who began a good work in use is going to see it to the end that God is guiding us. God's going before us. And all we have is limited understanding of where we're going next, but we can put our faith and trust in God that he's the ferryboat. And we're, we're this little car that's driving around the ferry boat, trying to run a business, try to do what we can. But if we put our trust in God, he is not going to fail. His plans never fail, and he's going to take us where we need to go, but we got to get on the ferry boat. We got to put our trust in him.

(35:22): Yup. And then stay on the ferry boat, not drive off, drive off. No, I it's. It's a great visual, as you know, you're a very intentional family, tensional husband and parent. What does that look like in your life, from one-on-one dates and getting those times with each of them, your wife, and then each of your kids. Yeah.

(35:43): Yeah. So that, honestly, I would probably say we were more intentional about that a few years ago when they were younger. One thing that we did a lot that honestly you've probably gotten away from as life got maybe even 2020 is we used to do like one-on-one dates with our kids. So like I would take my daughter and we would go do whatever she wanted to do. And vice versa. We would do that every single month. It's kind of morphed more into being at home a little bit. So it's been more like, Hey, what, what's something that we all love and enjoy that we can watch on TV that comes out like a, we really like Mandalorian on Disney plus. So we all watched that together. So it's, it's changed and morphed a little bit. But I know at one point when we were intentional about that, when they were younger, I really see that as a foundational to maintaining and keeping that relationship as they get older, because I think that's so important because the end of the day, I think what I want is two things. I want kids who want to come back home. And two, I want to have grown kids who have an actual relationship with their parents, and if we can create those, I think that's important. And then I think I say a third thing that I heard once that's always stuck with me is I want my kids to be independently dependent upon God. If I can help them create that independently, their own thing, where they are living dependent upon God, that is a win for me.

(37:26): Absolutely. Well, like I mentioned, the foundational pieces, it must have worked if you've got a son showing up at 9:00 AM breakfast to talk about the good, the bad, the ugly. So that's good news. So congrats to that piece. I would love to keep talking and maybe with your next book, we will we'll, we'll do it again. What's the best way Jonathan, for the listeners to get ahold of you?

(37:53): Yeah. So market your message.com is kind of the main platform we have. As far as the book goes, your message matters. Book.Com is where you can go in and find out, you know, where it's available and where you can get a copy. And yeah, that's, that's where you could find me.

(38:12): That's awesome. Well, thank you very, very much for your time and sharing your wisdom with the winter home first audience. Yeah. Thanks for having me, Corey.

(38:22): I want to thank you for listening to my podcasts. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website at corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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