Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.
(00:34): Hey there. Welcome to find your fears. This is episode 31, and we're going to talk about starting over and why it is a requirement of life, why it is essential and why I actually encourage it. We're also going to dive into some strategies that you can apply to help you start over as well. So let's face it. There's really no easy way to start over, you know, whether after a relationship, the end of a career, an unexpected move, or it can even be when it comes to our fitness journey. Anytime we find ourselves in a situation that we haven't prepared for. And I know so many of us right now are being faced with having to start over in some area of our life. We can either buckle under the weight of the blow, which can feel like our only option at first, or we can choose to start over and flip the script by looking at it as a new beginning.
(01:22): And I know that there are times when things happen in our lives, that result in us having to start over from scratch or to start again or to pivot. And I know that these can be extremely difficult times, especially when you were at peace with your previous life or the fact maybe we have tried and tried and tried many times before, but I kind of really want to pick up or hone in on after when that like that dust settles or after we have given ourselves some room to process, or when we are at our enough is enough point because we certainly don't want to mask anything. Okay. So we're going to talk about when we reached that moment, when maybe the tears have stopped, you've taken your first deep breath in months and you, and you're still, you're quiet. Maybe you're wondering how on earth something good can come next.
(02:15): And if you should even bother hoping for it, and ladies I'm telling you, yes, you should. Here's the thing. We always have a choice, even when it seems like there's literally no way ever know how, or that it's absolutely impossible that we could do anything to change our circumstances. We can, you know, we can rewrite the script of the mind that says life is happening to us. And instead say, but power also lies within us. And I just love that quote. We can start over. We can begin the process of creating our new life. We can rewrite the script of what we have believed to be true, what we have spoken to ourselves. And we can begin to start over, start fresh, to focus on what path God has this on, wants us on all while feeling empowered to do so. So let's start rewriting.
(03:07): Okay. So we have number one, I am a failure. Let's flip it to failure can teach me. And I'm not even sure if I like the word failure or a failure is really such a thing. As we can learn from all of our experiences. I can bet that most of us and I'm included myself in this are pretty afraid of failure or have been at some point in time. It just doesn't come as second nature to embrace our faults, to embrace our failures. I mean, that's something that we need to work on daily. How often do we shout it from the rooftops? Yes, it happened, right? I failed. I started a weight loss journey. I failed. I started a bit, it went under, I failed. We're not shouting that out, but really how often do you tell yourself quietly secretly? How many times does it run through your mind?
(03:58): Just in one day and one hour that if I start over that we're just going to fail again, or that you're a failure that you fail at everything. Why try? Why try again, guys, even if you're not starting over because of a failure you personally made, chances are, it feels so devastating because you're telling yourself that you failed. Regardless. We need to be able to break free from that cycle of thought, we need to be able to engage it, dive right in own it, own how you think you failed, feel it, and then realize you realize that you're still standing. It doesn't have to break you. We can own it. Learn from what went wrong and look at it as this valuable knowledge that you have wouldn't have gained otherwise. What did you learn about yourself? What did you learn about others? What did you discover about your needs, who you truly are, things that maybe you were blind to, what boundaries do you need to create in your life?
(04:52): What lessons did you take from this learning is never a bad thing. You know, and failure is a great way of learning what works for you and what doesn't, but it's also a great way to learn how to do things differently in the future. You know, failure is part of life and we all have to go through some sort of failure in our lifetime, probably a lot of them. So I don't want you to be afraid of the fact and allow yourself to embrace new opportunities with this open heart and an open mind, you know, try new things. And when doing so embrace the fact that there's always going to be a possibility of failure, that that's just part of life. And it's important that you and myself included remain. Unfazed is probably the word I wanna use unphased by that possibility, do not be afraid to try new things, take risks, or, you know, to start over just simply because you may fail.
(05:47): I read this the other day. It says maturity is learning how to bend, where youth digs his heels in. You know, are you willing to flip that script? Are you willing to bend? Are you willing to start again? You know, despite the past failures, the roadblocks that your past experiences, I mean, you get to decide what you do with that information or with that past experience. I mean, there's no force dictating that you need to obsess over the past failures or the need to deny it. I mean, you can acknowledge it. You can acknowledge life's movement and progression the ebb and flow without being surprised at sometimes things do not work out or that maybe we didn't X or the fact that we sometimes just come up short. It just, it doesn't mean that we're a failure. It just means that we can decide whether we get to grab a hold of the opportunity to start again and to claim this present moment.
(06:41): We get to believe that there are greater things. Still ahead. You are not a failure. The question is what have you learned? Number two, I'm not good enough. I give up too. I get to be better. No change is awesome. I remember last summer, our family watched this Caterpillar, a friend gave us a Caterpillar in this plastic clear plastic cup. And we were able to watch this Caterpillar turn into this gorgeous butterfly to watch that. And then a morphous. I mean, it was, it's pretty awesome. I mean, it's a beautiful wondrous process. And as human beings, we get to experience that change as well. We get to partake in that wondrous process too. It just comes down to if we choose to, what's amazing about the future of, you know, maybe starting over, even if it's the hundredth time is that no one has a hold on it.
(07:35): You know, besides God, we have no idea. What's in store for us, his promises that he has placed on. And over our life, ladies, that's just a glimpse of what's in store for us. He sees us as more. He sees us as doing more, you know, then we can even imagine. And I know we try to map out our life. We have plans. We have these visions, but no one, including yourself can tell you for certain what your life is going to look like. So if you decide to turn the page and pursue something unexpected or surprising, or to start again, to start over, to start fresh, maybe you'll fail at it. But you know, we've already just talked about how that can work in your favor. Maybe it won't last very long. Okay. But I know that we all understand the endings are only natural, but maybe, maybe you're going to be better for it starting over in any context, again, your relationships, your career, your health, our faith.
(08:31): It is so loaded with possibility of moving beyond and overcoming with what didn't work, what previously held you back. Or we get to stomp out those fingers in lies that don't deserve to rule over our life anymore. And if we can overcome any of those, just even one is going to be able to create room to become a more engaged, passionate, inspiring individual. So when life takes a turn or we're forced to start over, or we choose to start something new and fresh, remember that you and you alone have the power to say, this can make me better. Who am I becoming in the process? You know, and I get it. We may shy away from change, or we may shy away from failure. But I know because I feel it. I know I'm not the only one that we also crave these stories of overcoming.
(09:22): And you are an overcomer. You are good enough. You're like this Caterpillar going through this wondrous metamorphic process, you know, and we can't have one without the other. It all takes us to have courage, to keep trying and to keep working on getting better. I mean, we get that opportunity. We get the opportunity to be better today than we were yesterday. Number three, I can't make a difference too. I have a mission and purpose in this life. Say it again. I have a mission and purpose in this life. We're flipping the script, guys. You, my friend are meant to stand out. You are set apart. You have this calling on your life. I mean, you're not meant to fit in. So I don't even know why we try. Right? A lot of times we try to fit in or we hold back because we believe that that's, what's going to help us move forward.
(10:13): Or we possibly a lot of times care what others think, right? That forces us to put this lid on. But those who make a difference, okay, are the ones that truly stand out. Or when we bust through that glass ceiling, we put the lid off. We take that lid off. You know, those who serve those who shine, you have a mission and you have a purpose. So I encourage you to write this mission statement. I love mission statements, right? Write a mission statement for yourself. What is it that you stand for? What do you believe in, what is it that you want out of life? And more importantly, who are you called to be, you know, and create a list of your values, the whys behind your values, how you can serve others, how you can serve the Lord, you know, and this mission statement is a way for you to be able to identify the way you want to live your life.
(11:04): You know, the person that you were created to be, it forces us to think deeply about our life. It clarify its purpose, identify what's really, truly important to you. And it helps you discover those deepest values and aspirations that you have. And by writing these points down, by having that mission statement, you're going to be jamming them into your brain and your heart so that you can be sure that they are a priority in your life. It's like this imprint your values and purposes in your mind. So they become a part of you. And when you have that mission, that purpose, that's so clear, it allows you to embrace that fresh start to help you start over. And it builds that strong foundation to start something new. So I want us to recap here, as we're flipping the script, you know, as we were either starting something new or we're forced to start over, we need to always learn from those failures and those letdowns ask yourselves, what did we discover?
(11:57): What knowledge and wisdom did we gain from, you know, all of that and being okay with moving on to, we got to get better. We get to get better every day, starting over can help us be better for it. The changes that occur within us, Molinas into who we are ultimately created a B and three. We have a mission, you have a purpose. So starting over it's required. It's, it's part of that as we live that mission out and as it is in our mission, so we don't give up, right. We press in, we lean in and we take that lid off. So we are called to be set apart and shine, you know? And so start over and then start over again and then start over again if need be, because the best is yet to come. And part of that journey guys is taking care of yourself and making our health a priority.
(12:44): So if you have zero energy to focus on yourself and need extra support and accountability from women who know what it's like to juggle crazy busy life, head on over to beef and fierce.com and become unstoppable with us, or if you want to join a sisterhood dedicated to growing your faith, join our just brief Facebook group heads up on the next episode, I'm trying to recruit my husband on a new series. So join us next time. See if he agrees. Thanks so much for joining me today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. As we all know, someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time. Be fit, be fierce, be unstopped.
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