Hello, this is Corey. Thank you for listening to the podcast today. Before we get started, If you are a leader who finds yourself, you're stuck. You're listening to a variety of podcasts, including this one. You're reading different books, but yet it's just not connecting. It is not actually allowing for growth for breakthrough and you still find yourself stuck. You are not alone. This year has been a tough year for many, many leaders, but yet my coaching program is helping those have breakthrough to actually take the information and help with implementation. And sometimes all of us, I know I've had coaches numerous times in my life where we just need a guide for a season. So if that is you, I encourage you to go to my website CoreyMCarlson.com and learn more about the coaching program. And hopefully it is helpful for you this season, whether it's a, a couple of months, whether it's a year, but something just to get that momentum going. So on to today's episode. Thank you.
Welcome to the win at home first podcast. I'm your host, Corey Carlson. This podcast is where we talk about how successful business leaders win, not only at work, but also at home. On this podcast, we will go behind the scenes with great leaders to hear stories of how they win. Thank you for listening and on to today's episode.
you will enjoy this episode of Mike. We talk about having a growth mindset in all areas of our life. We talk about the importance of quality versus quantity time with our loved ones. We talk about the importance of having a team and how we can increase our impact. If we have a team ness, not on all of us. And we talk about a topic that God does not need you to get his plan done, but instead it's an invitation. So great conversation, lots of insight. I hope you enjoy the episode as much as I did onto today's episode. Thank you today.
(01:59): I'm joined by Mike Sipple Jr. And he is a friend, and he's also just someone to continue to watch. And in the scene, as he's building a great business, he's got his own podcast and he has a lot going on. He is with Centennial, which is an HR company helps with placing executives, but they've also launched talent magnet Institute, which is kind of becoming a power of itself with just being a resource of knowledge for companies. And we'll learn more about that today, but really just excited to have Mike on he's strong in his faith. He is winning at home and involved there as well as a lot of different business applications going on. So fun to have you here today, Mike, thank you so much for having me, Corey, thank you for all that you do to encourage and inspire us out here to strive to win at home first. It's not easy, but we need accountability for it. And thank you for being that. Oh, great. Well thank you. What is that key trait that leaders need to win both at home and at work. So
(03:01): Growth mindset where it's not about our ego, but how we can continue to learn, change and grow. So growth mindset doesn't mean that we've all arrived, right? It means we're constantly learning and every day and every experience gives us a learning experience to make tomorrow a new right. And so many of us, you know, I'll speak for myself can be extra hard on ourselves, right? When we fail, when we stub our toe, when we make a mistake and a growth mindset means to take in all of those learnings and how can that help me change and grow as a human, as a father, as a husband, as a friend and as an employer and team member
(03:50): I love that growth mindset. And how are you applying that in your own life, where you're continuing to have that posture because it, each day we can wake up film, maybe a setback of all, man, I'm almost like I'm not good enough or it's a scarcity mindset or status quo, whatever it could be. How do you keep recalibrating to go towards that growth mindset?
(04:12): Yeah. Well, and that's what it is, right? So the growth mindset is taking all of that typical behavior that we have against ourselves. Right. And saying, you know what, I'm going to, I'm going to make a mistake today. Right. And I'm going to fail fast and I'm going to learn from it. And I'm also going to be willing to accept that it's a learning. Right. And instead of saying, you know, ego, I'm always right. You know, we're not always right. And we're not going to be always right. And you need to stop acting like world. You know, you, that, there's an expectation that you always have to be. Right. And look at me and look at my suit of ego. Right. I think it's more about being humble and knowing that we're all in this journey of learning and growing together and what we've been telling leaders, Corey, is that even if you make the mistake, just own it, be vulnerable.
(05:07): Say I learned from it. I experienced it. What I said last week, doesn't quite measure up and I didn't realize how it made you feel. Right. What I said yesterday, I apologize for that. I, I really did not intend that to come across that way, just own what we're doing so that we can continue to learn, change and grow. And that's one of the things that I have focused a lot on in my talks and in my personal life that this life is not about 50, 50, it's not Corey, what 50% can you bring to the middle? Mike? What 50% can you bring to the middle? It's a hundred hundreds, right? If we started bringing our 100% each and every day, and didn't just bring 50% in our personal relationships, didn't just give 50% to our, but gave a hundred percent and make it not about you, but about them. How can I serve you? How can I be here? How can I show up? And you can do that same thing with leadership, right? How do I bring my 100% and then fine tune and Polish and grow. And that's the part, you know, shaking the diamond and shining the dime. Right? So we talk a lot about that and the impact it has on relationships when you do it.
(06:23): Yeah. So true. Yeah. I like that idea of 50, 50 versus a hundred hundred, where you talk to older couples who have been married for 40 plus years and they say, you know, w what made it work was a 50 50. It's like, no, we both gave a hundred percent all the time. How can we serve the other person? So it's so good, Mike, I am just loving this whole mindset myself, as I'm trying to learn and grow and get better on it for you as a leader. Are there tools or practices that you're using to help your mindset kind of throughout the day when you do wake up feeling defeated when you maybe did make that mistake? And you're trying to think, how do I own it? What are some of those practices that you're putting into place to just continue to recalibrate and make sure you're going in that right direction, that growth mindset. Yeah. That's a great question. So
(07:12): One of them is I try to journal and I try to be really honest with myself, you know? So I, I think self-awareness is critically important. I think us being IX, you know, like not trying to tell stories to ourselves, of being real with ourselves is very important. So our emotions, our experiences, our fears, you know, in the days that I'm extra emotional, I'm trying to listen to that and go, what is that what's causing this? Is it rest? Is it gratitude, right? Is it concern? Is it something I have to work through to overcome my own fear? Is there's something going on that might be holding me back. So I think journaling is a great resource for that. The other hack that I use is a YouTube playlist. I created called Jesus reigns. And I wear this playlist. Now, you know, my kids have many of my songs memorized because I scroll to my, we use YouTube TV. I scored on my YouTube TV account and sit out on the back patio and listen to my these music videos. And, and I listened to it on the phone and the car. So it's basically my go-to playlist, right. Some uplifting songs and some very, like I'm trying to do too much of myself. Right. And it's not about myself. It's about our Lord and savior and what he's doing through us. Right. So stop trying to take control simple. I hear that very often from him and the law loud audible voice.
(08:47): I love that playlist idea. Almost like the kids hear like, Oh, dad's overwhelmed the day he's got the playlist going. It may just be that. I mean,
(08:56): It's like it may not just be overwhelmed. It's like, I try to listen to, it's my way of re I love music. I love song. I love praise. And I like praise and worship music. And, and I it's kind of where I go to zone out, you know, and to get my mind right. Or to express that thankfulness. So, yeah. So, but our kids do here quite a bit and they even ask, Hey, can you turn that one song on? Yeah, exactly. You know, so the other thing is having a very open, like I don't try to hide. I think this goes into the ego component for me. I see so many people, not being honest with their friends and not being honest with their close relationships. And I probably at times, and maybe too openly honest about what's going on. Right. But I use that a little bit as my, like, that's how the gospel that I want to live.
(09:56): It's, you know, I, I want to share what's actually going on in my mind so that I'm not fighting it myself, that I can get some individuals that wouldn't think that way or boy keep going. Right. That's exactly what we need to be working on. And so those are just some of the, you know, have open communications with those that you're closest to, I would recommend have a playlist that you can turn to of your favorite songs that allow you to kind of get upbeat or just, you know, I've got a little mixture of both of that, and then journaling as much as possible, putting those emotions down, sharing your thoughts and perspectives and remembering that there's always things we can be thankful for. No matter how hard life gets, no matter how hard life gets. And I think journaling allows you to do that allows you to express Thanksgiving, allows you to express gratitude of, yes, there are many things to be thankful for despite very difficult and challenged and challenging circumstances we can all face.
(11:00): That's great. And it's so true by journaling. I know when I journal, I can start fired up kind of on a rant or frustrated or God, why this, why that, or why did I lose that client? Or why was that contract canceled? And man, it's amazing how that journaling exercise before, you know, it seems like by the time you've written a couple of pages, all of a sudden you're grateful. It's like it is so wild out at works. I can start off so mad. And then by the time it's done, it's like, well, thank you is I have some clients are thinking, is that a great weekend? Or thank goodness I have a loving family. You know, whatever it could be. It's, it's wild how that happens. And it gives a little bit, I guess, perspective into David with the Psalms, because it will, you know, he is mad and it is kill my enemies and all of a sudden it's thank you for everything.
(11:48): A lot of truth to that.
(11:50): You and your wife are pretty good about
(11:54): Retreats getting away. I know in different conversations, you and I have had, you've done things like that. What does that structure look like for you guys?
(12:03): Yeah. Well, and I'll share, it's not always been that way. So I kinda got a little bit of a punch in the gut when I recognized how much I was spending time, resources and energy around my own professional development. And then I started thinking, you know, what is, what is truly my number one, relationship, Lord, and savior. What's my very close second, like 1.5, my wife, right. And why am I not spending time building that muscle, creating that string? And I was, you mentioned earlier, you know, around just reflection. And so that's what really started my wife and I was at a, I was at a, a leadership retreat for an organization that we were, that my wife and I are involved with called all pro dance. And the whole retreat was kind of a total three 60 or one 80. So you think you're going in to learn how to be the best all pro dad team captain you can be.
(13:06): And the whole experience is about how do you be the best husband and father you can be so that you can show up great for everyone else. Right. And so that was the first experience. So I went there thinking, Oh man, this is going to be awesome. We're going to learn how to be the most effective, highest capacity, all pro dads, you can captains. And it was like, Nope, we're going to learn about how we can be the best husband, the best spouse, the best friend, the best father and wife. So that kinda got me into a zone around putting personal time in for our marriage development, my poor rental development. So, and we've went on a journey. I mean, we've traveled to Queens, New York for a marriage retreat with an author Pete SGAs there who wrote a book, emotionally healthy leadership and emotionally healthy spirituality, great resources there.
(14:00): You know, there's a good friend of mine, Jackie Bledsoe, who wrote a book, seven rings, Jackie and fan of Bledsoe wrote a book, seven rings of marriage. I met them on that. All-Pro dad leadership retreat because they too were team captains and you know, and another great resource and then work at write that book gives you lots of things to reflect on your book, gives you lots of, you know, when at home first gives you a lots of things to reflect on. And Amber and I will spend a little bit of time when we go on a retreat. When we book a bed and breakfast a couple of times a year, this year, Corey, my goal was to do it once a quarter, then a global pandemic hit. And I am deeply disappointed to say, we have not lived that goal through, but no, we'll spend a little bit of time working on how are we doing, right?
(14:48): What can I do better for you? I think my wife's amazing. So it's always hard for her to get, what can she be doing better for me, but but spend the time be intentional, even if it's only a day, my wife and I went away for one day last year and we left on a Friday, we came back on a Saturday night and just that period of time was amazing. Just getting out and just the two of us, right? Just one night, one overnight, it doesn't have to be a multi-day or a week experience.
(15:22): No, I think that's such a good reminder. I mean to myself, but yeah, to the listeners where a lot of times they hear, Oh, retreat, it's all these days away and I've got to get a babysitter for the kids, but it could just be one night, one month. I mean, Holly and I, for our anniversary here in June, we stayed in hotel here in Cincinnati. So downtown Cincinnati, and it's a new hotel in it. There were a couple of times where like, we feel like we're in Europe. I mean, it just, it's a new hotel than just the, the food and the atmosphere, just like, this is incredible. So even though it's just one night, we too were in that situation where it just felt like that big getaway. So that's cool that you guys are doing that.
(16:04): Hello. This is Corey Carlson. Thank you very much for listening to this podcast. I greatly appreciate it. If things that we're saying or you're hearing what the guests are talking about, and you want to see how it can apply to your life, and you want to dive deeper into the content. And I invite you to visit my website at Cory M Carlson to learn more about my coaching program, what I'm doing for clients like you and how it can help you start winning boat at home and at work and living the life to the full. So thank you very much for listening and back to today's episode. Thank you. And so, as a parent, you're pretty good too, about getting those dates with your kids and those one-on-one times. And you're very intentional there as well. Well,
(16:52): I I'm, I'm not going to give myself that much credit yet. So I'm trying, you know, I mean, our kids are, are active, right? We are, we have become the parents that are running around in a youth sports and, you know, activities. What we love is that our kids have grown up not having devices, that events, not that that's a bad thing for everyone, but we wanted to, we knew that we wanted our kids to like really be watching their siblings play sports right. And cheering them on. So that quality time at sporting events is actually become quality time, right. Versus like, Oh, what are we doing again? We're running around. So many people get so busy. And for some reason, the Lord has given us some clay in our schedules that we have very little overlap. So we'll be out of the house a lot.
(17:46): But for some reason their schedules still allow us all to be at the games. It's been amazing that the way that the Lord has kind of orchestrated the schedule, which I'm very thankful for, but you know, the quality time to the practice, the quality time from the practice, the quality, you know, not beating our kids up on how they played or what they could have done different or all of that. But like, how was the day, how did you feel on the court? You know, encouraging our kids during those drive times, you know, my wife reminds me often to try not to take a client call while you're on the way tonight to football practice or baseball practice or basketball practice and use that as our quality time. Like I've actually got my child with me for 20 minutes before we get to the location.
(18:34): So let's just, you know, how are things going? And what's going on and ask some deep questions. I can be on about this, this took place. Are you aware of what that actually means? So using the margin that we are given, right? So many times we think we don't have the margin, which I'm one of those, like, you know, how do you make the margin? The other thing that I'm going to give my wife credit for that'll happen a lot during this conversation, but it's not a matter of quantity time with our children. It's quality time with our children. So me giving 20 minutes of dedicated time to, to play a video game with my kids to go out and toss ball, to shoot some hoops, which is what my kids love. Like quality time is definitely a major part of their love language.
(19:25): And Hey, you know what? I know you've got a lot going on, but if you just gave him 10 minutes, you'll see an attitude change. If you just gave her 15 minutes to work on a Lego project or to see what she's building in Sims and be actually interested or go dribble, you know, do some dribble exercises that she's supposed to work on this week from basketball practice. Just that 10 minutes, that 20 minutes is much more important than feeling like you have to have five hours of time to give to your kids. And sometimes that's how it feels for me, right? Like, Oh, I just can't, how do I peel away for that long? And it doesn't have to be that long. There's always her reminder to me. Right. And that's been very helpful that it's quality, even if 10 minutes of quality is better than two hours of you also being on your phone.
(20:18): Yeah. You said a lot of things, Mike, that I'm right in line with, and I'm glad you brought them up. And just so we can discuss and even kind of remind ourselves of it. And man, it is the, you know, that commute back and forth to events because I mean, at one point I get ends up going away. My 16 year old is now driving to and from dance. And there's those moments you're like, I can't wait until they can drive themselves. Well, now that's happening. Yeah. I mean there's some days I'm grateful for it, for sure. But man, I miss that. That was some good time. And I guess to share with you, cause I know you can relay, but also just share with our listeners. There was a moment when I was doing the commuting that I was not handling it great where I was always trying to coach her.
(21:02): I was always trying to share some devotion or share something I learned in scripture or using those times to like almost like drill into her like any knowledge I had, I want to get it to her and in doing so there were days that she kind of rolled her eyes and be annoyed. And I was like, what is going on? Like this is not working. So I literally prayed about it. And in the prayer, it was this idea of before I pick her up to pray, you know, God, is this going to be a teaching drive home? Or is this a roll down the windows and listen to music and sing and have fun. And I would pray that is I would go pick up my kids and I would actually get a clear sense of what it should be. And what was interesting is if I got the it's a teaching drive home, she was receptive.
(21:52): Like it was crazy. I could actually share some things and she was, Oh really, or an ask questions. And then there'd be other times it's like, let's listen to top 40 music and we'd sing some Taylor Swift. And it worked. I mean, it was cool. So that I used to put so much pressure on myself that I had to make all those quality times. You just mentioned like teaching moments and that's not true either. And there was, I had such clarity and breakthrough on there. So anyways, that's helpful to list or definitely want to bring that up. And I also, this is so cool. You mentioned no technology at your siblings, sporting events. That's how we've been too. Now there are some times that after Kayla has been at dance for four hours, it's like, all right, now, now you can look at your device, but we didn't let them from the beginning. It's like, you got to support them and they're going to support you as well. So I love that you guys do that also.
(22:45): Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't mean between the breaks, right? I mean, we were at a baseball field for six hours this weekend doesn't mean we, you know, when we ran to get some lunch and you come back, you can hang out and, you know, catch up on a few games or whatever. But but I think it's important for us to cheer on our family, you know? And and for it not to be, so now again, this is just, what's worked for us. Right. So it doesn't work for everyone. I understand that. And nor are we judging you if you don't, but you know, it's just important to think about what works well for your family. And don't try to go if you're not doing it now don't try to go like, you know, tomorrow, no devices. Right. You know, kind of weave it in, but remember like we're here to cheer on each other. Right. And, and as we tell our kids, you all, are, we pray that you all will be around much longer for each other than mom and dad will be around. Right. And we need to, to build up that skill of being there for each other. So my
(23:46): Quarantine obviously changed a lot for all of us. What have been some neat things that you have added in your personal life or your family's added because of quarantine and what's that look like in your guys's life?
(24:00): Our team was like, we need to stay focused. Right. We know that at some point we're going to come out of this. So what are we going to focus on? What are we going to create our dedication for as an, as a team and and doing that with our children and family as well. Like what, you know, what do we want to work on? Right. What, what do we want to see different? And you know, there's still going to be a December Lord willing and you know, what do we want to have accomplished by the end of the year? What are we hoping to improve on? What do we want to see more of as a family or less of? And I know we can't, you know, we decided not to go on vacations and I know we can't vacation this year, but what can we do here?
(24:40): That would be fun. Like, what's a, what's a game night. What's a, you know, everybody picked their favorite restaurant. We, we have gotten a little bit in the habit of, at this point, if kids are like, you know, I want subway and I want, you know, Chick-Filet, I'm just like, let's just go get both right door, that door dash one and go pick up the other. So just to add the variety and the flexibility versus you're only getting, you know, what, we, you know, what we're, where we're going. And then, you know, again, being outside is important for our family. Our kids love being outside. So instead of the vacation budget, it's, well, let's go ahead and buy that big spawn net we've been wanting to get. And let's go ahead and go get a few things that we can use and let's get maybe a little bit higher quality. So this one actually lasts and doesn't only last the season, but lasts like a couple of weeks, just being thoughtful about how we're utilizing our resources and the conversations we're having with our children during that time.
(25:40): Mike, I love asking people, you know, part of my story is when God just says, Hey, you need a hand over your story for a greater story. What's that look like in your life, Mike, where you were building something of your own, your own story and you felt a pull to do something different kind of more open-handed and set as a closed fist. What's that been in your life? Mike?
(26:03): Yeah. So I'm going to, I'll lead into this a little bit. So I've spent the last 19 years and they executive search firm that does search work for companies all over the world on succession planning and building high-performing teams about just almost six years ago, I took over that business as president for my family. So I spent 13 years, you know, do I want to be in this for the rest of my career to falling in love with this? And then, you know the decision was made for me to take over the family business during that journey, there is, you know, what am I building? And God kind of hitting me, right? The eyes that says, and, you know, being tired and feeling like exhausted, right? And while entrepreneurs are supposed to be exhausted, this is what we do, you know, and having that kind of mindset got to keep hustling, come on, keep hustling.
(26:56): Right. And and then hearing some, sorry, I was reading a book. I mentioned earlier, Pete Scazzero he wrote a book called emotionally helping leadership. And in that book, there's a section that talks about exhaustion that talks about, you know, the ability to, or the inability to have silence, the discomfort that silence and meditation and Sabbath brings to our lives. Right. And recognizing like that, it's definitely me. And there was a section in that book that talked a little bit about, God doesn't need you to accomplish his plants. Right. He can accomplish his plans without so it's never intended that we have to do everything. It's never intended that we have to achieve every thought that comes into our head. It's never intended that we have to be completely exhausted to give it all right. What we need is to trust him that it's not about everything I bring, but the trusting nature of his ways, not my own ways. So in that court, part of the experience was,
(28:07): You know, what did God really put me on this earth to be the best executive search consultant or, or to build a better team? Right. So, you know, so we started building a team and now we have five people that really run Centennial. We also created this brand called the talent magnet Institute that had been something in my dad's heart for over a decade and started becoming something that I felt like, wow, maybe that is another part of the greater story that it's not that, you know, the legacy is this great search firm. No. What about the other ways we can serve people with our connections and expertise and resources. And what about all these amazing humans that God's put in our path that we've co-facilitated with and partnered with and worked with and referred? What if we built a brand that serve not just the customers, but the VAT team that comes in and is a part of that.
(29:06): So that really led to this, this whole, you know, again, it adds more work, but when you're not trying to do it all yourself and you're leveraging the strengths that God has around you, that maybe you haven't noticed, that was a big part for me. I felt this like, and I don't have to just do one thing. Right. I can figure out my giftings, build a team to align to that. And by building the team, you're building into other people you're growing up. Other people you're strengthening other people. So it's not about you. Right. And, you know, I always say, I mean, I do believe strongly that I have the best team in the world. Our people are so committed and I strive every day to be that committed to them, right. To be an ambassador for them first. Right. And with that, the same thing with those that we serve.
(30:02): And it's just been amazing how connections and calls and resources and things come in, when you kind of say, you know, I could not have done this on my own. Right. And if we try to do everything on our own, we will crash. We will reach exhaustion. We will burn everything out and not be the quality that people expect of us. So that, that was a big, I even, you know, Corey, I resigned from a couple of boards. I was on when that, that audible experience happened, where it's like, I'm trying way too hard. And it's, and it's unhealthy. It doesn't serve my family. It doesn't serve my people. This is not intended to be the me show. This is intended to be the, how can I bring my best be at my best and what do I not do well? And what do others do even better,
(30:51): Really helpful. Mike, thank you. Kind of taking the beginning to the end of this I, that you talked about and how do you balance that tension between having that growth mindset like got to grow, but also, Hey, God doesn't need me, you know, to accomplish his plans. And there's a tension that we, we can have a growth mindset. I got to go, go, go, wait, wait, God doesn't need me. So I'm going to be better about abiding in the solitude and those components. How do you balance that tension in your life?
(31:22): That's growth mindset, like part of it's to recognize there's other areas in my life I need to grow, right. And it's not just about work. There's a reason why in scripture, Sabbath is such a big deal, right? And when the times got really tough, Jesus went out in silence by himself, right? And there's lots of that in scripture of getting away when things are loud and happening and busy, and the chaos is around us, right. It might be time for some solitude to think through that. So I think with the growth mindset, knowing that we need to grow as much personally, as we do professionally, you know, we talk about reframing success in our podcast, Corey, the talent magnet Institute, reframing success and leadership. And a lot of where that comes from is success in leadership is not just about work success. And leadership is how do I succeed in the relationships that I have, the work that I'm in, the community that I serve and the life that I live, right?
(32:35): How do I be successful is not just work. So many of the leadership programs that we read talks all about work, it's work. It's, you know, how to be higher performing and make better decisions and achieve more. And that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with your book title. When you decided to go with this one, when at home first, like it puts a priority on relationships on home, on life. And we need more of that in this world. Right? How many people do we know that have completely burnt out to the point that bad decisions get made, because I'm so burned out and it's all about me. And that's unfortunately the world that we live. Like that's a lot of how we've trained ourselves to think. So I think when you start thinking about growth mindset, please don't think about that only in a work context, only in a professional context.
(33:30): Well, I'm glad I asked that question for myself as well as for many listeners, just to say a balance of thank you. How can listeners get ahold of you and just everything?
(33:40): Sure. So we created a domain name for that Corey. So you can go to Mike Sipple Jr. Com Mike Sipple, Jr. Com. You can see, you know, how to connect that. Please follow us, follow me on Instagram, LinkedIn, whatever, wherever, whatever your social media of choice. And and then also take a, take a quick look@talentmagnetinstitute.com. We'd love to provide some great resources for you and your teams, and look forward to continuing to build relationship there. Corey, thank you for the opportunity to be on this podcast and to connect with your listeners. Again, I'd love to hear what people are doing to help strengthen some of these areas outside of work. So I think we all can learn about other resources and what they may say, why to listen to when at home first what are you doing?
(34:30): That's right. Awesome. Michael, thank you so much. I appreciate it greatly. Excellent. Corey, thank you. I want to thank you for listening to my podcast. When at home first, I am so grateful to hear from listeners like you, that this content has been helpful. So now I would love for you to pay it forward. I want to get this message in the hands of more listeners. We need leaders to be winning both at home and at work, especially during this time. So please take a minute to share this episode with somebody you think would find value in it, as well as rate and subscribe as a thank you, please visit my website at corymcarlson.com to download a free resource that people are finding value in. Thank you very much.
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