Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to run a business with your spouse or partner, this episode is for you. Differences in mindset, goals, or financial priorities are just a few of the many hurdles that must be overcome when working together.

In this episode, featuring Corey and Shelley Peterson, Ray and Christy dive deep into these issues and many more, providing advice and solutions for creating a stronger business and relationship.

Show Highlights Include:

  • The first and most important mindset shift you must make when beginning your entrepreneurial journey (5:00)
  • The secret to working together successfully as a couple (6:30)
  • How to combine your strengths with your partner’s strengths to exponentially multiply your results (16:11)
  • Is it possible to balance two “alpha” personalities in a partnership? It is if you do this (19:37)
  • The importance of knowing when to turn off the business side of your relationship (23:51)
  • The counterintuitive method to stop failing to meet your goals (27:56)
  • How to share difficult things with your partner without hurting their feelings (43:20)

Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to http://bothonboard.com/ to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.

Read Full Transcript

Hey, I'm Christy and I'm Ray and our passion is to inspire entrepreneurial couples to co-create the life and business of their dreams and enjoy the ride together. We built three successful businesses. We have a beautiful three year old daughter and we pride ourselves on living a life by design. And our goal is to help you do the same. Are you ready to take your relationship, your health and your wealth to the next level?

00:47 Hi everyone. We're excited to connect with you today. Today we want to share with you a podcast. Me with our good friends, Corey and Shelley Peterson. This was our our first two, one, two. They also work together. They have a bunch of multifamily property as well as student housing and they work together. I mean, it was funny, you know, to go back and forth and really connect with them. We do a lot of business with them and again, just great people, great souls. You can catch their podcast over at multifamily legacy podcast. He's also known as AKA the big kahuna and baby. What did you get from just high level talking with Shelley and just connecting with other great couples who are really doing big things in real estate?

01:24 Well, I think not just in real estate, I just, I, for us it's more the family side of things and the running things together and the day to day stuff and that's what I love talking about because business is is going to be business, but when you can really integrate the business and the personal and have this synergistic environment in the office, out of the office with your kids, with friends, it just, that's what we love so much about this whole thing. That's why we started both on board and we're just really excited to meet more people. The more people we meet, we see how much we have in common. And although our stories may be different and our details may be different in our wants and needs may be different. At the end of the day it's all the same. We all want happy days and looking forward to the fun things in life and making things worthwhile and enjoying the ride. And I think that's the biggest thing that we're learning from all these people that we're connecting with. So I'm super excited to have you guys here, this conversation with Shelley and Corey and we hope you enjoy it.

02:20 And one last thing I wanted to add because she, not only did they, are they crushing in real estate, but they're crushing it in life together. They've got kids in school. One of the big things I took away, baby, is they have kids in college now and they want to, it's important for them to be at the football games and the basketball games and look, we're not going to travel. We're not going to do business if the deals are out of the area. So they center their life around what's important to them and what their priorities are, when not, which I think is huge and not just the kids and the family, but also the health, right? Working out to get us. So how do you crush it in all areas of your life, health, spirituality, faith, money, family, everything. Because again, health, you want it all. So it's nice to have other great couples who are doing it together and enjoying the ride. So it's always more fun together. That's it. We hope you guys love it. Give us some feedback when you can and we love you and appreciate you and we'll see you next one. Hey everybody. Welcome to the [inaudible] legacy podcast. I'm your host, Corey Peterson. I'm actually here with my wife today. My lovely wife say hi Shelly. Hi everybody.

03:20 We really have a special show for you today because I believe we're going to talk about real estate, but not in a way, different ways than we normally do because we have some amazing guests, but I think you're going to want to hear their story. And this is almost called, I want to call it the relationship show. Today I want to bring on Raymond and Christie Gonzalez with summit home buyers. They have a really cool podcast called both on board. And really it's about we're going to have packs, their journey as how they became kind of husband and wife. How do we manage this thing called business gets in the way in the relationship and how to keep that home life healthy and strong. So guys, welcome to the show. Okay. Thank you for having us. So you know, unpack your story a little bit, kind of give us your background and who you guys are and, and you know, how you guys met and how you got into business and all that stuff.

04:12 Okay. So I guess I'll start. I was prior to us becoming an item, I was a fourth grade reading teacher for five years and then 2008 we met and I was actually around the time of the whole real estate correction. So he was still, he was already in real estate, he can say his side later. But I was a teacher and I was happy and I also saw how his lifestyle was as an entrepreneur, as a business owner, being in real estate. And little by little I started to just get really interested in that side of the life, like that side of the business and helping him and doing all the things that he was doing on his own time and on his own schedule. So coming from an employee mindset into an entrepreneur mindset, I think is one of the biggest shifts that I had to make from 2008 to present day that we now have our business together. I am no longer a teacher. 2012 I decided to retire from teaching.

05:05 Yeah, I mean, listen, the whole teaching world is missing you right now. I know.

05:11 I miss it too. I still miss it and I just, you know, we can go deeper and deeper into the story, but throughout all these years, just seeing the impact that, you know, obviously teaching is very impactful career and I loved it and I got so many great memories and things out of it, but just the fact that we've been able to kind of merge our worlds and I was able to become, you know, his sidekick in real estate and seeing all of the growth that we've done in the last 10 years has just been super awesome. And just doing it together I think was our favorite part, which is why we started the podcast, which is why we're so passionate about, you know, meaning like minded couples like you guys and just seeing how we can all make it work and how, how, how it's just so much more synergistic when you're doing it together.

05:54 Right. When you're working together, you obviously lived together, you got together, you're doing it all together. It can sound a little all right. That's what I'm saying. People look at us like we're insane sometimes. And I'm like, okay, yeah, you could look at it that way. But once you, we got our stride, once we figured things out together and we figured out what works for us, which is important cause sometimes you want to copy somebody else's model or somebody else's thing. And that's absolutely not our message on our podcast or even on who, you know, what we talk about day to day. Like it's not about set formula, it's about figuring out together what works for you. And that's really our biggest message and why we're excited to continue on this journey together and grow and learn and amazing people like you guys. It's your side now.

06:43 Just that, I mean we wouldn't, we've been doing real estate. It's all fine. I did a corporate, I did a GE corporate for, I graduated from here, from Miami, born and raised and I went to Stanford, Connecticut number seeing the cold, right, lower middle income. And then you go up there and you work corporate for two or three years, about 70, 80 hour work week plus school on top of that because they were kind of grooming you to be CFOs and hated it. I was miserable. I finished the rotation program and then I started investing in some multifamily and up in Connecticut and I said, you know what, I want to get back to Florida, back to family. We sold most of the holdings up there, came back down here and then, you know, we couldn't buy multifamily down here. So I'm fixing and flipping and wholesaling and then kind of old seven Oh eight, I kind of saw something coming mostly we didn't have a whole bunch of, we sold most of the everything and we're just wholesaling, so said, you know what, I don't really need to do this.

07:31 I started just taking a little time off. So when she came into my life in Oh eight, I was already in a pimp, my life stage, you know, I already had sold everything. I was living on South beach playing semi pro beach volleyball and working out like I was more of a season just to kind of unwind from me from the, from the old four Oh eight going hard, you know, 1516 hour days. I think one of the things for us, at least for me, has been seasons to life, right? There's a spring and spring, you're planning, right? You're, you're, you're, you're working, you're hustling for lack of even not, I don't, I'm not a fan of that word, but you're putting in a time you're, you're planting, right? Really the ward there is planning and it's, you know, you're learning how to plan, especially if you're new.

08:08 And I think that there is no substitute for that spring season. If someone's life, they just gotta do the work, right? I always say like, you're going to sprint in marathon, right? Sometimes in life you got to really spring and you got to put in some time, but you're really going to learn how to marathon. It's that long journey. How do you sustain? That's really super important and that's what you guys are talking about there. Let's talk about, so we'll finish, finish that story. So then yes, all H she comes into my life and then you know, she's a school teacher and then we really, there was a disconnect in the relation, really couldn't connect to each other and I've always wanted to do it with someone. Right. So she got into a, like a multilevel marketing thing called ACN. Well, dang, you know, she's going to hustle and I will seeing her, like get her hustle on, on doing that. And I go, babe, we could do that and we could pay those 10,000 hours there or when you come into real estate where I've already paid 10,000 hours and we could do it differently. So we went to a date with destiny in Australia with Tony Robbins, and then she chose to quit her job. You know, what was that like? You said, I'm going to quit my job. Is that were you, I made that decision.

09:06 It was literally the two weeks before school started in August of 2011. And like three days in, I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do but I don't want to teach anymore. I mean it was like, okay, what's next? He was like, so then we, you know, little by little we started talking about it

09:20 Like super invigorating, like, like to make a decision like, like yeah, and scary. Right?

09:28 That's scarier. I was like, it was both. It was, it was very exciting and it was also scary and like my whole family is pretty much teachers and, and that whole employee might even know what an entrepreneur really was until basically I met him. I was like, what? What is that? What do you mean you just work for yourself? You make money when you sell the deal and that's it. Like you don't have anything to anyone to answer, do anything. So it was a big mindset shift for me and [inaudible] it's like you're born Christy. Yeah. It was like awesome. Die. And now you're looking forward to the new you and I can totally relate to your story because I was right there with you girl. But yeah, I mean, but I felt a little bit sad, right? Yeah. But I went down kicking and screaming. I didn't want to jump into business right away. Oh no, sorry. Yeah, carry on. Carry on sister.

10:17 I think it's interesting on both of our sides as you guys like Hawaii, but for us we had never done a big long trip. Like it was 21 days went like four or five cities in Australia.

10:27 I don't know this for, I don't want to speak for it, but I think that also like she looks back and saying, Hey, what I was making as a teacher, there's no way we could have afforded that was a one year styling was that trip. Right? So I think it was like, well, we will really want to do this like this then, and there's just, you know, we want to adjust. We can adjust our income to fit the lifestyle I want, not the other way around. Right. I think give what you want. It only run with wanting nice experiences. I mean for us it's more about the experience than it is about the actual material things. At this point in our life. So why not? Why not have both? Yeah, that's really cool. And now you guys are doing, what do you primarily do now? Like what's your guys' roles now?

11:00 So right now we're, we're basically in the lending space so we just lend money to operate or to, you know, people that used to do what we used to do, which is we have a prior to that and talking about the seasons, I think that was once I retired from teaching, I didn't quit. I retired and then we started the business and we started going into it, fix and flip. We started buying rentals, we started, we thought the whole thing, a little bit of all of it [inaudible] the office. And then once we had our daughter, which was in 2016 it kind of, we shifted gears completely and we weren't then in that season of okay, what can we do now to make things a little bit more passive, a little bit more like free time, like the lifestyle

11:45 You guys went back into the wholesale business that really built up a bunch of rentals. Right? And so, you know, you kind of take a and then say

11:54 You're quitting. You're like, I want to go real estate full time, I want to live this entrepreneurial life. So you guys both say, Hey, let's jump in, let's do it, the amount of whole mass of properties and really put some work in then and then you have a baby and it changes everything. And you know what to like I think. I think with going back to the seasons and I do stop being fun, like having team, like she used to, she used to kind of run the people. She used to kind of be the CEO and deal with the people. You don't feel like office space because I'm not going people. Right. You know, so it's like I didn't want to view a managing people. I liked, you know, where the sellers are. Right. Managing money. I like that. I didn't like dealing with the iPhone employee and staff and she would help and then like kind of once she listens, she knows how to.

12:35 Yeah. Yeah. And once, like once she left, no, I wasn't to that role. Plus everything else. And it just stopped being fun. And so I said, you know what babe? Let's just, it was her idea to say, Hey, let's shut it down. It was tricky Corey. Cause my support idea though too. Yeah it's working. That's a bold idea. That was the hardest part. Walking away from something that was actually making us money. 40 lifestyle too, right? Yes. We were netting seven figures a year on the fix and flip business, but it was a lot of, I mean it's a rabbit hole. It's an endless rabbit hole. And luckily, you know, we had some rentals, they had appreciated and valued. We were cash flowing them and then we sold everything, closed it all down. And then we tried to, you know, from that capital started, you know saying Hey, you know, how did we get on the other side and start being more on the money side and you know, work deals together and just free up our time.

13:25 So you got millennium space. So that's an amazing story by the way. So like I think there's a lot of real estate professionals out there that get into this game and they go, even as they started holding stuff, they realize that they're not buying for it. They're always just flipping. Right. You guys had a, you came up with a bigger vision, which is let's have lifestyle and the solution was they live so everything and let's just, we now have money, let's lend it, let's understand that model. So that's a whole new model to learn too. Now, how'd you guys do that together? How did that become, does that play on your strengths, Freeman or is that, yeah, I think early on we were, I mean I was brand new to real estate, so I had to learn everything quickly. I remember one time we were actually working from home.

14:05 We actually, when we decided to start our business, we actually moved in together that same weekend. It was actually Thanksgiving weekend, 2011 I got home and I told my mom and my grandma was like, we're going to start a business. I didn't tell her yet that I was going to not teach anywhere, but it's like, Oh, we're going to move in together. And my mom was like, what? Excuse me? So that was a big thing. It was moving in together. So learning how to live together, work together, and then, you know, build this, this dream that we had. And initially we didn't have the lending insight. Like our goal was we're going to get all these rental properties and then we're going to live off the cash flow and it's going to be so amazing and beautiful. And then that turned into, okay, this isn't how it's working out. Like grace said. Yeah, our tenants are not cooperating with our spreadsheets that say that they're going to pay. So that's

14:52 When, that's when we just like the whole, just being, I guess it's agility or resilience, flexibility, like we were able to see, which is how we've been able to just transition, not quickly because it's actually taken us two years to transition to this place that we're at now. But being able to, to transition and say, okay, you know what? This isn't working. What can we do to get to the next phase and what can we do and doing it together. When you talk about the doing it together thing, at first we were doing everything together, right? Like he would go to appointments, I would go to appointments, he would cold call and then he was like, he would tell me to cold call. I'm like, I don't want to cold call. So what we learned from that was what are our strengths and what are our weaknesses?

15:28 What I am really good at, he's usually not good at it. And then vice versa. So what we started to see was, okay, he's good to being the front man and going and seeing the sellers and dealing with the vendors. I'm good at putting the contracts together, doing the research on the property, closing the deal, you know, doing the closing tracks like I, you started to see what we, we each put all the detailed behind the scenes stuff. It's critical. And so when we realized that, like it was almost like a Lego, I was like, okay, so this is my lane and this is your lane. And then when we come together, like that's where the magic happens. Obviously. Like he would say like he would tell me at the beginning it's like, Oh if it was for you it wouldn't close any deals because I didn't like any deals that were a little bit hairy, very conservative. And then I was like well if it was for you and we buy anything and lose money and we're not doing that, we're not losing money. So really coming together and I think opposites attract in relationships. So I think for the most part at least. And so really getting clear on what each of us was great at and then working off of those strengths. How do you flex there?

16:26 How do you fight fear?

16:29 I was going to say, I'm not going to say well I mean we don't fight cause I always win so it doesn't,

16:36 Great question. I think that, I think at this point Corey, like you, one of the things that most proudest about us working together is how cell phone works. She is, and I'll talk about where I am, where like if she's saying something to me in the past I would fight it. But now I'm like you, she's calling me on something. And the reason I'm like, like not listening to it is because I'm fighting it. I'm fighting it and there's some truth to it. So I've learned over time, like, all right, what is she like? She'll say this person, Hey look, this person wants to go alone. Raise a bee borrower at best and why are you trying like, and I'm like, maybe I was, I'm so like in love with the print. You know us, you turn off the mess, right? Man. Maybe he's a good dude.

17:09 You'll figure it out. Great. But look at the results paid late a few times. Like look at the, look at what's actually you. You know what I mean? And sometimes I'll miss that and go, you know where she's right? Yeah. She's so, so just knowing that's her friend, being able to read people, knowing what nor, and then her knowing what my sense. All right. You know, a lot of personality testing, you know, this Colby unique ability. If you guys are working together, I definitely recommend those personality tests. You can figure out who's good at what and then how do you actually work with each other and allow iron to sharpen iron wall. A lot of us won't allow that because it sucks sometimes, right? To hear that, Hey you're, you're falling short as a dad or Hey, you're falling short in this other area or life. Dang, it sucks. But if she's not, you know, I'd rather her tell me then than not know. And then you know, like, right. So, and these talks probably happen daily if not weekly between us. Hey babe, you're falling off over here. It's just a constant and it's not like,

17:59 Hey, someone's,

18:00 You would like, this is not what you say you want. Let me help you get there. And vice versa. Hey babe, you said you were going to go to yoga this morning and you didn't like what's up?

18:07 Right? So

18:09 Said Corey, never. Yeah,

18:17 Yeah, I probably cut you. They didn't go into your bar class. I mean, it's fascinating to me because when I listened to both of your roles where we talk about business, I want to say that personally, I struggled in that area. What would I be more valued at in the, in the business? Now again, I went down kicking and screaming. I come from a corporate America background, district manager in a pharmaceutical company. I'm an alpha. I mean, there's no doubt about it. And Corey's an alpha. So how do two alpha dogs get along in the same court? So again, it's going back to your, I say it like this, not staying in your lane. I just say, no, your role is shut your hole. So that's how Obama kahuna rolls. So, but when you talk about the specific duties, I am the closer I am, the one that, you know, Herb's in the, you know, call it herding cats, aye playing our event. You've got the money. I collect money,

19:13 We raise capital, I get them all ready. And they said, get them to say yes. And I'm like, no, you gotta be able to show you. And so he works with an extreme aggression. Very intense. No, I want to see Asian mess around, man. I'm like, she don't play. Yes, she, she thinks you mean it.

19:34 Well it's, it's either you in or you're out and no hard feelings, but don't tell my husband. Yes. And then you're having reservations. So if that's something you need help working through, I'm not going to, I'm not going to push you for, for me to take your money if you're like, we don't want it. You're right. So we always say, don't chase capital the capital. We'll come to you. But I'm very specific on what I need from each investor. Right. I need this paperwork done. I need this done on this specific date. So Corey, I don't know how you used to do it, but you did

20:10 How we used to manage properties, but it's like, you know what I mean? As part of it, then you get someone that you can trust and this cause really the relationship when you don't know is your spouse. It's really about trust, right? I've got to trust that she knows. And then trusting communication

20:28 Because

20:29 There's no one that I know has my back better than my wife. But sometimes I'm like, what the hell? Right? Like you got me like you have the what the hell moments and you're like, Oh, you're right. And then I sleep. All right, so I'll just shut up and go back to my office. Like I'm about, I'm playing

20:48 Chess here. You're playing checkers, you know? And so I, and I've, I've learned it, I've learned to let go. And so because I'm a strong entrepreneur, that's really hard. I think there's a lot of listeners out there thinking about like when we have spouses that come in and they want to be part of your business, right? To let go his heart. Would you, would you guys agree that it was hard for us?

21:09 Very difficult. And I think one of the things that keep kept coming up as you guys are speaking was for us, one of the biggest learning lessons that we had when we did have the office and we had employees in the office was we had the come to the agreement that even though we were both, it was our business and it was our, you know, everything was ours. There has to be one chief, there has to be one person in charge that at the end of the day there is no mommy said this and daddy said that. And we saw that early on with a couple of people and it was like, okay, this is what we're going to do behind closed doors we can discuss and we can talk and we can all that. But in front of the office, face to face, we're guilty, he is in charge and whatever he says goes and if that's what he says, then that's what we're doing because it was obviously very difficult for me cause they were times where I was like, great,

21:56 Does this sound familiar? Sounds so familiar.

22:00 But that helped us tremendously with all of the, you know, day to day stuff, even with the tenants. Oh. But I spoke to ms Christie and she said this and I'm like, wait a second. Like that [inaudible] me too. Like when they say, you know, when they try to push pit us against each other. And it was like, and that was one of the things that we learned early on, especially with the tenants, with the vendors and with our team members. Like it was like raise in charge. And if that's what Ray said, then that's what happens. And if later on I have to go behind closed doors and be like, what the heck were you thinking? Are you crazy? And that was happening.

22:30 It's just like your parenting, it's honestly like, like you wouldn't want to fight in front of your kids, so you got to pull back and be like, Hey listen week, we got to agree. This is how we parent. We do it this way. Right? Yeah. Great. Okay, now we're solid front. Let's go back to doing what we do. But it really, businesses just like that, especially with your spouse, right? [inaudible] Like listen to people out there, they're are listening. I'm sure you've screwed this up. We've screwed it up. Oh yeah, we screwed up. We still screw up sometimes. Like gosh, we just did that in front of our people. Right. And then we're like, let's not do that again. No. And, and it really, but your employees actually want that. They want you to be that unit. Right. And they understand that you're going to have your look, your lapses, they love you anyways is what I found. But they like it when there's clear, concise leader in charge. Yup. Yup. Yeah. I totally agree. Yeah. What other obstacles would you guys say that you guys have had to overcome in working together?

23:31 I think the biggest question that we usually get is how do we, that's separate but like draw lines. Like okay, this is business time, this is personal time, this is, you know, and over the years. Yeah. Like when do you turn off when you turn off the business? And for us, again, preachers

23:46 On do what works for you. And figure it out. But for us, like we just don't turn it off. It's, it's all part of the cause we don't turn off either. I like to turn it off. Well that's the thing, like there's moments where it's like, you know what Ray, I can't, I don't talk to me about this right now because it's not [inaudible] if you want to send me something, send us an email. If it's not normally everything's urgent for raises. Oh yeah. Hey, they knew what's going on. But we have set times, Hey they've on this meeting every week we meet on finances. Hey babe, your top money went out when he went in. Here's what we're doing with this or we're doing that. Right. So there's, there's scheduled times and yet if someone, there's something came up, we just talk about it. Yeah, I find that sometimes I'll be like, like we're going on walks, right and we're holding hands and walking their dogs.

24:34 And then I'm like, she was like, sometimes I get, I get ideas in my head at the, and I'm always like building. I'm always building my business. I, I tear it down and then I rebuild it. Right. I do this 10,000 times a day and then I just want to share it with somebody. Right. And unfortunately, you know, Shelly gets the blend of all my ideas and they're not always good. Right. But that's, that's my role. I am that visionary and I'm the integrator. So as an integrator of my mind totally goes to wow crap, how am I going to build this app? Like step-by-step. Yeah. Cause he's a white, he has a white rabbit chase in son of a gun. I tell you what, this man go, you really want that or is that something that you just thought of? Is it really going to work out?

25:21 Does it fit your lifestyle? Yeah, that's a good idea over here. But is it actually like, think about it a little bit more and then like, you know what babe, that's going to require a whole bunch of other stuff. So I don't really want to do right now. You know what I mean? Yeah. No, no doubt. Well. What's cool about this podcast is going to come out I think right after the new year. And so what are you guys done for like planning for 2020 did you start that awhile back or like what do you guys like, how do you start planning your goals, life, business and all that? How does that work for you guys? Well, this whole thing was our end of the year kind of thing. We started in September and we just finished 75 hard. And you guys did it together, which similar to what you were saying, like Ray started at like four or five times throughout this, the beginning of the year.

26:07 And he just would fall off like seven or eight times. Yeah, like literally like every week he's, okay. I'm starting. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm like, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to commit when I'm ready to commit. And then finally I was ready and we finished for the holidays. Well, right before the holidays, so it was perfect. Right. And then we actually just did, we just recorded a podcast. I think it comes up tomorrow. No, not last week. [inaudible] New year's stuff. This whole same type of, just what you asking. One of the things that for us was, was amazing was the fact that we did more towards end of the year. Then we

26:44 Did the whole like doing 75 hard committing to 75 hard, which if you look it up, it's like a bunch of stuff every single day for 75 days and it actually laid this really strong foundation for us that we didn't have toward the beginning of the year. In the beginning of the year was there was a lot of chaos. There was a lot of back and forth. There was a lot of like, we were confused, we were lost, we didn't know what to do next. Like it was, there was a lot going on, but there was nothing going on at the same time. You know what I mean? And now come September, we start this, this commitment, right this and we said, and we did it together so it wasn't, you know, like, Oh let's see what happens. It was like, we're doing this, like we're finishing this. We were actually on vacation at the beginning of December and st Thomas, and it was the last day of our, of our vacation was the last day of 75 heart.

27:25 And so we spent the whole vacation doing the things that we needed to do to complete this right. We were like on day 70 way we can, we can't stop now. And it just laid such a strong foundation for us that that's what inspired us for last week's podcast for example, was [inaudible] laying that foundational stuff before, you know, getting to January 1st for example, like January 4th first. Everybody has a bunch of stuff that they want to commit to, but if you have to look at where you are and then start building that foundation little by little, because if you commit to something like 75 hard, but you're, you know, you don't, you never walk, you never drink water. Like if you, if you're an EC, so opposite on the other end of the spectrum that you're going to start something crazy like this. I'm not saying it won't work, but laying that foundation and seeing where we call it, Ray calls it the gray zones.

28:07 Like where are you great. Like where are you not? Is it your health, is it your relationship, is that your business? Is it your parent? Is it your relationship with your kids? Is it your like relationships that are going bad in your life? Like what are those couple of gray areas that you can look at and start there and like don't just say everybody's going to the gym January 1st I'm going to go to the gym January 1st they can do even like the gym cause I don't like going to the gym. Like I am not a gym person. Like I like yoga, I like walking, I like doing things outside. I like kayaking. Like I like outsource stuff so I'm not going to commit to go. But people commit to going into them because they get, somebody gave him a gym membership and that's it. Like get clear on what it is that you really want and what you want your year to look like.

28:45 Where do you want to be next December and then start from like the little baby steps. So like bank that's for us was huge. It's just now family time in your calendar. We're a little bit special, like we basically are the die hard and personal development. So we basically plan our vacations or our time away through like what mastermind group or what seminar, what event. Like Australia, our trip in 2011 was planned around. They would destiny and then we're like, Oh well let's stay an extra week and let's go a week early. So we tried to do, like right now we're going in January to February. Where is it? Well known we're taking Valentino. So for example, in February we're thinking we're going to ask male don't make Colorado some kind of steam thing, which we're not a fan of. But we're like, okay, we'll take that. And we would take our daughter, we'll take someone to take care of her, we'll go to this event and then we'll plan

29:42 Around it. And for us it's just, it's almost like it makes sense. Like we're learning, we're growing, exploring the city. At the same time making it both and that's where we integrate and business and we can do both. You know, we're still talking about business, we're still, you know, meeting cool people and we're also spending time with our daughter. I want to let you go. You look amazing.

30:05 We're a little, we're a little fluffy rent. I'll do five days with me right now. Like Christie said, you know, I've never done any. Well then go dancing with me because you know, that was something that was just crystal clear and, and I like to cook so I'm going to culinary school.

30:31 Ooh, leaving the business. I think that you guys, you guys will like something that we've learned about setting these goals and everything else is everyone's set the goals, but then what's the daily ritual you're going to put in place to make sure you hit that and that it's sustainable and enjoyable. Because if you're going out to this target, whatever the target might be, but you don't have this daily practice. So, for example, like a faith practice while I'm reading this book, 10 pages a day, and then I meditate and pray for 10 minutes a day. But if I don't do that daily consistent habit, then I fall off track and I'm like, dude, what happened? Like why? Why did I go sideways on things? Well I stopped doing [inaudible] David commitments if it was to go to the gym and that's a stretch or whatever that is. So in every area, you know, faith, finance, friends, family, finances, right? We should have a daily thing you do where it's, it shouldn't take a whole lot of time but keeps telling Chet then it compounds like something as simple as 45 minute walk, just a walk over 75 days of life change.

31:32 Yeah. Yeah. We like talk a lot. Yeah. And now when you guys finished your 75 days hard, are you finding yourself still continuing that, that behavior, the 10 page? Cause I know, I mean it's challenging like two workouts a day, drinking a gallon of water, doing your, you know, your, what is it, 10 pages of devotion of reading

31:54 Pages of reading, physical books, gallon of water, no drinking, whatever the diet is.

31:59 Yeah. Well I'm a lecture wine so you know,

32:04 You know what it's, it's probably been the best thing we've done together as a couple. And then also in terms of of like just honoring promises you make to yourself, like building confidence and then because you do it for 75 days, I've been to a place in my life before where I've been in this kind of shape where I've been in this kind of help or a bit or I've had this level of faith or fitness and then you are cool. I made it. And then you kind of like let off the gas and then everything kind of goes back. And I saw that happening for two or three days and come Monday I live hard. So it's everything else. So you have is, but a five minute cold shower a day. Oh.

32:43 And what's the other one? Three additional commitments, like three things that need to get done that day to move the business forward. That habit. So three new items and I know that once you hit a target, if you don't set the next one above that cools down. And I've been there when it happened. That's Cory's a mantra. I am a, I climb a mountain and then I go down and then I'm like I need to climb the mountain again. Right. What I need to do, you're right though is once I climb the mountain, just look at it, another mountain to climb and you start right away. I learned it from Tony Robbins. I mean I made the mistake of not studying that and then it's like, you know what? Like let's just, before you hit that goal, Hey, what's the right cause what now a walk is comfortable.

33:26 So how'd I get a little more uncomfortable? The walk another now a 45 minute workout is comfortable. How do I change it up a little bit? That's kind of where I'm looking to now. How do I start the type, the like, you know, stay at that level. If not more. Right? So what's the best advice you can give to couples that are out there that are working together that would really help them? Well, let me back up a second for that question. One of the things we struggle with initially to that, one of the reasons why I would say to work together is, Corey, I'm sure you and Shelly didn't have the same money habits, right? She was raised a certain way with money. So like this, this idea of our money blueprint. And then when we came together, like I looked at it one way, and I'm not saying that we ways, right?

34:04 I'm just saying that it was different, but us like building it together, it started to align our values around money together. So when we say, Hey, personal element, our budget for personal development because we're, that's what we're into, right? We don't know if we want to do this mastermind, okay, we do it. If we want to do that, we do that. Right. So, but that came from doing it together and yeah, and initially kind of one of the biggest pain points was that because, you know, like entrepreneurial kid, which we eat, but she was used to having a paycheck. So when she came into the business, the business should have transition that a little bit easier by paying her a paycheck. But at that point I was in my own way and I said no. And then it created a scarcity piece and like so, and it was, she'll tell you it was one of the best things that I could have possibly done because it taught her to actually build that muscle out. I think one of the, one of the reasons I want you to do this, it's a bet, it's a great way to align those money values together. Like nothing else. I'm not checking her where she buys her. She don't, I already know that her money values are very similar mine and it's what we've chosen and we build it together. And it wasn't what I really started with because, let me add to that, I'm just gonna add a little piece to that. Okay, every woman, I don't care who you are. Needs a sneaky account.

35:13 Shelly has a sneaky account. It's an account. I'm actually on Haven. I have no idea how to log into it or whatever. We've put money into that account. It just kinda goes and lets just for whatever Shelly wants to do. Right. She wants to get her nails done. I mean like we share all our other monies together openly. Right. But she's got one account. I call her sneaky account. Maybe Corey Peterson.

35:38 And I like it that way. I think she looked you like it that way, don't you? Yes, sure

35:45 It is. Yeah. When I want to buy you something,

35:48 Right. Your stuff. Cause I looked at my thoughts all the time. Right, right. So I'd see it. Right? Yes. I don't know. I just liked it. You have a sneaky count. I think it's important.

35:57 My sneaky counts is a little low, right?

35:59 Yeah. Oh it's Christmas has something similar. Will find checks made out to like my name or whatever. Oh this is kind of me. I don't look at it that hard. So that's what works for you guys. And like what comes up for me is like people that like you would make it wrong for her to have a CTE account or she would make it wrong for you that to look at her account because why are you looking at myself like it's that part where it's like you're making each other wrong where things go sideways and it's usually unfortunately around money with, with most relationships and marriage. And it's like those hard conversations. Like I'm sure you guys set that up in a certain way after a certain conversation or a certain thing that went, whatever, whatever it was that brought you to that place. Used to be Holy hell, we first, every Sunday night it was like we'd go to church and brain, you're godly. And then we'd go home that night to bills and it was like, where's the $2? Why didn't you go in the bathroom and cry? I mean, it will hurt my, you're killing me. I don't know what it was.

37:23 I just got so, so we used to have this rule when we first got married nor dating. We're like, okay, if it's over a hundred dollars let's both agree on it. Now that rule is totally is been gone. But it was a, it was, I just, he was frustrated. I'm like, you know what dude, I'm, I'm done. Want to, you handle the finances. And I just turned it over to you early on in our marriage. I just got, so I'm like, why am I arguing with you? Why am I [inaudible]

37:50 Cause it was so uncomfortable and then maybe you have to step up.

37:54 Yes.

37:55 It was really weird how the, how we transitioned that like we have shared accounts and we just have Oh, or counselor or together. Right? Like we don't have, it makes up for a sneaky count, but like it's, it's always been or money. All right. And so, but what it did is I had to step up. I really had to step up and then started really paying attention and you know, and I'm still the spender in the, in the, in the family. [inaudible] Has good ideas and stuff. I just put a bid on a $25,000 Jeep yesterday too.

38:25 See these are the things I don't know about. I still shop at TJ Maxx and target. I'm just, you know, I don't like

38:36 Some nice things. Corey is the bigger spender. I usually buy her jewelry back to this Jeep thing. We'll talk about it. Just the bed. Right? I mean, I probably won't win. No, I went there. I went, I went, you know, I went with a bunch of guys and they went, she, yeah, when our cheek thing here in Arizona. That was really cool. So they're like, you going to join the club? I was like, this is like a mastermind. Ah, it's an investment. Same amount of, same amount of money, right? I mean, out of it. No, no. This is for Corey because this is what, this is what got me like Corrine, we're going to use these Jeeps as tools to go meet. I put a friend or someone a good like Raymond, you're gonna be in my Jeep one day. You're gonna fly out. You got to come willing with me and what am I in my little group of friends and we're going to put you in a Jeep and we're going to, we're going to create some relationships and we're going to do, that's all I need you to hear.

39:41 I'm like, dude, I'm in on that idea that's growing, that's going to move my business forward. I already know it is. Well Christie and I are going to start our, and it's going to be a women's mastermind or you go to be lots of wine with lots of wine, but at the end of the day you guys, you know, you guys are true Testament of couples coming together and really working the business and then love. I mean, there's no doubt you guys are in love. I can see it it. Right, and that's special. Not very many people get that gift. I see people, I mean honestly, look at our neighborhood, we see people all the time, they're walking around in a marriage not fulfilled or happy, right? Yeah. Right. And it's sad. It doesn't have to be that way. I don't, I mean to go back to it and I agree with you.

40:34 I think I have mine too. Is it the same for me is commit like all in like I'm, I'm, I'm committed to her. I'm committed to this business and come hell or high water. No matter what, we're gonna make this work. We're going to figure it out. And once we made a commitment to ourselves, to each other, and then to the business, like we were going to figure it out, it's just inevitable. It's just [inaudible] not in God's time. It was just bound to happen. And we weren't gonna I wasn't going to let her go anywhere. She wasn't gonna let me anyway. We're going to figure it out no matter what. I think that's the biggest thing is people give each other like the opposite of, Hey, if it doesn't work out, we have, there wasn't a plan B. We're all in and we're all in together. And this is the vision we both shared. Well, we want our lives to look like. So that was that. That's my answer.

41:18 And I think to piggyback off that and know that there's going to be seasons like we were talking about, knows that know that there's going to be like right now we're in a great season of our life and we also know that two years ago we were in a really crappy season or life where we were closing on our business. We were learning how to be parents. I was, you know, dealing with becoming a mom. Like there was a lot of bumps, right? But we had prepared for that as best as we could, right? By building those foundations so that we know like there's going to be hard times and things are going to happen and, and, and being committed to figuring it out together. And I think for me, my answer to build off of that too would be like, have those tough conversations. Like, I think the reason why people are so unhappy is because they're holding so much inside. And then it just builds resentment on resentment, on resentment, on resentment when it comes to money, when it comes to like right now, you know, for us the holidays dealing with each other's families is,

42:09 It's a real special people and I've got some special people

42:15 And we go, we know that it's money prepared for it, right? So today we went to breakfast together and we just kinda hung out. We had our, our, our peace time. And then we know that later on there's gonna be some chaos and, but like being okay with that. But really having those conversations that are going to move the ball forward in your relationship versus throwing everything under the rug and brushing it off and brushing it off. And then one day it just explodes. And then you've got two unhappy people because nobody talks about what they eat me to talk about it, what they needed to say. And obviously through the years we've learned how to say things a lot better. But at the beginning

42:42 I can tell you guys communication, right? And being honest and being honest with that

42:48 100% honestly, even if it like today I told them something that apparently it bothered him but I was like, I was just telling you how I fell. I was like, I wasn't telling you this to make you feel bad or to hurt your feelings or to make you feel worse cause he was already feeling not good. But I was like, I need to speak my truth because if not all that's going to just bottle up and then one day it's going to really explode into something unnecessary

43:09 And sometimes you get the right ration. Cause sometimes when that hurts like showed us that to me sometimes I was like, man that really hurt my feelings. She's like, well, I didn't want to hurt feelings, but like telling you like, all right, then you got to like get to eat it and you're like,

43:21 Yeah,

43:26 But once you own it and think that the second point that we both, I think we share that as a group here together, you see that amongst great couples is the commitment of personal development and growth both together and individually. Excellent. So you guys are growing together so that the ratio was grinding together. We go to events on racial together, like we invest in our relationship and I think that's an in yourself dating all the time, trying to date, do stuff even you know, and you have kids, but you're still dating. You're still making time. Like early on the show, he was like, we're going on vacation. We're going to bring someone to watch your kid so we can go do some stuff on our own. You know, sometimes you gotta you've got the plan.

44:04 We've always done that. That was our gift to ourselves. I think for children, the best gift that you can give your children is loving parents, loving, having a loving relationship. So every anniversary, Corey and I, we've always made it a point to go somewhere or do something. If you don't have a lot of money can go, just go do it. Vacation in our, we call it state, we call it persona, but just do something together as a couple without your children. Oftentimes I have a lot of friends who are like, Oh, I can't, I can't leave my children at home. Oh, I got to bring them with them. Like, well, girl house, you got to spend the one on one time with your spouse. That's the best gift I believe that you can give your children, is having a great marriage and being that role model for your, for your children. And so now Corey and I are we're, we're in these years of where we're experiencing almost the empty nester. So you guys are in the infancy stage. I'm going to tell you to enjoy your daughter to the moon and back.

45:03 Yeah. Once it's get in high school, things changed. Like Geodon. I'm aware and kids were downstairs. They're up in their rooms doing what they do. Like I'm so thankful that I liked this guy. There's a lot of families out there.

45:23 There were. They just, they've grown apart and the only thing that's kept them together is their children. It's only when the kids leave the nest.

45:30 Yeah. Guys, final word for you guys on what you'd like to tell. Any listeners out there about relationships and business.

45:37 I think just even if you don't work together, right? Like we have our business together, but even if you don't work together in the business sense, like you're still working together, you're still running a household, you're still raising children, you're still paying bills, you're still doing all of these day to day things. So that for us was, was, is huge. When we, when we meet other couples or even friends of ours, I think you're still running a business. Your marriage and your life is a business, right? You're still have to do all these certain things to get to that next level and you want to make sure that you're enjoying the process. And if you're not enjoying it, then do something about it, right? Because that's what happens. We brush things under the rug and we just don't look at it. And we both experienced, you know, from our parents being divorced, it was sucks, right?

46:15 It just, it's not fun. Like divorce is never a good thing and like raise those. It's also really expensive, not just financially, but in so many other ways. And [inaudible] just if you would treat your relationship like you treat like most people treat their business, then thank you. You're paying attention to her, right? You're, you're constantly nurturing your business. Do the same with your relationship. And the more, the better relationship you have, the better business you're going to have. Like that I 100% believe in, no matter what, the better your relationship is, the better you're going to show up to life. The better you're going to parent, the better you're gonna feel, the better you're gonna, you know, look, the better you're gonna everything, right? It's just, it's just strong foundational piece of life. Now, once you get that piece going, everything else is going to flourish. So I love it.

46:57 Yeah, I agree with Grey's like drop to Mike. Listen, I want to unplug a couple things here for you. I'll let you guys go. First of all, you know your guys' business summit home buyers for lending for cause you help multifamily guys, people like me. It's all about relationships. So you need to go probably start a relationship with Raymond. How does, how do they LA find you guys? We're on Facebook, I'm on a search business for business or for business. You can probably do is just email me and you know, or I'll have make an intro. They know

47:30 You Corey as you know, make an intro. Everything we do is relationship driven. Someone makes an intro and that's how we do that. We do have regular hard money and then we also do multifamily lending as well. Cool. And then on the relationship side, your podcast is called both on board, right? Yes. If you like this stuff, cause this is all you guys do, just an extreme amount of coaching. This is where I think you, Christie, you do your best teaching. I mean, I've listened to your podcast and I love, I mean it really is. You're very good at it by the way, and you bring it, it's really enjoyable to listen to it. I'm just going to highly recommend that you check out both on board, especially if you're in a relationship or you're thinking about getting a relationship. It really has some valuable nuggets that I think that you can use to, to grow your life and your experience and your business and to do it in a way that just makes so much sense.

48:20 So guys, with that said, man, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for a showing up and being part of this would take us a while to get us on our schedules. You got any last comments you want to say? Thank you for having me on the show. Pleasure meeting you. Finally Christie and her and I are like kindred spirits. There we go. Well, for anybody out there listening, like listen, you know, everything happens. It starts with a, you know, a planner. And really more and more importantly, an idea, you know, the power of our brains, the power of your thoughts and your thinking and what you believe is so vitally important to life and success. Because if you believe it, you can achieve it

49:00 When your paradise is possible. Thanks for hanging out with us and listening to the Bolton board podcasts. Go to our website at www.bothonboard.com to receive your free special report on seven game changers for highly effective entrepreneurial couples. You can also connect to this on Facebook and Instagram at both onboard. If you got value from us, please subscribe to our channel and leave an amazing five star reviews so we can help others get on board to co-create the life and business of the dreams and enjoy the ride. We hope to connect with you soon.

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