Have a podcast in 30 days

Without headaches or hassles

Conversations have the power to inspire, engage-and even entertain. From late night talk show hosts to award-winning podcasters, great conversationalists can move an audience to laughter or tears, action or stillness, and always keep the crowd wanting more. And so can you.

Show Highlights:

  • How watching your favorite movie magnetizes your ideal audience (7:23)
  • The single greatest “skill” which transforms you into a great leader (10:10)
  • The communication trap to avoid at all costs while you bridge the gap between the multi-generational workforce  (18:58)
  • How to “thrive” in your professional and personal life (and why it is not a one-size-fits-all magic formula) (30:44)
  • Why helping others who are suffering can instantly bring you out of a dark place and rejuvenate you (33:17)
  • Alternative tricks to avoid burning out (that does not involve meditation or mindfulness) (34:01)
  • How simple conversations lead to life-long, mutually beneficial connections  (38:30)
  • A simple formula for preventing outbursts during heated emotional discussions (42:08)

To learn more about Lou Diamond visit https://www.thriveloud.com

To connect with Duane, Dave, or one of our show guests head over to https://buildernuggets.com and join our active community of like-minded builders and remodelers.

Read Full Transcript

It has nothing to do with what you do. It's how you need to be

Welcome to builder nuggets hosted by Duane Johns and Dave young. Hey, our mission is simple. Build freedom, Where a couple of entrepreneurs turn business coaches who have dedicated ourselves to helping our builder remodel. Our clients create the most rewarding businesses in the Industry. My cohost Dwayne has been a successful builder and remodeler for over 30 years. He's seen the highs and the lows from the beginning though. Dwayne has been on a quest to find a better way to run a contracting business in 2016, he found that better way. That's how I met Dave, a lifelong entrepreneur and visionary who measures his success by the success of those around them. He reached out one day with a formula on how to transform my business. And the rest is history. Since then, we've teamed up to help hundreds of contractors like you build better businesses and better lives. And now we've decided to open up our network and share our secrets so we can start moving the needle with you. It's collaboration over competition. Each week we bring together industry peers and experts who share their stories so that we can all build freedom together. Every meaningful connection begins with a conversation. Conversations, have the power to inspire, engage, and even entertain from late night talk show hosts to award-winning podcasters. Great conversationalists can move an audience to laughter or tears, action or stillness, and always keep the crowd wanting more. And so can you,

(01:25): Our guest today is a world leader on how to engage with your ideal audience. His thrive loud podcast is almost 800 episodes, deep and filled with expert advice and stories on how to thrive. He's a consultant, speaker, podcaster and author of two books. I had the pleasure of appearing on his show and I'm excited to introduce you to a true influencer who can help you to connect, engage, win, and ultimately thrive. Welcome Lou diamond Gentlemen, such a pleasure to be here. The builder nuggets, you guys are more than nuggets. You're like, you're like builder goldmines right now is the way I look at these nuggets almost seems like too small for you guys. Oh Geez. It feels like I'm a much better. Yeah. That, yeah. Great way to kick it off. Thanks man. Yeah, we, we appreciate it. We're we, we we're loving the idea that you're on the show because in our industry, there are so many conversations and hundreds of it takes hundreds of people to, to produce a spectacular result. There's so much communication needed. So we're really looking forward to, uh, diving into that with you and for you to share, you know, the things that you've learned through your own work, but also through the, you know, almost 800 guests that you've had on your show. It's uh, pretty impressive. So are you ready to roll? I'm ready to rock excited to be here too, by the way, big fan of the program, I've been catching up on some episodes of place. Okay, Great.

(02:45): Thanks. I'm not, I'm not current. It's kind of like most of your Netflix shows these days. Like, you know, you know, you don't, don't talk about that episode yet because you know, you haven't gone to it, but that, that's how that's How, yeah. Well, when season one is 52 episodes long, we, we gotta give you a little bit of Lee leeway there. Right. We didn't break up in seasons on our show either a lot. People have hated us for it. So Yeah. So Lou, when I appeared on your show, you took me down fun street with some, uh, rapid fire questions. And I tried to flip the script on you and, and asked about your favorite movie, which you managed to Dodge, but now that I've got you on the hot seat, I think a little fun street would be a great place to start. Are you up for that? I am absolutely ready to rock and roll. Okay. Well, we'll start with the same one that I was asking you before. So favorite movie go, There are so many movies and I, I, you know, you could put them in all different genres from comedies to dramas, to, you know, epic, these big, huge productions from all these superhero movies that we have here. There is one though that always resonates with me. It might be because it might have been one of the earliest movies that I saw. And it also is something that is very appropriate for the word thrive. And it is the movie Rocky.

(03:53): Oh yeah. Uh, And this, by the way, Adrian, it's not all. And it's the whole character of his, and they're obviously all the movies are really good, except for maybe the fifth one. You know, that was not necessarily the best one where they brought the real boxer in and he went back to lost all's money and went to Philly to train him. Uh, yeah, by the fifth one, we were all starting to stay. Okay. Yeah. But when they went back, by the way, when they went to the, the creed movies and then they went to the Rocky B boa movie, which was awesome. Um, when he was like, they basically were trying to relive the, the George Foreman story in real life. But, but Rocky, the speech he makes in that movie, in that Rocky BBO, one that nothing will hit you harder than life, but it's not how hard you get hit.

(04:35): It's getting hit and getting up and keep moving forward. That is what life is, right. Life is tough. And, uh, that, that character is inspiration. Remember in the first movie, he didn't wanna, it wasn't about winning. It was about getting to the end, right? It wasn't about holding the belt up. It was the effort that you put in. And when I think about those that move onward and upward, all those 800, some odd episodes, including yourself, Dave of amazing people that have been thriving that I've had the opportunity to speak with and the leaders that I get to work with and the audiences I speak to when I speak on stage, Rocky is still the, the vision in my head of just what, you know, whether it's the music or the inspiration. It's the one that it doesn't matter when that movie's on or any of those movies are on I'm I'm in until, until the conclusion and those Rocky marathon weeks, you guys know that they do that. Like, you know, they'll play like one through. Yeah. My wife sometimes will kill the power in case, you know, otherwise I'm stuck not getting off the camera. That's my favorite. I get sucked into the godfather the same way. And we talked about this before one and two only. So, you Know, three, three didn't happen. It didn't, it actually didn't happen. That that was you dreamt it. It didn't really exist. Yeah.

(05:38): You just, just leave it that I saw the sequel and it was great then, uh, then, then we're, uh, good there, but interesting that you talk about how much Rocky makes you think of thriving. When you look at Stallone writing that movie himself starring in it as an up and comer, you know, he was able to thrive from pursuing something that he loved and being dedicated to it and look at the career and the impact that he's gone on to have with people. And he is a beloved figure, uh, because of It, I think he won the golden globe for one of those, for that Rocky Balboa movie, not the Oscar. And he won and he wanted for that movie and he got up and said, um, I wanted to thank everybody. And then he got to the end and to the greatest fictional character ever created, cuz it really is an incredible individual that it's you can't, we make fun of him, you know, his, his, his, his whole component. But it just at his heart, that's what we all love. And uh, men and women by the way, have loved this movie, man. Yeah. Hey Lou, are you, are you familiar with, uh, Jeffrey Gier? Oh, very much so. Yes. Yeah.

(06:34): Very much. So Jeffrey I've been on his show cell or die. That was a lot of fun. Yeah. And he's lived, I think he's lived in Charlotte for a mile. Yeah. But he's die hard Philly. He's like, yeah. Die hard Philly from the Northeast. I, I remember one of the first times I'd listened to, um, something that he did. He talked about how so many people, you know, they misconceptions around people from the Northeast, especially that, you know, around New York area. Yeah. And where, where he went with it was that, you know, we're just a matter of fact, people, you know, it's not that we're rude or necessarily says, we're just, we're just a matter of fact, cuz we don't have time to be any other way. Right. And one of the things he talked about was to, he says, you know, lots of places you talk about how to survive, how to survive. He says you have no choice, but to thrive in that environment, you have to get above and beyond the concept of survive and you have to thrive. So anyway, just, I, it popped into my mind when I think about thrive, you know, because it is, it's a whole lot different than survive

(07:23): And I I've always loved the movie and, and it does match up. When I ask the question, Dave, to all the guests, someone ask me why I asked that question. Uh, first of all, cuz I love the movies, but I also think that we connect on similar levels about great movies and great content books. What brings us together? What connects us. And I guess this is perfect for the form of this show. And what connects us in business is these commonalities that we have, we are human. We're not just robots working on stuff. We have relationships in everything that we do in our jobs and our lives. And as we know, there is almost no divide anymore between there's no nine to five work job anymore. There's so much overlap. We unfortunately it feels like it never ends, which is, which is causing a lot of problems in different ways.

(08:06): And we have to balance our lives a little bit better. But with that, just having a conversation about a great movie gets a connection and just having a conversation and listen to a podcast about ways we can improve and you know, do business differently. Uh, I think that finding that human element about the people you work with, the people you are partnered with, the people that employ you and trying to break it through in more than just a business relationship is probably one of the greatest keys in life that we've all learned, but forget sometimes how important that is. And a lot of times we'll, we'll turn on being a professional hat and not necessarily establish the connections that we need to and with our peers, with our bosses, with, and, and, and the, and the work that your listeners deal with, you know, contractors and, and, and difficult homeowners. lots of people that are challenging to deal with knowing how to make the connection through good conversations. And commonalities is a very, very essential thing that could be practiced every single day. And it's an important part to making sure that those businesses and those homes and the, and those projects truly thrive.

(09:22): Yeah. Well, you, you touched on it a little bit here with, with the movies and, and thriving. We take our thrive inspiration from many different things, and it's powerful to, to be inspired by a movie and tie something personal to, you mentioned the personal piece too. You have a personal takeaway from these movies and they motivate you to, to think about how you're going to strive to thrive, which would be a great Netflix show by the way, after this, By the Success of drive to survive. But So was that, was it survive? It was drive to thrive or survive to, I forgot what it was. It was drive. It was amazing on that created so many F1 fans. It's amazing, but it's inspirational. Right? So when we take inspiration from seeing other people thrive, it motivates us to do it there's and then the next level, and I'm sure we'll get into this is what's even more powerful than, than that is being a part of somebody else's thriving and how you create opportunity and opportunities for others to thrive and good leaders do that. Uh, whether it's through the power of conversation, stories, whatever. But, uh, yeah, we'll dig into that for a second, but we're turning fun street into an interstate or a whole neighborhood here , which is something that I was worried I was gonna do to your show. And, and, uh, here,

(10:34): Here, we stayed on track. Here We go. My job is usually to take everybody off into the rhubarb, but okay. Next up. Favorite sport growing up and then now Favorite sport growing up basketball. Um, I playing it and watching it and favorite sport now is golf.

Okay, great. Both Playing and watching it. yeah. Um, I do play, um, I used to play a lot more, uh, work and business and everything got in the way a little bit, but, uh, and maybe it's because I have these ridiculously long arms or, or I hit the ball really far, but I do love the game. Uh, and, and I think I also have the right personality for it. I used to, when I was, I was a hot head when I was a kid like anybody else, but that all got out of it system, but, uh, I still miss playing basketball, the, uh, all the athleticism with it. And, and I could tell you right now, if I hopped outta court right now would not be a very good situation. My cardio would not be as good, but the golf course works out well. Yeah. Less cardio there. Yeah. In the same vein here, what's a sport that you want to try.

(11:36): Well, there's, I've got two, one. I don't know if it's a sport and one and that's and that particular thing, my wife won't let me do I wanna skydive yeah, I don't, I don't think that's a sport, but, uh, one, I wanna try. I never even thought about that, but I think I, is there a sport that I haven't tried is, is really actually the thing. Um, oh, okay. I'll I'll, I'll go with this. I have, I used to play volleyball in, I played volleyball in college and I went to, I, I wanna say this was, it was either in Israel or in some beach in, in Europe. I, I would love to try this. I wouldn't be good in it. And I also saw it in, um, in Florida, they're playing soccer on a volleyball court, like in the beach. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. I don't know what the name of it is, but they're basically the same rules would apply. Like you can't use your hands, like in soccer, but you have three passes to get the ball over the net. And so these guys are kick like basically playing kick volleyballs. Best way to describe it. I don't even know what the name is, but I watched it and I'm like, that's amazing. I, I don't have the skill to do that, but that would Be the one I think we're gonna see it on season three of Ted lasso. , what's, what's something on your bucket list that you're getting close to making happen or have planned.

(12:48): Okay. So, uh, can I, can I give this as a partial answer? I, I like, like I split the answer there, cuz there's, there's kind of two, cuz there's they're related. Uh, one is, uh, there's, there's a really big, uh, conference that I have attended and I would love the opportunity to speak at that particular event because I was at the very first one that ever, um, happened. It's actually called money 2020. I do a lot of work in the FinTech space, a lot of financial technology companies and that's like the event. Uh, and I attended the first one and I've spoken in little breakout rooms, but I would love to be the keynote at one of those. That would be one and that's, that's not too far off. Cool. And the other part would be to, um, to go on, do more television interviews on some more national shows, giving awareness about some of the stuff that I've been doing. So like, I, I actually love those doing interviews like this at a, to a bigger audience, even, even bigger than builder nuggets, which I know is almost

(13:41): Possible. Well, we're not on, on, on network television yet, but Uh, no, but you don't need to be. Yeah. Especially, especially with Dave's teeth. Let's we're we'll address this. Yeah. This is A, this is a good, uh, radio moment right here. Uh, okay. So when you think about the apex of thriving and what I mean by that is the, the feeling a level of focus and accomplishment where you're in the zone. That just feels effortless. When, when you know that you're in that state, what are you doing? What, what activity or what, how are you performing? What, what is it that you're working on that you find yourself in that zone the most and you just love it? So it's, uh, it's three separate instances, but the same thing I'm in the zone. When I'm speaking to an audience about the power of connecting in the power of conversation and they're getting it in the moment I am on the podcast program and I'm having a conversation with an incredible thriving individual and we're decoding through great conversations and connecting their superpowers to the listeners. And the third is when I'm at work with the clients that I work with and in business and helping them really optimize the way that they're able to connect and make the most efficiencies and really improve the way they do things based on the lessons that I've helped to prepare them for and enable them to, and basically like really to get sales teams, marketing teams, and leaders to be at their best. It is that it is that messaging. That is where I'm in the zone and what I do best. And it's all the same thing. It's helping people better connect.

(15:17): It's uh, it's interesting that you say that because my nugget came when you said, and they're getting it because it's one thing for you to be in the zone, but you don't get into the zone, you're you, you're not in the, the apex of the zone unless you're seeing the impact. And you know that they're getting it, you know, that the audience is engaged. You know, that the, the client is feeling the benefit and that they're going into their thriving or striving mode. That's really cool in the hallmark of a great leader. I'm gonna give a shout out here to a woman I just spoke with who was a recent guest on thrive loud, who would be a great Las, a great guest for, uh, for builder nuggets. Sure. We love great guests.

She she's a, she's a hall of fame speaker in herself and she actually speaks about, um, generational savviness. Um, she comes from a massive family. I'm not kidding. You like 19 children. There was like something like 13 met six, like through, you know, at a, at a combined, uh, family spread out over so many different years that she has this, um, incredible knowledge of working with multiple generations, which as you know, in today's world is a real challenge because we have more generations in the workforce today than ever. And there are a lot of differences between them and how they can connect together. What she had said. We had a follow up after her interview. Um, her name is Anna Lata. You can go check her out. We'll give her, I listened to the episode yesterday.

(16:38): Oh, you just did. Yeah. So Anna Anna called me, uh, literally before we got on the call and she was giving me a compliment and saying that one of the things that when they're in it and they get it, uh, she, she was listening back to the conversation and I was managing to meld and take all the things that she had said in a very honest way and try and navigate the conversation in that direction, like get in her space and really let her own what she did and give her accolades while we're doing it. So the conversation like we're having right now is flowing, but we're also growing and building on top of that. So we're literally thriving in the conversation and that's a wonderful thing. And, and that comes, and I guess we should, we'll start addressing this. And that comes from nothing that you do, nothing you could do can make the conversation thrive in a certain way.

(17:27): It's not something that there's a rule book for. There's not certain actions, there's not certain words. It has nothing to do with what you do. It's how you need to be. And one of the things that I have learned over the last four decades of, of, you know, I started as, as like working in my dad's store when you're connecting with people and you are trying to figure out what meshes together, what you bring to the table, the way you present yourself, the mindset you put yourself in the, the sense of gratitude that you go into, every single interaction you have with work colleague, it is in that that connection is where that's where the connection begins. And it's where the conversation starts. And in that, bringing that type of wonderful openness, the, almost an apologetic, but genuineness of who you are, your own authentic self into every conversation, it is what makes us likable. It is what makes us connectable. It is what makes people want to have more conversations with us, wanna work with us, wanna do the best job they can for us and elevate themselves. So they thrive. It is not what you do. It is how you need to be

(18:38): Beautiful. And, you know, speaking easy, we'll get into that in a second is, is part of that. One of my takeaways from it was, and you're right. I was relating it to our industry as well, where you have a very diverse workforce. You've got young people that you're trying to get into the industry. And you've got builders in their sixties and seventies who have been doing this for some of them 50 years. They have communication issues. And Dwayne, and I know very well from, uh, coaching the builders that we work with that understanding how someone communicates is key. You first, you need to understand yourself and how, how you communicate and how you absorb information that helps you from a starting point. We use the col B index for that to begin to learn about that sort of thing. But it's so important for different generations and even for different, you know, people who D have different cognitive abilities, that absorb information in different ways that you understand are you speaking their language? Are you killing them with facts when they just really want the, with the bottom line? So awareness, uh, discovering that level of awareness and knowing what to do about it is, uh, is huge. We'll, we'll dig into, uh, some of that as we go, we got one, I, I think one last corner on, on fun street here before we get into even more media stuff. But in all your experience with, you know, all, all the people you've met or followed or interviewed on the show who stands out as thriving the most

(20:09): Am I supposed to, is this, is this a canned answer? I'm supposed to say, Dave, you know, what am I supposed to say, Dave? Cuz he was on the show. Is that what I'm supposed to do? No, no, no, no, definitely not. And to be fair to you. So, you know, when we went down fund street, you had given me a heads up and you didn't get that. And I, that's why I started out with one that you had, you had asked yeah. Before. So this is one, if you want table it and come back at the end and, and think about it a little bit as we go, because look at the volume of amazing individuals you've interviewed, but I just wondered like you As an expert, I'm trying, I, I, as an I, I, I don't know if I could give like a one off, um, answer, but I could cuz I will tell you, I think the, the, the beauty of what that program continues to do now three times a week, which is mind blowing to me. Yeah. Is that, that there's something about every single person and this is applicable for this show. There is some nugget that every single guest brings to the show that, that our listeners can take away with. And I get to take away with, as you guys know, you get spoiled sitting in the seat that you're in, cuz this is a chance to kind of like pluck out brilliance, greatness, um, wonder amazement energy, passion, love, hate frustration all at once and all focused on really cool topics. And you know, it's funny some of the, some of the people that were most famous and most recognizable on the show necessarily weren't the greatest guests in the show, but they certainly make it entertaining.

(21:30): I'll come back with a couple that I'll just give a shout out. But, but I, I, and that's not, and I'm not just trying to be politically, you know, correct. And not piss anyone off or not give the accolades to someone else. I I'm actually, I don't think I would have a clear cut answer. Okay. Because there's so many, but I can I'll I'll think about a couple that have really, um, I've I've had a couple that like literally rocked my world where I got off the interview either in, in tears, in, in awe or in just complete. Wow. This is an incredible human being on this planet type of thing. And I'll I'll we can get to the end. I'll let somebody that do some tinkering with that. Yeah. And imagine the energy that you get from their investment in you in sharing that story. Right. And those are the things that you take away. You talked a second ago, I think about purging. It's like when you can master the ability to purge the negativity and decide what you're going to let into your life and what you want to absorb, because what you absorb and how you are, is what you attract. So that that's really interesting. And in fairness to you, I didn't do this nearly as well as you because you prefaced the questions with, Hey, it's gotta be whatever pops to mind first. I bet you, there was a name that popped to your mind right away. And you're just going to, yeah,

(22:43): You'll start. I'm gonna jump to it now. Okay. Go. I'm gonna jump to it now. And, and it's, and it's relatively recent. This, this, let me make it clear. This is one that when the episode ended, I was just abs I was educated. I was inspired. I was, I was completely impressed. And I think I also gained a new perspec, um, some, so it was a guest that surprised me and that GE, that guest was Kate Donovan, Kate Donovan, who is gonna be like, you're kidding. You gave me the shout out on the show. Kate Donovan is the host of fried the burnout podcast. Hmm. And it was in, in this time right now. And we, we joke about it. We, we, we kind of lightly touched upon it earlier where I said we're working all the time. Right. And a lot. And the pandemic and the way things have happened have really put, um, an awareness and understanding of our mental health and how fragile it is and, and how stretched we are and how burnt out a lot of people are.

(23:47): And as was she and her story is inspiring, um, from all the things that she she's done and what, let her recognize that she was in burnout. And then eventually led her to create the burnout podcast as a space, to tell other people's stories and help educate people and help people through burnout. And coincidentally, after that show aired, I spoke to about three or four other guests that were all experiencing what Kate had featured on that show. Some had already identified and recognizing, and other ones sought out now to realize that they, that they were experiencing burnout. That was the one that, and, and it she's so well spoken. It was an educational piece, but it also showed how she moved onward and upward from a really challenging moments in her career. And she's still dealing with it every day, like any addict would. Uh, so, so that, that's just one, but that's one that still sticks out in my head because it was, it was so important that That's powerful. And I wanna turn it over to Dwayne for a second because this is a topic and we will definitely, uh, we would love a, a connection, uh, With her, okay. Kate, you're getting Kate and Anna are just getting, get lined up for guests here on, uh, but we'll do that. We'll make those connections. It's,

(24:54): It's really timely because Dwayne just hosted a wellness event. And we realize that in our industry, project managers, in particular, with all the, the adversity that they're facing right now in the workplace and the complexity of the job, so many of them are dealing with this and dealing with burnout and not feeling like they're living to their potential and just are overwhelmed. So Dwayne, I'll let you speak to that for a second. Yeah. I don't think it's any surprise and it's not, it's, you know, it's not just in construction, but this, this is the industry that we focus towards, but Wanna level up, connect with us to share your stories, ideas, challenges, and successes. The builder nuggets community is built on your experiences. It takes less than a minute to connect with us@buildernuggets.com, Facebook or Instagram, Want access to the resources that can take you and your team to the next level. One call could change everything. Yeah. You know, project managers are in, in particular. And I think it's, you look at 'em and every day it's like every day they have to deliver bad news. Yeah.

(25:58): Between tried delays everything, They right. They just wanna really do their job, their professionals when it comes to organization and laying stuff out and having a plan and, you know, schedules. And like I said, every day, it's it's bad news. Nope. This is not available. Nope. The cost of this has gone up. Nope. There's not enough trades to get to the job site where trade calls you and says he doesn't have enough. It's it's just constant, never ending. And, and that kind of thing across all industries, you know, I, I spoke with someone not too long ago that said, um, people in the supply chain they're gone, they're checked out, they're done. They're, they're, they're leaving in droves because I guess, think about that for a minute. You know, what a, what a miserable thing to every single day, all you're doing is answering complaints and coming up with excuses. Yeah. You know, that's Horrible. And I, it is, I think, in your industry too. And you think about, and specifically in this window of time that you guys have had this show on and, and, and what the building industry has had to deal with, uh, delays, uh, supply issues. Uh, I was, I was just down in, in south Florida, we're trying to find a place, uh, down there. And we were having a conversation with some new construction folks that, you know, those storm protective windows are on like an eight month to a year delay. So like, yeah, okay. Your house is gonna be ready. There's not gonna be a window to keep anything from the outside in it. It's a really challenging world to deal with. And, and that bombardment of your, think about it, this, and I think this will, this will resonate the most. You're, you're building something.

(27:29): I, I, I always remembered, uh, a lot of businesses. You can, even, this, I'm gonna take a movie reference here. If you guys remember at the end scene and pretty woman, not with the love bit, but he was trying to dismantle all these companies. And eventually at the end, he, with the ship building companies, he decided he wasn't gonna break it up. He was gonna help build some things, cuz he never really built anything and how important it is to build it. And when you build a building and you could see the sense of accomplishment and that it's somebody's home or it's somebody's office or it's somebody's community, but you're creating something that is so valuable to everybody that's around there, that it's in general. It's a great thing, but it there's a lot of stress and there's a lot of difficulty and there's a lot of cost and there's a lot of delays and there's a lot of management issues and staffing issues and timing issues that makes building hard, which is why not everybody does it.

(28:15): It takes a real special person to do it. So yeah, the stress, the, the, an the anxiousness, the anxiety, and the uncertainty's gotta be crazy. So really, and this, you know, bringing this back to, I guess what I focus on is a lot, and what you probably did in this retreat is the ability to have a conversation about these difficult things is equally as important. Um, it used to be, remember, we didn't talk about all this stuff we didn't talk about when you weren't mentally, well, you wouldn't, you didn't let none, you never let anybody know you were seeing a therapist or a shrink, cuz that would be just taboo. But today this is obviously more accepted and there's so many more people suffering from it that having conversations about this is essential and essential in the workplace to make sure that everyone's okay like these, these pro programer project manager. So I'm totally, yeah. And totally got it. Yep. And we held an event. It was at the whitewater center in Charlotte and we had some team building in the morning where people went out, got outta their comfort zone and from jumping off a hundred foot platform, zip lining and ropes courses and just stuff that, you know, that a lot of these folks wouldn't do and having them be encouraged by people that said, oh, what the hell with it? I will do it. And the conversations that started because of that completely removed from, as, as you said, coworker business, um, construction, it was just human interactions. And it was, you know, it was very, it was very powerful and very positive.

(29:33): So normally at this stage, in the show, or even at the beginning, we're asking you, you know, the way you ask it is without going all the way back to the womb, you know, how did you get to, to be the leader of this influence organization? But because you've just really established yourself, I think as a, a thought leader, we'll put up a link back to your site, or we have you on another show, we'll dig into the, the history of you and how, how you became here. And, and that journey deserves to be told when there's ample time to be able to dig into that. But if you have a lot of exciting things happening to you right now, we're gonna talk about, uh, your upcoming book. But I think the part we do need to, to, to touch on. And when we talk about thriving is what does thriving mean to you and how do you want others to think of it? And you've given some examples, so we have some insight into it, but if, if a concise answer to this and, and how you think about it, I think would be valuable and give a lot of in insight To me. Um, we're we never stop thriving. You, you mentioned earlier about, uh, north Easterners, uh, needing to constantly be thriving because there's just not enough time in the day. Just you have to be very direct with what you need to, to do drive Or dog.

(30:44): Yeah, exactly. So, so I, I like to think moving onward and upward is what thriving is. And, uh, if you could see behind me, obviously we've got the logo for, for thrive. Is this, this looks like a green Jack, uh, you know, like the jacks, the kids play with, that's what we call it, the Jack and it's pointing to up to the right onward and upward and moving onward and upward. And, but there's an important piece of what that entails, uh, and that entails connecting at every stage of your career of your life. Um, the things that you love, you know, in the show is about thriving in your life, your business and your passion. And that's what thriving is. Um, I'm always trying to figure out what do people do when they're not thriving to get themselves back on that path towards success, cuz we're always moving forward. And I think the always is an important part of what thriving is. Uh, so when I mentioned earlier, it's not what you need to do to connect in your conversations. It's how you need to be. The great people I've had on the program have a certain way that they need to be, and they know what they need to do to get themselves to move on and upward. It's not the same for everybody. We all have our own little tricks on what that is. Those that know how to succeed, have figured out for themselves what they do great and what they do well or what they need to do to, to do something great. And that in itself is the best part about what thriving is because it always kind of changes. And as you grow and learn different things, you learn new ways. About five years ago, I tried meditation.

(32:19): Didn't work for me. I, but I speak to hundreds of people that do it all the time. Interestingly, I have other ways that I find out that I'm actually meditating. I do a Peloton bike ride and, and while I'm in it, I'm totally out of it. And I'm relaxing and getting myself in shape. Some people go for walks, go for runs. Everyone's got their own things that make them thrive and they're always doing it. So my, my key message went thriving means to me is moving on when and upward, but it is also an ongoing way of life for us to figure out how to solve the problem, how to motivate the people around us, how to keep them focused on the task at hand. So that in your example here, so that they can accomplish this building and build the next one, how to make a better house the next time they do it, how to work better together, how to do things on budget. That to me is what thriving is and, and, and to help people prepare themselves so that they're ready to take on the task is where I thrive the most.

(33:17): Yeah. It, it sounds like, and you touched on it when you dug deeper into, uh, you know, your effortless ability. If you're struggling or you find yourself in a mindset and you're not resetting finding a way to help somebody else thrive, maybe a trigger for you. Yeah. To, to do that because oftentimes you'll be down and out, but somebody else will be down and out and you will be giving them advice and, and giving them a nugget or encouragement or guidance or some form of leadership that has impact on them. You instantly find yourself feeling better. And it's, it's a great reset for yourself. So it's, it's a question that I know that you ask every, every guest you asked, you asked it of me. So I was interested in, you know, your, your trick is the, don't call it a trick, but the Peloton. Great, great, great. Where you set for you for, for me, it used to be going up playing hockey, uh, you know, you get on the ice. That was until earlier this week listeners, because who knows what happened to this guy?

(34:13): Yeah, well, the, the, the puck accident was actually almost 20 years ago and I've just been living with the, now a busted retainer, but anyway, um, but it's that ability to go and, and purge because you're not thinking about anything else and you're doing something that you love. And the example that I gave when I was say, when you say, Hey, what's the first thing that comes to mind. And for me, it was hugging one of my daughters and you just something that takes that has meaning that gives you comfort and, and like powers you back up so that you can get yourself into that thriving zone and know that there are things that are worth it that I need, that I need to put myself up to, to be able to do and focus on it and, and give yourself those, those carrots or those goals, or there those challenges that you can then pursue and be excited about, because it really comes down to, it's hard to thrive if you don't have something that you're excited about and work towards and, and pursue. So if you're, if you're constantly excited about things that you're pursuing, even though sometimes you may not be going fast enough, those are still super, super motivating. So you focus a lot on the power of connecting and conversation is a huge part of that. And you have a new book coming out in speak easy, you drill into the methods. And the strategies used by top interviewers around the world top hosts. And, uh, and, and you show people and teach people how to transform every conversation that they have into an opportunity to connect and to engage and to win in business and in life. So, yeah. Tell us about speak easy.

(35:54): I think the, the interesting part about this book was it's always nice to know what, what was the initial intention and what was I originally gonna write? Uh, the first book I wrote, um, almost seven years ago, was master the art of connecting and Mar master. The art of connecting was helping basically, I guess, at that high level to understand a little bit of how we need to be, to connect with others. But I also dug into something that is kind of this connecting core that we each have. There are certain muscles inside of us that attract other people to connect with us. And that concept is, is actually, you know, pretty well received. And it, it, it goes into a lot of that because the connecting skills, I have have always been something very prevalent and I never looked at myself as a salesperson, a marketer.

(36:42): I looked at myself as a connector, and I think that was a big message that I had from my first book. Uh, I did not wanna write another book unless I had something to write about and having done, uh, so many podcast interviews and having so many opportunities to connect with great people. I thought that the, the next book I was gonna write was about listening. And as someone who has helped leaders understand how important it is to listen in the roles that you have. And I, and I started to, I really did some research. I, I even went to just outside of the Seattle area to a very large hearing aid company to talk about how they try to take sound and understand how they can get people to listen. Because the hearing impaired, obviously can't hear what we say. So what are the things that they're trying to do to make sound resonate?

(37:29): And I, I did that much research and I started to realize one of two things. One, it was way deeper than I thought it was. And two that I probably wasn't the best person to be giving this message. And I don't know if it was really at its core, what was at the core was the thing that you and I, or, or the three of us were all behind our microphones. And that was that I was having a lot of conversations and it wasn't just on the podcast show. It was in all the business meetings, it was in sales meetings, helping sales teams do better, helping speak to lots of different audiences. And I, someone brought it to my attention. They said, nobody has figured out how to navigate conversations better than you. You should probably focus on that. And that was actually like, talk about connecting the dots. It was the epicenter to where every single connection begins is a great conversation. Dave, you and I had one on the podcast show. I'm having now one with your business partner and colleague here, who, by the way, has one of the coolest background rooms ever. I'm just looking at him. He's got a good SP better, better than, better than what I'm looking at with Dave and his teeth. But that's not important right now when it came to conversations, I knew a lot about it. I also knew that there were a lot of other experts that knew a lot about great conversations. I also have a certain way of how I need to be. And what I said was, wait a minute. What if I can help people connect with every single conversation they have, because we don't always connect. We sometimes have conversations that pass are fleeting.

(38:56): We sometimes miss the mark, uh, the sales meeting doesn't land. The first date doesn't work. Uh, the person doesn't get the job. The CEO's message gets, you know, doesn't have the intention that it's supposed to hit to who it's going through. And I recognize that a lot of that is not on what you need to say, but it's how you need to be. And I started breaking down the ways you need to be in a very simple, easy way so that you can speak in a conversation and listen in a conversation and engage in a way that creates a connection that wants you to create, wants you to have more conversations that wants you to take that conversation and move it to the next level, move onward and upward. So speak easy as somebody who said to me has become kind of like a love letter for communications.

(39:43): It's how we can have better conversations in a very simple guidebook that provides you literally, as you gentlemen, will appreciate this as podcast host from intro to outro with the speakeasy theme, uh, of the old school bars, where you know, used to be underground, you know, bathtub, gin and places you couldn't get to, uh, where we even have a special bar cart menu with conversational flights to help us deal with the recipes of some of the conversations we all have, like the uncomfortable conversation that which we call the 800 pound gorilla, the boom boom zoom room, which is like a funny drink name for these type of conversations that we're having. What ingredients do you need? How do we mix 'em together? And how can you prepare yourself on the way you need to be every single conversation? So that is what I brought to the table and speak easy as a way for you to navigate your conversations, to connect every single time.

(40:37): Does the book dig into specific scenarios as well? Because, oh yeah, I, I, that environmental learning, and I'm thinking back to, you know, our audience here, a project manager or a business owner who is dealing with every range of emotions, different scenarios, sometimes completely different personalities. Are you able to be different in conflict versus stress versus sorrow? Do you touch on all those things? Because project managers, these days, they really need this skillset. Not only for managing the conversations, but for being able to thrive themselves, they, they wanna feel good about it and they wanna feel skilled at it and not take it personally. If somebody else doesn't have the skill to have that conversation, they may need to deflect. They need to, there's all sorts of things that they need to do. So I can imagine that this book and the things that you're sharing, sharing are filled with nuggets around not only what to do and say, but how to think and how to be yourself, so that you, you come across as genuine and you're adding value to the scenario. Instead of like, I tell my kids when they're angry and I watch, I have three teenage girls, and I'll say to one of them, like, you just tried to put that fire out with gas. It's not gonna work. , you know, you're ready to kill mom. Mom's ready to kill you because you know, you're, you know, you both had a right fight, but tell us more about, about some of the nuggets that they'll, we'll find in there.

(42:08): Well, let me give, let me give you list there. If it's okay with you, I'm gonna give you a nugget that actually addresses exactly the situation and helps you really shape how you should think about every conversation. Okay, perfect. So what I love to say before I go on a podcast before I speak to a crowd, before I engage in any conversation before any phone call, any presentation, any pitch, I connect my voice V O I C E each one of these letters is preparing myself for the mindset I need to step into we, this is what we'll call. This is part of the sound check. This is like, what I need to do before. I'm about to engage in any conversation. I do this, and it's really simple. And it also helps in all the scenarios that you just described, whether it's an uncomfortable situation or not. And let's let me navigate through it. The V is to visualize, you're about to enter the conversation and you probably have an intention on what you'd like to accomplish in that conversation. Visualize how it's gonna go.

(43:02): Almost like ahead of it. Think of it. I use an example. Uh, we talked about golf before Jason Day, the golfer, if you remember this, he would close his eyes right before he'd stand behind the ball. Imagine what the swing would be in everything. That's exactly what I'm basically asking you to do. You don't have to close your ass, but you can visualize how you see this conversation going and what you'd like to get out of it. It's important to do this because a lot of times we just dive in to your point, pouring gasoline on the fire. We sometimes don't think about where we want this to go first. If there's a, if you're trying to break up a conflict, your goal is to break up the conflict. If you're trying to learn more information and become more acquisitive, your goal will be to become more productive after that chat than not right. This is what we want to do. We wanna visualize ahead of it. The most important letter of the connect, your voice is the O. And that is to appreciate the opportunity that you're having a conversation in this disconnected world, builder nuggets listeners make it clear. Every chance we have to have a conversation is a gift to connect with another individual, to speak with them about anything. Think about what we were, was taken away from us during COVID, and we didn't have the opportunity to be face to face. And we were stuck just virtually, or maybe not at all that particular opportunity. If you go in with a sense of appreciation and gratitude, you're already elevating the situation into somebody that you want to connect with, because this is somebody that's appreciative of the moment. The eye is the, the identity who you need to be in that conversation.

(44:34): Are you the one asking the questions? Are you the one telling the story? Are you the one explaining the problem? Are you the one trying to figure out the solutions? If we clearly go into every conversation, knowing what role we need to be like a good actor or a good improv person, we are going to know how to navigate that conversation better. And the C and E we gently touched upon earlier is charisma and energy. You have to bring something of yourself into every conversation. You have something that makes you, you, it could be funny or witty, or, you know, energetic. I'm naturally energetic like this all the time. This is me, which is ironic about energy. You have to elevate the energy in every conversation you have, because you're trying to make a connection in that conversation. And nobody wants to connect with a dud. You have to elevate this to a new level, connect your voice, visualize, appreciate the opportunity, know your identity, and bring your charisma energy into every conversation you have. It doesn't matter the situation. And I guarantee you, you will be more thoughtful and productive on where you're trying to get to the resolution of any conflict, gratitude situation, a job, or just a general conversation to connect with another individual. It will navigate you and set the stage. If you would, to get you to the next level of the conversation,

(45:48): Does listening fall into energy, because as you were saying that, and you said, you have to bring the energy to it. You also be, need to be mindful of the person who didn't go through a voice preparation. On the other side, they're in a flared state, they're in a sad state. They're in whatever state they're in. Part of it has to be the observation and the awareness around that, to know what level of energy yeah. To bring in listening is probably a key part of this. So that would get injected into the identity you need to be okay. And that means, remember that if you need to comment, look, every now and then someone has to dictate a situation on how something needs to be. You have to break it up. You have to, you have to take the leader. Not every single situation requires a democratic situation. Sometimes a decision has to be made and something has to be done. And many times that eye is what you need to do. And that comes from listening and absorbing the, the vibe that's out there. In other situations, you need to hear differing opinions. One person thinks something should be done. One way. Another person thinks should be another, another. There's a conflict, a MIS order, a miscommunication, a, a decision that needs to be made by the way that might cost money. Right? So in that role, your listening falls into, maybe you are the one who's the active listener in this situation.

(47:00): Who's going to assess what to do. Maybe it isn't your role to have a role in this conversation at all, by the way, that's also something that sometimes needs to happen. You don't have to be the one speaking. You might just be the one who needs to just be listening. So in every one of those situations, those identities, we highlight a few of them and speak easy, but it's really understanding where you need to position yourself in most conversations. And ahead of that, just think about if you connected your voice and by the way, you're right. Not everyone's thinking about how they connect their voice, but hopefully they'll read the book and they'll think about it. It will then bring a level of energy that will help set the tone of this. Because by the way, that energy is about elevating. So you can connect. Um, if you sit back too much, it might be hard. You may have to speak a little bit louder. If it's not the most comfortable, you may also have to listen harder. And that could be a part of where you can actually engage in more with where that energy transforms Conversations happen in a space. And being able to give, being able to understand how much space the other person needs, what they need to get off their chest. Like there's a whole bunch of mindfulness and awareness needed here. And this is one of the reasons why this book is going to be so impactful is that everybody uses this because everyone has conversations. It doesn't just apply to business. It applies to relationships and human basic human interaction. So we're, uh, we're excited to, to dig, dig into it more,

(48:22): The big test we had with, uh, speak easy, which at the end of every chapter, we do this connecting age and win. And so if we're explaining a, a methodology about how you should navigate your conversation and move it through from the preparation for what you need to do before, during and after, but in each instance, we bring it up and how it relates to certain business situations on how you need to maybe close the sale, or maybe you need to, um, lead a certain group of people. We're always shifting something in how we can connect, engage, and win for the business listener. At the end of every chapter and just about every chapter also gives a real business scenario story as well from someone speaking on stage to two people running into one another to a real interesting work situation for a networking component. These are all the types of conversations that we all flutter through in life. But if we appreciate them more often, we will connect, engage, and win in all the aspects of what we Do. Yeah. For sure. As we're approaching the end of this show here, I mean, why definitely want to get out of you? What we try to get at everybody that comes on is what's exciting you over the next six months to a year, you know, what do you have? Uh, what do you have coming up?

(49:31): Well, aside from continuing to talk about speakeasy, I'm actually speaking about speakeasy a lot, which is a lot of fun, which will be out on September 27th. Uh, and you could pre-order at speakeasy book.com just cuz there's my plug section there. I'm sure you'll put it in the show now we'll crank It right up. Uh, uh, the other things I'm very excited about is, uh, thrive loud, continues to thrive loud and we have some unbelievable programming and guests and some, uh, some other forums that we're actually utilizing the podcast on in from some live audio and social audio mediums where we're doing some episodes, uh, some more other social channels, we're doing stuff. And there even is going to be some potential TV thing with speakeasy and thrive loud, which we'll share when we're allowed to share about it. But there here's one thing I am very excited about. I'm gonna tell you about it. I'm going to New York city in August. Uh, there is a very famous bartender on YouTube who mixes all these really cool drinks. I can't tell his name yet because he hasn't signed on it yet, but this is what he does. Does he mixes all these different drinks and he films 'em and he shows you how to do it on YouTube. It's pretty cool. He's a cool mixologist. And we are going to do a pairing of the bar Cartt secret menu of speakeasy, all the special conversational flights and pair them with some really cool drinks that he's gonna mix together that will be applicable like the 800 pound gorilla, the uncomfortable conversation, the icebreaker, how to get things started, uh, straight up honesty, which is basically just a shot of honesty straight down. So we're gonna have some fun putting that together and that's gonna be fun. Watch

(50:56): Out for the worm For that. Yeah, there is no worm. There is no worm I've I've checked it. I've only done that once. That Sounds pretty cool. So that's what I'm excited for. Awesome. And, and for our audience that wants to learn more, what are some of the other spots, uh, website? Yeah. What, you know, they're looking for nuggets, we talked a lot. Normally we dig into more tactics and strategies and today was a lot about, a lot about thinking and, and mindset, which was great. You really, you really need that part too. Um, but there's a massive opportunity as a follow up to go to your website and learn more. So send everybody there please. Yeah. So go to thrive. That's thrive. Lou d.com L O U d.com. You haven't figured that out. I think Dave did the first one. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Uh, thrive loud.com and if you want and there you can get everything. You could see all the speaking, you could see all the consulting work. We do all the podcasts, including great episodes of amazing thriving individuals. You can access there. And you could also learn more about speakeasy there

(51:57): As well. Well, thank you so much for helping us thrive. I'm sure Dwayne and I, I, I feel really inspired to learn more about this and think more about the conversations that I'm having, the, the valuable nuggets about stress and wellness as well are resonating. And we appreciate those recommendations for those other guests and, and we'll get our audience to, to check those out too. So very much appreciate getting this time with you. And we wish you a ton of success with the, with the book we'll be getting it, we'll be promoting it. We'll be probably coaching people around many of the nuggets that are in there. So Dwayne and I have talked about this. Often we, we started this to share what we know and we quickly realized that what other people know and what other people share with you is what makes a show like this? Great. And your nearly 800 episodes are Testament to that in your time here with us is further proof. So thanks man. Truly an honor. And thank you so much for having me both Dwayne Dave, truly a pleasure and, uh, have fun at the dentist, Dave. Yeah. Thanks man.

Hey, thanks for listening, Dwayne and I love hearing from you. Your stories are inspiring and your challenges can be overcome. Got a cool tip idea for a show problem that you haven't been able to solve, or maybe just struggling to figure out what you need next and where to get it. We can help hit us up@buildernuggets.com and start building freedom.

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