Welcome to the “Making of a DM.” One of the biggest reasons I see people failing daily, them not knowing what's important to them. So, with that said, let's get started.
Mark: Hey, there. It’s your host, Mark Evans DM. Thank you so much for being here.
Again, I appreciate all the amazing shares and feedback and five-star reviews over on iTunes, and it really is very exciting to see you guys posting and showing me that you're watching the show, and listening, I should say, to the show, and your way to the gym or while you're working out, getting fired up. It does mean a lot to me. [01:05.4]
A lot of people come to me like, Mark, how much can I pay you for a day to consult and all this? I personally don't really do a whole lot of that, if ever, not because I don't want to. It's just because of what we're going to talk about today about what's important to you and I know this show is going to be a little sporadic maybe. I just want to kind of share my thoughts. I have notes here in front of me, overlooking the ravine out back here in Mentor, Ohio.
I just got back from a cool experience with the family, nothing crazy, rented a suite at the stadium for Monster Jam. We had pit passes to go down and the kids could walk around on the floor, VIP style. Then we had VIP parking, all that good stuff, and for a small investment of $3,000, it's a no-brainer for 18 people to go and hang out. It's just … I love … [01:56.8]
Just shooting straight with you, it's one of my biggest joys in my life, being able to do high-level VIP experiences, just experiences in general with family to make people smile. I get off on it. I like it. It gets me excited. I want them happy. I'm already happy. Not to say they're not happy people. It's just, I do know that I'm a little over the top with stuff. I like the VIP stuff. I like the nice stuff.
A lot of people in my world that I'm from, they justify staying at a Howard Johnson near the beach, not on the beach, near the beach for $300 a night and they justify it by saying, Oh, not a big deal. All we do is sleep in there, and I think to myself, Okay, cool, so why don't you just sleep in your car? Why not? It's $300 a night. Why not go stay somewhere 100 bucks a night, 15 miles further off the ocean? I mean, when does the game stop with ourselves, right? What's important to you? This is kind of me talking to myself about what's important to me. [03:01.7]
I see so many great people get caught up following the wrong people, get caught up on what people are saying, not actually knowing, get caught up in their lives, thinking they're not doing the right stuff because they don't have what this person has or whatever. I think to give you a perspective, if you follow me, I hope you don't come to follow me to learn how to lose weight. That's not my thing. That's actually one of my biggest downfalls. I work really hard not to be 500 pounds. I enjoy eating. I enjoy being lazy. I enjoy just hanging out with the kids, eating. I could eat a pizza. It's always funny to see people like, Oh, I ate a piece of pizza, two pieces of pizza. I'm like, I could eat two pieces, two pies, the entire thing myself, so it's not that big a deal. I think they have self-control and I don't. But I think it's important that the people that you follow, you really understand who they are, what makes them tick. [04:00.8]
You guys know my story. I grew up in a small town, Ohio, barely graduated high school. Mom and dad busted their asses their whole life. I wrote about it in Magician vs. Mule. I write about all time, but I wrote about that, specifically about that. My mom and dad are mules and we're all mules, but my mom and dad really are the definition of that book of what being a mule is and just working your ass off, and when they see that they’ve got the mule, they keep adding more work and keep paying you less and keep working your harder, and the only way out is death or you get fired, or you quit. You don't get fired because they don't fire mules.
But that's something that you’ve got to understand. I saw that my whole life as a young child and I saw my parents fighting about money my whole life as a child. That's all they fought about, money, money, money, but yet in the same sentence, if someone needed help, my parents would step in and whatever money they had, they would give. They're great, giving people and I'm very thankful for that because I saw that as well. [04:58.0]
I see so many people, great people that get hung up on these excuses like, Oh, you don't understand my situation. I grew up poor. Okay, that's how you grew up. That doesn't mean that’s how you have to end the game of life. That's just a part of the journey. First of all, you didn't even have a choice. You were a child, so why are we still using that as an excuse as a grown adult? Or abusive relationship, whatever. I never grew up in abusive relationships, but people use excuse after excuse after excuse for why they're not where they want to be.
What's important to you? What's important to me is to be stupid, filthy rich. I know, it's crazy. It's important to me. If you think that's crazy, it is what it is. That's your money blueprint that you have. It is what it is. I'm not here to change your thought process on it. I'm here just to share what's important to me, so you know what I'm talking about. My objective is to get money, but also what's important to me is to have character, to do the right thing, to be a great leader, to work really hard for the client. [06:00.6]
I have many partners all over the country, some out in the world, some out of this country, and we go above and beyond. It's a massive responsibility, something I'm very grateful for, something my team works really, really hard for me. We invest millions of dollars a year in teams to give clients better experiences and things. The truth is, things happen. It's called life, but that's important to me. I'm very conscious of if it's your money.
Straight up, your money is more important to me than my money is to me, because I know it's a big deal. I know it's a transaction initially and then we build a relationship long term, and the truth is if we're not talking long-term, anybody I'm partnering with, anybody I'm working with, even clients and staff and teams, if it's not a long-term opportunity, it's just small talk and I don't want to do it. I don't want to do small talk. I don't want to do short-term things. If I'm putting my energy and efforts into something, I want it to have a massive payoff for everybody, not just me. [07:05.0]
See, the thing is, when I say I want to get stupid filthy rich, that does not mean you can't get stupid filthy rich. Again, here's why, the thought audit, what does stupid filthy rich mean to you? Your number might pop in, 10 million. Ten million is not stupid filthy rich to me. I might say 500 million and then someone above me may say, Man, 500 million is not a whole lot, Mark. It's not stupid filthy rich. Two billion, and then Bezos is like, Dude, that's nothing, right?
I mean, again, these are the things I think about as I thought-audit daily, hourly sometimes, every minute, but I want you to know, if you're following me, I'm here to teach you how to be a better person and all that, so all around. Be real with yourself and authentic. Like I said, if you follow me because you want to lose weight and get abs, I'm not the guy. I would not be that guy. I never will be that guy and to educate you on how to get abs. That's not what I get excited about. [08:06.7]
But if you come to me and you want a great lifestyle to generate a lot of money, there are things that have to happen. You have to understand the wiring of my brain to understand how I'm able to have all these companies, all these partners, all these great teammates around me, and the simple truth is I’ve fucked it up so much, I'm actually starting to get better at picking better people. I'm 25-plus years in the game and it is what it is.
Like I said, I see many people comparing their business career with others, but they forget to pay attention to what matters to you. If you're watching me on social media, you see me, I just bought a new Ferrari. Cool. A $350,000 car, whatever 400, whatever it is. It's like, oh, man, it's intoxicating. It's exciting, because you probably also knew about the Drophead Rolls-Royce. That's another 350. I bought the new Escalade. That's 130. I got the Corvette for my dad. That's another 78 or 82 or whatever it was, and so on and so on and so on, and you're thinking like, Dude, I want that. [9:12.0]
Listen, these are just things that I’ve been able to acquire through hard work, perspiration and busting my ass for 20-something years, so if you're one month, 12 months, two years, four years in the game, and you're comparing against that, you're doing yourself a injustice, a disservice, because the truth is if you're where you're at four years deep in the game where I'm at 26 years in the game, you're outpacing me already.
See, I never had mentors. For my first 10 years of business, I never had a life. I literally worked 16 hours a day, seven days a week, never took vacations, never hung out at family reunions. I didn't do any of that shit. I was so focused on building, making money and building a business, and then as I got older, I realized, I need help. I need mentors. [10:01.0]
I’d always understood mentorship through books because that was what I did when I was 17 or 18 through Think and Grow Rich, and then, at 18, I hired a mentor in real estate and I always understood the importance of it, but I never kept leaning into it consistently. Then I started doing that about 10 years deep, hiring financial coaches, hiring real estate coaches, hiring business coaches, etc., and investing in myself, so I understand investing in myself as a very valuable thing and will continue to do it.
This year, like I said, my goal is to invest 100,000 just in my health, through personal trainers, through blood work, through all these doctor's stuff I'm doing, testing and shockwave therapies, all these cool things. Some are cool. Some aren't so cool. Some hurt like hell and some don't. But I just want you to understand when you're seeing this and I say, If I buy that Ferrari for 350, one, I always pay cash. Financially, that's dumb. Why? Because money is so cheap. I could finance it, get 3%, 2%. I don't even know what the notes are on cars because I don't have car payments, but whatever the payment is, it is what it is, and then I could take that money and go put in something else and get a 10X and now the car is free or whatever. [11:12.2]
But again, in my world, for me, what is important to me is not having car debt. Why? Glad you asked. I had a car repoed in my early twenties. It affected me drastically. It created financial PTSD in that moment. I was embarrassed. I was disgusted and I was sad, and I don't like those feelings. What I did is [I decided] I’d never be embarrassed, I’d never be disgusted and I’d never be sad with a car payment. Why? Because I pay cash for my cars, all of them.
Another thing on top of that, I created a rule in my world, where if you can't buy the car cash, at least 20X in your bank account, then you don't need to buy it. Maybe it's 10X for you. Maybe it's 1X. I don't know what it is, whatever it is. I'm giving you your rules. I'm just sharing my rules. [12:02.8]
When you see something pop up on your feed and you're like, Goddamn, Evan has just got another blah, blah, blah, just know that there's at least 20 X in the bank sitting doing nothing. Obviously, money is moving all the time. We're investing. We're getting money back. We're pushing money out, whatever. But this money is moving.
I just want you to understand the mental thought process behind that. I'm not going into over-leveraging. I know a lot of people because I see it every day, that old maxim, they're over-leveraged on everything they do, but on social media, you think they're crushing the game of life and then you start taking advice from these dipshits and then that advice is [flawed]. The truth is they're stealing from you. They're stealing your joy.
They're stealing your future. They're stealing a lot from you.
So, start asking more questions like, Yo, did you pay cash for that or did you finance that? It's cool either way, by the way, but how much is in the bank? I want to know what's in the bank, straight up, because, again, if someone's like frontend or financing or leasing the car, and they're living in a $2,000 apartment, but they have a $4,200 car payment, barely can make bills pay, why would I be taking financial advice from these dicks? I mean, it's just straight thieving at the highest level. [13:14.7]
I'm just sharing some of my things that are important to me. Uno, number one, again, I wrote about this in the MEconomy, I'm important to me. I think I invest a lot of time with myself, invest a lot of time with coaches. I invest a lot of time with great people, money as well because if I'm not here, nothing I'm talking about here today matters as much because it's all about me. You’ve got to be selfish in the moment to ultimately help your bigger vision.
Number two, my family. I'm very, very passionate about my family. I will literally fucking cut someone's head off if they even think about screwing with the family. Why? Because, to me, you could have all the money in the bank, but if the family doesn't love you and they don't even know who you are, your kids, for example, you're a massive failure. You’re the fucking biggest failure in the world, in my opinion. [14:07.8]
I don't care how successful you are in business. I don't care if everyone is praising you. If you drop the ball at home, you're a fucking loser, in my opinion, by the way. Maybe you're different, I don't know, but I can tell you family is a very, very big deal. It’s why I don't do it daily.
People offer money all the time to come and hang out with me for a day. I don't do it often, and if I do it, there's a long-term play to it. I don't care about the initial money. I'm more thinking about the future of the opportunity, but for me, that day, I can never take back and go hang out with my kids. I can't wake up with Dria and say good morning, love you, kiss her and then she wipes my kisses off. I can't say good morning to my son 20 times until he says it back to me, because that's the game he plays. He knows I'm not leaving the room with him until he says good morning. I'm not going to bed until I say good night, love you, sweet dreams, to both of them, and this is very, very important to me. [15:06.6]
It is my world and I understand this as a part of the cycle that I'm in. I'm 43. I have a six-year-old and I have a two-and-a-half year old, and I have a wife, so that's where I'm at. If you're 19, 22 years old and you're like, Dude, how do I retire? I don't even think about that hit. That's not even a thought in my mind. Just so you know, these are the things that drive me.
When I'm making investment or business decisions, it's not always necessarily the biggest ROI. The first thing I ask myself, does it fit in my lifestyle? That's the first thing. The second thing, can I provide value to the system, to the business? The third thing, what does the ROI look like? I'm sure I'm missing some in there, but these are the first three things that pop into my brain when I see a thing. It's not like my old self when I had no kids and all that. It's like, how much money can I make? That was my filter. [16:02.8]
By the way, the higher the return, not always, but typically the bigger the risk. Again, I start becoming a little bit more risk-averse. I start understanding risk at a different level. I start asking better questions, how and why. It's very simple. I have fucking lost millions of dollars with people on many different ventures because I didn't pull people through the right system. I did not ask the right questions. I didn't even know to ask the questions until it was too late.
But, again, the good news is I don't use that as an excuse as to why I still invest weekly, daily, mostly. I'm investing in new things all the time. I understand the world evolves. I understand money is fluid. Very interesting, just to share this, my goal is to be stupid, filthy rich. On the same side of that coin, just so you know, I'm not motivated by money. I'm motivated by results. It just happens that money shows up when results happen in a consistent manner. Money to me is just money. That's it. [17:05.4]
I know I always see people like, Dude, it's not all about the money, but every action they take is about the money. They're going to work to get money. I don't have to go to work to get money. I have investments now in my life that produce plenty of money and I’ve always been this way even before I was here. Hence, again, it's like, my problem is I was too busy helping everyone else, I forgot to take care of the ME economy. Hence, why I wrote the book, MEconomy this year. You can get that on Amazon, by the way.
But these are the things as you're building and paying attention to. I hire fast. I fire slow. That's a terrible business model. It's a terrible thing to do. That's who I am. I love people. I see stuff in people that they don't see in themselves. Sometimes that hurts me. That's okay. I don't want to change my good nature, seeing the positive in others, because I’ve had a negative experience. I get it. It's not always easy. I get it. [18:07.2]
I talked about that a couple weeks ago on a show about a guy that I thought was like my brother. He has ripped me off for millions of dollars, but, again, it's not going to stop me from investing. Actually, I’m making a big investment, a seven-figure investment tomorrow. It's not going to stop me. It's just going to make me more aware, make me more conscious of the people I'm doing business with, make me more conscious of why I'm doing this business. Am I doing it just for the money? Am I doing it for the individual? Where's the long-term opportunity? These are all things as I’ve become older and ideally a little bit wiser. Things roll.
But I see so many people, again, I could talk to guys and real estate today, real estate investing, and they're still using, Oh, man, I'm still recovering from the crash of 2008, and I'm like, You understand that's 13 years ago, homie. What are you talking about? The thing is they're using excuses not to grow and not to learn from it. They're still using these excuses because they're afraid to fail again, even though the failures have already happened in their brain. [19:09.5]
But you really didn't fail. You're just learning. Do you know how many very, very smart people, billionaires, lost billions of dollars and went bankrupt in 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009? I mean, lots. Fuck, banks did, for God’s sake, so what not to think that a smalltime person like you and me couldn't go bankrupt?
By the way, I never did. We actually excelled during that time because we saw it common and I was very conscious of that. I pivoted my business model and I just turned straight to wholesaling to other investors. Big companies, not smalltime investors. I'm talking to big corporations that had massive bankroll. Again, we all saw it if you were on the inside and paying attention anyway. But, oftentimes, with success, you can lose sight of paying attention to the red flags that are in front of you. It happens to me. It happens to everybody. [20:01.7]
But that's what makes me tick, my family. It really gets me excited. Just to kind of paint the picture, every morning when I go to take my walk in the morning at 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning, depending on what's going on for the day, the first person I call when I get out of bed is my father and my mother, typically my dad because he's up rolling at the same time I am, four-ish o'clock in the morning, but I call him in the morning. What's up, Dad? It’s usually a three to five minutes talk, pretty much the same shit, but I get to hear his voice, I get to know.
Again, the reason I do this is, one, I love my parents. Two, I know there's going to be a time when I wake up in the morning and I can't make that phone call. I'm very conscious of that, so my goal is like, hey, how do I keep having these great conversations with my dad? Maybe two conversations a week or one or whatever. We're talking about something big, because, again, it's always like, Hey, what's going on?
For example, today, my dad is golfing with his brother. Cool, tell Tim I said hello. Tell him what's up. It's awesome that my dad can do that. Why is he able to do that? Because I’ve been put in a position to allow him to do that, to give him. Not “allow”, I should say, that’s the wrong word, but to give them the opportunity to do that. [21:06.3]
I pay my dad every month a salary and he gets to hang out with my mother and do what he wants, and he's taking care of a lot of stuff over there with my mom and my mom just broke her wrist recently. She's on oxygen. I mean, a lot of crazy stuff over there, but it's called life and I do it. Like I said, it’s very important to me to be able to talk to my parents on a daily basis, seven days a week, by the way, not Monday to Tuesday, Monday to Friday. Seven days a week, I pretty much call my parents every day.
Don't get me wrong. I miss at times, too. If I'm heavily in the events and I'm kind of focused on the people there, so I miss two or three days, and then if I miss four days, my dad texts me like, Is everything okay over there? And he knows it is because people are posting on social media that they're hanging out with us, letting them know that. These are things that make me tick.
Then I call a buddy of mine. Right after I talk to my dad, I talk to him for about 30 minutes on the walk. We're talking about high-level stuff. We own some businesses together. We have a lot of cool team members we're working with. We're pushing forward to new visions. Really high-level quality conversations. [22:12.2]
Not to say there's not some bitching and complaining in those conversations. We're talking about life and how to push forward and why we think the way we think. These are all things that I feel like a lot of people don't have a sounding board for or they haven't put themselves in a position to do so, just by starting to connect.
The funny thing is he lives five states over. I only probably see them once a year, if that, in person, and we talk a lot. I know a lot about him. He knows a lot about me, and we're just getting to know each other, if that makes sense, and we've been doing this for many, many years, so it's pretty cool. Again, that's a seven-day-a-week thing that I do often that I very rarely miss unless I'm sick or whatever. These are things that are important to me.
Another thing that's very important to me is my team, and when I say my team is important to me, I'm not saying that just to sound like, Oh, that's what everyone says. I mean it, and I'm not saying that other people don't either. I'm just saying that I know where I stand. [23:11.2]
Let me paint the picture. This was probably three or four years ago. I'm at an event, a basketball game. I'm hanging out with a couple buddies, and VIP, we're just hanging out. There's more of a connection thing, networking and mastermind thing, and then we leave there. We go, hang out at this bar and stuff and these two guys come rolling in and sit down with us. I'd met this guy once and never met his buddy, and he was sitting there talking. He's younger than me, which is cool, whatever, but he thinks he's King Ding-a-ling and he's talking shit about my company to my face.
Now, I know what I’ve put into my companies and I know what we do for our companies and I know what my team is willing to do and they'll do anything. They're in it to win it. He continues to talk, and again, he's kind of just being a dick. I'm like, Yo, man, noted, I hear you, I’ll check into that, but you need to pipe it down, so that's your warning. [24:11.0]
Fortunately or unfortunately for him, or unfortunately for him, fortunately, however you want to look at this, he continued to run his mouth. Where I come from, you don't fucking say something and not stand behind what you say. I'm not acting like a tough ass or anything like this, by the way. I'm just sharing what really happened. This is a true story. This really happened.
I'm sitting there with the beer in my hand. My brother-in-law is with me and my two buddies and some other guys are at the table, and these two clowns, and the kids are sitting beside me literally to my right-hand side. He should have picked the other side because that's not my dominant hand.
But, anyway, I proceeded to snag the back of his hair because he had longer hair and his head, and I fucking slammed his face down on the table multiple times, and I said, “Now let's get up and go outside and finish this,” as if I didn't miss a beat and my buddy is looking across the table, I’ll never forget, his name is Tim. He looks across the table and he's like, Oh, my God. [25:06.6]
It was just so like, boom, boom, everyone around. This is a bar. No one even really noticed anything crazy. There was no screaming or anything. It was bam, bam, bam. The kids are looking at me all shocked. He was like, I don't know what the fuck just happened, and I was like, Dude, I'm standing up to go outside. Let's finish this up.
Again, I'm not saying this is right. I'm just saying this is what I did because this is important to me. I stand up for what I fucking believe in, period, and there are consequences to that sometimes, good and bad, but I'm willing to stand behind it and I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong. This probably was not the best behavior, but it's what happened. It was where I was in my moment and that's how [it happened].
Anyway, the kid jumps up. His buddy looks at me and they're like, Oh, my God, I fucked with the wrong guy, and he jumps up and he literally looks at us, throws $20 on the table and takes off running out the door, and we continue to hang out and have fun. [26:01.3]
I'm just trying to paint the picture of what's important to me, because when you're listening to me talk, this is show 78 or 79, I don't remember, but literally many, many, many, many hours of content that I’ve provided over the years to people, and if you don't understand the reason behind it, it's kind of hard to really connect with it.
See, I want you to be successful. You're going to be successful differently than I'm successful. That is no right or wrong. When I say successful, success is everything to me. It has nothing to do with just being financially successful. I want you to be physically successful. I want you to be financially successful. I want you to be successful in all these things. That's what's important to me.
I want to see my kids be successful. I want to see my wife be more successful. I want to be more. I want to see everyone around me successful. I have no ill will to watch someone hurt, struggle. I find no pleasure in that. I want to work hard just like everyone else. But the truth is most people are so busy, working hard on the wrong things. They're so busy wasting other people's time. [27:14.4]
Recently, someone messaged one of our clients and said, “Hey, what do you think about Lifestyle Money? Should I do it? Because I saw you post it on their wall.” It's like why would you waste someone's time asking that question? What in your right mind thinks that's an okay question to ask anyways? It's intrusive, number one, and number two, what are you painting successful on? Because they commented it on a fucking comment.
Maybe success to them is making an extra $100 a month, but you want to make 10,000 a month, so if he said you're successful and you only make 5,000 a month, now you're unsuccessful based off a successful person telling you they were successful. The problem is you guys or 99 percent of people, have half-loaded data, half-loaded thoughts, half-loaded conversations. They don't even know what the fuck to ask. I know because I'm one of them, 90 percent of the time. [28:07.6]
But, again, why are you asking for permission with inaccurate data? It's not full data. I just want you to understand this is what's important to me. If you think you buy into the Gary Vee stuff, hustle harder, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle 20 hours a day even if you have kids and all this shit, I'm not knocking Gary, but that's not my style. It used to be pre-kids. It used to be before I knew what the fuck I was doing. Most of the time I was working really hard because I was hiding from the real work that needed to be done and the work was i.e. me. I needed to sit down and think about my thoughts. Why the fuck am I busting my ass and not making any more money? [28:53.9]
See, the truth is I was really good at making money. Very bad at collecting it. The truth is I'm still like that today. That's why I have people on my teams. I have CFOs. I have accountants. I have bookkeepers. I have an assistant. Their job is to follow up and get money. Their job is to follow up and make sure things are happening. I'm not good at it. It sounds stupid, but it's the truth. That's not where I shine. [29:18.2]
Again, what's important to me is I love big-picture solution thinking. I love talking about massive dreams that everyone thinks are fucking crazy. That gets me excited. I love talking about all the big stuff. When you start getting deep into the little stuff, I'm out, I check out. It's not fun for me. I get irritated. I get angry and I get frustrated.
I have a fucking $6,000 coffee maker in my cigar lounge. I've yet to install the app on my phone and program it to the thing because I know if I do it, I'm going to get pissed. I'm going to get overwhelmed. I'm going to be frustrated. That stuff overwhelms me, by the way, it sounds stupid, because I'm anticipating the problems, because with technology and me, there are always problems. Five minutes turns into five hours and then I'm throwing stuff. Then I'm pissed and I still don't have coffee. [30:10.8]
Again, I'm being straight up. This is what's important to me. What I do as a hire these things out. I have my assistant come over and install it. I don't care if it takes her one minute or 100 hours, it gets done. I don't have to do it and she actually enjoys doing it. Go figure.
Paperwork. You give me paperwork. It's not important to me. It's important, but it's not important to me to do, so I hire great people that love to do paperwork. If you're in sales, it doesn't even make sense why someone would love doing that, but they do, and the thing is the truth is they don't love sales, but I do. You do. We do. Therefore, we have to find, we have to build this team. What's important to you? [30:59.3]
The reason I'm sharing all this stuff, guys, again, I just want to reiterate, is so many people are following the wrong people for the wrong reasons. I think you need to ask yourself when you're following someone what makes you follow them. What are they up to that you really like?
By the way, I get messages every single day, multiple messages every single day, like, Dude, I follow you not because you're successful in business, but because you're a great family guy and I need more of that in my life, and these are guys that are worth way more than me and there are also people worth way less than me and everything in between. But my point is, you never know. Share your story. Share your truth. Share what you care about.
You might be sitting here. I had some lady recently because I talked about it in the DM Family, I don't allow females. I'll be doing a post about this, by the way. She sends me this long fucking message about it, blah, blah, blah. I don't even know what she has said because I don't care. I do care, but it's like she's trying to tell me I'm doing an injustice to females and all this shit. Go fucking create a female DM group. I don't give a fuck. [32:02.8]
When I say don't give a fuck, I one hundred percent don't care what you say. You’ve got to understand, my whole life, people have told me what not to do. People have told me, “You can't do that,” and everyone that told me I can't get rich, aren't rich, but I am. Everyone said, “You can't have a big house, don't have a big house,” but I do. Everyone said, “You can’t travel the world for a year.” I did it for seven. You're right, I couldn't do it for a year. I did it for seven and they've never fucking taken a trip in the last 10 years. See, why are they saying this shit?
See, what I’ve realized is haters don't hate you. They just hate themselves. They're just looking for someone to spew it on, and I can take it because it rolls off my back, no big deal. Like I said, I read it. I don't even know what the fuck she said now, but I do know there's a lesson in it, a lesson to teach you guys that if you're getting beat up or criticized by other people or shit-talkers out there, use it as fuel. [33:01.2]
I started laughing when I read it. I was like, This bitch is crazy. She's not a bitch. Probably the wrong choice of words, but this lady is crazy. That's how I talk, by the way, in the DM Family. It's who I am, so I'm not sorry. That's fucking who I am. What's important to me is being authentic, being real, being genuine. When I say bitch, I'm not saying you're a bitch. By the way, I call guys bitches, too. There are a lot of them, many of them, actually too many of them. They're everywhere.
But we have to man up. We have to woman up. We have to step up to what makes you. I don't care if you like me. I'm here to help you. The truth is I never or very rarely liked the people that helped me in the beginning stages of help because they were challenging me on my thoughts. They were challenging me on who I was and where I wanted to go. They knew where I was going, but they were challenging me on this every step because they saw the talent in me. [33:58.5]
I have a guy that I’ve had the pleasure to work with. This guy is making more money than he has ever made in his life. His wife was skeptical initially because he has been ripped off, manipulated, lied to so many times with so many other people, and straight up, they were like, Yo, can you sign a contract with us? and I was like, Absolutely not. That's something you’ve got to fucking take up with your wife, not me. That's not me. That's you and your wife. I'm not giving a piece of paper to solve your fucking problem. By the way, that piece of paper is a false solving of the problem. He addressed it, thank God, and they're all better off.
See the thing is being real and authentic is not always the easiest stuff to say, but it's the truth. Am I doing you a service by telling you, Oh, that's a great question, Nancy. No, it's a fucking stupid question and here's why. I'm not trying to beat you up. I'm trying to jolt you and then guide you.
See, the thing is, all your buddies, all these people you hang out with, the reason you're not getting the success is because they keep telling you, “You're doing such a good job. Keep going.” It’s like, no, dude, this is fucking stupid. You need to pivot. Pivot from here and move over there, and go make a lot of money and enjoy it. [35:04.8]
“Yeah, but you don't understand….” I don't fucking need to understand. I'm telling you what needs to happen. I don't need to understand your bullshit excuses. I don't need to understand where you're at in your head. I'm telling you what needs to happen based off why you hired me to help you, right? Again, it's stuff that we have to say. I have to. I don't want to, by the way. I have to, because I fucking care. That's what's important to me. It's not important to me to make you upset or cry. It's important for me to get you results.
It just so happens, when people come to me, typically the conversation is like, Dude, do you want me to sugarcoat it or fucking tell you the truth? I.e. asking for permission to tell them the fucking truth. If they say to sugarcoat it, I'm hanging up the call. I don't have anything else to do. My work can't be done. I can't work to my ability. Here's your money back. Go enjoy life. I don't care about the money like that. [36:00.3]
The majority of the people, which is pretty much all, say, Dude, tell me the truth, and then I tell them the truth in a very direct way because the result is more important than hurting your feelings in the moment. You get jolted, that's on you, but I'm going to give you the tools to go get the result. That might mean hiring people. That might mean investing more money over here. That might mean firing people. That might mean you firing yourself. But we're going to get your results because that's what's important to me.
Anytime I have a challenge in my business, I have these same talks with myself. The truth is, me saying bitch, I call myself way worse words when I'm in a challenging moment. I'm my own consultant oftentimes, pretty much all the time, right? You are, too. What are you saying to yourself? How are you pushing yourself? What makes you tick?
Guys like me, typically, if everything is easy, that's when I'm in trouble. That's when I'm really in trouble, because a lot of times, I like to bounce in and create chaos, so I should become significant. I know that's a real thing, so I step back and just let things happen. I hire people to help make it better. I hire people to get me out of the way. That's important to me. [37:13.5]
My goal, what's important to me, is seeing every one of my team members accomplish great success in their life, not just in the business. I want to make them a better human being. I want to make them more money. I want them to make more money, so they can go give back to their churches. They can take care of their family and do the things they dream about every day like we do and you do and I do and all of us. I want to give him a pack of success. Again, this is important, very ultra-important to me.
I was talking with one of my sales guys today at 6:00 a.m. about him and what he's up to and how he's going to break a record this month. That shit is important to me. I don't need to talk to anybody. I want to. I genuinely care. So, as I'm growing and sharing with you, I want you to know I'm evolving right with you. [38:03.7]
Every day is a challenge. Every day is a challenge and new opportunities are presenting themselves. The question is, who am I? What am I going to do? How am I going to react or not react? I always go back to what's important to me. I get hundreds of opportunities every week, “opportunities”, and I'm doing air quotes with that, sent to me, private-messaged to me.
Dude, I’ve got this. I’ve got that.
Hey, man, I need $1,000,000 for this.
Hey, do you want to partner with this?
Hey man, I'd love to have you on this. I’ll give me 50% of the company, blah, blah, blah.
I've turned down hundreds of millions, if not, billions of dollars, probably long-term money, saying no, because it's not in alignment with what's important to me. I’ve been asked to come and speak at massive events for very large fees and I pass, not because I'm a dick. It's because it's not important to me, my family. By the way, it is important to me to go there, but my family is more important with me to hang out with them. [39:02.1]
So, I’ve got to find the happy medium—and what is that? Instead of doing all the traveling back and forth and going to hotels and hanging out, let me do an hour of Zoom. I'll do it for fucking free because it's important to me to make an impact, but it's also more important for me to hang out with my family. This is what I'm looking at. They're both important. It's just timing. What's going on? Where am I at in my life? What do I need more of? What's more important today and such, right?
These are things I think so many people-- like cars. I have all these cool cars, multiple Rolls-Royces and cool G-Wagons and Escalades and Ferrari, blah, blah, blah, whatever. I barely drive. I barely go anywhere. I'm working on new books. I'm working on podcast shows. I'm working with partners. I'm working with teammates. I'm working. I'm doing stuff that's important to me.
I'm fucking riding motorcycles at 5:00 p.m. with my kids every single day. I'm enjoying time by myself at 4:30 in the morning, down in the theater room, thinking about and plodding and checking my investments. Where are we going? How are we getting there? Looking at my dream board, looking at the goals, writing my wife a love letter, writing my parents a letter to tell them how much I care about them. That's important to me. We've got to pick pieces. [40:18.8]
Just maybe you follow Sean. Maybe you follow Andy. Maybe you follow me. Maybe you follow all of us. There are certain things that are not important to me like this guy or that girl or whatever. The cool thing about the life we live is we can learn from everybody, good and bad. Like I said, at that moment, when I slammed that kid’s head in, where I come from that's what it is. I'm trying to be better. I'm not out looking for fights. I'm not out looking to do that stuff. But when you get addressed and you’re like, Yo, heads up, that's a warning, it happens again, it’s very crystal clear. I'm not fucking around. It's important to me to stand back. [40:57.8]
By the way, I just want my team to know I will fight tooth and nail for them. I respect the team. I know they bust their ass. I know they care about you so much as a partner, as a teammate. These guys will fucking cut their arm off to help make you get you results. I'm serious. It's important to me and it's important to them. It's pretty cool how that works. We care.
I'm not saying everybody that follows doesn't care. I'm just saying for you. This is for you, by the way. It's not about everyone else. It's about you. Write down what's important to you, because a lot of people are doing things just to do things to think they're getting closer to what they want, and yet it's not …
Listen, let's say, you do find the path to make $100,000,000, but you have to take away from your family for the next 12 months, are you doing that? If you say yes or even think about it—and, again, this is not me judging you. This is me. I'm judging. I'm telling you what I would do—I'm out because I know I could take care of my family and do the things. My family is time. [42:05.2]
Why do you think I'm making all this money? It's to give me more time with my family, to give me more time to do what I love to do. Most people say it's not about the money, but a lot of their actions, if not all, are only about money. See, the thing is, you don't know you’ve fucked up with your kids until it's too late. I'm not saying it's ever too late, but it's too far down the path to revert them. Now, all of a sudden, you're in recovery mode.
The last thing in my world I would want is a divorce. If it happens, it could happen. By the way, I'm not saying I'm perfect here in any of this shit, but this is the stuff I think about. The last thing I want is someone else walking my daughter down the aisle. The last thing I want is my son talking to some other guy and learning about stuff that I could teach them better about or anything about because I'm not there in their life. That's important to me. [42:57.6]
See, the money will come and go. The time, when it's gone, it's gone, and I see too many people chasing the wrong thing. I see it. I post a picture of a Ferrari, the fucking internet breaks. I tell people what's important and how to get wealthy and how to do it, how to accomplish it all, yes. It's going to take time. Yes, it's going to take hard work. Yes, it's going to take an investment. Yes, you're going to get beat up. Yes, it's going to hurt sometimes. Yes, it’s going to be exciting sometimes. But in the end, it's going to be worth it. A very small number of people want to acknowledge it.
I get it. I get it. But I also want you to get it because I want you to succeed. I want you to succeed all around. There are moments when I don't get to hang out with my family and I want to. I understand that, too, but I'm present when I'm present. I'm at home all day long. I don't have to go anywhere to make money. I don't have to go anywhere to meet partners. I can do it on Zoom. I've been doing this since ’05. I can do it virtually. I can do it via phone. I can do it via Zoom, and I can be right there with my kids three minutes later, playing basketball, riding the motorcycles, playing in the treehouse, jumping on the trampoline, taking a walk, talking and connecting. [44:06.0]
If you show me your schedule and you show me what you do all day, I can show you what's important to you. This is an audit, an audit on you, an audit on your actions. There are some people you need to delete off Facebook, delete off Instagram, delete off Twitter, delete off whatever fucking platform you're on, unsubscribe from their emails. Maybe it's me.
But if you watch my shit and get pissed and angry, ask yourself, is this a good anger or a bad anger? Because a lot of times, by the way, a lot of times, the shit you're getting angry at is actually controlling you. But, again, I like to get angry because I know I control anger and anger is fuel for me, certain types of anger, so we need to understand ourselves and ask what's important to you.
What makes me tick? Who do I want to follow? This guy, all they do is brag, brag, brag. Unfollow. All they do is talk negative, negative, negative. Unfollow. [45:04.8]
You are in control, no one else. Not Mommy, not Dada, not Grandma, Grandpa, Papa, whatever the fuck we call them anymore, all these crazy names. I just remember Grandma and Grandpa, but whatever it is, you're in control. Why are the results not where they want to be? It's because you are the common denominator in all this bullshit.
All I'm saying is please write down what's important to you. Start measuring against that when things present themselves. Start understanding that this is a game of life, a game of hours, a game of inches. This isn't about waking up and being rich and doing nothing. There's no one I know in my world that can't wait to get rich to do nothing, and that's what we're going to be talking about in the next show, about this bullshit retirement term and all this stuff. [46:00.4]
But I can promise you this. For example, for me, there are people above me that I'm watching and I will outpace them when it's my time. I'm going to a race this weekend to hang out with my boy, Sean, and in a race, just because you're one lap down doesn't mean you can't win the race. I might not win the lap. I might not win that speed of that next lap, but my goal was to win the race of life and we're all at different paces. We're all in different vehicles. We're all in different times of our life cycle.
Not only that, you might be going through a winter season. I might be going through a summer season. It might be the sunshine into my world. It might be dark and cold in your world right now, or vice versa. It happens to us all. No one, no one can get away from it. It's a part of life. [47:00.0]
All I'm saying is just please figure out what makes you happy, not even what makes you happy, but what's important to you, because, by the way, it does not make me happy yelling at someone. It does not make me happy, hurting someone's feelings, but it's important to me to help them get results because that's what they're paying for.
Just look around. There are a lot of fucking weak people here. The world is making us weaker. The world is the cancel culture. The world is “It's okay to be blah.” No, it's not.
“Oh, you’ve got the 72nd place out of 72 kids. You deserve a trophy.” I don't deserve dick. I'm lazy. I'm incompetent. I don't want to play. The only reason I'm here is because my parents fucking make me, and I get a trophy?
You understand, people know what the fuck is up. They're not stupid and you know that. That's why you're here.
I appreciate you being here. Thinking about you guys. What's important to you? I have a list and it's editing all the time. It's okay to edit it. It's not to write it in stone and that's it. It's going to evolve. It's going to get bigger. It's going to change as your life changes. It's going to change as you go through the life cycles of life. [48:10.2]
You might be 19 listening to this and like, I don't have no fucking kids. Cool, that's not it. It is what it is. Then maybe if you're in the later years, etc. There are so many variables to this shit, but it all starts with what's important to you.
Hope that helps you. Thinking about you guys, and let's go kick ass. Have an amazing day. Make today count. Peace.
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