It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.6]
Bob: All right, folks, welcome back to the Alive and Free podcast. I want to talk to you today about something that scares a lot of people in fact. Although it, somehow in some surveys ranks second on the most fear or the biggest fear that people have, the first being speaking in public. Death would be something that most people have some level of hesitation trepidation of, and they certainly don't want in their life. Despite the fact that they live their lives practicing for death, have you walked around the streets recently watching people's long faces. Can you imagine them even today when somebody is freaking out, they're practicing like the light, a living death, and they don't do things and they get their bodies stiff and all of these different things happen, it's like, they're practicing for death. Let me give you a hint, you don't have to practice for it no matter how it happens, where it happens, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. So don't worry about that. What would need to be practiced is living. [01:26.4]
And one way to live well is recognizing that death is a part of life. Now this is something I've struggled with from time to time. I know many people have struggled with it. I have a hard time killing an insect. Yes, that's right, I go around fighting Russian, X Russian operatives, but I have a hard time killing an insect. Sometimes fishing, hunting, all of those things. When I was a 14-year-old boy, maybe I was a little younger than that. My uncle had gotten me a BB gun for Christmas, and then one summer my mom was furious about it. But then one summer we went up and we met with the family for our family reunion in Brian Head, Utah. We'd gotten one of their condominium apartment, whatever, and we're staying there. And my cousin and I went outside one afternoon with our BB guns to practice. Well, we shot enough of the cans and we were bored. So, we thought, Hey, let's go out into the bushes and let's find, let's see if we can find something to shoot at. [02:20.4]
So, we get out there and we roust out this little bird that starts running between the things. So finally, one of us gets it, I don't know which one got it. And it sat there just sort of chirping. And we realized it was a baby bird, it couldn't fly yet. And that's why it was staying low. I immediately felt horrible and my cousin was like, well, there's nothing we could do. And so, I looked at it and I just remembered being told, I don't even know if it's true that a mama bird would never come back for a baby bird and there it was wounded and everything else. And so I thought, I don't want it to just sit here and suffer. So, I sat there and I pumped up my BB gun, like 20 different times. And I put it to the bird's head and I had to put it out of its misery. [02:58.0]
Ever since then I can shoot guns, but I'm not really a particular fan of guns. Ever since then, I been really sensitive to the death of anything because of the amount of suffering in it. And so, for me to confront the idea that I'm going to die someday, when you're young, you don't think this. You're not going to die, that's for old people. But actually, confronting the ephemeral and fleeting nature of life is one very valuable thing to do to make sure that every moment becomes something that is worthwhile. There was a story told in World War II of a young lady who she was of a Jewish family. Her parents had been taken off somewhere, mom, one way dad, another way and she and her little brother, she was like 13. Her brother was like nine. And they had been also taken to go be sent to some concentration camp somewhere. So, they're sitting there, they were playing at the train station. You know, kids are kids they're playing around at the train station. And because they're playing at the train station, the little boy kind of loses track of time. So, they call them all to get on the train. And as they're on the train that the little boy goes to his sister and he tells her, oh no, I forgot my shoes. [04:05.4]
And she's absolutely upset with him. She's telling him, how could you forget your shoes? I'm dealing with all of these different things. We don't know where mom and dad are. We don't know where we're going or anything like that. None of the Jews knew where they were going at the time. And so, she was sitting there and then you go on and you leave these shoes. And she harangued him, she may be pulled on his ear. She really accosted him in some ways. And then still upset whatever, there came a point where they had to part ways. And at the next station, they separated the boys like her brother and her into two different camps. And then she never saw him again. At the end of the war, she finishes and she comes back out. She, all of her family had disappeared. She was the only survivor. And she realized and regretted so much, the fact that the last words that she had said to her brother were words of accusation, words of harshness, words of anger and frustration, and that she hadn't treated him like a human being. [05:02.3]
And so, from that moment forward, she decided that whoever she spoke with whatever it was that needed to be said, that she would always treat it as if this was the last time, she was going to see that person. And that changed so much of her life. Just that little decision, because she recognized the fleeting nature of life and how quickly death could come upon her. Now, I may have told this story before on the podcast, but I think it bears repeating because it came up in conversation recently. There's an old Zen story of a man who's out somewhere. Now, I don't know where this story comes from. India, China, Japan. One of these places depends on where it came from because Zen is a tradition that came from Buddhism, came through China first. [05:45.0]
But is a story of a man who's out in the wild wandering along and all of a sudden, he sees a tiger behind him and the tiger is stalking him. So, the man frightened starts trucking it. He's heading off a direction until he realizes at the end of this direction, there's a ravine, there's a cliff, there's something that's separating him from the other side. He turns around, where's no way that he's going to be able to make it around the tiger. So, he starts climbing down the cliff as he starts climbing down the cliff, the tiger up top, lurking up top, just waiting for him looking for a way to get down. He's thinking, yes, I've got it. And then he looks down and he sees it at the bottom of the ravine is another tiger that the two had been working either in tandem or separately we don't know. But here he was caught literally between a tiger and a tiger. Death on one side, death on the other. And in the middle of it, he sat there hanging for quite some time, not sure which way to go. On a sudden, as he sat there hanging not sure what to do, he looked off to the side and he saw a strawberry plant just growing out of the side of the cliff, growing out of the side of the ravine. And he looked over at it and he saw that there were berries on it, riped Berries. And as his hands started slipping off the thing he thought, what the heck I might as well enjoy one last Berry. And so, he reached over and he grabbed the Berry and right as he did it, the thing snapped and he fell and he put the Berry in his mouth on his way down. And my what a wonderful tasting strawberry, it was. There ends the story. [07:11.4]
In each of these cases, what we're dealing with is a being that is caught in a predicament between non-existence and non-existence. In other words, between birth and death is a person. And in the middle of it, they can sit and they can worry and they can fret, or they can embrace the fact that it's coming either way and enjoy what is in front of them. So, what I would suggest to you today, as we're looking at this thing called death, is to really, really look at the fact that everything is fleeting. That your life, as you know, it is going to pass even this moment, as you know, it is going to pass it, doesn't come back around. And the only thing you can do is embrace that fact and start to treat this life differently. [07:57.7]
My neighbor came over one time about a month ago, month and a half ago was telling me about a friend of his, they were family, friends, and they had gone out just like on a normal date to the beach or whatever. And they were playing, and some of the waves, and two of his sons had gotten pulled in the undertow. So, the dad went out to go save them. And in the process, this is a place that they'd been many, many times. In the process, he saved the two sons, but then the dad drowned in the process and died. And my neighbor had just gone down to their funeral. And he was so shocked and so saddened by the fact that this man who was, you know, same age in his early forties, or maybe late thirties had his life, had ended so abruptly. And that conversation made me pause to consider just how much we sit here and lament an early life, like a life that goes quickly. But while we're alive, we don't lament the ways that we're wasting this life at all. We don't. [08:54.8]
In fact, we run away from so often anything that would cause us to live more, fully, more freely. We say, we want to live fully alive, but so often whenever there's any worry about it, any fear of it, any hesitation about what it might be or our reputation or our worries about saving for the future. And what if there's some risk involved in so many things, we run away from it. Most of the time, you and I, our lives are not in danger. And yet we treat so many things as if it is. And as a result, we practice dying. We practice running away from life. And that's the exact opposite of every other form of life in the cosmos that I'm aware of. Even the sun itself, is it shining at a 100% or 98% or 10%? It's a 100%. It's a 100% on doing everything that it's doing. There's not a moment where the sun is sitting there going, you know what? There's a black hole in the vicinity. I don't want to get sucked up. I'm going to just shine a little bit less. Because the moment it did that life on this planet would suffer. We might still be in the orbit of the sun, but because the sun decided to dim and live a half-life, then everything on the planet would suffer. This planet is powered by the sun. It's orbit, it's times and seasons photosynthesis, even our respiration is powered by the sun. All the things that we're doing here in some way, shape or form are powered by the sun. Even the Moonlight is the sunlight. [10:19.3]
And if it decided to live a half-life life around, it would die. Only by the sun shining all the way shining and darkness, by the way, only by being all the way on does life around it, spring forth. And I might submit to you that the same thing can happen to you in your life. I know it's scary. I know looking at risk and future plans and all the things and everybody telling you how dangerous everything is, can feel like a big thing to overcome, but consider the alternative. Are you really content to continue living your life, somewhat dissatisfied? To living your life as Thoreau described that the massive men lead lives of quiet desperation. I think that's what he said. Are you really content to not live all the way? Cause you don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow. Every night, a quarter of a million people or more die. You wake up. That's something to be excited about. You woke up today, but how many people are not excited that they woke up? Furthermore, are all of your relatives alive? Did they die last night? Many of them, if not, all of them are still alive. That's also something to be excited for. It happened again. You got one more day and yet how many people are not excited to face another day. They live their lives, trying to shut themselves down, trying to turn themselves off, trying to numb themselves out because they don't know the glory of life. Why don't they know the glory of life? Because they have practiced living in suffering, not in joy. [11:55.2]
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [12:23.0]
So much of our upbringing, yours and mine has been around the idea that you have to work hard and you have to suffer and you have to, you have to grin and bear it and no pain, no gain and all of these things. And so, we've conditioned ourselves to sit there and just accept that the world is this big thorn in our side. Some trials, some tribulations, some affliction waiting to happen. And that's just what life is. Well, that's not something worth waking up for. Furthermore, what evidence do you have that that's the case. I would submit to you that everything that you can point to that is an affliction for you. And let's leave physical ailments aside for the time being. Everything that you can point to that is an affliction for you is made up in your own mind. Cycle, now, now physical ailments, there's the physical affliction, there's pain or discomfort in the body, but there's the mental affliction around it. Oh, no, I have this. And that means I can't do this. And I can't do that. And there's all the suffering around it. And most of that, most of the suffering, even have a physical ailment is entirely mental and psychological. This is why people can be on their deathbed in incredible amounts of pain and still experiencing heightened levels of joy and love. [13:34.2]
If you've read the book Tuesdays with Morrie, wow, that's a powerful book about a guy on his deathbed, imparting incredible wisdom while also being taken care of and loving people and loving life because he recognizes like it's fragile and it's not going to be here that long. It is an awareness of, and a willingness to embrace the fact that death is coming. So, I just have to accept that. And then continuing to live with that embrace. That is where really life is. Can you imagine what would happen if you never died? I mean, imagine all the people on the planet that we would have to feed. Imagine would, even if there were no more people that were being born and you just lived forever, how long would it take for you to get bored of your life? That's because of the way that you're living, that has nothing to do with life itself. So, I want you to consider something. [14:26.0]
Now, when I was young in Sunday school, we had a scripture that we often read saying, you know, be aware of people that are saying, eat, drink, and be married for tomorrow we die. Because those people are going to drag you down to hell in some kind of hedonistic pursued where you're busy out raping women and doing drugs and all of the other things that are associated with that type of lifestyle. That people who say, that are people that are trying to absolve themselves of all responsibility and just do whatever the heck they want. What's fascinating to me about that is that that very same advice Eat, Frink, and be Merry for tomorrow we die is advice that is very sound advice for life. Now hear me out before you think that I'm the devil though there are many people that do so maybe that's healthy for you. I don't know. But think about it. [15:22.1]
What is going to be the greatest contributing factor to your wellbeing and your ability to experience the joys of what life has to offer? Well, your health. And if you eat well, eat intelligently, your gut health automatically improves your cognitive function. It improves your ability to sense and perceive. It gives you energy and the capacity to go out and do things that this life has to offer. If you eat poorly. Well, yeah, sure, you'll have experiences eating poorly, but slowly, slowly, you drain yourself of energy. You drain yourself of life and you build up toxins and other things inside the system that make it so that your ability to live on a heightened level is greatly decreased. So, I would give you 100% the injunction to eat. [16:14.5]
Now drink. Obviously, a lot of people think that this refers only to alcohol, but consider it. If you don't drink, life comes from water. If there's no water on the planet, no life exists. If we just desiccate everything, it crumbles into powder. It can't even hold its form. It's because of water that this entire planet is held together. Water on the surface of the earth water falling from the sky is water along in the oceans, water below the crust of the earth, vast oceans of water below the crust of the earth, bigger than any of the oceans on top, huge oceans and then rocks, slurry and ice down at the core of the earth. There's so much water. And that's the reason the earth is being held together. Rocks grow out of water. If you've ever done rock candy, or you put like sugar and water and then put a string on it. And then just because of a certain amount of pressure and a certain temperature in the air and the minerals in the water, then the sugar kind of crystallizes onto the string. And then it forms rock candy. Well, that happens at a certain atmospheric pressure and a certain temperature and so on. But if you put it in different areas with different minerals or bacteria in it, you'll get different colored rocks, rocks grow out of water. [17:26.6]
If you don't have water, you die. Water is the basis of life. It's the thing that holds life together. It's why it's such a metaphor in scriptural texts as Jesus being like the fountain of life and the stream of living waters and all of these other things, it's very, very essential for life. So, I would say drink. Now, yeah, you could drink alcohol. And if you do that, you're introducing certain things into the system that may or may not be the healthiest thing for you. And as you continue to imbibe that way, sure it might alleviate some inhibitions. It might give you some great experiences and find a way for you to wind down, but it starts to interrupt sleep. It starts to create liver damage and other types of problems. And for all of the positive benefits of it, most of the time, unless you're using it as a, some kind of medicine, it isn't healthy for the system. But water, good fruit juices, things of those natures, of that nature drink, drink, because it will enhance your ability to live life to the fullest. Think about it. A lot of people are living in chronic dehydration, just adding water to their life and enables them to sleep better. Sleeping better means they wake up more rested, waking up more rested means they're less reactive to things because their body chemistry is on a better space just from drinking. So, I would say to you drink, drink water. [18:53.8]
And the third one be merry. It is amply attested by now in medical research and other research all over the planet, that happiness as a state of being is more conducive to optimal function of your body than any other thing. If you're living in states of happiness and wellbeing and compassion and ecstasy and gratitude, and all of those things, your body as designed by the creator as it is. And as it now stands on the planet functions on the fuel of happiness. If you are not happy, guess what? You’re dying faster, you're dying faster. To the extent that you continue to tolerate unhappiness in any form in your life or unhappiness in any form is the beginning of sickness, illness, suffering, and death. It starts with unhappiness most of the time. And when you are doing that look, anger, they've found in some research that just anger, the more you are prone to anger, the more likely are you, you are to have heart disease. You're more likely you are to have a heart attack and to have any kinds of problems with the heart itself, right? This is just from anger. [20:05.8]
If you're dealing with other types of emotions like depression and the, and the postural problems that come with depression and the chemistry that comes with it, each of them start to shut down different internal organs. If you are continuing to entertain the notion that life is an affliction, you will live as if it's an affliction and guess what your body will produce that. And that means you will die quicker. Now, I wish that there were a hard and fast rule that like, oh yeah, well, if you do these things and you'll die, you'll die faster. But then there's people who have drunk alcohol into their hundreds and smoking cigarettes and nothing else, cause there's a lot of factors at play. But in general, happiness, even if it doesn't extend the length of your life improves the of your life. [20:47.9]
And here's the crazy thing about happiness. The happier you are, the faster time goes. Yeah, you might live longer in terms of years or minutes, but your experience of those minutes’ flies by. You know, this, if you've ever had to go to the bathroom, when there's somebody in there, man, a minute is like an hour and a half, especially if you can't hear any movement on the other side of the door. But when you're having, when you're totally content things fly by really quickly. So, if we took that whole thing together and we looked at it, you would end up with eat well, drink water, and be merry. And when you do that, it will seem like just tomorrow, you're already at your deathbed and you will have lived a really good life. So, eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die. Not in the heat in mystic sense, not in any sense like that, not in the way of throwing away your life, but because that is the way to nourish your life so that you get the most out of it as fleeting as it is. [21:51.0]
There are people and cultures who refuse to even talk about death for fear, that it will somehow enter the home. Guess what you've been dying since you were born. Death is a process that began at birth and will finish when it's, when you're done. And the question is, you're hanging between a tiger above and a tiger below. Will you eat the strawberry or will you panic and eventually fall to your death anyway? I'm concerned about the quality of your life and everyone else's life. My biggest thing for everyone is to help them finally experience a way to live happily and freely, no matter what's going on around them. To taste the sweet nectar of life, not the hedonistic, necessarily pleasures of the wantonness and frivolity and all that other stuff. That's not what I'm referring to. None of that is real true joy. True joy is deep within, and you will never be able to access it if you're busy, starving for food, if you're busy, dehydrated and uncomfortable in your body. And if you're miserable. Only miserable, people want to know what the point of this life is, what the purpose of life is. Somebody who's ecstatically happy. Isn't wondering around like, oh, why am I here? They're running around going this is amazing. That's the kind of life to live. And in order to live that life, you're going to need to eat well and drink plenty of water and be merry, because that's the only way to nourish yourself in such a way that you can taste the deep nectar of what this life has to offer. [23:27.3]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [23:45.3]
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