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  • A natural calming mechanism in you that lets you “turn off” overwhelm and feel more balanced (5:41)
  • Fun ways to fit exercise into your days and feel in control of your body (even if you don’t have time) (6:20)
  • The weird way creating a busy schedule gives you more time for everything else (8:07)
  • A simple practice that helps you to recognize your emotions before you react to them (9:51)
  • How accepting that you have no control over everything makes you feel in charge of your life (15:00)

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up here: https://jillallencoaching.com/just-breathe-sisterhood/

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://jillallencoaching.com/be-fit-and-fierce/ and become unstoppable with us.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Joe Allen. And this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce unlock, an unstoppable mindset, build unbreakable courage, and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week. I will bring ideas, methods, and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit fierce and unstoppable.

(00:34): Hey there, gang. Welcome to find your fears so glad that you are here with me. As we dive into a brand new episode, I'm pretty excited about this one. I think all of us are gonna be able to relay at some level, because if I am being completely honest with you, I love to have control. And I know so many people who are right there with me and I probably shouldn't be so hard on myself when it comes to that, because it comes off as like a negative thing to have, but it's also kind of a good thing. So we're gonna flip it a little bit, but I should rephrase it. Some, I would say that I am a daily work in progress when it comes to forcing things to fit in my timeline or my agenda and all my daily plans. And as much as I like to feel in control of the day, day to day, at the same time, there is so much freedom.

(01:22): When we grab a hold of the concept that we don't have to try and strive to control it all. And so I gotta ask you who are my control freaks listening here today? I know we often joke about it, how we love to control those things and take charge, but are we truly willing to change the way we operate? Because let's be real here. There are only a few things in life that we truly have control over. And so why do we continue to take charge and try to manipulate every single thing to fit our agenda? And as a recovery and obsessor of details, I have a few things that I can share with you to combat the need for control and for you to operate out of a place of rest versus all the stress and all the anxiety that comes along with it.

(02:10): And I bet I can, I, I can bet that you are thinking today's chat is actually gonna be about all the things that we can let go of, but it's not, uh, because we like control. We are actually going to focus on the controllable and how does that sound for you? And I know I'm fired up about it. It can be, uh, it's a good thing. It could be game changing. If we choose to do these few things that I'm about to share with you, but before we go any further, I have to say that I love that you are here listening in and spending time with us. So honored that I get to be a part of your day. You are just so amazing. And I have to thank you for all your love and support as always. I appreciate your feedback, your reviews, and I love that you share this podcast and the set free message with your friends and family.

(02:55): So if you can keep on doing that, that would be pretty incredible because you are helping, uh, this movement as it helps reach more women and it impacts more lives. And that is certainly what life is all about. So thank you so much. Are you guys ready to dive in? Are you ready right now? It may feel like everything is out of our control. Think about it across the nation. The gas prices are through the roof. The inflation that is impacting everyday life, the drug addiction, the crime rates and mass shootings are at its highest level ever. There's open borders. There's war there's division amongst our country. When it comes to politics and religion, healthcare, you name it, it's there. And nobody can really predict what is going to happen in these upcoming months or years as everyone has their own theories and their own opinions and thoughts, beliefs.

(03:49): And that can be incredibly unsettling for a lot of people, especially for those who like to have control, but there are things that we can control in our life right now. And so I want you to get your journal out. I want you to take notes and, and I wanna like, let's get rolling on these. Okay. Cuz it's time to flip the script. I'm gonna go down through some of the things that I've jotted down of what it is that we can control right now in this moment today. And number one, it's probably the most critical piece of all of it is our mindset. If we don't control our mind, someone else will. And so let's pause on that for a moment. There is so much truth in that. I mean, we get to choose what we focus on moment to moment. We get to decide whether we focus on the negatives, all the things that are not going right in our lives, in the world, all the news media and, and all the things that can easily bring us down, or we can find the positives in our situation, you or your loved ones may all be healthy.

(04:49): Maybe you had a good night's rest or you know, your career you love, or the projects that you work are working on of, of family to love as, and people that you get to spend time with. I mean, we could choose to be happy, choose to love over hate, choose to find the way we show up in the day that the joy we could choose each and every moment to look at things with this fresh perspective that will shift the atmosphere, even if, or even when you know what and who we are allowing into our head space, that will impact our thoughts, which will ultimately will determine the words we speak. The actions we take, which will again, ultimately dictate our reality, which kind of leads me to number two, how mindful we are to control our life, control our mind, to control our mind.

(05:41): We need to control our breath. I mean, we've been gifted. We've been gifted with the most natural calming mechanism and it's our breath. And yes, we can control our own breathing, which naturally calms us down and helps us relax. Just breathe. I didn't just create our, just breathe sisterhood on a whim. There is something to just breathing. It helps us focus on the present moment, which can keep us from projecting or believing that everything is catastrophic. Creating anxiety, simply commit simply to choose to pause for breath or two before responding to any situation. Number three, we can control our physical activity. We can control how much we move our body or not move. We can set the alarm in the morning or not. We can get up and train or not. You know, if getting to the gym is a tough one for you, then understand that it's an opportunity to discover new ways to move your body, right, or for personal growth to stretch, to get outside your comfort zone.

(06:44): Maybe you can go for a walk, a run, a hike, or a bike ride. Even better ask a friend to join you. Maybe you wanna like to work out at home or you don't have time to drive to the gym. You could do a lift, uh, with the fit and fierce workout. You could do that with me or gang. You know, we do live 20 minute sessions or, you know, you can even catch the replays that fit around your day. If you have kids right, encourage them to join you. I mean, they may not be able to do every exercise, but they'll move. And then staying active keeps our entire body and family healthy. And so it's a good thing. So at the end of the day, we have the ultimate control of how much we move and take care of our bodies. And so are you wanting to take that control back?

(07:24): And I know you want to, because I know you love control so quick, given that power away. What about our meals? Of course, I'm gonna throw this in there, right? Being a fitness and health coach meal planning meal prep, it can happen. Whether we're eating lunch at our office desk or our kitchen table, we can map out our dinner plans. We can spend an hour each week to prep our snacks stock up on the healthy food options for the week at the grocery. We can set the alarm to actually eat. As I know so many of us just skip a meal or two, we can control what food we put in our mouth. We can control how much water we drink each day. Our portion sizes, how much protein we get in the veggies, the fruit. I mean, do you realize the amount of control we truly have when it comes to our food?

(08:07): So grab a hold of that and use our need to control to, and for our advantage. Number five, our schedule, where and how do you spend your time? How do you invest your time? Do you spend time on drainable or on things that bring life? Take note on how you spend your time? How much is wasted? How much time do you spend on social media, Netflix, TikTok, things that produce. Do you have a routine get up at the same time, every weekday schedule the workouts or daily devotion or journal time. Do you make dates with friends and, and establish that routine? And I know it may take a little time to adjust since this is all new, but a schedule provides a sense of consistency. And I know this sounds crazy, but have you ever made, uh, a to-do list and put down things that you already rocked out?

(09:02): Just so you can check them off guys? It's because we like to celebrate wins. We like to feel productive. So I encourage you to include at least one thing a day that, you know, you will check off your to-do list. I mean, it could be as simple as making your bed, but this is gonna give you a sense of accomplishment and a mental boost to begin that daily routine or, or to flip some habits in your life. Number six, our emotions, this is a big one. I mean, we can control our reaction or our response to situations. So what are you giving permission to? If I'm reacting to situations, it's a sign that I need to do a self check. So what am I thinking? What do I need to learn? And remember here, whatever we feel right now. I mean, it's, it's perfectly reasonable to feel that way.

(09:51): I, I, we can justify it all, but recognizing your emotions and naming them can actually help validate them. And so we can control how we interpret things. We can never control or change how others think, feel, or act, but we can change how we think, feel and act. And we can lead by example. So how do we do that? Do you stop and pray first? Do you seek him first? You know, I, I get it talking to people you trust is great. It's encouraged as you may learn that you're not the only one that feels that way and it can help manage stress and anxiety. But there's something about praying about it. First that changes everything and it will help get our emotions in check as our emotions have impact on others. So we need to stop to consider how we feel, how others may feel before we speak before we respond.

(10:40): And if we can choose to allow the Lord to guide our next move as to whether or not we should change our tone or simply stay quiet when we're wrestling with our emotions. I think that's the first step. Don't you love that? Like, we can control how much we laugh or cry or share our emotions each day. This is so good. So good. Number seven, our effort. I'm a big believer that we can control our effort, how we show up each day and whether or not we give a hundred percent. I get it. There are days we just don't wanna work or put forth effort. We wanna binge on Netflix. We wanna take it easy on a project, whatever it may be, but how do you wanna operate? I mean, it's okay if we're not our best or perfect, or if we need a day to, to take a break and rest, but working hard, diligently, taking pride in how we spend our time, how we show up in the world.

(11:34): It means a lot. What about the effort we put toward our faith? Our relationship with the Lord, with family, our spouse, kids, friends, the effort we put toward our home, our careers, the little day to day moments. What kind of effort do you give? Number eight? How about our social life? How many times have you and a friend said they need to catch up or that we need to grab a cup of coffee or let's get together. But nothing gets planned days, months, or years go by. And the same goes for family, right? Family reunion, social times, family and friendships. Guys are key for mental health. So plan the days and moments with the people you care about, schedule them. Don't just say it, schedule it. Control who you spend your time with. And I get it. We're all busy. Days are full. Schedules are crazy, but we are ultimately the ones that can control how we spend our time.

(12:30): So I encourage you today. Pick up the phone, call someone that you have been thinking of. Schedule the lunch day, spend time with someone you love. You are not too busy. Nine where we get our news. We can control what we put into our minds. What we read, what we listen to, who we listen to. And unfortunately there's a lot of misinformation and one-sided stories out there when it comes to about everything. And it could be a little crazy. It could be overwhelming. To be honest, I love, uh, it's called smarter news. It's S M a R T. And then it has H E R smarter news. I love it. It's on Instagram. It's unbiased, right? Facts to the point. Uh, I encourage you to go follow her, but I'm also one that likes to turn the news off. I mean, it is, it's amazing how much better I feel when I don't get caught up in the nonsense in all the noise.

(13:21): And so do you need a digital detox? Do you need to shut the news off to take a break from social media, the TV, or do you need to change the way we respond to all that noise? Think about it. Something to think about, and then number 10, how we treat others. This is a biggie for me. I mean, these last few years have gone one or two ways. You know, when things get crazy and the worst of times that, you know, they can bring out the worst in others. And, uh, we're all outta sorts lately, but that's no reason to have road rage or yell at clerks or behave in ways that you want it normally. So at the same time, think about this. On the flip side, I have seen so much good, which kind of goes back to number one, right? Control your mind, what you choose to focus on.

(14:08): And I still see so much good. There are really nice people in this world doing really nice things, and we can be a part of that. We can control how we treat others. We can aim to be the nicest person, someone encounters today. We can show someone love even to those who don't deserve it. We can be the difference. We can control how many compliments we give to others. How many hugs, how many smiles, how many pat on the backs? I mean, we can control whether we speak life or death, whether or not we speak truth. And I'm gonna leave you with this here today. Incredible change happens in our life. When we decide to take control of what we do have power over instead of craving over what we, don't, why worry about things that we can't control when we can keep ourselves busy, controlling the things that depend on you and me, life is hard.

(15:00): I get it. Even in my own life. There are things that I wish I could control or people that I wish I could control lately. I've been trying to let go because after a while, stressing over the things that you can't control will make you go insane and it will almost always lead to disappointment. So there's no sense in worrying about the things that we can't control, because well, we have no control over them. Instead of stressing about the things out of our control. I encourage you to take power of your life and consider all the things that you do and can control. So if you're wanting more fire in your day, there's so much for you to do so. You can follow me on Instagram snag, a copy of my book, set free on Amazon, join us in the fit and fierce, or the flip, the script one on one nutrition coaching and the next retreat.

(15:46): We just spent a, an amazing few days at glacier. And we're currently in Alaska right now. The Dolly sod's wilderness for a 30 mile backpacking mission is coming up and St. Thomas this fall. So we've been all over the place on epic adventures that allow us to step outside our comfort zone. So be sure to go back to Jill Allen, coaching.com for all updates and join the just brief Facebook group. We would love to connect with you there coming up on the next episode, talking about the power of life lessons. So be sure to pop back in next week. Thanks so much for joining us today. And I pray that we filled your heart with joy. And if you could let us know before hopping off here today, that would be incredible. Subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media, if you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time, be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable. See ya.

(16:43): This is The Podcast Factory.com.

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