Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
(00:37): You are going to love today's guest. If you are feeling stuck or stranded, she is going to help us out so much. But first I have to say that we love that you are here listening in and spending time with us. You are all so amazing. And I have to thank you for your love and support as always. And I appreciate your feedback, your reviews, and the love that you share when it comes to this podcast and my new book set free with your friends and family. And if you could keep on doing that, it helps reach more women and it impacts more lives. And that is certainly what life is all about. So thank you again for being with us each week. So let me tell you about Stacy Stacy. Chrishell a small business growth coach, which literally began from her parents' backyard. She is an author podcast host of the top ranked foot traffic podcast, and she is a huge proponent of productivity in mindset. And I have a feeling she is going to share with us some strategies to help us get on stuck. Let's welcome, Stacy, how are you, girl?
(01:31): Hi, Jill. Thanks for being there. Thanks for having me. I should say, No, this is awesome. This, I know that we are going to connect with so many women, as I know that we're all looking for ways to balance it all and get through all this overwhelm and the stress and the anxiety. So kind of let's dive into this and start with the difference between busy and being productive, because I think we all have like a busy-ness addiction. We do,
(01:57): Because it really is the norm. And then it becomes bragging rights sometime of like, oh, how are you? You must be so busy. Oh, I am and so much going on with the kids and work. And we start to brag about how busy we are, right? So it's, it's really just this new mentality of what became normal. Like we allowed this to become normal. And I think when we're talking about being busy and being productive, the difference is yes, you might be putting in all this time and energy, but the question is what are you getting out of it? And when you're productive, there's an outcome. And when you're busy, there's not necessarily an outcome. So I think that's the biggest thing to ask yourself. It's not what you put in, it's what you get out. And then you'll start to see, am I as productive as I'm thinking productivity, think about the word it means to produce.
(02:52): That's a good way to flip it. We're all about flipping the script here. And I think you just did that. Whether you knew it or not, we just, yeah. We've flipped that script. And it's almost like we're on this treadmill to nowhere when it comes to busy and then we lose ourselves and we just kind of hop in onto survival mode and it, it can be overwhelming. It can, it can stress people out. So I'm assuming that you have some systems, I'm a system girl too. So have you always, you know, do you have a system? Yeah.
(03:22): And were you going to say, have I always been like organized systematized? You always been that way or, you know, I think a lot of times when people get good at something, it's because they weren't happy with what they were doing before. Right. So a lot of the things that I'm good at now, it was more because I needed to figure this out. I needed to make sure that I needed to fix what was going on. Right. It's becoming the norm to be busy, like we talked about, but that doesn't mean you're happy with the norm. You might not be happy with the way that your life looks right now. If we went back and looked at the last two weeks of your calendar, a lot of people listening are going to say, no, I wish I could have done it differently. Right. So I think for me, it's starting to really be intentional with, again, what, what is the outcome I'm shooting for?
(04:07): And then what are the actions I need to take to really start to get closer to the outcomes that I'm thinking of. So every time I think this might be Wayne Dyer, and I hope I'm not quoting somebody else, but I think it's Wayne Dyer that talks about like every action you take or every choice you make is giving you the results you have today. So hearing that, like, if I want to, I'm pretty healthy. If I want to go into my refrigerator, open it up and I see some ice cream or I see something that maybe isn't the best thing for me when I can say to myself like that, I can take it, but this decision will be part of the outcome of what I get. So if I'm unhappy with my weight, if I'm unhappy with my job, if I'm unhappy with my relationship, every single decision I make is either adding to it or taking it away from it. You
(04:55): Got to love free will. Yeah, that is. And I love that. You said that it's a decision. It reminds me of, and we talked about this in my coaching group the other day, actually the slight edge, you know, whether it's positive or negative and again, which direction are you going? I mean, we have the ability to choose one way or the other, but it's almost sometimes the things that we do don't do that can read it to another direction,
(05:21): Want to say yes, we want to be like, we want to make people feel good. We want people to think we're nice. Right? So we say yes so many times and it's okay to say I'd love to, but I can't right now, or I'd love to, but not until September or Jill. Yes, let's do this. But unfortunately I'm not even free until, and then you start to give people. Sometimes people say, well, the only time they could interview me was this day or this time. And it's like, yes, but you can also say any chance we could make it work at this time or any chance we could do it. But six months from now, things get a little lighter. Or when my baby is only six months old versus six weeks old. Right. You have the opportunity to ask what's the worst. Somebody can say no, that doesn't work for me. Okay. Now let's talk, let's figure this out
(06:10): And be okay with it without the shame and the guilt or explanations or feeling the need to explain why you can't do something, Does the right person will not be offended. Right? The right person is going to respect you and think, and I should do that more often. Right. I one time asked my friend, I'm like, Hey, I'd love to have you come in and speak to my mastermind on this topic because you're so good at it. She's a really good friend. And she responded and said, I'd love to however, the only topics that I'm currently speaking on right now, or X, Y, Z, and if they can't be done in a 30 minute increment on a Thursday afternoon at this time, I can't do it. And I didn't think like, oh, come on, like, you're my friend. You should say yes, this. I was like, Ooh, I'm stealing this. Like, I'm going to swipe this little paragraph. She has sent me back and I'm going to put this more into play. Right. The right person is saying, I want that too. And yes, you should be able to put boundaries into place.
(07:08): Oh gosh. I do love it. I think I'm going to steal it. That is really, really good. Let's talk a little bit about your book and you know, I know it's titled implementation code, unlock the secret to getting it all done. I absolutely love the title hook line and sinker. I mean, is there just one code for everyone?
(07:28): Absolutely not. There is no way it could be because we're all wired so differently. So the way that my brain works, the way that I'm type a and systematized and all of that is great for the person who's like me. But if you, if you aren't like me, if we're polar opposites, there's no way that my strategy will work for you. Right. I'm very easy to say yes or no to something you can convince me fast, or I can convince myself no way very quickly. So the way that I make decisions is just much faster than somebody who takes a little bit of time, does their research. Right? Sometimes I wish I was the research girl and I could spend a month to think about something at the end of the fence. I just don't even know how to do that. Right. So I think we have to understand that we are uniquely wired.
(08:13): One way is not better than the other. Right. I may look at myself and I'm a very fast action taker, but I have very successful friends who are very slow and slow and steady. And they'd been, you know, little by little snailing it in their business, but they're as successful and sometimes more successful than me. So I can't look at myself and say, oh, it must be done this way. It's more of this awareness of who you are and then figuring out what does work for you. Right? And then you start to basically put that into place.
(08:44): It usually all does come down to self-awareness. Yeah, Definitely. It's one of the biggest skillsets. I think you need as a high performer. Like that's what I think high performers have in their back pocket is they are so aware of their strengths and weaknesses. So they're constantly getting better. You look at them and you think, how are they doing this? And it's because they're assessing, well, that's not my sweet spot. Shouldn't be doing that. And they removed off their plate. Or they think, while this really lights me up, or this is where I start to see results, or this is what I'm good at. And they just lean into
(09:15): It. And that probably comes down with everything. Whether it's the business, the relationships being a mom. And let's talk a little bit about that. You know, you know, you have two kiddos. Yes. You know, what systems or what's your strategy, you know, as a family to kind of have your household run smoothly because of course we all want it all. We do it all. But the stress and anxiety and the happiness and the peace gets stolen. Absolutely. So how do you make your family run? Yes.
(09:47): So I there's this phrase or quote, like how you do anything is how you do everything, right? The way that you show up, the way that you pick up the kids from school or drop them off. Are you on time? Are you late? Are you like, what is your personality? It's the way you do anything, whether that's in your career, in your personal life, right. Do you respect people's time? Do you not even think about it as their time? Do you just show up on your time? Like, what are you doing? So again, self-awareness, let's just bring that back. Right. But for me, it's not like, oh, I run my business this way. And then personally I do this, this, I run everything. Like I do anything. So I am very systematized. Everything is on the calendar. Everything is written down. There's nothing in my head.
(10:29): We have rhythms and routines and checklists. So even on a Sunday off of work, right. Not working, but we pull out the Sunday checklist and it'll say things like water plants, get the kids activity bags ready for the week. My one daughter is the opposite of me. She takes forever to pick out her outfits. She is required to pick out every single outfit Sunday night. Now my other one they're like, wait a minute. Why does Tega not have to do that because Teagan can make up her mind in seven seconds, what she's wearing today. So she doesn't have to do that. You, on the other hand, you like to think about it. So you're going to go spend an hour right now in your room,
(11:05): Different systems and different codes. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm even teaching my children. We are all wired differently. So we will need to do things differently. Right. So can Ken Teagan go do that if she wants to? Absolutely. But she doesn't have to. Right. So we have checklists, we have systems and we literally treat our personal life no different than I treat my business of having the daily routines, the projects that we're working on, all of that. So again, maybe you're not a systems person, maybe you're not a checklist person. But what I will say is children are checklists and routine. They are naturally wired to love a routine. So the fact that we have a Sunday routine or a morning routine, or an evening routine that saves moms so much time. Cause they they'll just look in their bathroom on their mirror. They have this checklist and it's, it's got pictures. So my little one is only five. So she sees the toothbrush, she sees the hairbrush. She sees, make sure you have your outfit on, you know, things like go eat breakfast. So before she's asking to go watch YouTube or do whatever she wants to do, she knows she's got to finish that checklist. So for me, if I don't get my personal life running smoothly, it will affect me in my business for
(12:13): Sure. Oh yeah. I mean, if you're running behind or crazy or just something shipped okay. Or stressed, You know, if I'm so stressed in the morning because no one's doing, they're supposed to be doing, I kick off my morning by being stressed and overwhelmed. And then how do I show up for my team?
(12:30): Yeah. Barely hanging on scatterbrain, you know? So let's kind of talk a little bit about resourcefulness and how it relates to getting things done. My instant thought right now it was like, okay, delegation like delegation, but I don't even know what you're going to talk about. Well,
(12:47) We can go there too. So resourcefulness, I actually w I, my brain first goes to within, well, we can definitely go to delegation. So first with resourcefulness, where what I was going to say, what's, to me, it's about first, let me even backtrack. I think we expect things to be way too easy. Like I grew up in a family construction business. They worked from sunup to sundown. I don't have a lot of stories about my dad and my grandpa growing up because they worked seven days a week. Like they were just in it. And I grew up with a really strong work ethic. And now when I look at certain people, I can tell my lifestyle growing up was very different than maybe their lifestyle was. And I think a lot of times we just expect things to be easy. We expect, and I have to work for it.
(13:36): We expect for instant results. We expect to lose the weight immediately, even though we've been, you know, putting it on for the last 20 years, we expect it to be off by next week. You know, we want that instant gratification. And to me, resourcefulness is how bad do you want it? And what will you do to figure it out? So maybe you've tried seven diets and they're not working, but you don't say, oh, diets don't work for me. You say, well, what could I do? What should I do? There's still something out there. I just haven't found it yet. So it's really understanding the answer is still out there. You just haven't found it. And the people that are successful in any aspect of their life, they're just, they're either, they've either found it or they're still on a mission to find it. And that's how you get success in any of those areas.
(14:24): Yeah. For B to be able to break through and just not quit. I mean, perseverance for sure. You know, the reason I was saying delegate is because I think so many women who are highly driven, they're ones that, and I'm probably speaking to myself, but you know, you want to do it all control. Let me, let me just take care of it. And we sometimes don't want to ask for help. You know, it's like, man, I need to help. You know? Or like, I wish I had more hands, but yet, you know, we have, we have five kids. It's like, well, I have 10 arms right there that could help me for sure. You know? And so that's what I instantly thought about the delegation is like, okay, it's okay. As highly driven women to ask for help and to free up that time and space and empower other people too. So yeah. Well
(15:12): And 100% I, when somebody says to me, how do you get it all done? The first thing I say is, you do realize I have 50 employees in the one business and about 15 in the other. And I am no stranger to say, like, we do have somebody that cleans the house, the helps cleans the house. And we do have somebody that, you know, does some of our landscaping, like we, we pay and we outsourced to other small business owners to help us as we run our small business. And I don't think there needs to be shame in that. Right. I don't think I it's sad that there is that people are like, who am I do? We, we can't tell people that we have somebody that does this for us or that for us, or when really in fact you're doing something great for your community.
(15:52): You're, you're literally helping some of these small business owners thrive. Right. Especially through the time we are in now. So I think there's two ways to be thinking outsourcing one is actually paying and hiring people like you just mentioned. Right? The other is when you have children, when you have a spouse, a significant other, a mother, a mother-in-law right. It's okay to ask people, you know, your neighbor, right. It's okay to say, listen, I'm going to be running late today. Is there any way you could pick up my kids from school? Like that would be so helpful. Right? We are so embarrassed or ashamed to ask other people to
(16:29): No, you're exactly right. I mean, it's basically admitting, like I can't do it all correct. You know, and I think we can do everything or do it all. We just can't do everything and you know, that's capable of it for sure. But do you really want to do every single task in your personal and professional life? Just you, that sounds miserable and exhausting and like who's good at everything.
(16:53): Right. Well, it kind of goes back and circles back into the productivity too, because time is so precious, you know? And how do we want to spend our time? And can we be more productive over here if I outsource and vice versa? So that's something to think about too, when people are trying to reflect on their day and how they live their life
(17:12): For me too. Sometimes when I'm trying to get my time back, I also have to realize that investing in my children when I could very easily do their laundry for them, but I want them to put it in the laundry basket, drag it to the mudroom, put it in. It takes seven times as long, but at the same time when they're in high school or whenever, whatever age they're going to be at, I am not going to be a part of this at all. Right. I mean, I'm, I'm not just could I afford to hire everything out of my entire house. Yes. I could literally afford to hire all of the people, but at the same time, I want to raise healthy, responsible, reliable adults. And I can't, I don't want to outsource everything in my home and not give them a taste of what it's like. Like one of my proudest moments that I just share with you is I grew up with a phenomenal work ethic and I don't want to raise kids that never lift a finger until they're in college.
(18:04): I hear ya. Well, and they won't know how to, they won't know how don't be back at home with us until they're 30. So well, what are three helpful productivity tools that you can suggest that you can help, you know, show up in your day as a powerhouse?
(18:23): Well, I think number one, if you are not using a calendar system and that if you're not sharing it with your significant other spouse, somebody that like, if you need to take team or know what's going on I don't ever have to say to my husband, who's getting the kids, who's taking them to the dentist. Who's we have everything on the calendar. And when we put it on the calendar, we already know like, who is responsible for what? So finding rhythms and routines, where you have certain responsibilities or you take ownership for that. So for instance, my husband takes the kids to school. I pick them up. We never have to have a conversation of who's getting the kids today. It's always you take them and I'll pick them up unless something pops up, which is more rare, right? He is responsible for taking out the garbage every Tuesday.
(19:10): Like I never taken out the garbage because it's just not something that I specifically do. But I have other things that I do maybe with the kids or with the house in general, that he doesn't do either. Like I am the one that pays all the bills. He does nothing with the bills. Right. So I think there are definitely, it's making smoother. Transitions is first who is in charge of what? And, and making it up together. You don't want to be, this can be as a woman who is a high achiever, who is multiple businesses. Who's used to being in charge. I also don't want to be like, and you're going to do this and you're going to do that. And you're going to, it's kind of like, let's sit down and let's discuss, what do you like to do? What do I like to do?
(19:49): What are you good at? And what am I not good at? Right. And then they come up together with the agreement of where you're going to spend your time and energy. Then having that calendar where you can now start to get on the same page and understand like, where are these things going? I think so many times people are overwhelmed because like things sneak up on you. Right. You're you're going, oh shoot. We don't have groceries again. Right. Ah, well, for us, first of all, we are on a rhythm of groceries. Like we, there are certain days we order online grocery shopping that they come, that we decide what we're, what we're eating on Sunday evening for the rest of the week. Right? So by putting in these systems in place and these rhythms and routines in place, there's less conversations of who's dropped the ball here.
(20:31): There's last, what are we doing for dinner? What, when are you going to the grocery store? Right. So what are the rhythms routines you can put into place that, that is really helpful. And really, again, I think those checklists and lists, so when you, all of a sudden you're out of paper towel or you're out, or you're, we just got a summer school list for their shopping supplies. Right. Well, where are you keeping that information? Where are you storing that? Are you just, you got it in an email and now it's sitting in your email for me. I immediately printed it out and I put it on the counter right. By our grocery list. Right. It's just like those little things that would be game changers.
(21:08): Oh yeah, for sure. It wouldn't. We have to slow down to speed up. And I think, you know, throwing in these schedules even more, because I know our calendar is completely full of everybody's schedules, but we have to stay down with you and five children. I can't even fathom what your calendar looks like. Oh yeah. I, yeah.
(21:28): So it's like every time the season begins, it's like, I don't even want to sit down and put it in, but you have to, again, to find that just that calmness holding it down is being intentional of like, Jill, what do you want your family to look like? What do you want your evenings and weekends to look like? And there is no shame if your kids are on all the club sports and they're doing something six nights a week, or you are the family that limits your children to one activity a week. And that's what you do. We get to decide what we want this to look like, where it becomes a problem is when you don't have an intention or an idea in mind and you end up being the club mom six nights a week and you don't even want that. That's when it's a problem. Oh
(22:12): Yeah. Well, and it gets too busy too. I mean, this is a big one for me. It's like families need vacations. They need, they need that downtime. They need, whether it's backyard camping in a tent or down at the beach or whatever. And I think we allow other things to dominate our schedule, where again, we need to put that script and we are in charge of what we put down on that calendar.
(22:38): Absolutely. We just need time to be together. And I, I, we are a big, big, I love vacations. That's my love language. So I am very intentional about those vacations and when we spend our time, but it really is just like, even if it's a staycation or a weekend at your home, but no one's allowed to do anything or go anywhere and you're just hanging out together. We need that time to be together. Absolutely.
(22:59): No, it, it is priceless. So let you know, I just have one more question, you know, for those that are feeling overwhelmed by their to-do list, what do they need to do? What's one thing that they need to do now,
(23:14): Biggest thing you could do is understand that it'll never go away and you'll never have zero things on that list. Right? We are, they people ask me like, I just need to tackle this to-do list. How can I get through it faster? How can I like, how do I get it to zero? Never, you will never get it to zero. I mean, if you, if you are in a career, if you are a stay-at-home mom, if you are running your own business, there's nothing I could say to, I can't even find a person who I would say, no, we could get, we could get it done. Right. I mean, you're a human, like you were always going to have needs and things that are added to this list. So understanding that you will never walk away with it being zero that's step number one, because now when you have the expectation of, oh, this is normal, like people will say to me, like, how are you not overwhelmed with your life? Like, you have so much going on how many, how you're not overwhelmed. And like, because I just shut it off when it's time to shut it off. And then
(24:04): You probably have the ability to just shut it down. Yes. Now I don't have the ability to like turn off my brain and say, don't think about your business. But when I think about my business and it is time, I will say, let's do this later. And I might write a note for myself. So I don't forget what I want to do, but I, I do catch myself going, why am I worrying about this now? Why am I talking about this with my husband right now? Like this should be something later when it's business time and not personal time. So it's not that I don't have the worry, the overwhelmed of this, that it's just, I'm trying to get better at how I feel about it, which makes me less stressed and less overwhelmed.
(24:41): Yeah. It's the perspective. And what's in our heart and how we can actually take a breath. I always speak about, can we actually take a big, huge, deep breath in and exhale. And as we go through, as we go through life, where can they find your book? Where can you and all that good stuff and the wisdom that you just shared today. Perfect.
(25:02): Well, thank you, Jill. So my book right now is still free. You just pay for the shipping and we'll send it right to you. You can go to implementation code that code for it slash free book. You'll find it there. If you happen to be a business owner. I have a podcast called foot traffic. All business marketing will sprinkle in some work life balance stuff, but it's definitely for the small business owner. And then I would say Instagram is like my best place where I share personal behind the scenes, that kind of stuff. And I'm at Stacey Tisha. Okay.
(25:31): That is awesome. I love that you are here and just so glad that you were with us today. Thank you so much. And ladies, of course, I want to remind you that my book set free is that woman's guide to freedom from confusion and control and worry, fear and stress by letting go and saying yes to God's endless love. And so if you're looking to find that peace and the calm in the middle of chaos, those that are looking to find their own personal freedom, women who are looking for a way out, anyone who has any kind of struggle, whether it's physical, emotional, or spiritual, this book, and the message that God shared with me is to give hope and healing. So it is now available on Amazon, check it out and join us for the set free book club. As we walk through the journey together, you can find that link on Jill Allen, coaching.com or the just brief Facebook group
(26:12): Heads up on the next episode, we are going to dive in to our God-given potential and assess whether or not we are living up to it. So be sure to check that out. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media, if you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk to you next time, beef it be fierce. Be unstoppable. Yeah.
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