Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
(00:36): Hey there. Welcome to Find Your fierce. Love that you're here today, and I love what I'm going to share with you as well. I have this tugging in my heart to reach out to your soul. And here I am, I have to laugh because I'm getting ready, putting things together for the episode, having a few interviews as well, set up for today. And it's a Tuesday, okay. All planned specifically for today as Tuesday is the day that I get to work a day. The kids actually go to school. And as you can imagine, things don't always go as planned, right? Two kids are homesick. Rob decides to take today off from work. And I'm like, why are you guys here? Why are you home? And I have to laugh because it goes perfectly with what I was going to share with you today. Like it was this test for me.
(01:21): I mean, I could not aligned this up any better because I wanted to talk to you about living with joy and therefore a split second here this morning, my joy was trying to be stolen from me, snag from me. And I can only imagine your days what you're going through even now, currently. And I know we all have our own story, our own journey, things that we are currently facing. I know that we are all living through a pandemic right now. Some of us are exhausted, hurt and pain overworked. Maybe you're forced to not work at all that you have to work from home. You know, your schedules are all swap in and being changed and anything, nothing is normal, right? You know, there's a new normal, and I get it. There's all these stipulations and the guidelines for the health and safety measures and all the pressures at work all at home, even all around.
(02:10): So I want to set the tone here really quick. I know we went through a few deep breaths on last week's episode. I feel led to do this again, as I feel we need to just breathe. I know I need to. So if you're listening in the car at home or you're cooking or working out, just pause with me for a moment and breathe with me. I encourage you right now to slow down for a moment. We need to begin to work from a place of rest, right? Versus working from a frazzled state. So we need to breathe. And I know we talked a little bit about this last week, how our breath is connected with everything we do. It shifts and changes when we feel stressed or when we have fear when we're excited or happy or when we are calm. And I want the deep breaths to become natural.
(02:55): I know for some of you taking a big breath in, it feels like there's this weight on your chest. You may even feel some panic to expand your lungs that much. Right? That was me. A few years back. Our breath is linked to our emotions. Our emotions are linked to our breath. So if we need to slow down or wanting to feel a sense of calm and stillness, we need to learn to just breathe. So let's try this again. And trust me, stick with me. I will wrap joy into all of this. Okay? So I want to take you through some techniques. Okay? So you can stand as a matter of fact, if you can see, or you could even be sitting, it doesn't matter. Like I said, you could be anywhere and do this, but I want you to kind of just bring those shoulders back and down, away from your ears.
(03:40): I want you to be in tune with your posture, notice your neck, your jaw, where your shoulders are. And I want us to take a few joy breasts. I actually got this joy breath off of a friend of mine, Jenny Donnely. And I was out of one of her retreats a couple months back. And she said, let's do some joy breaths. And I'm like, Ooh, what are these? These are really, really good. Okay. So what I want you guys to do again? It is probably better. If you stand, when you do this, I'm actually going to stand up and do this myself. But I want you guys to stand and put your feet about shoulder width apart. Okay. And just be in tuned, like where, where your feet, you know, just making sure that they're balanced. Okay. Relaxing the shoulders. I want you to take a big, deep breath in, and then I want you to exhale.
(04:38): If anything, you guys are going to breathe at least once a week. Okay. To start into, to begin with all of this, take a big deep breath in, and again, you could be in through the nose, out through the nose and the mouth out through the mouth, in, through the nose, out through the mouth. That does not matter. As long as you are expanding those lungs, opening up the chest, letting your jaw, relax your shoulders, relax. Take a big deep breath in exhale. So these next three breaths, okay. These are the joy breaths that I'm talking about. I want you to inhale and we're going to let this big, huge whoosh out. Okay. We're going to like, Ooh. And that's the joy. Okay. We're going to inhale the joy and then just exhale out anything that is holding us back from joy. So take a big deep breath in and release. That's your one joy. Do it again.
(05:45): Inhale that joy, exhale. And one more called joy breath skies. I absolutely love it. It's just enough for you to reset, recharge, regroup, and set the tone and bring that joy back in to your life. Okay. So I hope that you're feeling a bit more calm right now. I mean, I want to expand on this. So here I am telling you, just find rest, be calm, find peace, find peace from within live a life of joy. But what happens when we experience something that doesn't go our way, that we may feel a little bit grumpy. It puts us in a grumpy mood, just like this morning, right? When I was getting ready to record this broadcast, everyone is home. And that was not what was planned. And it was like their home again, right? Because nobody goes to school anymore. And we're home quarantine or we're home and spending more time with everybody within the four walls.
(06:52): I totally get to guys. I totally get it. We have a lot, a lot of family time. So when things just come flying at us and then our response, which oftentimes is a negative response, unless we become aware, it's usually because we are unaware and then it becomes a habit. So we can make a simple shift in our mindset so that our heart is full of joy, because I truly believe that we're all here during this time, these moments around the right people at the right time, all for a reason, it's like this opportunity for us to ask, what is it that you want me to learn from this? Why am I here in this moment? Why is there so much family time? What is it that I can learn from this? Why am I here right now? How can I help? What do you want me to do, Lord?
(07:41): How can I serve? What can I do to make an impact with the people that I am surrounded with each and every day with what I have and from where I am standing right now, what do you want me to do? And have a, now I got to ask, have you ever had met someone that has so much joy? You can hear it in the way that they speak their smile, the way that they talk, that pure joy. I mean, it's electrify, like you're drawn to them in their, you know, maybe their, their eyes, they sparkle people that you just want to be around. And let me ask you on the flip side, have you ever spotted someone in the grocery store and you bolted because of the complete opposite that you always feel drained after being around them. But when you are around others, living a life of joy, you're attracted to them.
(08:33): You want more of that? It's contagious. Here's the thing. I just want us to do a self-check of our joy level here today, because we may not be in a season of joy right now, even though it's the holiday season, we may not be living in it. We may be frazzled. We may be worn out. We may be overwhelmed. We may not be present or grateful life swirling around us right now. And you may feel that there's not much to be joyous about because there's these days are these, the season that you, you just may not want to give praise to. And if we're being completely honest and here, because I totally get it, I've been there for sure. So what is it like when things are not going as planned or smooth sailing like you expect, or you want them to be, what do we do?
(09:17): It's like the cycle. It's a habit. It's a treadmill to grumpy town. Think about our fitness plans. How many of us say that we're going to start on Monday, but only if my coworker doesn't bring donuts in, then I'm going to be good. And then we allow what is going on around us to determine how we're going to respond. It's kind of like that with our joy. I'll have joy. When this virus goes away, I will have joy. When my kids choose to behave. Now I'll have joy. When my kids go to school, I'll have joy. When all is good in the world. And no one sends complaints with nasty texts or emails or calls or post something negative on, on Facebook, I will be joyful when my friends are having a good day, I will have joy. When all the news media, the social posts are positive and uplifting.
(10:05): I will have joy when my shift is over. When the weekend is here, when the season is over guys, I was right there. I was not present. I was not joyful. I had some bitterness going on, some resentment cranky at times. And even though I was showing up in the world, it was still impacting all those around me, which then turns into the overwhelmed, the burnout, the stressed, the you that can barely hang on, but the one maybe who overeats or over drinks, you put yourself on this back burner. The joy is on the back burner. You can't even imagine like, well, where is it? I want to live a life of joy. I want to be the one that people are attracted to that want to be around me. But instead, this joy has tripped. And then we have become the drainable, the complaint or the one who gossips and judges and blames.
(10:54): And ultimately we can become this victim. The one where the joy was stolen from her, maybe we just choose to give her joy away. Have you ever thought about that? It's not necessarily. What's all around us and what is happening to us. We're just choosing to give our joy away. And I know I shared this a while back. I mean, it was, it's probably been close to a year, but the day that I remember that something had to change, I was working 50 million hours a day, right? It was the busy season in the greenhouse. We're working tons. All the kids are having to be in different directions. My alarm goes off at four and you don't even get home until after nine. And I pick the kids up from school and I was not present. I was not listening to a word that they were saying they were all of course, they had this childlike, faith and happiness, and they were just so excited to see you, but I wasn't paying attention.
(11:55): I was tending to on the steering wheel, I was, I was just stressed to the max thinking about everything that needed to be done. There was no joy to be present at all. There was nowhere to be found and I was living on this cycle of poor me. Okay. And this weight that I was carrying, the way that we all often carry the perfection, the fixer, I mean, we're the doers, we're the yes, girls, right? The multitaskers, the women that does it, all the stuff doesn't just go away. Guys. Something needed to change as my joy, that peace, the calm, the sanity, it was gone. And I wanted it back. I wanted to find it. So I want to ask you, what does it look like for you to see this day that has been given to you as a gift from above one to be joyous about Nikki cozy RS?
(12:45): My friend, she wants said that we are not in charge, but we are in charge of the process. And I started thinking about that. Wait a minute, we've been given free will, as we have this choice to be joyful, no matter what, even if there's like for a moment, you don't think that there's anything to be joyous about. There is how can we stand in the middle of the season of crazy, the unfair, the unknown with some peace and the calm where we just breathe. And we soak it all in with complete faith and with joy. So it goes back to this mindset shift or our wake up call moment. Let's call it our wake up call moment. Have you ever heard of a song? Even if at some by mercy, me, a friend of mine was battling cancer a few years back. So glad to share with you.
(13:37): She's been cancer free now for two years. And she sent me the song as she was battling on that journey. And I absolutely loved it. It was called ENF, right? So it's not about an if or when this happens, then I will be joyful. It is about an even F and I just, I had that song on repeat. And so when this happens, mindset, joys only gonna come from when all is right in the world, when all is good with, you know, when rainbows are everywhere and when the sun is shining, then you're going to be happy and joyous. But when we switched to the, even if belief, there will always be something to be joyous and grateful for in the midst of it, all we could be in this storm. And there's still something, even in a storm, even if there is a storm all around us, there's going to be something that we can be choice and grateful for.
(14:32): And we have to make that shift. What is there to be joyful for today? What does it mean to you to have a joyous heart? And I get it, there are some doom and gloom in days going on right now. There's some gray skies. And with all that we face with the world's chaos. But if we go back to what Nikki shared right about who is in charge and who can control the process, then we can go from when when this happens to an, even if we can go back to what mercy me sayings, even if I'm going to be joyful, even if healing is needed, even if things are not smooth, even if we are faced with challenges, even if the unknown hits you like a ton of bricks, even if the holidays are jacked up this year, even if your friend disagrees with you, even if someone posts something on Facebook, you don't agree with.
(15:24): Even if we were placed here in this very moment with a purpose, a mission that is much bigger than all that we are facing right now. And there's someone that needs your joy and someone needs your grateful heart and soul right now. And here's the thing. Joy is the fruit from what the Lord can provide the gratitude, the praise. The fact that this day that we are in is a gift. It's a miracle a day to celebrate your wins and all that is going good in your life. I just want you to think about that. Let's do a self-check right? So take some time for those joy breaths. Go listen to the song by mercy, me, even if, and let's flip that mindset to, I will have joy even if, and celebrate the wins in your life, be grateful and live a life of joy.
(16:16): I hope you were able to take away a few things today that will help you live that life with joy. If you want to break free from what's holding you back from walking in your true identity. And you're interested in a small group mentorship that just breeze sisterhood for 2021, email me@jillatjoeallencoaching.com. And we will connect if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle crazy busy life, head on over to beef@andfierce.com and become unstoppable with us heads up on the next episode, we're going to have a special guest that will give you so much hope and encouragement, and you do not want to miss this. Thanks so much for joining me today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time, be fit be fierce, be unstoppable.
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