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In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • How one simple question reveals with crystal clear certainty if God’s calling on your life or it’s just something you want to do (6:01) 
  • The first step after a big disagreement with your husband that brings you closer instead of creating more division (12:49) 
  • The first step to strengthening your relationship with your husband — especially after a big argument (12:49) 
  • How simply saying “yes” to God’s calling almost magically prepares you for it (even if you’re the most unqualified person on the planet) (15:07) 
  • Why falling short on your plans is a gift from God that means bigger, life-altering plans are right around the corner (20:37) 
  • The “God goggles” method that helps you easily lead other people to Jesus (without them thinking you’re proselytizing them) (23:16) 

If you’re ready to rise up and become the best version of yourself, check out the 12-month mindset and accountability experience that will help you rise up here: https://befitandfierce.com/justbreath 

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://befitandfierce.com and become unstoppable with us. 

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:36): Hey there. Welcome to find your fierce. As always. I love it. That you are here with us today. Welcome back. We are continuing this message with Susie Slater here today, and we're just going to dive right into it where we left off last week. Enjoy. So Jill have tell you the story and I don't think I'll cry, but I get so worked up when I'm talking about it. There was a day I was going to Columbus to go to the chiropractor and all morning, I just kept feeling like I got to hurry. I got to hurry. I'm in Blake. We have this to do and not to do in this to do. And I just felt rushed all morning, jumped in the car and I need to, I need to boogie it up there because I'm going to be late. You know, it was like a 15 minute drive and I'm on the highway.

(01:20): And I realized I am not going to be late. I am going to be so early. Like, I don't know how to look to read or anything. What am I going to do? You know, I'm going to be like 25 minutes early. I'm just going to be sitting in my car, staring. And I, I drive, you know, about 25 minutes and I'm up on the highway. I'm coming to a stoplight, but it's the highway. And I see a little girl about three years old, getting ready to cross the highway. And by herself by herself had her dog. And I just in my heart, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pulled my car over, got out of the car and you know, took her by the hand she had bare feet short sleeve shirt nine, I think it was like March.

(02:03): It was cold out. And there were apartments over on the side and I not good at crisis. You know, my brain, wasn't thinking my, my heart took over. You know that, Oh my goodness, this little girl's walked out of one of these apartments. And so I took her by the hand and we went over to the apartments and you know, I said, is this your apartment? Cause I saw toys. And she said, huh? And I knocked on the door and no one came. And then I thought, Hmm, she's only three. Does she really know which one is her apartment? So I pointed at another door and I said, is that your apartment? She said, pointed upstairs. I said, is that your apartment? She said, so I walked around for a little bit thinking any minute a mom is going to come running out frantic screening for her child because she's realized that she's missing and no one came and we walked around for, I don't know, it seemed like eternity.

(03:00): It was probably six or seven minutes, but I don't know if you've ever had, when your children were young, you heard the door and you're there. Like, what are you doing and why? And then she started saying, my mom's sleeping, my mom's sleeping. So, but then I started thinking, how confident am I going to be at the person that opens the door? If I get somebody to open the door and they say, Oh yeah, that's my child. How trusting am I going to be to learn her over? So then I, I walked over to my car and got my phone and called the police. And then he said, actually someone else has called into, there was a truck driver that saw everything happened. And he called in. And so I said, okay, I see the police right there. So the police pulled in, he took her and you know, it's gonna take her to children's services.

(03:52): So I drive another, you know, to get to my power. It's not like she was around the corner. I drive another 25 minutes to get to her, start bawling, you know, telling her what happened. I start bawling, crying. And I said, I just, I'm never going to know. I'm never going to know what happened to her. You know, what, what is her life? You know, where'd, she end up what's and so I'm not kidding. The next week I went back to my chiropractor and she said, Susie, I have to tell you something. One of my patients as a foster parent. And she asks me for clothes every once in a while for foster kids that she gets in. And last week she asked for size for clothes, for a little girl that she had taken in and she described her. And she said that she was picked up by somebody who was, because she was crossing the highway. Oh, a little girl, you picked up. And I said, well, I hope there weren't two

(04:50): Little girls across the

(04:53): Description. And she said, you know, she, she held my arm and she said, she's going to be okay. She's going to be okay. She, this foster mom is, this family is so wonderful. And you know, that was like, I mean, that was such a God moment for me, Joe. Oh, that's a God moment. The whole morning of me feeling rush. So I was there 20 minutes earlier than I would have been taking the girl up. It could have been anybody else picking her up, the police being right there. So because what would I have done if somebody would've come at this point running out of the apartment, but then having that piece, that next week of knowing that she was going to be okay,

(05:37): And what are the chances? I mean, that's when you say like, okay, this doesn't just happen. Like it's not a coincidence. It was his way of telling you that he's eating control, but he's letting you know, like it's okay, hold your peace.

(05:52): Yeah. Because you know, I, for a while I was like, well, how do I know? Because I have loved children for ever, how do I know that it's God telling me to do this and not just myself, not something I want to do. So I heard one time when, when you're questioning, if it's God's calling on your life or something you want to do, if it's something that just keeps repeating that you can't, you almost can't stop thinking about. And it doesn't really fit into your, you know, in my brain. I like, I like plan. I want to know. I want to know. And before the beginning, I want to know how it's going to play out. I want to know what are we going to do about a spitter? What are we going to? You know, what equipment do I need? What size clothing?

(06:39): You know, all of that stuff. And yeah, I just started feeling on my heart so much that this is something I'm supposed to do. And so then after that, you know, we started moving forward again. But then again, you know, as a parent, all right, not yet, I'm going to keep my eyes on my own kids. And it was probably a year ago. No, I'd say eight months ago that I had the stirring in my heart. So bad dreaming about babies and just, you know, I mean, I'd be shopping with my daughter and she'd even say, mom, there's somebody getting ready to come down the aisle and they have a baby just control yourself. Like do not hold the baby.

(07:22): You know, of course, working in the nursery at church and you know, all of that good stuff, but you know, no longer questioning, like, am I equipped for this? What does the plan look like? Because I think, you know, I wrote this down because I heard the most important and possibly the only thing that matters when it comes to being ready for something that God is calling you to do is your willingness to say yes. And because when God asked you to do something, he isn't asking you for your qualifications, he's asking for your obedience.

(08:01): Yeah. I'm telling you to how many the stay yes. Has popped up and has, has been spoken here in the last few weeks is just say, yes, the willingness. I love it. Okay. You said, he's not asking you for your qualifications. He's not asking you for your qualifications. He's going to equip you. And he's just, he's asking for your obedience and your willingness, probably for things that are, that, that doesn't even seem logical, like you're, you're sharing the story and it doesn't seem logical to your dreams or that your purpose. It doesn't make sense. He's asking you to do something that may not make sense to you and the people that are around you. Right.

(08:43): So with something like this, you know, it's definitely, it's definitely my calling, but it's not Steve's. So that was the next thing. That was the next you know, okay Lord, what are we, what are we going to do about this? Because when you're stepping into something like fostering or hosting the children in your home, it can't just be the wife's it's has to be both, you know, we both had to go through training. So, you know, we had some come to Jesus moments but you know, really God can change anyone's heart. And so, so we started, well, I started thinking, well, what organization do we want to work with? And, you know, I talked with a couple and we were, I just remember the night before we, I started thinking about safe families for children again, but I wasn't, I, I hadn't told Steve yet that this was really stirring in my heart again, because, or anybody, because you know, now this is the third time and I'll all the times before, you know, people would be like, Oh, you know, are you moving forward?

(09:56): And then I'd be like, Oh no, I don't think right now is the right time. You know? And I didn't want to be, I, you know, of course I thought people were going to be like, Oh, well we've heard this before. So I really just sat on it on my heart for several months, not even talking to Steve about it. And then one night I was supposed to be on a call where they were giving prophetic words. And I honestly did not know that people still prophesied today. And I couldn't get on, I couldn't get on the call. I couldn't get my computer to work. And and I, I had a prop, somebody prophesied over me and my eye, even though I wasn't there, my friend recorded it. And it, and my friend did not even know that I was wanting to step into this with children.

(10:39): And my prosthetic word was you have a gift with children and God is telling you to step into the call. And now is the time. And children are going to be dramatically changed by you. I cry, but I didn't tell anybody. I didn't go to my friends and say like, no one knew and no one knew. So I sat on it for a bit. And then I talked to Steve and I said, now is the time because it, before she even gave me that prophetic, you know, it was already there. It was already there. And before I took that little grow up on the highway, it was already there. You know, I just feel like God has given me these moments of all right, I'll give you this because you're ready. You're ready. So we, we moved forward and, you know, going to the train the night before I prayed, you know, let me know clearly who we're supposed to work with because I was just like, Oh, I just, I don't know what organization we're supposed to work with.

(11:46): And we walked into the training when we sit down and, and the the man in charge said welcome. And I start crying and that's not me. Like, I need to stop saying that because I'm becoming a crier, but I couldn't stop crying all day. And I just felt so Oh gosh, just filled with the Holy spirit. That's all I can. That's the only way I can explain it. And we left there and I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I was so excited and just, you know, like, okay, let's get this paperwork rolling today, fill all this out. And I look over at Steve and he was stone faced and I said, well, what did you think? You know, I just don't know. And so we talked all all the way home and I, you know, I understand his feelings.

(12:46): We, you know, had had a little, a little talk, but when I went to bed that night, I said, God, I know that you're calling me to do this. And I know that, you know, that Steve has to be on board in some sense. So please change his heart, you know, do what you need to do. Or if there's something that I need to do, or if there's something that I need to say, or if there's more information that he needs, or if we need to go talk to families, you know, put, put that in my brain of what to do. Please don't let this, you know, division happen between us. You know, I'm thinking it's been a long time. Lord I've wanted to do this for a long time. And so when Steve woke up the next day and over the next several days, he started getting excited. And I wasn't asking for him to be excited. I was just asking you to, for him to be okay. And, you know, we filled out paperwork and we got outlet covers, and we got cabinet. Your, all the things that we had undone in our house for child safety, Steve was, was doing it. And, you know, just the doughnuts and started rolling in. And just, I mean,

(14:04): Hearing is the fact too, like of how you responded again, you went straight to the Lord, you asked for prayers, you asked for like, what is it that we can do, maybe the old and correct me if I'm wrong, the old Susie would have forced this and said, Steve, you're doing this. And that's where that division can. And it didn't happen that way. Like you gave it to God, God worked.

(14:27): Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I'm not saying there weren't some things in that discussion on the way home that I had to bring to his attention, you know, I'm not saying that I just sat there peacefully and, you know, prayed all the way home. I mean, I, I did say some things that, you know, just about support and his role, this strong feeling that this is what I'm called to do. So

(14:52): Yeah, he did it back down. Wow. I mean, there's so much good stuff in this. I mean, it go to God first, it's having the relationship with Jesus. Love them anyway. Right. Is that, and I wrote this question down, is that me God? Or is that you? Oh, and I love the fact that you, that you said that he is going to equip you, even when it doesn't make sense, you know, it's just, but it's our willingness to say yes to our call. Where are you at now?

(15:19): Well, interesting enough. I was prophesied over again that we were starting something new and the lady said, is it a business? And she said, and I said, well, we already do business together. And she said, now this is something new. And I said, Oh, it's, we're going to be hosting. You know, families children that are with the families are in crisis. And she looked at me for a minute and she said, you're not going to. And I said, you know, I wanted to do this, you know, hold babies, blah, blah, blah. For a long time, she said, well, you're not going to be holding babies. You're going to be leading this. And I laughed. And I said, no, not, I mean, here's somebody that says not her words. I mean, she's hearing from the Holy spirit. And I was like, no, I'm just gonna hold babies.

(16:05): And Jill, I kid you not, it was probably, I don't know, four or five days later, I sat up in bed one morning and like mashed my legs. And I was like, we need this in Fairfield County. We need this organization, not just in Columbus, which is who I'm affiliated with. Cause we had, at that point, we already had all the paperwork, the background checks, fingerprinting and all that stuff done. So people ask me all the time, do you have a baby yet? Do you have a baby yet? And, and you know, safe families is about all ages. It's not just babies. It's just that for so long, I wanted to care for babies. And so that's where we're at right now. You know, I teased and said, don't call me and ask me to take a teenager. But God, you know, that's definitely something that's yeah, thoughts are being put into my head.

(17:00): We'll just what was a slave at at that. But so with that, me, that feeling that we need to in Fairfield County, the way safe families works is because they have so many facets of volunteers. They have the host family that takes care of the children. Then they have the coach that takes care of your parents. You know, helping them along. And then they have mentors. The mentors actually just check in with the host families to make sure if they seem stressed, they might say, Hey, let's get a little group together and make them dinner this week. Cause they just seem like they're a little stressed. I know there's one lady that whenever one of the families gets children, she brings, cut up fruits and vegetables to their porch every morning, somebody else, you know, crochets blankets for babies, you know, just all these different people pulling against there's facets of so they work with, with churches.

(17:52): And so with that feeling of, we need this in Fairfield County, because at first I was fine working with families and Franklin County and having to go to visits and Franklin County and you know, doctor appointments or whatever. But man, just thinking about my own town and how much safe families as needed, where there are so many families that the kids may not be being neglected. You know, sometimes there's a mom, a single mom and she doesn't have community of someone. She feels safe having watched your kids. And if she has to go to the hospital, even if it's to deliver a baby, she doesn't have someone to watch her kids. She has to take the kids to the hospital with her. Well, the hospital can't let them just hang out there. So they have to call children's services. The safe families works with the hospitals, homeless shelters, children's services, you know, we have, so the lighthouse, the Pearl house, I mean, there's so many different organizations in our town that can utilize what safe families have to offer.

(19:03): And so, so now, you know, we had to wait for the holidays to get over, but, but my church is actually ready to come on board, gather those volunteers that it's going to take. So then once we have the volunteers, you know, then I can go to these different organizations and say, this is what we have. So they're not just having to call children's services and, and, you know, have these, some of these kids be put in the system where they may not necessarily need to be put in a system, don't have to fight to get them back. They just need some help.

(19:39): I just keep hearing you think your plans are good, but God has even bigger ones that more better than you can even imagine. And I just see him working through you and all the people that again, you're going to impact and bring along on this journey, not, I mean, just beyond the kids, even the impact of the lives of the volunteers and how their life's going to change through all of this. This is so good.

(20:06): So, you know, Joel, again, like I was so ready to have a baby, like, right. I mean, we have a Crip set up and I guess I have everything and you know, just okay. You know, and even saying like, I'm going to be so sad if I don't have a baby by, you know, and I, I do feel kind of bad saying that because I know that that means that there's a family in crisis, but in all reality, we know there's families in crisis. They just don't know that they have this opportunity of, you know, safe families to be able to call and ask for help. But you know, if I look back and if I would have had, if I would've gotten a baby, right. You know, my mission would have been accomplished, but that's not, you know, that's not what we're God has planned. And so I know that that's why we haven't had a baby yet because it's putting that in my heart once again, to do something that I'm not comfortable with. I don't know what it looks like for me to go to these different organizations and me be the leader of it in our community, but I'm trusting God. And I'm praying on it every day that he's going to give, which he will. He's going to give. Yeah.

(21:17): Can you say that the anxiety, I mean kind of like wrapped us back around to what are we first started talking about the anxiety to control the,

(21:28): The worry Is that present as you're walking into the unknown of what God has planned for you,

(21:36): It's not. And you know, Steve and I even laugh sometimes because I mean, there'll just be a chaotic moment here at home. He's like, you know, w w what would it look like if we had a baby be here right now? And I said, well, it would look like this. Yeah. But there'd be a baby right there, James. Yeah.

(21:57): Oh, So that, and that is different. That is different for me because I, you know, I remember when I had my first child and, you know, he was crying and I said to a friend, I said, I just can't wait until he's on a schedule. And I, then I know when he's crying, what it means. I mean, that's such a, that's such a new parent.

(22:18): Oh yeah. We, we, again, we want the schedules. I mean, I think this there's so much wisdom in this and, and value of, you know, if you're listening to this to know that living with anxiety, living with the overwhelm living, you know, and getting caught up in the chaos, it doesn't have to be like, there's a new way of living for sure. It goes back to what you said. There'll be the willingness to say yes.

(22:43): Yeah. And there's so much peace that comes with that. Not peace that I've created myself, but because of God that God has given me that peace, not that I've learned to deal with it, which is what I tried to do for a long time. I learned to deal with anxiety and not because of anything that I'm, you know, not, not, you know, not exercising more or not. You know, it's definitely

(23:10): Something that doesn't fix things. Yeah, sure,

(23:16): Sure. Well, when God started saying, teaching me, love them anyway, love them. Anyway, this is going to follow through with me creating relationships with parents, through safe families, to where they may not be raising their children the way I feel like they should be raising their children, or they may not be living their life the way I should, like they should be living their lives, but love them anyway, because ultimately that is only thing

(23:46): That's going to lead people to Jesus is to show them the love, not condemnation, not holier than thou, not me being put on a pedestal because I'm the judgment taking better care of their children than they are not any of that. But every person just seeing them, the way that God sees them. And that's that right there is powerful. If we can just do that, man. How different world? Yeah. Seriously. Thank you. I mean, it's so good ladies. I tell you, you are being called to rise. You know, I want to invite you to the Jesper pre sisterhood and 12 month mindset and accountability experience rooted in biblical truth for women like you, who are ready to rise up head over to be fit and fierce.com forward slash just breathe. Or you can check it out on the just brief Facebook group heads up on the next episode, we are going to talk a little bit about vision. We have another special guest that will add so much fire to your day. So be sure to come back. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you feel felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback in a review as well, talk with you next time, be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable. See ya.

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