It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F word here. Freedom. We'll share straight from the trenches. What we've learned from leaving our own addictions behind and coaching hundreds of others to do the same. And since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it.
(00:35): Hey, welcome back to the new and improved, alive and free podcast. Uh, this is your host Lee Hollis. Uh, this is actually a part two. We aren't actually doing a new and approved, uh, live and free podcast. Bob drove out of the driveway and irresponsibly left his computer open and the microphone. So we thought we would, uh, take our moment and maybe talk about some things that we've seen or experienced if you were a part of, uh, last week's podcast. Uh, you know, that we have a lot of fun together, but we wanted to maybe, uh, take a little bit of a turn and not necessarily be so lighthearted, but maybe talk specifically about our own experience with a freedom specialist in coming into an event or online course or whatever, and just kind of our own questions maybe. And then as we've been involved, uh, some of us for years, uh, in some of us for months, just the questions that we've encountered along the way. So I thought I'd open it up, uh, to us. We, we kind of all have a question, I think in mind of something that has been brought to us. And so I just wanna start it out that way. So,
(01:45): Hey guys, Jonathan here. And just when I first approached this work, really didn't know what was here for me. My wife knew Bob through a business connection and was just curious if I was interested in an event. And for me personally, my chief concern that came right to the surface was will I lose myself in this? Will I become a person that I'm not, when I try something so different outside of my comfort zone that I'd never explored before, will I ultimately turn into this alter version or whatever the fear was? And it was simply rooted in this fear of the unknown, not being willing to go through that door to just be open-minded to what there was for me at the event, and really just all of the different ramifications or benefits that were gonna come out on the other side. And so for me, the fear was really starting to creep up and I just decided to call Bob for 10 minutes, just needed to ask him, is this gonna change me?
(02:51): And he said, yeah, it will, but you don't need to be afraid of that because you're not gonna lose who you are. It's just gonna be a better version of you because it's the truer version of you without all of the crap in the mix. So, and that was my whole goal for going. So just this fear I've seen come up for other people will this change me. I'm really happy with who I am right now, but at the same time, you're not simply because there's a pattern in your life that you've been trying to break away from for years, or you're just not happy with who you've become in different arenas of your life. And so what I've found is when somebody is worried about this changing, who they are, whether it's faith, whether it's feeling like there's been a shift in how they show up to work and show up to their families, the fear is always just, are you ready for what's out there for you?
(03:51): Are you ready for, what's gonna be out on the other side of going through this work. And it's just the discomfort that you're facing. Just the discomfort of not really knowing what's gonna be here for you. And that's why we get excited cuz of the unknown. We gotta go on an adventure with you. Um, and we will do the serious part and really start to break through those stories. But the question I have for you is do you wanna be somebody who's good at not doing the pattern that you've been stuck in or do you wanna be really good at being the best version of yourself or do you really just wanna be really good at living? And that's one of my favorite questions to ask people when I get the chance to talk to them. And that was because the question was so relevant to my experience. So to that point, like you're afraid of losing yourself. What did you find on the other side of your, like your first retreat? What happened with that self that you were concerned about?
(04:48): I was just getting in my own way. Yeah. I really just felt super scared because I had tried to change myself before and it didn't work or I felt like I had started to go down even worse parts of certain behaviors in my life and was still not seeing a lot of change. And so the result of going through this work was just relaxing, really being present, really being myself and just finding comfort in my own shoes to fully be who I want to be with all, all the crap in the mix. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'll probably ask this of you two as well, Amber and Tucker, but like my own experience, what I found was like after the retreat, like I it's, like I had been reset somehow. Like I went back to a version of me that was lighter. That was goer, that was telling more dad jokes than I did before, you know, which was, you know, I love that part of me and other people might groan and whatever, but like there was a return to something in me that was pure and more lighter and more accessible and, and more joy filled. What would you say, Amber?
(05:59): Yeah, for me, there was parts of me that I really didn't know existed. I didn't know that I could be completely just relaxed and comfortable, happy present, uh, without all of the thoughts in my head and everything that I was trying to control, take care of. be protective of all of those things. And with all of those pieces gone, there was something else entirely that showed up. Um, and that's just been really beautiful. Tuck. What would you say? I know, I think back to some of the experiences I've had in conversations with both men and women that were exploring the possibility of working with the freedom specialist, especially some of the men that I worked with early on that were dealing with pornography, uh, an unwanted pornography habit. And one of those questions, you know, is, is this gonna change me? Am I gonna lose myself? One of the questions that I liked to ask them on our initial call together is what do you anticipate life looking like a year, five years, 10 years from now, if this thing is no longer an issue in your life. And I was always amazed that the response and I think it was like 99% of the guys that I spoke with, couldn't give me a clear response. Like I have no idea what life could look like. I have no idea what my relationships will look like.
(07:21): I don't know what it'll look like to show up professionally or like in any aspect of my life, because this thing has been such an issue for so long that it's unclear what's possible. And so it was not just a fear that like, oh, it's gonna change me. It was a fear of man, what if I come out of this, I'm not dealing with this issue anymore. And I don't like who I am at that point. And so there was just kind of this big question. And so for me in the event space, I think early on one of the questions that not even with the event space, but just working with Bob in general, one of the questions that I had maybe kind of works in line with what Jonathan talked about is this idea. Like I've done so many things because for me, if you've heard my story, I did traditional therapy, marriage and family therapist, psychologists, psychiatrist, medication, a ton of different diagnoses diagnoses.
(08:09): Uh, I was dealing with suicidal ideation. My marriage was on the rocks like my life at the point when I met Bob was dire and I didn't want to feel like I was being forced into making a decision to sign up for something that I was uncertain about. Uh, and at the time I was also exploring the possibility of going to an inpatient treatment center, which was a lot of money, um, more money than I had at the time. And didn't seem like it was possible, but it was like an alternative option, something that I could explore. And so when I was introduced to Bob and was presented with this opportunity to come and try something different, different than I had done before, there was still this lingering question in my mind, if this doesn't work, what if this doesn't work? And if it doesn't, am I outta luck?
(08:52): Like, is this my final hope? And if this doesn't pan out, am I screwed because I was already in a really bad place. That's not something that I was comfortable with. And so I was a little bit terrified when I opted to sign up and I remember making the payment and having that, you know, initial call with Bob and thinking, well, I'm locked in, ready to go. Hopefully something here works. Cuz if not, I'm, I'm basically screwed. So kind of looking at both of those questions, I went through the process. If you haven't heard my story, you can go back and listen. There's so many things that changed for me as I started to work with Bob as a client. And that eventually as I stepped into the role of a coach, but I continued to see this question, come up for people like one, will I lose myself two, if this doesn't work, am I out of luck?
(09:37): Is there nothing else out there for me? And I had a friend that I've known for a number of years and another client recently that had that same fear signed up for an initial call, got on a call, sounded like they were ready to go backed out. And in one case didn't hear from the individual for a year. And then when we did reconnect, he's like, I think I'm ready to jump in. And then again, radio silence. And it was at that point, I realized that he was going through that same experience. He, like myself, had gone through so many different things and he was in that place making a decision or not making a decision out of fear because he was worried that if he did try and fail at this, that there would be nothing left for him. And that's a really hard place to make a decision from. So whether or not you've worked with us or trying to determine, you know, if this is something that you want to explore more, I'd say really look at that question. Like, is there this belief that, you know, this could be the final hope? And I would just say that, like Jonathan's mentioned either in this podcast, the one before this isn't the only option. This is a way, and for us here in this room, the four of us it's been the best way, uh, better than anything else that we've done before. And a lot of that is built off of the fact that we've taken it and made it our own. So that's a big part of it. And so for you, if you're sitting here thinking, man, I've done all these different things, none of them have worked. This is just gonna be the next thing.
(10:55): And it could be the last thing and then what there's gonna be something else. But I can also say that jumping into this and committing to it and doing it the way that it was laid out until I was ready to adapt it and make it my own made a world of difference. I committed up front to doing what was asked of me and that gave me the space and the, and the possibility to really start to shift the heaviest, darkest, most miserable aspects of my life. And consequently, then to be able to take that back to my family and my friends. And so that's what I would say in terms of just some of those initial questions. And some of the hesitancy that I experienced is cuz I had tried so much and man going through as many years of therapy and drugs and side effects and withdrawals and all these different things, you know, being fed to me that this is what's wrong with you.
(11:47): And just really being a guessing game, really put me in a place of, I don't wanna just sign up for something that's gonna leave me worse than I was before I did this. And that wasn't the case. And for the people that we've had the, the privilege of working with, I would say that by and large, although this has not worked for everyone, the majority of individuals that we have worked with that have put in the time and utilized the support of the team, that's here for them have seen benefits that have surpassed even just those issues that brought them here. Initially it goes so far beyond that. And so that's kinda what I would just leave off with is just, there's so much possibility if you come in for one thing, get ready and be prepared to have so many other aspects of your life changed by what's here and what's possible.
(12:36): And again, it's just an, it's an open invitation to exploring, uh, exploring your life, bringing back some of those parts of you, like Lee said that may have just been buried and to really see you in a new light for who you are, um, for some of you for the first time in decades and to show up in your families, if you're married and have kids for them to be able to see this new version of you that has been there, but has been buried underneath all the gunk and all the baggage that you've been logging around. Yeah. There's so much I identify with what you're talking about just personally in my journey, having gone through counseling and education and certifications and all those things. And I've said before that I wasn't hope less, but I wasn't also hope. And so, um, when the information came along for me on the website and just read down deep into the, into the webpage, um, was like, wow, like this is different than I've heard before. And all of the things that I had tried had sustained me, but had not gotten me over the hump. I just felt like this was always gonna be a part of my life. Um, how about you Amber? Like what did you try before you came to freedom?
(13:47): What did I try? My goodness. I spent some time in a functional medicine hospital in Mexico. We tread that twice, spent two months there and then really doctors, IV antibiotics, um, uh, just so many things and then a variety of like kind of energy healing, kind of different modalities, as far as that goes, acupuncture, pressure. all the things. How long would you say you were involved with that journey and like, are, is this years or days or what? Oh, we're talking years, years and years. Like, like a decade. Yeah, it was actually probably longer than that. So all the pain started when I was 10 and when I met Bob, I was uh, almost 40 38. Wow. Okay. How about you done? Just In terms of what I had tried before. Yeah, I had simply done my thing. I wasn't really actively searching for a cure. I was passively hoping I'd find the right person to talk to through conversation or accountability. I thought that was gonna be the way to just keep things at bay so that I could live a happy life. And so that just was a really passive way of living and not a present one, which was not aligned with who I was at the core. And as a result, I was super unhappy for probably a solid five years. And it's ironic simply because those were the five best years of my life in most ways, because I was married to the girl of my dreams. I had just started to grow more friendships than ever because I made the intentional choice of being there with other people, not just for myself, but I kept getting into this internal spiral of just not liking myself anytime I was by myself.
(15:44): And I would judge things I would say I would feel inadequate in terms of my career. And it was always tied to the same belief that mm-hmm I just kind of suck. So what wasn't working for me was just doing nothing. And I also knew that I didn't want to dig into a rehab center or a year on year off therapy journey, simply because that just wasn't aligned with what I was looking for. But once I actually sat back and found this work, I was aware that there's something different here and it's not that it was the right thing, right? It's not that it was the perfect solution. There was still some questions in my mind going in, I definitely had doubts in my head that I was just really wrestling with, but I knew that there was something here that was gonna be different than anything else I could experience. And that was exciting enough for me to really dive all in. And once I dove all in, I got everything out.
(16:54): If you or someone, you know, is looking to drop the FBO of freedom in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or want some help doing it. Head on over to the freedom specialist.com/feel better now and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call. So we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. You know, something that's super exciting for me. As you talked, how old were you when you, uh, first got involved? I Was 25. That's amazing. Like at 53 years old, it's gonna be 54 happy birthday to me. uh, uh, like to think of being 25 years old and have Bob accessible and the things that he's learned in his book and all that stuff, would it change a lot of suffering, you know, like, and I don't know that I would've been ready for it. Right. Like everything prepared me for the moment when I was ready, you know? Um, and so I'm grateful for that. And like, if I could have avoided decades of that, uh, struggling with that issue on my own and doing the best I could, uh, which is so fun when we see like teenagers come to the program to think that they can establish at that point in their lives, healthy habits and overcome things that some men may never ever deal with. That's pretty exciting. That's fun to be a part of that. So, uh, we've had a couple questions, Amber, what was your question? What was the thing that you kind of brought to before your first freedom experience?
(18:33): So I feel like I was incredibly blessed to kind of have the freedom specialist kinda hit me in the face or the back actually, if you've heard, um, my story of first meeting Bob, it was really, really impactful. Both physically and mentally and emotionally, all the things Bob just, I had met him at an event and he showed up as a speaker there for one of the sessions. And so I got to see kind of right off the bat, what was possible. Um, and so I didn't really need convincing that this was something very different than anything else that I had tried because I saw the evidence of that very quickly. Um, for me as meeting with him happened and sessions took place and I was really experiencing some incredible things. I started to just wonder like, is this okay? Is it all right? I had the sort of faith based question is God okay with this? And I don't know, I don't know exactly where that came from other than here was this guy that had all of these answers. It felt like so much was figured out. And then when I would share that with people, right, I'd be like, oh man, you'll never believe what happened and tell a friend or tell family, it's kind of like, oh, well where's God in all of that. So I started to have that question rattling around in my head and, and since becoming a coach with a freedom specialist, I've had a lot of clients ask that very same question and I prayed about it and just kind of went along and just paid attention and was aware like, okay, well God brought me Bob, right. And the freedom specialist. So I'm gonna write on that for a while.
(20:22): And it was actually talking it out with clients one after the other, that it just became really, really clear that what Bob's doing is working with the body and the mind in the way in which it was designed. And how can that go against God? Right. That's kinda what came up for me. Like that's, it's not actually in conflict at all. Um, and then we watch clients from all different faiths and people that claim no faith at all, and they're all having the same experiences. Right. And so that was, that was huge. I mean, Bob never had said nor had any of the processes claimed to have anything to do with faith beyond working with what's here, the body and the mind. And then for me, the, the layers of healing, uh, were so incredible. It became very clear at some point that this was not just a matter of the absence of illness in my life, but the actual presence of wellness. And it feels like that's just still unfolding when I think, oh man, everything's great. And it feels really good and I'm so grateful. And then there's another layer. And then there's something else that I didn't even see coming that gets healed or changes for me in my life. And just exceptionally grateful.
(21:54): I don't know if you guys have heard the story yet, but like, I, I come from a faith background and had 30, some odd years of Christian ministry. And, um, and I was like, I just don't know, you know, if I should do this or not. And I asked some people to pray about it. And I really felt like God, over the course of the weekend, Bob was like, well, let's just talk on Monday. You know, you don't have to, you don't have to come, you don't have to do this. And as I was praying about it, I felt like I had this idea, like if I had a certain type of cancer, would I go to a Muslim doctor or would I go to someone without faith? Or would I go to a Presbyterian or whatever, you know, just fill in the blank. And I was like, heck yeah, like I'd be at the door knocking, like, because I wanted a better life, you know? And, um, and so when I talked to Bob, I kind of apologized for my arrogance and like, I was just like ready. Absolutely. And at some point I was talking with a client and it occurred to me. I was like, how do you eat to take care of your body? Oh, sh I, I eat really healthy. I I'm really careful about what I eat. Cool. And do you move your body? Do you get your heart rate up? Are you physically active? She's like, yeah, yeah, absolutely. This is not different. It isn't different is working with what's here in a way that really is supportive for the entire system. And I just can't see how that's wrong.
(23:17): As you're talking about it, I I'm, it just occurs to me. I mean, having grown up in the church that there aren't conversations about the body. I mean, you hear scriptures about it, but like how to live in your body and how to handle their body. And, you know, one of the things is obesity, but that's like the completely acceptable sin in the church. Like, like we don't take care of our body. And so to be somewhere where I could get a, an opportunity for someone to teach me how to live in my own body was just such a gift. You know? And, and for me personally, on a, on a, on a spiritual level, like we used to talk about turbos underlying really big obstacle. And, and one of the turbos that I brought to the retreat was feeling like God somehow enjoyed my punishment or my torture. And I knew philosophically that that wasn't correct, but I hadn't resolved it. And there was no conversation about it. You know, Bob asked to bring one of our turbos to an exercise and that's one I chose. I never said anything about it to anybody, but by the end of it, I just knew that everything was alright and everything was okay. Um, curious about you guys, did Jonathan or Tucker, anything that you'd like to say about that?
(24:28): I just wanted to take a moment to also say that this has been each of our own unique experiences, just on a personal level. There's this spiritual component here for me as well, but the beauty of this work, whether it's a Muslim doctor Presbyterian doctor in the treatment that we go at, we're not trying to project this onto you as a listener. There's no persuasion that's needed here. It's your experience that matters within this. That's the beauty of what has been here for each one of us. So I was probably more distracted by that thought than anything as you were talking of, just how your experience has been so cool to watch Lee and your experience has been so different. Amber, and for me, just being very different in background from the two of you and Tucker, just being with Bob for a really long time, like that has been, the beauty of being with this company is just seeing each individual go through their own experience and it not being the right way that we've had to go about things. And instead each client we've worked with each individual that we've gotten the privilege to see transform at our events. It's been their experience. That's moved the lever.
(25:42): Can I say one really cheese ball thing? Yeah. Okay. So , whenever Bob says, you know, this isn't for everybody, not, not everybody is gonna choose this and that's okay. There's, there's a bunch of different ways, you know, and my brain wants to kind of argue because , I know what's here for everybody. So I often say this might not be for everyone, but there is something here for everyone. like, maybe not everybody chooses it. And yet there's something here. Yeah. So my experience with that and with faith and spirituality and stuff has been, it's been a long journey over the last four years. And I would say that my faith and spirituality has transformed, not completely, cuz it's still changing and still evolving every day. My relationship to God and my view of God has, has changed dramatically since the beginning and as has my relationship with my family, my wife and my kids, and all of that as a, a culmination of what I've experienced from what I've learned, but how I've applied it specifically to my own life. And I think that is what's beautiful is independent of background, academic or professional, uh, independent of religious belief or faith practice. There's something here for everyone. And so when I've had conversations with individuals that are like, where is God in this? My response has always been wherever you want him to be, whatever that looks like for you, bring him along.
(27:12): And that has been powerful for me because as my idea and view of God has changed and evolved over time. And as I'm very much in a space right now of like wondering what those beliefs are and how that exists inside of my life, I feel like I've had the space to really explore that in a way where it was pressure off where so much of my life, like I felt like I have to believe a certain way. I have to live up to a certain expectation. This is right, this is wrong. This is the way it has to be kind of this black and white mentality. And, and going through this process, working with Bob and the team, working with the clients that I've been able to work with has really created this space of possibility and potential kind of this middle ground where it's not one or the other, it's just in between.
(27:59): And as uncomfortable as that has been at times, I will completely be honest that having questions around faith and spirituality can be uncomfortable and it has been at times, but it's also opened up this beautiful relationship inside of my marriage in the way that my wife and I communicate the way we raise our kids, how we view life and, and what's possible. And so not to drive the whole conversation around spirituality into the ground, but just really as a space, like it doesn't matter where you're coming from or what direction you're headed. Some belief, no belief fully devoted. It doesn't matter because what exists here is built around the idea that you have in mind in a body. And unless you've found the secret to how you're keeping yourself alive. Um, I know I haven't, there's something internally beating my heart and putting air in my lungs. I don't, I don't know what's happening there, but I do know that that in and of itself for me is a miracle miracle. It's a beautiful part of life. And even though I don't understand that, and even though my ideas, uh, around that may have changed over time, that there's still so much to be had so much to be experience regardless of what your background is or where you're coming from.
(29:14): Thanks for all that. And I, I would say that for me, the question, because my questions have been kind of, uh, overlapped with many of what you guys have said and I've contributed my part of that. But like my question, one of the other questions I had was just financial. Like I, as I came into the retreat, I was like, can I afford this? You know? And, and I would say, and I was in a fortunate position. I just refinanced my home and it's not like it's that expensive. Like I didn't have to take out a mortgage to do it. You know, like it wasn't the $45,000 or whatever that Tucker spoke about with the rehab program he was looking at. But, it was enough that I was like, um, I mean, I could put it on the credit card and it wouldn't be too bad or whatever, but is this, that's the good amount of money for me. And on the other side of the retreat, I would've gladly, and I've said this over and over. I would've gladly paid 10 times over for the amount of life and happiness and joy, what I've been able to receive from other people. There, there is just no price tag on it. Um, wondering what your guys' take on that is
(30:16): One of the coolest experiences I had was watching a 20 year old kid just sell his bike, sell his Xbox live in Hawaii. So it's an even pricier flight to get over to the mainland. And it wasn't because of us. It was because he was ready and that I have seen as a consistent threat for anybody that's truly ready to go and jump into this. And I think that is Uly in that moment contemplating, can I do this is put us aside, put our method, put Bob aside, put any other thing that you're considering aside, are you ready to show up for yourself? That is one of the coolest pieces that I've seen. And then if you are ready, you get to anticipate, okay, how am I gonna do this? And the how becomes a little bit easier. It still sucks to pay bills. It still sucks to move money around and really figure out nobody wants to think about dollar bills. I definitely don't. And it's not something we wanna have to figure out with you, except that we're here to support you, whatever that looks like. And so what I get excited about in this conversation is it doesn't matter how great our stuff is. It's just, are you wanting to use us as the lever to really get to where you're trying to go? That's what I get excited about with the financial component of everything.
(31:46): Amber, how much would you say, like, would you say half a million dollars, a million dollars? How much , I mean, like what, what would you say? I mean, honestly, in the journey over 10, over 13 years. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Probably 250,000, 300,000, probably somewhere in that ballpark, You know, even as you say that, I'm like, well, it, it's not dealing with, it's costing you something it's costing your family, it's costing your joy, you know, whatever that looks like. And, and just, what is that worth to you? And I would've done just about anything. Yeah. It's actually costing you your nonrenewable resource. Right. it's costing you time. And so, yeah. So that's great. Well, thanks guys. We just thought we, these are, these were some of our questions coming into our experience at freedom. So we thought, uh, for you to hear from us would be great. And so thanks for, uh, participating in the brand new, new, and improved, alive and free podcast. Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week
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