Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

The current situation in the world seems as though it is causing stress and emotional difficulty for a lot of people. However, things may not be as simple as they appear. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by things going on around you, there is good news.

You can control how you respond to stressful situations.

In this episode, Ray and Christy discuss how you are preventing yourself from experiencing happiness, why challenging circumstances aren’t the cause of your emotional distress, and several little-known benefits of meditation.

Show Highlights Include:

  • Doing this is destroying any potential you have for happiness (8:54)
  • The two ways you can choose to respond when the world challenges you (8:35)
  • This is what keeps you from enjoying your life all the time (13:13)
  • Why your current situation is actually NOT what’s causing your emotional distress (14:03)
  • The truth about why your partners see things differently than you (21:10)
  • This little-known meditation benefit can change your life (21:46)
  • Having this response to difficult experiences is the most damaging thing you can do to yourself (27:26)

Ready to co-create the perfect life with your partner? Head over to http://bothonboard.com/ to get your free special report on “7 Game-changers for Highly Effective Entrepreneurial Couples” and level up your life, business, and relationship.

Read Full Transcript

It’s your blockages. Getting hit by something, but it's not. It's not real. It's not there. It's not what's really happening. What's happening is something is happening in front of you. It's coming in through your awareness. You feel something, you think something and then you just let it pass.

Hey, I'm Christy and I'm Ray. And our passion is to inspire entrepreneurial couples to cocreate the life and business of their dreams and enjoy the ride. Together, we built three successful businesses. We have a beautiful three year old daughter and we pride ourselves on living a life by design. And our goal is to help you do the same. Are you ready to take your relationship, your health, and your wealth to the next level? If so, let’s do this.

(00:50): A little bit since we do a podcast. Last one. Christy and I did just her and I think was right around when this Corona thing started and locked down started. I think the last time we were at whole foods, that was the last time we did this. So a lot of things have changed from then till now. And we're excited to share with you our path, our growth on this. Stephan been a spiritual path and we went for a walk today and one of the things that came up is in general how we ourselves, we're going to share with you our process for this, but how we, including ourselves in general as people lie to ourselves and we don't even know that we're lying to ourselves. Like we're the easiest. What does that Kobe that someone says that do your best not to fool yourself cause it, you're the easiest to fool something like that.

(01:38): You know what I'm talking about? So one of the things we've done in the last seven days or seven or eight days has been a course by a person by the name of Michael singer, and it's called the surrender course or the surrender experiment. He wrote a book called the surrender experiment. And he also wrote a book called my untethered soul or the untethered soul. And Michael singer is a great spiritual teacher. He's got a big piece of land over in Gainesville. Christy has been to it. So I'm a little jealous of that. The temple of the universe and Gainesville, right? The spiritual center. And in this surrender course he talks about how to actually live in surrender. And he talks about what the problem is going in. And as Kristy and I wanted to share with you, how you can get real with yourself.

(02:23): That's what we really wanted to get to was like there is no getting real with yourself if you're lying to yourself all the time and is much better at this than I am. And the goal of this podcast right now, this episode is to share with you how you can begin to identify your own stuff and begin to create separation so that you don't live in an illusion. And it's a process. There's levels to this. There's levels to the spiritual game, there's levels to the spiritual path. And again, we'll post the link for this course if you guys want it. It's by sounds true. And it's called the surrender course and there's a YouTube video. We'll also share that in the link of the YouTube video with Tony and his and his wife Sage. And they're talking to Michael singer about this course and they got a ton of value as well as the Oprah got a ton of value from Michael singer. So maybe share with them what, what your key takeaways are from Michael singer. And it's, it's, it's been a lot. So we want to share this with you. And again, we're still integrating this and going to be integrating this into our being. And by integrating I mean living it and body cause nothing, nothing means anything. If you just know it intellectually but you're not living it, it doesn't mean anything.

(03:30): So I think that can you just throw a bunch of stuff out there as usual? I wanted to just back it up a little bit and maybe this is something that you resonate with. Maybe this isn't, and I've seen a lot with our circle of people with our social media people, like people that we follow, people that we know. This whole Corona virus has definitely shifted pretty much everything in, in our lives, in our business, in how we live. Right. And, and just, just all of it, like how we interact with others now it gets just shifted and I'm sure most of you guys listening can relate to this, like how, how much it's shifted in such a short period of time. And I think one of the things that we talked about today on our walk, which got us inspired to come and just discuss this with you guys a little bit raw and real and authentically is all of the ups and downs that we've had throughout these last two months.

(04:34): So yeah, it's just been crazy how much things have shifted and how much things have changed and how many ups and downs we've had and how many revelations we've had and how many bad days we've had and how many good days we've had. And I think it's safe to say that everyone has, has been going through this and with our firm, you know, those of you that have listened to other episodes, like with our basis for what we stand for, with both onboard with our relationship with our business, with our daughter, like all of the stuff has just really been tested at a high level. And we're definitely grateful that we had a lot of things in place already. And even then it's, it's been, it's been challenging. And to see others going through these challenging times has also made us realize like the, the, the value and the power in what we're doing with this.

(05:29): And I think that for me has really, it's really validated. It, it's been, it's been difficult. We've been away from, from, you know, I'm recording this stuff because it's just everything has just changed and everything has shifted. And also seeing how incredibly valuable what we're, you know, we're wanting to put out there and we're wanting to do or wanting to share and what we want to inspire. And, and all of you know, you guys that are listening is this kind of thing like this when it's important, most important, right? It's always important. But when something like this really tests you and shakes you, and obviously this isn't a global level, but in, you know, in your life, right? When things are going well, you know, things are easier, right? Everything is, is, is, is flowing and things are smooth and, and things are good, right?

(06:18): But then when something comes in and really like race says punches you in the face, like how do you react? How do you respond? How do you go through it in a way where you can grow and you can continue and to expand and evolve and use it to make you better, right? Not to knock you down and keep you there, right? It may knock you down, right? That's part of the process. And like what is it that you can do to get back up again better, right? And with more growth, with more intentionality, with more resolve, with more resilience, like those things. And I feel like this is the stuff that we, you know, for lack of a better term, prepare for, right? You prepare for these moments, you prepare for these days and you're never fully prepared because you don't know what life is gonna throw up at us.

(07:00): Right? At the beginning of the year, no one thought, Oh, well, March, April, we're going to be just, you know, on lockdown for, for months and everything's going to like, no one knows that. Right? You don't know what's going to happen if there's going to be a business situation that there's going to be an illness, a death, right. None of that stuff is sent to you, right. To, to, to give you a heads up, right? It just happens. And then when that does happen, how you respond to it and how you show up to it is where the gold comes in, right? Where the, where you can see how far you've come and how far you get to continue to go. So it's definitely been, you know, interesting for us and just seeing other people going through similar things as us and, and, and some different things. Right. It's just been eye opening and definitely rocked her rock our worlds quite a bit.

(07:49): I think one of the things you said that was really amazing and, and, and, and audience, amazing listeners. Give us some room cause we're a little rusty on this one. Okay. Give us a little leeway here. One of the things you mentioned that kind of a heard from Les Brown was really key in what you said is I notice a lot of people going through this and I noticed a lot of people growing through this and that's been the, that's been all the difference. And what's really happened is this Coronavirus has exposed people's expectations and illusions. If you had an expectation that something was supposed to be a certain way and then you no longer had control of it, that's what's being exposed right now. Hey, the exterior world doesn't match the way I think it should be and I'm either going to suffer or I'm going to surrender. Those are the choices you have for a long time. We suffered through it versus surrender and surrender is accepting things the way they are and seeing things for what they are, not what you would like them to be and not having had the world show up a certain way so that then you can be happy. I mean that's as he says, ridiculous. It's ridiculous that you would need the exterior world to show up a certain way so that you can be happy. That is crazy.

(09:03): And then not just, you could be happy then the 7 billion ways, right? Cause everybody has their own unique way of looking at things in their own experiences. And we've talked about that in prior episodes. We all have our own stuff. We all have our own beliefs, our own way of, of, of being like all this stuff. And then the outside world that he mentions is, it is what it is, right? This is what's happening and we don't have any control over what's happening or not happening. And yet we want things to come in and be the way we want them to be. The way I want them to be. But what about the way Ray wants them to be? Who's right and who's wrong. There is no right or wrong. So there's no control over what's happening in front of you or how, how things are, are being how things are playing out. But it's how you're perceiving them and what, what you have your expectations that grey said that are getting, you know, challenged, right? Especially when things are not going well and then that's making you feel a certain way. And then it's just this internal process of like constantly feeling like things have to be a certain way for you to feel good, then you're never going to feel good and you're never going to be okay.

(10:10): Yeah. So let's back that up cause there's a lot there. I think what we do on this podcast is we give you our oversight of what we understand this to mean at this current level because we're going to be doing this course, the surrender course again. So right now what we understand is here's what happens. We experience something. How do we experience something? Well, we have a thought in our mind. Think of a giraffe. Think of a cow that's that thought you have with something. When you were a child or those formative years or wherever you had something come up that you couldn't deal with, like you couldn't handle at that age or whatever it is. So you said, Hey, I'm resisting something or I'm attached to something. Those are the two things that are going on. You're either, when you were younger, you either resisted this parent or this ID or whatever, or you said, wow, I love that. I want more of that. And you held onto it and you created what he calls some, some scarer, some SCARA. Really you created something in your body that think of it as a flow of a river and you've just created a barrier there. So now the energy that she, the shock, the whatever, cannot flow through there as smooth. And over the years you've had tons of these based on your unique experiences,

(11:23): Right? So it's, it's, it's, it's, imagine a river, you've got this river flowing, the rivers flowing, it's smooth, there's, there's sand at the bottom and it's just smooth flowing, river flowing. You know, my needs own business. And then something happens that either you liked or you didn't like. And then that is like a pebble or a rock or a Boulder in some cases being tossed into this flowing river. So now what you've got is this blockage, right? This, this, this blockage of the flow of the free flowing river is now getting a little bit pushed to the side a little bit. And then not just that. Then there's splashes, right? So when the flowing river hits the rock or the pebble or whatever your stuff he calls it, then that creates a little bit of a ripple of, of a splash, a dis, a disturbance, right?

(12:11): And then imagine this is, you know, when you're three, four, five, six, imagine now that you're 2030, 40, 50, 60 imagine the amount of pebbles or rocks or boulders that are in this flowing river. And so what he calls out is this energy is not flowing. And it's, I mean it depends on what you obviously what you believe. But he, if he's talking more into the chakras, right? So into the energetic flow of your, of your aura, of your, of your being and it's getting blocked. So that's why what he likes to, I mean there's so much here, but what he likes to say is like that, that moment of like carrying your first child or that like those blissful moments that you can think of, those are just really quick moments. But if you could remove these blockages, right somehow, right? And that's what we're working on right now.

(13:00): But if you could somehow get rid of these things, that bliss and that amazingness feeling can be all the time. But we're blocking it with all of our stuff constantly. So that flow is not there. So surrender is to first before you can surrender to it, to, to anything. You need to work on those blockages. And that's what I think is just mind boggling to us. Cause like we've been doing all this personal development stuff for many, many years. And then we got into the, you know, the business stuff and now the spiritual stuff and we're seeing like it just all makes sense. Like at such a deep level now it's like we've just acquired, accumulated all this stuff. And then when the world happens in front of us, it just comes into our, into our perception. And we basically get stuck in what we're, how we're perceiving it because of past things that have happened to us. It's not what's happening currently right now in this, you know, three D reality. It's things that have happened in the past that I keep coming right back up and they're reminding you of something and then you're, you're dealing off of these, these things that are within you that half the time you don't even know how they got there. And that's what you're basing your feelings, your thoughts, your emotions, your actions. Awful, right?

(14:08): This stuff gets triggered. So you have something now that triggers a decision you made when you were four or five or six or 10 or whatever, something you weren't able to handle at that time. Something new, a new experience comes up and it triggers that old thing in you and now you hold onto it even more. So really, you're never living in the present. You're living in the past because you're reacting to whatever it is. So again, let's go back to your reacting to whatever is showing up. So you have thoughts that you think, right? Thoughts that you think, Hey, think of a drafting of a cow. You have what the external world is actually showing you. So you have that. You're seeing whatever it is. But think of it as you're seeing it through a filter of all your past stuff. So you're not really seeing reality in what you're seeing is a TV that has a bunch of filters that you put based on the past.

(14:58): Our goal for you, for all of us is to live your truth, to know what the truth is, to stop living a lie, right? To get to what's real. And I said, babe, how do we get them to get to what's real when they don't know what real is? Because if I said, Hey, show me who you want to be and what you want to do, all that's going to come up, it's passed. It's going to be passed through that filter, through that lens. And none of it's real. It's all just illusions of what you got a book, you got attached to it, what you don't or what you don't want. We're just trying to more what you're looking to gain and the world has to show up a certain way for you to be happy. That is never going to work it. We're talking about this voice inside of you.

(15:35): Hey, this guy sped up. Hey, this guy slowed down. Hey, what about this? Hey, what about that? That's what we're looking to release, right? That's what's looking to let go of. So we're looking for you to operate from that higher self. So let's back up a second. Let's talk about baby. And again, this was a seven or eight deep course. But what we understand now is that there's things that come into that come into us. So one, there's thoughts that we think, and there's things that we see from the outside. And then there's emotions. What are emotions where emotions think of them as a piano. And the piano is something your heart place, your heart can play, the low deep tone tunes and they can play the high ones. Some were in this and then that triggers thoughts. And then sometimes they all work together, right?

(16:19): You have a negative thought and it goes [inaudible] and then everything else comes up. All the other negative ones. So these, these blockages really create this, sees you're not at ease within yourself. And then the world needs to show up a certain way for you to be at ease, which will never happen. So really you're always suffering and you're living an illusion based on your past. I mean, that's really it. There's more levels to this. I mean, you can, we can break this down further. That's our current understanding. So now that you understand what the issue is, our goal or what the challenge is, our goal is really to help you and ourselves release that so that what, so that you can get to the peace, love and joy. It's always there that you're just not experiencing because the world needs to show up a certain way in order for you to be happy and that's never going to work. So what's our next step?

(17:13): Well, I think that you, you mentioned it, so that's why I was, I was telling him to slow down a little bit because you started talking about the observer and I think that's an important part of it too. So when he mentioned what Michael singer mentions in his course then there's, he's been doing, you know, he's been doing lectures and he's, he's a professor, he's been doing these things for 40 years. So he's met and people come to his events, you know, twice a week for the last 40 years. So it's, it's, he's seen a lot, right. And he, people come to him and say, my heart hurts. And then his question is how do you know? And he says, people look at him like he's crazy because I know, because my heart hurts. Who? Right? So it's who knows? Like who is it?

(17:52): He calls it the observer, right? That voice, that not the voice. The observer of the voice. Right. And it's who is saying that my heart hurts and how do you know that it hurts because someone is in there, something is in there, some kind of, I don't know. What does he call it? Like he calls it like a, like it's the observer. I don't, I don't know how to explain it. Sorry. It's the observer is in there. It's the higher self. Right. But it's like a, it's like a observers in there. It'll come to me. The observer is in there and he's saying he's the one that's seeing this happening. He's the one that's seen the thoughts. He's the one that's feeling the emotion. Right? Or she, and he's not feeling the emotion, right. He's the observer. But then who is in there? Like, that's where you want to get to is that there's, there's that higher level of consciousness of, of a being in there that's experiencing these things. But he, they're just, it's, it's, it's almost like a neutral thing, like right. That's, that's just, it's just being seen. Right? And then you got the, what we call in the past that anybody shitty committee, which is the, the voice in there saying like, almost like narrating everything that's going on. The good, the bad.

(18:55): There's a committee and then there's the orchestra and then there's what you're seeing,

(18:58): Right? There's a whole part of the whole party in there. So that's what he's saying is like, you want to get to that place and he puts his hand like we're both doing it right now, but he puts his hand like back behind his, his head, like at the top of it, that's the observer. That's the one, that's, that's consciousness, right? That's where your, where your higher self is, where you're the true nature of you. And then there's all this other stuff going on. So there's the stuff that's happening that's coming in through your senses and it's getting perceived a certain way because it's what you know, what you believe, what you've experienced based on all the stuff you've experienced in the past. Then there's the thoughts that come up, right? The ideas and the images and the, and the, the things that you think of when this stuff is happening. Right? All right. And then the emotions that come up, and sometimes they work in unison, sometimes they're at odds, sometimes they're, you know, what? Only one part is happening. But then there's the emotions, right? So your heart of the feelings that you feel because of this stuff. So there's the thoughts and then there's the feelings and then there's what's happening in reality and it's all kind of working together to your detriment.

(20:05): Well let's, let's, let's talk about reality. You can't even see a reality. What you see is your perception of reality. Cause there's a filter based on your past of what you're seeing. Reality. Two people can look at the same event and get two completely different responses

(20:18): Because it's hitting the different stuff that's stored in. Like I, if we both see something happening, I'm going to experience it and feel it and think about it in one way and Ray's going to think about it and feel it and experience it in different way. And then we're going to come talk about it and it's going to be like, what do you mean? What are you talking? Like our stuff doesn't match. So our perspective but we think it should. Right. And that's why like it's another beautiful part of both onboard like being a couple, right, being in a partnership and expecting the other person to think and believe. And we've talked about this, I'm like, I feel like I'm, I'm having, you know deja VU because we've talked about the expecting the other person to think and be and do an act and feel and want everything that you have or do or you know, like all of your stuff.

(21:03): And they never had your experiences. They had come, she has completely different experiences. And I have an intern expect those to, I mean how currently it's just crazy now. So I think that that's, that's, that was the other part that was huge for us as like really starting to get and like for example, he gives the example now we're on, we're on lesson seven. Actually we have eight tomorrow. I mean tonight. But, and less than seven, he discusses like things that we do. So what do we like to do? We like to meditate. Okay, well why do we meditate? Well, it's not just meditate to sit there and, and you know, clear mind and not think of anything. It's start to get familiar with this observer. Start to get familiar with this higher part of yourself that is pretty much neutral. Like it's just experiencing life.

(21:41): And he goes into detail with this. But I thought, I think it's beautiful to share. It's like we're just here to experience life and we've got this beautiful mind that's, that's capable of so much. We've got this beautiful heart that has so many, you know, beautiful notes to play with. We can experience sorrow, we can experience joy. We can experience bliss, we can experience frustrated. Like it's instead of looking at it like, Oh, this is negative, I don't like it and this is positive and I only want this to just experience all of it. And then he talks about how that can, that is what causes expansion and growth and fulfillment is to be able to experience all of it and let it all in and let it flow through you. And the reason why you get those blockages, another huge part, the reason why you get the blockage, it's because like Ray was saying, you're the resistant so you push it down or you hold onto it and you cling to it.

(22:26): But either way you don't let it pass through your consciousness. You don't let it pass through your awareness. You don't let it pass and continue on. You hold onto it or you suppress it and that's why the blockage has happened in the first place. They get stuck there because you don't let them pass. You don't let the, like if you're, if you're feeling, for me, a big one that came up recently was my grandfather's passing. When my grandfather passed away. I was 11 I think, 11 maybe 12 and it was like pain that I had never experienced in my whole life. Like I don't think I've ever experienced pain like that ever again either. But it was this ouch, right? This, this feeling of just constriction. And the thing is that we don't know how to deal with that. So we suppress it and, and instead of saying, wow, I loved him so much, he was, he meant so much to me.

(23:10): He was so amazing. And letting the, the sorrow, the grief, whatever comes up, come up, we suppress it. We're like, no, we can't. Right. Boys don't cry. Right. All these things that come up and, and you know, hide your feelings and be strong, right? All, all of these things are, those are the blockages that come up and it's because we either resisted it or we cling to it. I really want this relationship to work and this has to work in this. And if they leave me, I'll, I'll surely die. Right? You're clinging to it. Neither one is, is worth like, it's just neither one is gonna make you better or worse. It's just letting it pass through. That's what's going to help you grow. That's going to help you be more, be more well versed in life. Right? And it's letting that pass through you and letting it be the way it is and experience whatever you're experiencing.

(23:54): If you're experiencing sorrow of you're experiencing grief, feel it and accept it. And if you're experiencing, you know, bliss and pleasure and, and, and, and excitement feel that too. But don't cling to it because it's gonna go, it's gonna, it's gonna all come tenuously change. He talks about, he goes into like the L a the elements and the particles and the atoms. I got a little bit lost in all that science stuff, but all of it is just constantly moving. So you have to let it move through you and flow through you or else that's why the blockages happened because you resist or you cling to what you want to happen. And none of it's permanent, like none of it. Everything is going to be changing and everything is transient and everything is going to evolve and everything is going to shift and move and grow. So if you cling to things or if you resist things, that's where the blockages come up.

(24:41): Yeah, and in meditation, one of the things he shares is the goal of meditation or the, the preliminary goal of you're starting on meditation is to become aware of the voice. There's a voice talking in your head and you are the one listening to the voice. If you can do that, then you know that there's somebody in there who's listening to the voice. You are not the voice talking. And if you can feel your emotions, if you can be the one feeling and watching, there's someone feeling the emotions and there's someone watching that emotion. If you can be the observer neutral of the emotion, that's the purpose of meditation. It's where you can watch yourself, observe yourself, have an emotion and think a thought. And it's not you. You're just the one observing it. That's a, that's a victory in meditation. So that's all that does.

(25:31): The other thing he says that was very interesting and he talks about like the plan is the universe is how that came to be. The biggest thing I took away, he's like for where we're at right now, it took 13.8 billion years for this situation. Me and Christie in this moment right now recording this podcast and for me to have the audacity to expect and not only expect but needed to be a certain way so I can feel a certain way so it doesn't hit my stuff that I've created on 0.001% of my experiences is utterly ridiculous and then not appreciating what is, what are you, are you out there working to make sure the sun comes up tomorrow and that the moon comes up tonight? Come on like, like it just really brings a lot of perspective and awareness of just really starting to release a lot of these things.

(26:24): You can get to what's real. If you're not willing to release these things, the things that you were attached to or the things that you wanted to get away from, you can never be real. And the truth is you'll never be happy, fulfilled, and you'll be in suffering your entire life and you'll be living a lie and it's unfulfilled. And I don't care about how much things in the external you need that you think will fulfill you. They will never fulfill you, whether it's money or you're chasing this and the external. If there's all these things in the internal, nothing in the external is going to fulfill you. You might say, Oh, I got this goal, great, but the next day you're miserable because you never handled all these, this, this eases that came up through all these, all these wounds that are looking to be healed and released really aren't even. Wounds are just blockages that are, are dying to be released. So what does the universe do in her infinite wisdom? She brings up experiences so that you can actually release that. But what we do as humans is it comes up, Oh no crap, I don't want to feel that. And we push it down even further, usually through an addiction, overeating, drinking something else. And it's, I mean, it's ridiculous that we, that we just continue this pattern.

(27:38): And I think that it's, it's funny cause I got, as he's speaking, and we kind of talked about this, this episode, but we didn't really have like a set thing, but it's just so much more comes up, right? So much more so many more layers and, and this for us, I mean obviously we're, we're, we're excited about this and we're going to continue to work on this and, and, and just evolve through this. And it's just, it made such a deep impact in our lives during this, you know, chaotic time in, in the, on the planet. Right? And, and, and it's just, it is what it is, right? We are where we are and you know, for us, Valentina has been home for two months and our business has shifted completely and we're, we're, you know, just experiencing all these things. And then to really get this peace, this, this awareness of, of what it is that's really happening for us has been so life shifting, right?

(28:30): Just to say, wow, like what? And I and I, and I feel like we always kind of knew it. Like when we, when we talk about, you know, the, these things with personal development and journaling and meditation and yoga and like all these things that we love to talk about and do, but then to really see the simplicity of it, it's just we put that stuff in there and we have, you know, several episodes on responsibility, take the responsibility of saying, wow, I created this. I put that in there. And not from a place that he says not from a place of blame or guilt or, or, or victimization like victim hood. Like it's not, it's not that it was wrong, it's just, it's what we do. Like for whatever reason, this is what humans do. We decide to, to hold onto certain things and we decide to resist certain things.

(29:14): And just having that awareness of saying, Oh, that's why it bothers me when this person speeds up. Oh, that's why it bothers me when my mother talks to me that way. All that's why it bothers me when, when, when I hear this or I see this on one on, on social media, like just that awareness of like who is it that's really observing it and then what is going on with your perception that's making you feel good or bad? Because it's, it's we label the good and the too, like there was nothing wrong with sorrow and grief and anger and like there's nothing wrong with any of it. Obviously you don't want to go like do something bad to somebody else or anything, but there's nothing wrong with it. We just feel like it's bad. We call it bad and then it becomes something very negative.

(29:59): Whereas if you can let it come up and say, Oh wow, I'm feeling sorrow right now. Oh, this, this is what it feels like to lose somebody. Oh, this is what it feels like to have a breakup and really feel lonely. Right. Whatever that is is it's just there to, to, to expand you and, and help you be better. I think like just become a more expansive person where then if it happens again, then you can say, Oh wow, that's what that is. Okay. I know how I know how to deal with that. I know how to, how to continue. I can handle that.

(30:29): I can handle that. Yeah. And one of the things she's also mentioned too is, is we become attached to being attached. Let me go deeper into that. And I had a teacher told me there's a spiritual teacher and when she said it to me, I didn't get it, and now I don't know that I fully get it. So Christie will help us. When she said, attached is you, we humans, we think that we are that emotion or that thought. So not true. You're not that. But then not only do you think of that thought, you become attached to that thought, whether it was a good thought, you want to hold onto it or you become attached to not experiencing it again. So you become attached to thinking you're that emotion or that thought or that experience and then you're attached to that thinking that you are, that, that, that, that that is you, that you are the emotions or you are your thoughts.

(31:18): You are not that. You are simply the observer of that and you forgot and whenever you walk borate from that lower self, that person was living in the past, but living in the present, they're in the present but they're really not ever experiencing the present because they're living all their past stuff. Whenever you're there, you're always going to be suffering. That lower self all can do is suffer. It's a ridiculous game that you created. It's not meant for you to be happy, joy fulfilled. So that's one of the biggest things that we want to share with you out of this. Maybe any other thoughts?

(31:52): I mean I think we've covered a lot. I think that it's interesting to be going through this time and I think that one thing we can, we can ask you all to do as you're listening is think about how that's coming up. And it's not about being wrong or changing everything or being super dramatic or or extreme on anything. It's just look at, especially during this time in this situation like that we're all in right now, right. As a, as a, as a world like where, where can you start to see these patterns? Where can you start to observe yourself and how you're showing up to situations and then like almost like Ray said, like detach yourself from that. Like be the observer, seeing what's going on. You don't have to change anything just yet, but just practice that awareness. Practice that, that, Oh, that is something that in my book, like where people say, like my buttons got triggered, my buttons got pushed.

(32:43): That's exactly what it is. It's not you that got pushed. It's your buttons that got pushed. It's your blockages. It's your, it's your, it's your perception of how things need to be and what you want and don't want that's making you react. And we talked about this in, in, in, in depth, in other episodes react a certain way because you're acting again based off of the past blockages and the things that were put there or you held onto for whatever reason or wanting to hold on or kept repressed for whatever that is. But it's, it's hitting your, it's pressing your buttons. It's, that's another way to put it. It's your blockages getting hit by something and then that means then you make that mean something. Right. But it's not like it's not real. It's not there. It's not, it's not what's really happening. What's happening is something is happening in front of you.

(33:31): It's coming in through your awareness. You feel something, you think something and then you just let it pass. And like that for me was the first time that I really understood that. I remember I went to see Michael singer in, in, in the tumble of the universe probably what, like two years ago I asked him the question like how do you let it go? Like how do you do it? And he gave me an answer and I wrote it down in my journal and I still didn't get it and now is when I'm actually understanding it. It's like because we held onto something or we claimed to something and or we, I'm sorry, we cleansed to something or we push something down and then that is what we're measuring things up against for the rest of our lives. Whether that happened when we were four or 14 or or yesterday, but it's not what's happening right now in front of us. The fact that there's a slow driver in front of you doesn't mean that they're a jerk and you're right. It just means that there's a slow driver in front of you. Like that's it.

(34:21): Yeah. The fact that the lady at the park told me, Hey, I couldn't use the pull up machine and use the park was her just telling me, Hey look, you can't use this, this stuff or now it didn't mean she was trying to infringe on my freedom and punish me, which is what it's meant for me in the past. So I said, thank you. Let me finish up. What I'm doing and I'll leave and I said, have a great day. But in the past I would have reacted toward like I've had done even recently. So again, just knowing what your triggers are, we call them triggers. Remember one of our first episodes, what are your triggers that you put down there? Because you wanted, you didn't want to accept something or you wanted to cling to something. And that's what's coming up. So again, these things will control and ruin and create suffering in your life.

(35:04): If they're not released, they're being hit by your experiences in the world so that they can be released. And the reason they're being hit is because you're seeing them more and more because you're seeing the world and you're experiencing the world, your emotions, your thoughts and your feelings and, and, and, and what the world is showing you to bring these up so they can be released so that you can get back to peace, love, and joy and what you always are. And the great thing is this universe, the moment in front of you has taken 13.8 billion years to get to where it's at. It'll never come back again. Just like that. Love that, embrace that, be appreciative of that, but you never in the moment or you're in your head and you're in your heart about the past. You're not even in your heart of the higher self.

(35:46): You're in your heart of how things need to be. For me to be happy and then looking for the external world to max that to max that. Exactly. Otherwise it's not going to work for you. I mean it's crazy. So we love you. We appreciate you. Thank you for listening to us on the next episode. We're excited. We're going to cover. We're going to go over what, how we've actually used that to actually really disassemble and start to question a lot of these past beliefs and past things that have come up and what we're going to do differently because of them. But you have to first be aware of them so then you can be, you can make a place, you can make a decision or a new action from a place of complete neutrality versus living from the past. Guys, if you live in the past,

(36:29): Which is all that stuff, all you can do is carry that forward. So tomorrow looks like yesterday. Anything else angel? Love you. Appreciate your, thank you. Thanks for hanging out with us and listening to the bolts on board podcasts. Go to our website at bothonboard.com to receive your free special report on seven game changers for highly effective occupant aerial couples. You can also connect to this on Facebook and Instagram at Baucom board. If you got value from us, please subscribe to our channel and leave an amazing five star reviews hub. We can help others get on board to concrete. The life and business of the dreams and enjoy the ride. We hope to connect with you soon.

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