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Highlights from this episode include:

  • A key question that can help you break free from a meaningless existence  (5:08)
  • Why achieving your goals the wrong way could ruin your life (8:10)
  • The shocking truth about why people hate their jobs (and how it could have easily been avoided) (9:30)
  • Why knowing what you want is not enough to achieve the life of your dreams (11:20)
  • How to avoid family feuds with your college-bound kids (11:50)
Read Full Transcript

Do you hate the thought of working past 55 or 60? Do you hate not being able to live the life you deserve today? Do you hate not knowing what your financial future looks like? It's time to stop doing what you hate, here's your host, Mr. Harold Green.

(00:20): Oh, hello. Hi everybody. This is Harold Green and it is time to stop doing what you hate. How's everybody doing today? I'm doing pretty good. I was up super early this morning and I had a lot on my mind. I had a lot of things that I wanted to kind of think through in regards to what's happening here in the firm and you know, and also what's happening in the world. And then, you know, taking a look at what's happening in my own life. It's been very busy recently, but super excited about the future and all the things that I am putting together. So what I want to talk to you guys about today is something a little bit different and it's something that a lot of people have challenges with on a day in and day out basis. And so the title of today's show is what do you want again?

(01:13): That's what do you want? And I'm taking this from a, you know, I think one of the previous shows that I did title choosing the right advisor. And one of the things I talked about was making sure before you sit down with someone that you know, what it is that you want. And then I'm going to put a second thing on that also to know why it is that you want what you want. And so I'm going to get into this, but I'm going to start off by talking about someone that I know very well. His name is dr. Terry nation Tunney, and you know, I've known him for some years. He did the forward. And one of the books that I wrote, or the only book that I wrote and a little bit about him, he is someone who truly knows what he wants.

(02:05): He lives every day with passion, and he's just really giving his life to his cause and his mission. And I'm thankful to be a part of his team. And so I'll read a little bit about it. You can find more on his website, doctors and tawny.com, formally designated a living treasure in 2006, dr. Terrorists and Tanya is one of the youngest individuals to receive this designation. He is a unique physician, nutritionist, community health advocate, and medical school professor, the underserved and native Hawaiian communities throughout his entire career with hundreds of programs and activities. And one of his programs won the highest national award for the U S secretary of health and human services. He's been featured in Newsweek, CBS this morning, CNN, Dateline, NBC, and so many other things. And so I love talking to dr. Shantani because he's so futuristic in all the things that he's trying to achieve.

(03:01): And the reason why I brought him up, you know, as a prelude to this conversation is that I think he's truly one of the people in those worlds that knows what he wants. And so it's not difficult working with him because again, everything that he does, he's doing it on purpose and for a purpose. And I want to talk about my own kids. You don't have to, one's a 25 right now working on his PhD. And the other is an architecture student and she's home for the next six months or whatnot. And thankfully she landed a job interning at an architecture firm here in Hawaii. And I was always talking to my son the other day. He's having a difficult time with his research and whatnot. The thing is, is what's pulling him through this as he knows exactly what it is that he wants.

(03:48): And so he went off to MIT graduate in four years and then got into a a PhD program from day one. And we're really proud of him and thankful for his achievements, but we always talked about his kids. You know, when he, when the kids are kids, they're younger, know what it is that you want. And these days I interview so many students and you know, we're going through picking a career career plus major equals college. And we're trying to choose the schools and different things like that. And we're looking at the different careers. And one of the questions I say is, you know, what is it that you want to change in the world? What is it that you see that's going on right now that you really want to make a difference? And a lot of them say, well, you know, I don't like this.

(04:27): I don't like that. I don't like this as so many kids know what they don't like, but not too many know exactly what it is that they want to do. And, you know, I can't blame them when I was a kid. I really didn't know what it is that I want to do. But I think in these times that we're living in right now, there's so much information out there. I think it's really important as parents, we sit down with our kids and we begin to have a dialogue with them about what's going on in the world and how they can make a huge, huge impact. But again, what is it that you want? So I have, I have a couple of questions here, and then we're going to dive into this in a second, but question number one is what defines you. Okay. What defines you?

(05:08): Is it the home you live in? Is it the lifestyle that you have? Is it the car that you have? Is it your kids and their accolades in the sports? Is it your career? Is it your spouse? Is it the work that you do in the community? What is it that defines you? We're going to talk about the why and a little bit. And so taking this on into the financial planning perspective of what do you want? There's a lot of things I see when people began putting their goals down, they began putting their dreams down. They began listing a lot of different things. And so one of the things I do have a program called rapid retire. Some people they engage me for that program. And one of the things I always ask is why do you want to retire early? What is the driving factor what's driving you to retire early?

(06:01): Is it the fact that you don't like your job? Is it the fact that you don't like your boss? Is it some other type of factor that's driving you to want to retire early? And here's where I'm going with this. One of the things of successful people, or the reason why people are successful is because they have the correct heart motive. Okay. I'm going to say that again. They have the correct heart motive. Anytime we get engaged in something, we really have to check our motives and to make sure our motives are lining up correctly with the way things should be in the world. And some of it is a little bit of a morality thing too. And I'll talk a little bit about, you know, what it is that I, that I want. And so one of the biggest things about owning my own firm and then being able to help hundreds and hundreds and even thousands of clients, I do this for monetary reasons, of course, but also what's the why and the motive behind the monetary reason.

(06:59): And one of the things I had to discover is, you know, a few years back, I looked out into the world and I saw what I hated the most. I hated the fact that people were struggling to pay for college. People were hurting to get their kids through school, hurting, to pay for private school. I saw kids hurting to come up with the money for the tuition and things like that. So I felt with my knowledge base and my skillset, I could make the greatest contribution to families that are in the middle class, to the upper middle class, because they had some resources and my specialty is taking some resources and then turning them into magnificent tools to be able to accomplish everything. I call that dual-purpose dollars taking the dollar, doing more than one thing with it, whether it's paying for the life insurance policy and the best mints, the retirement paying down the mortgage, paying off the car, paying the tuition and the lifestyle.

(07:50): And that's part of the rapid retire program. And so I'm questioning the clients as to again, why, why do you want to retire early? If your motives are not accurate, they're incorrect. Then you can find yourself getting retired early and then looking around and not having and still being unfulfilled. So we got to dig a little bit deeper. Some of the times, some of the other things people will say is like, Hey, I want to get my house paid off. Question is why, why do you want the house paid off? Well, you know, maybe, maybe they say, that's what I was told to do. Or, you know, I hate loans. I hate interest. I hate this. Or I hate that again. We have to check the motive and make sure that paying off that house is not going to be a detrimental, your long term financial plans.

(08:31): Some people come in and again, what is it that you want? How would I want to travel? I want to live life. I want to be able to do all the things that I see other people getting to do, but for some reason, I just can't seem to get, get over that hump and be able to, to travel and enjoy life the way I want. And then in question again, is why, what is your motive for wanting to travel? Is it because you work a lot and you don't have an opportunity to catch up on rest and different things like that? What is it that you want pay for college? That's this is a big one. A lot of people want to pay for college for their kids. But a lot of at times I see parents and I'm not saying not to them, I'll pay, but I see parents paying the whole thing and not having their kids put any skin in the game.

(09:11): And it's no wonder a lot of kids go through this process, parents paying for everything, graduating college and still not knowing what they want that. Right. Very important. So many kids don't graduate on time. And then so many people do graduate. They get jobs in 80% of the people surveyed said they hate their job. I think it was like 80%. That's a lot of people in the workforce that don't like what they do. And again, we have to begin having deeper conversations with our children at an early age. What is it that you want lifestyle? You know, do you want the lifestyle where you can wine and dine and shop and, you know, buy the Gucci by the product? I mean, some people, that's what makes them go. That's what makes them say, Hey, you know, I look forward to going shopping this weekend. And so I'm going to work an extra few hours and it just motivates them.

(10:02): And I'm not saying that's wrong. Because again, everyone has something that motivates them. And I'm not the one to sit here and judge or criticize size, what motivates people. Some people come in and they say, Harold, I really want to help my family. I want to make sure, you know, there's something left behind. And the question is why, what are you trying to, you know, perpetuate? What are you trying to make sure. Or, or what type of legacy are you attempting to build? And why are you doing that again? The question is, what is it that you want and why some people come in and they say, I want to grow and accumulate wealth. Well, why is that? Well, the common sense. Now I have to take that, break it down, step by step, and then begin to answer these, these things, because I'm going to tell you, we can sit down and put goals on paper all day, but if we don't have our wife figure it out, if we don't have that thing, that's going to motivate us, then it's not going to work.

(10:54): Another question I ask kids when they come in and you know, we're interviewing them. And I have something it's called an expectation meeting, you know, where we kind of get into what the parents expect of the kids. But the kids expect from you. The parents is at internships during the summer. You know, what are the hard and fast rules of letting your kid go off to college at 40, 50, 60,000 a year? If you can afford her or less, what are the rules to that? You know? And I tell parents all the time, do not let your kids go off to college without explaining the rules of the road. You will come home for the summer and get an internship. If you don't get any internship at home, you'll get an internship in the state you're in, you will pay for grad school, cool.

(11:34): Or we will help you pay for grad school, or you will pay for some of the college costs through work-study during the summer or whatever it is not work-study, but part time jobs. And sometimes I'll ask people, you know, did you tell your kid you're not going to pay for grad school? And they look at each other and they say no, we haven't told them yet. I'm like, well, they are a junior in. And they are answering to a program where grad school is going to be required. I think it's time for you guys to have that conversation with them again. What is it that you want give to charity? I see this one quite a bit. I see people come in, they're giving donations and different things like that. And sometimes I'll say, why are you giving, why is that important to you?

(12:14): What is your mission for giving? And I talked in an earlier broadcast about giving and how you must have a giving plan. And what that means is you're not just simply writing checks out there and casting money into the wind and hoping that you're doing good. Again, I sat down, I looked at who could I benefit the most? I thought about inner city kids. I thought about low income families. And I looked at there's a lot of programs out there for these inner city kids and a lot of programs out there for the underserved communities. The kids just have to have the grades and they have to have the scores. And if they can pass those tests or, you know, get the grades and get the scores, some colleges out there are willing to give them a free ride. But again, I interviewed some of these kids and they say, well, I don't want to go here.

(12:59): I didn't want to go there. I want to go here. I don't want to go there. They're very choosy. And it's kinda like, well, wait, we have to begin to have these conversations with doses of reality. Again, what is it that you want? What is it that defines you? If you want to dig a little bit more into this, feel free to give me a call (808) 521-4401. Let me sit down and have a conversation with you about this, what it is that you want. We can talk about all your goals, your retirement planning and things of that nature, and figure out if I'm your guy to help you get from where you are today and to where you want to be also to help you figure out if there is something that you hate doing, let's figure out how to stop doing what you hate.

(13:43): That is the title of this show. Again, I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to be here, sharing with you today. I look forward to sharing more in the future, but again, I wanted to bring something, someone have a real conversation with you or to you about figuring out what it is that you want. And I think with all the things that are going on in the country today, a lot of people say, how will, you know, if we just put our heads down and we just weekend barrel through this and we'll get through this and everything will come out. Okay. On the other side. Yeah, maybe. But I also think it's time to pause, hit the pause button on our lives and really start to dig deep and do some soul searching in regards to what it is that we want. All right. Thanks a lot. I enjoy sharing with you today. And until next time, one, two, three, let's get it.

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