Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • Hate promoting yourself and your business? Here’s why it’s easier to do it at the beginning of your day (4:47) 
  • The “Why Discipline Strategy” that builds respect, gives your children ownership, and encourages them to do their chores every day without being asked (6:50) 
  • The “Invitation Challenge Matrix” that helps you have more fun with your children without sacrificing your authority (9:39) 
  • The dirt-simple nightly gratitude challenge that turns you from a pessimist into an optimist (13:06) 
  • Why looking forward to business and family conflicts helps you conquer them instead of burning out (23:19) 
  • The strange way driving a different way to yoru office helps your business grow (26:14) 
  • How being vulnerable about your weaknesses makes you a stronger and more relatable leader (28:28) 

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times when your work is now in your home, check out my book Win At Home First on Amazon. Forbes Magazine rated it one of 7 books everyone on your team should read.

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Cory Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(00:25): Although this is Cory, today's episode is a different style. The tables are getting turned. Nick's biker, who is a good friend of mine. He's also been a client of mine for four years. He is interviewing me. So he asked some questions that I believe those answers may help you in what you're going through with raising your family, leading your business. Maui also unpacked some of his favorite teachings that I've shared in our coaching relationship over the last few years. What verse, why in parenting and how that could be helpful to you? We talk about marriage and the power of rest, as well as a, a teaching on from the book of mark that has been helpful in next leadership, I think will be helpful to you as well. Great episode, a lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did on today's episode.

(01:19): Hello, this is Corey. You are listening to win a home first podcast. Today is a, the special episode. A very good friend of mine is Nick Speicher. And since I launched this podcast, he has consistently said, you need to reverse the mic. You need to someone who's asked you the questions just to get more inside the things that you're doing. And quite honestly, I kind of always pushed back a little bit out of fear, a little bit out of humility and just not knowing what would happen after he pushed me kind of enough is like, let's do it. So today I'm joined by a very good friend of mine. Nick spiker, who is, is a friend, is a client. And so today the roles reversed Nick, cause he'd never come on my podcast as a guest. And so now he's going to come on as basically the, the host. He's going to ask me questions. So take it away, Nick. Well, that's not

(02:09): How it works. Remember the story you've done. What 70 of these podcasts. And the only way I could get on the podcast was if I agreed to interview you, that's how I remember the story. No, first of all, thanks for having me. The background for me as I've listened to these podcasts is I I've been a client with you. And, and then really that turned into a friendship is I know the impact that you've had on my life over the last four years. And I want people to get to hear that from you and the people that you've had on have been have great lessons, have great life stories, but you do too. And certainly it comes through in your book and it comes through in the way that you interact with your clients. And so, first of all, and not to be flattering, but it's been four years since we've been working together.

(02:51): And as I look back on some of the major changes in my life, I can tell you almost all of those to conversations that we've had. And a lot of those, and we'll try to structure this today are not planned encounters. You know, typically we meet on Friday mornings, but you almost always open with Hey, what's going on? Tell me what's going on. And usually there's something in there that's happening in my life as, as a father, as a husband, as a leader that we spend the first 30, 45 minutes on unscripted counsel, first of all, thank you for what you've done for me and for my family and for my business. I want to start with and think about that. What you just opened with was, Hey, I really pushed back on being on the other end of the mic. And from my sense, I always thought that was really because self-promotion is not something you like doing, and you have talked about this.

(03:38): I was just wondering, as you look at your transition from the business world to being an entrepreneur, to being a solo entrepreneur, what you're doing requires self promotion. It requires videos on Instagram. It requires videos on all social media platforms requires blogs. And as you, and I've talked that I don't know that that's something you enjoy doing personally as a way of self promotion. I also know it can be frustrating and you start looking at clicks and likes. I just wonder if you could talk through that journey of that emotional journey for you. I know you do that to help other people, but you also have a business to run. And so just wondering as you think through, like to know that you have to do some self promotion to steward your business the right way, but also knowing that that's not something you naturally are driven towards to have to promote yourself.

(04:29): I love sales. I love business development. I spent a whole career doing it. And when I was selling something else, it was easy. It was put together, go into these sales calls, I'm selling corrugated male pipe bridges. I did civil engineering. So it was selling those types of products. It was easy. And I knew I was solving a problem. Then when I got into the coaching and I knew the coaching helped, I wanted to do that for individuals, but then it became the part that you're talking about. And it was hard self promoting. I mean, still to this day, it's super hard. And there's a couple of things that I have to do. One, I start doing my self promotion early in the morning towards the end of the day. I'm tired. I feel defeated just like everyone else does, or I'm not going to make this video because someone is not gonna think it's helpful.

(05:16): But if I start in the morning, I have confidence. I am able to, to come across. And so that helps. I also have a pretty rigid morning routine that I use with getting myself fired up. It's quiet time. It's going to my vision statement. And then when I come out of that, I feel equipped and empowered to help other people. My biggest kryptonite is comparison. I will do a post. I think the post is great. I'll look. And it has three likes. And some other posts that I think is not that great has 3000 likes and I can. And that's where the devil comes to try to get me is through comparison. What

(05:54): Works for me? What I'm generally attracted is when you're most vulnerable. You know, a lot of people, even when they listen to podcasts, it's like this like two guys who have it all together, talking about why they have it all together. Like that's, I don't want to hear that. I want to hear people say like, here's where I don't have it all together. Here's the mistakes I've made. And so those posts that you make where it's like, here's the mistake I made with my kids. Here's the mistake I made in my wife. Here's how I'm feeling defeated, but here's the lesson I'm learning. My sense is that's what people are dying to hear is, gosh, I'm feeling that

(06:24): We'll need to hear it. I mean, before we hit record you and I talked about it and I launched that challenge. So as we jump in, I mentioned, there's three areas where you've had the most significant impact for me over the last four years. And I'd like for your listeners to hear, and that's be as a husband, as a father. And then obviously as a leader, before we jump into, I'm actually gonna start as a father. One of the things is I look back for me that I literally was going through the, this week, as you once told me that when you're, when you're disciplining a child, which in this, for this season of my life, that's where we are. A lot of people who are listening are, are always how do you discipline a child in a way that drives respect and lasting legacy and not fear and anger. And you said after I told you a couple of stories, you said, I hear you disciplining in a what status. Like, here's what you need to do. And when you says you don't discipline a child, what you discipline them with, why here's why? Because because I want you to respect and I want you to be obedient or because it's dangerous. And I have used that with my kids so much failing, still 70 to 80% of the time. But when it works, it's because I go to why

(07:34): Talk about that. What I saw in my own kids. And then just in leadership, when I say what to do, they're going to do it once, maybe twice. And, but if I like make your bed, since we're talking about kids, make your bed, you know, Kayla, you need to make your bed when you get up. If I say just that for a few different times, I mean, he's, he may or may not do it. It's not going to be a habit and he's not bought in. But if I tell him why making a bed as important, it talks about how discipline you're showing respect to the other family members. Your bedroom gala is right by the bathroom. The whole family, you know, walks right by. And if your room's a mess, it's disrespectful to all of us. So why you want to make your bed is to show respect to everyone in the family. You want to start taking ownership of your own life and kind of that these are type of things that shift you from being a boy to a man. That's why you want to make your bed. Kayla makes his bed every single morning. No joke. What is one or two times Y it can be a brand new habit in disciplining.

(08:42): I love that. That was the note I had written down was idea of somebody does something. If you tell them what to do it once or twice, that's a game changer for me is to go that next level as a parent. The other thing, and this, again, as I evolved in this season of life and having young and, and now getting a little bit older, I remember you calling me out. I was telling you a story again, one of these moments where I kind of showed up and said, Hey, what's going on? And just basically, you know, exploded on what had actually been going on 15 minutes before we jumped on the call. And it was all about disciplining my, my oldest, my eight year old daughter. And you said, that sounds like a high challenge. And I was like, well, yeah, of course, like, that's what I want. And you said, is it all challenge? Like, are you in a season where there's all challenged? Like, yes, like challenge discipline. And he said, w w is there any invitation? It was like, w what do you mean? Like, is there any invitation for her to be a part of this with you, to, for you to show like that you love her? And we walked through that invitation challenge.

(09:39): Yeah. The invitation challenge matrix. It was not mine. And it was taught to me. And that too is just been, life-changing all areas of my life. And the idea is, are you inviting someone into a relationship? Do you know their spouse's name? If they're employee, do you know what they like to do? If they're a child, you know, are you inviting them to hang out and have fun? Throw the ball around, play dolls, whatever, maybe, but then challenge is challenging. The responsibility. If their employee did they meet their sales numbers, did they get the report done by Friday? Whatever it could be. If they're a child, did they make their bed? Did they do their chores? How are their grades? Like? And so you've got this tension between inviting the relationship and then challenge and responsibility. And as you're talking about the different quadrants, if you're all challenged, no relationship, you're a dictator.

(10:26): You will get what you want in the short term. But then the top left quadrant is all relationship. No challenge. That's a cozy environment. We all have worked in an office where it's just cozy. Oh, don't worry about that report. We'll get them next time. Do it next week. And it's just, you know, no one's fear of getting fired, but a home that's cozy. That's a spoiled brat. That is entitlement where the parent says yes to everything. Yes. You can have another snack. Yes. You can do another sleep over. Yes. We'll go to the amusement park. It's just, yes. All the time. And, and that, those aren't healthy. But if you calibrate between imitation and challenge, just like Jesus did, even with the disciples, he said, come invitation, come and then follow me. And there's a challenger. Follow me. Do you know, do, as I say. And so it's that calibrating back and forth. So there are some times with kids, it has got to be that moment of a challenge. And you've got to get your things done. Don't talk back to your mother. Don't, you know, all this, but then there's, let's go have ice cream. How are you? What, how are your friends?

(11:34): Well, I said, this was not going to be all about all the things. Great things. You've, you've taught me. Although certainly there are many, I look at you as an incredible father. I see some of the things that you've done and, and some of the things you've modeled out, but also know you would say you failed. I wonder if you look back as your kids are getting a little bit older, do you point back to a failure as a dad that taught you a major lesson?

(11:56): You know, I, I, the one I constantly battle with is, you know, one, I'm a coach for a living and I'm always trying to help and provide advice, but also correct. And, and that's the, that's the biggest tension that I have in my house and I've had, and, but let's just say, it's, you know, it's been for the, yeah, I've been coaching for five years. And so it's really been in that time, because before that, I, I w I don't think I was speaking into their life as much and trying to do all these, but it definitely, and these last five years, it is making sure that I'm not always trying to coach. I'm not always trying to get them to do a devotion. I'm not always trying to, you know, have them kind of basically what I'm trying to get adults to do. And I do it out of love because they're saying, because I'm learning now that man, I just switched.

(12:42): They knew it. I wish they could do it now they'd be set for success. So that's one of the things that I have to work on the most. And unfortunately I have stories or where I've been challenged by one of my kids, which I'm grateful for that. At least I have the environment where they can say something. Yeah. I can think of a few different ones where my kids have basically in a way to try to get me to chill out. You know, like th this fall, this was a big one this fall, where I took my oldest to Pawleys island, South Carolina for a five capitals coaches summit. And we were there and we filled out swats, which is a big thing we do with clients. When they first get started, fill out a SWAT of the, you know, the kind of good, bad ugly is going on in your life.

(13:26): Anyway. So Kylie is my six year old daughter, soon to be 17. She does her SWAT reads it back to me. And I'm just like, this is so good. This is awesome. What a neat young lady. And I was just super proud. And it was my turn to read the SWAT tour. And, and when I went to read it, I was anticipating her being just wowed by how wise and cool. It's amazing. My SWAT. Yeah, it is not true. She just looked right at me after I was done. I kind of read it. And she just said, dad, you sound angry. Wow. I was like, what? And I mean, it crushed me. It crushed me because that's the last thing I want to do. I mean, I was happy. Yeah. We had just been on the beach. We were about to go on beach again.

(14:12): I was with my daughter. She traveled life was good. Good. And life was good. It's just, I spend a lot of time back to this ambition earlier. I spend so much time thinking about the things that aren't done yet on that to-do list that I don't care. What's done comments on there about like going after a second, but going after this, going after this and it's like, wait, wait, what about celebrating? The good that's happened? So starting that maybe not that night, but probably the next night. I, every night before I go to bed, I write down three things I'm grateful for. And I've been doing it since. And it has been a significant change in my outlook on life, on my, and a lot of high parents.

(14:55): Thank you very much for listening to today's episode. I hope you joining it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very much for others of you. You have not. And I encourage, if you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work. And what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read in the book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas and tips to help with your marriage. Third is parenting, and then last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional resource, I encourage you to check out my book went to home. First. It is available on Amazon, as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much.

(16:03): So the, certainly the second area of my life that you've had an impact is as a husband, I have a long way to go as a husband, as, as Nikki would profess, and really as a leader of your family, which I know is a lofty goal, it's a lofty statement. And, and we all fall short of that every day. And so there's just been some things as I look back on what, what you've taught me in leading your family, and one of those really can apply to leadership can apply to work, but you've talked a lot about work, rest rhythms with your family. And that's been impactful for me. I wonder if maybe we might talk through a little bit of that for other people to hear about. Yeah. I,

(16:37): You know, in my own life, just, there was a time where I was traveling all the time and I didn't have these rhythms set up. I just, I would travel Monday through Friday. I would come back and maybe we do a date night, but most often we were doing double dates and it just, it became this like hamster wheel. And I couldn't even get kind of caught up from arrest standpoint. And so when I learned this concept, you know, the pendulum work rest, and kind of even going back to Genesis where everything is created in seasons, you know, there's a season of we all know the four seasons of, of a year and there's seasons in a day and night, but there's also the season where we, we work hard and we've got a rest. Not only is that in the daytime, we work hard during the day and we sleep at night, but it's also week to weekend, but it's also seasonal based on your work.

(17:28): And so, as I learned that and how to apply it to my life, we started doing just that, where we book in things. And because it does a few different things, one, it gives the family something to look forward to. And so we are big on staycations and we'll plan it and we'll look and be like, oh man, this is the beginning of, you know, gymnastics or dance season. And we're going to just go hard and we'll have some, we'll obviously have some, you know, neat family things pizza night, or we'll do some things along the way, but it's a staycation where like, Hey, we have this to look forward to. So we're busy with school busy with work and let's, let's put this in place. And so what's fun is we have that to look forward to. And then when it happens, I make sure to, to celebrate it, to call it out, like guys, way to go, you finished the school year strong or dance was awesome. You know, for you, Kylie and McKayla, you were grey supportive brother going to all those and just really affirming your buddy. And looking back on that season from a reflective stance, it was not a big ceremony at all, but I at least we'll call it out at dinner and make mention of it. I

(18:34): Think one of the things I've learned from you is I tend to get, and if I'm listening to this right now, I'm like, oh man, I don't, I don't have the big celebration. I don't have the big idea. A lot of what I've learned from you, or hopefully it's approach small ideas. There's just structures. It's just like, Hey, we're going to take Sunday dinner and turn it into this one thing. Hey, we're going to take this holiday or this moment in our life where we want to remember that same thing every year, we're going to do a big celebration or a big to-do. Corey is not going to give a 15 minute speech at the dinner table. You've been super transparent with me. Like, Hey, typically if I try to teach a family dinner, it doesn't go well, but it goes. And so you've created these rhythms or traditions in your family that I've certainly taken from that. I'm like, oh my gosh, they're not going to be glamorous. And they're not going to be this like glorious dad moment. They are things that if we keep hitting that hammer, Nope, you don't hit a hammer. You hit nail, hit the nail with a hammer. Even [inaudible], haven't

(19:32): Hit a nail in a long time that if you just keep doing that, that it'll pay off over time. And you've got a couple of those that I, that I see that you've told me about that. I think, as a leader, your family, certainly with Holly, you guys have set some incredible structure in really small ways to drive home the importance of family and celebrating. Yeah.

(19:51): I think what's helped me and I don't do this. Perfect. And that's why I'll say this is I, I try things and if they don't work, I may go back and get frustrated and, and then kind of get back to my quiet time. And then it's like, I got to try something again, because there w would have been a time where I would have tried something. It didn't work. And I was like, screw it, you know, fine. If they don't want to learn the Bible, then that's on them. Or if they, you know, they don't, you know, they want to have ice cream every single night and no discipline fine. That's on them. And I know a lot of people because I want to talk to them, but I know I can get this way too, where we just get defeated and we're like, I'll forget it. And we just become passive. And once we become passive, then, I mean, we can always turn it back on. We can always recalibrate. But once you start finding yourself, checking out then, and just grab one thing and try it. And we're talking about like today, and I've been working at this. I mean, I hired Brandon, I think, nine years ago. So this isn't just like overnight success, not overnight success and is not even success yet. Yeah. I mean, there are things that are happening.

(21:02): So one of the things that, that last element that we spend some time on is as a leader and in business, I think the benefit I've told you this, and again, this isn't meant to be flattery. The benefit that you have in being in coaching is that you, you lead an organization and you are an entrepreneur. And so if you're working with people who are leading an organization or are entrepreneurs or both, you've had that experience. And so you can speak from a place of, this is exactly either what I experienced or what I'm experiencing currently. And I'm going to put you on the spot here. I didn't run any of these questions by your series so far. So good, perhaps the most impactful teaching from a business standpoint. And really, as I think about it right now, it could be from a family and parenting standpoint, but really early on in us working together, you walk me through this teaching on mark chapter one and the flow of that chapter and how it kind of mimics the flow of a season or of a year of life.

(21:59): And that that flow is that you cast a vision and then you engage the people in that vision. Then you go to battle and you get to work. Lastly, as you plan rest. And we've talked a lot even today about work rests as a family, as a person. And so I see that as an individual, as a family, but also as, as I try to lead our team and where are we in that? And one of the things you shared with me is if you look through Jesus's life, like he had such a rhythm of going and catching vision and then engaging people in that vision. But then he got to work and he worked hard, but in that work, you let God work. But then at the end of that, there was a rest that was taken so that the circle could start again by catching vision. But I think it's that that's incredibly powerful for me to hear, as I think about where I am in my season of life at work today, even as I'm saying that, I'm like, where am I right now? Do I need rest? I need to plan, do I have rest plan? Do I just need to go to battle in the battle? Am I letting God do the work? So I wonder as you, as you hear that, what, what you might share on that teaching

(23:14): The thing I would want to say to listeners today, based off that, teaching everything you said, you know, in that mark, where he goes into the synagogue and he starts teaching and doing work, which is his work right to spread the good news. And right then a demon possessed man walks in and that demon possessed, man, he's causing all, you know, havoc and, and Jesus quickly just rebukes him and just sends them off. And then he continues on meaning he expected it. He expected battle. He expected spiritual warfare. He expected pushback. And I think for all leaders right now to expect pushback on whatever you're launching, if you have any, if you're taking any ideas from this podcast, you're like, I'm going to go talk to my kids about doing a Bible study, expect pushback. You know, I'm going to be intentional and start dating.

(24:13): My wife now expect pushback, whether it's directly from your spouse or it's, can't find a babysitter or whatever it is, but expect that when you go to roll something out with your team at work, expect some pushback, whether it's direct or it's kind of schedule conflicts, whatever it is, and don't be defeated. But instead be out, Jesus was in the synagogue where he was confident, push it away and then kept going. And I think leaders need to hear that right now because we're tired. We have decision fatigue. We're just tired of all the polarizing conversations on vaccines and COVID, and this and that. And people are like, I don't want one more blow. I hate to say it. There's going to be another blow. And so expect it, but also to know that God is going to get you

(24:59): Well, I wonder, yeah. As I look back through our notes over the last four years, I was also a little bit embarrassed because there are a lot of things that we've been talking about for four years that I haven't made much progress on. And one of those that you continue to push me on is the idea of taking a step away, whether it's co plan rest is how it said here, but it's plan rest to catch a vision. And as, as a leader, I feel like it's my natural default. I've told you this over and over again is to sit down and get into the weeds, get into the tactics, answer emails that work, not getting to the place where I'm looking at, Hey, it's there or it's important, but it's not urgent. Yes, that's a, that's something. I literally looked back on our calls and it's the last four years it's it was on there for the first time we met.

(25:38): It was on there last week. And that for me is even as I was preparing for this, that idea of planning rest to catch vision. And when you walked through with me was Jesus. He went away to rest, to pray, to catch new vision. And if, as a leader, if I'm not taking time away to catch new vision, I'm just like over and over again, day after day, I'm not being as effective at leading people. You've taught me what is a vision leaks. If you're not a recasting vision, you're gonna ultimately end up with a place where people have lost that vision. So for me, that's been incredibly impactful

(26:12): Building on COVID we just talked about, and then decision fatigue, people need rest. And I'm talking to individuals where they're doing their first vacation in and because of COVID and 18 months or in a year. And so people need rest and rest does not just mean vacation, go to Florida, right? At all. Rest means change of pace and change of place will bring change of perspective. And so if that means change of pace in place means walking through the woods, slowing it down, not looking at your iPhone. If that just means doing something different, that takes you out of the norm of your kind of normal routine checking emails, the same drive you take to the office, the same exact same routine. If you changing that up and go get rest and do things that fill your, your soul up. We, we know whether it's, you know, listen to worship music, whether it's the hike was going to the gym, whether that's taken a day off, but at the kids, whether it is a staycation, whatever it could be, but it gets you out of the work. And what happens is when you slow down, you have these awesome revelations, you know, there's so many times when someone comes back with a, you know, a friend or a client, when they get back, I'm like, just out of curiosity, did you hear anything from God while you're gone? Yeah. And there's not always a huge aha. A lot of times there's something that comes alive. One

(27:36): Of my favorite stories, I was just thinking, as you were talking this last vacation that we took as a family, we had a call, right? Excuse me. Right before we were leaving on a Saturday is that Friday. And I shared with you, I was taking five books with them and I was so proud of the fact that I was taking five books. And you were like, don't do that. Like that's not rest. Like if that looks restful to take a book and read it for me, that that's wrestle. I don't get a chance to do that a lot. But your comment was, you're going to take five books. You're not going to get to read four of them. You might only get to read half of one. And then that's going to cause this overwhelm and stress and guilt, you're going to come back feeling guilty because you didn't get to read the books.

(28:13): It was like, oh man, that is such like, the idea of rest is not go throw yourself actively at something else it's to actually get rest, to, to bring vision. So as we come to a conclusion, just the last thing on the business and leadership standpoint, you model out vulnerability and transparency in a way that is really unique. Since the moment I met you, I think even as you read your book, you're incredibly vulnerable and transparent. That's been something I've had to learn as a leader. You typically your, your vision of a leader as someone who is kind of burying those feelings of inadequacy or burying the feelings of, I can't do this. I'm not meant for this. I'm tired. Those those get buried. And so I just wonder if you talk a little bit, you've you, you and I have talked so much about if I'm expressing an emotion to you, you'll say you told your team that you shared that with your team because they need to know, they need to know that their leader is feeling this way.

(29:08): You're still in the battle. You're still going to war, going to battle. You're still letting God work. But I wonder like where that came from for you has that a natural occurrence for you to say like, Hey, even as I am, as an entrepreneur, I'm going to be vulnerable in what I share in my book and be vulnerable and saying, I don't necessarily love self promotion, but I'm going to do it. I want to be vulnerable and sharing my weaknesses. Is that natural to you? Or is that an intentional action? You have to take to know that it's what needs to happen to be the, a, a better leader. [inaudible]

(29:39): It's for sure. Not natural, but I have learned the power of it. I just like anyone else. I mean, I want to look like I got my crap together and I'm the tough guy. I've, I've got it all figured out. Not many weakness, you know, hardly any weaknesses and have it all figured out. That's exhausting to live into that imposter self. I find to be exhausting. So that's, you know, one thing I know to be true. And when leading teams in, in, in corporate, there was a time where I was at trying to be that tough guy leader. And then people want to follow a leader. Who's real that they can, that's relatable that they know has their back. And if I act like I've got it all together and I'm perfect, they're not going to bring any of their concerns or, or brokenness my way because they're, you know, they're afraid I'm just gonna kind of shuttle.

(30:33): And so when at leading teams, I started to find myself being more vulnerable as leader. Now, I wasn't sharing everything, but you know, when I was in corporate, well, when it wasn't applicable, I mean, there's a time to be vulnerable on different times on applicability of things. But now, as I shifted in the coaching, I still choose what I'm vulnerable about. And when, but vulnerability is the speed to trust. And so if I can, if I find the right moments to say some things that are vulnerable, it opens them up. It makes them realize they're not the only ones struggling with this. They're not the only one having challenges and it there's trust. And then once you start getting trust, then we start building not only just a relationship, but progress because so many people just stay in this little cocoon of I'm the only one going through it. I'm the only one going through it, you know, poor me and they'll stay there unless they have a, there's a vulnerable leader in their life to get them to move

(31:33): Well. Yeah, you've modeled that maybe just to close out the biggest I would call. If I looked at a theme of the last four years of us working together, I remember you gave this talk, you're going to take five books and start reading them. And then you need to start working out. You're going to work out every day, every day, this week at 5:00 AM. You talked about habits, change that one degree at a time. And I think the phrase that you used with me at the time, it was like people don't wake up and cheat on their taxes. You know, it's just one degree at a time. And so they look up and they've gotten to a place whether I'm not in a good spot and vice versa, you know, one degree at a time where you're building habit just day after, day after day.

(32:07): And so for me, as I look back over the last four years and think it's just been maybe a half a degree, it's still so far to go. I just, I wonder if maybe you close out talking about that as, as a theory, as, as something that as people can say, like, gosh, I don't need to go be perfect tomorrow. I don't need to go apply these learnings that I get from Corey tomorrow. And my life's going to be, you know, game changer overnight. But it's really that like one degree at a time in both a good way, in a bad way to have the positive output outcome in your life.

(32:39): No, I'm not. I mean, I'm not the first one to talk about one degree. I mean, heck it even goes back to, you know, Paul talking about in the new Testament where by one degree we get closer to Jesus being revealed to the, you know, the glory of God where it's just at one degree, we are getting closer. And I remember hearing that that had an impact to me. And then when I look at my own life, it is just that the poor choices I made didn't just happen overnight. It was one degree. I was allowing my character to erode and you look at any great leaders, whatever they've done, the yeah, the, you mentioned taxes, whatever it could be or affairs or whatever it is, it just didn't happen overnight. So it's one degree. And so if you're listening to this and you've got a one degree going the bad direction, it's time to recalibrate, you know, it's, it's recalibrate, you're not defined by those mistakes.

(33:34): You're not, that is not who you are. You in fact can stop and course correct. And try to get back towards that true north. And so that's one piece of is going the wrong direction and we all have different habits that are going wrong. You know, drinking during COVID has all gone one degree a little more before people know it. It's like, oh, I'm really liking a few cocktails every night, you know? And I know I've, I've been guilty of that as well. So I've had to do my own course correction in that, but then taking anything that we've talked about today, it's one degree that other way where just build on each other and what happens. And that's why I'm an over swinger too. Like, you know, like you were even joking about yourself is if we over swing, we do it great for a week and then we stop and then we stop. And so the idea of this one degree is just anything that was said today. Just grab one. Yeah. Just grab one of it, give it a go. And then in a month or whatever the right duration is.

(34:37): Well, I wanted to just say again, not in an intention to be a commercial for you, but really from a personal standpoint that, that it's, it's not flattery. It's meant to be authentic, that I've seen incredible growth in my life. And again, as a parent, as a husband and as a leader, and I point all of that back to these learnings in these sessions that have had with you, whether they were planned or unplanned phone calls or, or zoom meetings or in-person. And so my hope today was for people to get to hear that. I think when I, when I'm around you and I see the way you, you not forced to, but you have to sell yourself and you can see the skepticism then, which that's met with, you know, executive coaching has a certain cache comes with personal coaching, has a certain cache comes with author.

(35:26): Speaker has a certain cachet comes with you, start to give advice. And immediately people are like, oh, he's going to ask me to be a client. But I just, for me, the impact that has had over time hearing, this is, this is just a little bit of what we've talked about over four years. And so hopefully what I want people to hear today is like, what does it look like? What's it sound like to sit down with Corey on a Friday morning and get a chance to hear some of these teachings from a vulnerable, authentic person who will operate with empathy and then have solutions to go attack. One of those, some of those things, one degree at a time.

(36:00): Yeah. Well, that was awesome. And very nicely. Thank you. I think just one reason I think has worked so well with you. And I is just that you're hungry to learn. Like a lot of leaders are hungry, I'm hungry. I mean, I'm pounding podcasts and books and all those things, just like everyone else. So I'm hungry to learn, like you took notes over our four years. Just like I took notes on my all my time with Brandon, but also you're humble to hear from other people and hear from me, you know, and those leaders out there that are hungry to learn, but humble to slide underneath someone's authority for a season, that's where things happen. That's where things happen. We we've got a, you know, there's enough kind of arrogant leaders out there that think they know it all, but things, things are moving with the hungry and humble leader.

(36:52): Awesome. Well, I don't know if I'm supposed to do the closing of the podcast. Maybe you should. Well, thank you so much, Nick. I greatly appreciate it. And to the audience. Thank you. As Nick said, time and time again, it's not supposed to be commercial, just supposed to just share additional tools and tips that are helping leaders that leaders need to hear right now coming out of COVID out of,

(37:14): You know, just, just all the negativity. Want to bring some positive into tips to help families work teams get headed up one degree closer to a true north. Awesome. All right. Thank you. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

(38:08): This is thepodcastfactory.com.

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