Hello, this is Corey. Hey, before we get into today's episode, I want to share something with you. I've been very fortunate and blessed to see an uptick in my coaching business over these last few months, and it's because leaders need help. So if you're one of those leaders that has found yourself, kind of in a rut, the working from home is difficult, your priorities have been changed and even questioning your purpose and kind of what are you going after. You are not alone. I put together a webinar called the power of priorities and purpose. You can find it at my website, Corey M carlson.com. And there, there will be a tab on the left. Is this for you? Click on that, watch the webinar. It's about 20 minutes long. You'll learn the five capitals framework, which will help you with prioritization. You'll also learn a process to put together and think through a vision for your life. And so I wanted you to check that out as a kind of a blessing and a go forward to see if it helps get you moving. And if you want further information, then we can talk about a coaching program, but you will find absolute value in this webinar. So I encourage you to go check it out. Thank you very much and onto today's episode.
Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.
(01:33): Hello, today's episode is a great one with Mike. He'll learn about more in a minute. When we talk about provision and the mental roller coaster up and down of what it's like being a business owner and providing for your family. And I enjoy this discussion because it's something that I wrestle with a lot as well. We talked about disciplines and the importance of those disciplines in our life to help drive us towards success. We also talk about the importance of life planning for your business, also by planning for your family and your own personal life. It's a great episode. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did so on to today's episode.
(02:09): Hello, this is Corey Carlson. You're listening to the wind at home first podcast. I'm excited to bring you today's guest Mike Sudek. He is CEO of ECC group, as well as he has his own podcast, but he's also not only winning at business, but also at home. He's married has four kids, fifth one on the way. And so just a lot going on in life, but yet he is executing at all different levels. So Mike, thank you. Hey, Corey has pleasure to be on man. I love what you're doing. I love your mission. I love your podcast and you've had some pretty cool guests on, so I I'm honored to be on. Well, thanks. That means a lot coming from a guy who has his own podcast and so that you're listening. And so I appreciate that. And so, Mike, what are you finding to be that key trait that leaders need to have in order to win at home and at work, if only it was that
(03:00): Easy that you could have one trait, you know, it's interesting. I was thinking about this in preparation for our podcast, and I love the title of your show or in your book when at home first. And I think that's so important because it lays the foundation. You know, it's like putting on your, your oxygen mask on a plane and it sounds cliche, but it's amazing how many leaders that I come across that I feel like don't have a good home life. And you think about that and you think, Oh, that's interesting. And you know, maybe that's what's required, but I don't. I disagree with that, that that's what's required. But I think the thing that I would say is, you know, focusing on having your foundation solid, which is your home life is your faith. And that you can only go for so long with that foundation is not there. And I mean, you can put it on the superhero Cape and you can go for, you can sprint for a little while, but if your foundation isn't there, you're not gonna be able to sprint very long.
(04:05): That's right. That's right. So what are you doing to shore up that foundation at home? You said two things home and phase. So hitting the faith piece, what are you doing to shore up your foundation from a faith person?
(04:18): Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that is, you know, for people of faith, you know, and myself and you as well. Corey, I know is I think that is the foundation. I think after that comes marriage, then kids and family, and then then work. Right. Which is easy to get those out of, out of sync. But a couple of years ago, I think it was longer than a couple of years ago. Now I actually started meeting with a guy who's a spiritual mentor of mine. He's about my dad's age, but it's interesting because I never thought about him until, until actually today when I was thinking about this call and is he's actually like a coach, like you would have a business coach, but he's like my spiritual coach, you know, I think Christians we've used the word, like he's discipling me.
(05:00): But if you're, if we're talking to business leaders, which I know we are on this podcast, it's, he's really a spiritual coach for me. And he's really my faith coach. And so we meet actually once a week, we have a standing meeting and we don't meet every week. You know, it's kind of, Hey, if I can't meet this week, we don't try to reschedule. And we meet where he's here in grand Rapids, Michigan. So we meet in person. Sometimes we meet via zoom, but that to me has been a huge reason for kind of where I'm at today, because it's easy to not think about your faith in that way. Like you do your business. Right. And it's been a great, he's been a great mentor for me. And really that weekly meeting helps us set, reset the perspective. You know, I'll usually come into that meeting and it's easy for us to get talking about work cause he's an, he was an entrepreneur.
(05:50): So he's like, how's your week going? You know, just set the frame for the meeting and I'll be like whining about something, you know, that's going on in the, or trying to hire some water or something. And, and then to go from there to reset the perspective on like, okay, just how's, how's your walk with the Lord going? And what's going on with that as your marriage. And I always come out of that meeting, like not necessarily all my problems are solved, but my perspective is reset. And his famous line, this guy studied what it says. He says perspective is everything, you know? Right. And he said that for years. And it's like, it's so, so true. It's cliche, but it's so true.
(06:25): Yeah, absolutely. I know my spiritual journey significantly grew when I hired my executive coach that, you know, Brandon Schaefer, who I still work with to this day and because he would weave in scripture along the way. So even though he's my business coach and you know, kind of life coach, it was that spiritual coach as well. And when I got to see the Bible come alive in a business perspective, that's when it became more, I don't know more part of my life if you will, because I just like we would talk about, I need to delegate more at work. And so he pulled out the story of Jethro telling Moses, you need to delegate. He talked about me having to do this whole development for my team. He talked about how Jesus would literally walk the disciples almost through this you know, equipping square of, Hey, watch me do this.
(07:15): Now you go do it great. Now report back out wet. And then at the, you know, the very ends the great commission, whereas like not now go do it. And so I just got to see all these different things come in from leadership through the Bible and it just became so much more of my life. And then fast forward to like right now where I'm at. And that's now what I'm doing with clients that are faith based office. I've got, I don't know what the percentage breakdown do, but there's some clients I don't talk fate with either they aren't believers or the company has kind of suggested don't do fate. But with those that are faith based, it is weaving in that scripture. It's the things that God's talking to me about that I'm learning from in my quiet time. And so yeah, weaving that in has been a huge help. So that's pretty cool to hear you say that as well, Mike.
(08:03): Yeah. It's, it's awesome. I think I've been, I recently formed a habit of reading a chapter of Proverbs each day for a month, you know, it's easy to do and there's a lot of, you know, books out there that talk about that, but it's it's interesting. Cause it's like, if you were to follow all these like online gurus, it's like, it's all this stuff they talk about, right? Like discipline, not chasing like fast money, you know, like stay true to your wife. Like it's like all these core things. Like the, all the knowledge is right here. It's like, this is what, this is what God's telling us to do, you know? But again, it's the reminders to perspective. It's important to constantly be surrounded by those things. And that habit has been pretty, pretty awesome too, to just form. And that, that was like, I do it first thing in the morning. So then all through the day, you're kind of like thinking about, Oh, that I read that today. And that's interesting how the, where you see a pop-up, you know, in, in either conversations or in the business somewhere,
(09:00): Right. What do you hear from God right now? Really big on discipline. And it's interesting because you know, just the power of discipline and not chasing after too many things like shiny object syndrome is the, is the buzz word, right? Which every entrepreneur is, is guilty of, but we just started instituting EOS in our business, which is entrepreneurs operating system. I don't know how familiar with that, but I am. Yeah. And it was just with COVID actually that we, we started using, I started implementing it in the business and that's all about discipline. You know, it's all about discipline and accountability. And it's interesting because right around that same time I started this habit of reading Proverbs. And so I'm getting hit with discipline and, and accountability and all that and stuff, you know, from all angles. But I think mixed with that is what he's telling me is, is that I'll provide and actually got, if we're going to go deep here, Corey, I got a, actually it was like a few years ago.
(09:58): I was just kind of frustrated with, with the business. I felt like we should be bigger and growing. And I really felt, God, God, just saying, listen, I provide, I'll provide manna from heaven. And, and it was interesting when you think about, you know, that story in the Bible, how they tried to like store it up. Right. And they was like, no, I'm going to provide every day and you can't store it up. It's going to rot. And I'm not, not to say that we shouldn't save and you know, not to oversimplify that whole notion, but I think it was more of a heart thing. Like it was kind of like, God's kind of like, listen, I'm going to, you better have your faith in me, not your faith in Mike Sudek to go out there and build this business. And then reading Proverbs now, it's it talks about, you know, the many are the plans in the heart of man, but you know, God knows the way or I'm in, I'm probably butchering that, but there's a central theme of, you know, ma man's going to scheme for all these things and make all these grandiose plans.
(10:52): But at the end of the day, God's going to ordain the steps and, and is going to orchestrate it. And it's kind of like, Oh yeah, I got to learn that lesson for the nth time, you know? Yeah. Me too. How does that apply that man, storing up? What was going through your mind at that time that kind of hit you between the eyes when you heard that story? I mean, obviously, like you said, you weren't storing it up on the side. So what was the mindset of the posture that you had as a business owner that kind of, you had to shake that perspective?
(11:25): That's a great question. I think I think it was, it was really because I, I didn't have a proper, you know, it was like I wanted, I wanted the success because I kind of wanted to posture myself as I did this great thing, you know, and a little bit that is entrenched in the fact that I took over a family business that my dad started in 99. So I've been with the company about eight years now. And then I took the over two and a half, two and a half, three years ago. And so I think it was around that time when I took the, took the business over that, that, you know, I got that word. And I think at that time I was like, I want it to put my stamp on the business. You know, I wanted to grow it and it to be all, Oh, you see this inflection point, you know, when, when you think,
(12:14): Wow, I'll Pat myself on the back, it was a response to that. Korea was like, God's kind of like, listen, I got this company this far, you know? Yeah. Your dad was great. I'm not, I'm not trying to disparage my dad at all, but as he's kind of like, listen, like this has been successful because I've been in it and I'm going to continue to be in it, but you need to, you need to recognize, you know, what kind of legacy you're joining here. And then what, you're a part of. I keep coming back to that because it always resets my perspective, the whole Manoj notion, right. When you get, when you, when you kind of get nervous about, you know, when COVID hit, it's like we lost some, we lost some business, a lot of the, a lot of, some of the projects and things that we were going to do, you know, at, in what was that end of Q1 started Q2.
(13:01): They're like, Oh, let's talk in Q4. Let's talk in Q1 of 21. It's kind of like, okay. Yeah. You're like, yeah, exactly. And fortunately, like, we, we remain profitable and way better than a lot of firms, you know, but that was kind of a check of like, okay, what perspective am I going to have here? And for us, that was a strong, you know, let's double down on the EOS thing. Let's, let's use this as a time to, to right. The ship from a process perspective because we had less kind of activity going on. Awesome. And it's proved out, proved out, well, you know, yeah,
(13:35): Definitely a season of execution. And we will talk a lot with our clients by that season delivery like executing. And then there's a season of development and more down the internal, the processes. So that's really needed that, you know, back to the, everything we're talking about, the, the manna and the provision, that that's a piece that I too have been wrestling with a lot in 2020, it's just been a wild year. And from the hit I took in Q2 with losing public speaking because I was all shut down. And so the impact that I had, but then to close out and have 2020 be the best year ever, it it's been a whirlwind from a mindset standpoint because of that. My guy, I have a, I haven't publicly said this, but I'm working on a mindset devotion because my quiet time has gone up this year and I've gone to a lot of different verses to help me to think through.
(14:25): And even one today, even this morning was an Exodus where God is talking to Moses about going out and after he does the 10 commandments, and then he does more of the kind of law of the covenant. He then says little by little that I will drive them out. Yeah. And, you know, so go conquer the land that, you know, going around that whole Mediterranean, but little by little that phrase jumped out at me and I've read that before. Yeah. And I think a thing of it, you know, and then I read it today and I was like little by little, that's my problem, because I want big by big or enormous by enormous. But just to know that part of my business growing just like yours and the situation you're talking about is this, you know, it's kinda day by day, little by little, because it was a huge growth at once. Could break us break processes that are set up, but also would break our character because then we would be too prideful or we wouldn't be grateful or we start to cut corners. And so that little by little, there's been a lot of these phrases throughout this past year that have kind of helped me in this one is I can tell, going to be one of those is going to be that good reminder to help me as I built the business out. Yeah,
(15:44): Absolutely. It's easy to get caught up in the few, even being too future-focused that you're not, you know, implementing on the day-to-day basis and to bring it back to, to winning at home. I think that is when when I'm too wrapped up in, like, I want to do these big things and all this stuff. It's like, my mind is in that all the time and it's not at home, you know, it's not when I'm with my wife is not when I'm with my kids. And, and I think most people that are most dads, especially, I think that the being mentally present is the biggest struggle. Right? I mean, you run a business, like even in the good times, you're thinking about a bunch of stuff, much less a pandemic where I figure out what you're going to do to like regroup revenue. It's like, if they're legitimate concerns, I mean, it's like, this is not light stuff.
(16:32): It's not like I'm being frivolous. And I'm thinking about stupid stuff and not the not being mentally present and like is like, these are real stressors. And that is, that is just a, that's a discipline thing also to loop in the display. It's like, it's a discipline thing to, to just kind of reject those thoughts to some degree too, you know? I mean, whether it's stress or fear or just be thinking about things like, no, that's not what I need to be doing. I need to be like mentally engaged here. Yeah. As simple as like putting your phone away, but it's like, it's, it's a battle of the mind. And that's, I think you do in that mindset thing is actually really cool. That sounds like a really interesting project because I feel like I follow some people online that talk a lot about mindset and rightfully so, because it's a really valuable habit and thing to be mindful of and the, you know, building that skill of a proper mindset, but not necessarily from the Christian perspective. And it's a fine line, right? It's like, if you, if you follow these mindset gurus and they're like, you gotta meditate and you gotta, you gotta harness your energy. I mean, I think you and I agree that can be a slippery slope. Like if you're going to be doing that, doing that grounded scripture
(17:41): That's right. No, absolutely. Thank you very much for listening to today's episode. I hope you're joining it so far before we go back to the rest of this episode. I want to share with you my book when at home first, some of you have read it. So thank you very much for others of you. You have not. And I encourage, if you're looking for a resource to help you with these times of your work is now in your home and your home is now in your work. And what this looks like. This book is being helpful to many leaders like you whores magazine said it was one of seven books. Everyone on your team should read in the book is broken up into four different sections to help you versus about you. Understand who you are. The second is marriage in ideas and tips to help with your marriage. Third is parenting and the last is work. So these four different sections to help you recalibrate during this time and to help move forward. So if you are needing additional resource, I encourage you to check out my book went home first. It is available on Amazon as well as audible and so on to the rest of the episode. Thank you very much.
(18:52): So you talk about the disciplines. I love that word that you brought on the beginning and he talk about disciplines at home. Mike, what does disciplines at home look like for you? Because you mentioned to us, I assume it does a little bit. I know of you, but I've enjoyed the different conversations we've had. You're the visionary, your wheels are always journey. What's next? Well, what's next. So how are you at home putting up those boundaries? So it's like, Hey, I'm going to be intentional with my wife. Now I'm going to be intentional with all four of my kids or one of these four kids. How are you doing that?
(19:28): I'll start out by telling you that I'm not, that we're not that great at re-energizing date night, my wife and I, we, we go in, in fits and spurts with that. But we have four soon to be five kids that are all going to be under 10 years old. So that's, it's a little bit of a busy time. I don't mean to say that as an excuse. But other than that, I would say that if I had to say one thing, you said boundaries and we, we intentionally limit the things that we are tied into from a scheduling standpoint. Obviously COVID helped with that, but we just don't fill up our schedule. And it's interesting that going in. Yeah.
(20:04): Yeah. It's like, we, we just don't commit to a lot of things and I don't know. I feel like people over commit even to good things and, and then you miss out, like, you're not, you always have to be going. And I think for an, for an entrepreneur for a visionary, like myself, I would skew more that way I would attribute it to my wife, that she sets the tone in terms of like saying no to some things. Cause I'm classically want to say yes, but it's, it's just, I mean, we've had these discussions like her and I it's like, we want to consciously prioritize our family time. And sometimes that means not really doing anything, you know, we're just going to be playing with the hot wheels cars with my two year old and he loves it. You know, it's like spend like 20 engaged, 20, 30 engaged minutes within it's like, that's so fulfilling. Like,
(20:53): So the mind reset, it sounds like silly, but I would say that that has been a huge and, and you see it when you talk to people and they're like, Oh, I gotta run to this. I gotta run to this. I gotta, we got all this stuff scheduled then. And I'm sure as our kids get older, it's gonna, they might, they're going to get involved in more things and that sort of thing. But that's been a huge part of our success. I would say in the rhythms, when you talk about the rhythms duct into rhythms that are not healthy for your family, you know, what your obligations and that sort of thing.
(21:25): So I love what you said, playing you know, the cars and, but intentional. And so that means your phones away. I mean, 20 minutes of no phone in the hand with a kid is so much more valuable than two hours of phone in hand and yeah, yeah, yes. Good. But yeah, whatever. And then moving the cars around on the floor. Yep. I get it. So it's, it's about being present where your presence is completely dialed in at school. What do your rhythms look like from a day standpoint? Like kind of waking up and are you getting after it from a journaling and scriptures standpoint?
(22:04): Yeah, that's a, that's a good question. Scripture. First thing for me and scripture and prayer is, is what I strive to do. That's just like, that's my like biggest, like non-negotiable thing that I try to try to stay on. So it's like, I actually read a lot of scripture on my phone, which is, I've got a habit of which is not always healthy, right. Because I have the Bible app and I'm some highlighting and when all this stuff on. So I always like, if I'm picking up my phone, it's like, I'm looking at scripture first thing. And so that's one of the biggest rhythms I'm kind of hit or miss with journaling. And I'd like, it's one of the things I, I wish I was better at or just did more regularly. But what I've found is I'm very much a verbal processor when I have something on my mind.
(22:47): And that's also been a discipline I've been trying to build with my wife is sharing with her. It's kind of a form of journaling because you're trying to get the thoughts out of your head in a way that's constructive. And not me just dumping things onto her. And I think that's a skill that you kind of have to, it's like, I don't want to just sit there and be like, here's all the crap I'm dealing with at work. Let me tell you about it. I don't think that's wise, but if the opposite of that, if I don't, if I'm very not communicative to her about what I'm going through, then it ultimately blows up later. Right. And, and it blows up in the, in, in the way of, we get in a fight. That's not about that thing. And it's, Oh, it's cause I'm stressed about something that I haven't told her about. She's stressed about something at home that she's not telling me about. And it's like, and all of a sudden we're mad at each other and it's like, we know it's not because of this thing, but we're not sure what it is. It's like, not that you have any experience with that, right. Corey or your clients. So that's that, that's a, that's a real thing I've been trying to work on. And you know, we've been married 10 years, a little over 10 years and it's like still learning how to do that, you know?
(23:52): Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I know for my wife and I we've had been married 21 years, but there just continues to be these other breakthroughs that take place and, you know, break through. I've talked about here. You know, it feels like a lot lately, maybe just more of the clients is as I just use the Enneagram more with individuals, but that was a breakthrough. And it all comes down to communication with the way I would communicate to her was not necessarily, and I'm not talking about love languages, I'm talking about even other stuff too. And the way I communicate would be different than how she want to be communicated with. And then her communicating back to me and the way she'd ask all these different questions. And sometimes I'm just about results and not relationship she's about, you know, kind of protection and being loyal, but trying to figure the different pieces out. And now that I understand that we've had breakthrough because I understand, you know, how she's perceiving the situation. And then now she also has more grace for me because she sees how I kind of view the situation. But it all comes down to that. Communication has been so helpful.
(25:01): Did you, did that come as a result of like, how did that come about that kind of breakthrough? I'm curious about like that, the trend of like, okay, you did it, was it manifesting itself in multiple areas of your life? And then you're like, boom, like I saw this in my marriage or how did that come about curious?
(25:18): Yeah. I, I learned of the, any of the Instagram specifically, since that's, we're talking about that, the Instagram specifically, I learned more about that on myself. I'm like, Oh my gosh, look at these blind spots I had, you know, and I've done disc I'm dissatisfied, I've done Myers Briggs. I mean, I'm familiar with them was there's something about the underground that talk to me in a bright, because it's simpler, meaning Myers-Briggs or whatever it is, 32 different combinations and Instagram, I'm not, maybe I'm not smart enough to know all 32, but I can handle nine anyways, in that I saw those shadow sides I had and saw some unique wiring. And then I was like, Oh, so I had Holly take it. And so Holly took it and same thing. It worked both ways. So it just helped us through there. One other phrase that was very helpful for us, a mentor told me is, don't hear what I'm not saying.
(26:17): And there was a lot of times in our own life where, you know, I may say something, but Holly, he hears something else just because maybe, maybe he's my body language, but maybe it's, it demands a guilt or an insecurity she's got and then things would blow up. I remember one, one time, I, I always go back to this one story where I got up early, I was at the dining room table. I was writing and Holly wakes up and it had snowed and she came down said, hi. And you know, and did you show that was it, it was innocent. It was just, did you shovel? And I had before it, before she said that I had all this guilt of like, I probably should have shoveled. And she's asking because now she thinks I've been worthless and just sitting here playing on my computer and she's going to have to go shovel because I didn't do it like, and all this crap going through my head all because I heard what she did not say. Like she did not say, Hey, lazy to turn on the computer. She did not say you're always worth was I always have to go shovel. She didn't say that. But I heard a lot of those things, all she said is, did you show, so I think a big winter home, first part of this is this guard stations. Don't hear what I'm not saying. Right.
(27:40): I love that story. I can totally relate to more times I'd like to count. Yeah, absolutely. So what are you most excited about here in the, in the next few months, Mike, We're having a baby in February, so I'm pretty excited about that and number five. So that's gonna be a whole new whole new level. I'm excited about that. I, you know, we actually had some we've been doing this week annual planning for, in the business and feeling really optimistic about going in, you know, because we didn't have it. We didn't have a full year behind us with EOS. So we're kind of entering our first full year with a EOS perspective and
(28:17): Three big rocks you're going after. Yeah, It's great. I mean, it's, it just feels refreshing because we'd done annual planning in the past, but then out year after year, you kind of like don't achieve things and you don't address certain issues. So you'd go into it with a sense of a sense of cynicism. And so one of the big things with us is like issue resolution. So identify, discuss, and solve, you know, there's a whole process they do. And I feel like we're addressing things. We're addressing elephants in the room, we're going into it with kind of eyes wide open. And so I'm feeling optimistic about that. And so my wife and I have been talking, you know, about EOS as we've gone through that journey in the business and how we can kind of Institute that at home to some degree. And so we've been kind of sorting that out and, and discussing that we haven't, we haven't had designated time to do that, but I think we will.
(29:07): I'm going to be taking some time off here. So we'll spend that kind of planning 20, 21. And what does it mean for our family and doing some of that like 10 year visioning? You know, it's one of the things that my dad actually told me when I to B's a marriage advice that my dad gave me where one, you marry the family. And I didn't fully appreciate that until I've been married a couple of years, but I tell all, you know, people that are in process of getting married or hope to get married one day that a piece of advice, the second is he advised us to when we got married to draw out like a life plan and the life plan doesn't have, it's not, it's never going to go the exact same to this life plan that you, you know, the meaning of your marriage, but it sets the proper perspective and gives you a longer term perspective to think about, okay, when would we want to have kids?
(29:58): You know, what, what are we thinking about for jobs? Where do we want to live? What are trips you'd want to take? And when would you do that? And you, you start, you identify kind of the seasons of life. And my wife and I kind of did that just the other day. And we're thinking, you know, in another 10 years of marriage, you think about 10 years is what EOS does. They talk about tenure, you know, goals and vision. It's like, our youngest will be 10 and our oldest will be 19. You know, we're like, wow. You know, like, so you just kind of map that out with their ages and where it would be doing. And it really set the tone for the next 10 years of what things would want to do with them. Maybe what trips we want to take and, and that sort of thing. And yeah, I'm, I'm just excited about that. I'm excited to dig more with her into that and kind of setting that 10 year vision for our family.
(30:49): Yeah. I love that. A few things you mentioned, I hear your excitement. I really, really do, and I can get excited about it, but I know there's some listeners saying, well, my wife's probably not gonna be very excited about the whiteboard while you're saying I'm excited about it. And that's how it is in my house. It does take a little convincing of, Hey, let's do this. And it, Mike, in your house, are you both excited and fighting over the marker for the whiteboard and laying it all out? Or is it a little bit of a, you know, you you're, you're pushing the lead. And then she says, all right, let's go.
(31:24): My wife is probably more on the side of the whiteboard lover than most, I would say she's very process-oriented and she's, she's very much an integrator my visionary to talk to him in EOS terms. But I would say it kind of goes back to what you were saying of like the Instagram, like knowing how to communicate, you know, it's like, I am classically bad at being a visionary and just being like, we're going to do this. We're going to, I do a lot of home renovation projects, you know? And so I'll be, I'll just jump into them without talking to my wife. And that always gets me into trouble because I have this vision for how it's going to work. And it's like, if I just slowed down for a second and identified, what is it about this project she's going to like, and what's a plan that goes way better.
(32:08): It was like, Mike it's like, I mean, when you talk about that, you know, if your wife isn't doesn't gravitate towards that or whatever, it's just partly like slowing down and being like, okay, I'm real excited about this. Okay. How do I craft this message in a way that I can communicate what my heart is to her? And then we can have a discussion about it, because if you don't, then she shuts you down right away, you know? Cause he's gonna, you're saying it in a way that's kind of gonna turn her off. You know, it's not like you gotta like say we're going to change it, a plan to what you have. I'm not advocating that. But I'm just saying like, you just got to prevent the shutdown.
(32:43): Absolutely. And they just, they also just want to know that we value their opinion, like come along for the ride. I mean, I remember even I do such a, you know, I tried to this well now, but my wife will always let me go do something if I want. I'm always, I tell my kids not to use the word always, but most of the time she always will say yes, like if I need to go to a happy hour networking or any of those things, she's the answer's always going to be. Yes. Yeah. But what I've learned is if I ask her to go or like invite her into the, the decision, it's such a different delivery of we're in this together. Like, Hey hon networking opportunities coming up on Thursday night, is it okay if I go and I know it's a little heavier lifting for you and the kids and get them to, and from practice that, all right, it's so much different than I have a networking event on Thursday. Good luck with everything.
(33:38): Exactly. I found that to be so helpful in that communication piece of, I got to do a project, like you said, a house project, or maybe I got to work on a work project as you can do at different times too. It's like, if I just give the heads up and Hey, I want to do this Saturday morning, does that work? Or should I do Saturday afternoon? Something like that. It just, man, it's such a big difference so that they know that they've got to buy in. Right. We talked about that at work, in order to get buy-in. We got to make sure they got a voice in. And so at home, I need to make sure my family's got a voice in order to get their buy in as well. Yeah, absolutely. I also liked your EOS whole discussion about work and then taking that into home.
(34:20): Part of what I talk about it went on first is, and I'm not the first person to ever say this, but you know, this, this idea, we do all this planning and everything for work. And then we just wing it at home. Like, you know, there's there's vision and values and three and five-year ten-year plans, but at home it's just like, Oh, well, let's figure it out. And so in the book I talk about, for anyone listening, who's not read the book is I believe a vision and values are important for a family. So listed out a, a framework to create a personal and family vision as well as values for the, for the family. So it's called the five B's. And so it's a neat process to go through. But for us, that was a big thing. And as I was joking with you, Mike earlier about, is your wife excited about doing it? When I rolled out the vision values, it was, you know, I've learned it's a drip and not a fire hose in my house. I used to come and say, we're doing this and now it's like just a little bit at a time, but we get there and it's awesome.
(35:20): Oh, absolutely. Yeah. That we crafted like vision core values. And I was like, I was like thinking about it and we're doing this, all the stuff with dos and I'm like, can I talk to my wife about this? And I'm like, okay, just back up the truck a little bit, let's figure this out. Let's have a couple of conversations. Let's, let's not be like, I got it all crafted. Boom, because that's not what it's about either. You know, even in a business setting, it's about like it's discussions. It's, it's like, Hey, what, how are we already operating? What are the things that we're already kind of doing that we identify and could do better? You know, it's not, it's not this fire hose, you know, and that's, that's really important. That's cool.
(35:57): Before we wrap up, I, I want you to give a plug for your own podcast and why you did it and does it the resource for, for fathers to go to, so can you share about your podcast and what what's behind?
(36:10): Yeah, so so the FA I'll, I'll start by saying, you know, I took over the family, but I joined the family business eight, nine years ago and then took it over about three years ago and that it's a word, we do software development. And so I was already in the tech space and I didn't see any, anyone, any leaders talking about, and this is right around. We had really young kids. So I was like, Hey, I want to be a good dad. And I want to run this business really well. How do I balance this? And I saw a bunch of guys, especially in tech talking about how to scale businesses, how to scale a startup. But no, one's talking about doing that in context of being a dad, we talking to a buddy of mine about this, and he's like, just find some dads that are in tech and just interview them on a podcast.
(36:57): And I was like, okay. And I just did that. I was like five years ago. And so I would just get these guys on and say, how do you do this? And what do you do? And tell me about your stories. What are your tips? What are your tricks? And it's been awesome. I met some really cool people and they're really like, it's been almost just a selfish thing that I did. This was because I just wanted to know I wanted to have these relationships with these guys and it's been awesome. So if you go to 2 cent dad, the number 2 cent dad.com, you can find out, you can find it there, we're on Apple podcast and everything. And yeah, it's been a cool journey, you know, it's, it's cool to connect with people to hear their insights and all that. So,
(37:35): Yep. I agree. And I think it's cool. You did it. And you've been doing it for awhile and launching a podcast. One of those things, I think many listeners can hear, they can't relate exactly to, but it's something that I thought about for a while and I just didn't necessarily have the guts to do it. And I wish I would've done sooner. Yeah, absolutely. And it's probably for any listener, whatever you're thinking, I need to do this, then go and do it, whatever that is, because you're going to get six months in or a year in and be like, man, I wish I would have done this sooner. And the podcast for me, just like you mentioned, I love it. I wish I would've done it sooner. So overcome that fear and push through to whoever it needs that nudge today. Yeah, my guy, this has been awesome. How can listeners get ahold of you just to learn more about you? What you're doing EPC group, obviously you told us about the podcast.
(38:24): Yeah. Wait, you can check me out at Tucson, dad.com or at Sudek a S U D Y K is pretty much what I'm at on like Twitter or anything like that with him on LinkedIn. Happy to reach out, you know, thank you so much, Corey, for having me on your podcast. I love what you're doing, man. I love your show. I love I'm looking forward to reading the book. I read the book yet, but just the mission I think in the message needs to be broadcast by more and more people. I think it's a very important message.
(38:50): Yep. Hey, as we said it very beginning, little by little that's where I'm going to get it. Right. Very cool. Thank you so much. Thanks. I want to thank you for listening to my podcasts. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website @ corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.
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