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Highlights from this episode include:

  • How to stop chasing random opportunities just to get paid (2:32)
  • The Robert Greene secret to closing more sales (not doing this is costing you clients) (3:12)
  • The completely ethical trick that makes clients convince themselves to hire you (4:56)
  • The 2 crucial questions you must answer to turn your prospects into clients (9:08)
  • The counterintuitive X-factor that strengthens both business and marriage relationships (10:40)
Read Full Transcript

There's two types of people who hear consensual sales in the first go, Oh, Eww, Shawna, that is not what you want to say. There are better words to use and the second type here, consensual sales and say, you know what? You're right. I don't want to talk my way into the sale. I don't want to memorize a script. You just want to work with clients who are excited to work with you. Now that's consensual sales.

All right, I'm happy that you're here and I know that there is nothing worse and wanting to do what you love to work with clients that you are excited about both feeling like those opportunities are few and far in between and that you've got to like randomly chase job openings that you've got a randomly wait and stare at your social media screen for anything that will flutter on by.

00:56 So you can throw your hat into the rig that is crappy because you didn't start your business to just whore out your services. Okay and I want to talk to you about this because there's a couple of really simple shifts that you can make to be fully booked out by choice. And so this is a message that's in my heart, random fact. I have a handful of friends who are documentary style photographers and they have this big international conference every year and invited me to speak at sales and marketing. And as I'm talking to a friend about like what do I say? Like what are, what's my talking to be about? And she said something that really helped me focus in on what that was going to be. So if you could get them in a room, what's the one thing that you would tell them?

01:42 And even though maybe some of you aren't documentary style photographers, this message is for you too. It's absolutely for you and it's that you can be fully booked by choice. Yes, there are things that you can decide that will help you be fully booked by choice without necessarily having to do so much more work. Okay. I don't want you to feel like you have to chase random shit to get paid. Okay. This is about consensual sales is about selling your services to the right people who need them. And that means that like just as much as they need to be a fit for you, you have to be a fit for them. Like this is a two way street and so much of the time we end up compromising on the price. We ended up compromising on the package, we ended up compromising on the process and we ended up resenting the work.

02:40 We hate ourselves a little bit more. And then it's just like we're frustrated with like what we're doing when it should be the thing that lights us up. So where am I going with this? The very first thing that I need you to understand is that if you want to be booked up by choice. So I didn't make this up. Robert Green made this up. He basically said that women, what's the one thing that women hate more than anything? It's men who are too eager. Okay. So in the same way that you're selling, you can't be too eager. Why? Well, one day we hate it, we hate it, but your customer can't chase you. You can't chase you while here, you can only chase what is walking away from you. So do you command a presence that says, you know what, I'm a great choice, but if you don't want it, no big deal.

03:34 Somebody else will. There's a person in line waiting right after you. How different would your sales conversations changed if you actually believe that this was really funny? So there's this guy named Mark, I forget his last name and I wanted help on LinkedIn. I wanted to figure out how to sell on LinkedIn. And I'm having this conversation with him to be totally honest. He's a great person and he's got this great offer, but I didn't need a service. I didn't. And I'm in this conversation with him and he's asking me about who I am and like what I do. And he says at the end of this short little 15 minute call, he's like, I don't understand why you even need this service. Are you a sales coach? Don't you sell? And I was like, I am, but I do need this. I want this.

04:24 I could use your help. And all of a sudden just like that, I was selling myself into his service and after I got off the phone I was like, Hey, that's a thing. Like this is you. Like this is actually a strategy where you can pull back your offer just a little bit and the other person can sell themselves into your offer very, very seamlessly. They'll start convincing themselves why they need your offer and that's what you need. Like don't be afraid to, to pull it back just a little bit to see if they're serious, if they want it, if they need it, if they're going to talk themselves into it. But you've got to be cool, like you gotta play it cool. And if you're just like, Oh, you should buy my stuff. Like you should totally do it. Like if you come across too eager and you can't hold your own, nobody's going to want that because the one thing that people want more than anything are the things that they can't have.

05:18 Okay. So you want to be booked out and you want to be the person who decides if you're booked out. Well, for God's sake, will you please, please stop acting like this person shouldn't buy from you. What happens is when somebody shows sort of a slight interest, you either come across like too eager, which is what you can't do, or you come across just like weak and like a bumbling idiot. And I can't have you do that either. Please don't do that because can you imagine somebody is about to spend a thousand, two thousand three thousand four thousand dollars with you and you're like, Hmm, yeah. I don't know. Whatever you think. Sure. I think that sounds great. What do you think? Does that sound fair? Yeah. I don't know. Like, Whoa. Eh. Ah, hello. Okay. Listen, people will not buy your guests. I can't remember who said this. Some amazing sales expert said that selling is the transfer of a feeling.

06:26 Okay? And you're either instilling confidence that this is a great choice or you're instilling the opposite, which is like confusion and then they're not sure or that maybe they shouldn't buy from you. So I want you to think about that. How are you feeling in the moment? Whatever you are feeling in the moment that is literally being transferred to the other person. Okay? So one thing you could do is you could roll back your shoulders and smile. You could practice your tone. Okay? This is actually a true story. I used to be a telemarketer, don't hate me, but that's what they told us. They're like a smile can be heard over the phone. So before we even said the person's name, we'd have to like smile. Okay, you can do it. One thing that I also like to do is I tend to say thank you a lot in those conversations.

07:17 Thank you for asking. You can collaborate. You can say I want your feedback, but let's talk about that. So it's being clear and direct and you can also be kind. I think who said that? Renee, she's another sales coach. He's a great sales coach but she always says that you can be kind and direct but you can't him and how you can't speak under your breath. That can't be a whisper, can't be fumbling. So maybe you need to practice which is perfectly fine as perfectly fine if you need to practice a little bit, but they will not buy your guests. Okay. The other thing is that you don't have to tell them what they like. Want to hear like you don't have to dramatize your offer and make it super like crazy juicy. It can just be real and honest. Here's a great example if I'm trying to instill confidence but I'm not trying to like sell them the moon and the stars.

08:09 You don't need to sell them the moon and the stars. But what you can say is the most honest thing that you can say, which is, you know what? I can't guarantee your results. If I did, it would literally be just like picking a number out of thin air and saying here, and that's not fair to you. But what I can guarantee is that I will work hard for you and I am absolutely committed to getting you the best results I possibly can. Okay, so you don't have to lie if you're not sure, tell them. Say the most honest thing that you can. Thanks John for that lesson. My good friend John said that once and I thought it was like super profound. He's like, if you don't know what to say, just say the most honest thing that you can. So again, did this doesn't mean you have to have confidence that you have to like fake it, that you have to tell them what they want to hear.

09:00 I don't need you to do that. I don't want you to do that. Okay? Your potential customer is wondering two things before they purchase. They're wondering if your offer is the thing that will solve their problem, if that's the right offer. And they're also wondering if you are the one who can deliver that service. So they're wondering those two things about you just as much as they need to be a fit for you. You need to be a fit for them. It's a crappy feeling like you can't do your best work. It's crappy when you're compromising on the price or the package or the process. Like I don't want you to have to do that. So you want to be fully booked by choice. You have to, you must be a catch and you have to convey that you are a catch and that there has to be a little bit of a chase.

09:49 I read this book in college, I'm a family social science major so I love all things like relationships, relational dynamics and families and stuff and I was reading this book once that basically was talking about like what are the principles that have a strong marriage, right? Like what makes marriage last? And one of them surprisingly was that a man and a woman are courting each other. He has to pursue her in a way that has earned her love and devotion. He has to go through a struggle. He has to work for her. He has to prove himself to her. And so I'm sharing this because if there is a little bit of struggle, if there is a little bit of chase, the more satisfied people are with their relationships. And I think there's something to be said about that in business as well. Well, I mean I guess it's true in life too.

10:40 Like haven't you ever like, do you remember the first thing that you ever bought with your money from your first job? Oh my gosh, I do. I saved up all my money from babysitting and I got a starter jacket from JC Penny's. Oh, it was so good. It was like I still think about that great feeling. So there is something to be said about creating just a little bit of tension. Is there a little bit of chases or a little bit of struggle before somebody purchased from you? The other thing is your customers won't buy your guests, so you have to stop being like a mumbly-fumbly idiot. I'm trying to think like what would be a good way to overcome this. I mean, smile say thank you. Ask a question. Say, can I be honest here and then just say the most honest thing. Okay, you're selling yourself short.

11:26 When you do this, like you're selling yourself short. When you're just chasing jobs and for sales to feel good, you have to win in. Your client has to win and so many times we just think that all lose why my client wins or our family loses while our clients win and both those things are wrong. You can be fully booked by choice, but you've got to make the strategic choices along the way. If you have people who are expressing interest in your service and then you start talking to them and they can't believe like what your price is, there's people out there who don't see your value, who don't understand why you cost so much or what the value is like what they're getting. You don't know how to explain that and this is what I need you to do. You need to listen to the next episode because we are totally going to cover that for you.

12:18 I'm going to cover that for you. Take good care of you. Until next time.

Knock knock. Who's there? Clients are banging on your door, ready to give you money and book your services, but they're asking hard questions like, how much is it? Who are you? How do I know you can help your brain melt? And you feel a lot like a deer in headlights and you've worked way too hard for this opportunity. You cannot let it slip away. So here's what you need to do right now. Text consensual sales. That's one word to five, five, five, eight, eight, eight triple five triple eight and you'll get me? Yup. Who can tell you exactly what to say to book those clients?

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