It's time to rip the cover off what really works to ditch addiction, depression, anger, anxiety, and all other kinds of human suffering. No, not sobriety. We're talking the F-word here: Freedom. We'll share, straight from the trenches, what we have learned from leaving our own addictions behind, and coaching hundreds of others to do the same—and since it's such a heavy topic, we might as well have a good time while we're at it. [00:27.6]
Bob: All right, friends, welcome back to the Alive and Free Podcast. Today we're going to tackle a juicy, juicy topic. It's a question that I get a lot and that I've gotten a lot since the beginning, as I started doing the work that I do to help people with all kinds of stuff, not, not just the deep dark kind of depression, anxiety, addiction stuff, but also even people who are stuck in some other places in life as we've coached businesses and other people as well, helping them release some of these deeper, darker, harder things in their life. And the question kind of comes on the heels of one of the events we just ran and I wanted to address that as well. [01:09.3]
You see, we run these four-person retreats for the men, we call it ‘Unshackled,’ for the women we've called it ‘The New Leaf.’ And it's four days, they get some prep work in advance so that we can get there and hit the ground running. Then we go through four intense days where myself and the other experts that I have there Britt Lefkoe and Chris Melodista to otherwise known as the modern monk. They come each of them with their own expertise, and we're taking them through deliberate experiences that are helping them understand the way that their mind actually works in creating root issues. And we'll talk about that in an upcoming episode, just so you know. And then helps them understand how the breath works in terms of what are the things that it can do, how it's functioning inside the body, how movement and body tensions work to help release of psychological problems and so on and so forth. And so we've combined all of these step by step through a series of experiences that help them dissipate decades of trauma, like let go of past senses of self and identity to completely let go of old belief systems. [02:10.8]
Now I'm not talking about religious beliefs, I mean like beliefs about themselves. And then also to like let go of trauma in their bodies and in their systems really in a very short amount of time. And we've seen people come out of these events who have been like Brad, for instance, if somebody who works with me now, but in the beginning as an early client, and he had been on depression meds for 12 years, he'd been inside of addictive behaviors for 23 years. He had been medicated. He had been like, he had a really rough childhood. There are a lot of things that went on in his life. And he came to our, the very first event that we ever ran where inside of my head, I was like, what if I could just take a few people and over the course of, let's say a few days completely let go of all that stuff so that they can go back into their life and just start from there, fresh! Get a reboot. They don't lose any of the wisdom, but they don't have to sit there and go like, well, it's been 20 years. It's going to take me another 20 years to get out. Or it took a long time to get here. So it's probably gonna take a long time to get out. And that's not the case at all. [03:11.9]
And so he came and literally, and he didn't tell me this at the time, or I wouldn't have recommended it just cause I'm not a doctor, I don't prescribe stuff. But literally at, during the course of that event, he stopped taking his depression, medications. He went home. He never needed them again. He's been happier than he, than he'd ever been in as far back as he can remember. You know, he remembers sometimes as a kid where he was super happy and then a vast, expansive, a few decades where that wasn't the case, and his whole life turned around just in the case of just in the space of those few days. [03:42.1]
Now this is a habit with everybody, some people that happens right then and there in this spot and other people, it takes a couple of months for everything to integrate, which is fine. Merlin, he was another one who came recently. He came a year ago and then he also came again back again, cause he's like, Oh dude, my life changed so dramatically the first time, there's another piece that I want to work on and he came back and really just radically altered so many different things for him. His whole life turned around all this, he had physical, chronic pain that just vanished right there at the event. He had a lot of emotional pain, other types of things he was struggling with on the inside and all of that stuff just disappeared rapidly right there in going through these processes. And so we've had this happen over and over again. And then we get home and usually within a few, a couple of days or weeks, a lot of the people that we work with, a lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them have some deep, strong religious background and a deep, strong religious route. And the question that they have is where does God fit into all of this? Because inside the event, we'll bring up religion or we'll bring up God, if somebody is bringing up that question and they have something that they want to talk about in that regard. [04:46.7]
But really everything that I learned how to do is very deeply practical. How does the mind work? How does the body work? How does movement work? How does the breath work? How do those interact interact in such a way that can produce a life that is happy and healthy and clean. But these people come having grown up, being taught and indoctrinated. And I'm not saying this is necessarily good or bad, but this is what's happened them that the only true happiness can come through Jesus Christ or through God or through religion or through something else like that. And so they get home and they're like, I've had these amazing changes in my life, but we didn't mention that Jesus or we didn't mention God in it. I'm just breathing. Or I'm just doing this other kind of exercise that they've taught me how to do, but we didn't mention it. So like, is this of the devil? Is there something wrong with this? And so then the question comes, where is God in all of this? And we get the same question inside of like on our advertisements. People will come in on our advertisements or on posts that I make online where there'll be like, look, this is of the devil, you know, you guys are not doing it. You just need to rely on Jesus and that's the only thing. [05:45.9]
And I'm not, I'm not saying that it's bad to believe that or not, right. What's happening is that they're looking at some, small segment of what we do and making a bunch of assumptions because it doesn't match way that they've been taught or the way that they believe healing is supposed to come. Now, if you haven't listened to the previous episode on healing called Why "Healing" Won't Free You or Why focusing on Healing, Won't Free You. That's a previous episode from a while back several months ago. And so you might want to go check that one out where we talk a little bit specifically about what healing is. But in this case, really the conversation is around, Well, if I don't use the name of God or we're not using the name of Jesus, and we're not like reading scripture or we're not praying in the ways that I'm used to in church, then this is probably pagan, it's of the devil, its leading us astray. It'll never work in the end, because it doesn't match the prescribed notions that we have. [06:36.0]
And I've heard this about 12 step programs or they're like, well, if you're not doing a 12 step way, then it's never going to work to which my response would be Cool! Before 1900, 12 steps didn't really get instituted at large until like 1944 or something. But before 1900, how did people get free? Did nobody get free before 12 steps were invented? How much has religion changed over the years? I mean, we use digital technology now, is that of the devil? Is it not of the devil? Because it can't from a scientific inquiry instead of a revelation, so to speak. There's a lot of questions that we could like pinpoint as we move back. But there's a couple of key points that I want to open up for you guys so that if you guys listening are looking for some help in your life, if you're looking for, and maybe you're not dealing with mental health issues, maybe you're just looking for help in a, in a business setting or maybe you're looking for help with learning a new hobby or some educational things or whatever else it is. If you have some ideas in your head about the way it's supposed to show up, then anything that does match that is going to cause an alarm bell to go off in your head and make you feel like, or worry that it's not going to work. [07:40.0]
And that worry that it's not going to work is actually detrimental to the process, has nothing to do with whether or not it's effective and everything to do with whether or not you'll be able to use it long-term and whether or not it will last. And that doesn't mean that everything out there on the planet is effective. We're just talking about, you know, if assuming it is effective, your worry about it will actually make it less effective. So as I've talked with Tucker about this, Tucker is my business partner. He coaches with me with these guys, he was an early client and an incredible human being and really good at what he does. He and I were going back and forth talking about this and his take on it was very different than mine, but I think it's worth mentioning here. People will ask him this question and he has conversation after conversation with some of our clients and stuff who are asking this question, like Well, we didn't say Jesus where we didn't say God and this way, so where is God in this and his response is almost always the same. Where do you want him to be? You see most of the time, we're assuming, well, if it's not mentioned, then he's not there, but Tucker’s responses like where do you want him to be? You're the one that gets through the side. No one came in here and said, in order to participate in this training; you must disavow all belief in God or disavow all of your faith and your standards and everything else and accept everything we teach you as the one and only whole truth, not the case at all. [08:50.4]
What I've learned is there are certain ways that the mind and body work. And in the end, if you practice them amazing things happen and if they don't work for you, go do something that does work for you. What we do is necessarily not necessarily the best thing for all people. I don't, I could never say that because I haven't worked with all people. So like I can only make a claim as far as its effectiveness with the people we've worked at, and it seems to be pretty amazing. But we've come in and there's no, there's no declaration that you have to give up your standards or your beliefs about life, the universe, and everything in order to be able to benefit from a program, that's teaching you how your mind works, how your body works and everything else. [09:28.1]
But see, the thing is, we've been so trained to trust authority figures and authority figures in your life and authority figures in my life have stepped in and they've said, this is the way that God works. And in, so doing, we've created this idea in our head that that's the only way that God works. So Brad, who I mentioned earlier, he's like, cool, God's gonna heal you. Great! So if you break your arm, are you going to wait for God to come and fix it? Or you going to go to the doctor? And the doctor isn't necessarily sitting there and praying over it, whether they're atheist or not, they're still gonna set the bone. They're still going to do some things to put your arm in a space where the healing can happen, right? In the same vein, are you going to neglect or let go of help that doesn't match the idea or the picture that you have in your head about it. [10:13.1]
So Brad will tell people, look, there's so many things in the world that we go and we want help. And we're okay getting outside help, outside of religious help for all kinds of stuff, bone breaks, viruses, vaccines. You know, if we need help with, with illness in that way, we'll go to therapists for certain things, we'll go to counselors for certain things, we'll go to teachers to learn about the world and whatnot. And so that's education. We will go to coaches for sports help. Like we'll, we'll get help from people in all kinds of different arenas, but for some reason, certain things that feel very, very intimate and very, very close to home and deal predominantly with the way that you see yourself in the world, they feel like, well, no, there has to be, God has to be involved in a very overt way. And so instead of like listening to that authority figure, who says, and assuming that that means this is the only way, what if you're listened to that authority figure? And so they're like, cool, God works in those ways too. I wonder how he's working here? And where do you want him in your healing process? [11:11.7]
If you want God in your healing process, what have you invited him in or her? If it's a her for you. What have you prayed more? What have you incorporated that into the process, right? There's nothing that we're teaching anyway that says, no, you must give up all of that. But too often, the assumption jumps straight to, Oh well, if they don't say God, and clearly God's not involved. If they're not quoting scripture, then clearly it's not a doctrinal paradigm. And I know a lot of you aren't aren't that extreme, but that kind of feeling if you ever feel like, Oh no, what if this is going to affect my faith, just look more clearly at it and learn to see what's there. [11:45.0]
If you or someone you know is looking to drop the F-bomb of “Freedom” in their life, whether that's from past trauma, depression, anxiety, addiction, or any other host of emotional and personal struggles, but they just don't know how or wants some help doing it. Head on over to thefreedomspecialist.com/feelbetternow and check out some of the things we've got in store for you or book a call so we can look at your unique situation and get you the help that you're looking for. [12:13.3]
So Tucker's response is, Well, where do you want God? Here's my response where isn't God in this. If you really hold God as the source of all creation, of all the universe, of the sun shining, of the way that grass grows of your heart beating every moment of every day and your lungs breathing, then at what part of us teaching you how to use your breath and use your body and your movement the way it's designed is not including God. In fact, if God really is the designer of the thing you call a body and the thing you call a mind, wouldn't learning to use it the way it's designed to be an honor and a deference to God's creation. Wouldn't paying attention to it and learning how it works, whether you're going to speak about it in religious terms or scientific terms, wouldn't that itself be a hat off to the maker of all this profound, incredible, beautiful stuff on the, on the planet, wouldn't it be? [13:13.1]
In fact, if you look around every breath, you take everything you see, all of that is because God is involved in your life. And you know, he's involved in your life because if there were a moment where he wasn't, you would cease to exist. So if you're going to sit there and ask yourself, well, where is God in this? And where isn't he in this? Consider all the places where God is and then maybe just, maybe you can release the fear a little bit, because the fear is what's blinding you from really seeing what's in front of you. And not being able to see what's in front of you will make it, so that it's a little bit harder to take full advantage of what's there, there may be some devil worshipers on the planet that are out there doing some incredible, incredible different things. And in terms, they're getting great results for people and they worship a devil or something like that. And you may look at what they're doing and it may start to look similar to something you've done in your own church environment, and it might make you freak out and stuff. But the reality is, well, look at what's there, if they're breathing a certain way, they're breathing a certain way, that doesn't mean you have to bring all the other pieces to the puzzle that aren't effective, right? [14:12.4]
The real guiding question that you want to have in your life when you're trying to figure out what to do is what is working. Cause if it's working, that means it's harmonious with creation, that means it's in harmony with the way God created the world. If it isn't working, then it is not so harmonious with creation. And I would say, perhaps the devil is in that, but I wouldn't go so far. What really needs to be a question as simply like, is it working? If it's working for you use it and that doesn't matter whether you're you're you just…Look a long time ago when I was a kid I got into Kung Fu you know, I was like, I got into martial arts when I was like eight. At 16 years old, you know, I started studying Chinese Kung Fu in depth and I was like at it for like 20 hours a week, I was studying, studying, studying, and I go to classes and I would help teach and I would help train other people and I would steep myself in the legends and the lore and all this other stuff. And part of the sort of indoctrination of the Kung Fu world was you had to be vegan because the old monks were vegan, by the way, they weren't. Some of them were some of them weren't, that was just a myth that was propagated. [15:12.8]
Yeah, I was naïve, anyway, you know, some of the other indoctrinations were like, this is the healthiest physical movement in sport that exists on the planet that there's no other physical movement in sport that is as good as Chinese Kung Fu. When you get the Tai Chi involved with all the other external stuff and the calisthenics and the stretching and the meditation and all of this stuff produces the best thing for a human body. And I remember going home and like talking it up to my mom and I convinced my mom to join up. And I think she got her second degree, black belt at a certain point, like she was really in it for a while. I convinced my wife to join up for a little bit, I think she got a Brown belt or something in there for a while. I was just talking to her about it the other day and she was like, yeah, that's the thing I did once. It was kind of weird cause she just did what I was like, push it on her without real awareness, right. And by the way, if, if she's my wife, that means yes, adults can have really dumb ideas or really uninformed ideas that can still be good ideas, but they're not really clearly looked at. [16:14.8]
So you may be in your twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, or whatever. And you may still have some ideas that you haven't looked at it a little bit more clearly. So I was looking at it and I was trying to get my dad to jump into Kung Fu, cause I thought it'd be so cool and he could learn some of the stuff. And then all this time we can do this as a family, it would be a great bonding experience. And then one day I finally pulled myself up short because I realized that if my dad would hate it, he is not on a fan of contact sports in the sense of like punching and kicking and all that other stuff. That type of exercise is in his big thing. He wasn't really interested in the legends and the lore and stuff. His brain is tickled by other types of information and data. And in the long run, he says he loves swimming. And I sat there for a second. I was like, Oh, awesome. So we're going to make my dad do this thing that I think is the best thing in the world. And he's going to be miserable doing it. And in being miserable is going to compromise his immune system and everything else or we can let him be a swimmer and figure out how to put the pieces together for his own life. [17:15.0]
And that ultimately would have made him a happier human being just because he was following what intrinsically brought out the joy in him, which would help him live a better life anyway. So there's a lot of statements in the world about what is the right way and the wrong way to do things. Right way and wrong way to handle addiction, right way and wrong way to handle depression, right way and wrong way to handle anxiety, right way and wrong way to handle finances, right way and wrong way to handle education and growing up, right way and wrong way to parent. And if you look really deeply at it, there is no one way. There are no two people that parent the same way because their children are different. And the only way you're saying they're the same as if you're making an abstract statement, that's very general. But if you look into each life there isn't a right way and wrong way. There's just the way that they're doing. It’s the same with successful people on the planet. There's all these books out there, The 52 laws of irrefutable leadership and the 17 laws of this and the, these all successful people have these six traits and so on. [18:13.4]
But if you really looked at all the six traits and then looked at all the successful people that they are using as a, as a mirror, and you really looked at the details, most of those successful people would not match all of the descriptions that are being made of them. Their life would be different. They might be ones that wake up early in the morning, the routine, except for the times when they don't. They might be the kind of people that do well at night. They might be the kind of people that journal every day. They might be the kind of people that don't. There's a lot of people that are extremely successful financially in terms of health, sports, performance, and everything else. And each life is unique. And what is important about this is that your life is unique and there is no one right way to do it, there is just the way you find to do it. And we put together some powerful tools that help people to do that. That kind of, we talk about it in terms that aren't religious, they're not necessarily scientific or anything like that. I tried to cut out all that stuff and just make it super practical so that it could be accessible to anyone on the planet. [19:13.9]
And for you, if your belief in God is critically important part of your life, then that's gotta be included in the way you do it. And no amount of what we do learning, Oh, your mind, and body and breath, all work to create a powerful feeling of freedom, none of that is at odds with the maker of this universe. It's actually honoring the way it's made. And so there's two messages in this one today, first and foremost, if you want God in your life, where’s Tucker, then Tucker's question is going to be, Well, where do you want him? Why don't you invite him in there? But don't wait for someone else to put him in. If you want God in your life, go put him in there, include him, incorporate him. And don't assume that because somebody doesn't mention him that doesn't mean he's not accessible. The second message is in the end, you simply have to do what works for you and each life is uniquely different, and if you have scriptures, you'll see that. [20:12.4]
So many, like Jesus did not heal all people the same way. Some of them, he put his hands on them. Some of them, he told them their sins were forgiven. Some of them, he didn't even talk to, he just told him to go home. Some of them, you know, like he commanded them to get up and walk. Some of them he put mud in their eyes, right. Some of them, he commanded to just sell all their belongings and come follow him. Like every person was unique for what they needed and you got to find what it is that you need. And God is not so cosmically uncreative, that the only ways that he can work with people are the ways that people can imagine. And so don't put limits on God, instead go find what works, because I guarantee you if it works, especially if it works long-term, guess what? It's probably in harmony with the person or the being that created your body and your mind in the first place. [21:00.7]
All right, next week, we're going to talk about the three brains and hacking the three brains and root issues and how to dissolve them and all that other good stuff. So stay tuned, have a great week. And if you want God in your life this week, go invite him in. If you're not a believer in God and you believe in the universal, that, that greater thing, that's powering all this, that whatever it is, take some time, make it a part of your life on your terms. Alright, see you soon. [21:24.5]
And that's it for todays “Alive and Free Podcast.” If you enjoyed this show and want some more freedom bombs landing in your ear buds, subscribe right now at wherever you get your podcasts from. And, while you're at it, give us a rating and a review. It'll help us keep delivering great stuff to you. Plus, it's just nice to be nice. [21:42.4]
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