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  • How to find your true divine purpose through the eyes of the Kentucky Homes kids. (2:51)
  • Why out-of-control haircuts make your kids more driven, responsible, and self-directed. (19:50)
  • Why tending personal growth like a garden brings more opportunities and rewards to your family. (23:00)
  • How Galatians 6:9 lets nothing stop you from taking on the day (and keeping your heart pure). (25:24)

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Hi there. I'm Jill Allen and this is find your fierce, the show designed for women to discover your fierce, unlock and unstoppable mindset. Build unbreakable courage and completely transform how you show up every single day. Each week I will bring ideas, methods and strategies that will inspire you to step into your greatness and live life on purpose. Let's be fit, fierce and unstoppable.

(00:34): Either getting welcome to find your fear so glad that you are here. We are continuing some real talk today with a special guest, but before I introduce her and go any further today, I have to say that we love that you are here listening and spending time with us. And we're so honored that I get to be a part of your day. You are all so amazing. And I have to thank you for your love and support as always. I appreciate your feedback, your reviews, and love that you share this podcast and the set free message with your friends and family. So if you could keep on doing that, that would be pretty exciting and epic because you are helping this movement as it helps reach more women and impacts more lives. And that is certainly what life is all about. So thank you again for being with us each week.

(01:11): Okay. So let's get started. I want you to meet my friend, Heather. She is a wife, a mom of five kids and her heart. And this is what I love the most about Heather is that her heart is so big for the Lord. And we met a year ago, almost exactly a year ago at the just breathe retreat. And we hit it off right away. I want you to meet my friend, Heather Mason, how are you girl? I'm doing good. How are you? Good. I I'm just so excited that you're here. Your, your voice, your heart. I mean, I can see it in your eyes guys. If you can see her eyes, you can, you know, you'll just know you'll you'll know the Lord. I mean, it's just so powerful. And I just loved you right away. And so this is why I'm so excited that you are here because you get to share your heart with everyone.

(01:58): Everyone that's listening today, the day that we first met, I remember this conversation and it hit home with me because we have five kids as well. And I mean, gosh, five teenagers. I mean, we have 14 agers, one tween. Okay. So it's kinda like, and you shared this story with me that, and I want you to elaborate a little bit more, but it was one of those things where it's like, ah, you know, teenagers, aren't my thing. But here I am, I have five teenagers. So like I have, you know, God is giving me all of these teenagers, like what is going on? I mean, share your story a little bit with, with everyone, because in that funny how God kind of gives you what you sometimes don't always think you want. Yes, absolutely. It's quite comical. And I always talk about that. I think that he up there during my entire entire cheek, teenage years and everything that he was up there laughing at me because he's just like, you, wait, you wait, you know, I've got something planned for you.

(03:07): And because as a teenager, I did not like other teenagers. I was what you would call probably an old soul. And I never got into all of the teenage things. I would like to say that I was pretty respectful. My grandparents and my parents and stuff had a hard, it was pretty rough life growing up, but I just, I didn't like teenagers. I just didn't. I did not like them. And then going into adulthood, I really could not stand them, going to the mall and see, just be so annoying was really rough and stuff. And so, you know, when we talk about it and think about it, you know, looking back, it's just crazy because several years ago, my husband and I had been, well, several years ago, like 10 years ago, my husband, I had been trying to get pregnant, had a rough time getting pregnant and stuff.

(03:57): So we had talked about adoption and foster care and things like that from the get go. Even on our first date, we did, we did that as well. We talked about if we can have our own kids, like what that would look like for us. And he wanted a big family. I did not, I wanted like two and that was, it did not want any other kids. But then, you know, as we tried to get pregnant and stuff, couldn't get pregnant, started looking at options and stuff. We started filling out paperwork and things for adoption and foster care, but then ended up pregnant. So we kind of stopped all of that and had two kiddos, two very rough pregnancies, but two kiddos, my doctor was like, you can't, you shouldn't have any more children biologically, because your body just can't take it. So I ended up having a hysterectomy, which was a rough go as well.

(04:48): That was the end to us, biologically ever being able to have children from ourselves and after about a year or so after that, my husband and I like, I, we had been talking about foster care and he was just not there. He was not wanting that at all. He was good with our two kids and adding any more, even just little kids was daunting to him. But here we are, he, he was good with our two and I wanted more. So it really totally, it, it was crazy. I don't understand it. So from there, I ended up doing a ton of like babysitting and stuff like that from home as a stay at home mom. So I babysat tons and tons of kids and with getting my fill that way. And so then for years I prayed God. Like I wanna, like, I feel like we're supposed to do foster care.

(05:40): Like how, like, but my husband doesn't. So like, what do I do? I can't do it without him. Like, there's no way, like, you know, I can't force him into this either. So I began praying God, take this out of my heart men. Like if this is not a view, I'm not going to talk to my husband about it anymore. I'm not going to bug because I don't want it to be a wedge between us. And we ended up it was, it was the beginning of the year of 2018, I believe, or 17, one of the two, it all goes, it all blends together. It does it with where we're at now. I'm like, I don't even remember what year it was. I'd have to go back and look in my journal and stuff. But at the beginning of the year, I really started praying that God kick it out of my heart, because if this is not what my husband wants, I don't want it either.

(06:27): Like, or, you know, if this is what we're supposed to do, change his heart. Like let him come to me about it. So about eight months later, it was like August. He, my husband came to me and said, so I think we should do this. And I was like, what? So I signed up for classes just like that. Like, it was so fast. We were taking classes by October and getting ready to begin foster care. Of course we were going to do little kids. There was, you know, that was there. We were going to do kids younger than what our children were at that point. And so, yeah, so we were set, we were going forward. That's what we were doing and then come April of the following year. So that would have been 2018. Corey's aunt had asked us to go on a mission trip to hope hill Kentucky.

(07:16): And it's a group home for teenage girls who were in foster care in Kentucky. And it's a residential treatment facility. So they're there for a number of reasons and things, but it's usually one of the last resorts for kids that are in foster care and her heart she'd been going here for years, you know, loving on these kids and stuff for years. And so we were like, yeah, we'll go. So we went and we knew we were just gonna like do crafts with the girls and things like that. And we get down there and we are doing, you know, we, I think we were making hats, I think is what we were making. We were making hats and decorating the tops of them and stuff. And there's this one kiddo who sat down in front of me and from the beginning we hit it off.

(08:03): We just were talking and stuff. And I started asking about her foster care, like how, like how long she had been in and like, you know, all of the things about it. And she was, she was pretty open about everything. And so then I shared with her that we were going to do foster care as well. We had actually taken our classes. We were just waiting to get our home study done and things. And she looked at me straight in the face and said, let me guess you want to do little kids. Right. Because nobody wants teenagers like us.

(08:36): I cannot even tell you what that felt like in that moment, because it still hits me so hard right now because it was the cold hard truth. It was a cold, hard truth. If you really ask yourself, am I going to go to a residential treatment facility and pick a teenage girl kid out of one of those and make like, once them, for myself and my like flesh flesh, absolutely not like that is not in having younger kids in my home as well. No, absolutely not. There's so much trauma and so much brokenness and so much, so much. Like how can I, how could I do that? And so it really, she did it hit, it hit, you got punch. Yes. Wake up. I mean, it's absolutely that to you. It does. It does. And I had never had anyone speak a truer truth than that in that moment.

(09:38): Like it, it was just, I, I could barely talk. I mean, you know, cause I was like, oh my gosh. And so, you know, that night, like I went back to my room and I'm journaling about all of this God. Like why? Like why would I think that I should do little kids, you know, and stuff. And so then began the stirring in my heart and I'm like, oh my gosh, my husband's going to freak out. Like I tell him that do teenagers instead of little kids, no, like he's going to freak out. So the crazy part of that too is throughout the day, like he was in playing basketball with the teens and stuff and volleyball and you know, just chatting up with them in different ways and stuff. So he got to the talk was all of the girls on a different, you know, and I got to talk to a whole lot of other girls as well and stuff, but we, he, we came back together that night because we stayed in like a cabin really close to the facility and stuff and it's an amazing place.

(10:40): And so we came back together that night, we had some alone time to where we could talk and stuff about like what, everything that we are feeling and stuff. And I was like, God, I have to tell them, like I have to tell them that this girl like pulled on my heartstrings, you know? And I'm like, I have to tell them how I felt and like what I'm feeling right now and be honest and vulnerable, you know, and stuff. And so I did, and as I began to share with him and I'm like, honey, I'm like, man, there was this one kid who really stood out to me. And I was like, I don't know anything like really about her background wise. I mean, other than what she's shared with me, but I don't know anything deeper than that or like what this even means.

(11:19): I said, but I feel like we're supposed to pursue her. Like I feel like we are supposed to pursue her. So he looked at me and he was like, oh my gosh. He said, I had the same feeling and I was blown away. And then I was like, well, the possibility of us having the same girl is going to be insane. Like, that's just not going to happen. Like if anything else, as you're like sharing the story, like it's chill that I had when you shared this with me a year ago, because I just love it so much. Okay. So keep going. Yeah.

(11:55): Talking and stuff. And, and she had a very unique name and I'm not going to share that here and stuff, but she had a very unique name. So when we went to talk, you know, about like her and stuff, I mean, there was no denying too. We were talking about because like we both knew. And so in that moment we were like, holy crap, like, you can't make this up, you can't make this up. And so we're like, okay, I don't know what this means. I don't know what we're supposed to do. But all we know is that we like we are in agreement. We like, and for me that was confirmation on a whole new level. Like I never knew like this part of our faith was there and being able to hear from God or even just, even though we weren't like necessarily hearing the audible voice, God, just the things that he put inside of us, like the things that we were feeling in the, you know, and they sync up so well.

(12:54): And they were like, it was just a beautiful moment. So of course the next day we get to love on these girls a little bit more, her cabin ended up getting in trouble. So we did not actually get to see her anymore. So we were both pretty bummed that we did not get to spend any time with her the next day at all. But we also knew that we weren't going to of course say anything to her and try to get her hopes up because we were so afraid. Like if we would say something to her and then, I mean, what are the chances of us? And I didn't know her last name and of course they won't give out because of, they want to make sure that they nobody because it's not necessarily HIPAA, but it's, it's kind of the same thing. Like, yeah.

(13:37): Yeah. So they're not going to give out names of these kids and stuff because they're under age and all the things. But what we had going for us was her very unique first name. So we come back home feeling somewhat defeated, but on fire at the same time, like it was a crazy feeling. It was kind of like this mountain ahead of us. Like how in the world? Like we feel it, we know we're supposed to pursue it, but how in the world? And then how do we come back and tell our family, like how do we come back and tell our families that this is what we, they were already thinking. We were crazy doing foster care in the first place, but let alone the specific teenager. So I mean, it all really just, you know, kind of goes from there then in the months and months that it took us to and the endurance it did.

(14:26): Cause I had to, like, I had all, I was on phone calls with Kentucky with, I mean, and it's just, it was insanity. I mean, months we're talking six months of phone calls like weekly, a few times a week trying to get emails, like trying to tell people we're not insane, but you know, we're trying to find this child that we feel like we're supposed to be a part of her life. And so, yeah. So I mean, that's kind of where it, it, it goes to, and then, I mean, it just went crazy from there. So, well, I think so many of us can relate to your story whether we're in foster care or not. I mean, I, I want to like really make this clear because what I hear from you is like, okay, God placed something in your heart that was so strong, not just yours.

(15:13): And that's what was so crazy because when you talk about alignment and that's in confirmation, that's exactly what it is. And so like we, we get this thing or whatever it is in our heart, this purpose. And then you immediately, I mean, you even said it was this mountain in front of you right away. Right? Like I'm going to distract it. There's going to be, there's this distraction, the uphill battles, the unknowns, the fear, the craziness of, well, what will other people think? What will, like, all this stuff is all wrapped up into one, no mat and we all go through it. Yeah. I just, and you were able to identify it. So how can we make it very clear to help others? Like identify whatever that purpose, whatever that call is on there, on, on your life? Or are we listening? Are we being obedient?

(16:04): I mean, how can we step someone through this crazy doesn't make sense. A lot of God's plans don't do not make sense. Yeah. They don't absolutely not. Well, especially like looking back specifically to teenagers and in my life, like that was, if you want to call it a hurdle, because there was no way I was even thinking about bringing a teenager into my home, let alone like loving them, you know, like through all of that junk that I knew that teenagers go through and stuff, even from, you know, biological families and stuff like that, they do. Like, it's hard, easy. So I guess, you know, when you have that clear defining moment and you know, and you feel everything inside of you as like, this is what I'm supposed to do, or this is where I'm supposed to pursue and stuff is don't let anything stop that don't let anything squander that because it would have been so easy to be defeated and to be taken under and just be like, oh my gosh, no, we're just, this is, this is too hard.

(17:14): It's too hard. We're just not going to do it because let me tell you, Jesus, Jesus was up against some really hard stuff too, though. He was really up against some hard things in his life and you know, all the way to the cross. And I just had he, and had he not just kept going, like, like I can't even imagine where we would be. So for me, I'm like he gave up his life and if I have to give up feeling uncomfortable, if I have to up feeling like an outcast, you know, at times, because of way I believe or the way I choose to do things or, you know, we're even facing some of that now, like, because of decisions that we've had to make, doesn't make sense to other people. But for us, like my husband and I, we come to everything, very prayerfully and we are very intentional about, and we do talk about all the hard stuff as well.

(18:10): Like it's not that it's not there and it's not that we ignore it or anything like that, you know, daily, we have to like die to ourselves and what, what the feelings are inside of us and push through it. Like we have to like, there's no other, there's no other way, you know, talk about perseverance. Yeah, it is. It is. Yeah, it is. It's a lot of, all of that. And I just can't imagine my life any other way. And you know, honestly, you know, specific to my journey and stuff and, and even for other people who have teenagers, cause like, if you have children, you're going to have teenagers at some point or another and grow up.

(18:59): And even if you have done every single thing, right. Or even not even everything. Right. But like with good intentions and you know, all of the things and raising them the way that you would hope they still have free will. And they are going to make decisions on their own. They still have to have consequences, but you can still love them through it and still push through it all. Like, you know, we're going through that now ourselves, like trying to figure out what this, you know, new life into adulthood with teenagers, you know, they're turning into adults. I mean, in December we will have three 18 year olds because, and I just, I don't know what that's supposed to look like, but it's literally just taking it one day at a time and just continuing, like there's no other option at this point. Yeah. I know.

(19:50): I think we sometimes forget like, as they're growing into who they are and who they've been created to be it's less and less us like, yeah, we are like, we're growing as well because we are being forced to let go, like, and to allow them to make choices based off their freewill. And it's like, ah, and we want to be, we want to come in and we want to bring all our wisdom and our knowledge. And when we sometimes forget that, like, okay, God has them too. Yes, absolutely. And that's us giving up our control. And that is something that has been always a huge struggle for me. I always wanted control of everything like there, you know, I, I did. And because, and that's one thing with teenagers in general is they don't feel like they have a lot of control over their lives.

(20:45): So, you know, being able to let have decisions that they can make that are, is not going to detrimentally harm them or anything like that. But things as simple as letting them cut their hair or color their hair, or, you know, so what my kids to cut their hair, I want my son right now to cut his hair. And that is a battle that we are going through right now. Yes. Well I guess, yes. Well, I guess in that case then it's letting him grow it out. It really is. Thank you for that reminder that gentlemen who knew, who needed to hear that. Exactly. No, absolutely. I, I totally get that. I do, but you know, as much as we want to have control on things. So do they, you know, everybody wants a little bit of control and sometimes if I can allow myself to let go of that control, it's so freeing because then they get to make decisions for themselves and then they can come face to face with the good or the bad consequences from that.

(21:46): So in their learning moments while they're still safe in your own home too, you know, these are things that they feel safe and nothing is, you know, once they're out in the whole world by themselves, you know, not that they're ever by themselves, but like once they're out there and really experiencing and doing, and don't have to come back to our home and things like that, we have to be able to be okay. You know? So I think allowing them to have control is a huge part. Yeah. Wow. You know, there's so much that is packed in to like just this story. I mean, I know everybody has a story. Everybody has a testimony. Everybody has like this overcoming. Yeah, absolutely persevering like story. Yeah. That is within them where, you know, God's calling each and every one of us to step out and think about his plan versus our own plan.

(22:43): And there was just so much packed in your story and it's like, okay, there's the purpose, the call you being obedient. You going straight to prayer, you being a team with your husband, the mountain. I mean the mountain that you see even before. I mean, that's the thing there's always as much as like, when he's calling us to do something, it is not like this beautiful sunny pasture that is like right in front of us. And so like, here you go. It's like, no, there is like you smack into a mountain immediately because we want to go in and say, well, this isn't going to happen or this it's. So you have that, you get to the top because we have to go through all the stuff. Then what, what do you see beyond the hard? Right. And I think a lot of times too, especially when we're dealing with people, we are sowing, you know, seeds.

(23:40): There are times where we're just planting those seeds and we may not see anything from that. And that's really hard. It's hard to not see immediate because we are immediate gratification people. And we want to see right away a life change. And sometimes that won't happen and we have to be okay with that. But God is a good God. And he will also, there'll be times in our life where we were reap, where we didn't plant, where we did not sow the seed. We did not put in the work, but we will see the reward of all of that. So it's theirs. And that's like, for me, like one of the biggest things is like, even though right now, I am not, I may not see the fruit come from this one day. Someone will, and someone will know that was God, that was some woman, some man, some person who sewed into the life of that young person or that old person or just anyone.

(24:41): And they get to see the beauty that comes from that because they may be heading a mountain right at that moment too. But there will be these moments that come up like that, that you will have a beautiful thing come out in front of you. And you're like, okay, if I just keep going, if I just keep going, even if it's not myself seeing it, someone will. And that's what matters. That's what matters is that? Not just us, see what we plant, you know, come to harvest and stuff. But other people will because there will be generations behind us coming through. And it's about breaking cycles and generational curses and things, you know, that it all comes out. And so for me, the hope that is there to think that other people are going to reap what I might be selling right now is enough to keep me going.

(25:31): Absolutely. Yeah. This is so crazy because I was just reading this exact same thing. Everything that you're talking about, confirmation, this is what this is. And I got to find it here. I think it is Galatians. Let me look. Yes, it is. Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest. If we do not give up. I just, I just think that's, that's crazy. It goes on to six, 10. It says, therefore, as we have opportunity, we have this opportunity. Let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Wow. It's crazy about perfect timing confirmation. Good. Yep. I love it. I love your heart. This is, thank you so much for, for sharing today. I think you hit home to a lot of hearts.

(26:25): What I keep hearing. Yeah, absolutely. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't let anything stop you because it's gonna get hard. It's gonna get messy. It's not going to look like what you think it's supposed to look like sometimes and that's okay. That's okay. You know, keep your heart pure and keep going. I love it. I love it. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for just you just being here and to think that we just got to have you back. We have to have you, I that's. Yeah, hands down. We're going to have you back. And I just, I just love that you're here. So thank you again. I hope you guys enjoyed Heather being with us today. If you could let us know, leave a review, share it with someone that you love before you hop off here, that would be absolutely amazing.

(27:12): And if you want more fire in your day, follow Joel Allen on Instagram or join us for our next retreat. We have been all over the place on all these epic adventures and that allow us to step outside our comfort zone. So be sure to go to Joe Allen, coaching.com for all updates, and please join the, just breathe Facebook group. We would love to have you join us heads up on the next episode, we are kicking off a new series to end the year of 2021. I'm not sure what it's going to be called yet, but it will come to me though. Just know that it's going to be so good. Be sure to pop back in next week. Thanks so much for joining us today. Please subscribe, share this episode, link on your social media. If you felt encouraged or inspired, as we all know someone that can benefit. And I would love it. If you would give some feedback and a review as well, talk with you next time. [inaudible] The unstoppable

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