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There’s nothing worse than a financial advisor with a victim mentality. In fact, I go out of my way to make sure they don’t buy my products or coaching.


Because they infect others with their negative energy. They stunt their own growth and wealth. And they complain at every chance they get, but avoid solutions like the plague.

Now, financial advisors with a victim mentality won’t even hit play on this episode. But I recorded this episode for you—if you sometimes slip into a victim mentality, and want to eradicate it before it sabotages your joy, business, and life.

In this episode, you’ll discover why a victim mentality is lethal, how to obliterate it, and why you should fire any client that’s infected by it.

Listen now.

Show highlights include:

  • The insidious and widespread mindset that plagues financial advisors and strangles their wealth, health, and happiness (1:35)
  • How having even one client infected by a victim mentality can make your business go belly up (3:28)
  • The tragic, yet motivating news story that instantly nukes your victim mentality for good (7:49)
  • Making less than $150k per year as a financial advisor? You can’t afford to miss this… (9:29)
  • 5 signs you may have a victim mentality (and how to reverse them before misery and poverty consume your world) (14:16)

Want to find out how healthy you really are? Head to Stevyn’s site and take her free health assessment test for financial advisors here: https://www.growwellthy.com/quiz

Need help getting more clients as a financial advisor? I created a free, 47-minute video outlining the steps to my “CLIENT Method,” which helps financial advisors land more clients. Watch the video before I take it down here: https://www.theadvisorcoach.com/theclientmethod.html

If you’re looking for a way to set more appointments with qualified prospects, sign up for James’ brand new webinar about how financial advisors can get more clients with email marketing.

Go to https://TheAdvisorCoach.com/webinar to register today.

Go to https://TheAdvisorCoach.com/Coaching and pick up your free 90 minute download called “5 Keys to Success for Financial Advisors” when you join The James Pollard Inner Circle.

Want to transform your website into a client-getting machine? Go to https://www.theadvisorcoach.com/website to get The Client-Getting Website Guide.

Want a masterclass training in running effective Facebook Ads? Head to https://TheAdvisorCoach.com/ads-training.

Discover how to get even better at marketing yourself with these resources:




Read Full Transcript

You're listening to “Financial Advisor Marketing”—the best show on the planet for financial advisors who want to get more clients, without all the stress. You're about to get the real scoop on everything from lead generation to closing the deal.

James is the founder of TheAdvisorCoach.com, where you can find an entire suite of products designed to help financial advisors grow their businesses more rapidly than ever before. Now, here is your host, James Pollard.

James: The title of this week's episode is “These Financial Advisors Disappoint Me”, and I'm not going to waste much time here, the advisors who disappoint me are the ones who let tiny, relatively insignificant things stop them from accomplishing their goals.

I am flabbergasted at how little it takes to stop some people. Even something as small as getting rejected on a phone call can derail people for an entire day. It's ridiculous. If you're American or Canadian, I have a lot of listeners in Canada, with a fridge full of food and a warm bed in your house, then you are one of the luckiest people in the world, full stop, period. I don't care how bad you think things are for you. They are worse for other people. [01:13.6]

Now, I'm not saying that to let you off the hook or to let you be complacent with whatever you're doing right now, because you think, Oh, I’ve got it good. Other people have it worse. I want you to do bigger and better things. You may be one of the wealthiest people in the world, but still poor by American standards, so I want you to get rich by American standards. I still want you to rise above everyone else, and you can't get to the next level if you're trapped with a victim mentality.

You might think it's strange that I'm making a podcast episode about this, because I'm not a mindset coach. I don't really talk too much about “Ooh, you need to think positive thoughts and you need to think this way.” I'm more about getting results with marketing. If I tell you to do an email autoresponder and I say, put Emails 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 in there, your mindset isn't going to matter once the emails are in place. [02:01.3]

Now, of course, the mindset gets you to the emails and it gets you to turn it on, and it gets you to say certain things, but assuming the system is in place, your mindset doesn't matter. If I have assets, right, I have rental properties—let's say, I have rental properties all over the United States from New York to California—is my mindset going to stop those checks from coming in? Not necessarily. There's the Rockefeller Trust. There are trusts that have been established for families. John Rockefeller's mindset, is that impacting how his trust is performing? No, he's dead. He's long gone.

So, I don't focus too much on the mindset. I understand that it's very important, but it's just not my cup of tea, but I really feel like I need to address this and here's why. If you run a small business where you only deal with a few clients or maybe even a few dozen clients, it's easy to get lucky and avoid the people who have victim mentalities, especially if you work with higher-end clients. [02:55.2]

I used to coach financial advisors. That's why my business is literally called the Advisor Coach, and I would avoid the victim mentality simply because victims typically don't pay thousands of dollars for coaching and consulting, so, in a sense, I got lucky because I didn't run into people with the victim mentality. However, as one expands one's business and gets in front of hundreds or thousands of people, then chances are that one is going to encounter people with the victim mentality, and statistically speaking, it's pretty much guaranteed to happen.

This podcast has tens of thousands of listeners. I'm incredibly grateful for that. Thank you for listening. My website gets tens of thousands of visitors per month. My online ads get in front of tens of thousands of people per month. I say that not to brag, but to point out to you that even if only one half of 1% of 10,000 people have victim mentalities, that's still 50 people, and even if one 10th of those people try to contact me, that's five people per month attempting to infect me with their toxic, whiny behavior, and that might sound harsh, but I really try to inoculate myself from this mentality. [04:09.0]

The best solution I’ve found so far within my business is limiting my email communication to pretty much only Inner Circle members. These are people who subscribe to my paper-and-ink newsletter. They happily pay for the privilege. One of the perks they get is the ability to ask me questions through email, and I allow them that privilege because they typically do not have victim mentalities. My dream, I'm just going to be real with you right now, is to be surrounded by successful people.

When I check my social media accounts, I want to see success. I want to see people closing deals, making money, raising families, being happy, loving each other, and being healthy. I want that. When I check my email, I want to get emails from financial advisors like, “Hey, James, I doubled my income last year,” or, “Hey, James, my wife has been treating me extra special now because I'm home every night at 5:30 PM.” or, “My kids seem happy now because I'm able to give them what they want. I'm able to provide what they need. I'm able to spend more time with them.” I want that. I want to speak success, hear success, see success. I want to embrace success wherever I go in everything that I do, because I know you get what you focus on, and I want success, and I want that for you. [05:14.5]

Some of you might think that's weird or too extreme, and that's okay. This podcast episode isn't for you, so feel free to turn it off, but successful people will resonate with this. They want good things. They want wealth, health, happiness, abundance in all areas of their lives. They know that having pity parties for themselves, even when bad stuff does happen, won't help. And I'm not saying that bad stuff never happens. Bad stuff happens all the time and there are some things that you truly cannot control.

I'm not claiming that bad stuff doesn't happen or never happens, because it does. We've all had negative events occur in our lives. I've had things happen to me that you wouldn't believe. I don't talk about these things because they don't matter. They don't help my situation or yours, but I’ve been through some stuff. I've seen some stuff. Trust me, I have health issues that I don't talk about. When I see people whine and complain about their health, I want to shake them and I want to say, “You big dummy, you have no idea how lucky you are and how many people would do whatever it takes to be in your shoes.” [06:14.5]

But guess what? I also know that people would do whatever it takes to be in my shoes, so it keeps me humble. The person who's walking wants a bike. The person with a bike wants a car. The person with a car wants a better car, and it just never ends, and that's how I view these things.

I have an extraordinarily low tolerance for people with victim mentalities. Like I said, I try my best to keep them at bay with the newsletter and with some other things that maybe I’ll talk about in another episode, but every so often, someone will squeak through. If you get dealt a bad hand, it sucks. I know, I get it. But your bad hand doesn't give you an excuse to opt out of life. You have to keep going. Refuse to join the “woe is me” pity party.

Also, like I said, there will always be someone who has it worse than you. Here, I’ll play that game with you. People like to one-up each other and talk about how bad they have it. Here, I’ll play that game with you. [07:10.7]

You got divorced? Aw, sorry, at least you were lucky enough to have a spouse. There's a documentary called The Honeymoon Murder where the bride was literally killed on her honeymoon, but, hey, you have it so much worse, right? You got a divorce after 10 years of marriage and eight years of your marriage were happy ones, and you have a great house and you have kids, and you're healthy and you have other things going for you, but, no, I mean, you have it so much worse than the bride that was killed on her honeymoon, right? Yeah, you totally do.

You had a business partner screw you over? Dude, be thankful you had a business, and you still have your skills and you still have your life. You're alive. You have your brain. You have the ability to think. Be grateful. I'll give you a news story that will rock your world. This is a real story. It's from the New York Post. The date on this is November 17, 2022, if you want to look it up. It tells the story of a 2-year-old New York boy dying of starvation after his dad died of heart disease. [08:07.6]

The dad died and the boy couldn't do anything to feed himself or take care of himself, because it was just the two of them. He was dependent on his father, and his father passed away. That's bad. He literally died of starvation. At least there's stuff you can do. The little boy couldn't do anything to avoid starving to death. If you think that he could've done something, then you are screwed up in the head. But, hey, you have it worse, right? Your life is just so much worse than a 2-year-old starving to death and couldn't do anything about it. Yeah, just tell me. Oh, yeah, oh, so woe is.

You get to do stuff. You can choose to change things in your life at any moment. If you're overweight and fatigued all the time, you can change. Nobody dropped down from the sky and made you gain 50 pounds in a day. You did that to yourself, but that's a good thing. That is a good thing. See, I'm an eternal optimist that I think that's a good thing, because it means you can change it. This is also true for your family relationships. It's also true for your bank account. [09:06.0]

Hey, financial advisors. If you'd like even more help building your business, I invite you to subscribe to James' monthly paper-and-ink newsletter, “The James Pollard Inner Circle”. When you join today, you'll get more than $1,000 worth of bonuses, including exclusive interviews that aren't available anywhere else. Head on over to TheAdvisorCoach.com/coaching to learn more.

Look, it amazes me how many financial advisors don't make even $150,000, $200,000 or $250,000. It's astonishing. I have no idea how you can be in business for 10 years or more and still not crack $250,000. I know that's going to get me some nastygrams and people are going to be like, Why is he saying that?

But think about this. You're literally charging thousands of dollars for a service that can be systemized. You're also creating or can create—I don't even want to assume that you're creating them—you can create marketing systems that get these people to set appointments with you without much time involvement on your part. [10:10.6]

I'm not saying that to be mean. If you're just starting out, I get it, it's a grind. It can be tough. I'm not saying you have to make a million dollars overnight. But if you've been stuck for five years, spinning your wheels and doing the same stuff with the same people for the same amount of money, shame on you.

Let me ask you this. Assuming you believe in a higher power, what if that higher power wants you to grow? What if that higher power commanded you, as a human being, to grow and do the best you possibly can with what you have? Are you disappointing your creator if you believe in one? I know that's deep. I know that might upset a lot of people, too, because it exposes them.

You're not going to be here forever. If you're a male in the United States, your life expectancy is 78 years. How much time do you have left? Let's say, you're 50 years old and you're hearing my voice right now. You're 50 years old. You might think, Okay, 78 years is life expectancy. I'm 50. That means, clickety-clack-clack-clack, 28 years left. [11:12.0]

But do you really have 28 years left? Because a third of that is going to be sleeping. That leaves you with 18 years. Then let's assume a fifth of that is going to be spent doing mundane stuff, like eating, showering, going to the bathroom, going to the post office, sitting at red lights, and all the stuff we have to do in our daily lives. You're left with roughly 14.5 years. You thought you had 28. You have 14.5. That's not that much time, and every second you spend complaining is a second you will never get back.

Complaining about my situation has never made it better. I've tried. I've intentionally complained to see if it works. I wanted to see. It does not work. I've conducted that split test for you. And here's another piece of good news. If you can look on the negative side, you can also look on the positive side, because no matter how flat you make a pancake, it is always going to have two sides. [12:07.2]

I think it comes down to people not wanting to take personal responsibility and/or they just don't want to do the work. I'll give you an example from my own life since I had the higher power example when I'm thinking about this. I have read the Bible a few times, but I set a goal last year to really study it and take it seriously.

From August 16, 2022, to December 1, 2022, I spent about five hours per day studying the Bible. That includes reading it, partaking in study groups, seeking out professionals to help me understand it, watching videos, and more. Think about that, five hours per day, and that's average. Some days, I spent more. Some days, I spent less.

The hard truth is that most people wouldn't put that type of dedication into anything, even if their lives depended on it. What would you change, and what would change for you is what I should say, if you put an additional five hours of work per day into your business? I'm talking real work, not sitting in front of the computer, scrolling social media. I mean buckling down and figuring out your social media strategy, your email strategy, and your website marketing strategy. [13:16.3]

Even if you only did it for three or four months, like I did, where I went from August to December, what would change for you? Now, what if you did it for six months? What if you did it for a year? Do you realize that, at any moment, you can make a decision to change your life for the better? You have that power. You have the power to visualize what you want in life and the ability to choose anything, really, to choose what you want, to decide that you're going to have it. The only things separating you from what you want are the actions you will have to take to obtain those things.

I know that the people who are truly victims, the ones who truly have victim mentalities, won't even be helped with this podcast episode at all, because they'll just create more excuses. It's going to go in one ear and out the other, so let me try to help out those of you who I can help. These are the people who may feel the temptation to be victims. Sometimes they fall into that temptation. Sometimes they withstand it. [14:13.6]

Before I end the episode, I want to share this with you. I googled, “Signs you may have a victim mentality” to see what comes up, and here's what I found. You're constantly blaming other people or situations for feeling miserable. Yeah, I see this all the time. It's never the victim's fault. Someone else is always to blame.

The victim doesn't have enough money? Someone else came in and took that money. Maybe the IRS, okay? The IRS comes in and literally takes money. But aside from that, oh, they were forced to go to Starbucks every day. They were forced to live in a house that they couldn't afford. They were forced to drive Lexus, BMW, Tesla, or Mercedes, when they could have driven a Toyota or a Honda, or any other car that wouldn't have cost that much. Someone forced them to have a car in the first place instead of taking public transportation. Eh, it's always someone else's fault. It is, always. It's just so hard. [15:04.1]

Even when things go right, the victim finds things to complain about, and I see this, too. I think it's a defense mechanism. You believe that—and when I say you, I'm reading from the Google search results. These are things that victims do—you believe you're the only one being targeted for mistreatment. Dang, I see this, too. The whole world is out to get a victim.

But, seriously, I want to tell these people, these victims, nobody's thinking about them. Nobody cares. Nobody is waking up in the morning, if your name is Bill, nobody's waking up in the morning and thinking, Oh, how can I make Bill's life harder? No one is thinking about you, Bill.

Another sign of the victim mentality is you tend to one-up people when it comes to sharing traumatic experiences. We talked about this with, unfortunately, the tragic story about the toddler and the honeymoon murder, but have you ever met one of these people? If you say your car broke down, they give an example of how their dog died or whatever. It's weird. It's weird. What is that? What's the psychological mechanism in there? [16:04.6]

Like I said, that's why I tried to give some extreme examples earlier in the show. I wanted to show the victims that I can play the one-up game, too, but please, please feel free. Tell me how your problems are worse than the toddler starving to death because his dad died and couldn't take care of him. Please, one up that one. Tell me how your problems are somehow worse. Hopefully, that gives you a reality check.

Now, people like my wife aren't going to like this because my wife tells me all the time, most people aren't helped by giving extreme examples, but I’ve found that some people are, so, hey, if you're one of those people, you're welcome.

Another sign of being a victim is you don't seek possible solutions to your problems. Oh, don't even get me started on this one. Victims love to complain, but they hate solutions, because if they solve their problems, they wouldn't have their problems to complain about anymore.

Another sign is you have frustration, anger, and resentment. Victims are just angry little people, mad at the world and mad at themselves for not getting results, despite them not seeking solutions or doing anything about their situations to improve their circumstances, whatever they have. [17:09.8]

If you identify with any of those, let me paraphrase or channel Jeff Foxworthy and say, then you … might be a victim. And you might be thinking, James, isn't this the Financial Advisor Marketing show? When are you going to tie this into marketing? My friend, eliminating the victim mentality will go a long way into making you a better business owner and a better marketer. When you take responsibility for yourself, your situation, and everything in your life, then your eyes will be open to all the ways you can grow your business, I guarantee it.

Meditate on what I’ve shared with you. Let it change you. And I will catch you next week. [17:50.2]

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