Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How “Squirrel Syndrome” disrupts your calmness and overloads you with overwhelm (and how to regain your peace) (1:56) 
  • Why wearing a “Mask of Perfection” drowns you in a sea of unnecessary shame and guilt (3:45) 
  • The insidious way social media secretly steals your sanity (4:01) 
  • How to prevent your chaotic schedule from swallowing you whole (5:09) 
  • 3 simple ways to slow down your heart and mind when you’re riddled with anxiety (9:22) 

If you’d like a sneak peek at my soon-to-be-released book, Set Free: A Woman’s Guide to Clarity, Freedom, & God’s Endless Love, you can download the first 5 pages here: jillallencoaching.com

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up, click on the just breathe link at jillallencoaching.com

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to the Fit & Fierce link at jillallencoaching.com and become unstoppable with us. 

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:36): Hey there, gang. Welcome to find your fierce. Love that you're with us once again, or if it's your first time joining us, I welcome you either way. We're just glad that you are here today, but before diving in, I got to thank you for your love and support and appreciate all your feedback, your reviews. And I love that you share this podcast with your friends and family, and if you can keep on doing that, it helps reach more women and impacts more lives, and it's certainly a team effort. So thank you so very much for all that you do for who you are and for listening in each week. I also want to ask you, how are you doing? Like for real, how are you, maybe you're in the car right now doing a load of laundry or out for a walk or cooking dinner.

(01:15): You just hit play wherever you are. Let's be real with each other. It's just you and me here. Take the mask off. Be honest with yourself because I have to be honest with you. These last few days were trying to take me back to a time about four years ago. And it was a time that I didn't want to go back to I, I, and I even shouldn't even say time. It's more of that feeling when I was operating out of survival mode versus operating out of a place of peace and calm. And I felt myself getting sucked back into this, go go, go mentality. And it's crazy because our body actually warns us through the way that we move or not move the way that we talk, or maybe we become quiet. The thoughts that creep in the stress, the overwhelm, the feeling like we're on, you know, that we're barely hanging on by a thread or we're on this treadmill going 90 miles an hour to nowhere.

(02:07): And I always call it squirrel syndrome where you're here and then there and your mind's racing. And then you end up dropping the ball a little bit more frequently than normal. And I just want to share with you these past five days and I kid you not guys since Friday, it's Wednesday. Right now, I record on Wednesdays, but I kid you not. We have had 10 baseball games, two track meets eight basketball games. Our baby turned 11 there's book release deadlines. We have a greenhouse. So it's right now. So it is a busy time of year. It's pretty much go time. My husband is non-existent during this time during the season. So we got to add that in there. Podcast recordings, coaching calls. I mean, I know we can go on and on. Actually I think I might, I think I might, we have dinners.

(02:54): We have school doctor's appointments, you know, kids not going to school because of state and the all the late starts and all the schedules are jacked up. I know our schedule is chaos. There is actually no set schedule, to be honest. And we get home late at night, right? And then the teenage boys ask what's for dinner mom. And I'm telling them, go have some rice Krispies and you can even splurge. You can have chocolate milk or you can have white milk on it. It doesn't matter. It's your choice have fun. We did have chicken one night this week. I even made lasagna. So it's not all that bad. There are some nights that are like that. We give her some, you know, we give ourselves some grace. They don't have cereal every night, but we do have crockpot dinners. That's one of their faves.

(03:34): I get the eye rolls on that as well, but I can bet you have your own chaos. Your days are full, just as busy where you're barely keeping up. And so why is it that we believe a lie that we are to have it altogether, where we pick up this mask of perfection, the mask I have to do it all achieve at all the mask of, I got to have it all under control. The mask of striving, pushing. I felt the why that everyone's life is perfect, but yours, when we see everyone all over social media posting their highlight reel, it's gotta be real, right? So we hide and we keep everything to ourself. The shame, the guilt, we beat ourselves up for not holding it all together. Unfortunately, the truth is rarely ever told. And so, because of that, that's why I want to flip the script today.

(04:30): I'm here to tell you that no one and I mean, no one has it all together. And we fall into this trap of, I gotta keep up. I have to do it all while we're secretly losing our sanity and peace in the process. And so that's why I asked you, how are you truly doing it's okay. Not to be okay. You say you're fine, but no, it's okay if you're not fine. And I encourage you to give yourself some grace. Like I mentioned this week, I felt myself going back to when I was going in every direction. We want to hear that story catch the earlier podcast episodes, we dive into so much, so hit the replays. It's so good, but know that a lot of this stuff like our schedules and the things that we set out for the day, it doesn't really change much.

(05:18): However, the way that we feel wildlife is being life or the way that we operate in the midst of chaos, that can actually change. Let me tell you this funny story. I mentioned that our body gives us clues that we may be losing it or that there's time that we need, I need a reality check or a moment of truth or a moment of rest. Right? So my son went to go get his temps. I guess I'm actually going to tell you, because I'm going to actually tell you the long story here. Okay. So just roll with it. And here we are getting his temps and it was time for the eye exam. And so he, he's looking into this little thing, right. To get his license. And the guy said, go look on line four, re read those, read those letters. Okay. Now notice, I mean, I think they're letters. I don't even think they're numbers, but he two, two,

(06:13): Well, the guy, he said one more too, by the way. But the guy behind the counter was looking at us and we're like, Ooh, man, he's off. Like, there's no way. Okay. So he said, I'm going to pass you today. I'm going to pass you today. But when you come back in six months to get your final license, I'm probably not going to pass you unless something changes. Okay. So it was time for the eye exam. We had to take him to a doctor. So we think the BMV for letting us know that he needed his eyes checked. So we take him to go get his eyes checked. We, he has to get glasses. And today actually like today, today was actually the day to have them fitted. Okay. So remember these last five days that have been a little bit off with the 50 million activities and schedules and the chaos in our schedule, it was a little bit hairy.

(07:05): And talk about truth. Talk about a wake up moment. I went to the appointment with my Lulu lemon workout pants. Now I got to tell you my Lulu lemon pants. I only have one of them and I got them on clearance. No joke. 10 years ago, I had those pants on one of my favorites inside out. Talk about a moment of truth. That doesn't, it didn't matter if I had any mascot. It didn't matter what mask I had on. It didn't matter if I had the, I got it all under control mask on, or the perfection mask on there was no hiding. The fact that my pants were inside out in public and I was rocking them. I felt like I was rocking them like a beast. Okay. And it was a moment where I was being told to get in check that I needed to just breathe, to be in the moment, to take a moment and actually get honest with what is going on in my life and the way that I was feeling and to get back to operating out of a place of calm versus the anxiety filled up, hurry up, yelling, mom that was driving to have it all together, but clearly did not.

(08:09): I about died. And, but once I realized I could not stop laughing. And it's funny how life works that way and, and how, you know, the Lord speaks to you. And so here it is, it's like I'm buying, but I got to ask, are we really I'm in control, but are we really? And it's so hard to admit it, but here's the thing God already knows. So why are we trying to hide all of our imperfections, the failures, the sins, our shortcomings, the times where we fall short, is it from the fear of man fear of what others think of us, the fear of rejection, the fear of shame, the fear of guilt. It's like, we're on this mission that you know, that we have to look so good to play the part or to play the role of the perfect wife, the perfect mom to have perfect career, the perfect kids, the perfect home, the perfect life, but the standard is not even close to how we should measure our worth or our success.

(09:06): Do we use God's standard? Do we get honest? Not just with ourselves, but with him, it only matters what the Lord anyway, being honest is the only way to fix or to find that peace and that calm and the rest that I know that we are all craving and needing in our life. So I just want to quickly share a few things to help you slow your heart and your mind down a bit. One don't take things so seriously. Be intentional. Live with intention, live with purpose, but do not focus on the menial things of life. Like ask yourself, is this going to matter in five minutes, five days, five years from now. So we need to shift this focus and be present in the moment we need to shift our focus to the truth and stop believing the lies that you have to have it all together.

(09:52): Number two, know that you are not alone. You know, so many points in our lives. We find ourselves chasing worldly things, all the superficial happiness and the joy. And we jam up our days, focus on the busy, the hustle and the bustle thinking that is what's going to make our life fulfilling yet. There's still a void, not to mention the inability, to just breathe and feel calm and peace and joy in our life. And we forget what matters in life. And we stop focusing on this larger picture. And that's one of the reasons we struggle so much. And I want you to know that no matter how crazy things get there is calm in the center of it all. If you set your mind on Christ and allow him into your heart and then number three, keep those that love you no matter what close to you, those that know you without all the masks who know the true you, the ones you feel totally free around where you can come as you are.

(10:44): And they love you. And then turn around. This is probably the most important part. Then turn around and be that person be that light for others. I want to share with you a passage from my book set free. It's set to release in may. And I kept thinking about how constantly busy was controlling my life. I felt like I had no control over my daily life and that I just had to roll with it. I was doing good things in my life, but altogether it was just too much. And all those smaller behind the scenes, things were making my life only more stressful. The kids had no clue what was going on or what was wrong. What's wrong. They asked I had no response, but the fake I'm all good at that moment. I knew I couldn't keep up living. Like I was going through the motions, burning the candle at both ends and feeling like I was spiraling out of control.

(11:34): I was out of control, no doubt about it. So I took a deep breath and I decided to make some changes. It was a pivotal moment. I knew I couldn't keep going on with my life the way it was, but that's all I knew. I didn't know what I was going to do or how I was going to get there. But I knew I wasn't the only woman who felt that way. You can think of times in your life. Ladies, that lacked peace. You might not feel like your life is very peaceful right now. And that's why I want you to check out my message and my gift to you through my book set free in Matthew 1128 through 29, he says, come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for, I am gentle and humble in heart.

(12:19): And you will find rest for your souls. I cannot wait to share with you in my book, set free. And if you've ever felt like something was missing, either within yourself or in your life as if there's this void that you can't define, and yet can't escape, you've been trying to find your purpose. And sometimes you even question whether you have one, I'm going to help answer those questions and share how I discovered the way to show up as the woman. You know, you want to be the woman, God designed and created you to be. And I'm going to share with you some of my darkest struggles and the moments that will trace my path to where I am today. I'm going to give you every step I took along that journey that led me to God's unconditional love. So you can take these exact steps to freedom and enjoy his peace too.

(13:01): And I pray that you realize that God with God, you can overcome anything. So I invite you to take a sneak peek of set free. Join the set free book club, go to Joel Allen, coaching.com. And again, it is set to release in may. Also, I know you are being called rise. I want to invite you to the Jesper sisterhood, a 12 month mindset and accountability experience rooted in biblical truth for Christian women like you, who are ready to rise up head to Joe Allen, coaching.com heads up on the next episode, I am going to continue the set free journey. Come back next week as we unpack a little more. So looking forward to that, thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know someone that can benefit, I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time, beef [inaudible] be unstoppable.

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