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In this episode, you’ll learn…

  • How these 3 little words will forever alter the way you respond to change (3:02)
  • The subtle mindset shift required to tap into the blessings that come from unexpected change (4:02)
  • Doing this one thing will instantly help you handle dread and fear in a more productive way (9:06)
  • The #1 most sabotaging thing you can do when you have to deal with sudden change (10:33)
  • Why the coronavirus will fast track your success — but only if you master this skill (12:26)
  • The only thing that will never change regardless of how chaotic the world becomes (15:37)
  • The 3-step plan for preventing a nervous breakdown during life-bending changes (17:06)

If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it’s like to juggle a crazy busy life, then go to https://befitandfierce.com and become unstoppable with us.

Or, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith, join our Just Breathe Facebook Group.

Read Full Transcript

Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:35): Hey there everyone. Welcome to find your fierce. This is episode 11 where we are going to talk about change for the next 15 minutes. I mean, how change can be a blessing in disguise and how we can continue to thrive even when we are forced to change unexpectedly. I had my thoughts of what I wanted to discuss in this week's episode. I was going to ask you to kick things off with. Do you really want to change and go into what it takes to do so talk about showing up the discipline that is required, how it is essential to make the decision to change, and it felt off with everything that is going on. So I scrapped all of that because sometimes let's be real. Change comes upon us and requires us to change in an instant a change that was not welcome. Change that was not expected, especially with what's going on in the world right now with the virus and we are facing change.

(01:30): Every single one of us, our lives have been altered and we all know what I'm talking about. We are in this time where the virus is impacting people. They're getting sick. Schools are being closed for weeks. Who knows if they go back or not until the following school year. Kids are home, their schedules are off, meeting the parents. Schedules are off, sports have been canceled and we have a senior in high school and life as he knew it is not the same. You know, his graduation, his track team, they're all on hold right now. And with events being canceled, churches are going online, gyms are being closed, including my own. People are losing their jobs. People are being laid off, the security's gone. Businesses are shutting down. The economy is going crazy and we are all being hit with this major change, this unexpected kind of change that is being forced upon us right now.

(02:24): It was an unforeseen event. It was an unforeseen circumstance. Here we are rolling right along with her everyday life schedules are jam packed or heads are in her phones. Everyone's going in every direction just going about the busy days of life, but it's important to understand that any unexpected change is just a natural part of life because the reality is nothing lasts forever. I think over the past year, losing a business I had built for almost 10 years, the changes that's taking place in my gym, the changes in relationships, I want you to think about the changes that you have been faced with these past few months, but it's important to understand that unexpected change is a natural part of life because the reality is that nothing lasts forever. I think over this past year, losing a business I had built for almost 10 years, the changes that have taken place in my gym, the changes in relationships.

(03:17): I want you to think about the changes that you've been faced with in the past or maybe what you're going through currently and understand that it is natural and it's really necessary. I'm not saying that the virus is necessary, but I don't want you twisting my words, but change is necessary because it actually leads to growth. Helping us to experience life in a new way, leading to new perspectives, helping us gain wisdom from our experiences. Let me ask you, are these unplanned and unexpected changes that what if all these changes are good by default or let me rephrase, can good come out of all the changes? That's probably how I need to ask. Good can come out of all of these changes and of course I know unexpected change can be dramatic, challenging, uncomfortable, however it can be, so very beneficial and a blessing if we can change our thinking.

(04:14): Unexpected change can sometimes oftentimes transform our life in crazy ways. We may need to form some new habits, new routines, new beliefs while letting go of old habits and behavior and at the same time it is important to always stay open to the possibilities and the opportunities that may come our way or exist as a result of this change. I get it. It can be scary. Some fear may set in the doubt that comes with the unknown, the anxiety, but it can be an incredible, powerful blessing and it can be rewarding at the same time. There's so much value, an unexpected change and as much as change may suddenly throw our life out of balance. I think of the fact I did close my gym down during this time, thank goodness for online coaching or the fact that we were getting geared up for the spring season at the greenhouse within just these first few weeks.

(05:05): You know, the greenhouse has been hit like so many other families out there and it might have initially seem as though things have changed for the worse. However, Robyn Ivy took a step back and spent some time reflecting and we looked below the surface of this change. In fact, my husband and I found the benefits may far outweigh the drawbacks and I'm going to go into that a little bit here in a few. We look at these changes that have been forced upon us as ways to grow emotionally and even more so spiritually. Talk about personal growth. Talk about faith. We grow and learn new things. Every time something changes, we discover new insights about different aspects of our life. It gave us an opportunity to become more flexible with our thinking stronger. We were able to lay down the path for a better future for our family, for our businesses.

(05:56): It forced us to think differently about the events and the circumstances of our life. It even forced us to reconsider the choices and decisions that we've been making up to this point. A Navy, this unexpected change forced us to reevaluate our priorities and our values. It forced us to slow down and reboot. And over these last few weeks, I see people getting out in nature more, spending more time with family, doing crafts. I'm not sure if I'm going to be doing any of that, but I'm not much of a craft person, but people are doing crafts, but people are reevaluating their priorities and leaning into their faith more now than ever. And it's kind of hard not to think that unexpected changes may not be for the best. You know, we're looking at this as a new beginning and with new beginnings, other things must obviously end. The question is, what will you be focusing on the world chaos or God's truth?

(06:48): Will you focus on the new beginning and the opportunities it could potentially bring or will you struggle to accept what you might have lost? And these endings will obviously not serve you in the future. So my question is, is there any point focusing on them instead? It's much better to see the change as a fresh start filled with new opportunities and perspectives that will help you improve your life for the better. You know, I look at the kids being home and no joke. Over 40 sporting events each week are now canceled as a new beginning, a new time to have unorganized play, not being so structured. Schedules being a bit lax, new routines, dinners at home, the girls are playing in the tree house. The boys are out playing basketball right now. Our life was interrupted and our values have been brought back to a focus.

(07:32): Our priorities have been reeled back in and I hope the same goes for you during any type of change that's going on in your life. It can help you to develop your resilience and strength of character because it often forces you into uncomfortable and unfamiliar situations. We talked about being relentless that last episode. It is time for us to step up and be just that this change and our trust in the Lord encouraged us and prompted us to make me to changes in our business. It prompted us to take our greenhouse online and to revamp the business plan for this spring. Something that we had talked about for years, it was the catalyst. This change was the catalyst that kicked our imagination into high gear, forced us to improve to up level. It triggered progress and helped us think more creatively about our life and the way we live our day to day.

(08:24): Again, being such a blessing. There are so many benefits of these unplanned changes and they may not always seem very clear on the surface. We may have to dig a bit to find that silver lining, but for us to find the good, we need to be first open to the possibilities versus going down into meltdown or fear mode. Embrace this change and use it to recreate your life with purpose. So how can I help you? You're probably asking, so how can I help you move forward with unplanned changes? One, face it and embrace it somehow we need to find acceptance in it. And I'm talking any change guys, not just with what's going on in the world right now. Any change that you're going through because change can bring all kinds of emotions up and dread is one of them. Fear is another. You need to come to a place of acceptance.

(09:15): And face it head on because guess what? Life is going to keep moving and we are either going with it or we will be knocked down. We must accept the situation that you're in, especially if we have no control over it. As hard as that may be. So unexpected change has suddenly reared its ugly head and showed up in your life. It's now time for you to respond in a positive and proactive way that will help you to make the most of this change in the present moment. The first thing you must do, it's acknowledged that this change is bringing forth the new possibilities and perspectives that may not have been available before. You know, so it's critical that you are open to new ways of looking at things and even different ways of doing things. This unexpected change may have benefits that you might not even have imagined.

(10:04): However you must first stop to see them, to understand them and pause for a moment and take everything in. Take things in one breath at a time, let it soak in, see things in their proper context and with the right perspective that will help you move forward. There is so much news out there, the rumors, the social media, the stories we need to be in a clear head space and a heart space to not get so caught up in this short term thinking we got to see what is really going on here. Something unexpected has suddenly happened and your initial reaction is to panic, to be fearful, to be anxious and resist the change that is taking place. I totally get it. This is the most unhelpful thing you can do. Don't run from this change. Stay calm. It is time to lean into the truth, the word and to our God, right so that you can think about everything in the best possible light.

(10:56): It's even helpful at this time to actually disregard the short term picture when we are in that space, when we are in those moments, sitting with the Lord, ask guys, what's the bigger picture? What am I not seeing about this change that could have a long term advantage? Thinking long term about the bigger picture and the possibilities that might exist has hopefully calm you down, but it's now time to look at your current circumstances and deal with the change that is suddenly taking place. You take time to think about what exactly has happened in order to gain clarity about the situation. I want you to continue to ask what's exactly happening? What is changing? What have we lost? What have we gained? Why is this happening? Let's now gain some clarity of how we can move forward with purpose. What am I able to control? How must I adapt?

(11:44): What sacrifices must I make in order to do that? Is my old way of thinking going to help me? What options do I have moving forward? How can we move forward in a positive way? What positive action can we take right now? Guys? We can even go further and ask ourselves, how could my life change in the future for the better? How can these changes be beneficial? What possible opportunities might unleash? In the end. It's not what happens to you, but rather how you respond to the unexpected events and circumstances of your life that will make all the difference in the end. With all that being said, we need to be very real and look at things for what it truly is. No, I don't want you denying a situation or a way to deal with it later. We want to be taking positive action on things we can control and make the best out of each unexpected circumstance to learn and grow from it.

(12:37): We need to learn from our experiences. Once things calm down a bit, take some time to think and reflect on what just happened and learn from this experience to help you move forward and to continue in that positive direction. Ask yourself, guys, what can I learn from this experience? What can I learn from this unexpected change? How did I adapt? How can I continue adapting in the future so I can ensure that this is a positive change? We need to keep learning and not stay stagnant. Every step we take moving forward holds this learning experience that we can take from this. We can miss that when we are not willing to look at it as such. And if we view these unexpected changes as an experiment that kind of comes along with life, that that's just part of it. Not saying that it's easy, but it's something we must go through guys.

(13:26): We can either allow it to control our life or we can take control of our thoughts, our actions, and recreate our life with the purpose, the choice. And I love it. The choice is ours to make. Here's the thing. Challenges are a part of everyday life. They make us stronger and without them life becomes somewhat meaningless because we have nothing to compare. The good times too. Our challenges come in many forms. I know we hit on some of those earlier in the episode, but regardless of any challenge facing up to it as key and doing so will make you understand the value of what you have now and facing up to those challenges and living through them. Give us the experiences that make up our life and allows us to make us stronger. The strength we build up now and everything our country and our families are going through will help us in the future.

(14:13): They say that suffering makes you stronger. Well, so does the evolution of change. We are getting stronger and stronger every day. We may not know it, but we are and if we were never exposed to change, we would not be able to cope with all the upcoming challenges we're gonna face in the future. So layer by layer, learn, grow and allow it to make you stronger in all areas of your life. And number three, and this probably should have been number one, but it is pray and have a whole lot of faith. My question to you is do you run away from God during tough times or do you run toward him? I found during change, the times the unplanned changes that running toward him has been the best thing to do. We have to fix our eyes on him when storms are coming our way and our overhead.

(15:02): That is where we find the peace that is needed. And many times, God since changes into our lives, and I'm not saying God sent this virus, but I do believe that God sends job changes, relationship and family changes and the dreams that he places on our hearts. We can gripe, we can complain, we can fall back into this. Why me? Mentality. We can hold onto the fear and the anxiety and the doubt. Or we can choose to embrace these moments with joy or with the question. God, what do you want me to learn from this situation? What is my assignment right now in this season? I am so grateful that even though we go through tough moments of change, we have one truth we can hold onto. And that is that God never changes the same God who was faithful to all of those who came before us.

(15:50): He will be faithful to us as well. So in the midst of this chaos, there's one thing that never changes, that never waivers. And that is the fact that God loves you, okay? He sends these changes into our lives for a reason. And if we deny or mist the changes that he had for us, we would miss some of the biggest blessings in our life. And in this season of life. Just know that God who never changes will be with you every step of the way. So today, pray that God will give you the insight, the wisdom into this transition into the changes and to make you stronger. Start diving into a Proverbs four verse five to anchor you. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. All I gotta say ladies, he's got us. And that is for sure.

(16:35): I know we always talk about the desire to live a successful, happy and long life here and find, you know, find your fierce, you know, to achieve what we all desire by using our gifts. We need to be proactive about how we manage the change we face in our lives. We cannot control the events of change in our life, but we can control how we react to the impact that these I should, I shouldn't even say react, respond to the impact that these events have on our lives. We can choose who we align our thoughts and beliefs with and just to recap here, one, that is why we need to face and embrace the unexpected changes in our life. Two, we need to grow stronger because of them. Ask what we can learn and three, lean in and pray no, that we serve a good and mighty God and that he has our back.

(17:19): I want to invite you in if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle a crazy busy life. Head on over to beef@andfierce.com and become unstoppable with us or if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing our faith. Join our just breathe Facebook group heads up. On the next episode, we are going to dive into our fears a bit and share how you can live a life with confidence. Thanks so much for joining me today. Please subscribe. Share this episode on your social media

(17:50): as we all know, someone that can benefit and I would love it if you would give some feedback and a review as well. Talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstoppable.

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