Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
Hey there. Welcome to find your fierce. We are going to continue to live, just breathe. Flip the script series, my friend, Shannon and Crystal, and I. We've been coming together in the just breathe group each week and diving into topics such as identity, the power of our words, prayer. So glad that you are back joining us today. But before we switch over to our discussion, if you have not done so yet, and want to join a sisterhood to growing your faith joined the just brief Facebook group, let's dive into this week's topic.
(01:03): Enjoy what's up ladies? How are you? We are here again. Crystal Shannon and I on the flip the script guys. It has been so powerful these last few weeks. It's been absolutely amazing. I want to thank all of you who are plugging in. Obviously I always say you need to hear what you need to hear at the time. You need to hear it. And that's kind of how these flip the scripts are taking off. We pray we have no idea what we're going to talk about the day of it's what's on our hearts. Of course, we want your feedback as well as what's on your heart. If there is something that you are wanting to maybe discuss or something that we want to, you want us to dive in a little bit deeper, please reach out, let us know on that. And thank you for all of those who are also plugging into the find your fierce podcasts.
(01:53): I know a replay of the power of our words had made such a huge impact last week when it was released on the podcast. And so I want to thank you for plugging into that as well. What's up ladies? How are you? Good. Good, good. Yeah, we're back. So what we decide to talk about, and I think we all agreed wholeheartedly on, on this doubt. I can't imagine any woman having any doubt. Never, never. I know. I know. So we're going to talk a little bit about doubt and how that impacts our life and where we're putting our trust, who we're putting our trust in and who we're focusing on, what we're listening to, what we're fueling our minds and hearts and how it ultimately comes out and impacts our actions and our behavior and our responses, our attitude, even. So where should we, where should we start on this?
(02:54): When it comes to doubt? Why, why take a deep dive into this today? I think for my heart and like why this topic was so like resonating? Well, one, I had a dream and I was preaching to my dreams and dig into those, but in my own walk, like as I like, and I think of our topics of what we've been talking about in here and, you know, we started with the words that we listened to and we started with what we're speaking, but it's just as important of what we're hearing, which then in turn is what we believe. And oftentimes what we hear, and it can be something that is just flippant that somebody might say about us, or we don't even say it about ourselves. Just this small little piece of, you know, fear or doubt that then we speak it and, and then we grab it and then we start believing it.
(03:48): And then that derails us from the direction of maybe where God is calling us to go and just focusing on, you know, who we're around, what we're hearing and what we're choosing to grab. You know, you might hear it, but it's like, Hmm, Nope, that's a lie, like recognizing what is truth and what is not, that's just where my, where my heart is on this topic. Well, how do you do that for that? I mean, we, we, I know we kind of talked a little bit about that a couple of weeks back. Obviously we need to know what is real first before we can determine that that's what we're facing is not right. I think it was Priscilla Strider that used the example of the dollar bill and the counterfeit. You guys remember that, or I've heard that, you know, we'll study the dollar. And the only way that you can determine if that is fake or counterfeit, is by studying the real thing to study the real dollar.
(04:51): And I know that hit home with me and it was like, Oh my gosh, because again, instead of focusing on the counterfeit or the fake or the false they're studying the real, that just kind of popped in you know, cause I think it was in one, in one of her studies and it just hit home. It's like, why are we not focusing on the real thing, the truth, but you have to study the real one. And that's where like, you know, we've been, you know, we focus on, you know, scripture in here and we focus on, on the Lord and not that is it. That is it. It is the focus on Jesus. So whatever is real, whatever. I mean, he says he is the way the truth and the life, right? So if he is the way, the truth and the life, what are his characteristics?
(05:34): What is his character? What is the character of God? What is the character of Jesus? And if it is anything opposite of that, then you know, it's either your own thinking or it's a flaming dark from the enemy. Like, so there's that. And I love that. You said that like one of the things that the Lord has really laid on my heart, as far as like women being such battle warriors, you know that the colonizer, our life has to be such a battle warrior. It seems like I give you the blueprint for career. I'll give you the blueprints. But so in order to understand the blueprint, we have to understand the one who created the blueprint. And I love that. Where, where, you know, he's like, if you are not, you know, in this word, if you're not, if you're not reading it, if you're not studying me, if you're not studying how I have always done things, you really don't know how to battle these, these doubts.
(06:29): You know, that start coming. You're just like you get overwhelmed. Like, Whoa, I don't even know what to do with that. So I am loving that real dollar bill so that you can determine the fake cause this, this year gives the real Jesus versus, you know, the fake stuff that is being thrown at you. I think all of us need to reminded too, of who he is, what he can do, because it's really easy to get sucked back down into a trap and, and Waller and you know, the doubt, the self pity, the questioning of everything, you know, what are some of the things that you remind yourself of, of who he is? And I know there's women out there too, like let's, let's share the good, who is he?
(07:14): Go ahead, Chris. Because I do, I think we, we forget who he is and if we're supposed to focus on the good, who is he? Who is he to you? And go first, do you want me to go first? He was my wake up call. I think I it's just a wake up call because I was living in this vicious cycle of, you know, control and, and questioning and, you know, looking side to side, you know, are you good enough? You know, my egg, am I good? The good mom and a great wife and my there for my kids, am I doing enough? Am I not doing enough? Right. I mean, it was just kind of like the wake up call where you just kind of slapped ya and tells ya, you know, do you remember who you are? And I think, you know, that that takes a lot, you know, when you talk about a journey and you're in that, it doesn't feel good when you're in that moment and walking through the fire and, you know, questioning all of those things.
(08:08): But I think we need to go through that and then gently be reminded sometimes even not so gently, you know, there's some boldness to it, but he was my wake up call. So that's, that's who he, who he is to me. And that guy that tells ya, you know, you're here for a reason. So what about you? He was my daddy. It was one thing that I needed. I needed to know, you know, I was a kid that grew up now. I grew up with a mom and a dad. My dad has been in my life since I was three years old, but there was that void of my biological father who left. And, you know, I didn't know all of the ins and outs as a child. I know them now, but I didn't know them then, but all I felt was abandoned and rejected and orphaned.
(08:52): And I lived in that doubt of my worth and my value because somebody didn't want me. And so when I had my, I had, I had a wake up moment like you had, but, and then I had a moment in 2017, may of 2017 where I was fully depressed, like fully depressed. Couldn't get off the couch whatsoever. And that lasted from like, I don't know, at least three months, about three months, almost four months. That lasted where I couldn't get up off of the couch. And I heard the Lord say, get up. And from then I just knew, like he was dead. He was daddy like, come on kiddo. This is enough. This is enough. This is not who I need you to be. Do you understand who you are to me and how much I love you? And then I started to really seek him and how he loved me.
(09:45): There were other things before that that I was seeking, but that was, that was my personal moment where I was like, I needed my dad. And he was a dad who cared, loved me and wanted to pick me up and move me forward. So that's who he was to me personally. He wasn't gonna allow you to settle and to stay down there because I know the enemy wants to keep you down there. Right, Chris? Well, several words are coming to my mind, savior, Redeemer, protector, healer. I did not know my identity. I didn't know who I was in Christ and definitely was striving in the world for everyone out, everybody else's acceptance instead of knowing and knowing who I am. And that's what, you know, he is really me to understand. And, you know, most recently with my, you know, health walk that I went through, you know, just understanding that, you know, he is he's my healer.
(10:48): And that is a, that's an amazing thing to graphs of just the heals. Well, he owes the bitterness that broke the mistreated. He heals the victim, he heals the anger, the betrayal, the Les can go on and on and on. Yeah. But you're right. It is it's, you know, when she was talking about that healer, you know, for crystal, it was that, that physical healing, but for a lot of us, it's spiritual and mental healing. I didn't realize know it was mental. I, you know, for a long time, but I didn't realize the void that I had spiritually, which brought in that mental battle constantly because I didn't have that firm foundation of who he was and to understand, you know, that Jesus is our rock, that place where we stand, you know, on that firm foundation. And so once I understood the spiritual aspect of it, the mental started to heal, you know, like being out on a couch for four months, you know, for me, it was my oldest daughter was moving out and I knew she wasn't coming back home.
(11:58): You know, she was spreading our wings and my girl was leaving. And so that was a major that was my first day that left the nest. And so that was a major hit to me. And I was just flat out like done. Couldn't pick myself up off of that couch and then to hear the Lord say, get up. And it was almost like I was healed from that depression and anxiety like right then I just, I knew when I knew, when I knew that he loved me in there, there was this joy that just Rose up in me where depression could no longer lie in that way. So, and that, that's just my story that may not be everybody's story with depression, but you know, my story with depression, it was like, I've literally not suffered a day of depression since then. So that was like a miraculous healing, you know, for me in that moment.
(12:50): But again, that was knowing that he was my dad, that there was nothing that I needed to be afraid of, that he was going to be there no matter what, I mean, scripture tells us that he goes before us. And when I think of that, I think of the book of Joshua where he's preparing them in God's specifically gives Joshua that, that instruction, that the arc needed to go into the Jordan before everybody else came. And the arc of the covenant was, you know, where God's presence line. And when the, when the arc went into that, this was during flood season, the flood is back. You know, that lands are dry. I think we've talked about this before. He goes before us, which is amazing. He goes before us, he folds back the floodwaters. And in that scripture, all of the Israelites go through and you can imagine their pilot freaked out, like, hold on a minute.
(13:38): It was like a flat on one side and dry land on the other, never saw this before lane. What are we talking about here? And so here's like, you know, 500,000 plus people are crossing this Jordan and the arc stays there until the last goes. The last cross is, and then God comes up in the rear of them and the waters go back to the water, went back to normal, but that's that protection. I go before you and I am your rear guard. So I paid that path before you and I protect you. So what you don't see on that what's behind you, that you don't see, I've got, I've totally got that. And so that, you know, that character of God has helped me with that. With doubt, you know, when I'm struggling with those, those seasons of doubt or the seasons of familiarity, I will say familiarity things that would maybe cause me to go into that place of that old depression that I was, I now recognize those weapons of warfare. And I trust the Lord so much that I'm like, Hmm, I just resist the devil any fleas. So, you know, it's that trust factor with God and the character that he showed me, if that makes any sense, do you think doubt is different than worry? You know, when I think of doubt or self doubt or questioning sometimes worry, pops in,
(14:57): But I don't know if that's the same thing. What are your, what are your thoughts on that?
(15:01): I think it's an extension is I feel like doubt has to come first and the worry comes second. So like, if we go back to Genesis chapter three where, you know the enemy, like, did God really say this? You know what I mean? The worry didn't come after until God spoke. So the seed of doubt was already there. They eat, the fruits, broke the covenant with the Lord, and then when they heard the Lord's voice, then they were like free. And so I feel like the seed of doubt has to come first for the weapon of worry to come in. If that makes sense. The questioning first. Yes. And then the worry is just like, it's almost like sometimes it'll come with like a machine gun, you know, she's like at you and you're like, wait, no, I don't know if I can do that.
(15:47): So, and that's where that knowing the character of our Papa. Well, for me, Papa, what do you think, crystal? I took my hair. There we go. I think there are any, they're an extension from each other, you know, I think the doubt, definitely it might just be the something that's just an unworthiness or just not confident in yourself, confident in, you know, whatever that thing is that there's just a lack of confidence that starts to become this little piece of doubt. And then because you're doubting the worry, you know, just gets manifested, you know, because then you're not sure what to do with that. You're not walking in a certain direction and you're paying more attention to the other things. And instead of, you know, what God's word says about you or what the Lord is even telling you, and then of course worry has a huge door to walk into then, you know, so yeah. But I do think that they, they definitely can, they coincide and they often come together. But I think doubt is probably first let's talk about testing and how God tests you. And if that's a thing, because like how do you know if it's coming from God? How do you know if it's coming from the enemy?
(17:02): There's doubt right there. There's doubt. Talk about that. Yeah.
(17:06): Well I know for me, I pray all the time. I am praying all the time and I am, you know, even, even getting together with other believers and asking them to pray with me. I mean, that was very pivotal, very pivotal, early in my walk too, of having other believers praying in agreement with me. But I think prayer, I know in my life is really pivotal in really knowing what direction I need to take and hearing, you know, hearing the Lord. I think otherwise without that, I mean, God will speak to you in scripture and you know, in, in the word like you will definitely. And it's interesting, at least for me, it'll be, I'll see the same scripture a lot. Like I was in a scripture early today and then someone else said the same scripture on another call. I was on.
(18:01): I'm like, okay, God, I'm listening. You know, little things like that, that happen. I don't know. I just pay attention to those little things now and they stand out. So God will always confirm his word. Always, it'll be over and over and over again, then he'll confirm it. So that that's a Testament to that. As far as like testing goes, you know, I love crystal that you say, if it's not good, it's not gone. Like you say that a lot. That's not good. It's not God, but there are times where God will test us. And in Joe, that is the first thing. When I literally, in the first chapter of Joe, the title in my Bible, it says the Lord allows, allow Satan to test Joe. So he will allow testing in your life. One of the things that God showed me a couple years ago was a vision of a card catalog.
(18:52): And I don't know if I talked about that on here or not, but there are familiar things that the enemy has studied. You, he has studied your habits. He studied your weaknesses. He studied those things and he will continue to come back at those weaknesses. Right? So, I mean, if you have a best friend and a best friend knows you like always say in a marriage, right. You know, your husband, your husband knows you, you know what, we'll earn them, right. Or, you know what will set them off, set them in a tizzy or sick Heller. Right? So they're that, that's what the enemy does. Like he studies where you're weak and he will continuously come back in your weaknesses, whether that's in food, hello, pick me food. Whether that's your children, whether that's your husband, your finances, if you struggle with any addictions, you know, things that the things that will, will pop up in order to push you back to the things that will destroy you.
(19:50): Okay? So the enemy has studied all of that stuff, but here's what happens when you grow in the Lord. And when you understand who God is, you're starting to see where you want to change your life. You're starting to see where you know what, God, I really don't want to sit and not anymore. And you start to move forward, right? And you make this great progress and God will allow a testing. Key, allow a testing to see if you will stand firm and stand firm. Again, like it tells us in Ephesians chapter six, when the enemy is coming at you, will you stand firm and stand firm again in order to move forward. And it's amazing because when I think about Joe in everything that he went through, I can't even imagine going through the losses. The, you know, we don't know how long this, this could have been over 20 years.
(20:42): We don't know. We don't know how long this was. And all of this torment that this man went through and all of this testing that was allowed because he was baseball. When we love God, we are faithful. Listen, the enemy is not going to torment you. If you are on his side, let's just be honest, right? He's not going to torment you when you're on his side. But when you have chosen to live a life that is righteous and lovely in the Lord, that's when those arrows start to come and God is like, no, I trust you. You've chosen me. You, I already chose you. I already knew you before I formed your enemy chose you. Now you're choosing me. So I trust you. I trust you that you will faithfully serve me. And he allows that. And it's amazing because that is resistance training, right?
(21:30): Let's talk about workouts. It's resistance training. So every time we get tempted or tested this way, and we persevere, we've had this, this strengthening, this resistance testing that we won't go back to that anymore. And then that you can start to decipher when it's actually the enemy. And actually the lure you can kind of, you can see it cause you're like, if you've graduated and that, that mess with you, doesn't mess with you anymore. Then you know, it was God. If that messes you is still messing with you and still messing with you and still messing with you, that's you and an agreement with the enemy and he's continuously coming at you. So it's amazing to me in those. And there's a lot more explanation, but just to keep that kind of simple and that way that's something that God has shown me. Just in the example of job, just reading, even chapter one, you can see, you know why Joe was tested by the Lord.
(22:22): God loved him and trusted him because he was faithful. So that's one thing that brings to me. If you guys have anything else you don't know, sorry. I feel like I just think everyone needed to hear that. Yeah. When we're in that agreement, it's like, you're walking around and you have this cloud over you. Sometimes you can even see the cloud on yourself or other people like there's this cloud and you know, Oh, like, yeah, it's raining again on them. Yep. When is it going to stop? But we're going to have to choose the Lord for it to be able to fight back in that rain stop each and every time God is a gentleman, he is never going to force you to do anything ever. He wants you to choose him. And when you choose him, these words they're even this, you know, they could be this big, seeing this big, but to the Lord, that's huge.
(23:19): That's huge. He loves us so much that he's like, just choose me. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. But if you choose me, just watch and see what I do watch and see, and the direction that I'm going to take. You, you know, there is resistance on that path. Good, good. Because that makes us stronger in him. I mean, really, if we think about it, do we want to doubt anymore? Do we want to live? Do we want to be doubtful anymore? No. I don't know anybody that would want to sit in that cesspool all the time. You know? So, you know, bring on the testing and you know, it's rough. Yes. But it's good because then it builds that belief. It builds that fate, you know, and it builds you to, in this strength, you know, where things used to like take you off.
(24:10): And now you're like, I don't even have time for that. Like I just, you know, Lord bless that. I forgive that. And I'm good. But you remember being back there again, my hands flailing and doing your boss, me, I was this girl that was me. Not anymore praying the Lord, except when it's to the enemy, then I'm like, I ain't got time for that. But, but yeah, you want to be in that and warm and a gracious date. And more like when crystal mentioned this here, let's talk about this. My instant thought was the doubt of self doubt, self, self, self self. And I'm just sitting here listening to all of this. And it's like, it's not the self doubt. It's the doubt between who are you going to believe? Who are you going to trust? And what are you going to stand on? It's not about me, all these things.
(25:06):
Like I have self doubt with, of man. Shall I do that? Can I do it? I don't know. Am I strong enough at going back? But it's not. It's like, I'm not doubting me or we shouldn't be Downing ourselves. We should be doubting the enemy to get it away and have a hundred percent full trust faith in him. And again, focusing on the real thing. And I think that comes when sitting down and asking the Lord, who am I? Who am I in you? Who do you say I am? Because that's exactly what we need to remember. Because when that doubt, doubt creeps in, we say, no, no, no, no, no. I know who I am in the Lord, because you said I am. And you know, just getting alone in your, in your prayer, in your prayer closet and just sitting down with a journal and just asking, who do you say I am?
(26:01):And you will hear, you will hear who you are. And, and it's just, I don't know that that's what we grasp because if whatever we're believing or whatever, we're thinking, if it's not lining up with who God says we are and his original intention for our life, then it needs thrown out. It needs to go, it needs to go on the trash. But if that particular thing does line up with what God says, who he says we are, but it's just us being fearful. Then that's something we know, okay. I need to press into that. Why am I afraid? What am I walking in that I need to let go of that I'm afraid to step forward because that particular thing that I need to step forward in is who God says I am. It's really just to say freeing and then digging in a little bit deeper. It's so it's so good. How to increase your faith in him. And that's the whole journey of that. What we're on. I have this on,
(27:01): It keeps running through my head and I feel like I'm supposed to like tell everyone about this. But I,
(27:06): On Sunday evening I went to a liberal church and there was a revival of revival, man. There, he was, he was an evangelist and he was telling us this, I guess this like, actually, I don't know if it's like a parable or what it is. But anyway, there was a guy who did experiments. And in one case you have white rats and in one kg at BlackRock, and then in the center, there was another cage. Then he would put one black, one, one white, one in leave. And when he would come back, there would be one rat left. So this went on and on and on and on. I'm just going to condense this story. It goes on and on and on doesn't matter, another man comes to the scientist and is like, Hey, listen. Like what? So what, what's the variable here? Right? So they're going into their scientific lingo.
(27:48): Like what are the variable here? Like, is it, you know, which one came out percentage wise more? Was it the white rat or the black rat? And the guy laughed. And he said, he goes, listen. He said, honestly, he said it was whoever got the good food. I was like, come on, Lord, preach it. He said, if he gave the black rat, the good food, the good nutrition, the black rat would be in there with a full belly. And the other one was not there. And that if it was a white rat, same thing, he's like, where are you being fed? This is what the evangelist said. He said, what are you feeding yourself? If you are feeding yourself, those seeds of doubt. Right? So if we've got flaxseed and we've got almonds, right, black, Cedar, little almonds are big, both are amazing for your body, but one will fill you up a little bit faster than the other one's gone.
(28:39): Right? So it's like, are you going to listen to the enemy? Or are you going to listen to God? What are you feeding yourself? Because this one you're getting nutrition and this one is nothing but empty calories. Right? So probably a better thing would be like almonds and gummy bears. Right? So empty calories here. And then the good stuff in this one. So it's, you know, if those seeds of doubt, those are the gummy bears. Those are the ends of calories. Pitch that over your shoulder, grab onto those almonds. All need to have good milk. They have good nutrition. They have good milk. This is God like God is so good that he gives you such good nutrition from the inside out. It's not about the physical body. He gets in there from the spiritual side to the mental then to the physical. So when we feed ourselves spiritually with the Lord, the mental anguish that we go through in those seeds of doubt, they're not there or their lessons because you know, your walk is your walk as a journey.
(29:40): So in journey, seeds of doubt, maybe bigger. But then as you walk, the scale starts to go like this, and then you don't have it anymore. When he spoke out on Sunday, I was like hot darn on platter, Lord. That is amazing. I love that. And that's really where we need to be. What are we eating? Which one are you feeding angels on the shoulders? When we were kids, we had the, we had the cartoon. You have a bad angel. You have a good angel. Which one are you listening to? You know what I mean? Which one are you giving more attention? If this is a bad one and you're here all the time, then you're being taken a stray that if you're listening to this one, you're being lifted in the glory of the Lord. And you're going to rise up to where God gone meet you.
(30:20): And we're gone have what God has planned for you. So I just thought it was awesome. I felt like I needed to share that. I was like, I'm like burning. I'm like, Ooh, it doesn't want to come out. My chair, Lord. So when that good, I sat there like this just lightning bolt. It was awesome sauce. I loved it. Loved it. That sums it all up. It does. What are you listening to? What are you seeing yourself? Who are you listening to? Who do you put yourself around? What are you reading? What are you watching? What are you telling yourself? Like you just summed it all up, like in a nice, pretty bow.
(30:58): If they could just try this, like do a trial, do a seven day trial with the good stuff and what happens and how everything shifts. It's like, you know, those people that you see that has that rain cloud, if they just, if they just knew that they could switch it, if they just knew that if they just made this one little tweak in their life, if they just knew that if they fed them with the good stuff, what could happen and how their life can completely be flipped and changed, if they just know and you just need to know. So yeah, well now they do. Now. They do thank you for joining us today. I always want to invite you to our fit and fierce community. If you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle a crazy busy life, then head on over to beef and fierce.com and become unstoppable with us. Or again, if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing your faith joint or just breathe Facebook group heads up on the next episode, the flip the script series, we'll continue. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. As we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and review as well, talk with you next time. Be fierce, be unstoppable.
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