Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

In this episode, you’ll discover… 

  • The “Predictable Patterns Process” that lets you sneak in quality family time when everyone has a to-do list as long as the Eiffel Tower (4:33) 
  • How accidentally falling into different careers is the best way to pivot jobs (even if you try to live an intentional life) (9:38) 
  • The “Peace and Joy Parameter” that helps you figure out which career path God wants you to go down (14:58) 
  • Why moving cities without having both unity and clarity slowly sabotages your marriage (17:52) 
  • 3 simple ingredients that give your marriage crystal clear clarity (especially if your marriage is usually foggy) (20:11) 
  • The “Two-Thirds Income Rule” for quitting your job without worrying about how you’ll pay your bills (25:17) 
  • The weird way watching a captivating Netflix show grows your business (32:24)

If you’d like to learn more about Brandon’s coaching program, feel free to send him an email at bschaefer@fivecapitals.net

Are you crushing it at work but struggling at home? If you want to learn how to win at home, then go to https://CoryMCarlson.com and download your free copy of “10 Ways To Win At Home.”

If you're looking for a resource to help you with these times when your work is now in your home, check out my book Win At Home First on Amazon. Forbes Magazine rated it one of 7 books everyone on your team should read. 

Are you stuck in your business, your marriage, or with your spirituality? If you are, I’m launching the Prioritize Leadership Academy in April — designed to help you break through your financial, family, or faith-based rut. You can learn more about it here: https://www.corymcarlson.com/prioritizedleaderacademy/.

Read Full Transcript

Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Cory Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.

(00:24): Today's podcast. Episode is awesome. It is a brand and Schafer, who is my executive coach, who I hired eight years ago when I was in corporate America. And over the last eight years, I've talked with them probably every week, whether from a coach, client relationship or a peer or a friend. And the only problem in this episode is that it is too short. There's so much more information we can extract from him and we will with future episodes. But for this one, I want to focus on a few things. I know each of you are wrestling with whether you're clients of mine or you are just listeners and who are emailing in. And one of those is career change. He's had three significant career changes where he went from corporate America, and then you went into becoming a pastor and then to an entrepreneur launching a coaching company, five capitals.

(01:11): And so the thought process, he went through it, and I believe it can help you if you were thinking about a job change or even a career change for that matter. Also, we talked about ambition selfish, first godly ambition, and how do we know what pace to work? And when do we get frustrated? If it's not fast enough or it's just too slow. And so you'll find this conversation helpful as you are working and trying to grow something. And another topic we hit on is competition. We all have competition. And how does he personally handle working through competition? And so it's a fantastic episode and I hope you enjoyed as much as I did. Thank you very much. Hello. This is Corey Carlson. You're listening to win a home first podcast. Today is a, a special episode for me. It is interviewing Brandon Schaefer, who was my coach and, and still is to this day, but I hired Brandon man, believe it or not in 2013 I can't believe it's been that long. And that was when I was in corporate hired Brandon. So during that whole time, I I've just been a student of Brandon and getting to watch him lead myself, lead others, and to have him on the podcast is fun. So we're going for the 50th episode to get Brandon on here, which is a, which is a fun milestone. So Brandon, thank you very much for your impact in my life, but also for being on this podcast,

(02:37): Corey, gosh, 50 episodes. It's amazing what a great run and journey. It's been a fun milestone, great to celebrate milestones and honored, honored to be on the podcast today. No, thank you. What is that key trait that you believe leaders need to have in order to win at home? First? Gosh, key trait, you know, the, the first word that comes to mind is commitment. You just got to double down and commit to the home. One of the most powerful sermons that I heard about winning at home first came from a catalyst conference that I went to in Atlanta. And I can't remember who the speaker was, specifically. Someone like you know, Dr. David, Jeremiah or Bruce Wilkinson said, it's hard to stay at home and gave tons of stories. But he said, it's hardest at home, but you have to win at home. You have to commit to home. I think was the specific language he used and that's, that's never left me probably because it's just so true. And he told so many stories about bringing thousands to Christ and doing this amazing ministry. And then he'd come home and the dinner was burned. The three-year-old threw the spaghetti on the floor and the fire alarm went off at 2:00 AM. And man, I can just relate to that. And so to me, I've always just said, it's hardest at home, but the prize is worth the price and you got to commit, commit to it if, if you want to win, win at it. And so that, that would be my initial thoughts on that tray question.

(04:10): No, that's good. And I didn't say this at the intro, but you're, you're married and I've met TJ and met your three beautiful girls. How are, do you stay commitment home? I know some of the ins and outs of what you do, but to share with our listeners, how are you living out that commitment? What does that look like in your life?

(04:27): Yeah, so, you know, like, like you pre COVID, I traveled from time to time and so we've had to double down on it. It's quality, not quantity. It has to be because I'm just not around all the time. And so the, the, the word that's helped us is predictable patterns. We work really hard to have predictable patterns in the mornings and in the evenings whether that's breakfast time and prayer on the way to school with the kids in the car and you know, debriefing their day with each of them in the evening, even when I'm traveling, trying to get that face time. And that catch-up time is important. And then, you know, the, the classic daddy daughter date works, you know, they get to pick the breakfast place or the activity, or we have an opportunity to, to go out and have some fun. So we re really try to engage in predictable patterns and quality time in light of those predictable patterns where they feel loved, heard, and appreciated. And I've, I've got to leave, leave the phone in the car because I'm susceptible, you know, picking up that phone and looking at a waffle house when there's lulls in the conversation. And it's, it's not all amazing, you know? And so it's that consistency and predictability that's important.

(05:48): And so, yeah, sometimes it's just hard to have conversations with little kids. That's all there is to it. And, and so you're right. If we have the phone nearby we're to going to grab it, I'm going to take a look at it. And they noticed that they absolutely noticed the us looking at our phones more than they really noticed the lull in the conversation. You know, they just want our presence. What about for you and TJ with three young kids? How does date night and frequency? What does that look like for you guys? I know a lot of listeners have those young families and some listeners both are working. And so those date nights are tough, or whether if only one's working others say at home, it is just tough to connect with your spouse. But I know you and TJ are pretty, pretty good about, you know, doing those things. What does that look like for you guys?

(06:35): Yeah, so of course we, we enjoy date night. We love a night out, but it is hard for us. The word word for us with date nights is compromised. Opposites attract when the rubber meets the road, we, we do like very different things. I'm more of a, a dinner and a movie type guy. She's more outdoorsy, you know, so let's go to a park, let's go to the beach, let's go to a nature preserve we have. And you know, that, that doesn't really fire me up and vice versa. And so we kind of inside versus outside is our, is our differences. And so, so we've had to work hard on, you know, loving each other and respecting each other and honoring each other and in our differences. And so date nights tend to be a compromise. And, and now we try to do a little bit of both.

(07:19): Maybe we go get sandwiches and eat them at the park or, or something like that. But, you know, that is a reality for a lot of couples is you gotta, you know, give, give and take, even in the fun, even in the date nights, you know, w with, with COVID, you know, we've, we had to rethink both finances as well as activities like everybody has. One of the things teach and I have always had is a show. We've always tried to have a show that we watch, even when we were first dating, we found out we both loved, lost and lost was, was on. And so, you know, we we'd get together every week to watch, to watch lost. And we've consistently always tried to find a show, which is also a compromise with case and what we like, but that's been really good because sometimes you just don't want to spend the money or, or you can't go out all the time or babysitters aren't available. And so, so popcorn and a show has been a nice second set kind of plan B option

(08:17): For well I don't know if I want to admit it but we really liked Schitt's Creek. So yeah, TJ loves her comedies. We've watched desperate Housewives to Seinfeld, to friends. And so a friend told her about Schitt's Creek. You know, the best thing about comedies is they're usually 20 to 30 minutes and kids to bed by nine, we're ready for bed by, you know, 10 exhausting days with, with three kids under 10. So the shorter, the show, the better the option, oftentimes

(08:56): Shifting a little bit to your career. You have a fascinating career from the standpoint of spent time in Glasgow, Scotland with Motorola then came to Indianapolis for Eli Lilly, then switch gears from corporate, going into become a, an executive pastor with Southland Christian Church. And then in 2012, starting five, capital's being CEO. So just a lot of different experiences. And I also just received a text this morning from an individual who's thinking about switching jobs. So how has that look like in your life, Brandon? Cause they've been some, obviously some significant pivots. How has that look like in your life? Have you discerned when to step into something new,

(09:37): Great question. All my pivots have been accidental and unintended it's been inadvertent burning Bush moments for me. So, you know, some people look at my, you know, hindsight's 2020 and people have kind of said, wow, that that was smart. And that made sense. And all that kind of rolled up to what you're doing now. And, and all that's just, you know, I chalk it up to the hand of God. You know, I worked for Motorola in Scotland because I had a great Spanish teacher and I went to Spain for two weeks and I wanted to live abroad. That was my only agenda is I just wanted no thoughts to career or money or 401k. I just, I just wanted to live abroad single at the time. And so I found a job that I wasn't even interested or really passionate about, but it was it was overseas.

(10:24): And you know, Lily paid for my MBA when I was back in the States and I went to a Christian grad school and one week very intentionally in my quiet time God just showed up in a different way and just got the real call and conviction that God was calling me into ministry. And, you know, it wasn't planning it or expecting it just, just kind of a weekend March. And then when I was in ministry, I needed to pay some bills. And quite frankly, I missed the business side of things. So I started coaching CEOs on the side, had some opportunities met. Some people needed some help. And, you know, over time that grew to where I was spread way too thin. We had little kids, I was doing both really badly. And my wife just looked at me and said, you got to make a decision.

(11:13): You can't keep doing both. And and I just felt like, you know, this, this is where the trajectory and the passion and the, and the open doors were, were leading me. And so, you know, started five capital's kinda kind of by accident. So, you know, I, as you know, Corey, I try to be very intentional, try to be a planner in, in strategic, but funny enough, the big pivots of my life have really just been about, you know, following God's leading really, and trusting that there's going to be a safety net when I get it wrong or that he'll correct me along the way. And it's, it's the messiness of obedience that I think oftentimes the most fruit, but that means that we gotta be both humble and courageous. We got to create the space every day to, to honestly want to hear from him to trust that yes, his ways aren't our ways, but, but he knows better. And then to have the courage or the, or, or the folly to just have a go with what we sense, he's saying, and, and, you know, take a step, take a step along the way that that's been the kind of the reality of those big pivots from, for me

(12:25): It's great to hear some of the background, but diving into, especially like the Eli Lilly, one where you were at Eli Lilly, then you decided to go into ministry. Cause I have had guests on this show where it's been well, Chuck Mingo, going from Proctor and gamble to being a pastor. So he followed that corporate to ministry, but then there's been other guests, one coming to mind, Jeremy self, where he went from being a pastor, but going into corporate. So how did you discern that whole process for you to go into ministry? Like, did you seek wise counsel? Did you sit on it for six months? Like how did that work for those listeners that are processing a big decision, whether it's to switch careers altogether or just to switch companies?

(13:11): Great question. Well, a couple of things I'd say just as a caveat is all of its ministry in the eyes of, of God, you know, inadvertently, we can look at the senior pastor of a mid-size to large church and kind of feel like, wow, they're, they're probably closer to God. They're, they're an active ministry. God must be pleased with them. And that's not my theology. It's, it's about intimacy and obedience and God honors us and wants us to flourish and be alive regardless of where we're at. And, you know, the Bible is super clear. Favoritism is, is forbid. And I don't think God has favorites. And you know, Peter, Peter leaves fishing and goes into ministry. Isn't that industry interesting, but Paul is a, tentmaker his whole life. You know, he's an active business leader for Jesus, his whole life. And he takes 10 making wherever he goes.

(14:01): And so business can be a vehicle for ministry. Ministry can be your vehicle. And it really is a personal decision with good counsel of course, along the way for everyone to discern what their nine to five should look like. And in what context, looking back on that pivot from Lilly to active kind of local church engagement, a couple of things I would throw out there. Number one is in hindsight, just wanting to be full time in the things I was passionate about. And w with Lily the last year, my, my passion was it kind of ministry. Passion was only done in the margins. And so the grace for my other responsibilities just continued to go down and, and so that passion barometer, and I think that God does give you grace and that passion barometer goes up. You know, one of my favorite quotes is you know, joy is peace standing up and peace is joy sitting down.

(15:03): And so kind of watching that peace and joy barometer, God will use that to show what doors he's opening and where, where he wants you to, to go. The second one is I did have some encouragement. I did have people who saw me in youth ministry saw me teaching, saw me engaging with others in those margin spaces saying, man, you know, have you ever thought about ministry and good at that? You know, you, you seem really passionate and fired up about that way more than, you know, people would ask me about how you're doing. And that's what I'd talk about. I went talk about my, my corporate job. And so, you know, they would notice and they would pick up and, and, and they would and they would comment for sure. And then the last piece I'd say is, you know, just, just being in your Bible every day, you know, that was the season while I was especially in my Bible every day. And just this, just the conviction of Jesus's final word of the matter, therefore go and make disciples. I wasn't making disciples and didn't really feel like I had the opportunity or influence to make disciples and in my, my nine to five world. And so seeking out and figuring out how, how can I do that? As my main thing in light of the obedience, I felt like I was being led to was the big part of that.

(16:22): Very helpful. You were married during that time with TJ. What did that look like? From a couple standpoint of probably thought she's married a, a corporate guy and we're going to climb this ladder a lot. Like what Holly thought she was married, we got married. And then to say, whoops, James' plans. I want to get into ministry. How did that look? How were you having those conversations? Because I know not all of them were probably great just thinking of my own life. And so how did you just continue to have those conversations, maybe plan to see she'd give some legit pushback in something. I mean, how did that tension go in those conversations? Because I know you did not do it alone. You were married.

(17:01): Yeah. So, so thankfully I met TJ, you know, little later in life, late twenties when I was actively pursuing the transition. And the, the challenge we had is, is she didn't fully appreciate the financial implications of, of moving from one to the other. So she did witness me kind of downgrade cars, downgrade, house down downgrade lifestyle, which she, you know, re some of the consequences of that. And so those are harder conversations early days, or were around lifestyle and finances. But we have had challenges because we've moved two, three times now and I have kind of pivoted and shifted even since then. You know, we we've had to learn the hard way about how, how, you know, hearing from God works and mate, and marriage. And the two biggest mistakes we have made is we have moved when we didn't have clarity or unity.

(17:58): And then subsequently we have moved when we had just one or the other. So we had clarity, but we weren't United maybe on the timing or the location or how it would kind of look or map out. And so we we've had to learn the hard way to say with most decisions big. And in semi small, we have God, God works in our marriage by having super clear clarity to that, to a detailed level that she's comfortable with because I'm more big picture, she's more detailed. And then we have to have unity on implementation in timeframe as well, because I'm more of the pioneer. Like let's go yesterday and she's more let's kind of wait, let's think it through one step at a time. And you know, I'm already, you know, in the next town. And so I'm always pushing her to speed up.

(18:52): She's always challenging me to slow down. I'm always comfortable with kind of the big picture. She, she needs the detail and all that has created strife argument, challenge, difficulty moving too fast, moving too slow. And so our, our, our barometer has to be, do we have the level of clarity? We both ultimately have a piece about, and do we have a level of unity we both feel peace about, and then we've had to learn the hard way to, to respect each other when the other person doesn't. And that's where we're now at a place of, you know, regularly working it out. We're way better than we once were. But new situations come up all the time that test the clarity and unity as, as some of us both, you know, both of us have different, different convictions and ideas as those new situations arise. But the framework has helped.

(19:46): You mentioned times where maybe you didn't both have clarity and moved too fast. Clarity always seems to be a little bit ambiguous, a little bit foggy. What does clarity mean? It's time to go because I think some people would hear that and say, well, I'm never moving forward because I'll never have clarity. I don't know all next 10 steps. So when do you find clarity is all right, it's a green light. Now we can go.

(20:11): Yeah. So three things that take it a little deeper. The first one is, do we have clarity of vision? You know, we all know the proverb, you know, without vision, the people perish and our marriage certainly disintegrates when we don't have a common vision. And so whether it's, you know, super big picture about kind of just longterm big vision or whether it's, you know, should we buy this condo? It, you know, there has to be this clarity of vision of what the end in mind is, why we're doing it, what we hope it ultimately will look like we have to be on the same page of end in mind. And I think it's something God will give marriages. If you pray enough together and seek it out and think it through enough that that clarity of vision and each marriage has decide what's enough vision.

(21:00): And where do you need to press in a little bit more for Moses, you know, a land flowing with milk and honey was enough that, that that's what he needed to get him off zero for Paul. It was, you know, going to Rome. That was, that was enough. So clarity of vision the second one is peace. Do we all, do we all have a piece about it? Pieces? I think the most underrated, let Lisa talk about spiritual gifts that God gives Christians. A peace is not a, is not something that is automatic. It's a gift. God gives peace. I give you peace. I leave, leave you. And that word, you know, let the peace of Christ referee your hearts in Colassians. That Greek word is, is [inaudible]. And it literally means when you have peace go, when you don't have peace stop just like a referee.

(21:50): When, when they blow their whistle, we stop. And so do we both have a peace because peace sometimes will surpass all understanding we've made, we've made moves that people are like, you're y'all are crazy. All right, well, Hey, God's ways. God's ways. Aren't our ways. And we both have a piece. And then the third piece or the third one is is we, we are of the conviction that God is always faithful for a clear next step. And so we're always just asking ourselves, if we have clarity of vision, we both have a peace. Well, then what's the clear next step. Let's just take a step, take a step until we either get to our destination, the plan unfolds, we hit a roadblock and have to stop, or God pivots and shows us another way. So those would be the three things is his vision piece. And that next step that helps with that.

(22:49): Thank you very much for listening to today's episode. I hope you are enjoying it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very much for others of you. You have not. And I encourage, if you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work and what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read in the book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas and tips to help with your marriage. Third is parenting and the last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional, I encourage

(23:46): You to check out my book went home first. It is available on Amazon, as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much. All right. So now kind of moving down in your career when we start to actually get to know each other is you then decided that you wanted to leave the church Southland and then start five capitals. And you made this comment of you knew you were doing both things bad because you're doing everything in the margins. So how did that look of deciding with a young family to say, we're going all in, we're walking away from the salary where we're diving into starting a business from scratch pretty much, what was that process like for you and, and even they, the clarity and the unity. How did those pieces happen when you went from that corporate job to the entrepreneurial starting from scratch?

(24:35): Yeah. So kind of diving into that time a little bit more, you know, relative to the corporate world you know, the, the ministry pays much less, so we didn't have, we didn't have a huge salary hurdle climb and, you know, I've been coaching for about a year. And so I kinda, I worked with the church. They were very gracious in and out to facilitate a longer than just, you know, a two weeks notice transition season, kinda identify my success or get them trained up. You know, we, we had a couple months to kinda think that through. And so I hustled in that, in that two, three months to, you know, leverage referrals to kind of get out there. So, you know, my goal was to replace my income, you know, by two thirds, once I left Southland and then kind of grow it from there.

(25:24): So I, and I advocate that for most people of course, you know, there's never one size fits all, but there's, you know, it's a good strategy. I think we, we never want to depend on God's goodness in a naive or blind way that I'll just kind of quit my job and, you know, God will provide every safety net, you know, that that's not something, you know, presuming on God's goodness is not something I recommend. It's oftentimes a too naive and too quick strategy. And so when I left South and I had that two thirds income coming in and I felt good about my pipeline in my trajectory and events I had scheduled. And so, so you know, that kind of 18 month runway before I left Southland and then kind of went from there is kind of the behind the scenes. You know, every overnight success is 12 years in the making, you know, it's one of my favorite quotes, you know, we all kind of look at, we look at successes and we think, Oh geez, you know, how come that can't work happen for me? Well, we don't see, you know, all the things under the water that's been going on for months and years, you know, to prepare for that, that quote unquote over overnight success.

(26:37): Yeah. When I was doing a little kind of research, this is called you, no, I spent tons of time with you, but just, I want to about things I wanted to ask, I was looking and you started five gambles at 2012. I hired you in 2013. So here I thought you'd been coaching forever. We start the journey early. But what I found interesting about that is talking about a piece, like I didn't check references. I didn't, there was no landing page or a five day challenge that you were doing that instead. It was just, I just had this clarity of this is who I want as a coach for that moment. So it was just pretty interesting that as I look back on all the way back to 2013, so it's been a, been a fun journey. So I thank you.

(27:21): Yeah, absolutely. And just to quickly comment on that, you know, thankfully, you know, corporate background and, you know, had been coaching kind of on the side and formerly for a long time, but didn't formally kind of launch and incorporate till, you know, under 10 years ago. But I do think if you're not careful people focus on everything, but making doughnuts and you know, just get coaching was some, was one of the early pieces of advice I got just, you only have to be one step ahead of your clients. You've got a whole week to kind of research and prepare, just get coaching and the whole kind of, you know, just make doughnuts phrases that we can think about, Oh, well we need a website and we need business cards and we need to make the store window look pretty and we need nice tables. And it's like, Hey, actually just sell a quality product. You know, make sure you're putting it in first things first, just make quality donuts. And then over time you can get business cards and, you know, make your website nicer and buy nicer tables and chairs. I just find a lot of entrepreneurs work on the accessories as opposed to the main thing. And then they wonder why they're not further along or it's taking so long. It's because they've, they've just spent so much secondary energy missing out on the primary,

(28:43): Which goes back to what you said earlier. It's focusing on, on your passions last time I was in Paulie's South Carolina with you. We had this great conversation where we're both Enneagram threes, but some reason at times I feel on the more aggressive one, I don't know how to control some of my let's go forward as well as you do. And it was Garcia about growing the business. And I'm talking, thinking about this, do all these different programs, let's do this. Like, go, go, go. And not that you don't want to do that, but man, I got to tell you, it was a pretty good tar level set conversation that you had. And without sharing it all at this moment, while you to kind of share pieces of it yourself, but this idea of, you know, how you are a pioneer, you want to go, but yet you also have a pace about it that you're going, that sometimes is different than in than mine. And I love just to kind of hear you talk about that a little bit more and got to revisit that conversation. And really it was in light a lot too with making disciples

(29:48): Great. It was a great conversation and you know, a lot of what I shared, you know, unfortunately it's because I've, I've learned the hard way. And one of the lessons that I I'm trying to always implement and not have to relearn is just trusting of God's timing. And one of the verses that's helped me and God's gently disciplined me around is my yoke is easy and my burden is light. And there have been multiple times that I have pushed forward, worked hard. I mean, you know, you've got the story of the tower of Babel in the old Testament. We can do a lot on our own and even feel like there was a wind in our sails only to have it ultimately not work out or frustrated. And I've had multiple times when I've ran ahead, worked on something and then God just shows up with the right and better answer or opportunity.

(30:43): I remember I spent, I you know great examples. I spent months trying to figure out how to build a website on my own, and I'm not that technically savvy. And so I'm trying to figure it out late nights, you know, very doesn't look good. It looks very amateur. And you know, definitely just kind of on my own strength. And th there was more I could get into. And then of course, I go speak at a conference and I meet a guy and he says, I need coaching. I can't pay for it. I own a website company. Maybe we could barter. And it was just like, you know, it just the classic where God had been talking to me about trusting him, waiting, just focus on your craft, but in my, in my head, right, I just, I had to, and I needed, and it was not, yoke is easy and burden is light. It was, it was stress and striving. And I've had multiple, you know, I'm a slow learner. I've had multiple examples of that, where, you know, if I had just trusted and waited, God would have, would have revealed. And so I'm, I'm, I'm trying oftentimes to take situations like that as a pioneer and not have to have God reteach me.

(32:00): So knowing that it is a bit about faith and works is, you know, James talks about is, Hey, we got to have faith. God's timing those pieces, but we've got work to do so. How do you balance of your yard going to work, but maybe you're not going to be working the midnight hours anymore, building a website. So how are you saying, I just don't like physical boundaries, but just mental boundaries of,

(32:21): I do have a tendency to worry and wonder all the time, worry, wonder, and wander are three issues for me. And so I can, I can worry a lot. I can wonder a lot ideas, possibilities. What should we go for? And I can wander a lot, which is rabbit trails and sideways energy. The thing that helps me relax the most is forced focus on things outside of my, my, my calling or my ministry. My three-year-old helps me to do for, for, you know, forest to focus. She wants all my time and attention playing dolls, a really good movie or show that can kind of pull me in, gets me out of my head and my worrying, wondering, and wandering and physical activity forces me. So, you know, getting to my CrossFit classes, going for a run, a bike ride, all that gets me on my head.

(33:17): And what, and what I find is, is that pulls me back around to a healthier spot, or now I'm coming up with clearer ideas, more on the Mark strategies and more faith in prayer than in, you know, my, my stressed out self, you know, science helps as well. You know, Harvard business review talks about after 10 hours, you know, your productivity, you know, tanks, you, you're better to, you know, get to the gym or relax and pick it up the next day, you'll actually be more productive. And so those types of studies and research, as well as again, kind of learning the hard way of, of what really helps me detach and relax all has helped me in my rhythm and work work-life balance as well as as an extrovert. You know, I'm not going to rest well, if I'm just home all weekend and we're just kind of piddling around, you know, who are those friendships and, and who are those families that are going to be life-giving to me and get me out of my head, get me out of myself, connect with someone else's ministry and passion to remind myself that, you know, the world doesn't revolve around me and it's not all about my ministry and mission, and there's other amazing, great things God's doing in other people's lives that helps, helps to give me perspective as well.

(34:36): Yeah. Very helpful. One thing that I've always learned from you and continue to learn from you is I've said before, I think some of your contents the best out there, and, but there, you know, there are other authors out there there's other podcasts. I, we know the different gurus out there. How do you kind of control the comparison, you know, syndrome, or they're further ahead than I am, or their business businesses bigger than what I'm building. No, these are conversations you and I have, but how, how do you kind of wrestle through some of that to be content with God's timeline for your life and not focused on the other folks?

(35:15): Yeah, it's hard, especially with internet and social media, you know, everyone paints a really awesome picture. And even though, you know, in your head, that's not their reality. It sometimes doesn't make it any easier. What I've tried to do, especially in the last couple years is really double down on what is God calling me to what is my calling I'm responsible for? And what is the unique dent in the universe that you know, me and in my organization will hopefully make in the coming days, months, and years. And I find that the deeper, the conviction deeper, the ownership, the less tempting it is to, to look at other people. And for me, it's it's to disciple and make disciples. It's that conviction of Jesus's final word in the matter. And so how can we raise up an army of coaches that take biblical tools and frameworks that are biblical practical and results driven that bring about change and transformation.

(36:17): And you know, I know Corey, you work with a lot of clients that don't happen to have a strong faith or maybe a different faith. You know, we, we work with anybody and everybody, and you know, we're, our evangelism is through our impact and through our trust and our relationship and other coaches are more overtly, you know more overtly biblically based. And that's fine. So there's a spectrum there that we're, we're okay with, but that ownership, that ownership and that unique calling and what we bring to the world helps me to stay focused. The second thing that, that, that helps me is the few tiredness of competition. You'll never compete. There's always somebody that's going to be ahead of you. That can make you feel bad about yourself, someone that's behind you that can make you feel good about yourself and doing that just gives your power away.

(37:10): You're giving your power away to your relative perception towards other people. And the reality is, is that abundance mentality, there's, there's more than enough. And if we own our calling and contexts, then God will pave the way for that ownership to make an impact in the world. And so staying in my lane, owning who I am and the good I bring. And you know, if, if people can reinvent new ways to do taxi cabs, like, like Uber, if new candy bars can come in and new coffee types can come in and make a dent in the market. Well, then even if we feel like we're late to the game, it doesn't mean we're out of the game.

(37:49): Yup. The harvest is plentiful, which is a lot of times you even remind me as a, as I'm out there hustling and going, what do you hear from God right now? The first one, Corey, you, you and I have talked about it comes from acts three, where it says Peter saw his opportunity and that coming out of COVID. I just really sense the Lord saying to us there's opportunities that you should go for. And so we've rarely tried to pray and think through, you know, what are the opportunities that, you know now is the time, but let's capture those opportunities. That the second thing is in the old Testament and second Chronicles, chapter 25 there's not many good Kings in the old Testament, only seven. But one of those Kings Amazon, if I have the pronunciation, right, it says that Amazon did what was pleasing to the Lord. So he was one of those seven out of like 30 plus Kings. That was good, but then there's a catch. It says, but he didn't pursue the Lord wholeheartedly.

(38:49): So God was pleased, but he didn't pursue him wholeheartedly. And so God's been really challenging me to those things that I'm going after, you know, whether I'm discouraged or optimistic or whatever the day may hold to just kind of put my, you know, put my full shoulder into it to really go after those things wholeheartedly. So that's the second thing. The third thing is I'm reading a book by Mark Batterson, Corey, you know, that's one of my heroes and authors. Yeah. And so his, his recent book that came out when the day is a good word for me, I'm such a visionary, pioneer idea. But when, when the rubber meets the road, did I win the day today? Did I win the day with my wife? Did I win the day with my kids? Did I win the day with the best priorities that I could focus on because you can't get it all done. And so that's been a word, more of conviction rather than inspiration.

(39:49): But those are the three things that, that have hung on since the beginning of the year, see the opportunity wholehearted. And and, and when the day I would, I would Is your quiet time every morning before the kids get up or, or do you find a different time? Cause I know you spend lots of time in the word. When do you find the best for you? I have aspirational quiet time. And then I have reality, quiet time, aspirational versus actual. Yeah,

(40:20): My aspirational quiet time is five 30 to six 30 and that's not, you know, a whole hour in the word. That's just, you know, that's my time. We wake up the kids at six 30, but if I can get up at five 30, grab a cup of coffee, have 20, you know, 20, 30 minutes to myself get ready and then kind of get the family going that's that that's aspirational. And I'm inconsistent in that right now. Otherwise it's between seven 30 and eight 30 either at home or at the office. I try not to start any meetings until nine kids after being in school at seven 30. And so it, it happens on the back end, which is the, which is the easy, easy way. And maybe I'm too achiever. Maybe, maybe God's like, I'm not calling you to get up at five 30. That's your own, you know, ego thing. I probably need to pray into that a little bit more, but there's, there's the ideal in my head for what it's worth. And then there's, there's the reality.

(41:17): Yep. That's great. Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Thank you for all the time we've spent together over the years. It's just been, been fantastic. What's the best way for listeners to get ahold of you? Yeah, probably just email me, you know, B bShaffer@fivecapitals.net, the S C H a E F E R at at five capital's not net. Just, just shoot me an email or go to a website and shoot me an email five capitals.net. Corey and I are both both on there.

(41:46): That's right. That's right. Well, this has been a, this has been fantastic. So thank you very much, Brandon, for sharing the wisdom with went on for his audience. Absolutely great, great to be on and love everything you're doing. Corey. God's got ahold of some great things and no doubt, tons of exciting adventures in the future. So grateful to be on the journey with you together. It's awesome.

(42:09): Thank you. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website@coriumcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.

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