You're listening to “Financial Advisor Marketing”—the best show on the planet for financial advisors who want to get more clients, without all the stress. You're about to get the real scoop on everything from lead generation to closing the deal.
James is the founder of TheAdvisorCoach.com, where you can find an entire suite of products designed to help financial advisors grow their businesses more rapidly than ever before. Now, here is your host, James Pollard.
James: In this week's podcast episode, I'm going to chat with you about a little something I call the indirect path to success. It's inspired by a financial advisor who messaged me on LinkedIn and asked about what advice I would give to someone in his early-20s who was trying to become successful—presumably as a financial advisor, because you're asking the financial advisor marketing guy. But I took it to mean, in general, in business, so I am going to zoom out. I am going to talk about business in general. [01:01.4]
The advice I gave to this young man might seem strange at first, so give me some time to explain. I told him to focus on himself first, meaning, he should get his life in order. He should focus on his physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health. Why? Because your business is merely a reflection of you. The result you get in business are based on the results you're getting in your personal life. Therefore, in this podcast episode, I want to break down all four of those things I just mentioned and expand on them for you.
Physical health, the number one thing that I mentioned, it is important because it gives you the energy and the stamina to get things done. I'm going to be 100% honest with you here. This is where I could use the most improvement, because even though I'm stronger than most men, my blood work is fantastic, I am still carrying quite a bit of fat. I am so far below my potential that it's disappointing. I'm going to tell you about one of the saddest days that I've had in recent memory. [02:01.8]
I found this notebook from more than a decade ago, a long time ago, where I used to track all of my workouts. I used to bring a pen and a notebook to the gym. Yeah, I was that guy. I had a notebook, literally, to track every set and rep I did today. I use the Hevy app, H-E-V-Y, and I love that. I know there's also Strong. There are lots of different apps today. Those apps did not exist back in the olden days when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
But I found that notebook, and when I did, it was humbling. You know the expression with the wind knocked out of your sails? That is what happened to me. I just was speechless. I was humbled. I was shocked. I was bamboozled, whatever words you want to use to describe it, because I have fallen so far that it is embarrassing. [02:49.6]
In 2014, for example, I was repping 95 pound dumbbells for shoulder presses. Today, I will be lucky if I get 70 pounds for three sets of 12. Do you know how humiliating that is? It's not the weight itself. It's what I used to be capable of and I let it slip through my fingers. I am now a used-to kind of guy. I really don't like the people who talk about the things they used to do or what they used to accomplish. I want to know about what you're doing today. What are your goals? What are you moving toward? But, yeah, I am now a little bit of what I despise. I am the used-to guy, because I used to be a lot stronger.
The good news, of course, is that I can improve and I am improving. Bit by bit, I'm getting there. My point with improving your physical health is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot grow a thriving business if you're constantly running on caffeine and willpower, if you're just eating Twinkies and Ding Dongs every single day. Your physical health provides the energy and stamina you need to tackle long hours to make critical decisions and to show up as your best self.
I know Warren Buffett eats like a six-year-old, okay? I know Donald Trump eats like a six-year-old. He has McDonald's all the time and you're looking at these people, and you're like, These are super successful people, depending on who you ask for Donald Trump, I guess, and you're wondering, wait a minute, if they're eating this and sleeping terribly and they're still getting all this done, what is wrong with me? They are exceptions. [04:11.4]
It's kind of like my wife used to do a lot of work in the school system, and she would encounter seniors who say, “Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college,” or “Bill Gates dropped out of college. I don't need to go to college.” It's like, you are not Bill Gates. You are getting Cs and Ds in your classes. It is not the same comparison. But you can still improve your health. Wherever you are, you can do it. You can get better.
Think about the foods you put in your body. Do you think there's going to be a difference between someone who eats a donut for breakfast every day versus someone who has steak, eggs and broccoli? It wouldn't even be a fair fight. This is going to get kind of deep, but so is this entire episode—your body is the temple of your consciousness. Everywhere your consciousness goes, unless you're doing astral projection or something, I guess, whatever, your body is going to follow, and since everything stems from your consciousness, it follows that you should keep a healthy temple as well. [05:09.5]
Mental health, next on the list, physical and mental. Mental health is critical. Here are some crazy statistics. I know this is the Financial Advisor Marketing podcast, but this is also the indirect path to success and, again, I want to stress that your business is a reflection of you. The success that you have in your marketing and your systems and your business and everything, it is because of you. It stems from your mental health, your physical health, your emotional health, your spiritual health. That's what we're talking about on this show.
This is crazy to me. Buckle up. Nearly one in five American adults will have a diagnosable mental health condition in any given year. What in the heck? That is 20% of the population. I don't want to trivialize it. I don't want to diminish it at all. If that is you, then get help. Help is available. I just want to throw it out there that that is an insane number to me. [06:00.8]
Another shocking statistic is that, according to a 2023 Pew Research study, 63% of young men between the ages of 18 and 29 are single. There was another study done by Date Psychology which found that, and here we go, this is nutty, 45% of young men between the ages of 18 and 25 had never approached a woman. Think about how crazy that is. If you have 100 young men aged 18 to 25 in a room, 45 of them will have never, not even once approached a woman. What in the heck is going on?
I bring that stat up because this young man asked me about being in the early-20s and trying to be successful. I have only been in one relationship since I was 16, so I can't really talk much here. The only thing I can tell you is that, if you're a young man, having the right person in your corner is so essential. I know there's all this red pill nonsense on the internet about being a high-value man and all this, but the women are out there. They are literally 50% of the population. [07:07.7]
You don't need to chase some social media influencer either. You don't need an Instagram girl. You don't need the girl who brings her camera to the gym and films every single rep and set that she does. You don't need that woman. There are probably-- not probably. I mean, there certainly are probably or certainly beautiful women all over the country in restaurants and libraries and bookstores and volunteer groups literally waiting to be approached. In fact, that same study I just referenced found 77% of women in that age category want to be approached by men.
I just think it's nuts. It's mind-boggling that, what was it, 45% of men aged 18 to 25 have never approached a woman? How in the world can you expect to grow a successful business? Approaching a woman, at least in my opinion, it should be so much easier than going out and getting customers and clients and marketing, and boldly going into the workforce in a capitalistic society. But maybe I'm the weird one here. Maybe I am just totally off my rocker with this. I just think it's crazy. [08:08.3]
Sometimes I will see these, quote-unquote, “alpha males” and these influencers talk about how you should build first and then women will follow. I'm sorry. Again, maybe I'm off my rocker, but I think that's super dumb. You should find a woman to build with you. And if you're a woman, the same goes for you. You should find a man with whom to build. It's a magical thing, building together, and if your boyfriend or girlfriend or potential spouse isn't down to build with you, then he or she isn't the one. I'm sorry, you should not try to build a future with someone who doesn't want to build with you. It seems so obvious, but you just shouldn't.
If you are a young man in your 20s, getting in a good relationship is probably the number one most important thing you can do for your mental health. That's why I'm including it in the mental health section. I'm not sure if this advice will be popular or not. Maybe I'll get some hate for this, but I'm calling it like I see it. [09:00.0]
Here are some of the things I think are helpful outside of relationships. Meditation or mindfulness, or whatever you want to call it, basically staying grounded and clear-headed. I don't purposely sit down and meditate. I don't have a habit where, like, every morning for 30 minutes, I'll sit and meditate. I don't do that, but I find myself doing what other people would call meditation all the time, where I just sit and I think. It could be by the water if I go to the beach. It could be in my room. It could be in my bedroom. It could be at the gym. It could be driving in the car with no music, and I've got the cruise control on one car or I've got the autopilot on the Tesla, and I just sit there and I think. Of course, I pay attention to the road, but it is kind of a meditation for me.
Journaling is an important part of my life, too. I think it's an important part of mental health in general. I personally like journaling because it allows you to process. It allows you to think about your thoughts, metacognition. It allows you to reflect on challenges. It allows you to plan ahead. Plus, it's really cool to be able to look back and see what you were doing and thinking years ago. [10:01.8]
I have notebooks where I have tracked stuff that I have done, accomplishments that I have accomplished, things that I have lost out on, the goals that I have achieved and not achieved, and I can go back through all of those notebooks and I can see exactly what happened in 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, and it's just awesome to have that journey documented.
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Another thing for mental health that I think is super helpful is taking frequent breaks, especially in the beginning, when you're not used to grinding all the time, and I know some people like to make the hustle fashionable and make you believe that you should burn the candle at both ends and go hard, bro, and all that, and I can get down with that every so often. I mean, I think it's important to go hard. I think it's important to really put the work in, but I think it's goofy to try to do that from day one.
I can burn the candle of both ends with the best of them, and I continue to do it every so often, but it requires stamina and you need to build up to that. You don't take someone off the street and expect that person to perform like a high-level athlete on day one. You just don't. You build up to that point. You have the person trained. You have the person get better. [12:06.8]
The reason I bring this up is because entrepreneurship is a mental game. Your ability to stay focused, to make decisions, to solve problems, depends on your mental wellbeing. It comes from your brain. When your mind is cluttered with all this stress and anxiety and overwhelm, it's like you have fog all around you. You will struggle to see the next step, let alone the big picture. That is why mental health is so important.
Spiritual health was next on my list. I remember I talked about, what are the four things? Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. Let’s talk about spiritual for a little bit. I remember reading this study—I wish I could find the source, so my source, I guess, is trust me, bro—where all of these atheists took lie detectors, or lie-detector tests. When they were asked if they believed in God, they said no, because they're atheist. No, they don't believe in God. But the lie detectors still registered what they were saying as a lie for all of them, 100% of them. When they said, “No, I don't believe in God,” their lie detector said, “You are lying.” [13:16.5]
Now, that could be true, it could not be true. I just remember reading about it. I remember as a study, it sounded superficial. I would like to recreate that. I'd like to see it. If you know anything about that, please send information my way, because I guess if someone truly has a belief, I don't know why it would register as a lie, but just kind of cool. Either way, whether that's true or not, it was a turning point in my life, because it was something for me to think about, and it got me thinking about maybe there's something bigger out there.
Another thing is, I used to be big into the law of attraction. I read all the books, Abraham-Hicks, Rhonda Byrne, Bob Proctor, Wallace Wattles. If you can name a law of attraction book written in the past 125 years, I probably read it. I used to be big on manifesting and visualization and all of that. Then I realized that all of the material, every single piece of it, was downstream from the Bible. [14:12.3]
That's one of the reasons why I'm just like, if you're reading these books, you might as well go directly to the source—and I recommend reading the entire Bible, whether you are a Christian or whether you're Jewish or not, whether you believe in any of it or not. You should still not let the sun set on your life without completing that task in your lifetime.
Do I believe that we become what we think about as espoused in these law of attraction books? Yes and no, because if it was that easy, then I would have turned into a blonde woman when I was 13 years old. It’s not entirely true. But I do believe it's obvious that we think about the things we want, and if possible, take conscious and unconscious action toward achieving those things, and I think it's important to understand that. I think it's important to understand that you do get the things that you think about most of the time, if you take consistent action towards them or toward those things and you really don't give up. There are so many different factors in that, and that's one of the reasons why I believe setting goals is so important, because at least then you will set your intention. [15:17.0]
By the way, here's something wild. I had this long, long, multi-hour conversation with chat GPT, where I was just sitting down at my computer and typing back and forth, and then I would go on my phone and I would continue the conversation. I would use the voice mode. It was a long, deep conversation about free will and determinism, and the law of attraction and spiritual growth.
It was legitimately one of the most intense conversations I have ever had, especially because I asked it to support its theories with evidence and science and cite its sources, and I would check the sources, because sometimes ChatGPT is just full of crap, and I would check it, I would make sure that it was right. What I concluded from that conversation was this: we probably don't have as much free will as we think we do, but the little bit we have is extremely important, and apparently, our intentions are critical. [16:12.8]
I'll be honest with you, that sent chills up and down my spine when ChatGPT started talking about the power of our intentions. Setting your intentions, it's the process of identifying what you want out of life. You focus your thoughts, energy and actions to get what you want. That is your intention. You intend to do this thing. You intend to become a better marketer. You intend to get 20 clients this year.
I don't know all the ins and outs. I'm not an expert on this, but apparently, according to ChatGPT in this super deep conversation about free will and determinism, and philosophy and spiritual growth, and all this stuff, apparently, setting your intentions is one of the most important things you can possibly do as a human being. Back to my advice for a young 20-something. Maybe a good piece of advice would be to set your intentions. Get clear on what you want out of life, and while you're at it, at least ponder the idea that there's more to life than what you can observe with your eyes and ears. That's all I'll say about that for now. [17:10.8]
Finally, we have emotional health. Again, what are the four parts? Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. Emotional health is important because business comes with setbacks and disappointments and stressful moments that you need to be resilient. You need emotional health and emotional health is what helps you get through those storms without losing your momentum.
I'm sure you've experienced days where bad things happen and kind of derail your momentum. Imagine that 10 years go by and you lose your momentum once in a blue moon and another financial advisor doesn't. That other financial advisor is going to have such an advantage over you because of this one aspect. That's why emotional resilience is so crucial. [17:57.1]
I am not even close to being an expert on emotional health. I don't want to position myself as being one, but I can tell you that as a business person, strong emotional health is like a ship with a steady anchor. Those are the sorts of people who remain calm. They're composed, even in life's choppy waters. Why do I call this the indirect path to success? Because, again, your business is a reflection of you. As you work on yourself, your business will probably improve, too. I actually don't think you can avoid it. I think that your business has to get better if you get better. But I'm sure there are exceptions. I'm sure people will fight me on this.
When you prioritize your physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health, you will show up as a more balanced, a more focused and a more energized version of yourself. That is not just good for you. If you think about that, you realize it's good for your business. If you're physically healthy, you'll have enough energy to handle your workload. If you're mentally sharp, you'll make better decisions. You'll stay productive. If you're spiritually aligned, you'll stay connected to your purpose, and if you're emotionally resilient, you'll get through challenges that come your way. [19:03.4]
I want to share this lesson I learned from Zig Ziglar. I'm currently listening to a bunch of Zig Ziglar audiobooks and they are fantastic. In one of them, he said to visualize an employee with all of the characteristics of a great employee. If you were just picturing the best person to work for you, what characteristics would that person have? I want you to do this exercise. What are some of the characteristics of a great employee? What comes to mind? Maybe you are thinking of honesty, maybe loyalty, proactivity, like the ability to fix things without being asked. Can you do something without someone breathing down your back? Stuff like that. What are those characteristics?
Let's go through each of the ones that I named. Is honesty an attitude or a skill? It's an attitude. What about loyalty? Is loyalty an attitude or a skill? I would say, loyalty is an attitude. What about proactivity? The ability to fix things, to get stuff done without being asked? I would say that's an attitude, too. We'll stop there, but even if you thought of another 50 characteristics, you would find that they are mostly attitudes. [20:12.7]
Okay, what about this? If you had all of those characteristics, like honesty and loyalty and proactivity, would you also make a good employer? You’d be a good employee, we agree on that, but would you make a good employer? Yes, right? Would you make a good parent? Yes. Would you make a good sibling? Yes. Would you make a good child? Yes. My point is this, and I guess Zig Ziglar’s point—the thing that makes you successful at nearly everything in life is really your attitude, not your skills. You can always get the skills.
This is the Financial Advisor Marketing podcast. I talk about the skill of marketing all the time. I have more than 300 episodes. You can go back and listen to it. I give the same information to tens of thousands of financial advisors, but some succeed and some don't. What makes the difference? I'm telling you right now, a huge part of it is the attitude that financial advisors bring to the table. Someone with a great attitude, someone who really wants to work on himself or herself, is going to be the one who is successful. [21:16.0]
So, that is the indirect path to success. That is the advice I would give to a young 20-something who wants to be successful. Focus on yourself. Again, repetition is key, physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health. If you lock in and work on yourself, your business, at least in my experience, will have no choice but to improve.
I will catch you next week. [21:38.8]
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